Chapter Text
It's fitting that with the dawn would come awareness. The water colors of a new day paint the sky low on the horizon as he slowly opens his eyes. It's poetic, really. Most beings wouldn't think him a fan of poetry, but he is. Poetic justice has always been his way of life. So when he opens his eyes and sees the blushing new day, just at the dawn of another life, it makes him smile.
He stretches, looking at his surroundings. He's somewhere in the Midwest by the looks of the plants and trees. He's lying beside a pond, the sounds of life coming from all around him. His head rolls back and forth in soft grass and he sees cat tails standing tall beside the water. He's alone, except for the wildlife. He thinks back and has an identity crisis for just a moment. Who is he? He's been so many things over the years, after all.
He stands, and he feels his wings shifting on another plane. He is Gabriel, an archangel, the messenger of God. He is the Trickster, Loki, a pagan disgrace to his Father and brothers. He is all these things. Where has he been? He tries to remember something, anything. Last he remembers, Lucifer drove a blade into him, and then... Darkness. Quiet. Calm. Peace.
Was he truly dead? He had to be. He looks at his hands, his palms. He's in the same vessel he died in; he's wearing the same clothes. His hand slides down his chest and abdomen and he finds no sign of a blade having ever pierced him.
He turns, the brightness of the sun just peaking in the east. He watches it. How long has passed? Why is he back? Where does he go now? He feels that familiar pull toward home, but Heaven hasn't been his home in so long. Should he go? What's happened in his absence? Is the apocalypse over?
He feels another pull, a yearning, for something unknown. It's in the west. He looks over his shoulder, what is that? It's far away. He could go to it. Should he? No. He should go home first. He has to know what's happened there. Which brother is ruling Heaven, Michael or Lucifer? He needs to know, but he will hide himself. He doesn't want anyone knowing of his return until he can figure out why he's back.
Heaven isn't home. He hoped it would be, he hoped that somehow it would be different since his absence. But the moment he steps foot there it just feels wrong. His brothers are gone, there's no sign of Lucifer or Michael, not even Raphael. His Father is still absent. Where are they?
Heaven is busy, like ordered clockwork. Gabriel watches for some time, trying to glean who's in charge. He eavesdrops, learning that Michael and Lucifer are in The Cage together. He can't help but chuckle at that. So the Winchesters had succeeded. How they had done it he can't even imagine, but they'd averted the apocalypse. Raphael had made a play for power and been taken down. Gabriel can't bring himself to feel anything one way or the other about this. He wasn't here, he doesn't know exactly what transpired and he can't seem to care.
He finds himself being pulled toward Earth again, and when he looks down at it he realizes why. A soul. A strong soul. It's like a beacon to him, shining bright. He assumes it's a prophet. He's the only archangel left, so he'd be hard-wired to protect it just by default. He refuses. He won't fill a role that he doesn't care about for a Father who's absent. He ignores it.
He leaves Heaven to its sterile perfection and returns to Earth. He doesn't know where to go, what to do. He watches the chaos, and he enjoys it. He passes the time pretty calmly, if he does say so himself. He only instigates a few riots, dishes out a few just desserts.
All the while that soul is calling. Every so often Gabriel stops, turns toward it, listens. Sometimes he can almost see it, and then he moves away. It gets closer and closer to him, or maybe he gets closer and closer to it, he's not sure after a while. Eventually the light catches his eye, bright and blinding, and he sees something else. There's an angel with it.
He moves away quickly, not wanting to be detected. He has to figure out what's going on. Has a lesser angel been assigned to the prophet in the absence of archangels? It makes sense. But when he'd encountered prophets in the past they had appeared nothing like this soul. They weren't as bright, they weren't as distracting. He had an instinct to protect a prophet, but that isn't happening now. He doesn't want to protect this soul; he just wants to be near it, in its presence. His curiosity gets the best of him.
He hides himself and moves closer. The closer he gets, the stronger the pull toward the soul. He can almost feel the vibrating energy from the soul as he moves nearer, and it's intoxicating.
He hovers above, slowly descending. What he sees throws him off. Castiel. Gabriel falters for a fraction of a second and Castiel's head flies up, looking for him. His brother immediately becomes defensive, his posture changes and he pulls his blade. Gabriel hides again, and he watches. Castiel isn't protecting himself; he's circling behind a human, watching its back. Dean. It's Dean Winchester, but Dean isn't the soul that's calling to him.
That soul is off to the side, its blinding brightness making him squint. He knows now, he knows who it is. Why?, he thinks. He adjusts his vision, altering the light, filtering out the blinding waves, and he sees Sam. Sam Winchester is the soul. How many people are on this planet? Billions? And the one calling to him like a siren's song has to be the one who probably hates him more than any other. And Sam has good reason to hate him; Gabriel had been cruel to Sam and Dean.
Gabriel wants to drive an angel blade through his own chest. He'd rather feel that than face Sam Winchester again, but the pull to Sam is so strong Gabriel almost relents. Almost.
Dean is talking.
"What is it?" He puts his hand on Cas' arm, turning him.
"Nothing," Cas pauses and looks up again, all around them, "I thought I felt something. It's nothing." He slides the blade back up his sleeve.
