Chapter Text
Sakura had always gotten by, even with no one to support him.
Bills were paid with odd jobs, rent was paid with favors and chores, school tuition was put aside as ‘tomorrow’s problem.’ He’d made his life work, even when he’d started going to Furin and his time for odd jobs had been cut into by school and social obligations, he still made his shit work.
Until now, apparently.
He stared up at the ceiling where the light fixture sat, unblinking and unlit.
Shit, Sakura realized. He’d missed the electricity bill. He could sit it the dark, but he’d just bought groceries and the stove needed - ah, fuck. So did the refrigerator. All his frozen vegetables and leftovers were gonna go bad.
After some deliberation in the dark, Sakura figured that out of people who lived closest to him and would ask the least amount of questions about why Sakura would need to stash a bag of tupperware meals in their presumably working freezer, his best shot was Kiryu.
Fortunately for him, his phone hadn’t died yet. With a couple of texts he was on his way to Kiryu’s with a bag of food he couldn’t afford to let go to waste, and was greeted at the door by a raised eyebrow and the simple statement, “You know if you’re this broke you should probably become a rent boy.”
”Ha. Fucking. Ha.” Sakura shouldered his way past Kiryu and into the kitchen.
Kiryu watched him with a bored look, making no move to help Sakura stash his food. “Honestly, I’m only half joking. You’re trans right?”
Sakura’s hackles instantly raised and his head snapped to glare at Kiryu.
His friend had a placid, calm expression on his face, no hint of a joke hidden behind his eyes. “T-boys are like a whole thing, if you became a camboy and sold a couple of naughty pics of yourself you could totally make bank.”
“You’re an asshole,” was Sakura’s answer.
This time, a smirk did crack Kiryu’s lips. “What, do you not think you’re cute enough or something? Because I promise, even if people in the real world give you shit for your hair and eyes, the internet would go nuts for you. You’re not even my type and I’d click on your profile just to see if the carpets match the drapes.”
“I’ve just now decided I hate you,” Sakura hissed, loading the last of his tupperware into the fridge and closing the door. “The curry in the red lid is gonna go bad soon, so if you want any you better eat it tonight. I have to go find an Actual Real Job, so in the mean time you can go fuck yourself.”
”Just saying,” Kiryu said. “I’ll text you a couple website links. Think about it!”
“I’ll think about kicking your ass!”
—
Sakura didn’t think about it. He begged for a couple of hours helping out at Kotoha’s cafe washing dishes and learning line prep, got his lights turned back on, and refused to look at Kiryu’s texts.
Until he tried to take a shower and the water didn’t turn on, and really, who made water bills a thing shouldn’t showering be free, it was a goddamned public service to keep a young man clean and hygienic!
Not even the toilet would flush. He didn’t have time for this, god damn it. He had school and after that he had to meet the boys in the alley for some stupid soccer game they wanted him to join in on, and then he was going down to the red light district and he couldn’t ask for money for helping them he’d feel like shit, and…
The red light district. Kiryu’s suggestion rang in his mind, and he ended up opening the texts he’d been ignoring for two weeks. Three website links stared back at him, and, before he could talk himself out of it, Sakura clicked the top link.
He braced himself for an onslaught of barely censored nudes, but to his surprise, all the pics he scrolled through were of tastefully clothed trans boys, even if they were posing in boxers and lingerie for half the profile pics. All of them were beautiful, all of them with perfect lighting and careful picture perfect poses, calling to the viewer with bedroom eyes and bared shoulders.
Well. This wasn’t that bad. He clicked on one of the more masculine looking boys on the site, showing off his abs by lifting his shirt just a few inches to peek at the viewer. More photos, all tasteful and none fully nude, and Sakura realized that was because the actual dirty stuff was locked behind paywalls and model subscriptions.
