Chapter Text
Sana traced the seam of the couch with her fingertips, eyes fixed on the soft spots in the fabric. The office smelled like chamomile tea and old books, the air thick with the kind of quiet that made her thoughts louder.
Tzuyu sat across from her, notepad resting on her lap, pen tapping lightly against the page. "How have you been sleeping?" she asked, voice calm, patient.
Sana hesitated. "Better," she said, though they both knew "better" was a vague answer. It wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t the whole truth either.
Tzuyu didn’t push. She never did. "And the nightmares?"
A pause. A tiny shift in the way Sana’s fingers curled against her palm.
"Less frequent."
Tzuyu nodded, her expression unreadable, but there was something kind in the way she observed Sana, like she was giving her space to breathe.
A beat of silence passed before Tzuyu set her notepad aside. "I know we talked about this before, but… have you thought any more about putting yourself out there again?"
Sana’s stomach twisted. She looked down at her hands, flexed her fingers, let out a slow breath. "Nayeon thinks it’s time."
"And what do you think?"
Sana swallowed. "I think… I don’t know."
And maybe that was the most honest answer she had.
The sun was warm but not overbearing, the breeze carrying the scent of blooming flowers. It felt like the kind of day that whispered quiet reassurance—things were moving forward, even if she didn’t always feel it.
Sana let herself enjoy the walk home, letting the wind brush against her skin, the world feeling lighter than it had in a while.
When she reached her building, she spotted Nayeon and Momo sitting on the front steps. They were huddled together over Momo’s phone, laughing softly at something on the screen. But the moment Nayeon noticed her, she straightened up, a careful sort of excitement in her expression.
"Sana," she greeted, her voice light but not overly pushy. "Good session?"
Sana shrugged, shifting her bag on her shoulder. "Yeah. It was fine."
Momo smiled at her, a little more subdued than usual. "You look like you enjoyed your walk."
"I did." Sana exhaled, glancing between them. "Okay, what’s going on?"
Nayeon and Momo exchanged a quick look before Momo spoke first. "We were just… thinking about you."
"That sounds ominous," Sana muttered, but there was no real bite to it.
Nayeon sighed, tucking her phone away like she didn’t want to overwhelm her. "Look, we know it’s been a while since you’ve thought about dating, and we don’t want to push you into anything. But… we also don’t want you to shut the door on it completely."
Sana felt a tightness in her chest, her fingers twitching at her sides. "I’m not shutting the door."
"I know," Nayeon said gently. "But I also know that you might not open it yourself unless someone nudges you a little."
Sana swallowed, looking away. "I don’t know if I’m ready."
"That’s okay," Momo said. "We’re not saying you have to be." She hesitated before adding, "We just made a profile for you. You don’t have to use it. You don’t even have to look at it. But… if you ever do feel like trying, it’s there."
Sana looked at them then, expecting mischief, but finding only sincerity. It softened something in her, even if the hesitation still lingered.
"…You two really thought this through, huh?"
Nayeon smiled, small but warm. "Of course we did. It’s you."
Sana exhaled slowly, then held out her hand. "Let me see it."
Momo grinned, passing her the phone.
Sana scrolled through the profile, half-expecting something ridiculous, but… it was actually nice. The bio was simple, nothing too embarrassing—just a short, playful description that sounded like her. The pictures were mostly good, though she snorted when she reached the last one.
"Really? This one?" She turned the screen toward them, showing a picture where she was mid-laugh, eyes nearly shut, mouth open just a little too wide.
Momo grinned. "What? It’s cute."
"It’s goofy."
Nayeon shrugged. "If someone doesn’t like your laugh, they don’t deserve you anyway."
Sana rolled her eyes but felt warmth creep into her chest.
Momo nudged her. "Okay, now for the fun part."
She reached over and swiped right on the first profile. Sana’s eyes widened. "Hey! What if I didn’t like them?"
Momo smirked. "Did you?"
Sana huffed but glanced at the profile: Jisoo, 28, loves coffee, horror movies, and dogs. Not bad.
