Work Text:
Jaime wasn’t impressed about visiting Winterfell. King Robert was overly happy about the visit which meant that Cersei hated the trip even more than she might have ordinarily hated a trip. He understood why. He knew that Cersei wanted no reminders of Lyanna Stark. In spite of the fact that Cersei held no love for Robert, it still irked her that her husband loved a dead woman more than anyone else.
Winterfell was dull and gray and boring. He wandered the halls and passageways only to run into a couple of giggling girls. One of them was Sansa Stark. She looked absolutely mortified to have run into to him.
“I’m sorry Ser.” She said, red faced and she and her friend hurried away.
***********************************
It had not been Jaime’s idea to marry Sansa Stark. The marriage had been a command of the new Targaryen Queen. Jaime had gone to Winterfell expecting to find a child bride who would hate him. Instead he found a twenty year old young woman who barely had a word to say. She never spoke more than three words at any time to him. Not when they were introduced, not when he took meals with her each evening for a fortnight before the wedding. He couldn’t tell if she was terrified of him or if she was insane or if she actually did hate him. She simply wouldn’t engage in conversations beyond giving the briefest possible answers to his questions. Tyrion had told him to expect a wall of courtesy from Sansa but not this.
On the wedding night she stood trembling in his bedchamber wearing only a thin shift and he was more than hesitant to take his rights. He barely knew Sansa but he did know that her last marriage had been an unhappy one and that she had every reason to fear Lannisters.
“We don’t have to do this.” He told her. “The queen would never know.”
She shook her head no, “Do what you must.” Four words. It was almost a miracle.
“I won’t hurt you Sansa, I hope you know that.” Jaime said.
She nodded. “Brienne told me.”
Jaime settled himself on the bed and Sansa joined him there rather reluctantly. He reached over and touched her arm and she flinched at the touch. “I can’t do this.” Jaime said, getting out of bed to pour himself some wine.
He gulped down his wine and glanced back at Sansa who lay trembling but stoic on the bed. “Wine?” He asked her and she nodded. When he finally climbed back into bed she was trembling only a little less than before. He pulled her into his arms and she stiffly allowed the embrace. He tried to rub her back but she didn’t relax. He tried kissing her and she didn’t kiss him in return. “You know what? I think we’ll just sleep like this until you are used to me.” Jaime said. Sansa said nothing in response to that. She never quite relaxed in his arms but she did eventually fall asleep as did Jaime.
***********************
Ten days had passed. Sansa still did not talk to Jaime but for the past three nights she had actually relaxed in his arms to sleep. Well, not exactly relaxed but she had been far less stiff. She was getting used to him, maybe even getting used to the idea that he would not hurt her. Jaime wasn’t sure why he was going to all this trouble to get her to trust him. He certainly hadn’t expected a happy marriage. He didn’t love Sansa Stark but he disliked the idea of her being afraid of him. And more than that, he wanted her to feel safe. After everything that had happened to the Starks because of the Lannisters, he felt like he owed her that much.
It was late one night eleven days after the wedding. Jaime and Sansa were climbing into bed for the night and on this night he didn’t have to reach for her. Sansa came to him and hugged him and she even lay her head on his chest and sighed. She cuddled up close to him, not at all stiff and awkward but relaxed and contented.
“I like this.” She said softly, and soon fell asleep.
****************************
Jaime waited until several weeks had passed before he tried to kiss her. They had already gone to bed one night and she was nestled snugly in his arms. “Sansa?” He said quietly so she would look up at him. Her eyes met his. “May I kiss you?” She nodded agreeably. This time when he kissed her, she responded favorably. She kissed him in return and she molded her body against his. They stayed there kissing, hands roaming for a long while. Jaime was willing to let it end at that. He didn’t want to but he was willing to. It was Sansa who reached for the laces on his breeches and took off her own shift.
He took his time with her and was especially gentle with her. She seemed surprised when he brought her to her peak and he realized that in spite of being married for nearly a year before, she had probably never known pleasure with a man. He held her close afterwards and expected she would soon fall asleep as they always did each night. A few minutes passed in relaxed silence. Then Sansa burst into tears.
“Sansa?” Jaime asked, unsure what had happened. She was sobbing and clinging to him. “Are you alright?”
“Don’t let go.” She pled, so he didn’t. He held her until she stopped crying and fell asleep in his arms.
**********************
Things began to change a little after that. Sansa stopped avoiding Jaime the next day. She had mostly spent her days with her ladies and maids but she instead began to take all her meals with him and to sit and watch him in the practice yard. If he was going horseback riding or hunting, she joined the hunt. She still didn’t talk to him, but she clearly wanted to be near him. As soon as Jaime understood that’s what she was doing, he made every effort to include her in his plans.
They were preparing for a ride one afternoon. Sansa was in the yard with two of her maids. They were fussing with her hair and the ties on her cloak. She caught sight of Jaime across the yard and ignoring her maids, she crossed the yard and went to him. Jaime was a little surprised that she would come to him so boldly like this. She had been like his shadow for weeks but had never been terribly obvious about it.
Sansa stopped in front of Jaime, reached over and touched his horse. “Can we share?” She asked him.
