Chapter Text
The darkness of the ways was something one never fully became accustomed to. The ever present storm and the sense of eyes watching waiting with a hunger.
Rand clung close to Lanfear as she casually strolled along the path, torch held high as if this was a mere walk in the moonlight. She was beautiful as always, dressed in all white she shone like a beacon like the moon. Her long black hair flowing gracefully and freely, unlike how her hair had been in the dream world.
She seemed different, softer more like the Selene he knew. She had come to him, helped him when he asked it of her—spared Moiraine despite her promise to kill her if Lanfear saw Rand near Moiraine again.
Rand had said Lanfear wouldn’t kill Moiraine if she wanted Rand’s help but Lanfear had no need of any help from Rand- she was there to rescue him. She was simply humouring him and he knew it.
Moiraine and Lan trailed meekly behind, silent and unnoticed: they were at Lanfear’s mercy and Rand doubted she had forgiven Moiraine for her actions in the cabin.
Stabbing and slitting her throat, Rand was also moderately irritated by the interruption now that he knew ‘Selene’ was Lanfear and he had not witnessed her death.
The threat of Machin Shin loomed over them all.
Rand couldn’t help how he gravitated towards Lanfear, no matter how he knew he shouldn’t trust her and her actions had all been a deception. Rand had loved Selene and some of that had transferred to Lanfear.
As they ventured further from the waygate and the adrenaline of the moment began to fade, Rand began to feel queasy and strange.
He shrugged the feeling off and did not complain, but the more they walked the worse he felt.
There was a foul taste in his mouth that lingered no matter how he tried to swallow- the more he swallowed the more the taste grew and filled the pit of his stomach. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to be sick or not but he knew he wasn’t feeling to good.
He was cold but his skin was covered in a thin sheen of sweat. His mind felt heavy and there was a darkness to his vision he didn’t think was due to the Ways.
Still Rand tried to press on, until Lanfear came to an abrupt halt and turned to him.
“Why have we stopped?” Lan questioned suspiciously stepping in front of Moiraine shielding her from Lanfear’s view.
Lanfear however had no interest in Moiraine her attention was devoted in its entirety to Rand, her lips pursed and a flicker of concern. She reached out and cupped Rand’s cheek with a gentle tenderness. “Rand look at me” She said softly.
“What are you doing to him?” Moiraine demanded surging forwards as if to pull Rand away. Lanfear shot her a sharp lethal glare “You are alive because I allow it, because you have some use to Rand. But do not think to interfere in matters between him and I, try and come between us- try and keep him from me- and I will kill you.”
Moiraine faltered and Lan once more grew defensive.
“Lanfear” Rand said, his tone a feeble attempt at sounding scolding but sounded more of a weak whimper. It was enough to redivert Lanfear’s attention back to him.
“It’s the taint.” Lanfear said mostly to Rand but Moiraine and Lan listened closely. “You were shielded for many hours or days, however long it took you to reach out to me.
You were shielded from Saidin, but also from the taint. Your body had time to experience what it is like to not have the taint flowing through your system. Then you were unshielded and shielded before I unshielded you again. Saidin flowing once more within your veins along with the taint. Your body is reacting, wanting to expel what it now knows does not belong but can’t. You should have spoken up sooner Rand.”
“The taint doesn’t work like that” Moiraine said uncertain “from all we have learned and out studies on men who can chanel”
“I think I would know more about the taint than you, or your feeble scholars” Lanfear said sharply, she pulled Rand closer to her cradling him. “You pathetic excused of imitations of what used to be Aes Saidai, know nothing. You still men long before you learn anything useful and even then can’t look beyond your own preconceptions.”
Lanfear’s tone turned soft as she gently helped lower Rand to the ground, still holding him close letting him rest against her.
“I can help you Rand. It will hurt, I won’t lie but I can help you if you trust me. You have to trust me” Lanfear was gentle, caring and concerned. Rand’s confused hazed mind couldn’t make sense of if it was a lie or genuine or if it really mattered. If this was the effects of the taint then what could Lanfear do?
Rand wasn’t sure if he had spoken the words aloud or if she somehow knew what he was thinking.
