Archive of Our Own

When life gives you lemons

The small two storied house stands in front of eleven acres of land.  It is made from natural bricks, river sand and clay. When Jimin first laid his eyes on it, he knew it would be his. It was not just the exterior with it’s dark brown sloping roof, the solar panels on top, and open veranda that called out to him, the inside of the house had soul. High ceilings, arched windows, rooms full of light, stillness and movement. There is no colour, save what the earth naturally gifted. This is the house in his dreams.

Then there is the land. The piece of earth that he calls his, he himself tills and toils over, the sun on his back, drenching him with its life-giving light. The things that he grows and coaxes out of the earth and the things that he lets grow wild, they nourish him. They teach him about things that he has forgotten, that has laid dormant in him. The good red earth that he washes off himself everyday only to be painted anew the next day. All of this fill parts of him that he did not know was hollow, empty of anything meaningful.

Park Jimin decides that this is home, feeling very strong as he goes striding over the land he loves.

The sun is dipping below the horizon when he whistles for Smelly. A slim dog with long powerful legs, lean body and a brindle pattern lopes to him, from behind the house.

“There you are, girl. Come on, let’s go home”.

The dog follows the man and runs to his side to push her snout into his hand. Jimin stops walking and squats down to greet his dog properly.

“My sweet, sweet girl. What were you up to today huh? Where did you go, what did you see?”. He looks into her gentle brown eyes. “I wish you could talk to me”.

Smelly snuffles happily in his arms and places her head over his shoulder while he scratches her sides and back vigorously. This is one of his favourite times of the day. When the day’s work is done, and he is greeted by this pure bundle of love.

“And where is Goose?” he murmurs. Smelly’s ears perk up at the mention of Goose and she looks at him askew. “Silly dog” he chuckles.

They walk home, man and dog, with Jimin calling out “Goose” a few times. The dog runs ahead and gets in through the dog door which he had installed when he adopted Smelly.

“Traitor” he smiles at the disappearing dog.

Just as he is about to open the door, a white blur flies at him, at his hip level. It settles at his feet and starts pecking at his pants and Jimin feels the sharp jabs even through the material.

“Ouch…Goose…stop it”. He tries to push the duck away and opens his door. Goose gives one last sharp peck and waddles inside complaining loudly.

“Cranky bastard” Jimin says fondly, sure that Goose has gone in search of Smelly. Goose is always irritable with Jimin, after hours of absence.

He removes his boots and heads straight to the bathroom, stripping his clothes quickly. He stands under the warm spray, mind wonderfully blank, letting his body speak for him. He runs a hand down his body, along the light dusting of hair from his navel, to the thick pubic hair around his flaccid penis. He soaps his thighs, bulging with thick muscles, strong calves and feet. The bath is over sooner than he likes, but he has come to be mindful of not using too much water on his body. 

As he dries himself off, he looks into the mirror installed over his cabinet. Steam fogs it and when he rubs to clear it, his face comes into clarity. He has always thought that he had ordinary even features, the sort of face that leans towards pretty than handsome, yet still unremarkable. No one is going to take a second look at him.

Unremarkable.

That is what his ex had called him.

He huffs at his train of thought. That is behind you. Stop dwelling on unfair, venomous words of an ex.

Goose honks from somewhere in house.  

Jeon Jungkook stares in dismay at the small cottage and jangles the keys in his pocket unconsciously. He supposes that it is charming enough, but it seems like he is in the middle of nowhere and he already misses the hustle and bustle of the city. Around the house runs a small garden with fences on both sides and the back. On both sides of the fence, lays what looks like farm land. The right side of the fence is lined with trees, and in between the thick trunks he can spy young saplings on the neighbour’s land. Growing greening things. It is very quiet he can hear the chirps of birds. He hitches the carry all up his shoulder and walks to the door. The woman he is renting it from had told him that a cleaning lady would be in every alternate day.

He pushes the door open into a dark living space. The blinds are all drawn closed and he blinks to get his eyes adjust to the gloom. The living room is furnished simply, a two- seater couch and a solid armchair surround a scarred wooden coffee table. No television.

There’s a kitchenette to the left of the corridor, opposite to the living room and he walks further along to discover the bedroom and an attached bathroom. The bedroom has a huge four poster bed with two bed side tables and a tall chest of draws in a corner by a floor to ceiling window.

This is it, he thinks. No hook-ups, no clubbing, no lattes filling a ready to go plastic cup, no intellectual conversation. Nothing. Even the air is still. He would be lucky to find someone to say hello to, in this hick farm village.

None of that and maybe time to get over his artist block. He snorts. This place is so dull, where will he even start, for inspiration?

He half regrets taking his friend’s Yeonsoo’s advice. Why don't you go away for a bit? Away from this superficial life you are living. Maybe some time to yourself would help you get out of your rut.

Superficial, my ass. Yeonsoo was part of the superficial life, as she had put it.

He stalks to the huge windows in the living room and parts the curtains. Sunlight suffuses the whole space and he stands in the middle of it, a disillusioned man. The coffee table is adorned with a vase of bright orange marigolds, bright and flashy, challenging the sun.

He flops on the couch and closes his eyes, shutting away the sunlight and the bright, bright marigolds. The silence settles in his skull and he falls into a gentle sleep.

He gets into a routine in a week. Something about the air, makes him wake up early and then take afternoon naps. The housekeeper, Ms. Minseo of indeterminate age has been good enough to leave cooked food and groceries on her three visits during the week.

“I won’t be bringing food from the next week” she had said. “There’s a farmer’s market with produce and meat, on Tuesdays and Saturdays every week”

That is how he finds himself at 11 am on the following Tuesday at the farmers market, There are booths and stands selling meat, vegetables, milk, cheese. He had been reluctant to venture out, holed up with his laptop the entirety of the week, creeping on social media to see what his friends were up to. Now as he looks at rows and rows of fresh green produce, he feels invigorated. He is suddenly ravenous.

His nose leads him to the stall selling cheese, and he asks for a taster from every chunk, and decides on gouda infused with pepper. The old lady at the stall wraps him a little goat’s cheese as well. “It’s pleasure to see a new face, and such a handsome one too” she says winking. Jungkook gives a perfunctory smile, at first. He has heard that he is gorgeous from so many people. It doesn’t have any effect on him. It is like being told that his hair is black, like stating the obvious. Still he cannot fault the old lady and decides to make an effort.

He winks back “Thanks, young lady. I hope you find my face handsome enough next week too”. He cringes inside as the words leave his mouth, but the old lady titters. “Come again next week and we shall see”.

Jungkook chuckles at her sass and moves on to buy some chicken. “Hormone free, antibiotic free” the man boasts. Jungkook nods and picks up two pieces of breast of chicken. He is thinking of what to cook as he moves along. Lemon chicken with dill rice and vegetables on the side, he decides. His mouth waters and he cannot remember when he had been so hungry to cook, so hungry to eat in the recent months. He always enjoyed cooking, but even that had been lost to him in the past six months. Hope springs in his chest now, awakening something.

He walks to the next stall still planning out the recipe in his mind. I should call my brother. He always did cook the best lemon chicken, he thinks, scanning the other stalls for filling in the gaps in his recipe

The fantasies of lemon chicken are stalled for a bit when he feels a wet tongue on his bare thighs and looks down in bewilderment. It is a slim dog, snuffling and sniffing him. The dog then rests its fore legs on his thighs and moves its head up to smell his crotch. He smiles automatically, charmed.

Before he could react with petting, someone calls out. “Oh my god. Smelly… stop that…”. The owner of the voice bends down and curls an arm around the dog, dragging it a little away. He then jumps up and apologizes “I’m sorry. Smelly is still a pup and I’ve been trying to train her… gosh….sorry.”

Jungkook does a quick sweep of him out of habit. He is dressed in a blue shirt over tan shorts with a ridiculous straw hat on his head. He looks fresh faced, young and nondescript. And did this man address the dog as Smelly?

“It’s alright” he says shortly. And then, “I like dogs”

“I’m Park Jimin. Welcome to my stall” he says with a wide, open smile as if he is welcoming Jungkook to an art opening or something. Jungkook is a little amused.

“You seem new. We get a lot of visitors from the city nearby, but almost all are regulars”

Does this Jimin expect an answer?

“Where are you from? It’s exciting to get new customers. I hope you keep coming back”

Of course, it is exciting. Seeing a new face is probably as much excitement as this place could handle.

“You look familiar though” Jimin pauses. “Have I seen you before? Maybe we have met” Jimin muses almost to himself.

Really? This guy was trying the old pick up line? Jungkook snorts. As if he has a chance. This farm person is a far cry from his type.

“If we have met, I’m sure I would remember” Jimin still seems to be musing aloud. He stops now and looks at Jungkook as if he suddenly realizes what he has said. “I—I mean, you just seem familiar ----” he finishes lamely, cheeks flushing lightly.

As if to cover up his embarrassment, Jimin then proceeds to point and name each section of the vegetables and herbs. Jungkook’s amusement grows. He is not the one living in the middle of nowhere.

“And these are lemons from…”

Jungkook rolls his eyes “I know what lemons are” he cuts Jimin’s nervous tirade short.

Jimin frowns a little at his condescending tone and then gives an embarrassed laugh. “You seem new here, just thought…” he says and then stops. Sets his spine straight.  “I wanted to say these are from my tree, as are most of my produce from my land”

At Jungkook’s, lack of response, he sees Jimin’s smile dim. “What would you like, please?” a mask now over his features, his smile fixed.

“You finally asked the right question” Jungkook says with his trademark- sure- to- dazzle- you smile as he picks up lemon, dill, rosemary, garlic, cauliflower and carrots. He really should not bait Jimin, but he is doing this hick place a favour. Adding flavour.

Jimin’s smile remains fixed on his face. 

I probably dazzled him stupid, he thinks and immediately feels a sting inside at the uncharitable thought. When had he become this jaded?

Shaking off the uncomfortable sting, he also picks tomatoes, potatoes, chilies and onions and greens and waits for Jimin to add up his bill. He avoids looking at Jimin, feeling shame at his own grandiose self. The dog with the odd name, something to do with noses that he cannot recollect is pacing behind the stall and getting in between Jimin’s legs, whining for attention. Jungkook loves animals and his heart melts.

“Hey. Come here, boy” he calls.

“Smelly is a girl” Jimin corrects in middle of making his bill.

“Okay. Uh…Smelly, come on girl”. The name of the dog from his own mouth sounds a little strange and he goes to the side of the stall and crouches down. Smelly shuffles to him and he goes to pat her head, but she immediately rears her head.

“That is not how you greet dogs” Jimin says “And here’s your bill”

Jungkook stands up in irritation and takes the bill from Jimin. “I did not know there is an etiquette to greeting dogs” he says sarcastically.

Jimin does not respond. He quietly takes money from Jungkook and hands over his bags. Jungkook is leaving when he hears Jimin.

“There is an etiquette to everything. Yes, even to greet dogs”

Jungkook turns to look at him, wanting to say something sharp and brilliant, but Jimin is already crouched down, face buried into the neck of Smelly.

Farmer’s market always brings a frisson of excitement to Jimin. He likes meeting people and he feels great about having to share his produce. It is almost like feeding others. That warm feeling he gets when his family or friends drink up a hearty bowl of soup made by his hand. He isn’t the best of cooks, and so he makes up for it by growing things for people. Jimin briefly thinks about the new face. They haven’t had the best of beginnings. But really, new face is rude and short with his words and Jimin has had to restrain himself from dishing the same back.

“Why am I thinking of him on a fine day like this?”. He muses aloud, annoyed with himself, as he finishes loading his pickup truck. He whistles for Smelly. Goose follows half flying, half waddling and perches on the top of his vegetables at the back of his truck.

“Goose” he groans. “You are not going with me today.” The duck can get very stubborn and he evades Jimin’s tries to get his hands on him. Jimin gives up. “Fine, you stubborn ass.”