Huh. He had been expecting something a lot… grosser, to be honest. But then again, he didn’t know what the paid stuff looked like, and that’s what he needed to know if he was…
Sakura growled at himself, closing down his phone. Stupid. He’d just tell the guys he couldn’t play soccer because he had to get another part time job. It wasn’t a big deal. It WASN’T.
—
It took another two weeks for him to crack. Nothing got shut off this time, no bills overdue and unpaid, but… The guys were all going out to eat, and he had just used all his money on rent, and he couldn’t eat with them unless he bummed his meal off one of the others. He knew none of them would mind, but Sakura DID mind, didn’t like the feeling of being indebted even to his own friends.
He could just… try. Maybe take a couple of pictures of himself for a profile, and if someone wanted to pay to see more… Well. He’d cross that bridge when he got there.
Sakura sat on his futon with his phone in hand, nervously wringing his fingers into the hem of his sleep shirt. He stared back into the camera’s reflection of himself, wondering what Kiryu could have seen that made him think anyone would want to look at him like that.
But Kiryu did have a point about one thing - he was trans, and that was a fetish some people had. Okay. Okay, he could do this. He’d take a couple of pictures and post them, and when no one engaged and wanted to see any more he'd go ahead and forget the whole thing.
Anything was worth a shot, and… Well. Even if he didn’t need the money, which he obviously totally did, there was a small, secret part of Sakura that, well… Kinda wanted someone to find him attractive. His looks had caused him problems all his life, so if there was someone, anyone out there, that could actually appreciate them? It was an appealing idea.
Biting his lip nervously, Sakura lifted his hand and looked up into the phone, snapping a quick picture. Okay. That was a start. Now what? What did the other guys’ profiles look like? Sexy, teasing, flirty… He didn’t know how to do any of that. Shit, shit. Okay, no. He could do this. Just…. Lift up the hem of your shirt, n not even a lot… Maybe get more of his legs in the frame… And there. Another picture. It looked… okay. He looked okay, right?
One more. He could do one more. He lifted the hem of his shirt to bite it, stretching his arm out to get more of his body into the frame. The very bottom of his small tits were visible at the top of his stomach, flat and smooth and rippled with the light definition of his abdomen leading down to his boxer briefs, and when he looked at the pictures he’d taken of himself after he’d dropped his shirt he decided that uh… Yeah. That was… that was kind of sexy, right? Right. This would work. He could do this.
He almost lost his nerve during the actual uploading and verification process, but in the end, he got his profile up and his three pictures on his page. There. Now no one could say he hadn’t tried.
—
Sakura forced himself to forget about it after that, continuing to balance work and his responsibilities to Bofurin as best as he could. The idea always hovered at the back of his mind, but he couldn’t bring himself to check his page to see if he’d gotten any views or follows.
In the end, he had other things to occupy his thoughts. Like the small amount of schoolwork Furin required not to be expelled, which he and Suo were currently in his apartment working on.
Nirei was supposed to show up with Suo, but so far neither had heard from him yet. Sakura heard his phone’s message ding go off from the kitchen where he was making snacks, and yelled after Suo to answer it for him, assuming it was Nirei explaining why he was late.
He wandered back to the main room where Suo was looking at his phone, eyebrows raised to his hairline.
”What, did something happen?” Sakura asked, putting down the plate of pizza rolls he’d pulled out of the microwave.
”No,” Suo said, his usual enigmatic smile retaking his face. “Just a text from Kiryu, who says he ate all your leftovers and to come get your tupperware, as well as what seems to be a string of porn and cam site links.”
Sakura dove for his phone, snatching it out of Suo’s hand. “THAT’S NOTHING!”
Suo was still smiling. “It’s okay Sakura-kun. We all have… needs. Although these all look like paid sites, I’m sure if you wanted you could find plenty of pornography without paying for it.”
“It’s not like that! It’s not FOR me!”
Suo had a look of curious amusement on his face, asking a simple, “Oh? Then who is it for?”
