Chapter Text
It happens barely weeks into their debut. The birth of the RuJinu Nation. It is not unexpected—Rumi and Jinu are both attractive, confident, and, being the leaders of their respective groups, have the most interactions together out of all the pairings that can arise from Huntrix and the Saja Boys, since they’re usually the ones speaking for their groups. So really, Abby should’ve expected it. Should’ve not appeared quite so shocked on live television when an interviewer brazenly asks Jinu about it for the first time.
What are your thoughts on the RuJinu Nation?
Before Jinu can reply, probably recite some prepared PR statement, the interviewer catches the shock on Abby’s face and directs the question to him. And, well. Abby doesn’t have a prepared PR statement. He stumbles through a half-assed response about how great it is, blah blah blah, and doesn’t really know what he’s saying, until the interview is over, and they’re backstage, and Jinu pulls him aside to demand, “What the hell was that?”
“What was what?” Abby asks innocently, even though he knows exactly what Jinu is referring to.
“The comments you gave.”
“About RuJinu?”
Jinu winces at the name, for some reason. “Yes. That.”
“I…sorry. I was caught off guard.”
“You were basically confirming it for all the fans!”
Is that what he did? Oh, god. Really? Is that really what he did?
“I didn’t…I…” Abby shrinks beneath Jinu’s glare. “I’m sorry…”
“Hey,” a voice cuts in. Romance, already carrying his bag and ready to go. “Lay off him a little. It was a mistake. And who knows? If the fans think it’s real, it might boost our popularity.”
Jinu sighs, but backs off, probably seeing reason in what Romance has said. “Just…have a meeting with the PR team, okay? So, you know what to say next time.”
Is there going to be a next time? Something about that doesn’t quite sit right with Abby. But, he’s the one who fumbled the interview question today and basically confirmed RuJinu for all the fans, according to Jinu.
“Okay,” Abby mumbles. “Sorry.”
Jinu waves him off, already walking away to get his own things. “It’s okay.”
Romance gives Abby a sympathetic glance. “You okay?”
Abby busies himself with packing up his bag, not meeting Romance’s gaze. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
He means it as a rhetorical question. A sign for Romance to leave him alone. Except, Romance lowers his voice and says, “I mean, can’t be easy hearing your crush get shipped with someone else.”
Abby whips around and hisses, “Shut up!”
Romance raises his hands in surrender. “Abby—”
“Just shut up.” Abby shoulders his bag, then pushes past Romance.
It’s rude, seeing that Romance just wanted to make him feel better, but Abby does not have a crush on Jinu. Okay, he does, and Romance knows because Abby confessed it to him one night while stuck in a drunken, lovesick stupor, but Romance does not have to bring it up in the middle of a crowded dressing room, where anyone can overhear.
Thankfully, Abby makes it to the group’s van without anyone else pestering him about what happened during the interview. He’s arrived first, so he takes the back seat, puts his earpods in and leans his head against the window, ready to ignore everyone and everything for the whole ride back to the dorm. A short while later, the rest of the group piles in. Mystery and Baby sit in front, as they usually do. Romance sits with them. Jinu settles into the seat beside Abby’s.
It's a small van. Their knees touch. Abby not so subtly shifts such that they’re no longer touching. He feels Jinu’s gaze on him. He refuses to acknowledge it.
Back in their dorm, they order takeout for dinner, eat as a group, then retire to their respective rooms for the night. Abby lies on his bed after showering. He opens Twitter and sees the #1 trending hashtag. #RuJinuNation. And maybe he’s a masochist, because he clicks on it.
The latest posts are clips from the interview they just did today. Already, there are clips circling of him answering the interviewer’s question. About him stumbling through it. And oh god, he really did make it seem like RuJinu was real. He keeps scrolling. Digging himself deeper and deeper into the spiral of tweets, finding little pieces of evidence posted by fans that show why RuJinu is real.
Being two idol groups from the same company, they’ve already attended a variety show together. A lot of the ‘RuJinu evidence’ posted by the fans comes from this variety show. Abby remembers—Rumi and Jinu were made to play a game together. Just a silly game of Cham Cham Cham. But it was that simple game that ignited the RuJinu Nation.
He sighs deeply.
