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Uijin has always felt like home.
Sanghyeok thinks only of this, as soon as he is embraced by the arms of his best friend. No loss has ever mattered more than the reliable comfort of someone always being by his side, even throughout the darkest periods of his life. The famed Faker is far past letting match results dictate his emotions, though the pain of a trophy slipping through his fingers never quite eases.
There are no empty words of consolation, no unsolicited advice, not even a mention of past or future wins. Only the quiet, steady presence of the person who has always cared for him. Sanghyeok could remain in this embrace for eternity.
Once they finally part, probably for the unbearable warmth pooling between their bodies, Sanghyeok wants to talk for the first time since stepping off the stage.
"I've brought you a t-shirt." He steps back to rummage through his bag and hands Uijin the gift.
Uijin laughs deeply, as he looks at the tacky *I love Canada* plastered on the front of the white fabric. Sanghyeok's sense of humor would never cease to amaze him.
"You remembered!" Uijin beams at the thought of Sanghyeok storing away any stupid, off-hand joke he makes.
"I think I have never seen you crave anything more than the absolute peak of travel merchandise ever created," Sanghyeok deadpans, feeding his friend's amusement even more.
"How could I possibly repay you? Maybe you will take me up on the offer I made you?" Uijin dares ask, smiling wickedly.
"Uijin-ah, what are you talking about..." Sanghyeok looks away, the blush threatening to spread all over his face.
It's not that he hasn't noticed some signs recently. Things that happened only two times so far, but that's exactly what they say about the nickels. First, the obvious teasing during the stream when Uijin kept complimenting him and asking him out on a date. To this day Sanghyeok is lost trying to figure out the sincerity of this offer. Secondly, when he was making a reservation and the first name that popped up in his mind was Lee Uijin. At first, he didn't even notice something was off, until he caught sight of the faces of his teammates who stared at him as if he had just made a grand confession.
Even their League profile backgrounds are Teemo and Hall of Legends Ahri respectively. So much for proving they can spend a minute without each other.
"Sanghyeok-ah?" Uijin inquires quietly, breaking him out of the spiral of thoughts. "Sorry, I will stop pressing you."
Sanghyeok sincerely wishes he wouldn't. Knowing himself, he will never make a move for the rest of his life. Uijin acting completely normal apart from the fateful question only feeds Sanghyeok's confusion. After all, they both must feel the rising tension.
"You're tired. Go lie down and rest," Uijin says before squeezing Sanghyeok's arm and leaving the room, looking back with a tender smile.
Sanghyeok stands there, the corners of his mouth upturned, and waves his hand, barely holding it up.
And rest he shall.
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Sanghyeok lies awake before sunrise. He spends a solid hour pondering his relationship with Uijin. Obviously, he will not be making a move anytime soon, lacking the necessary courage to do so, but he can analyze the signs. Strategy is no alien concept to a pro player. So strategize he does.
hotpot?
yuh
At this point, these two texts have become part of their daily exchange. Their communication has evolved to the point that they need little to no words to talk, not counting their made up language consisting of random sounds, which would only confuse any outside observer. Now, it's time for a slight departure.
I'm free after the photoshoot. Do you want to have dinner at a new spot?
ohh how mysterious. surprise me
I will pick you up.
Sanghyeok's fingers hover over the screen with slight nervousness, blunt over the years of having to manage the highest possible levels of stress. Advancing a relationship cannot possibly be more anxiety-inducing or harder than having the whole world watch you on stage, right? Rationalize it, until you make it.
"Pro players and dating advice..." he sighs, recalling his own words. Better get to work and stop mulling it over in his head.
The obligatory out of game activities have never felt as excruciatingly lengthy as they do now. As he is finally being aware of the nature of his relationship with Uijin, the wait only heightens his growing restlessness. Nevertheless, being professionally dressed up and having his hair done is part of the plan.
