Chapter Text
“You must read your opponent”, Devyn said, “You must live within their mind so long as you’re fighting, must be them in order to know who they are and what they will do next”
“I know that”, Alayne huffed.
“Then why did you let me do this?”, her teacher mocked her as the hilt of his sword hit her stomach, the impact making her fall to the ground.
Devyn’s sword quickly found its place on Alayne’s neck, as the man let it hover there for some time, simply to remind her of what would’ve happened if he’d been anyone but her greatest friend.
Alayne knew much of the art of swordsmanship, definitely not as much as him, but he’d been her teacher for so many years by now, that she should have perhaps learned how to beat him.
But alas.
“Your mind is elsewhere”, he said, voice steady, “Did something happen?”
Alayne just shook her head, uncaring to speak on the matter that had been bothering her for sennights by now. She knew it should not upset her so, perhaps she should actually think of it as a good thing, and yet her heart had been hurting for days.
“Was it your uncle?”, her teacher questioned lowly as he helped her get back to her feet, “I know that Lord Robar is above us both Alayne, but I’ve already told you many times, that if he tries anything with you then you just need to call for me and I wil-”
“It’s got nothing to do with him”, she silenced him, “Lord Robar has been much too busy dealing with something I’m not important enough to know about, so he’s left me alone these past few days”
“Then what is it?”, he insisted.
Alayne sat down, drinking some water as she dug her sword in the floor, her way of expressing the anger and frustration, but most of all the utter despair, that ruled her in that very moment. If Devyn had been anyone but himself, then she would’ve stuck to her silence, but he knew her better than anyone else in this world, and she trusted him above all.
“Joy is leaving”, she revealed, “Her husband was called to the Eyrie to guard the Lady Jeyne, and Joy will leave with him and the rest of their family”
Devyn let out a deep breath, placing a hand on her shoulder as he gave her a sad smile, rubbing her muscles to try and soothe her somewhat. The look in his eyes as they bore into hers told her that he understood her plight, and most of all that he was aware of the true reason behind her suffering.
Since her mother had died, Alayne had never had anyone to count on but Devyn and Joy, and the latter was now leaving. Devyn was one of the people she loved most in this world, but he was not Joy.
“I’m sorry to hear that”, he told her, “I know how you care for her my girl, but you must see that this is a good thing. Your uncle is my Lord and it is my duty to serve him, but you must know that to work for him means that you get very little in return for your hard labor. If I recall correctly Joy has some six or seven children, and some grandchildren as well, ‘tis only normal for her husband to want to find a place where he might work and get paid enough to provide for his family”
“I know that”, Alayne huffed annoyed, “I know that it’s a good thing, and I’m happy for Joy and her family, I really am. But I jus-”
“I know”, Devyn insisted, “But the Eyrie is not that far from here, I’m certain that you two will write to one another and mayhap visit each other”
“Of course”, she chuckled, “Because I’m more than certain that my uncle, who’s known amongst all the Seven Kingdoms for the love he holds for me, will want nothing more than to let me out of this place. I’m barely allowed out of my own chambers, but he will certainly let me visit the Eyrie just to see Joy”
Devyn fell silent, a look of pity on his face, the very same one that showed up whenever Alayne reminded him of what her life was like outside of their training sessions. The fact that she was even allowed to spend time with him was but a sheer miracle, but apart from the sessions with Devyn and the sadly rare visits from Joy, Alayne was not really allowed to see or speak to anyone.
She’d had great trouble understanding why that was as a small child, not grasping onto why her life had changed so very much after her mother passed. She had many restrictions whilst she was alive as well, but the Lady Rhea always made sure that her daughter got to see what laid outside Runestone, something her cousin hadn’t done once since he’d become Alayne’s warden.
Alayne remembered very little of her life before she’d become her uncle’s ward, but she knew it hadn’t always been like this. She remembered dining with her mother, accompanying her whenever she went on her hunts, the two painting together.
She did also remember how she was never allowed to refer to her as “mother” when others were present, and how she was more often than not introduced as the daughter of whichever maid was closest in that moment.
She hadn’t questioned it at the time, far too young to realize what was going on or wonder why, and once she did start asking questions, she was quickly told that she was not allowed to do that.
The Lady Rhea Royce was her mother when the two of them were alone, or at most when her uncle and his wife were around, but as soon others showed up, she was a maid’s child. She knew that most people who lived within the walls of Runestone believed that Alayne was her uncle’s bastard, and that none would speak on it in order to avoid bringing further shame upon his wife.
Alayne had never liked it much, the way her mother went from hugging her close to her and telling her stories when they were alone, to outright ignoring her when others were present.
But that was simply the life of a bastard.