And it is at that moment, he hears, “Abby?” He tears his gaze from the phone screen. Jinu stands at the door, leaning against the doorframe. “Can I come in?”
Quickly, Abby gets up and makes space for Jinu on his bed. Jinu sits. “About the interview…I’m sorry I was so hard on you. I was just…stressed.”
“About the fans thinking RuJinu is real?”
A pause. Then, Jinu says, “Yes. I guess so.”
“But Romance said it might boost our popularity.”
“But it isn’t real,” Jinu objects.
And Jinu doesn’t know it—will never know it—but those four simple words from him lift Abby’s dark mood as quickly as a ray of sun cutting through a dark patch of thunderclouds.
Still, he says, “Does it matter? We’re idols, after all. Whatever we show the fans is a front.”
Jinu is quiet for a moment. Considering. “It does matter,” he says eventually. “It just…it just does. To me.”
“Okay. I’m sorry I said all that. I really messed up there.”
“Hey, it’s okay.” Jinu offers him a smile. It feels like forgiveness. “I’m sure this new…ship won’t last that long anyways.”
“Yeah,” Abby agrees, although his brief scroll through RuJinu Twitter begs to differ. “It won’t.”
===
Jinu is wrong. RuJinu Nation stands strong, gaining more and more supporters by the day. Fans love a good ship, and Jinu and Rumi aren’t exactly helping themselves. Maybe it’s just their nature—always helpful, always considerate. A clip goes viral online, from yet another variety show that Huntrix and the Saja Boys attended together, and it showcases Jinu passing Rumi a blanket so that she could cover her legs with it while sitting down. Then, another clip of Rumi leaning over to Jinu to whisper something.
Abby keeps track of all these clips, as if he were a RuJinu stan too, constantly checking the hashtag until it becomes almost obsessive. Romance notices him scrolling one day, while they’re on break from recording, and shoots him that sympathetic look again. It makes Abby want to throttle him.
But he might’ve been getting a bit too obsessive, because one day, Romance decides to stage an intervention and drags Abby to a bar, purposefully taking his phone away from him. Abby complains all the way to the bar, until they enter it and see Baby and Mystery already sitting there, waiting for them.
He’s barely sat down, eyeing them both suspiciously, when Baby bursts out, “Abby! This isn’t healthy!”
Abby turns on Romance in an instant. “You told them!?”
Romance flings both hands in alarm. “Woah, woah! I didn’t tell them! Hold your horses, Abby.”
“He didn’t need to tell us,” Mystery cuts in quietly. “It’s painfully obvious.”
“Wait, just to be clear,” Baby says. “We’re talking about Abby having an addiction to his phone, right?”
Everyone stares at him.
Mystery not so subtly mouths, “Jinu.”
Baby gasps. “Oh, right! The Jinu crush. Yes, I remember now.”
“Ssh!” Abby casts a quick glance around the bar, making sure no one was listening in. “Stop bringing that up so easily! Someone could be listening to us.”
“Oh, Abby,” Baby says. “Oh, poor, innocent Abby. It’s cute that you think people don’t already know that you have a crush on—”
“Shut up!” Abby roars.
That certainly has everyone in the bar looking at them.
And Abby has had enough. “What’s everyone looking at?” He yells at the crowd of busybodies. “Mind your own business!”
Mystery facepalms. Baby shake his head in disapproval. Romance hastily tugs him back. “Abby. That’s enough.”
“Are you okay, Abby?” Baby asks, and Abby really, really wants to strangle someone right now. Baby, preferably. “You seem really tensed tonight.”
“Yeah,” Abby snaps. “Because you guys literally just ambushed me and started revealing to the whole world that I like—” He cuts himself off.
“It’s okay,” Romance says softly. “You can say it with us.”
No. Abby won’t. He stubbornly turns his head away; arms crossed tightly over his chest.
“Anyway,” Mystery says. “We’ve brought you here for an intervention.”
Abby rolls his eyes.
“Don’t roll your eyes!” Baby snaps. “This is important. This determines the fate of the entire band!”
“The hell do you mean ‘the fate of the entire band’!?” Abby demands, fury re-ignited.
Baby shrinks with a yelp, hiding himself behind Mystery.