"Hyung, are you here with us?" Minseok, ever so observant, of course is the one to notice his teammate's internal turmoil and confronts him during a break.
Sanghyeok tries not to sigh. He isn't keeping his emotions in check as well as he could, but there is no point in pretending to appear perfectly unbothered. Not in front of the most perceptive person Sanghyeok has come to know, probably owing to his endless, undying curiosity.
"Not as much as I could. I have a lot on my mind right now." he passes a look at Minseok, who is practically begging with his eyes for even a hint that would help him deduce the inner workings of his hyung. "Fine, I won't beat around the bush," he lowers his voice while they both instinctively move to a quiet corner of the dressing room. "It's about Uijin."
"Trouble in paradise?" Minseok barely tries to fight a grin.
"Huh?" The elaborate thought escapes Sanghyeok, more from the sheer surprise about the bluntness of the question than any pretense. "Actually, no. The opposite, in fact."
Sanghyeok ponders his next words, which lasts a moment too long. Do others also speculate about their relationship?
"Hyung, if you let me, I want to help you the best I can. Or I can just hear you out. Don't worry. No pressure." Minseok encourages him with such sincerity that Sanghyeok could tear up right here and there. So young, yet wise when the situation calls for it. He couldn't be more proud of the person Minseok has grown into.
"It's actually going too well between us," he makes a thoughtful pause before sharing more. "I'm worried I will ruin it somehow. By trying to change what we have. Which I don't even know how to do, even if I wanted to."
"Hyung, don't overthink it. You are already acting like a married couple with all your cute, little domestic—"
"Hey!" is Sanghyeok's only retort. Not wanting to deny such obvious facts, he only blushes while averting his gaze.
"See, I think you can admit I'm right, hyung. You are couple goals already. I'm sure Uijin will love anything you do," he states with total conviction.
Though simple, there must be at least some grain of truth to these words that Sanghyeok can't refuse to listen to.
Their conversation is quite abruptly broken up by the staff calling the team back on set. Maybe for the best, Sanghyeok thinks, as some inquisitive eyes have already started to stray towards the two.
"Thank you, Minseokie. I will let you know how it goes."
"Good luck, hyung. Fighting!" Minseok cheers.
The rest of the team give them questioning looks on their way back. He squeezes Hyeonjoon's arm with reassurance. They will know, sooner or later. For now, the goal is to focus on the task at hand.
After the dragged out photoshoot is over, Sanghyeok quickly thanks and bows to the staff and his team, who conveniently have their own dinner planned, and rushes to leave. He misses the concerned glances directed at him by the teammates, thankfully placated by Minseok's excuses made up on the spot with practiced ease. The day goes by fast, the orange and pink hue of the setting sun has already splashed over the sky. Still, Sanghyeok always takes time to notice the beauty of such moments. He texts Uijin that he is on his way. Luckily, the rush hour is long past, so after a short ride accompanied by his favorite classical playlist and the favorable weather, he pulls up to the dorm building in his Mercedes and steps out of it to wait for his friend.
As the door opens minutes later, Uijin stops in his tracks seeing the man whose back is leaning against the car. His clothes are as jet black as the vehicle behind him; high rise pants and tucked in shirt emphasize the slim waist hidden underneath them, while the turtleneck pretends to provide a semblance of modesty. Uijin can see right through it.
He approaches the car and Sanghyeok's breath hitches when he looks up. Uijin has styled his hair akin to the one from Teemo's birthday stream, drawing a blush from Sanghyeok, who must admit, has seen a considerable amount of thirst posts and edits from that day. He may or may not have secretly wanted to save some of them.
"Sanghyeok-ah!" Uijin greets him, smiling brightly against the dark, evening shadows around them.
Sanghyeok melts, the comfort of being with his best friend warms his heart in an instant.
"Hello," he responds with tenderness weaving into his voice. "Let's go. To the secret spot. But don't try to get it out of me. You wanted a surprise, you're getting a surprise." he warns half-heartedly.