Sakura’s mouth hung open uselessly, a strained, crackling squeal drawn out of his mouth. “It’s just -! An idea, is all. I’ve been taking on too many odd jobs lately, and Kiryu… Well. Suggested there might be an easier way to make a bit of money.”
This time, Suo looked genuinely surprised, single eye wide. “You’ve been…”
”N-no!” Sakura denied, face redder than an atomic tomato. “I just… I mean I posted like three pictures, but I doubt anyone’s followed me looking for more than what’s on my face page.”
“You haven’t checked?” Suo asked, still looking a little rattled but otherwise showing no signs of judgement.
Sakura shook his head.
Suo looked down at the phone, still clutched protectively in Sakura’s hands. “Aren’t you… at least curious? To see if anyone’s liked your posts?”
“Well….” Sakura’s grip loosened, and when Suo reached for the phone he let his friend take it from him. “I doubt they would have. I’m not… I’m not like the other guys on those sites. I’m not that pretty, and I’m not that handsome, I’m just… Me.”
A strange look overcame Suo’s face, and, as usual, Sakura couldn’t quite pick up what it meant. “How saucy are the pictures you posted?”
”Only sort of.”
”Then, would you mind…?” Suo asked.
Reluctantly, Sakura nodded in approval, not sure why he was okay with Suo seeing… All that. But… he kind of really was. Maybe even a little excited about it, in a deep hidden part of his mind, because his heart was beating loudly and quickly and some part of him that was desperate for approval and attention wanted Suo to not just see the pictures, but like… Enjoy them? Fuck this was messed up.
”Which sites are you on?”
“Only the first link.”
Suo nodded, clicking on the link from Kiryu’s text message. Suo moved to sit closer to Sakura so they could both see the screen, which was, why?? Sakura didn’t need to see his own poorly shot profile pics, okay, he’d been there when he’d taken them.
It was still kind of soothing, having Suo’s calming tea-leaf scent so close to him. When the site loaded Sakura’s phone was still logged in, and Suo clicked on the little profile button in the top corner to bring up Sakura’s page.
His avatar was the first picture he’d taken, of him biting his lip. And under that avatar was a series of numbers Sakura did not expect to see.
600 page views. 28 followers. 6 messages in his inbox, all from people who wanted to see more of his content, praising his cuteness and asking for more and sexier pics and videos. From three badly framed photos Sakura had taken on a whim, and six hundred people had seen. Over two dozen follows, wanting more of Sakura. Of Sakura Haruka, who had never been proud or even halfway okay with his looks for the entirety of his life.
Suo whistled, impressed. And then he scrolled down to actually look at the pictures Sakura had posted, which he supposed he hadn’t told him he WASN’T allowed to do, so there was no stopping it now.
Suo’s gaze lingered on the last pic, the one of Sakura’s belly, and Sakura discreetly glanced up at Suo’s face hoping to read his expression.
He was definitely caught up in that photo specifically, and there was the barest hint of a warm flush painting Suo’s nose.
“Are you… going to do any more?”
Sakura blushed again, shrugging. “I wasn’t gonna. It’s too embarrassing, and I have no idea what I’m doing.”
Suo looked at him carefully, his gaze direct and his voice honest as he asked, “Would you… Would you like me to help?”
Sakura blinked. “Help… make me into a cam boy?”
Suo nodded, now blushing more obviously but acting like he wasn’t. “I could take the pictures for you, and maybe help direct you with some pose ideas. You don’t have to, or you could even ask Nirei or Kiryu to help you, but I am offering.”
Sakura stared at Suo, searching for any hint of a prank or joke. “…Why are you offering, now?”
Suo’s smile was glowing. “Entirely selfish reasons.”
That, for some reason, Sakura found to be an acceptable answer, vague as it was.
Which is of course when the front door opened and Nirei stumbled over slipping his shoes off, spitting out apologies and excuses for being late that neither Sakura nor Suo heard a word of, as they were both too busy fighting over the phone to scramble to get the page closed.
—