Work Text:
OKAY, YOU LISTEN UP INTERNET!
BESCAUSE I HAVE A MAJOR PROBLEM!!!💪
I AM ARTIHOR, A APPOPLEXIAN (M28) AND RECENTLY HELPED MY HUMAN FRIEND GETS OUT OF TOTALLY BAD DEPRESSION. THEIR PET CAT HAD DIED AND THEY WERE TOTALLY BUMMED ABOUT IT.ARTIHOR WOULDN’T GET WHY THOUGH, THEIR CAT WAS A JERK AND A DISGRACE TO THE FELINE SPECIES IF ARTIHOR COULD SAY SO HIMSELF. ALWAYS LAZYING AROUND, ATTACK THEIR FEET, AND ALWAYS HOGGING THE BEST SEAT ON THE COUCH! OH! AND NEVER SHARED THEIR SNACKS!😾🤬
ANYWAY, MY BESTIE GOT ALL SAD ABOUT IT AND MOPPY SO ARTIHOR HAD TO SET THEM STRAIGHT! BRINING THEM SOME TAKE-OUT TOO( THIS WAS MY FIRST MISCALCULATION).😖
AND WHILE WE ATE I WAS LIKE “LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING BESTIE! YOU NEED TO GET BETTER AND GET OUT OF THIS ROOM! YOU STINK”! AND THEY WERE LIKE “BUT I MISS MY HORRIBLE CAT”! AND ARTIHOR WAS LIKE “NO EXCUSES! BE SAD BUT STOP MAKING ME WORRY”! AND THEY WERE LIKE “OKAY! I PROMISE NEVER TO DO IT AGAIN”! ALL WAS GOOD SINCE AFTER WE WRESTLED AND EVEN HUGGED.🤩🤩🤩👍👍👍👍💪💪💪
BUT THEN IT HAPPENED!
SO LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING INTERNET, FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DON’T KNOW APPOPLEXIANS ARE HIGHLY LACTOSE INTOLERANT! OH YEAH! SO THOSE LOADED CHILI-FRIES WITH EXTRA MELTED CHEESE WERE ALREADY HAVING A TITLE BELT MATCH IN MY STOMACH! 😵💫😵🤢
BUT THE WAY IT CAME OUT MY BESTIE THOUGH IT WAS A PURR! A WHISKERS FORSAKEN PURR! AND WHAT DID THEY DO? THEY LAUGHED THEN CRIED AND LAUGHED SOME MORE!🤣😨
ARTIHOR WAS SURE SOMETHING INSIDE THEIR HEAD HAD BROKEN😨AND I WOULD HAVE JOGGED TO THE NEAREST HUMAN HOSPITAL WITH THEM ON MY BACK IF THAT WAS THE CASE, BUT THEY SAID THEY WERE GOOD AND I BELIEVED THEM. THINGS GOT BETTER AFTER WORDS, ARTIHOR FINALLY HAD HIS BESTY BACK AND PALING AROUND WITH HIM. BUT SINCE THEN A FEW TIMES THEY MENTIONED THE PURR AND HOW CUTE IT WAS. THEY AINT MEAN ABOUT IT BUT ITS STILL EMBARASING AND I HATE LYING TO THEM LIKE THIS. THEY ONLY GOT BETTER BECAUSE THEY THOUGHT I PURRED LIKE A PUNY EARTH CAT AND IF I TELL THEM IT WAS ALL A LIE WHAT IF THEY GET ALL SAD AGAIN?😓
WHAT SHOULD ARTIHOR DO?🐯🤔