He opens the window leading to the back. “Get in here, you dumb duck” Smelly gives an encouraging bark and Goose squeezes in and plops on Smelly’s back, and starts to groom her. Jimin wonders if these two even need him.

The last time he brought Goose to the farmer’s market, he was the apple of everyone’s eye. All the neighbours and stall owners cooed over him and Goose certainly put up a performance. The ornery bastard. Jimin had to finally restrain him under a basket, because he couldn’t keep an eye on his shenanigans.

“Don’t make me regret this. Remember the time I had to call the Fire Station?” he scolds.

He sets up his stall, arranging his vegetables and sprinkles a little water over them. Goose waddles over and pecks at his bare leg, demanding to be sprayed with water too. Jimin huffs a laugh and obliges. Goose quacks happily. Someone clears their throat and Jimin turns his head to see the gorgeous face of the stranger, who has been coming regularly for three weeks. Every time he manages to say something condescending to Jimin, sporting a superior attitude.

He’s looking at Jimin and Goose with one eyebrow slightly raised.

Could he look any more like a douche bag?

The gorgeous condescending asshole, who looks like all of Jimin’s heartbreaks.

Jimin had hoped the gorgeous stranger does not visit today. That’s a lie. He wants him to visit and at the same time does not. Look, but don’t touch, the man’s demeanour screams. That is fine with him. He doesn’t think he could bear to touch someone with that attitude and someone who clearly thinks that Jimin is an uneducated farmer from nowhere. Then there is the niggling feeling that he has seen this man somewhere. He does not want feed the asshole’s ego by referring to it again.

“You are early today.”

Gorgeous ass shrugs. “Felt like taking a walk.”

“A walk? You live here?”

“For a bit. I have rented a cottage, Summerhedge.”

Well fuck, this guy is right next to his farm!

Goose clicks and quacks at being ignored and runs off when he sees the grandmother selling cheese hold out some bread and cheese for him. Such a spoiled brat.

Gorgeous ass’s eyes follow Goose and then he looks at Jimin. “Where’s uh.. Smelly?”

“She must be around somewhere canoodling an unsuspecting victim” he answers fondly.

The gorgeous stranger smiles at that, a genuine happy smile. Jimin has to hold back a laugh at the cuteness. His smile is wide and sweet and his two front teeth poke out slightly over his bottom lip.

“The lemons don’t look fresh today” he says squeezing a few. “and those greens have died twice over”.

Jimin gives a start. The spell is broken.

And the ass is back.

“Thank you for that lovely commentary on the state of my vegetables. Now, if you ….”

“Jiminieee” the cheese grandmother calls, a little frantic.

“What is it Grandma?” he yells back.

The gorgeous ass huffs in impatience.

“Goose” she points overhead and then to the field. He looks up and sees the v formation of ducks flying off into the horizon and sure enough, Goose is half running and half flying across the field after them.

“Oh Goosie.” he grits in frustration.

He takes off in a run and gives chase. The flying ducks have now disappeared and Goose has managed to perch on a branch up a tree. Jimin groans. Goose always has trouble coming down, it’s something he had struggled with as a duckling too.

He runs back and whistles for Smelly. She comes running from underneath the meat table. “C’mon on girl, we have a duck to rescue”. Jimin jogs beside Smelly to the tree. He hopes Goose could be persuaded to come down for Smelly. It doesn’t work. Goose honks woefully and flaps his wings. He will have to climb the tree. He tries a couple of times, and scrapes his elbows badly for it. Smelly circles the tree, whining lowly.

“What’s wrong with it?”

Jimin palms his chest, startled.  The gorgeous ass is panting with exertion, by his side. Jimin is startled. He had not noticed his arrival.

“He won’t come down” Jimin shouts, aggrieved. “arrghhh now I have to call in the fire brigade or the police” he clutches his hair.

The guy gives him an incredulous look. “It’s a duck. How can it not fly down?”

Jimin ignores him and tries to climb the tree once more and manages to get half way up the thick trunk, when he loses his footing and falls. He lands on his ass at the foot of the tree and pain explodes, radiating to his back.

“Fuck my life” he whispers in agony. His ass cushioned his fall a little, but he was going to be feeling it for days. He lies on the ground, looking up at the sun shining through the foliage. Will o wisps his mother had called it. It’s a sun sprite carrying fleeting wisps of light, Minie. Look through the leaves, see, its dancing for you. Jimin feels a sharp stab longing for his mother now. She would make all of this okay. She would know how to get Goose down.

The gorgeous ass steps over him and prods Jimin's ankle with his foot. “Move”. When Jimin closes his eyes and refuses to react, he crouches and lifts him up suddenly into his arms in a bridal carry. Jimin shrieks and clutches at his neck instinctively. He is dropped unceremoniously a few feet away and before he can protest at the rough handling, the guy is striding towards the tree and climbs it, swift and sweet of limb. He hefts himself up with strong arms and crawls onto the branch on which Goose is perched. Goose quacks anxiously and Jimin shoots to his feet, ignoring the pain in his ass. “Goose, you are my darling, right? Go to him” he encourages. There’s a bit of a scuffle as goose, edges away nervously from the stranger’s swipes.

The guy finally manages to get an arm around Goose and the silly duck pecks at him for his trouble. Jimin stifles a smile at that.

“No no, don’t throw him down” Jimin yells, when the guy draws back his arm a little.

“Are you serious right now?”

“He will get frightened. Please.”

“Fine, fine. I wish I had never met the lot of you” he snaps back as he gingerly moves across the branch. Goose struggles under his arm and gorgeous ass almost loses his balance a couple of times under Jimin’s worried gaze. When he is half way down, he half turns and drops Goose into Jimin’s outstretched waiting arms.

“You silly boy” Jimin coos. Goose pecks at his hair in affection and honks loudly. Smelly jumps up and gives excited little barks. “Such a bad boy, making me worry. Why do you keep running after other ducks huh?”. He rubs Goose between his eyes and on his bill. Goose places his head over his shoulder and Jimin’s heart puddles into goo. It is not often that the duck is affectionate. He really must have been very afraid.

“As touching as all this is, I’m going to take a hike now.” The gorgeous ass’s voice seems to drip with irritation and disdain.  

 Jimin whirls around to face him. “I don’t even know your name.”

“That’s not how Thank you sounds. And you are bleeding” he points.

Jimin takes a deep breath, “Thank you. Really”

Gorgeous ass just nods at that and starts in the direction of the market and Smelly follows him. The traitor.

“Chop chop, Jimin” he calls without turning around “Let’s get your elbows cleaned up. I don’t have all day”

“Look at what you did, Goose. Now I’m beholden to that fucking ass” Jimin whispers.

“You say something?”

“Just giving my eternal thanks”

“That’s what I thought”

Goose allows Jimin to carry him all the way back, every step a painful limp.

“Jiminie, you caught him! I was worried after last time when the fire brigade had to come” Mrs. Sooyah says in apparent relief when Jimin limps into the market.

Jimin’s cheeks heat up. Gorgeous ass seems interested. “Really? What happened, young lady?”

Mrs. Sooyah giggles and swats at the gorgeous ass before speaking. “This one here somehow flies up on top of the flag above Dashin’s tarpaulin and the fire brigade let off Jiminie with a warning”, she says pointing to the meat seller’s stall. It really did have a ridiculous flag on top of the tarpaulin.

“Goose cannot help it, Grandma” Jimin replies, hating the whine in his tone, in front of the stranger. He may cuss Goose all he wants, but he hates hearing any bad word against Goose from anyone else.

Gorgeous ass snorts and to escape his annoying smirk, Jimin hurries behind his stall and wrestles the protesting Goose under a basket.

“Oh my, your elbows are bleeding.” Mrs. Sooyah is concerned.

“I’ll take of care of it, Grandma” Jimin mumbles.

Gorgeous ass follows him, much to his irritation.

“What?”

“Is this how you treat your saviour?”

“Saviour, my ass”

“Speaking of ass, I cannot believe you are packing such a thick one” Gorgeous stranger grabs the container of water from the floor. “You are lucky. It saved your ass” he snickers at his own idiotic joke.

“Shut up” Jimin says self-consciously, unable to think of anything fitting at the moment.

Gorgeous ass unbuttons the last four buttons on his white shirt, wets a bit of the end of his shirt and dabs at Jimin’s elbows, cleaning the scratches.

“What are you doing?” Jimin jumps back, shocked. “Don’t use your shirt.”

The open part of his shirt reveals abdominal muscles and a V line disappearing into his low slung jeans.

“It’s fine. Come here”

The stranger tending to his wounds with his shirt is strangely disarming and charming at the same time. Jimin feels hot all over. It pierces the arrogant and rude veneer the stranger is armed with. It is the sort of thing a person does for their loved one, on instinct. Something a mother might do for her children. Something this pure has no place between Jimin and this person and it binds his feet.

They stare at each other for a beat, the end of the shirt still crumpled in the stranger’s fist.

“You are bleeding and I haven’t got all day.” Though his words are brusque, the tone is gentle and Jimin is compelled.

Jimin tries not to look at his abdomen as he shuffles closer and let the stranger tend to his elbow. This close, the stranger’s head, slightly bent, Jimin gazes at the hair falling over his forehead. His fingers tingle with the need to tuck the stranger’s hair behind his ears. His lashes flutter like moths against his cheek, as he concentrates on his task. Jimin trails his eyes down to his collar bones, solid and defined. His heart could sit in those indents, ready to set sail.

“Ridiculous” He whispers and looks up and away.

“I would put ice on it, ASAP. No matter how thick your ass is, it is going to hurt like a motherfucker” The stranger’s words chase away his fanciful musings and replaces it with familiar irritation

“Can we stop talking about my ass. I don’t even know your name” Jimin snaps in aggravation.

“Ok, let’s talk about how I whopped your farmer’s ass by climbing the tree, then. How are you a farmer?”

 Jimin splutters.

“Nice comeback, Jimin”

“Listen I’m a little traumatized”

“There. All done.” Gorgeous ass has distracted him so much that he did not feel any pain.

Yeah because the ass caused so much mental pain that I forgot the physical one. Gorgeous ass is blowing lightly on his elbows and Jimin remembers the last time his mother did the same for him. “Thanks” he says ungraciously and yanks his hands away, feeling vulnerable at the memory.

“I’ll buy your dead leaves to make your day better.”

Jimin honestly just wants him to leave. He’s starting to get riled up and that comment on his ass is making him a little bitter. He wants to go home with Goose and Smelly.

“Yeah sure. Take whatever you want. It’s on me. As a thanks for saving my duck.” Jimin gestures quietly.

"What? No lecture today on how your greens are the freshest and the best?"

Jimin is silent.

The smirk on Gorgeous ass’s face fades a little. “I’m not taking anything for free, Jimin. What I will do is send my shirt to you for washing. That would be thanks enough?”

“Whatever you say” Jimin says listlessly.

Gorgeous ass picks some lemons, greens, tomatoes, cabbage and mint. Jimin bags everything and draws up his bill.

“I’m Jeon Jungkook” gorgeous ass says before walking away with his purchase.

Jeon Jungkook, Jimin repeats in his mind, elbow still stinging. But his heart? His pulse quickens, as he remembers those indents curving strongly, so ready to carry away his heart.

Jimin’s ass really does hurt like a motherfucker. But the first thing he does when he reaches home is not ice his butt, no. He first googles “Jeon Jungkook”. He finds out that Jungkook is a well-known artist, with his own studio and shows. No wonder he seemed familiar. Jimin is sure that he has seen his face on advertisements for a gallery opening. He tries to remember if he has been to one of his shows courtesy of his previous career as a lawyer in one of the big firms in the city. He wonders what Jungkook is doing in this small farming village.

The next day, at around mid-afternoon he goes to the house to ice his butt and finds a bag on the handle of his door outside. He opens it and takes out a white shirt. There’s a note. Please wash this and return it to your lord and saviour. Your lord and saviour has a delicate nose. He appreciates Downy comfort spring dew.