“You will be sixteen namedays old in a couple years”, Devyn reminded her, “Once you reach the age of majority, we will leave. I promised that to you on your tenth nameday Alayne, and I will see it through”
She remembered that day, how excited she’d been to celebrate her nameday with her uncle and aunt, and her cousins as well. She’d assumed that her mother’s death had been the reason why she hadn’t been allowed to celebrate the previous ones, as Runestone was in mourning for their Lady, and their Lord was adjusting to his new role.
But on that night she’d shown up to her uncle’s chambers in her best dress, a smile on her face as she declared that she was ready to celebrate, only for the man to laugh at her. He’d mocked her for daring to presume that a bastard would get a nameday celebration, and had backhanded her on the cheek when she’d said that she was no common bastard, since her mother had been the castle’s Lady.
Devyn had found her some time later, crying desperately as she attempted to care for the cut her uncle’s ring had left on her face. He’d tended to her wound and her comforted her as best as he could.
He’d brought her a small cake he’d asked the cooks to bake, as he’d probably known from the start that she would not get the nameday celebration she’d so wanted. As they ate the cake together, Alayne had confided in him, had told him that Lord Robar was her uncle, and of all the man had said and done to her on that night, and other times before as well.
Devyn had told her that her uncle was a mean man, and that she should not listen to him when he said such things.
He’d told her that once she tuned sixteen namedays old and was no longer Robar’s ward, the two of them would leave Runestone together. He’d spoken some dangerous words on that night, because if anyone else had heard him say such things and had reported back to his Lord, he would’ve lost his head for daring so far.
But he’d done it anyways, and on that night Alayne had found her first true friend.
“I know that it’s difficult”, he continued, “But this is not forever Alayne, please remember that”
She tried to give him a reassuring smile, wishing to avoid another one of these conversations. She knew that he meant well whenever he started them, that he simply wanted to make sure that she believed that one day she would get out of here. But the more time passed, the less certain Alayne was that it would actually happen.
Throughout the years her uncle had become worse, and she’d been more and more secluded in a place she’d once thought of as her own home. He’d gone from simply making her dine alone, since it would not be proper for a random bastard to be seen eating with a noble family, to just locking her in her rooms for days on end for seemingly no reason at all.
She’d asked him why a couple times, before she’d understood that by asking him questions, she was simply awakening a monster she could not defend herself against. She’d started her secret training sessions with Devyn after a particularly bad visit from her uncle, after which she’d basically begged the man to teach her how to protect herself.
But years and years of training on her part, did not erase the fact that Robar was almost two feet taller than her, and much heavier. The one time she’d actually tried to fight him after he’d struck her on the cheek, he’s broken her left wrist before her fist had even collided with his chest.
Alayne was a good fighter, she knew that, but she was not yet ready to take up arms against her uncle. Hence why she was more than thankful to whatever had kept him so busy these past few sennights, as he hadn’t visited her for some time, meaning she’d been able to just live in peace without his shadow looming large in every corner.
After her session with Devyn she retired back to her chambers, quickly adding the papers he’d given her to her book, in case anyone asked to see the result of their meeting. One of the castle’s Maesters being a retired bravo was as odd as it was convenient, as it made it much easier for the two to conceal their training sessions behind false lessons.
Her uncle thought too little of Devyn to have him teach his own children anything, thinking that a man of low birth and standing would have nothing useful to say to kids of noble birth. From what Alayne knew, Devyn had been called to Runestone because of his skills in medicine, not as a teacher. But Robar didn’t care enough about Alayne to give her a proper education, so when Devyn had first asked to teach her how to read and write, her uncle hadn’t thought twice about it.
If he ever found out that Devyn had actually been teaching her how to wield the sword, then it would not end well for either of them, but Alayne would never betray him.
She had a mission, one only she knew of, and she would not let anyone get in her way as she trained to one day do what needed to be done.
Ever since she was a child, Alayne had been tormented by dreams and most of all feelings, ugly ones, that she could not truly put into words. She didn’t know how or why, and sadly didn’t even know when, but deep within her bones she felt that something horrible would happen to her one day, and she yearned to be prepared for whatever was coming for her.
She’d have to fight in order to protect herself, and wished to fight to avenge herself as well.
Going back to her chambers was never a nice experience, as she silently made her way back to her own personal prison without a single complaint, forced to remain silent as her uncle’s guards locked the door behind her.
She was never told when exactly that door would open up once more, as she’d been locked in her rooms for sennights more than once as a young child, when she hadn’t yet figured out that with someone like her uncle, there was no use in trying to fight him.
Runestone was Robar’s to rule, and so were its inhabitants, Alayne in particular.
She’d had much trouble understanding why her uncle disliked her so when she was a young girl, until the day her mother had died.
The two of them had been out on a hunt, a belated nameday present for Alayne, as her mother had been busy handling some business on the actual day. She remembered Rhea sending her off to look for some flower, probably to avoid her witnessing her mother slaughter some animal she’d set her eyes on.
