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Eiden hands Edmond a glass of water. “Are you all right?”
“Mm.” Edmond takes a long drink. “I will be fine.”
“You still seem…off. Want me to walk you to your room?” Eiden rests the back of his hand on Edmond’s forehead, reminiscent of all the times an adult did so for him when he was younger and feeling ill.
“I suppose it wouldn’t hurt.” Edmond’s sigh is deep and distressed. “I haven’t felt quite right ever since…that incident.”
Meaning the time everyone thought he was pregnant. Eiden raises an eyebrow but says nothing else. There’s something Edmond isn’t saying. Usually Eiden would press him on it, but for some reason, he feels awkward about it. Instead, he puts an arm around Edmond’s waist and gently steers him toward his room.
As soon as he pushes the door open, they hear the sound of someone getting sick. Edmond cringes hard enough Eiden can feel it. Cautiously, they approach the toilet, where the door stands half open. Rei is on the floor, kneeling. He glares up at the pair of them right before he gets sick again.
Eventually, he sits back and runs a shaking hand over his lips. His eyes are narrow slits. “This is all your fault,” he tells Edmond.
“Me? How on earth—” Edmond shoves Eiden forward a little. “How is it not his fault?”
Rei’s laugh is humorless. “Because the grand sorcerer and I haven’t fucked in several weeks.”
Edmond splutters, unable to come up with any kind of response to that. Eiden tries valiantly to hide his laughter, with marginal success.
“I have no idea what any of that has to do with this, other than—” Eiden feels the blood drain from his face. “You—you’re—oh, my god. You’re pregnant?”
By this point, Rei is on his feet again, rinsing his mouth and washing his hands. He gives Edmond another sour look then turns to Eiden and nods.
“I think I need to sit down,” Eiden mutters.
“Yes, wise choice,” Edmond murmurs back.
Once the three of them are seated at Edmond’s table, there’s a long silence. Eiden is reminded of the initial concern he had for Edmond, but he isn’t sure how to bring it up without pissing off one or both of the others.
Instead, he blurts, “How is this possible?”
“Essence,” Rei says.
“O-okay, I get that. But then why hasn’t it happened before?”
“Because you are the only Grand Sorcerer who has exchanged essence with us in this particular fashion,” Rei explains. “And encouraged a number of other…exchanges…among the clan.”
Ah. Well, that does make some sense, Eiden supposes. He wonders if he should leave these two alone to say whatever they need to each other. While he’s pondering this, Edmond speaks up.
“I,” he says, then purses his lips. He closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose. “I am also expecting.”
Not entirely surprising. Eiden nods, feeling slightly numb. The pair of them both pregnant at the same time seems like a recipe for trouble, but he’s not going to call attention to it.
“I assume that one is mine,” he says.
“Of course it is!” Edmond snaps. “What other fraudulent Grand Sorcerer do you think I’ve been having intimate relations with?”
“Well, you and Rei…” Eiden trails off at a glare from both of them.
“This is a good time for you to make your exit,” Rei says.
“But—”
Rei gives him a pitying look. “We’ll sort things out.”
Nodding, Eiden rises from his seat. At the door, he pauses and glances back to see the others resting their heads together and whispering. They will be all right; they have each other. And naturally, Eiden will do everything in his power to help them.
He needs to find somewhere to be other than alone in his room. After rejecting the library due to lack of ability to concentrate on a book, he wanders toward the kitchen. He’s not feeling particularly hungry, but there should be people there to take his mind off things.
Instead of a peaceful scene of cooking or tidying up, he stumbles on Yakumo and, oddly, Olivine, who should be at the temple at this hour. Yakumo is tearful, and Olivine has his arms folded across his chest.
“I don’t know!” he’s saying. “It just hurts.”
“I-I didn’t mean it!” Yakumo wails.
“I know, I know. I’m not angry with you.”
Yakumo steps closer, obviously trying to hug Olivine, who immediately tenses and backs up. Alarmed, Eiden intercedes.
“Are you both okay?” he asks.
“Ah, erm, yes,” Olivine says, avoiding eye contact.
“I didn’t mean to hurt your chest!” Yakumo sinks into a chair and sobs.
That’s a bit much even for him. Eiden sits next to him and absently pats his back while looking up at Olivine and trying to figure out what his expression means. His face is bright red, and he looks almost panicked.
“I can’t believe I’m asking this, but is something wrong with your piercings?” Eiden cringes even as the words leave his mouth.
“No, no. Nothing like that.” Olivine is still frozen in place.
Withdrawing his hand from Yakumo’s back, Eiden scrubs his face. “I can’t believe I’m asking this either, but…are you…uh. By any chance are you pregnant?”
Yakumo yelps, and Olivine opens and closes his mouth with no sound coming out. Eiden looks back and forth between them for several tense seconds before speaking again.