No signature adorns the note, but there is a drawing of a duck on the top corner.

Jimin laughs in spite of himself and walks inside. Goose is sitting in a saucepan on the dining table.

“You crazy duck. I have to wash the stupid man’s shirt because of you” he scolds.

“Stupid but such a fiiine man. So easy on the eyes” he continues dreamily. He brings the shirt to his nose and breathes in. To his surprise, it’s a delicate fine scent with flowery hints and beneath it, pure man. He expected a stronger musky scent, to match his cocky attitude. Jimin puts down the shirt and looks around guiltily as if he is going to be caught. He meets Goose’s beady eyes, judging him.

Goose ruffles his feathers and quacks in disdain.

“I will not use what he wants” Jimin informs judgmental Goose. It’s a silly rebellion.

Jimin washes the shirt with his favourite lemon scented powder. He makes the powder himself with the dried peels of lemons from his tree. He waffles between running to Jungkook’s house the very next day and waiting a day or two. He decides to wait a day more, only if to appear less desperate 

Jungkook is feeling great.

Thats what he tries to tell himself. Just great. It lands like a lie. Something is rattling inside his ribs, unwilling to settle down. 

He pulls on a shirt, wondering if Jimin is better. If his elbow is healing. If his back is……He aborts his thought, as realisation seeps in. 

His on and off hookup, Yoonah had visited him and is presently sleeping on his bed after a round of satisfying sex. He feels a little bad about her coming all the way here, but then shrugs it off. She wouldn’t be here if it was too much trouble for her.

“Whatever. I’m sure Jimin is fine.” Jungkook scoffs. “I’m feeling good.”

The lie he is telling himself and the restlessness jangles in his limbs now. He frowns and reaches for his pen and notebook.

He sketches a little and notes down ideas. I wonder if Jimin has wash… He cuts off his thought and frowns. He’s been thinking of Jimin at the oddest moments and a little too much for his own liking. He hears a knock at the door and checks the time. It’s seven in the evening. Jungkook is not expecting anyone. Jimin stands at the door with his fist raised and a startled look on his face. 

Jungkook mirrors the startled expression, his whole body igniting with it. It’s almost as if he grabbed Jimin from his mind., and placed him in front of his door. His heart kicks wildly inside his chest.

“I was going to knock again” he says with a knocking motion. He thrusts a bag into Jungkook’s hands. “Here, I washed your shirt’.

Jungkook takes it, swallowing hard against the rising swell of heart beats.

“okay then….i’ll..”. Jimin makes a motion like he wants to flee.

“Wait…Where’s Smelly? And how’s Goose?” Jungkook asks urgently, stopping Jimin in mid turn. 

“Both are in the house, probably conspiring how to take me down” Jimin complains, facing Jungkook again.

Jungkook laughs, tightness easing a little. “And you? how are you? Your back?”

“I’ve had better days” Jimin grimaces.

For some reason which he does not want to probe, Jungkook is not yet ready for Jimin to leave and wants to keep talking to him.

“Why did you name him Goose?” he enquires.

“er…” Jimin looks unsure.

“I really want to know. This is my first time meeting a duck named Goose.”

“Ha! I know how ridiculous it appears”

“Intriguing, more than ridiculous” Jungkook corrects

Jimin still has the I’m-going-to-flee-anytime look, but he straightens his shoulders and smiles. “I found him alone by the side of the pond in the village and took him in. He was very weak and I thought he wouldn’t make it. I didn’t name him for two weeks until I was sure he would live and all that time I thought he was a gosling. I started calling him Goose in those two weeks and the name stuck”

“He does live up to his name. Such a silly goose” Jimin continues, smiling fondly and Jungkook is charmed. Jimin looks so sweet talking about his duck, almost like a parent talking about their child. If Jungkook hadn’t met Goose already, he suspects that this is the moment Jimin would pull out the photos.

“Want to… want to see him as a duckling?” Jimin asks on cue, with a shy smile.

What Jungkook wants to do is smoosh those plump cheeks together. “Yeah, show me” His voice comes out creaky, throat hindered by an unrecognizable emotion.

Jimin fishes out his phone and opens a gallery titled “Goose”. Goose was pretty adorable as a duckling. He was brown with cream patches around his eyes and beak. They are standing close now and Jungkook realises that Jimin is shorter than he is. Jimin’s lips form the slightest pout as he concentrates on his phone. Jungkook leans a little closer. “You smell of lemons”.

“hmmm. Must be my detergent” Jimin mumbles distractedly.

Jungkook realizes what he has said and hurriedly asks the next question to cover his gaffe. “What’s wrong with Goose? Why wasn’t he able to fly down?”

“His left wing is not fully developed. He cannot fly really well and since a duckling he has had trouble getting down from high places. He will fly up somehow. I had to rescue him from my table once, when he was little” Jimin smiles and looks up. His smile slowly recedes when he notices their proximity. There’s an odd tension in the air and Jungkook does a slow sweep of his features. Jimin’s eyes are so pretty and when he smiles, his eyes scrunch up into crescents.

Jungkook holds his breath, waiting for what he doesn’t know.

“Kookie?”

Jimin’s eyes move to somewhere behind Jungkook and the tension breaks. He releases the breath he is holding. A noisy exhale of disappointment.

Shit, he had forgotten about Yoonah. Jimin takes a couple of steps back, body becoming reserved. “I should go”.

Yoonah is wearing one of his shirts and nothing underneath. Jungkook insides twist oddly and he suddenly wants to hide Yoonah from Jimin. He is irritated at himself and decides impulsively to introduce them, just to challenge his own feelings.

“Jimin..” he says loudly. “This is Yoonah. My…friends wit.. my friend”. He stutters and stops entirely.  What is wrong with me? 

He had tried to say "Friends with benefits" and found himself unable to complete the sentence.

"Um.. Nice to meet you Yoonah.” Jimin greets, a perplexed look on his face. 

“Likewise” Yoonah says walking towards Jungkook. She winds an arm around Jungkook’s waist. Jimin’s eyes dart to where her arm is curled around his waist. Jungkook wants to shift away. Away from the arm around his waist, away from the searching eyes of Jimin.

“Yeah…I should go. Have a duck and dog to feed” Jimin laughs awkwardly. He waves, and walks backwards a few steps.

“Sure.. yeah.” Jungkook stumbles around those words, not wanting him to go. “ Tomorrow,.…”

But Jimin does not hear. He is already leaving, taking the incomplete words with him.

“What was that Kookie?” Yoonah grins, amused

Jungkook looks into the distance, where Jimin has disappeared.

“I don’t know” he says softly, hand over his heart.

“I don’t know” he repeats to himself, for himself, eyes searching still, for Jimin.

Jimin does not know why he is embarrassed. It should be Jungkook, not him.

“Friend” he scoffs to Smelly. “A friend who he sleeps with”. Jungkook is straight of course. He should have known when Jungkook is gorgeous and an ass. If he didn’t know any better, it looked like Jungkook was rubbing it in his face. Farmer with a thick ass, see what a fine person I sleep with.

She really is beautiful.

The next few days pass by in a blur of hard work. He has no time to think of Jungkook and the earth heals him of his loneliness and desires.

After he purchased the property, he came across a juvenile tree, growing wild. It was dying, leaves curled up and bark an ashy grey. The tree had pricked him, during that first meeting, on his finger, drawing blood. The thorns were alive among the dying leaves. He had crushed a leaf between his fingers and there rose a citrusy scent, the scent of lemons. Even as it lay in decay, the scent was strong. Rebellion rose within his heart. Nothing will die on his land. He had set to work then. He pruned, watered, fertilized, weeded and picked with his hand the numerous stippled yellow leaves. The farms hands had teased him, so protective was he of the tree. He had willed with everything he had, for it to survive. One day, the tree stirred and sent out tender green leaves, shoots and thorns.  

It nourishes him now, his prickly lemon tree. It lends a slice every day for his green tea, a few fragrant leaves go into the special thai curry he makes and it cleanses and perfumes his clothes. He knows now that it was very idealistic of him to think that nothing should die on his land, but he is glad, for his tree survived. Flourished. He likes to think that it was because of his undying will.

Jungkook arrives in the farmers market one Saturday, bearing the same scent on his shirt. It’s the shirt Jimin had washed. It had to be, for it carries the scent of lemons.  There’s an uneasy truce between them. Jungkook still baits him, teases him but it is without any sting and Jimin starts to enjoy their encounters. Jungkook visits him on his farm one day with an excuse about needing to see Smelly and Goose. Jimin shows him around and takes him to his tree.

“Here, smell her leaf. Like this” Jimin encourages, crushing a leaf between his fingers. “Her?”, Jungkook questions before he catches Jimin’s wrist in his hands and inhales.

“I..I meant, you do it”. Jimin stares at his trapped wrist and the strong fingers around his bone.

“Smells delicious” Jungkook smirks.

Jimin wrings his wrist free and walks away, hiding a frantic heart. Surely, Jungkook can hear it, the yearning singing high in his ears.

“Her?” Jungkook repeats, running after him. “What is she called? Plank?” he asks with teasing sarcasm.

“She doesn’t have a name. It’s just she, her” Jimin admits, a little red in the face.

“Cute”.

It emerges in their conversations that Jimin was a lawyer and that he gave up his career to farm. “The way you argue, you would have made a shitty lawyer, anyway” Jungkook teases. Jimin smacks him, but lets him get away with it like he usually does these days. At least he did not dissolve into helpless laughter. Why does everything he say is funny to me? He laughs at the oddest of things, which from anyone else would not be remotely funny

Jungkook stares at him a lot, his eyes sweeping his features until Jimin feels like squirming. When Jimin speaks, Jungkook gives him his entire attention, again staring. It unnerves him and he does not know what to make of it.

Jungkook shows him some of his paintings on his website. He does oil work mainly, and Jimin particularly likes a simple one. A dark sea in the horizon, with frothing white waves on the beach and the beach itself, several shades of brown and gold. The sky above the horizon is pale pink, purple, white and blue.  

There are also a few paintings of a male in throes of an orgasm and Jimin notices that it is from his latest paintings.

“That’s my friend.” Jungkook says, when Jimin lingers a bit too long on it.

“Your friend? He…um …he let you watch his orgasm?”

“He certainly let me, since I was the one giving him one.” Jungkook flashes a quick look at Jimin.

“You are… gay? No.” Jimin shakes his head.  “Bisexual?”

“I am. Bisexual” Jungkook confirms with a careful tone.

“Oh” he responds, voice small. Jimin had been so set on Jungkook being straight, that he has ignored any other possibility against his instincts based on his interactions with him.

“Are you not okay with my sexuality?” Jungkook’s voice goes a little hard.

“No” Jimin rushes to say. “I’m gay” he blurts, right after. There’s a moment of silence after his confession. Jimin’s face is high on colour and he quickly points to the painting on the phone. “Was he okay with this being displayed?” Jimin asks curiously.

“Yes. He likes the spotlight, I guess” Jungkook shrugs. "Its nothing special. He was just someone i was sleeping with at that time and he volunteered. Could have been anyone"

Could have been anyone? Jimin is mystified.

He coaches himself not to ask the question forming at the tip of his tongue. Don’t ask Don’t ask Don’t ask

“What will your friend..…Yoonah think?”

Oh crap.

“What should she think? She won’t make anything of this. She is just a friend with benefits, not my girlfriend or significant other.”

Jungkook has never had a serious relationship. Jimin has had two. “I’ve never found anyone good enough to commit” Jungkook says carelessly when questioned.

“I do sleep around a bit, but I don’t go in search of it you know? It just happens”. Jungkook speaks with the ease of someone who has never had to really work to attract people. He always found a reason not to stay. Jungkook even had a boyfriend for six months. At first it was nice, until he realized that he didn’t feel anything special. The sex wasn’t all that thrilling for him. He broke up with no heartbreak on his end whatsoever. How shallow was that? He only ever went through the motions;

Jimin is a little saddened at the detached tone that creeps in when Jungkook speaks of love. He keeps his thoughts to himself, not sure how to articulate love, romantic love.

