Work Text:
"I think he wants you," Leila whispered in my ear. "He keeps looking over. Go rescue him from those corporate types, he's losing his focus."
As I saunter over, I see Adam's whole body relax and his arm outstretched to pull me in beside him. Slowly it wraps around my shoulder, the other arm moving across the front of my waist, immobilizing me. When he smiles down at me, I move closer, knowing that as unlikely as it seems, he doesn't care about cameras or propriety, he wants me near.
"Hey, baby. This is Ross and John, they're on the board of Home for the Holidays, Cyndi's charity. Guys, this is Sauli Koskinen, my boyfriend."
I shake hands with the men and they resume their conversation. I peek up at Adam and take a minute to appreciate his captivating looks. No wonder people want to talk to him, look at him, have a piece of him. He is beautiful. And the animation when he talks, how he looks you right in the eye when you answer, how rare that is with celebrities, most of whom only care about what they have to say, not what you think. But I know those eyes, how they look when he's listening, when he's watching, when he's angry, and when he's seducing. It's like he can feel the smile that flits across my face as he glances down then plants a soft kiss on my forehead. The shock must register in my eyes because he grins and squeezes me tighter.
"Gentlemen, I have ignored my boyfriend for way to long. Thank you so much for asking me to perform tonight, it was incredible. Cyndi is such a star, larger than life. I hope we can work together again some time. Thanks, again."
"Adam," A breathe out, "I cannot believe you did that." And he kisses me again, this time on the lips, just a quick brush, but breaking all the rules he has set for himself.
"You can't believe I kissed you? Well, is it not my prerogative to kiss my boyfriend?"
"But you know someone took a picture."
His laugh fills my heart. "I choose the time baby, and I really NEEDED to kiss you. Now, let's go keep mom company for a little while longer then I want to take you home and make up for abandoning you."
It's back to LA the next day and the sun feels really good compared to the windy dreariness of NYC, but Adam can't seem to get away from the deluge of phone calls that were lined up from the previous day when he was in soundcheck then the show. Slowly his mood sinks and I see the euphoria of the performance fade. That these suits can do that to him infuriates me.
"Come on, my love, let's stop for lunch on the way home."
"Can't, baby. They want me to stop at the office for a short meeting. Do you mind if I send you ahead with the luggage? The driver will get it all in and I'll unpack my own when I get home. I'm really sorry, but they kind of insisted."
"Of course not, but please try not to let them stress you out. It's almost the holidays and they need to chill and let people enjoy them."
The small smile he gives me says that he will try but isn't holding out much hope for a positive outcome.
"I'll be waiting. Call me when you're almost there and I'll mix up a pitcher of something and make a salad."
"Deal. See you in a few hours."
The afternoon stretches on as I unpack our suitcases then head out into the sun. Closing my eyes and letting it bake out all the weariness and stress from the flight and from the fact that Adam is still not home. When I hear the door slam, I head in for some damage control.
"That bad?"
"Worse!: Well, I guess not horrible, but I can't get them to back off on some things that are important to me. We talked, but I swear they come in with an agenda and it's all business, the music taking second place. It's just so fucking frustrating."
"Here, sit down and let me get you a glass of wine. And I'll bet you haven't eaten, I'll make us a salad, too."
When he grabs my hand and pulls me down onto his lap I'm not prepared for the ferocity of the kiss. It goes on and on, his arms encircling me as if he thinks I'll try to run away. He may be manhandling me because he can, but I feel that his need is for me to be strong, be the one who absorbs all his pain.
"I really want to make love to you, baby. Can we do that?"
"Always."
When we reach the bedroom, Adam has already discarded his own clothes and is reaching for mine. He pulls me close, my back to his chest, arms around me tight, possessive. He reaches down into the night stand and pulls out the lube, looking at our reflection in the mirror to gauge my reaction. In seconds he has a finger inside me then has himself ready. With little or no preamble, he is inside me pulling a gasp from both of us. My heart is pounding, my blood racing. This is so unlike him, but it's exciting, erotic, dangerous.
"God, what would I do without you? You make it all better, Sauli. I don't know how you do it, but everything is better when I'm with you, inside of you. It's like if I can just make us one person things will be okay. Can you understand that?"
"You know I do. There are times I can't stand you not touching me," And a groan escapes my lips as I clench him further into me. I thrive on those times he NEEDS me. He is so independent and in charge most of the time that when these times come and he clings to me, whether physically or emotionally, I relish them, I hang on to them, keep them in a special place, remembering them when I am feeling unnecessary in his fast paced world.
"Am I too much for you? Too much work? To much drama? Too intense? I don't want to be, but...... " My seducer stops talking to move into me, faster, harder. "You are the only person who has ever been able to take all the bad stuff away.""
A sheen of perspiration covers both of us as we watch our lovemaking in the mirror, my gorgeous dark haired lover towering over me. I want to turn around and kiss him, but he has me immobilized, driving his cock into me and reaching for mine to insure we come together. The mark he is sucking on my neck, something he is usually so careful not to do, is pulsing and pushing me toward my release. When he stops and throws his head back, I feel him freeze then come inside me. Just the thought and sight of that pushes me over as well. Adam stays inside me for a minute but I can feel all the energy and strength leave his body so I turn, kiss him briefly and lead him over to the bed.
Lying there, nothing to say, just wrapped around one another, a million thoughts run through my brain. The euphoria that we found one another, the agonizing thought that it was so serendipitous and could very well never have happened always frightens me. On my darkest days, that is my thought. What if I had never found him, we had never found one another. What an empty life I would have had. And I wouldn't have known it was empty because I never would have felt the deep, unconditional love from this amazing man.
When I snuggle closer, cling tighter, I feel the strong, sure hand come up and brush my cheek.
"What are you thinking? That I'm a crazy, impulsive, needy bastard who just acted like a Neanderthal? I'm sorry."
"No, I was thinking that in spite of all my protests, sometimes I enjoy being manhandled and fucked within an inch of my life."
The surprised laugh sends a thrill through me. Me, it was me who has made his day better. I have revived him, saved him from the temporary darkness that was creeping in. For now, my mission has been successful.
I feel his hand slide from my face, down my neck and chest. "What are you doing?"
"I want my fingers inside you. I want to feel you wet with my come. I want to hold you down and fuck you again."
"I probably shouldn't have asked." I chuckle. "Go ahead, use me!" I whisper in a martyr's voice. "Woe is me."
"Bitch! If you're trying to make me feel guilty, it's not working."
"Good."
When we make love again, it's less frantic, sweeter, but no less intense. Adam doesn't know how to do anything without intensity and as his eyes bore into me from above, just as his cock is boring into me, I can see that this time it's for me, not for him. He wants me to know that it's about love, about US this time, not about anger or healing, it's just about love.
There will always be more meetings, more disappointments, bad times mixed in with the fabulous, exciting times, but somehow we will always manage to make them tolerable, maybe even enjoyable. That's what love does for you.