“I can’t remove the taint from Saidin, but I can help negate it’s effect. Not permanently but enough.” Lanfear’s thumb traced Rand’s cheek as she spoke softly to him. Rand did his best to focus on her words and focus on not throwing up all over her pristine white outfit. He frowned in confusion- how could she affect the taint? Women can’t touch Saidin. It is why there are two halves: Saidin and Saidar and why women aren’t affected by the taint.
Once again Lanfear seemed to read his mind
“ The taint is separate from Saidin but blankets it. I can’t touch Saidin with Saidar. But I can affect the taint with the true power- which is where the trust comes in” With both hands she forced Rand’s eyes to meet hers “I need you to trust me to use the true power, to reduce the amount of taint flooding your body. The shielding and unshielding has accelerated the process. I can slow it down and reduce it back to how it was when we first met in Cairhien”
“Rand that isn’t a good idea.” Moiraine interjected terrified. Rand couldn’t possibly think to agree: allowing a forsaken to use that vile power on him. Who knows what Lanfear might do. “Letting her use the true power-“Rand’s eyes were locked on Lanfears. On the surface her expression was calm and placid- but Rand saw the undercurrent of emotion: the worry and the hope along with a plethora of other emotions he didn’t know how to read.
“Do it” Rand said with certainty. Whatever Lanfear might do to him couldn’t be any worse than what the taint was already putting him through. Lanfear at least wanted him alive and relatively sane. If she could affect and reset the taint: Rand might have more of a chance at making it out of this mess alive with his mind intact.
“Wait! you can’t channel in the ways!” Lan was the one to interrupt this time “You’ll kill us all. Machin Shin”
“You can’t channel Saidin or Saidar in the ways” Lanfear said as a flicker of doubt crossed Rand’s face and he seemed like he might refuse. “I won’t be. The Ogier could only account for what they knew when they made the ways and the true power was not something they could account for. Unless Moiraine over there decides to play hero and chanell, we’re quite safe”
Lanfear’s eyes never left Rand’s as she spoke, as if only speaking to him.
Moiraine and Lan were irrelevant to her. Inconveniences at best and if they kept trying to come between herself and Rand, giving him doubts—she would kill them without remorse.The two were useful in that Lanfear couldn’t openly be on Rand’s side or at his side at all times, he needed someone. Needed protectors. But Lanfear could find other options if she had to.
“This will hurt” Lanfear said in warning. Lanfear reached into the true power and let the darkness flow at her fingertips. Ishamael had told her of his last encounter with Lews Therin, how he’d healed Lews and removed the taint enough for lews to regain his sanity: so Lews could see and know what he’d done to that bitch of a wife and their children. It had cheered Lanfear considerably seeing their lifeless bodies through Ishy’s memories and how Lews broke.
The true power can be used by either male or female, so if Ishy could affect the taint, so too could she.
Rand was better than Lews Therin in every way, and Lanfear wasn’t going to lose this time. Rand would love her as Lanfear as he had Selene, he already did but was too terrified and plagued with doubts- she would assure him of her own love.
But first keeping his beautiful innocent little sheep herder mind intact.
Rand roared and cried out as Lanfear used the true power to strip away layers of taint from his mind. Pulling and pulling from his mind and body the dark foul substance.
She couldn’t remove it all or rid him of it permanently, but this she could do for him.
Moiraine and Lan watched on in stupefied horror, Lan holding Moiraine back. Lanfear’s eyes were completely black like voids yet seemed to glow. Lanfear tried to be gentle, but there was little she could do about the brutality of it all.
When she was done, Lanfear pulled the true power away from Rand. Rand collapsed against her, exhausted and barely conscious. Lanfear herself needed rest for a moment.
She held Rand close to her, her hand splayed against the side of his face and head moving it away for just a moment to flick her cloak over his still trembling form.
“Rest Rand.” She said soothingly “there is no hurry. You are safe here with me, I will keep you, safe and protect you.” Her voice dropped to a soft whisper neither Moiraine nor Lan would hear “You are Mine. I won’t let anyone take you from me- not them, not the world. Not the dark one or the taint. You are mine”