And then, with Alayne but a foot away, her mother had fallen off her horse.
She did not remember much about that day, apart from her own screams. She could not recall how long it had taken for someone to find them, but she knew that it had been too late for her mother.
She also remembered how she’d spent the entire day begging her mother to stay behind, trying to convince her that it would be best for them both to just remain within the walls of Runestone. She’d had a feeling deep within that something would go wrong on this hunt, but Rhea hadn’t listened.
“I told her it was dangerous”, Robar had raged, “So many times for so many years I told her to just give it all up, as women are not meant to hunt. I told her that she was not built for it, but she ignored me, and look at what that fucking got her”
Her uncle had paced around her mother’s bed for hours on end that day, going on rant after rant about how if his cousin had simply listened to him, then she would never have met such a fate. He’d been the one to find them, as he’d gone to look for them after they’d been away for a little too long.
He’d been far too angry to realize that Alayne was in the rooms as well, or perhaps he simply hadn’t cared enough about her to mind his words when speaking of such things, of how Rhea had suffered before finally passing away.
“Her skull was cracked open Anya”, he’d told his wife, “She fucking bled to death, there was nothing I could do to stop her from dying”
“This was not your fault”, she’d tried to comfort him, “I know how you cared for your cousin husband, but you must know that accidents do happen, so this was not your fault”
“I know it wasn’t my fucking fault”, he’d scoffed, “If Rhea had just listened to me for once, then she would’ve stayed back and remembered that as a woman, her place was by her daughter’s side”
At that point, he’d seemingly remembered that Alayne was present as well, and the way he’d turned to her slowly, his eyes on her like a predator readying itself to attack its prey, had been enough for her to freeze on the spot. She’d been crying quietly for some time, holding her mother’s cold hand as she she had been since her fall, until he’d grabbed onto her and had dragged her to her rooms.
She’d tried to fight him at first, wishing to remain by her mother’s side, which had earned her a slap on the face so hard, that it had left a scar on her eyebrow that she still sported almost a decade later. She remembered very little of what had happened after that, apart from her uncle locking her in her chambers, and her aunt coming in with tears in her eyes and a bruise on her own cheek, apologizing to Alayne before two guards grabbed onto her, and her aunt cut all of her hair off.
She hadn’t understood the reason behind that for years, as her uncle would force her to shave her head as soon as her hair started growing back. And once she’d finally convinced him to just let it grow out, simply tired of those terribly awkward meetings with her aunt, he’d agreed on one condition.
“Seven Hells it’s hot in here”, Alayne huffed as she ripped off the veil she now wore whenever she was with anyone but herself, by her uncle’s demand.
She spent the rest of the day in her rooms, all by herself, as per usual. Her uncle spent most mornings either on a hunt or locked in his own chambers doing whatever Lords do, so Alayne preferred for her sessions with Devyn to take place early in the morn, since that was the only time of day when nobody was around. The room they used was one she’d found by mistake one day as a young child, playing hide and seek with Joy and accidentally stumbling upon it.
It was an old room filled with books covered in spider webs, and considering the fact that Alayne wasn’t even certain that her uncle knew how to read, she doubted he’d ever come looking for it.
She on the other hand loved to read, in particular books about the history of the various Great Houses in Westeros, because whilst she herself couldn’t say that she was most fond of nobles, she could admit that a lot of their family histories were quite interesting. There was only one house she didn’t know much about, the one most others probably knew most about, but her mother had forbidden her from ever speaking of them.
And though Rhea had been dead for years now, Alayne still abided by her wishes.
She’d never asked her mother why she didn’t care for that particular house, assuming that she simply disliked them just as Alayne simply disliked most people, because she simply did, no actual reason behind it. She’d figured out the reason for her mother’s hatred with time, but Rhea was already dead and could not confirm nor deny Alayne’s hypothesis, though she believed that the hair atop her head was reason enough for her to believe what she did.
The conclusion she’d come to was a dangerous one, hence why she’d never spoken about it to anyone, had never taken her veil off around Devyn nor Joy. She didn’t know how and why her mother would ever have come into contact with a member of that family, or why that had lead to her hating them all more than any other, but alas it had, and Alayne would probably die knowing absolutely nothing about it.
As she was readying herself for bed, she heard a familiar combination of knocks on her door, and after placing her veil back on her head, she hurriedly moved to open it. Alayne’s day had been sad and lonely, as were most of her days.
She’d had an odd feeling that something terrible was about to happen, that a beast would come to destroy the life she’d built for herself. She’d dreamt of it a couple times, waking up feeling like she’d been given an opportunity to change history, and other times knowing that all was lost.