Nayeon leaned in. "Alright, next one."
Sana hesitated before swiping herself. The next profile made her blink.
Mark, 30. ‘Not looking for anything serious, just vibes.’ The picture was of him holding a fish.
She frowned. "Why do guys always pose with fish?"
"It’s a mystery," Nayeon said, shaking her head. "Left swipe."
Sana swiped left.
Next was a girl with a pretty smile: Minji, 27, ‘Will 100% destroy you in Mario Kart.’ Sana considered it, then swiped right.
Then came someone who only had one blurry selfie and no bio. Left.
A guy whose bio just said "Looking for my queen." Left.
Someone who had way too many gym selfies. Left.
After a few more swipes (some decent, some questionable) Sana put the phone down, shaking her head. "This is exhausting."
Nayeon grinned. "Welcome to modern dating."
Sana absentmindedly swiped through another profile, barely registering the name before moving on to the next. She was about to sigh and hand the phone back when a new profile popped up, making her pause.
Jihyo, 28.
The first thing she noticed was the smile. It warm and genuine, the kind that felt like it could pull anyone in. Her profile picture was simple, just her at a café with a cup of coffee in hand, eyes crinkling slightly as if she had just laughed. No exaggerated poses, no forced angles.
Sana tilted her head, curious now. She swiped down to read the bio:
"Big fan of deep conversations, good music, and lazy Sunday mornings. Looking for someone who can appreciate a great meal and an even better bad joke. Bonus points if you like karaoke."
Something about it made Sana smile before she even realized she was doing it. It didn’t feel like the usual dating app fluff, there was something… real about it.
"Huh."
Nayeon perked up. "What?"
Sana hesitated, then flipped the phone to show them. "This one doesn’t seem bad."
Momo squinted at the screen. "Jihyo, huh?"
"She looks nice," Nayeon agreed. "And you love karaoke."
Sana glanced at the pictures again. One of Jihyo hiking, another of her holding an ice cream cone with a ridiculous expression like she’d just dropped a scoop. She found herself smiling again.
Momo nudged her. "You thinking about swiping right?"
Sana hesitated, thumb hovering over the screen.
With a deep breath, she swiped right.
Nothing happened after that—no immediate match, no fanfare. Just the next profile waiting for her attention. Sana exhaled, locking the phone and handing it back to Nayeon.
"Alright, I’m done for now."
Nayeon took the phone with a satisfied smirk. "Not bad for your first time swiping."
They headed inside, making their way up to the apartment. As they kicked off their shoes and settled in, the conversation drifted naturally.
"I was talking to Jeongyeon earlier," Nayeon said as she flopped onto the couch. "She’s acting all cool, but I know she’s been planning something for our next date."
Momo grinned. "What makes you say that?"
"She kept asking suspiciously specific questions. Like, ‘If you had to choose between a picnic or a rooftop dinner, which would it be?’" Nayeon mimicked Jeongyeon’s voice with exaggerated seriousness.
Sana chuckled. "She’s thoughtful. That’s cute."
Nayeon huffed, but her smile gave her away. "Yeah, yeah."
Momo stretched her arms over her head. "Mina’s the same way. She won’t admit it, but she’s been watching all these cooking videos lately. Last time I came over, she had three different kinds of pasta ready, just to see which one I liked best."
Sana smiled at that, but something in her chest tightened. Not jealousy, she didn’t envy them. If anything, she was happy for her friends, for the way they were loved so gently, so freely.
But it was hard not to think about the past.
She thought about how she used to mistake control for care. How affection came with conditions, how love had felt like something she had to earn, to keep from slipping through her fingers. She thought about how long it had taken to unlearn the instinct to shrink herself down, to stop measuring every word before she spoke.
She thought about all the ways she had convinced herself she was happy, even when her body had screamed otherwise.
Sana inhaled slowly, grounding herself in the present. This was different. She was different.
Maybe one day, she’d know what it was like to be loved like that too.
