Chapter Text
It's just, five months everything had changed, my family far from me, and as for me, I'm off to the side, on this planet, so hostile, the ceremony was an absolute mockery, all of this is just control and power, I had to call, husband, to a stranger in this place, they worship him as if he had all the answers,but he's still just a man. Until now, I admire him, at least he keeps his word, although it was unnecessary to say that we would govern together, he only wants my family to get what they need.Although I feel a bit jealous of him, being so young, he found strength and is protective of his family. He also found the love of his life. Many in this bureaucracy expect to find respect or tolerance in their marriages; few find love. Despite everything, he was lucky.
On the day of our marriage, he said those words, a promise only to his beloved. I could see Jessica trying to hide a smile. I didn't feel any resentment, only sadness for them. If my father hadn't allowed himself to be manipulated by that woman, perhaps our relationship would be very different.
I don't like living here, but I prefer it more than having to return to Wallach IX with the reverend mother, Mohiam. Her heart must be made of ice. She doesn't respect any of her followers, especially me or Margot. Our last conversation was deplorable.
-I was hoping there was some progress... all this training, and you don't know how to use it, you have beauty, and also intelligence, and you were defeated by a simple Fremen,
she continued to evaluate me with her eyes
-Your, name is all I'll have. I really try hard, at least to have a friendship... it's useless, I'm sure you blame me for mistakes that aren't mine.
-true, you had to inherit your father's weakness, now he has nothing...just like you
-You are supposed to be one of the best Bene Gesserit, every day my father trusted you, but in the end he was just using you as a puppet, that's what you do with others... the Atreides were prospering in peace, my father respected the Duke.
He just preferred to attack them, out of greed alone, it was necessary, to betray them like that, Paul and Jessica... He thinks he didn't know, they are also his blood... He, should have killed you, just like Baron Harkkonen.
It was so fast that he was in front of me, I knew he would dare to hit me, he had wanted to for a long time, but his hand just kept shaking.
"You know why I prefer to hold back. You've had enough with the treatment you get from your new family, your in-laws... Do you think they'll ever respect you? No, they will, and it will only get worse. I truly feel sorry for you, but even if you don't believe it, I pity you, since you're no match for a concubine.”
He approaches a table and brings a tiny transparent bottle. It's your only chance. The poor girl had a son some time ago, but due to an attack by the Harkonnens, he is now dead.
-No wonder the emperor decided to attack...he has suffered a lot, don't you think it's enough, you should be on good terms to help them?
-How ridiculous... they are just a mistake, but even so, they can be controlled, now your husband has destroyed everything, he has too much power,He's just a man, and where is his weak point, his heart alone, every week he adds a few drops to her food, and she will never give him an heir... He still calls you princess consort, right, never empress, at least you could give him a son.
-You are despicable, remember Margot, you forced her to commit a crime, with Feyd'rautha now, she is in a marriage, with a sick girl... tell me it was worth it, that poor girl will not live until she is fifteen, and now that house is eliminated
-I know, it was unfortunate, but at least Margot can boast of a husband and a daughter...who knows, you might have a chance, just do it and I hope you don't fail.
Upon returning to the palace, I knew what I had to do, yet I still felt a lump in my throat. I didn't feel capable of it; I preferred to keep it in a chest in my chambers; no servant would find it. At dinner time, I tried to make the slightest eye contact, but it seemed to me that I could sometimes feel Paul's gaze on me.
Only two weeks had passed, and I was still intact, every day I felt heavier, and I could feel it, watching me... of course he must know everything... or maybe he doesn't suspect anything, or some other such mundane idea in my head that he shows a bit of concern for me as if I were also part of his family.
As I headed towards the west wing and saw those feydakin at the large mahogany doors, I felt more nervous. Even so, they were indifferent, but they respected my position. As I opened the doors, there he was, my husband still writing on a thick piece of parchment. Without looking up, I heard them close the doors behind me.
-To what do I owe the honor of your visit, princess?
I perceived something different in his tone of voice, I wasn't sure if it was good or bad.
-My lord, I know it's early, but I would like your permission to visit Lady Margot.
as he turns around and sees me, his eyes half-closed, certain, thinking something hostile about me.
-If you made an effort for once in your life, you would get used to it here...which is also your home.