A secret long held shall not stay, when shadows fall a flame shall rise. A soul will realize and blood will come to hold. Hearts shall wail as the light's love, bright and true, will fade to ash as morning’s due.
Alayne shook her head, annoyed by the darkness that often brewed within her mind, leaving her with a horrid feeling she couldn’t shake until it left on its own. It had happened many times before, and yet this one just wouldn’t leave her alone, because something was coming.
And yet seeing Joy’s smile was enough to make all the worries go away.
“I am going to make us a cake”, Joy told her, “I assure you my girl that it shall be my best work yet, so we might eat it together before I leave”
“That’s nice”, Alayne mumbled, trying to keep a smile on her own face though it was quite the difficult task, as she knew that they were getting closer and closer to the day when Joy was bound to leave.
As she’d told Devyn, she knew of how difficult life had been for Joy’s family, due to how little Robar payed his men, including Joy’s husband. She knew that for a family so large, it must be incredibly hard to make due with so little, hence why she knew she should be happy to know that they would finally move to a place where they could have more.
And yet the most selfish part of her, was screaming at her to fall on her knees and beg Joy to stay.
But that would not be fair on her part, because her being stuck in this godsforsaken place did not mean that Joy had to remain its prisoner as well, so she remained silent.
“I made this for you”, Joy said as she took something out of her pocket, “I know it’s not much, but I have one as well, and I thought it would be nice for the two of us to share something, so in some way we might be together even when I’m away”
Alayne held the small bracelet in her hand as one would the most precious and delicate of jewels, admiring it and immediately deciding that it was now her most prized possession. As her eyes met Joy’s, she found herself in a position she’d found herself in before, clamping her mouth shut before she said more than she should.
She wanted to say it, the Gods knew she’d been desperate to say it since Joy had first told her that she would be leaving soon enough. Something ugly had brewed within her heart when she’d first heard the news, and immediately she’d wanted to scream at the woman.
She wanted to question why she as well was abandoning her, why Alayne was apparently not worthy anyone good sticking around. She was desperate to get the woman to understand that just as she had children waiting for her at home, she had an unofficial one in Runestone.
But that would not be fair.
Alayne was not Joy’s responsibility, and she was far too old to behave in such a way. She was not Joy’s by blood or by law, and Joy already had more than enough to worry about with all her children, and her grandchildren as well.
It would not be fair of Alayne to place such a burden on Joy’s shoulders, not when she knew that there was naught the woman could do to stop her family from moving away, not if she wanted them all to have the money they needed to survive.
And yet the temptation was there.
To finally refer to Joy by the title she’d earned throughout the years, using it to let the woman know just how desperate she was for her to stay, how much she needed her to not leave her behind as everyone else had.
But she remained silent.
Joy was not Alayne’s mother, just as Alayne was not Joy’s daughter. Joy had plenty of daughters, and Alayne had a mother. Dead or not Rhea Royce was the only mother Alayne would ever have, and the burden of an orphan child should not be placed on someone who hadn’t asked for it.
Joy had already done so much for her, far more than she probably deserved, and Alayne felt that it would not be right to ask for more.
The dragon shall come in winds of woe, as shadows grow and hearts are torn. Yet in the dark a light will call, something new shall rise, a tale of love and loss. The flame’s first touch shall twists the thread of fates once set, a force that could’ve destroyed it all, shall wither beneath a single stone.
“Will you come visit me on the morrow?”, she questioned lowly, ignoring the bad feeling brewing within her heart in favor of the woman in front of her.
“I’m sorry dearest, but I can not”, Joy denied her, “My Elyana gave birth but a few days ago, and though little Petyr is the greatest of blessings, he’s sickly. I’m heading home right now, so I might care for them both. But I promise you that as soon as Petyr recovers, I will come to you. And perhaps even bring him along, would you like that?”
No, Alayne thought immediately.
She’d never met many babes, but the mere thought of having to stand there as the small being screamed its head of was enough to make her wish to avoid it at all costs. But this was Joy’s grandson, so she was certain that he could be naught but the sweetest of babes, so she agreed.
Joy placed a small kiss on her temple before bidding her goodbye and leaving, giving her one last look before closing the door, and Alayne remained silent.
She immediately put on the bracelet, staring at it for what felt like hours whilst laying on her bed, thoughts of Joy and a family that never could be lulling her to sleep. The beads against her skin anchored her to the present, and yet her mind wandered to the past, to the life she’d once lead and the one she could’ve perhaps had.
One without secrets and shadows lurking in the dark.
Perhaps if things had been different, then Alayne wouldn’t feel so lost and alone, so distant from everything and everyone. A thousand unanswered questions swirled through her mind, but as her eyelids grew heavier, the sharp edges of her bitterness and upset became more and more dull, until her thoughts became naught but murmurs as she drifted to sleep.
And then someone broke through her door.