"Yeah well, we're in a gas station, Cas. You can't be pulling blades out, people will freak." Dean opens the door to the cooler and pulls out a bottle, then stalks away to the cashier.
Sam has been watching this, but he never says a word. Cas follows Dean, and Sam walks slowly behind them to pay for his water and protein bar.
Gabriel pulls back, watching the three of them walk to the long black car. They slide in and pull away and he lets them slowly fade into the distance. He needs to think.
Why is Sam calling to him? It's even stronger now that he's seen him. The urge to follow the car is a constant nag he has to fight. Sam is a beautiful man, Gabriel would never deny that, but he'd never felt this in his presence until now.
What has changed? Should he go to Sam? What would he say? No, he decides. He needs to know what's happening first. He needs to watch Sam, figure out what's different. He follows at a distance as they drift from town to town, gradually circling closer and closer, and as he does he notices something. His suspicion that the soul was moving toward him seems to be correct, at least he thinks so.
Gabriel knows it's happening for certain one night when he's sitting on the roof a motel. Sam's room is three floors below him. Gabriel is watching Dean and Cas, standing beside the Impala. Cas says something that makes Dean laugh, but Gabriel isn't listening.
He's hidden, he's always hidden, so he has no fear when the door to the roof opens, no one will see him anyway. He's surprised when Sam walks through it. Sam looks up at the sky and takes a deep breath. He closes his eyes and just stands like that, and Gabriel wants to touch him, he wants it so much. Why though? Why is he wondering what Sam’s stubbled jaw would feel like under his mouth? Why does the thought of Sam’s hands sliding around his back make him want to fall to his knees? What is going on?
Sam's hair softly moves in the breeze, his long neck open and exposed, his hands hanging loose at his sides. The temptation to touch him is almost too strong.
Sam looks around after a minute, his eyes not settling anywhere for long. He walks toward the edge of the roof. He looks down at Dean and Cas and then looks away. He wanders over to the shallow ledge Gabriel is sitting on and sits down. He's so close, but he probably only sat there because it's the only thing to use as a makeshift seat. That has to be it, right? This closeness to Sam is a little disorienting.
Gabriel studies Sam’s face. His eyes look tired. His whole being seems tired; the life of a hunter seems to be taking a toll. And really, Sam hasn’t even had the life of a normal hunter. The apocalypse, being Lucifer’s vessel, the guilt he feels over setting Lucifer free, over so many things that have happened in his short life. Those burdens are written in the lines and angles of his beautiful face. Gabriel wants to cradle that face, he wants to soothe those old aches with gentle kisses and reassure Sam that everything will be okay. And that thought is more than a little disturbing. Being attracted to Sam is one thing, but wanting to connect with him on a 'more than physical' level makes Gabriel quickly stand and move away.
He moves to the center of the roof and sits back down, gives himself a little space to breathe after feeling something so strong. He sits down right on the black tar paper and watches Sam, wondering if he might move closer again. There's no reason for Sam to come towards him, and if he does Gabriel will know. He'll know that Sam is drawn to him too.
Gabriel sits there for a long time, and he almost gives up. He starts thinking that Sam isn't moving towards him at all, he never has been, and it's just wishful thinking. He wants to believe it's mutual because this pull to Sam is so strong, but it's probably not.
And then Sam stands up. He walks slowly toward the door and when he reaches the middle of the roof he stops. He stands there looking off far away. Sam looks up again, taking in the sky full of stars, never knowing that Gabriel's head is a mere inches from his thigh. Sam sits down slowly, directly to Gabriel's right, and he lies down on his back. He puts one arm behind his head and he just stares up.
After a minute of watching this in awe, Gabriel finally lays down beside him. They lie there taking in the same stars, just inches apart. Gabriel thinks this longing inside might break him. He looks up and down Sam’s body, at Sam’s hand resting at his side between them. He touches Sam's hand, and he sees Sam’s eyes close for a brief second, he eyebrows drawing together before he takes a deep breath and blows it out. No. It couldn’t be. Did Sam feel that? How? How could he feel Gabriel’s touch when he’s hidden? That's when Gabriel knows he has to tell Sam he's back. But not now, for now he just wants to be next to him. He'll figure the rest out later.
Three days later Gabriel suddenly notices something happening between Dean and Cas. He'd been so preoccupied with Sam that he hadn't paid them much attention, but it suddenly smacks him in the face one afternoon when he sees them arguing beside the car. Dean is angry, they just wrapped up and hunt for a ghoul, and Cas had intervened to help when Dean thought he should have held back.
He can read their body language like a book. Dean walks about ten feet away and stands. Cas leans back against the car, his head falling forward, he looks tired. Dean suddenly turns and stalks back to Cas, and Cas looks up just before Dean collides with him. They're chest to chest, Dean's hands on the angel's shoulders, and Dean presses his mouth against Cas'. Cas leans into it, his hands grabbing onto Dean's waist and holding him there like he's afraid Dean might run.