"Yes sir. I wouldn't dare" but he definitely would and they both know it. They meet each other's eyes and burst out laughing, draining all the tension that has been stewing in Sanghyeok beforehand.
When they settle in their seats at last, Uijin can't help but stare at Sanghyeok's forearm adorned with a thin, silver bracelet as he grips the wheel with one hand. It makes Uijin squirm on the inside. He must know what he's doing.
Any amount of time they spend together is a blessing, so even a car ride brings them unimaginable joy. Just being in each other's presence would be more than enough for them to consider it a day well spent.
"And the mystery gets unraveled" Uijin announces wide-eyed.
Sanghyeok stops in front of a fancy restaurant, far from their usual choice. The solitary building is lit by the surrounding fairy lights, their warm tint making the sharp edges of the modern, black walls resemble volcanic ground laced with meandering rivers of lava. The stream running around the place, broken up by wooden bridges, is the source of ambient murmur. Sanghyeok stares right through the windshield in an attempt to dispel the thoughts that doubt the decision to come here.
Uijin places a hand on his friend's, sensing his subtle unease. "Don't worry, I like it. It may do us some good to try fine dining for once in our lives."
His earnest smile makes Sanghyeok release the air he didn't realise he was holding and slouches against the headrest in relief.
"A reservation under the name of Lee Uijin, I presume?"
"Stop it! I was put on the spot," he defends himself.
"Mm sure, the power of the unconscious, or whatever the title of that book you were reading was," Uijin pretends to eye Sanghyeok suspiciously for which he earns a playful shove.
They walk hand in hand to the entrance and are welcomed inside. Uijin finds it easy to forget the real status Sanghyeok maintains, be it for his reputation or sheer wealth. Rarely are there moments he is reminded of that fact. Uijin beholds his dearest friend and marvels at how his presence commands the room, in his sleek clothes and with calm, confident demeanor. How privileged he feels to know the real Sanghyeok, the one behind the closed doors, surrounded by his friends, away from the cameras.
They share plates of exquisite dishes at a secluded table, animated discussions in hushed voices stopping only to give way to comfortable silence. Nobody could tell it differs from their customary meet-ups, save for the pristine luxury surrounding them and the extra effort showing in their put-together appearance. What they both cannot ignore though, is the quiet tension forming a thread between them, in each gaze they hold, each deliberate touch when passing anything on the table.
As the emotions heighten minute by minute, Sanghyeok struggles to find a way to convey his feelings outright. There is one revelation still weighing on his mind which prevents him from fully appreciating the moment and going further. He cannot keep it to himself any longer.
"I've already talked to Joe," he throws all of a sudden. "I'm staying for another four years."
If he didn't know Uijin as well as he does, he would have missed the tiniest sigh when he relaxed his shoulders at hearing the news. Though everyone involved in their trade is used to going through the regular negotiations, the outcome of the current ones must have been gnawing at him at least a little. Sanghyeok silently curses himself for not sharing it with him right away.
Still, Uijin expresses nothing but excitement when he says, "That's great! The longer contract will do you really well, you will be free from thinking about the company meetings for quite some time." He pauses to take in the man in front of him, looking so fondly. Uijin's eyes soften. "Oh, Sanghyeok-ah, I'm so happy for you. And if I may, also for myself. What can I say, I'm selfish. Who else would gank me live on stream endlessly?" He pretends to ponder the question intensely.
Despite the total lack of business reasoning of such line of thinking, Sanghyeok did take Uijin into consideration during the talks. If they were to be separated by no longer being in the same company, seeing each other every single day, whenever they desired, would turn virtually impossible. Sanghyeok cannot picture living away from Uijin permanently.
"See, we have four years of peace and quiet before everyone starts sending me to a retirement home again," he chuckles bitterly.