“You sound cynical” he says instead. And sad.

“Maybe” Jungkook replies.

Jimin sighs.

“But I don’t want to be.” Jungkook pleads, eyes beseeching. As if waiting for Jimin to rescue him. “I….I don’t know anything anymore”

And Jimin wants to rescue him. Pluck him from the sharp, thorny, glittery world he lived in and steep him in love and kindness.

He resists that persistent want, no, need and does other things. Like eat Jungkook’s food, making him tea, taking walks together, showing him how to plant seeds. He allows Jungkook repair his fence, to help him transplant saplings. They talk, talk and talk, words always flying, laughter always echoing.

All the things that could be confused for love and kindness. All the things that could make someone else happy. So, Jimin is careful.

But what would a wanting, waiting heart know of safety?

“That boy, he seems to have eyes only for you. And he keeps watching you.” Mrs. Sooyah tells him one day conspiratorially.

Ridiculous. As if.

Jimin conveniently ignores her. “How is business?” He asks.

“Good. But that boy hasn’t bought cheese from me these two weeks!”

“You spoil him Grandma. You give him extra cheese every time. He has too much cheese and that's why he hasn't bought any recently.”

 “Ah what to do, he is such a handsome boy and he indulges this old woman.”

“Yeah? I do it too, and you never give me free cheese” He complains, jokingly

“Jimin, why are you poisoning this young lady’s ears” Jungkook says with a shit eating grin, appearing out of nowhere. It immediately sends Mrs. Sooyah into girlish titters and Jimin can barely contain his own laugh.

“Go away” Jimin flushes, caught at gossiping.

“I use a lot of your cheese to make him pasta. Which he devours every time. He hardly leaves any for me” Jungkook informs Mrs. Sooyah.

“Really?” Mr. Sooyah, asks, hand over her mouth. Her eyes dart to Jimin.

“Be quiet” Jimin tries to hush him, embarrassed.

“Is that any way to speak to your customer? Who will buy your dead leaves now?” Jungkook continues, playfully.

Ridiculous. The man is ridiculous

“Shouldn’t you give me free produce in exchange for all the forced labour at your farm?”

Mrs. Sooyah is scandalized. “Jiminie…” She gasps sternly. “Forced labour?”

“No… that…” Jimin splutters, caught between betrayal that Mrs. Sooyah has taken Jungkook’s side and amusement at Jungkook’s words.

“He’s volunteered, Grandma.” He finally manages, catching hold of Jungkook’s hand and dragging him away.

Jungkook is strangely quiet on their way to Jimin’s stall and when Jimin glances back, Jungkook’s eyes are fixed on their joined hands.

“Uh sorry” Jimin immediately unclasps their fingers.

Jungkook looks up, his arm falling to his side. His eyes are wide in his face, lips parted, eyebrows high. He appears lost, searching again, pleading for something undefinable.

Jungkook has disappeared for a week. There are no texts and he doesn’t come to the market, doesn’t arrive to help out in the farm. Jimin gets a little worried and calls his phone to check if he is okay. Jungkook neither picks his call nor does he answer Jimin’s single text.

It is on the Tuesday following that week, in the market, that Jimin finally sees him.

“Kookie, what a charming quaint place” the tall stunning man walking next to Jungkook is telling him. Jimin rolls his eyes. The man is hanging off Jungkook’s arm as he takes in everything. Jimin feels a prickle of irritation and a lot of anger. They are slowly walking towards his stall, not stopping anywhere else. Jimin straightens. Jungkook had ignored him all week and now he is sauntering with another person as if he has no care in the world.

They stop in front of his stall. “Mingyu, this is Jimin. Jimin, Mingyu”

“Nice to meet you Jimin. Kookie has been talking about your vegetables all week long. I’ve never seen him so enamoured with....” He pauses meaningfully. “ …..vegetables.” He chokes, when Jungkook elbows him.

“Nice to meet you too” Jimin answers, somehow conjuring up a smile. He is curious, but also simmering in fury. And that immobilizes him

Jungkook ignores him after that and he and Mingyu converse among themselves, choosing vegetables. Jimin ignores him in turn, completely silent. Finally unable to bear the tension,  he crouches and  runs a hand over Smelly’s head and ears. He is feeling petty and needs to vent.

“Do you want a cookie, Smelly?” Jimin croons. “Of course, you don’t. You have better taste than that”

Jungkook narrows his eyes. Did he just....?

“I knew you were a girl after my own heart. No cookies for us”.

Yeah he did all right.

“As if” Jungkook says

“As if …? What?”

“As if you could”

“Not everything is about you Jungkook” he shoots back

“I never said it is? I didn’t say my name, you did” Jungkook counters with a superior inflection in his tone.

Mingyu stands by watching the both of them with faint puzzlement and Jimin does not want to draw this out in front of a virtual stranger.

Fine, fine, if this is how Jungkook wants to play.

Jimin maintains a grim silence until both of them leave with their purchase. There’s a hole in the middle of his chest that is growing bigger by the second. Jungkook avoids his eyes, and he is careful not to let their skin touch when handing the bag over to Jungkook.

He only realizes after they are gone that he has forgotten to tender change. He walks in the direction they had left and when he hears a voice that he recognizes, floating faintly, he stops.

“What’s going on between you and that farmer?”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know. I sensed something between you two”

“I just buy produce from him” Jungkook answers dismissively

“Kookie, please be honest at least to yourself. You were talking about his farm and pets all week along while you were back home”

“So? It’s just a novelty to me. I have never met a farmer before and certainly not one who keeps a pet duck”

They are at the edge of the market now and Jungkook is clogged with irritation at his friend’s interrogation.

“Are you really not interested in him?” Mingyu, stops him with a hand on his back.

“Interested? In him?”

“Kookie….”

“No, really Mingyu. Can you see me and Jimin together? It would be hilarious. He lives in the middle of nowhere and he names everything like it’s a fucking Disney movie. How gauche is that?”

“Listen….”

“No, you listen Mingyu. You have seen the people I date and you think Jimin even compares?

Mingyu clears his throat. “Kookie, please just stop” he whispers.

“Wha….”

“Jimin. Hi!  Did you want something” Mingyu’s voice is extra loud and bright.

 Jungkook spins around and Jimin is standing a few feet behind him, his face ashen.

“I..I forgot to give back your change”, Jimin's voice wobbles a little.

Mingyu hurries forward to take the money.

“Jimin…What was said….he didn’t mean…” Mingyu stammers.

“I don’t know what you are talking about. I just arrived” Jimin replies, schooling his features into a neutral expression “I’ll get going now. I cannot leave my stall unattended”. Jimin walks away, the swift walk of a person leaving something behind.

Jungkook stands rock still, frozen with shock and indecision.

“You blockhead” Mingyu says with utter disdain.

Mingyu left early in the morning in a flurry of suggestions and disappointment.

Jungkook sits in front of his blank canvas and squares his shoulders. He has been mixing oil colours all morning, readying his palette. He has set the canvas in the tiny back garden. Jungkook was finally inspired enough to try painting and had left to bring his painting paraphernalia from his apartment in the city. He stayed longer than he had planned, caught up in meeting friends and the glitter of the city. The glitter faded at the end of five days, and he felt compelled to return to the trees and the fireflies of the night.

But he also carried a strange kind of fear back with him. It whispered in his ear, asking him to not to get too close. It told him, that this was not his real life. His real life belonged to the city, to detachment. Not to Jimin, no. He had been afraid, like a little child, of the unknown. What if all these feelings he had for Jimin, hurt him? It was strange and wondrous.

And so he had acted out, thrown a tantrum, seeking to deflect the fear. What he did not expect was to feel Jimin’s pain much sharper than his own.

Jungkook’s eyes alight on the property to his left at regular intervals. It cuts into his concentration and he gives up, kicking at the canvas stand childishly. 

He has not been able to focus on anything since the incident with Jimin, the day before yesterday. He worked extra hard on his body, doing pull ups from the sunshade until he couldn’t feel his arms, seeking to dispel the conflict and restlessness from his mind. His abdominal muscles are sore from pushing too hard, making its presence known with every breath. Nothing works.

You were never a coward.

The following day is market day, and Jungkook knows he should go and maybe set some wrongs right. The canvas stands devoid of colour under the night sky, as Jungkook sleeps fitfully.

Jungkook gnaws at his bottom lip and watches. Jimin is sitting with his chin on the palm of his hand, eyes ahead with an unfocused dreamy lilt. He bops his head once in a while, to an unknown beat. His own words from that day runs through his mind and Jungkook is appalled. He knows he is cocky and he may take things for granted sometimes, but he never sets out to be rude or hurt anyone. His friends groan at him and tease him, because he makes a success of everything, he tries his hand at. Art, sports, music, and now in assholery. He wills himself several times to move and each time courage fails him. He doesn’t know how to face Jimin.

He takes a step.

One step, two steps, three steps…..

Jimin looks at Jungkook advancing towards him and turns his head ever so slightly, and fiddles with his phone. Jungkook almost falters, then walks with determination. He must complete this. Jimin sets his phone aside on his arrival. “What would you like?” he asks in a formal tone, bereft of the usual warmth.

For the second time that day, Jungkook falters. “uh. Five lemons and …” he starts tentatively

“Sorry, the lemons are reserved”

“Reserved?”

“Yes”

Jungkook waits for an explanation but none is forthcoming. Jimin of two days back would have explained. He wouldn’t have even reserved the lemons in the first place. Whom is it reserved for?

“Anything else? There’s okra if you like. My first batch”. Jimin treats him with detachment and Jungkook burns with an ache low in his belly.

“Jimin. I uh. I’m sorry” he says thickly.

“What are you sorry for?” Jimin asks as if he is genuinely puzzled.

It must be an act.

“I didn’t think before I spoke.. that day” Jungkook’s palms are now sweaty. “I was afraid”

“That has nothing to do with me.”

Jungkook does not know how to react to that. He busies himself choosing vegetables, hedging for more time. The lemons sit in the bamboo basket accusingly. His hand hovers over them for a moment. He thinks for a wild moment to grab the lemons, just to get a reaction out of Jimin.

“Jimin… Can we talk? About what I said to Mingyu on Saturday?” Jungkook’s voice drops an octave, his words guarded.

A scornful regard settles over Jimin’s pretty features. Jungkook has never seen Jimin’s features take on something so harsh. “There is nothing to talk about Jungkook. If you could buy whatever it is you want quickly? I have customers waiting”.

Jungkook sees two people out of the corner of his eye. One of them reaches for the lemons and Jimin doesn’t say anything. Jungkook’s throat goes tight.

“I’ll come back later.”

“I rather you do not.” Though the words are faint, they carry poison. Enough to deter the searching and pleading for something undefinable.

Jungkook goes knocking on Jimin’s door at eight in the evening that same day. Jimin opens the door, steps out and folds his arms across his abdomen. Smelly comes running with an excited bark and Jungkook bends down to greet her, not able to face Jimin directly.

“Jungkook?”

The sound of his name spoken so carefully makes him want to explode in a rush of emotions. He stands, a pitiful feeling of rejection rising in his chest, and he has to admit how screwed he is.

“Please allow me to explain.” he pleads.

“Are we back to this again?” Jimin sighs. “I told you, there is nothing to talk about.”

“Why are you like this with me then? If its nothing, why are you freezing me out?”

“Would it matter? No, you know what? Don’t answer that” Jimin spits.

“It matters” Jungkook reaches out and wraps his fingers around his shoulder. Jimin flinches at his touch and moves away. “Jimin, please tell me how to make this okay”

“I don’t care. Don’t spend any more time worrying, Jungkook. You have done nothing to me.”

Jungkook draws closer. “Please don’t say that.”

Jimin shakes his head and channels his gaze to the side.” Don’t you get it? I don’t care if you are sorry. I don’t care if you don’t like me. I don’t care if you like me. I don’t care if you want to talk. I don’t care”. His tone is even and calm, low even.