-I'm sorry, I just want to talk to someone else, other than the maids. And you're no other option... It would only be for at least three weeks. I'm sure your sister and your mother would be happy.
-I'll wait for you here in a week...and if you don't need to say anything important, has you go
When I left, I was surprised that he didn't agree. At the beginning of our relationship, he tried to talk to me, at least to get to know him. He would go weeks without talking to me. With Jessica, it was just necessary.
I approached the ornithopter, trying to shield my eyes from the sunlight. I had to get used to this weather for my own good. I knew no one would come to say goodbye, except for two of the maids who helped me daily. They are fanatical Fremen, but even so, they showed me more kindness while someone stood at the entrance. It was strange that it was her.
-I just came to say goodbye
-It's kind of you, Lady Chani, although I'll be back in a week.
-I know it's difficult to live here, you just have to adapt. I hope you have a peaceful trip.
Thanking him, I went up and sat down at the window. He was still there as I moved away from that planet. Now I was more determined. I can't allow Mohiam to control me. He has already destroyed my family and my father.
I could see from where the Thalim star system was, upon arriving at Bandalong, the sacred city of the Tleilax, upon getting off in front of me was Margot, and next to her a wet nurse holding baby Marie in her arms.
-How nice to see you, dear...it must be a relief to get out of the desert for a while
-yes that's how it is
-Tell me what's going on
-Recently, I was with the reverend mother, our coexistence was deplorable...she is not interested in the damage she causes.
-Let me guess, he's tricking you into conquering the emperor.
-He wants me to prevent his concubine from giving him a child. He even threatened me.
-Keep going with that method...even many women did the same in Kaitain, especially in the palace. Tell me what you'll do.
-I won't allow it, that's why I need your help
-You will show compassion for them, you don't owe them anything.
-I want to do the right thing, Margot. Look around us. We have nothing left, and I don't want to make the same mistakes my parents made. Besides, I want to do it for myself.
-I know a woman who's quite experienced at the chemical level. She might be able to help.
When it was morning, we were inside a carriage. It could glide by itself. The biggest influence on this planet is technology. The city looks so alive and pure, I think as I look out the window.When we arrived, Margot got off first. As we approached, the house was very pretty. Outside, the garden was very green to be natural. We didn't knock on the door.
The woman is now in front of us, she bows her head in greeting
-I had only read about this type of houses, you know how old they are
-Thank you, Your Majesty, at least not all the books were destroyed.
-Abby, I think you could help us.
-I want you to thoroughly analyze the contents of this bottle, and since Margot trusts you, I shouldn't say that you should be discreet.
-By your supposed majesty, you both can trust, please accompany me upstairs
Upon arrival, the room had many books, glass containers of ambiguous shapes, and many notes on the desk.
After the woman analyzes meticulously, she approaches us
-It is a very strong contraceptive, but at the same time, Your Majesty, it is a poison. This should not be consumed. With a single use, it could cause permanent sterilization.
-You said it's...like a poison, it could affect organs.
-That's right, the person who gave this to you was hoping to cause a lot of harm.
-Abby...you could have something similar here, but of course without consequences...you know you will be rewarded.
-Margot, what are you doing?
-Even so, it must be done, or any sister will attack us, just for following her orders. Now that I'm implicated, it's best to go with the flow. Don't worry, nothing will happen to her.
After each day I tried to enjoy it, sometimes I look at Marie, Margot's daughter, she's so small, too pale, yet she looks sick, I know what Margot does, she just tries to ignore her
On that last day, I didn't want to return, but I must obey the Emperor's orders. If I could escape, I would, but this very afternoon, I would be in Dune.
When I arrived, she didn't come to welcome me, Chani was there again, and in her arms, she held the little girl, Alia didn't have one, she didn't want to be there
As night approached, we would soon meet in the dining room. Everything was ready in the kitchen. They only had to take the dishes to the dining room. They are so meticulous in order. I knew which one would be hers. As I approached, I added a drop. The liquid left no trace, no one would notice.
In the dining room, Chani sits on Paul's left side, and as for me, on my right side too, next to Jessica. When I watched Chani eat, I felt a knot in my stomach. I just hoped nothing bad would happen to her. Paul didn't turn to look at me, but I could see his knuckles were whiter, as if he was gripping the fork harder, or who knows, maybe it's supposed to be everywhere. He's probably holding back from trying to choke me.