Seeing his distress, Uijin continues with serious sincerity, "No, but genuinely, I know it's been hard for you recently, and nothing makes me happier than seeing you thrive. I see you hesitate every time the contract comes to an end, but you must follow your heart. If you wish to play for another 15 years, the whole company will bend over backwards to make it happen."
"You know that it's not the company that bothers me. Imagine I leave the scene now. No streaming either, because let's be serious." He looks around the restaurant pointedly. "I'd only keep it as an occasional hobby. And what else is there?" He fixes his eyes on the floor when his tone starts rising a pitch higher than he allows it to in moments of distress.
"We can figure it out together along the way then. Having a lot of time and nothing chasing you to grind is probably a good combo for some inventive self-discovery. Well, I wouldn't know, but who can tell what the future holds for you. There is so much more to live for and I hope I can be there for you if you let me"
"Uijin-ah, of course. I wouldn't have it any other way," he manages to utter through the lump in his throat. He has no words to express how grateful he is for having met his best friend, the most important person in his life.
Uijin gets bold enough to gently place his hand on Sanghyeok's, halting their conversation from the weight of the gesture.
The truth is, Sanghyeok has never been in love. His life hasn't allowed him that luxury in his younger years. Whether for the better or worse, he hardly cares, being where he is now, with Uijin in front of him. He can recognize what he's feeling by pure instinct, hardwired into his body and mind. The sharp pang in his heart as if it was just pierced by a needle, the quickening breath, the pure overwhelming wave of emotions. Though it is said to muddle the mind like casting a wicked spell, Sanghyeok now sees with absolute clarity.
When the waiter comes for the last time, Sanghyeok pulls out his black card to bring the dinner to an end. Uijin doesn't try to squash the pleasure this sight gives him. Being spoiled by Sanghyeok beyond reason fires his nerves more than he would like to admit.
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"Want to go to my place?" Sanghyeok asks, pretending to be nonchalant about it.
Uijin raises an eyebrow at this question. Of course, he has been invited to Sanghyeok's mansion on various occasions, but today has already proven itself to be particularly special. Besides, how could he deny him?
"I would love that," says Uijin with pure sincerity.
The drive passes in a comfortable embrace of silence between people whose mutual understanding goes far beyond words. Occasionally, they catch the other staring and beam like the stars dotting the sky of this cloudless night.
At home, they can't help but immediately settle into their domestic routine. For some, the raw modernity of the gigantic mansion would mean the opposite of comfort. When it comes to Uijin, it has become the epitome of warmth, the one place where nothing can disrupt their peace and serenity whenever they are allowed to elope, if only temporarily. They plop down right next to each other on the huge sofa and Sanghyeok is already pressing play on the series they have been watching together at any time the busy schedule allows them. Uijin is stretching out to reach their favorite fluffy blanket resting on the cushions. After it has covered them both, Sanghyeok settles, cuddled to Uijin's side. At those moments, the world becomes just the two of them.
For the first time this evening, Sanghyeok lets himself release the breath he has kept unconsciously holding. To his relief, today's events haven't ruined the perfect coziness they have built together in any way, despite the darker corners of his mind scheming against him. There is beauty in their relationship being allowed to blossom into a flower, whose stem their steadfast friendship has been tending to. He cannot fathom falling for anyone other than Uijin, his best friend, his soulmate. The steady pillar of his life without whom, Sanghyeok thinks, the universe would simply cease existing.
Not even minutes have passed by the time he slides from Uijin's shoulders into his lap. Before the gentle fingers begin running through Sanghyeok's hair, they place his glasses on the coffee table with the utmost care. From drawing circles on his scalp, they move on to caress his face, gently touching each brow, ear, the lips, drawing a hitched breath from the man beneath them.
The TV has long gone into sleep mode from inactivity. Sanghyeok is the first to lie down sideways and Uijin follows, as he always does. He throws one arm around Sanghyeok. His hand searches underneath his shirt, reaching Sanghyeok's solar plexus. The warmth spreads through the connection. Their bodies become one in the comfort of their seclusion from the world beyond.