Romance places a placating hand on Abby’s shoulder, which he shrugs off. “What Baby means is that…this crush you have on Jinu. We want to know how deep you’re in. If this is something you can nip in the bud, while it’s still fresh, or if this is something you just…can’t get out of anymore.”
For a long moment, Abby can only stare at the table in front of him and let Romance’s words circle in his mind over and over again. Nip in the bud, while it’s still fresh. Something you just can’t get out of anymore. He knows why they’re asking this. Relationships don’t work in a band, do they? It…messes up the dynamic. It might lose them fans. It’s…unnecessary. Messy. A pain in the ass. God…
“Abby?” Romance asks uncertainly.
“I don’t need your intervention,” he mutters. “I can handle this on my own.”
“Clearly, you can’t, seeing as we’ve all been able to pick up on your feelings,” Mystery points out. “It’s a wonder that Jinu’s dense enough not to have picked up on it yet.”
“Wait. You guys don’t think he already knows, right?” Abby asks, suddenly panicked. If Romance, Mystery and Baby all figured it out, surely Jinu would’ve caught on by now?
“Hmm…no,” Romance says decisively. “Jinu’s surprisingly dense in this aspect. He usually doesn’t know when people like him.”
“Thank god…”
“So…you don’t want him to know?” Romance ventures. “You’re gonna get over him?”
And just the thought of getting over Jinu…he stands abruptly from the table. “Sorry. I…gotta go. See you guys at practice tomorrow.”
He flees before they can stop him, pushing out into the cold winter night. After a while of aimless walking, letting the coldness cool him down, he heads back to the dorm. Only when he’s in it does he realise Romance still has his phone.
“God damn you, Romance,” he mutters under his breath, wondering if Jinu is in, wondering if he can borrow Jinu’s phone to scream at Romance until he runs his ass back here and returns Abby’s phone.
Except, he hears keys in the lock and, fully expecting that it’s Romance, Mystery and Baby, quickly charges out from his room, demanding, “You guys better give me back my…”
He stops short. Jinu stands there, staring back at him, hair dishevelled from the wind, cheeks flushed from the cold. He’s dressed in a long-sleeved turtleneck and tight dark jeans that hug his body in all the right places, and it’s not fair. It’s not fair that he gets to look this good and Abby can’t even—he can’t even—
“Abby?” Jinu asks. “Are you okay?”
He mumbles an excuse and vanishes back into his room. A while later, the other three return. Romance kicks open Abby’s door and throws his phone at him with a, “Here you go, loser.”
And, of course, it’s back to the doomscrolling.
===
The next morning, the headlines show that the Saja Boys is disbanding.
“What?” Baby exclaims, having been dragged out of bed for the emergency meeting at their dining room table. “We’re disbanding? Why? What did I do? What happened? Why!?”
Jinu throws an iPad onto the table, the screen showing a news article with the headlines in bold: ARE THE SAJA BOYS DISBANDING? And beneath it, an image of the four of them at the bar last night, Abby on the edge of his seat screaming at them, Baby hiding behind Mystery, Romance trying to calm Abby down.
Once again, Mystery facepalms.
“Would the four of you like to explain to me just what happened last night?” Jinu asks, and though he sounds calm as ever, they can all hear the fierce undercurrent of anger and disapproval that runs right beneath.
For some reason, they all look at Abby. Including Jinu. Okay, he’s the one photographed to be screaming at everyone else, so…it’s true that Jinu would expect an answer from him. But the other three? They’re just throwing him under the bus like that?
“Ask Romance,” Abby says. “He’s the one who dragged me out last night and…”
Romance stares back at him, widened eyes saying, are you sure you want to go down that path?
“And challenged Abby to scream as loud as he can!” Baby cuts in. He shrinks when Jinu turns his disapproving glare on him. “It—it’s true! Guys tell him.”
With a sigh, Romance says, “Yeah. It’s true.”
Jinu’s gaze cuts to Mystery. Mystery just shrugs and says, “Yeah.”
Then, lastly, to Abby.
“Um…yes…it’s true.”
Clearly, they’re all amazing liars, because Jinu takes their word for it and demands, “Why the hell would you do something like this in public?”
They all glance at each other, wordlessly urging someone to speak first.
“Abby,” Jinu says, singling him out. “Why?”
Of course, it has to be him who answers. Jinu probably thinks it’s his idea to begin with. “We were…just bored. We just wanted to have some fun.”