“Well?” he demands, straightaway regretting his tone when Yakumo shrinks away from him.
“How did you know?” Olivine asks, sliding into a chair across from the others.
Eiden doesn’t especially want to reveal Edmond’s or Rei’s situation, but seeing them with unusual symptoms and heightened emotions definitely led him to consider the possibility here as well.
“I just had a feeling,” Eiden says.
“I only discovered it a couple of days ago,” Olivine tells him. His gaze flicks to Yakumo. “It’s…ours.” He gestures between himself and Yakumo.
“I figured.”
Yakumo sniffles, and Eiden passes him a handkerchief. “Th-thank you, Mr. Eiden.” Tearfully, he takes Olivine’s hand. “I didn’t have the chance to tell you yet…”
“You too?” Eiden practically hollers.
“Uwaaaah!” Yakumo jumps so hard his rear end leaves his seat. “I-I-I—eep!” He covers his face with the handkerchief, crying again.
“Oh, dear,” Olivine says. “Well, this is unexpected.”
As far as Eiden is concerned, that’s the understatement of the year. He shoves his chair back and stands, half wishing he had gone anywhere else. The library is sounding like a much better idea now. Since he can’t take his mind off any of this, he can at least research it.
“I’ll just leave you two to work things out,” he says, rushing out of the kitchen before either of them can say another word.
Eiden mutters to himself all the way to the library. At some point, with four pregnant clan members, they’re going to have to make a plan to deal with all of this. For the moment, he needs to find out how this world handles pregnant men.
Mercifully, the library is silent when he arrives. Taking a few calming breaths, Eiden makes his way among the shelves, searching for anything that will give him a clue or help him formulate a strategy. His hand is on the spine of a promising book when he hears a soft snore from the corner.
“Do shut up,” comes the response.
Eiden rolls his eyes. Quincy napping in the library wouldn’t have been a bother, but Kuya picking fights with him because he snored is another story. Why is he so irritated, anyway? Can’t he just find some other napping location if he doesn’t like it?
Unable to stop himself, Eiden slowly peers around the shelf. Quincy is sprawled in one of the plush chairs, and Kuya is…in his lap? Eiden has to think of as many unfunny things as possible to avoid being scorched as a result of poorly timed laughter.
Even so, Kuya turns his steely gaze on him and bares a fang. Eiden shudders and steps back. The tension in the air is so thick it’s almost crackling.
“I was just going! To read this!” Eiden holds up the book.
Too late, he realizes that the title is visible: Thirteen Ways to Manage Early Pregnancy Symptoms in Men. He attempts to hide it, but it’s clear both of the others have now seen it. Quincy sighs out a “troublesome” while Kuya’s expression grows darker. It’s not aimed at Eiden, for once.
“Did you reveal information that was for our ears only, old friend?” Kuya has a claw under Quincy’s chin.
“No.”
“Then how would you explain this?” Kuya holds out his hand for the book, which Eiden reluctantly deposits in it.
“I don’t know.” Quincy’s eyes are closed again.
Even knowing exactly what’s coming, Eiden still asks, “What information?”
Kuya narrows his eyes. “Either you are indeed exactly as stupid as I’ve suspected, or there is some other reason why you would ask such a question.”
“He doesn’t know,” Quincy says without opening his eyes.
Eiden is frankly shocked Kuya doesn’t seem to be aware of any of the others. Since he would like to have his skin remain intact, he doesn’t ask whether it’s Kuya or Quincy—or both—this time. Instead, he reaches for the book and backs away from them. The moment he’s out of the library, he makes a dash for it to find Aster. They need an emergency clan meeting as soon as possible.
An impossibly long hour later, Eiden, nine clan members, and two familiars are gathered in the library. Edmond and Rei are propping one another up, and Rei still looks ill. Yakumo is seated with Olivine, his hands squeezed between his knees. He’s no longer crying, but his eyes are puffy. Olivine is wearing a thick sweater. Quincy has his head resting on his fist, and Topper is menacing Kuya, who is ignoring both of them.
The remaining three clan members are seated together on a couch. Dante has his arm across the back, and Garu is seated between him and Blade, who looks cheerfully oblivious. Eiden is in a chair with the familiars in tiny form flanking him. He peers around the circle at the others, unsure where to begin. He clears his throat, but he doesn’t have words, so he does it again.
All eyes are on him.
“Uh,” he tries. “It’s come to my attention—that is—we have a situation that needs—ahem!”
Rei huffs. “If you’re going to tell them all that Edmond and I are both pregnant, just do it.” He gags but gets himself under control.
“I thought perhaps he was going to share our news,” Olivine replies. “It seems there’s quite a bit more going on.”
“Your…news…?” Edmond asks.
“Both Yakumo and I are also expecting.”
“Young master,” Kuya says, his eyes boring a hole into Eiden, “you might have started with that when you were here earlier.”
Quincy yawns. “I told you he didn’t know about us.”