Sanghyeok reaches for the hand resting on his body, intertwining their fingers. The wish to stay like this forever has never been stronger.
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Bellowing laughter echoes through the kitchen. Pro players may not be characterised by their culinary expertise, but the struggle makes the breakfast all the more adventurous for the two. It's hard to measure the dreaded pancake flour proportions when the distraction tastes so much sweeter. In the heat of the moment, Uijin grabs Sanghyeok by the slim waist and sits him on the counter. A silent beat of their synchronised hearts passes between them. The look of love, the rush of blood.
"Sanghyeok-ah, you are so dear to me." Uijin's words dance on the edge of a breathy whisper.
"Uijin-ah," Sanghyeok purrs, as his eyes struggle to stay open under the weight of desire.
They lean forward as if some greater power compelled them to move on cue, the distance between them closing instantly.
Their lips meet softly.
Sanghyeok wonders how could he have been worrying over anything, if this feels like the most natural thing in the world, as if they were always meant to find each other, to love so easily. They kiss with no hurry, knowing in their hearts that nothing will ever break them apart.
When they take a moment to breathe, Uijin cups Sanghyeok's face. His expression gets serious for a second.
"Sanghyeok-ah, I have to tell you something. No! Nothing bad I swear," he interrupts, seeing the worried crease in Sanghyeok's forehead forming instantly. Uijin's thumbs gently caress his cheeks to soothe him. "I want to tell you that you are the most special person in my life. I love you so much that I wonder how my heart has the space for all of it. And if you'll allow me, I want to stay by your side till we are old and cranky, and League will have introduced a thousand dashing and invisible champions. Or it may stop existing at all, and I will not care because you are all I need."
Sanghyeok doesn't fight the slowly welling up tears. Years ago, he didn't dare imagine he could be loved so unconditionally, not for his achievements, but for what lies behind the untouchable image. Even when his friendship with Uijin began to blossom, it already was more than he had ever hoped for. To think he deserves something beyond their platonic bond was unimaginable to the Sanghyeok of the past. He will never let him go.
"Forever, Uijin-ah. Forever."
The kisses no longer stop. With every move they attempt to bring their bodies even closer, as if they were trying to merge into one. Hands run through the hair slowly; lips explore Sanghyeok's neck patiently. Each time they go back for a kiss their hearts ignite with boundless affection.
There is so much Sanghyeok wants to spell out with his adoring touch. The unlimited trust he has for Uijin. The yearning for eternity spent together. He wants to take care of him, wake up next to him, and share every moment. Brush teeth side by side, discuss what to cook for dinner, hike around the forests surrounding his home. Their home. Go swimming and eat hotpot just as they always do, but with the added bliss of knowing that they no longer have to part ways at night. He wraps his legs around Uijin to bring him closer.
Uijin gasps. If utter devotion and mutual, caring partnership can coexist, it encompasses what he feels for Sanghyeok perfectly. Uijin hopes to continue to be his constant presence to lean on, no matter what the future holds. If he can be certain of one thing in the world, it's that their love will persevere, for it has been tenaciously flourishing for years. There is nothing he believes in more, than the fact that they could face any challenge as long as they are next to each other. He slides down the hands holding Sanghyeok's neck to encircle his waist. His eyes shine like stars when they lock with Uijin's and their hearts skip a beat.
Sanghyeok reaches down to hold the hand resting on his side. When he speaks, his tone reveals unwavering confidence. "When the first snow falls, I want to watch it with you. Once the cherry trees blossom, let's sit under them until there are no petals left. And all over again. I love you to the moon and back, Uijin-ah."
Though seasons will change, they will welcome them as one. The road ahead seems brighter than ever as they look at each other with hope glimmering in their eyes.
"Forever, Sanghyeok-ah. Forever."
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