Holy shit. How did Gabriel miss this? It's so blatantly obvious now, in retrospect. Are Dean and Cas caught in the same feelings as him, and maybe Sam? He can see it written all over Castiel now. It makes him want Sam more. Gabriel immediately decides he's going to make his appearance tomorrow. If Castiel can get Dean Winchester to let his guard down, Gabriel is sure as hell going to at least see if Sam will talk to him. You have to stop hiding, he thinks to himself.
The next morning Gabriel sits on the hood of the Impala and watches the three of them walk out of the motel room. Dean first and then Cas, followed by Sam, who closes the door behind them. Sam is always behind them, seemingly forgotten most of the time. Sam has a cup of coffee in his hand, a bag slung over his shoulder.
Gabriel lifts his power, revealing himself. Cas senses him immediately. He pulls his blade in an instant, pushing Dean behind him. Sam drops his coffee.
"Well, would you look at this, if it isn't the three amigos!" Gabriel spreads his hands wide, smiling. He tries not to stare at Sam. "Fancy meetin' you three around these parts. What's new, boys?"
Cas studies him. "Gabriel?" he finally says.
Gabriel points at the blade. ""Cassy, is that any way to greet your long lost brother? What about a hug, huh? For old time's sake?" He motions for Cas to come closer.
Cas lowers the blade, but he doesn't put it away. His expression is still guarded; he's still gauging the situation. Dean pushes forward, his surprise gone, now he's irritated.
"Get the fuck off my car, asshole," Dean says, walking towards the archangel. He shows no fear.
Cas grabs Dean's sleeve and stops him, "Don't be rude, Dean."
Gabriel hops off the hood, bowing slightly to Dean. "As you wish, sir. I know how it is between a man and his car, and you always have liked them tall dark and handsome." He winks at Dean and then finally lets himself look at Sam.
Sam hasn't moved. He's holding the shoulder strap of his bag with one hand and the other hand is limp at his side where he dropped the coffee. The cup has rolled away, but there's a stain at the bottom of his jeans where it splashed. His face is blank.
Gabriel looks back to Dean and Cas, "So fill me in, what's the haps since I've been gone? You two married yet? You got two kids and a dog stowed in the trunk?"
Cas' face flames red and he looks at Gabriel with eyes like steel. "What are you doing here?"
"Geez Cassy, this isn't much of a welcome home party. Where are the balloons? The confetti? Is there a parade planned? Didn't you miss me at all?" Gabriel feigns an expression of hurt feelings.
"What do you want?" Dean is over this, he looks like he wants to punch Gabriel in the face. Gabriel has always had way too much fun to playing with Dean.
Gabriel glances at Sam, who still hasn't moved, then back to Dean. "Well, as a matter of fact I'm looking to start a new boy band, and thought you three might round out the new crew pretty nicely. You sing? Come on, Deano, belt one out for us. No? That's ok; you just stand there and look pretty. The ladies will love you." Gabriel grins at Dean.
"Where have you been?"
The words come from Sam, his voice thin and soft.
Gabriel looks at him. He's staring at Gabriel with confusion on his face. Gabriel wants Sam to walk towards him, please, he thinks. He focuses totally on Sam before he speaks again.
"Ah, see? Now there's a question worth answering. You two are all "What are you doing here? What do you want?" But leave it to Sam to cut through to the core. Brains and beauty, that's a deadly combination." Gabriel walks toward Sam, looking him up and down. "Where have I been? I'm pretty sure I was dead. I remember Luci jamming a blade into me and then... Nothing. For a long time, nothing. I woke up beside a pond and had an existential crisis for about 30 seconds, who am I, why am I here, that type of thing. And fast forward to now."
Gabriel walks around Sam, taking him in. Sam doesn't move. It's like a lion circling its prey.
"My oh my, the years have been kind to you, Sam," he says softly.
"Have you been to Heaven?"
The question comes from Cas and Gabriel has to fight his irritation at the interruption in his stalking Sam. He wanders back towards his little brother.
"Yeah, popped in right after I got back. Hate what they've done with the place, it's all rules and order. Not my thing at all." He watches Castiel's face, Cas nods.
"So where will you go now?" Cas still has a blade in his hand, Gabriel notices.
"Dunno. Got no place to go I guess." Gabriel shrugs.
"Travel with us until you figure it out," Cas says, making Dean turn on him and gawk.
"What the hell, Cas?" Dean yells.
Gabriel knew the comment about Heaven would clinch it with Cas. His brother slides the blade back up his sleeve again. Neither of them belong in Heaven, it's one thing they have in common.
"No, no. I couldn't impose," Gabriel says, waving them off. This is exactly what he wanted.
"Dean, he has no home. He's no different than me, and he died trying to help you. He told you how to open the cage, we owe him." Cas pleads. He'll win; Gabriel can see Dean's resolve melting looking into those blue eyes.
Dean is quiet for a minute. "Fine." He walks to the trunk and throws his bag in, then slams the door when he gets in the car. He sits and waits.
"Well that's a hell of an invite," Gabriel says. "What about you, Sammo? Care for some company?" He looks back to Sam who's walking toward the car.
"What the heck," Sam mumbles, throwing his bag in, "it'll be nice having someone to talk to while these two make heart eyes at each other."