Chapter Text
This is fine, this is fine, this is MOTHERFUCKING fine!
That was the mantra I repeated in my head as my shirt stuck to my back, gnats swarmed around my head, muscles sore, begging for rest while the headache inducing smell of bug spray burns my nostrils and lungs every time I dare take a breath. But this hell inducing experience was for him, for my younger brother’s birthday. A request of a family day to climb the trail up our local mountains to enjoy a quaint lunch at the top. A simple request really, one that should have been fine, except for the fact that I hate hiking up basic mountains or any mountains really, basic or not.
Like really why would anyone with proper mental faculties enjoy this activity, especially if all you want to do is climb to the top to look at the view. Fucking look up the image online, use AI to make an image, hell even go outside and look at trees, I swear the view of them look basically the same whether your looking down at them or right at them. But I digress, it’s his birthday, his desire, his day, so I gotta keep it nice and keep my negative thoughts to myself. Especially since out of the four of us I seem to be the only one who is steadily getting a migraine for dealing with this nonsensical bullshit that the others are calling enjoyment.
Looking up from my feet slightly ahead of myself I see my parents, my mother short brown curly hair tied into a ponytail and stuck through a baseball cap, aluminum walking sticks, and a backpack filled to the brim with snacks, bug spray, and water bottles, an outfit that screams “professional hiker” laughing as my father playfully shoves her into a puddle. Forgetting about the expensive water resistant hiking boots she’s wearing. Only to be reminded of it when she purposefully stomp into it, getting his own shoes and socks wet by the splash she causes. A reminder that you can never get one over on her.
Looking further up I see my brother ahead of us, always a race with him. As he practically speed runs up the mountain looking over his shoulder to see the damage our mother had caused. Looking away from her he makes eye contact with me, a determined look in his eye and a slight upward curve to his lip giving him a cocky smirk; a look that just screams “I’m winning” and “having fun back there?”.
…
Fuck him. I just knew he chose this activity to torture me, that damn brat. But this is fine, it’s his day, we’re almost to the top, and once there we will eat tasty junk food with crisp water to drink, all while enjoying a good old rest. Then we will have the absolute pleasure of walking down the path, driving home and making cake for the desert.
This is fine.
A snap of undergrowth beside me throws me out of my thoughts and catches my attention, and in a matter of seconds all I feel is adrenaline rushing through my veins. Adrenaline and panic. As large creature of brown fur erupts onto the trail, standing in between my family and I. Brown eyes that bead into my very soul, radiating its fury. Before I could even yell, my father already reaching pulling my mother, rooted in terror, behind himself; grabbing onto her walking sticks as a makeshift weapon to fight the beast. Its roar, a guttural sound that splits into my head. Aggravating my headache more the sound leaves me petrified. The bear charges fast, low, with all force. There’s no time for me to do anything but feel the slap of claws, the sickening impact, and experience the sky spinning within my view as I’m thrown of the other side of the trail, falling and flailing all the way down.
I collide hard at the bottom, pain crackles through my body. Leaving my view with nothing but sky, rock, and trees. Something’s wrong, I feel wet and a piercing pain throughout my chest. I try my best to breathe, only to cough and choke on the air I attempt to suck in. Something in me gurgles thickly as I again attempt again. I hear my mother’s scream from above, my name, she’s calling out to me. But it’s muted and fuzzy, I must be underwater; that’s why I’m wet, that’s why I hurt to breathe. I try to swim up, up, as I must have fallen into a river…I have to… swim… break the surface… just air, I need to just breathe… but it hurts. It’s to hard, my body isn’t working, the river is too deep. With each movement I drown more, heavy and hot, burning in my lungs. But I have to go, it his day, it’s important.
The world around me grows ever more muffled, distant. Memories flicker, my brothers laughter, watching movies with my father, my mothers hugs. The water isn’t letting me go. The world around me blurs, I hear voices, feel warm hands caress my cheeks, but I’m still sinking with lungs filling up with water, it’s getting dark and I no longer have the energy to swim.
I feel the warm hands lift my face up, and I try to see, I try to understand who is there, and I see him. My brother’s face, mouth moving but sounds are not coming out, he looks scared. I can’t have that, it’s his special day, we’re going on a picnic up on top the mountain later. I try my best to reach for his cheek, wiping away specks of red paint that shouldn’t be there. Using my last bit of strength I do my best to speak what I can through the water.
“Don’t…don’t let this birthday…be all about me, yeah?” shivering as I speak. It’s getting colder “You have…so..Promise… promise me you’ll…. You have… You… laugh again. Live. Tell Mom… sorry I can’t… cake…” Blood bubbles at the corner of my lips, but I forces another look at him, eyes flickering with sorrow and tears. “I’m proud …you. Always... My brother.”
My head limps forward while everything fades to black.
It was peaceful.
For all but two fucking seconds.
The darkness cracked open painfully, as bright light shown behind my eyelids, while icy water was poured across my sensitive skin, stealing every shred of warmth I had. my lungs burned again for breath I didn’t have, a hard slap to my ass seemed to fix that problem. As I was able to take a big gulp of precious air, but the slap hurt, I’m cold wet and hungry, It was all too much! So I couldn’t help myself as I started to cry. Big fat tears run down my face, by body trembling from the water until rough linen harshly wipe the water off and surrounded me.
What fresh hell is this treatment? This is unacceptable who fucking dares to manhandle me in this way? I will literally beat the shit out of you, you fuckers! As I try to punch and push my way out of the blanket I barely registered harsh words cutting through the crisp air. A woman’s voice, sharp and bitter, that echoes like a whip to stone.
“Get this foul thing away from me! And get it to shut up, its cries are bleeding into my growing headache!”
Surprised by the harsh tone I was able to stop crying able to suppress it into wet whimpers. Using more of my strength to open my eyes to get a look at this Karen, turning my head I see her lying on a bed covered in sweat and looking utterly exhausted. But wait a damn minute, This bitch, was she talking about me?! With her eyes glaring into my own, I come to the conclusion that yes she was complaining about me. So in a fit of rage I made a decision. Because fuck pity and fuck her, so within my rage I look into deeper into her eyes, a quirk of her brow shows me she’s paying attention. I take a deep breath and scream, louder and more bloodcurdling than before
This ought to teach her a lesson.
With a swipe of a hand Karen seems to give a signal to the other occupants in the room because I am then picked up from the table by large giants and carried out of the room.
Wait a minute. Large giants? With a better look around I see that I they are not giants, but I am in fact very small. Small as in baby small. I am a baby. Thoughts slam into my head as I remembered that I died, I went hiking with my family and I fucking died by a bear. And now I am a baby. Dead to baby. Died now baby. I was old now I am not so old. I was reborn. Into some medieval shit shack with apparently a horrible Karen of a mother who hasn’t fed me yet and with doctors who don’t know how to handle infants. I’m not going to live long aren’t I? Goddamn it this sucks!