Jungkook feels something splinter within him. “I cannot stand your indifference” he whispers.

“I should send your friend a thank you note.”

Jungkook flinches, hand coming up as if to grasp Jimin.

“It’s time for you to go” Jimin steps back and closes the door on his face.

Jimin is still thinking about Jungkook while working on his land two days later. As much as he tries to be indifferent, he is not as unaffected as he had portrayed. The cruel words run through his mind, round and round. Jimin’s jaw clenches and he becomes aware of a throbbing pain in his chest. It is laughable that he had thought that, he and Jungkook, were becoming friends. The camaraderie, which he had considered to be special now crumbles into nothingness. Jungkook’s fumbling attempts at apologizing strangely makes the whole ordeal worse. Seeing him, brings back the sharp words and it cuts him afresh every time. He doesn’t understand what there is to talk about. How could Jungkook explain it away? Jungkook’s disregard and callousness for him are as clear as the day. He owes Jungkook’s friend for opening his eyes. The physical labour helps keep away the focus of his mind to some extent and he is as always thankful to the earth underneath his feet. Jimin won’t have much time to mope or fall into self pity after he returns home either. His friend, Sungwoon is visiting him today and he is really looking forward to it.

Jimin decides to return home early and start on dinner, since Sungwoon is arriving at six in the evening. On his way home, he picks a few strands of lemon grass, and leaves from his lemon tree for the Thai Green curry, Sungwoon’s favourite dish.

The door bell rings at the same moment Jimin is adding coconut milk to the fragrant ground spices. Smelly runs to the door, excited whines leaving her throat. Goose follows at a more cautious pace. Jimin opens the door and is swept into the arms of his friend. He laughs and detangles himself to look at Sungwoon at arm’s length. Sungwoon is wearing a graphic T Shirt, distressed jeans and his over long hair is twisted up into a man bun. Sungwoon drops to his knees to cuddle the excited Smelly.

“You look good. Only you can carry that man bun” Jimin smiles fondly at his bent head.

“So do you Minie. Farming really suits you. Your thighs, wow” he says, eyes on level with his thighs.

“Right?” Jimin was always muscled especially from dancing, but he lost much of the muscle tone during his lawyer days.

“I’m guessing this is Goose?” Sungwoon points to the duck waddling restlessly a few feet away.

“Yeah. Give him a little time and soon he will be pecking at your legs.”

“Charming.”

They settle in the kitchen drinking red wine and talking as Jimin finishes preparing dinner. Jimin tells him about Jungkook without trying to go too much into detail. Sungwoon stares at him, all humour gone from his expression.

“I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“I can’t get a good read on him. He was cocky at first and then friendly and warm, then ignored me, and the latest? Insulting me. I even thought he was flirting with me just before he ignored me for a week”

Sungwoon drops his hands on his shoulders. “I don’t want to see this guy messing with your head, whether he knows he’s messing with it or not”

Jimin drops his head and whispers. “Why else do you think I begged you to come over? I need to keep my feet on the ground.”

Sungwoon squeezes his shoulder encouragingly and leans into him, his forehead almost touching Jimin’s. “Listen, I know last year sucked for you with your jerk of an ex, your mother passing away and I know how difficult it is to find a guy who’s right for you. Do not sell yourself short just because an asshole said a few words about you. This Jungkook knows nothing about you. It’s his loss.”

Jimin gives a half-hearted smile rests his forehead completely on Sungwoon’s. He’s about to respond when he hears Smelly bark and footsteps round into the kitchen, behind his back.

“Is everything okay, Jimin?” Someone calls out

He knows its Jungkook without even turning around, his voice deep and a little growly. Sungwoon looks over Jimin’s shoulder as Jimin closes his eyes, almost in pain.

This was going to be impossible.

No one answered his knock or the single ring of doorbell, so Jungkook tries the knob and let himself in. He calls out softly and does not get any response. He hears murmurs from the kitchen. Smelly comes barreling at him and he pats her head distractedly. He thought he heard his name and walks silently to the kitchen. Some  stranger is resting his hands on Jimin’s shoulders and their faces are so close together that he thinks with a vicious spike of twisted feelings that they are kissing. Is he the ex, Jimin had fleetingly mentioned? Is he someone Jimin met recently?

Jungkook does not like it. He is surprised at the force of his dislike. He wants to tear them apart.  

“Is everything okay, Jimin?” he asks, refusing to watch another minute and tries to contain the growl in his voice. Jimin’s shoulders sag and the stranger positions himself protectively in front of Jimin. Jungkook feels jealousy and possessiveness vibrate low in his chest.

“I’ve heard a lot about you” the man says, sans smile.

Jimin has still not turned around. Jungkook needs to see him. “Jimin?”

Jimin turns around slowly then. “What are you doing here Jungkook?”. There’s resignation in his voice.

“I-I came to see you. To try to explain”

“Save it” the stranger snaps.

“Who the fuck are you?” Jungkook narrows his eyes, unable to conceal his annoyance at this stranger in between him and Jimin.

“I’m someone who knows and values Jimin. Can’t say the same of you”

“Don’t presume to know anything about me or how I feel about Jimin” Jungkook sets his jaw, furious.

“I know enough, asshole”

“Listen you fucker…”

“That’s enough, guys!” Jimin yells, startling the both of them. “Sungwoon, please.” He pulls the stranger back and faces Jungkook eyes blazing. “What do you think you are doing? You think you can barge into my life whenever you want? You toss me around like a fucking football. The fuck you think you are?”

“Jimin I was wrong...”

“Get the fuck out”

“I’m not leaving without asking for your forgiveness, without making you see that I did not mean a word of what I said. I’m so sorry” Jungkook counters stubbornly.

“He asked you to leave” the stranger steps forward.

“Sungwoon, not now” Jimin pinches the bridge of his nose. “I think you didn’t hear me the first time, Jungkook. I don’t care. Now, get out” he all but shouts.

Jungkook is stricken. “I’ll leave. But Jimin, this isn’t over” he says with determination.

Jungkook's whole heart aches on the way home and there’s a pressure building behind his eyes. He has hurt Jimin and it makes him sick. Oh god, I cannot start crying.

This was going to be impossible.

Sungwoon left after two days. He had extended his stay by one day despite Jimin’s protests. Jimin is secretly thankful. There’s an email from Jungkook sitting in his inbox, that he has resisted opening thus far. Jungkook has not attempted to see him or even text him. Fortified with a glass of wine, and in Goose’s company, he clicks on the email.

Jimin,

I do not know how or where to start my apology. I’m sorry that I ever said those things about you. It’s completely untrue and I said it in the heat of the moment because I was afraid of what I was feeling for you. It’s no excuse. I’m a colossal asshole. You are wonderful, Jimin. You probably don’t care either way about my feelings, but I want you to know that you are one of the best people in my life. I was prejudiced at the beginning thinking I was too good for this town, for you. I admit that.

That week, I was away to get my canvas and paints because I was feeling inspired by this place, by Smelly, Goose, your lemon tree. You. I was afraid and a coward for ignoring your messages and not letting you know I was leaving for a week.

I wish I could go back in time and punch the Jungkook of those moments. I hope you give me a chance to make it up to you. If you choose not to, then I’ll consider it my misfortune. I don’t deserve a chance, but I need it. This is my desperate attempt to get it. I cannot sleep knowing I have hurt you.

Hate me, but please don’t ignore me. I cannot bear your indifference.

Jungkook

Jimin reads it twice before his vision blurs with unshed tears. He had not cried even on that awful day. To reply or not to reply? Afraid. Jungkook used that two times in the email. What is he afraid of? He makes up his mind over that twice used word.

Okay. A one-word reply.

Not even fifteen minutes after he had hit send, his doorbell rings. He goes with a churning stomach to the door. His emotions are still raw from the heartfelt email and he suspects it is Jungkook. Nevertheless, he forgets to breathe when he opens the door to reveal Jungkook panting, with his hands over his knees.

“Jungkook! Its eleven in the night.”

“I-I had to” he gasps. A lock of hair falls over his forehead and he suddenly looks very young.

“Did you run all the way here?”

Jungkook ignores his question. “Does this mean you will give me a chance?” Jungkook points to the one-word email from Jimin, open on his phone.

Jimin almost smiles. Jungkook looks earnest and so very young.  

“Yes”

Jungkook darts forward and captures his hands. He presses a kiss on his knuckles. “Thank you”

Jimin’s stomach swarms with butterflies at the soft press of his lips. He draws his hands back with a jerk.

“Is it….Is it the guy I saw that day? Are you both…?” Jungkook asks, wounded.

“What? Sungwoon? No, he’s one of my closest friends. It’s ridiculous that….”

Jungkook’s face blurs and his lips are on his, cutting off his words. Jungkook’s hands fist in his hair, pulling him closer. His own are clenched on his sides. Shock and surprise makes him gasp into the sweet chaste kiss and his lips part. Jungkook applies more pressure and his breathing grows laboured.  Jungkook’s lips are warm and soft, smooth like silk against him and powerful like a body blow. Jungkook pushes his tongue between Jimin’s lips and groans, the soft sound shooting straight to Jimin’s groin. An answering whimper breaks from his lips, a betrayal, a reflex of his body that his mind cannot forgive. He tears his lips away and pushes Jungkook back, a little too hard.

“Jungkook. What is this? Don’t fuck around with my emotions.”

“I’m not”. Jungkook’s eyes are wide and he clasps his hands in front of him.

“You can’t kiss me like that. Tomorrow you will wake up and blame me, and think that I’m an embarrassment. You asked for a chance to make it up to me. Because the next time you play with my feelings, I will fucking end you. I don’t suffer fools.”

“I know what I’m doing Jimin. This is me making my feelings clear to you. I like you. Romantically. Sexually. Platonically.”

“Don’t ---"

“You will never be an embarrassment. I was afraid of my feelings for you. I was caught up in my fear like a coward and ignored you and said those unforgivable things about you” Jungkook whispers.

“I’m not afraid anymore. I want this. I want you. Do.. Do you maybe want to give me a chance? A chance not just for me to make it up to you but a chance on someone like me. I won’t let you down Jimin.”

“You think you are interested because I’m now a challenge to you” Jimin says sceptically.

“That’s not true. It’s you, that I like, not a perceived representation of you.”

“What will you do when the excitement runs out? Run away? Humiliate me? Relationships are hard work. Do you even want a relationship? Can you commit?” Jimin knows he is harsh, but he needs to make it clear to Jungkook. “Let me tell you something about being used, about having a person you care about play with you because they are too fucked up to find out what they want and stick to it”

Jungkook shakes his head. “I was confused and conflicted. It was also me figuring things out. I would never play with your feelings. I may not understand what’s happening to me, but I’m honest”. He takes a deep breath. “I want a relationship. With you. Only you. I know I cannot convince you that I’m serious but I will show you. Give me time. I hope you can change your mind about me.”

Jimin is silent for a beat before he speaks. “We will have to take it slow.”

“Anything, anything you want”. Jungkook nods frantically and reaches for him.

Jimin backs up and holds up a hand. “So slow, that you will have to leave right now.”

Jungkook face falls. “Okay”

okay okay okay okay his mind chants, like an echo.

Goose pecks Jungkook sharply on the soft underside of his arm. Jungkook is trying to tie a ribbon with a note around Goose’s neck and Goose isn’t having it. “Oww. You are evil.” He pauses and looks at his tormentor. “Don’t tell Jimin I said that.”

It is worth it when Jimin calls him over phone on discovery of the note on Goose. Jungkook hears Jimin’s smile in his words. “Goose ran into the shower with me and the note got soaked. I couldn’t read some of the words”

“But did you really write a love note about my ass?" Jimin asks, huffing with laughter.

“Why is it funny? You have the best ass” Jungkook sulks.

More laughter.