Jinu sighs deeply, pinching the bridge of his nose, a perfect picture of disappointment. “I’m sure by now you should all know why it isn’t appropriate to behave like that in public. We’re idols. Anything we say or do in the eye of the public can be used against us.” He levels each of them with the classic Jinu Disappointment stare. “I expected better of you.” His gaze lingers on Abby.
And it stings, the disappointment. Especially because the whole reason Abby had an outburst like that was because of Jinu himself.
“Okay, Jinu,” Baby is the first to answer, meek as always. “We’ll do better.”
“We’ll do better,” Mystery and Romance echo.
A short silence, where Jinu’s gaze remains heavy on Abby.
“Yeah,” Abby agrees gruffly. “I’ll do better.”
He pushes away from the table before Jinu properly dismisses them and barely resists slamming his room door. He’s not having a tantrum. He’s just…frustrated. Wronged. Stupid Romance and his stupid idea of an intervention.
He flops onto bed. Thinks about doomscrolling. Doesn’t. As much as he would like to rot in bed for the rest of the day and avoid the hell out of Jinu and the rest, they, unfortunately, have practice. He can already hear Jinu calling for them to get ready. He sighs heavily. And heaves himself out of bed.
===
Practice goes smoothly. Everyone works extra hard, not wanting to risk anymore of Jinu’s ire. At the end of it, their manager gathers them in a circle for some announcements. He tells them about some upcoming performances and variety show appearances. A joint fansign event with Huntrix. And a potential role in a web drama that the company wants to use to promote both Huntrix and the Saja Boys.
“So, one of you will be chosen to act in it,” the manager says. “Alongside one of the Huntrix girls. How’s that sound?”
“Oh, oh, I want to do it!” Baby exclaims, raising his hand high.
The manager smiles apologetically. “Sorry, Baby. Actually, we were thinking of casting either Abby or Jinu.”
Abby blinks, surprised. He’s being considered for a role in a web drama?
“It would be an honour,” Jinu says with a smile, then turns to look at Abby like Abby’s supposed to say something too.
Abby coughs. “Um, yes. That sounds fun.”
“Good that you’re both on board with this idea,” the manager says. “We’ll have you both come down, say…Thursday? Run some lines, see which of you is the better fit. Okay?”
They nod. The manager dismisses them. As they’re heading out of the practice building to the van, Jinu bumps his shoulder against Abby’s. “Excited to be in a web drama?”
“It’ll probably be you anyways,” Abby says. But even as he says it, he realises that he is excited. He’s always been someone who’s eager to try anything and everything, and filming a web drama is definitely something he’s never done before.
“Don’t say that. I can see you as an actor.”
Abby laughs, secretly pleased. “Really?”
“Of course.” Jinu shoots him a smile, as they’re lining up to go into the van. “You’re good at everything you do.” Then, he turns without much fanfare and gets into the van.
Abby stands on the sidewalk a moment longer, replaying Jinu’s smile in his head, over and over again, until—
“Get in the van!” Romance yells at him from inside the van. “Some of us have places to be.”
Abby glares at him. He gets in the van.
===
Thursday rolls around. He and Jinu arrive at a practice studio that’s been set up to look like an audition room, with a long table situated at one end of the room and a single chair in the middle of the room, facing the table. The casting director of the web drama sits at the table, along with the Saja Boys’ manager and a few other staffs.
Jinu goes in first. Abby waits in another practice studio. While he’s waiting, he’s surprised by Zoey and Mira from Huntrix, who tell him that they’re here because Huntrix has practice today, but they’re waiting for Rumi, who’s been dragged to the audition room to read lines with Jinu. They ask him why he’s here. He tells them that he, too, has been asked to try out for the web drama.
At this, Zoey and Mira exchange an uncertain glance.
Then, Zoey says, “I think they’ve already settled on Jinu, actually. Not that you’re not good enough! I’m sure you’re a great actor too, Abby. It’s just because of the whole RuJinu thing.”
Mira nods. “Now it’s like the whole company’s just…riding on the RuJinu train.”
A twist in Abby’s stomach. One that he should be used to by now. Huntrix’s manager pokes his head into the studio room, calling for Zoey and Mira. They leave in a flurry of goodbyes. Abby is left alone, to quietly ponder what he’s been told.