The conversation moved on, and soon, they all started winding down for the night. Sana went through her routine, which consisted of washing up, brushing her teeth and settling into bed with a deep sigh. The quiet of her apartment was something she had learned to appreciate. It felt safe.
Just as she was about to close her eyes, her phone buzzed on the nightstand.
Frowning, she reached for it, blinking at the screen.
You matched with Park Jihyo.
Sana’s thumb hovered over the notification, debating whether to open the app. It wasn’t like she had to respond right away. Maybe she could check Jihyo’s profile again, get a better read on her.
Before she could decide, another buzz.
A new message from Jihyo.
Sana inhaled sharply. That was… fast.
Curiosity won over hesitation, and she tapped the notification.
Jihyo: Hey, I know I’m supposed to play it cool and wait, but I figured why not just say hi?
Sana blinked. Jihyo was still online—the little green dot next to her name confirmed it.
She hesitated, fingers resting against the keyboard. The smart thing to do would be to wait, to think about what she wanted to say. But waiting felt too much like overthinking, and overthinking felt like an excuse to avoid answering at all.
Finally, she typed back:
Sana: Hi.
A moment later—
Jihyo: Straight to the point, I like it.
Sana let out a small, unexpected laugh. It was an easy message, simple and light. Not pushing for anything.
Still, she felt that familiar wariness in the back of her mind.
People could be nice at first. Charm wasn’t hard to fake. She had learned that the hard way.
Jihyo: I won’t keep you long if you’re about to sleep, but I just wanted to say—you have a really great smile.
Sana’s stomach twisted—not unpleasantly, but in that uncertain way where she didn’t know whether to soften or put up her guard. Compliments used to come with expectations, strings she hadn’t realized were there until she was tangled in them.
She exhaled slowly. This was different. A simple compliment wasn’t a trap.
Sana: Thanks. My friends Momo and Nayeon picked my pictures, so if there’s a weird one, blame them.
Jihyo: Oh, so they set you up for this? Are they the pushy friend types?
Sana hesitated, then answered honestly.
Sana: Pushy? No. Persistent? A little. But they mean well.
Jihyo’s reply came quickly.
Jihyo: That’s the best kind of friends.
Sana found herself smiling—just a little.
She could still feel the walls she had built around herself, still feel the instinct to be careful. But for now, this conversation didn’t feel like something she needed to protect herself from.
Sana stared at the screen, her fingers tapping lightly against the side of her phone. She could end the conversation here, say goodnight, and put some space between herself and the unfamiliar warmth curling in her chest.
But instead, she found herself typing.
Sana: Yeah, they are.
She hesitated before adding:
Sana: Sometimes a little too good at getting into my business.
Jihyo’s reply was quick.
Jihyo: Sounds like they care a lot.
Sana exhaled, shifting onto her side.
Sana: They do. Even when I don’t ask them to.
There was a pause this time, longer than before. For a second, she worried she had let too much slip. But then—
Jihyo: That’s how you know it’s real.
Sana wasn’t sure why, but that response settled something inside her. There was no prying, no leading questions, no pressure to explain more than she wanted to. Just understanding.
The seconds stretched between them, and Sana’s body reminded her she was tired. She should probably go to sleep before she overthought this conversation into oblivion.
Sana: I should head to bed.
Jihyo: Fair. I’ll let you get some rest. It was nice matching with you, Sana.
Sana hesitated. She could just say goodnight and leave it at that. Keep it simple. But something about the way Jihyo worded it—casual, no expectations—made her want to say a little more.
Sana: Yeah. This was nice.
She hit send before she could second-guess herself.
Jihyo’s reply came a moment later.
Jihyo: Sleep well :)
Sana locked her phone and placed it on her nightstand.
She stared at the ceiling for a long moment, trying to figure out what she was feeling.
It wasn’t fear. It wasn’t dread. It wasn’t that awful sinking weight she had carried in past relationships, that sense of walking on eggshells without even knowing why.
It was… easy.
New, but easy.
She closed her eyes, letting herself sink into the quiet comfort of her room.