Jungkook enjoys wooing Jimin. He thinks he enjoys it more than even Jimin does, getting wooed. Jimin is very cautious at first, which is understandable considering what Jungkook had done. Jungkook is more than fine with that. He feels like he has all the time in the world. He wants to woo Jimin for the longest time.

He paints a little, helps Jimin in his farm and goes for long walks alone. He realizes that he likes the solitude. Jimin allows him to take Smelly with him sometimes on his walks. He likes working side by side with Jimin, content with silence.

“Why did you name her “Smelly”?” Jungkook dares to ask one day. He has avoided the question since his careless words about Disney movies and Jimin. “I mean she doesn’t smell bad. It’s just the doggy smell.”

“When I was six, I called all my favourite things “Smelly”, out of affection. Like my truck, my stuffed whale, the cat next door even though it had another name, my favourite book.  It was an odd quirk of mine and my parents always teased me about it” Jimin answers with a shy smile. “And she is my best goodest girl.”  Jungkook immediately smooshes his cheeks, glad that he is free to do it.

He fucks up too. Jungkook ends one fight by dragging Jimin up against his chest. “Please don’t give up on me.” The fights are mostly about Jungkook clamming up and Jimin freezing him out at the first hint of trouble.

One night, as they are eating dinner that Jungkook cooked, the topic of his stay comes up. “We will figure it out, Jimin. Let’s just enjoy this.” Jungkook reassures him.

When Jimin is getting ready to leave, Jungkook crowds him against the wall and starts to kiss him slow and sweet, a gentle brush of lips. It takes seconds for the kiss to escalate with Jimin responding enthusiastically. Jungkook feels Jimin’s hands trail over his shoulder and neck to wind in his hair. Jungkook releases Jimin’s lips to leave a trail of smouldering kisses down his neck and shoulder. He breathes deeply of his scent, a heady mix of aftershave, earth, sunshine and the scent of lemons. Jimin hisses and Jungkook smiles into his skin before capturing his mouth again. He moves his hands to cup his ass and pulls him against his erection.

“Who taught you to kiss?” Jimin moans against his lips.

“I’m a natural” he says, smug. “I’m good at everything.”

“You are insufferable.”

“I know. Thank goodness for your good, kind heart” he winks.

Jimin rolls his eyes. “Remind me again why I agreed to this.”

Jungkook opens his mouth to speak and Jimin slaps a hand over his lips. “No. Don’t. I had enough. I want to sleep well tonight.”

“Jimiiiiiiinnnn” Jungkook whines into the palm of his hand. Jimin shuts him up with a quick kiss.

Jungkook comes to know the caliber of Jimin’s will, his calm, his firmness, his strength. He is halfway in love with this man and he didn’t care that it was too soon to say it aloud. It beat through his blood just the same.

He brings Jimin to the city, to his apartment, one weekend with Smelly in tow. They leave a disgruntled Goose behind. Jimin frets a little over leaving him behind and even Jungkook misses the ornery bastard. They go out for dinner and drinks with his close friends. Jungkook keeps a reassuring hand on Jimin throughout dinner. He was a little worried but he needn’t have been. It starts out a little awkward as any meeting with a bunch of strangers would go. They all loosen up over drinks and Jimin charms the socks out of everyone with his grace, his excellent manners and humour. His friends are fascinated that he left a successful career to farm. Jimin tells them and growing his own food and food for others is one of the more rewarding things he has done and that he doesn’t regret it. He wants to live on this earth as gently as possible. Jungkook is so so proud.

They decide to go to a club with a few of Jungkook’s friends from dinner. Jimin also calls two of his friends.

Jungkook is poleaxed, watching him dance at the club.

“Ballet”

“Okay”

“And dance”

“hmmm”

“Contemporary”

“Fuck me” Jungkook says with feeling.

“Later” Jimin smirks and Jungkook wants to leave right away. 

“I’m not leaving anytime soon. I’ve come clubbing after ages, no way i’m leaving even to make out with you” Jimin bops Jungkook’s nose. Jungkook sighs and retires to a corner for a breather.

He feels an irrational jealousy rise in him, when Jimin dances with his friends. He stands in a corner glowering at them. Did Alex really have to place his hands on Jimin’s waist?

“He is so sweet” Alex says a little breathlessly on his break from dancing.

“Yeah?” Jungkook asks sourly.

“He dances like a dream.”

“Maybe keep your hands to yourself?” he snips.

Alex chortles. “You are jealous.”

Jungkook snorts and turns his gaze back to Jimin. There’s a stranger inching his way behind Jimin. Fuck that. I don’t think so. He strides forward, pushing his way in. Jimin sees him approaching and smiles, a stunning pretty smile. Jungkook’s heart stops and at the same time possessiveness kick starts it back. He cups Jimin's face and kisses him, right on that smile before glaring at the man trying to get closer to Jimin.

“Back the fuck up, will you?” he says through gritted teeth. Jimin is amused and chuckles. Jungkook is glad that Jimin is a little tipsy, because he is sure that sober Jimin would cut him into little pieces at this display. Jimin throws his arms around him and they exchange heady kisses, swaying a little, not really dancing. They don’t separate for the rest of the night.   

Hours later, they go home and collapse onto the bed. Jimin makes him change his clothes and brush his teeth. “C’mon, I won’t sleep next to alcohol breath” he says, when Jungkook complains sleepily. It’s the first time they are sleeping in one bed together and Jungkook is out even before Jimin switches off the light and pulls the covers over them.

Jungkook wakes next to Jimin. They had forgotten to draw the curtains and the rays of the early sun slant into the room, and on to the bed. Jimin is on his side, facing him, a fist smooshed under his chin. He traces Jimin’s features with his eyes and reaches to stroke one cheek lightly, right where a gentle ray of the early sun rests. Jimin’s eyes flutter open and his gaze is a little unfocused before he smiles. He scoots closer to Jungkook and goes to kiss him.

“Stop. My breath stinks.”

“So does mine.”

“Wow, we are ready to exchange stinky breaths. We have made it” Jungkook says half teasing, half serious.

“Yeah, we have” Jimin confirms softly before rubbing his nose against Jungkook’s.  

Jungkook drops his eyes, the intimacy of the moment almost more than he could bear and whispers “I love you…”

Jimin says nothing and instead kisses him tenderly, running gentle fingers down his spine.

It is enough for now.

Ever since Jungkook dropped the bomb, the words were running in Jimin’s mind. Part of him wonders if he should believe it. Jungkook doesn’t bring it up again, not even the two times they make love. Their first time is a bit awkward, movements hesitant, mostly due to Jimin holding back. But there’s joy too, an unsurmountable joy that takes hold and refuses to leave. The second time, Jimin is less inhibited and it lends a little more ease to everything. If Jungkook senses that Jimin is holding back, he says nothing.

Jungkook spends more time painting. He goes into a zone for hours every day. He does little sketches too, of life around him and Jimin secretly stashes away the ones of Smelly and Goose. They share at least one meal every day, taking turns to cook. Their lives intertwine effortlessly. Two separate parts, finally becoming whole.

Jimin wakes one day to a sore throat and headache. He knows it’s a bad sign, Ever since he could remember, sore throat had always lead to a fever of some sort. He was supposed to go over to Jungkook’s for breakfast. He sends a quick text stating that he won’t be able to make it. Jungkook calls him immediately.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“I don’t feel too well Jungkook. I’m going to stay in bed for a while more.”

“hmmm. Okay.”

Jungkook hangs up quickly and Jimin is disappointed at the abrupt end to the conversation. He sighs and turns into his pillow. Smelly climbs up on bed and he allows it, feeling too sick and depressed to push her off. He places a few calls to his farm hands about the work to be done for the day and then lies back down in relief. His body heats up as he dozes and he doesn’t hear the door bell until Smelly barks. He drags himself to open and door, his eyes hot and vision hazy.

“I’m sorry I took a while” Jungkook says as he enters inside. Jimin’s nose is running and he wipes it on his sleeve.

“What are you doing here?” Jimin is dazed. He leans against the table as Jungkook does not answer and bustles into the kitchen to place a dish on the counter.

Jungkook hurries back to Jimin and leads him to the bedroom. He sits Jimin down on the bed and rummages in his closet for fresh clothes. Jungkook then helps him change, with quick efficient movements, and gets him settled in bed. Jimin feels so sick that he allows everything meekly. Jimin is off antibiotics for five years now and Jungkook knows it. Jungkook spoon feeds him a bowl of soup, coaxing him to finish when Jimin demurs. He follows it up with a paracetamol and cold compress on Jimin’s forehead. Jimin half sleeps through most of the day in a feverish daze and Jungkook takes his temperature at even intervals and notes it down. When the fever shows no sign of abating, Jungkook bundles him up in the pickup truck and takes him to the doctor. The doctor confirms that it is an infection and prescribes three full days in bed, and a dose of antibiotics.

“I could have told you this myself minus the antibiotics” Jimin jokes weakly, at home. Jungkook tries to negotiate with him about the antibiotics and Jimin agrees to take it if his temperature crosses 103 degree Celsius.

“I’m not going to wait for you to hit that temperature, Jimin. That’s too high. Don’t be absurd”

“You are not the boss of me” Jimin fires back.

“If you can argue with me, then you must be getting better. I liked it when you were meek”

Jimin throws a wadded-up tissue at him, which of course, Jungkook catches, the fucker.

The following two nights are bad. His fever peaks in the evening, body aching all over. Jungkook massages his back and legs and stays up most of the night comforting him, helping him to the bathroom when required. He has to go often because of all the liquids Jungkook makes him drink. Jungkook refuses to let Jimin close the bathroom door and Jimin obliges, too sick at nights to be embarrassed. His fever breaks a little, early morning on the third day and he wakes up to find Jungkook dozing beside him, sitting up against the headboard. He feels a rush of tenderness for him. Jungkook must have been running ragged over the two days. Jimin almost wishes he had taken the antibiotics and spared Jungkook of all the trouble.

“You are awake.” Jungkook places a hand over his forehead.

“You shouldn’t be in bed with me. I don’t want you to catch the infection” Jimin croaks, voice rusty.

“I won’t. And if I do, won’t you take care of me?” he asks with a teasing grin.

“I’m sorry for the trouble.”

“Are you going to say sorry every time I take care of you? Because that means a lot of sorrys for a long time”

Jimin peeks at Jungkook’s face, but his eyes are closed, and a faint smile adorns his lips. He cannot make out if Jungkook is serious or joking.

“Your fever seems to have has gone down. How is your back and joints?” Jungkook asks, caressing his hair.

Jimin stretches and smiles. “Much better.”

Jungkook stays with him for four more days, until he is absolutely sure that Jimin has recovered completely. He only goes because he has to travel to the city to meet the owner of a gallery to discuss his upcoming art exhibition. He had postponed the meeting as much as possible.

Jimin is glad to be back to his land. He misses Jungkook fiercely. His absence makes him realize how much Jimin relies on him. He is a little afraid of the dependence, wondering if he could bear it if Jungkook leaves.  It is nothing huge, but the little things made his life easier and sweeter. Nothing huge, but life-altering at the same time. Sometimes Jimin wonders how his life was before it became enmeshed in Jungkook’s. It appears to be a distant memory.

They facetime every day. Jungkook’s show is going to open in a month’s time and he is very excited.

“Jimin, my lease on the cottage will expire soon” Jungkook tells him on one of the calls.

Jimin stiffens, afraid of where this could go.

“I’m thinking of renewing it…” Jungkook says tentatively.

“You are?”

“Why do you sound so surprised? Don’t you want us to be together?”

“I do. But your apartment in the city, your life there…. I don’t know if I can ask you to leave that..”

“Ask me then”

“What?”

“Ask me, Jimin. I’m putting my heart out in the open for you”. Jungkook looks vulnerable.

“Jungkook…” he falters and stops.

“Take your time” Jungkook says quietly in the ensuing silence.

“Jungkook, would you… Do you want to…stay…..”

“I would love to” Jungkook says firmly. Immediately.