A while later, his manager comes to find him. Tells him that he’s sorry, but the casting director is really set on Jinu. Jinu and Rumi read lines together, and they just…fit, in a way that the casting director really, really likes.
“It’s because of RuJinu, isn’t it?” Abby asks bluntly.
“Well.” The manager clears his throat. “It’s okay to give the fans what they want, right?”
Abby just nods, though internally, he feels like screaming. The manager pats his shoulder. “Maybe another opportunity will come up for you.”
Just like that, he’s dismissed. He manager goes back into the audition room and as the door closes behind him, Abby hears spills of laughter. Rumi’s laughter. Jinu’s.
He goes back to the dorm alone.
===
After hearing what happened, the other three Saja Boys know to leave him alone for the rest of the day. He stews in his room. Doomscrolls. Jinu doesn’t return for the whole day, probably too wrapped up in his new web drama role, in Rumi, and—Abby swears. Throws down his phone. Throws on a simple outfit. Tries to leave the dorm.
“I don’t think you should be going out in this state,” Romance says, catching him before he can.
Baby hovers nearby, worried. “Yeah. Remember what happened the last time?”
“That was because of you guys,” Abby growls. “Get out of my way.”
Romance lifts his hands in surrender and steps out of the way.
Outside, the cool night air calms his jangled nerves, soothes the mess of his head. He walks without aim, deciding that it’s best if he doesn’t enter any bars tonight. He keeps walking, until he reaches a small bridge overlooking a river. He stands in the middle of it, looking down at the dark water. He sucks in a deep breath. Two girls walk past him, giggling about something on their phones.
“Hey,” one of them says excitedly. “Did you see that clip of Rumi and Jinu?”
“Yes!” The other exclaims. “They’re so cute together!”
Goddamn it. Even out here, he can’t escape the RuJinu Nation.
When he’s wandered around aimlessly for long enough, he returns to the dorm. Before he goes inside, he spots Jinu’s shoes by the door. Look who finally decided to come back. He steels himself. And heads in.
The living room is dark, the boys having all gone to their rooms. It’s past midnight, and if Jinu were still up, he would be nagging at Abby for staying out so late.
And then Jinu really is here, as if thinking of him has summoned him. “Where’ve you been?”
“Out,” Abby says shortly, avoiding Jinu’s gaze.
Abby heads to his room, determined to ignore Jinu. Except, Jinu stops him with a hand on his arm.
“Abby, I’m sorry.” Jinu’s grip is tight, his voice low.
“Sorry?” Abby repeats, bitter, upset, and unable to hold any of it back. “About what?”
“The web drama role. I didn’t know they were just going to give it to me. Truly. I—”
“It doesn’t matter,” Abby cuts him off, still not looking at him. “It’s just a stupid role.”
Because it really is just a stupid role.
A moment passes where neither of them say anything. They simply stand there, locked in a stalemate, Jinu’s hand on his arm, Abby’s body turned away.
“Let go,” Abby says.
“Abby—”
“Let go.” He wrenches his arm from Jinu’s grip.
Jinu doesn’t stop him as he goes to his room. As he closes the door with a little too much force. Alone in his room, he sits on the bed for a while with his head in his hands. So now, he gets to watch a web drama starring Jinu and Rumi as the main leads. The fans will surely eat that up. RuJinu Nation will grow strong and powerful. Great. His life is just great.
===
It comes out on the news the next day. Rumi and Jinu cast as the lead roles of an upcoming web drama. Twitter explodes with it. Abby tries his hardest not to, but ends up scrolling anyways. It puts him in a horrible mood for the rest of the day, which bleeds out to the rest of the members.
Before they even leave the dorm, he gets in a fight with Baby about something stupid. Dishes in the sink or something. On the way to the practice studio, he ignores everyone in the van, even when they call his name. During practice, he misses a beat in the choreo, misses a line in his rap. All little things, all piling up. At the end of the day, the manager asks him if he’s alright. If he’s not feeling well. Kind of him, to assume Abby isn’t just messing up because he’s in a bad mood.
The atmosphere in the van on the way back to the dorm is dark. Silent.
This carries on for a few more days, Abby growling at everyone else if they so much as looked at him wrong and completely avoiding Jinu. Until Jinu takes it upon himself to get Abby to snap out of it.