“Of course.” He said, a little stunned that she was asking to share a horse with him. Not because he believed she disliked him. It had become clear in recent days that she did like spending time with him and did like sharing a bed with him. However, she was too reticent for him to have any idea why she had seemingly accepted the marriage and his presence at Winterfell. Still confused, he helped her to mount and then he climbed on behind her.
He felt her sigh of contentment when his arms came around her to hold the reins. He leaned forward and kissed her neck. She leaned closer to him as he expected. Sansa enjoyed physical affection and he was more than willing to give it to her. He liked the way she responded to his touch and he liked the fact that he could touch her even with the servants and her maids present. He was her husband, it was expected that he would touch her. He’d never been able to be openly affectionate with a woman before. It was a nice change.
*********************
Jaime awoke to Sansa’s nightmares. She didn’t have them very often but when she did she clung to him and just sobbed uncontrollably. This time was no different. He still didn’t know what she dreamed about. She still didn’t talk to him. He liked to believe that maybe given enough time she would open up to him. It had been five moons already. Maybe he had been wrong about that. He held her anyway, not sure why it helped her or why he bothered.
“Jaime, kiss me.” She said gently and it was so rare that she said his name and she was so easy to kiss that he couldn’t resist.
He kissed her slowly and longingly as he had so many times by now. He knew what sort of kisses she liked. He had learned how she wanted him to make love to her but only by observation, not because she had actually told him anything. She relaxed under his touch. All thoughts of her nightmares seemed to leave her. He was glad to be able to comfort her but it was getting to seem so one sided.
Sansa pulled away from him, noticing that something was wrong, she searched his eyes.
Jaime sighed. “Why won’t you talk to me Sansa?” He said in response to her questioning eyes.
She didn’t reply. She simply pulled herself closer to him and buried her face against his chest as if she could hide to avoid speaking. Truthfully, she could. It’s what she always did. And he still didn’t know why.
*************************
They were almost finished with the noon meal in the great hall when the guests arrived. Jaime went out into the courtyard followed by Sansa to see who had come to visit them.
It was Ramsay Bolton. Sansa stopped dead in her tracks. “My Lady!” Ramsay called out across the yard with a big smile on his face. “I am so pleased to see you are well.” He said approaching her.
Jaime looked back at Sansa and found that she looked absolutely terrified. She was frozen with fear. He wondered if perhaps Bolton was the source of her nightmares.
“What brings you all the way here from the Dreadfort?” Jaime asked Ramsay, trying to distract him from his focus on Sansa.
“The winter stores my lord. It seems we have a shortage. As our liege lord, I thought I might request your assistance.” Ramsay said.
“Of course.” Jaime said. “Come inside and we’ll discuss it.”
“No.” Sansa said.
Jaime turned to her stunned that she was speaking openly like this and that she was being rude as well. “What do you mean, no?”
“Leave.” She said to Ramsay. “You must leave.”
“Sansa what are you…?” Jaime was confused by her behavior. He had known that she was not at all saddened when the Queen annulled her marriage to Ramsay. He had known that she had run away from her husband long before the Queen had arrived in Westeros. He hadn’t known how deeply she feared and disliked Ramsay Bolton.
“Make him leave.” Sansa said, taking Jaime’s arm, her eyes pleading. “Please.”
Jaime nodded and turned to Ramsay. “Your presence is distressing my wife. Wait outside the gate my lord and I’ll speak to one of your men about supplies.”
“As you wish, my lord.” Ramsay said, smiling broadly at Sansa as he turned to go.
“I hate him.” Sansa said through clenched teeth as she watched him leave.
**************************
When Jaime finally arrived back in their chambers that evening, Sansa was sitting on their bed curled up hugging her knees. Her eyes were red rimmed from crying.
“I should have told you.” She said, her voice raw.
“Should have told me what?” He had never known her to speak so many words all in one day. First Ramsay earlier and now this. Maybe her silence was finally at an end.
“I should have told you...what he did to me...he should have never been allowed inside Winterfell. Never.” She said.
He sat down on the bed next to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “What did he do to you?”
“I wasn’t allowed out of my room. He kept me locked in all day. Every night he hurt me. He wasn’t gentle with me like you are...He liked hurting me.” She said, her voice breaking.
“So that’s why you have nightmares? That and Joffrey?” He asked.
She nodded and he worried that she had gone silent with him again.
“I should have told you a lot of things. I’m sorry.” Sansa said.
That night she talked to him more than she ever had. She told him about what she had suffered under Joffrey in King’s Landing. She told him what Ramsay had done to her. She told him about her days in the wild with Brienne and Theon and Podrick. She told him how afraid she had been and how he somehow made her feel safe.
“What I don’t understand is why you wouldn’t talk to me.” Jaime told her late at night when she had finished her story.
“At first I was just afraid of you. Then I was afraid of how I felt about you. I thought if I talked to you, you would know how I felt…” Sansa said.
“I already know.” Jaime said, “I can see it in your eyes, in the way you kiss me, in the way you try to share your days with me. The truth is, I feel the same.”
“You love me?” She asked timidly.
“I love you.” He said.
She smiled. “I love you.”