Jimin is emboldened by that. “Maybe…after the second period of lease is over, you could move in with me?”

“Jimin, I thought you would never ask” he replies huskily. “I will only wait till the lease period is over, for your comfort. I’m ready to move in today.”

“I’m ready too Jungkook. But..isn’t it too soon? What if you regret it?”

“Fuck that, Jimin. We do this when we are both comfortable. This is our relationship and we make the rules. Nothing is too soon or too late. Everything else is noise.”

“I can’t wait for you to be back” Jimin’s throat chokes up with emotion.

Jungkook returns eight days later. He goes straight to Jimin’s house and when Jimin opens the door, he fists his hand in Jungkook’s shirt and pulls Jungkook in. He stops a centimetre away from Jungkook’s lips, and asks “Are you tired?”

“No.”

That is all Jimin needs to hear. He pecks Jungkook quickly and drags him by his shirt to the bedroom. Jungkook laughs “Someone is eager.” 

Jimin pushes Jungkook to sit on the bed and climbs over him. He brackets Jungkook’s hips with his thighs and crosses his ankles behind his back.

“Stop talking and do your job.” Jimin says gripping a hand in his hair and pulling lightly.

“Oh, it’s my job now is it.”

“To make me come screaming in the next ten minutes? Too fucking right it’s your job.”

Jungkook looks slightly astonished and lot more starry eyed. He pushes beneath the smooth fabric of Jimin’s pants and curls his fingers around each cheek, holding him in place while he rubs their cocks together. Jimin kisses him full mouthed, breath hitching over very drag of their cocks. Jungkook leans back a little and presses his finger against Jimin’s lips. “Suck it”

Panting harshly, Jimin takes his long finger into his mouth and sucks on it, like how he would suck Jungkook’s cock. They stare at each other and Jimin holds his gaze as he releases his finger with a pop. Jungkook groans, his cock plumping up more in his pants.

“I’m so hard” he whispers. He removes Jimin’s hand from his shoulder and brings it down. “Feel that? You drive me fucking crazy.”

Jungkook lowers his hand inside Jimin’s pants, and presses his wet finger against his crevice. Jimin hangs suspended for a second. “Yes, there” he gasps. “Please. Put it in”

Jungkook taps his finger against Jimin’s hole, massaging it with until it pulses around his finger, sucking the tip in. “Jungkook, c’mon. Stop fucking around.”

“Careful” Jungkook warns, but Jimin is too far gone. Bracing his hands on Jungkook’s shoulders, he pushes down on the finger and then back up, riding it. He moans as Jungkook’s finger grazes his prostrate. “Jungkook, get the lube. I want to come around your cock”

Jimin lifts off his lap and undresses while Jungkook rummages in the drawer for the lube. Jungkook manages to lose his pants on the way to the bed. Jimin snatches the lube out of his hands and dumps a generous amount over his fingers. Jungkook lays on the bed unbuttoning his shirt with nerveless fingers. Jimin climbs over him once more, and Jungkook seems to have lost all coordination at the sight of Jimin reaching back to finger himself. Jungkook manages to unbutton the last one and his shirt falls open to his sides. He starts to tell Jimin to turn around, so that he could prepare him but his words stop when he feels lube slathered on his bare dick. Jimin fumbles to get Jungkook’s dick in position, but using his non-dominant hand was proving to be a problem. “Help me” he grits with need.

Jungkook’s whole body lights up at the look on his face and he loses what little control and astonishment he had and surges into a sitting position. He wraps one arm around Jimin’s waist to hold him in place and uses the other hand to guide his dick to Jimin’s hole, as Jimin lifts his hips.

“Yes yes yes” Jimin cries as his body begins sucking his dick in. Every small lift of his hips has him sinking down farther onto Jungkook. Jungkook seeks his lips, more breathing against him than kissing him. Jungkook’s shirt sticks to his back.

“Fuck me” Jimin pants against his mouth just as he slams his body down on Jungkook and then grinds his pelvis against Jungkook’s hips and groin. He closes his hands around Jungkook’s neck to steady himself when Jungkook grips his ass cheeks apart and thrusts into him. Jungkook falls back on the bed, tilting Jimin with him. He wants to see Jimin’s cock and balls bouncing as Jimin rides his cock. Jimin is slick with sweat, staring at him with unfocused eyes. They stay still for a moment, with Jungkook buried in him. Jungkook hitches little movements into him slowly driving both of them to the brink. Pre-come beads on the tip of Jimin’s cock and Jungkook reaches a finger and swipes at his tip and draws it back to his mouth. A string of pre-come trails between Jimin’s cock and Jungkook’s finger, and Jimin whines at the sight. Jungkook sucks at his finger, still moving a little inside Jimin.

“Stroke yourself, Jimin” His voice is breathy and high. “I want you to come on my dick. Please” Jimin hurries to wrap a hand around his cock and pulls at it, his eyes closed. He loves this, the feel of Jungkook’s cock hard and heavy inside him. He feels so full that he tries to clench his throbbing hole around Jungkook’s cock, to amplify it. His lips part to exhale harshly through his mouth and he cups his own balls and rolls them around softly.

“Jimin, baby” Jungkook pants and Jimin snaps his eyes open. Jungkook looks a little desperate. “I need you to come. I can’t hold on much longer.” Jungkook wraps his hand around Jimin’s cock and starts to thrust up again. Jimin tries to move, but Jungkook has one hand around his waist in a firm hold. Jimin loves how strong Jungkook is. It excites him, inflames him. He feels a tingling sensation up his spine and he knows he is about to come. 

Hot jets of semen hit Jungkook’s stomach and Jimin groans his name in a guttural tone, head thrown back. And then it happens, with Jimin whispering his name, he orgasms into Jimin, flooding him with semen. Jungkook continues to pump through each aftershock. As the tremors begins to ease, Jungkook reaches beneath him and gently pushes a finger into Jimin’s body. Jimin moans at the added pressure and leans down to kiss him. Jungkook moves his finger in a gentle slow motion into his come and feels his dick harden inside of Jimin. He removes his finger and thrusts up gently. Jimin meets him with a slow twist of the hips.

“Are you okay to go again?” Jungkook asks in concern.

“Jungkook, I need you to fuck your come out of me” Jimin says, panting.

Jungkook rolls over and slips out for just a moment to position Jimin’s legs around his waist. Jimin feels come leaking out of his hole. “Hold on, hold on” Jungkook chants as he pushes back in in one go, his come easing the way. He links their hands together and starts a slow rocking motion, his lips hovering over Jimin’s, close enough that he seemed to drink in every sound Jimin makes.

“I love you…” Jungkook says before slipping his tongue into his mouth, making love to it, the same way he was doing with his body. They come nearly at the same time, the rush of heat flooding Jimin’s insides. Jimin tightens his legs around Jungkook to hold him inside him. “Not yet” he says when Jungkook tries to move. But Jimin’s legs tire soon and he lowers them, his knees grazing against Jungkook’s shirt.

“I love you too” Jimin says shyly. Jungkook’s eyes sparkle with joy and he slips out of Jimin to hold Jimin's thighs up with his arms. He watches his come trickle out of Jimin.

“Don't look” Jimin whines in embarrassment and tries to close his knees. Jungkook ignores him and leans down to kiss Jimin’s spent cock and lower further to lick at his hole. Jimin hisses at the touch of Jungkook’s tongue and covers his face with his hands.

He feels Jungkook move up his body. “What are you embarrassed about?” Jungkook whispers into his ear.

“I-I don’t know. No one has done this to me” he mumbles through his hands.

Jungkook scoffs. “Of course no one has done this. No one else can love you the way I do”

“This is not a competition, Jungkook.” Jimin groans, hands still over his face.

Jungkook removes his hands away from his face and kisses him. He can taste Jungkook on his tongue. “I’m just saying no one else can match up to how much I love you” Jungkook says, tone suddenly serious.

Jimin’s heart swells. “I know” he whispers.

Jungkook squishes Jimin’s cheeks together. “We need a shower. And we need to change the covers” He holds out his hand to Jimin, eyes still wide, finally ending their search. Finding their undefinable. They are alight now with a knowing. Jungkook’s collarbones are still strong and defined, indents, curved to carry away Jimin’s heart.

Jimin nods, and takes his hand, clasping his fingers tightly, plucking Jungkook away from the sharp thorny world.

“Are you happy?” Jimin asks.

“Yes”

“Then that’s all that matters” Jimin affirms, steeping Jungkook in love and kindness.

Jungkook’s exhibition opens well. Jimin sips champagne as he stands in a corner and watches Jungkook run the crowd. His paintings are a mix of old and recent ones. Jungkook still has the apartment in the city which they use when they travel.

“Have you been to any of his shows before?” the lady standing next to him asks.

“No. This is my first”

“I know the artist” the lady now says.

“How do you know him?” Jimin asks with interest.

She leans forward and whispers “We were dating.”

“Really?” Jimin quirks an eyebrow. “Are you his ex?”

“Well, not exactly” she amends apparently not sure of the ex tag. “We were together, a couple of times.”

“I see” Jimin murmurs, politely.

“I thought I could come here and try to talk to him again. He seemed interested when we parted” She admits, gesturing to where Jungkook stands with a group of people. Jimin also looks over and catches Jungkook’s eye accidentally.

Jungkook tilts his head and waggles his eyebrows asking a silent query as to if he was doing okay. Jimin smiles and gives a small wave and Jungkook’s answering smile is big and bright before he returns to the conversation with the small group around him.

“Wait. Do you know him?” the lady asks in a loud urgent whisper.

Jimin merely smiles at her and walks towards the painting hung in the center. He hasn’t seen it yet. Jungkook has said that it was a surprise. He joins the few people in front of it. The painting is very clearly not for sale.

He reads the title written in Jungkook's beautiful handwriting.

The Scent of Lemons.

Wings

Everything appears big around him as he tumbles in the grass in confusion. He has hazy memories of a warm body and it is all too brief. Now he is so cold. The lake shimmers before him, bringing chilly wind into its edges. He is scared and there is a gnawing sensation in his stomach. He takes a tentative step, stumbles face first into wet mud. It coats his fine baby feathers and beak. He just lies there, having no energy to move. Now and then he calls weakly, emitting tiny squeaks.

Heavy treads announce the arrival of something big and he struggles to get on his feet, but he isn’t fast enough because there is a strange thing that reaches for him and enfolds him. He struggles feebly and suddenly he is thrust into warmth. Faintly, he hears a beating sound and the thump of it against his tired body and he closes his eyes, giving into exhaustion.

When he wakes up, he is dizzy and disoriented. The underside of his body is on something soft and he is no longer cold. He pushes his head off from the surface and peers around. There’s a soft caress down his back and when he looks up he sees a long strange shape with tapering ends, touching him. He cringes back in terror at first, but soon the rhythmic caresses claim him. It is when the strange shape feeds him, that he knows that he has found his mom.

There’s something quivering in a saucepan and it is calling to him. Goose is confused by it and yet excited. Instinctively he wants to throw himself inside the pan. He starts walking around the saucepan in agitation until mom picks him up and lowers him gently, little by little. His tiny webbed feet touch water.

Goose loves water, food and his mom. They do everything together. His favourite place to sleep is on mom’s hair or the inside of his neck, where it is toasty and warm. He likes running on the grass, looking for yummy things to eat. His second favourite place is under the lemon tree because it smells like mom. He and his mom spend lots of time together under it. The farmhands love him and they are always clucking and cooing over him. He also likes going to the market with mom, where he is the undisputed apple of everyone’s eye. Cheese Grandma gives him bits of bread and cheese even though mom had requested her not to feed him that.  If he is too naughty at the market, like when he got into the big container of sugarcane juice to swim, mom confines him under a bamboo basket. It does not bother him too much. He actually likes it. It is warm-cool and quiet there and he needs his bit of rest after being a star.