“C’mon,” Jinu says to him one night after they’re done with practice for the day. “We’re going out.”
He doesn’t give Abby time to react, to object, just grabs him by the hood of his jacket and drags him out the door. Jinu brings him to a restaurant near their dorm. A late-night supper place, where they eat warm bowls of ramyun and spicy tteokbokki.
Abby chooses to hold a silent protest about being dragged here, eating without looking at Jinu at all. The food is good, though. Damn Jinu. He knows this is one of Abby’s favourite supper spots.
“Food is good?” Jinu asks, amusement in his voice.
“What’s so funny?” Abby demands, breaking his vow of silence.
“You just…can’t ever hide how much you love good food,” Jinu says, smile softening. Abby looks away. “And it’s nice, watching you eat well.”
“So, I’m a pig, is what you’re saying.”
“Well…as long as you’re a happy pig, what’s wrong with that?”
Abby growls, but it’s half-hearted, and soon enough, he finds himself saying, “I’m sorry about how I’ve been acting the past few days. It’s just…”
Just what? Just hard, knowing that Jinu and Rumi are, perhaps, destined to be together? Shipped by the fans, favoured by the universe?
“I really am sorry, Abby,” Jinu says, and he’s so earnest, so sincere, it makes Abby want to scream. It’s not about the fucking web drama, for god’s sake. “I don’t know why they were so intent on me. I know you’d be great in that role too.”
“It’s okay,” Abby says. “It’s not your fault.”
In all honesty, it might be Abby’s fault, after all. Since he was the one who unintentionally confirmed RuJinu for all the fans.
And because he’s finding it hard to continue looking at Jinu’s apologetic, sincere face, he tries to lighten the mood by saying, “And as long as you buy me food like this every day for the next three weeks, I’ll let it slide.”
That brings a grin to Jinu’s face. “See? You are a pig.”
“Yeah, yeah. So? Food or no food?”
Jinu laughs. The sound both warms and pierces Abby to his core. “Food, of course. Anything to make you happy.”
===
It’s late when Jinu and Abby get back to the dorm. Abby goes straight to his room, yawning, ready to go to bed. Jinu lingers in the living room for a moment, watching Abby go, until the door clicks shut behind him.
“So?” Romance calls over his shoulder, from where he’s seated on the sofa watching TV. “Managed to fix his temper tantrum?”
Jinu, feeling oddly defensive about Abby, says, “It wasn’t a temper tantrum.”
He doesn’t have to see Romance’s face to know he’s rolling his eyes. “Yeah, whatever it is, I hope you managed to snap him out of it.”
Jinu joins Romance on the sofa. The TV is on some drama that was released a while back. Something about tangerines? “I didn’t know he would be so upset about not getting the role,” Jinu confesses.
Romance’s gaze flicks to him. Holds for a beat too long. Jinu gets a sudden distinct feeling that he’s said something wrong. “What?”
“Well,” Romance says, gaze flicking back to the TV. “Do you remember how he got rejected from it? Because of a shipping fandom? I think I’d be pretty upset if I were him.”
“Hm,” Jinu says. “Was he not just upset about not getting the role?”
It’s subtle, but Jinu notices the way Romance stiffens. He’s known Romance long enough to catch him in a lie. To discern when he’s hiding something.
“How would I know?” Romance says in the end, keeping his gaze on the TV. “Who knows what’s going on through that man’s head? And stop interrupting my drama, please.”
Jinu doesn’t continue pressing. But he files away the conversation for later reviewing. As he heads to his room, he pauses at Abby’s door for a moment. Wonders if it’s Abby he should be pressing, not Romance. But they’ve just made up, and he doesn’t want to invoke another Abby wrath so soon. So, he simply continues on to his room, deciding to just observe how Abby is over the next few days.
Unbeknownst to Jinu, Abby was still awake, lying in bed, listening to the muffled murmurs of Jinu and Romance’s voices. He hears when Jinu gets up. When he pauses at Abby’s door. He holds his breath, half of him wanting Jinu to come in, the other half praying he doesn’t. Jinu moves on, back to his room. Abby releases the breath he was holding. Slumps back in bed and wonders how the hell he’s going to dig himself out of this.