Goose follows his mom everywhere. Sometime he thinks mom is a little strange. For one, mom is way too big, his mouth is weird and he does not have feathers and when he stands under the rain in the bathroom, mom slathers some gross tasting things on himself. Goose only tasted them because they looked white and fluffy like the clouds, but mom scolded him and rinsed his mouth.  Goose does not see why mom has to use it everyday under the rain, but he knows to avoid it now. Goose loves him anyway because even with a weird mouth, mom gives the best pecks.

Goose calls for his mom. The floor is so far away. He doesn’t know why he flew up because he hates it now and he is afraid to go down. The table is not very long and he runs from one edge to the other. How will he go to the lemon tree with mom? And his saucepan is near the bathroom! He panics, quacking till he is hoarse. He won’t be able to go under the rain in the bathroom with mom anymore. He is stuck in this horrible place forever.

He hears movements from the bedroom and jumps up and down, half flying up in the air to catch the attention of Mom. Mom strides to him, concern etched on his face.

“Goose?” Mom asks, head cocked to one side. “What’s wrong?”

“Fly down baby.” Mom crouches underneath him. “I’ll catch you.”

Nooooo. He doesn’t want to fly down. Its scary.

“You can do it Goosie.”

Why doesn’t Mom just take him in his arms? He squeaks pitifully. He doesn’t like this tall place at all.

Mom finally rises to his feet after a few minutes and cups Goose in his arms. His heart is beating madly.

“My poor boy.” Mom croons, cuddling him against his cheek.

Goose feels so much better. He pecks mom’s hair and calms down slowly.

“It’s okay if you can’t fly, you are still my best boy.” Mom says, kissing his head.

Mom is carrying a thing in his arms. Its making strange sounds and mom bends down and holds it towards Goose.

“This is Goose.” Mom says pointing at Goose and when the thing makes a barking noise, he laughs. “Such a good girl.”

There’s only one good boy in the house and that’s Goose. Now this thing is good too?

Goose ignores the thing.

The thing licks his bill. Goose flutters his wings in alarm and pecks it’s nose. The thing yelps and wriggles out of Mom’s arms, running behind his legs.

“Goosie…” Mom sighs.

Uh oh.

“Look, she’s your younger sister. Be gentle with her, okay?” Mom says. “That means no pecking.” Mom adds sternly.

Goose takes a good look at the thing peeking from between mom’s legs. It doesn’t look much like a duck at all. It has four legs for one, unlike mom and him who have two legs and is covered with strange looking squiggly fur. It slobbers a lot too, between sharp teeth. A string of drool drips from one end of it’s jaw to the floor. Goose does not understand how this creature can be his sister, but if mom says so then it must be true. They are a strange family anyway because mom doesn’t look much like a duck too. Mom has both his arms around the thing and he is kissing it. Goose quacks and runs off, feeling jealous, going in search of his saucepan. He finally finds it in the kitchen, high up on a shelf. Mom must have forgotten and placed it on the top shelf. He droops forlornly, waddling out of the kitchen. Mom and the thing are playing in the living room.

“Goose, come here, you silly boy.” Mom calls, wriggling his fingers. “I know you are sulking.”

He chatters restlessly. He won’t go. That will show mom.

Goose understands why Smelly must be his sister. She cannot fly too. 

There’s a stranger danger human in front of their stall, talking to mom. Mom seems unhappy and Goose does not like it at all. Also, mom was spraying water on him and the stranger danger human is interrupting it. Goose quacks to get mom’s attention but he continues interacting with the human. Goose is annoyed and he waddles off to seek solace from Cheese Grandma. Maybe she would give him some cheese, with the green bits in it. Cheese Grandma does not disappoint him and just as he is settling down to fully enjoy it, he hears quacking from the sky. He abandons the cheese and runs to the edge of the stall. There above him, is the perfect v formation of ducks flying. His heart hammers and he loses all other reason expect for the yearning to fly in the sky with the ducks. He half flies and half runs after them, beady eyes trained on the sight above him. Distantly, he hears Grandma calling for him. The dry earth kicks up dust in little whirls under his agitated body. It chokes his throat and stings his eyes, yet he keeps going. The ducks are farther in the horizon now. With a mighty effort he flaps his wings and lifts in the air a few feet. He is not able to keep up the momentum for more than a few minutes and he wearily alights on a branch. He snaps out of the daze into full terror and starts calling for mom. Just when he feels like he cannot call anymore, he hears Smelly’s bark. He flaps his wings in excitement and relief. His relief turns to worry when mom tries to climb the tree and falls down. He is going to be stuck here forever! Then a miracle happens. Stranger danger is climbing the tree and is reaching for him. He glances down at mom, unsure if he should go to the strange human. Smelly barks at him encouragingly and mom entreats  him to go to the danger human.

He does not like to be in stranger danger human’s arms but he must be good and quiet for mom. The minute the stranger danger human reaches the ground, Goose dashes off into mom’s arms and tucks his head into mom’s neck. His heart is still hammering in his chest. He doesn’t care about anything else anymore, focusing on mom’s voice. He lets mom carry him back but stupid smelly runs off behind the stranger danger human. Goose is annoyed. Smelly is always like this, trusting everyone instantly no matter how many times Goose had to tell her to be careful. She gets excited and forgets about the stranger dangers. When they go home, he will have to remind her again.

The danger human ties some thing around his neck. “Please.” he pleads to himself. “I hope this works.” Goose pecks him and escapes. He absolutely hates the danger human, even more now, because dumb Smelly is friends with him. He is also absolutely certain that the thing around his neck will kill him. He tries to get the thing off in many ways. He rolls on the grass, rubs against the bark of his lemon tree, pokes his head into Smelly’s mouth. Nothing works. Distraught, he goes in search of mom and finds him under the rain. He complains loudly and rubs his neck against mom’s feet.

“What’s this Goose?” Mom asks, fingering the thing around his neck.

Suddenly Goose is afraid that the thing will kill mom too. He attempts to waddle away but mom wraps his arms around him to hold him in place and tugs the things off his neck. Goose honks in panic and jumps in the air. Nothing happens. Mom does not explode. He is intact and there is a tremulous smile on his face.

“What should I do?” Mom turns off the rain and crouches on the floor. He whispers into his neck. “What should we do, Goose?”

The Jungkook human is always around mom and when mom isn’t looking, he tries to bribe Goose. But Goose isn’t the one to be won over easily because the Jungkook human had made mom rain from his eyes and Goose cannot forgive him for that. Smelly is a gone case already, disappearing with the Jungkook human for hours. She comes back with a dopey look on her face and Goose wonders why mom is allowing it. Goose also does not understand why the Jungkook human has to sleep on their bed. It really is an inconvenience. On some nights, mom locks him and Smelly out of the bedroom to be alone with the Jungkook human. Goose had spent the first few times in anxiety near the door, sure that the Jungkook human was torturing mom while his dumb sister slept blissfully, moving her feet occasionally. Smelly was clearly dreaming about flying in the sky while mom was in danger! In the morning he searched mom’s face for signs of rain, but mom was smiling more and more, so it is okay. But even on the days they all sleep together, Jungkook human is often draped around mom and he has to compromise and sleep on the human’s chest or head. It’s not fair because it was only Mom and him in the beginning and then he, mom and Smelly. Why should this Jungkook human be in his house and on his bed and snuggling into mom’s neck when it was obviously Goose’s sleeping place? Worse, why is he always touching mom and stealing kisses from him? Doesn’t the Jungkook Human know that mom kisses only best boys and his dumb sister?

The Jungkook human is not all that bad though. When mom isn’t looking the human feeds him cheese, even though it is a no no. He lets Goose sit on his shoulder on the way to the pond and sometimes he even gets into the water with him and smelly. Goose likes him in those moments. He also likes watching the Jungkook human paint, even if the painting of him did not look like Goose at all. The silly human painted him with many balloons tied to his body, flying in the sky and his body was tiny white hearts. He said it was Goose when clearly it is an imposter but Mom hung it up proudly in their bedroom anyway. 

Once, he pooped on the Jungkook human and he didn’t get scolded for it. Mom always scolds him and says that he is a big boy now and he shouldn’t poop on ducks and strange human dangers and especially not on his sister. But all the Jungkook human did was sigh and tap his bill. Goose poops on him again, this time on his head, just to be sure. The Jungkook human’s face loses the smile but still he doesn’t tell Goose off. He merely turns on the rain in the bathroom and stands under it.

Goose hesitates near the door for a few minutes and then joins the Jungkook human under the rain.

Mom tells him that the Jungkook human has gone to the big city for a few days. Goose misses him. He misses the paint smell and the kisses and swimming together in the pond. He misses watching movies with him, while mom and Smelly are working on the farm. It is boring without the Jungkook human’s songs under the rain in the bathroom. No one is there is take his side when he does something naughty. He misses the Jungkook human’s sparkly eyes and supervising the Jungkook human’s cooking in the evenings, from his place in the saucepan. He misses painting with him, like when they made a birthday card for mom with impressions of his webbed feet and smelly’s paws.

But, the thing he misses the most about the Jungkook human is the mom part of him.

The day is bright and blinding. Mom had given Smelly and him a wash early in the morning with the gross white bubbly thing, even though he tried to tell mom that he did not need it. When mom is drying Smelly, he goes to hide in his secret place to sulk. It’s a while before they look for him.

“Goose..”

He ignores the calls.

“Goose, c’mon we have no time for this today.”

He ruffles his feathers in indignation., If they did not have time today then why did mom give him a bath? He cannot stay hidden for long because somehow Smelly always finds him, the traitor. But it is not mom behind Smelly, it’s Jungkook mom, who has hands on his hips and a stern expression on his face.

Uh oh

Jungkook mom rarely gets angry, but when he does, everyone goes quiet. Even mom, who usually yells and puts everyone in their place, keeps quiet. Goose waddles out meekly from behind the couch. Jungkook mom immediately scoops him up and tucks Goose under his arm.

“Both of you behave today. Don’t upset Jimin.” Jungkook mom scolds them.

Smelly whines.

Goose opens his bill to protest the unfair accusation. Mom upset him! not the other way around. He is interrupted mid squeak.

“Nope. Not hearing anything from you today.” Jungkook mom says, wagging his finger and then produces two yellow ribbons out of his pocket. He proceeds to tie it around his and Smelly’s neck.

“My best boy and girl.” Jungkook mom squishes them in a hug. “Both of you look so pretty.”

Well, if he looks pretty then it is worth it. After all, beauty came with great pain and it is not easy to be a star.

Jungkook mom hurries them along outside with Smelly on a leash and Goose tucked under his arm. Goose wonders where they were going, all dressed up, because Jungkook mom is not wearing his usual clothes that is torn in places. Then he sees it. There are a lot of stranger human dangers gathered around his family’s lemon tree and there’s a path on which they are walking, littered with flowers. There are familiar faces too like cheese Grandma, Mom friend Sungwoon who is his uncle, Jungkook mom grandma and grandpa and Jungkook mom brother, who is also his uncle. Goose looks down in excitement at the blur of colours.

Then at the end of the path, under the tree, mom is waiting for them. Mom is alone so he pecks Jungkook mom’s elbow to tell him to go faster and is alarmed to see rain in his eyes. Goose chatters in apology but Jungkook mom is not looking at him. His gaze is entirely on mom, who is smiling so widely that Goose is transfixed. Mom looks lovely with a crown of flowers in his hair and for once Goose does not mind that he is not the star of the day. It is okay for mom to be the apple of Jungkook mom’s, Smelly’s and his eyes, today. Maybe even of all the stranger danger’s eyes too, that are peering at them from the sides. It is okay because there is such beauty in mom’s simplicity, his plain lemon scented loose farmer clothes and his loving smile that is reserved only for his family. Smelly tugs on her leash and they lurch forward, losing balance. Mom lunges and steadies them all with strong hands. Drops of rain from Jungkook mom’s eyes drips onto Goose’s head, and he is squished uncomfortably between their bodies in an embrace.

But it is okay, because in their arms, between their love, Goose is ready to take flight on beautiful wings.