The next five minutes are absolute chaos. There is everything from Olivine congratulating each person separately to Edmond demanding that someone—Eiden isn’t sure who—unhand him to Blade circulating among them so he can monitor heart rates and blood pressure. Everyone is talking at once. Eiden folds in on himself and lets it all wash over him.
When Aster has had enough, he flaps around the room demanding they all be quiet and start figuring out what they’re going to do about this. Eventually, they settle down, and eleven pairs of eyes focus on Eiden.
“Can we at least determine how this happened?” he asks.
Rei, who at some point took out a notebook and began writing in it, jots something down. “My theory is that this household has an unusual abundance of essence. In the past, we did not live together for any length of time between missions. Not only that, Huey did not regulate our essence by way of sexual relations.” His cheeks redden. “We also were not prone with each other to more than a casual—”
Edmond slaps a hand over his mouth. “Enough! None of us need the details.”
“I wmmn’t grrn—” He tugs Edmond’s hand off. “—give details. But it would help to know exactly who is having a baby with whom.”
There’s a pause, and Eiden watches everyone lower their gazes and blush. He already knows that Edmond’s is his, and Rei is pregnant with Edmond’s child. Olivine’s is reasonably easy to guess as well. As for the rest, he can’t say with certainty.
Before anyone else speaks, he happens to glance at Dante, who is unusually quiet and has gone a bit pale. He’s shifted so his posture is closed off. Beside him, Garu’s tail has popped out, and he’s wiggling it enthusiastically. Eiden frowns, not sure what to make of either of them.
“I have something to say,” Dante finally says. When the murmuring stops, he continues. “I am also with child.”
Eiden gapes at him.
“Who—” he covers his mouth with both hands.
Slowly he lowers them and looks at each person. When he reaches Quincy, he sees the faint pink on his cheeks and the way he keeps glancing up at Dante and then averting his eyes. Oh, boy.
Rei has been scribbling in his notebook the entire time. Without looking up, he summarizes what he’s been writing. “Along with notes on the parentage of each child, I have also included some additional information supplied by the e-droid. For example, Yakumo appears to have self-impregnated, perhaps as a result of essence exposure.”
Yakumo’s face turns several competing shades of red at this, and he lets out a sob.
Continuing, Rei smirks when he says, “The giant and the fox inseminated one another.”
“You should be certain to lock your door tightly tonight,” Kuya snaps at him.
“Judging from their reactions, it would appear that one also fathered the Sun Lord’s child.” Rei motions at Quincy.
“You—you—” Dante splutters. “I should rip that book out of your hands and destroy it!”
“Geez, Dante. What’s gotten into you?” Eiden says.
“Quincy, apparently,” Olivine says mildly.
Dante looks ready to explode.
“M-master?” Garu says. His eyes are still bright, but the motion of his tail has slowed. “There’s something Karu wants me to tell you.”
Eiden groans. He supposes he should be glad only two of the babies are his. He quickly realizes he needs to reassure Garu that everything is fine, even though this feels about a thousand miles from “fine.”
“It’s okay,” he says. “Are you feeling all right?”
“I’m good!” Garu grins, looking relieved.
“So that makes eight,” Eiden says. Unless… “Oh. Oh, god. Blade…?”
“Don’t worry, Darling! E-droids can’t get pregnant or get anyone pregnant.”
“Neither can familiars,” Aster informs him.
Well, that’s a relief. “One question. Rei, how come I’m not also—?”
Rei taps the pencil on his lips. “I would need to study further, but I assume since it’s your—or rather your inherited—essence that caused all this, you are probably immune in some way.”
Eiden nods, feeling faint. Eight babies, all to be born within a month of each other. He has no idea where to go from here.
“May I suggest,” Rei adds, “that we sleep on it and then carry on as normal for now? At least until the first few weeks pass and most of us are feeling better. Then we can decide what to do.”
As this seems to be the general consensus, the meeting begins to break up. Edmond and Rei retreat to one of their rooms, and Eiden doesn’t miss the way Edmond places a comforting hand on Rei’s lower back. Quincy unceremoniously scoops Kuya up princess style and tilts his head at Dante, who reluctantly follows them. Yakumo kisses Olivine’s fingers and helps him up, carefully avoiding where he’s sensitive. Garu gives Eiden a hug, but he joins Blade, most likely for their usual bedtime story together.
Eiden stands slowly, still turning all of this over in his mind. Aster and Morvay follow him back to his room, but they hover in the doorway.
“It’ll be all right,” Morvay says. “I don’t know a lot about babies, but I can learn.”
It almost makes Eiden emotional. He rubs Morvay’s fur affectionately and gives Aster a little cuddle.
“Get some rest, Master,” Aster tells him. “We’ll figure it out.”
Eiden retreats to his room and closes the door. He lies down on the bed without changing, staring up at the ceiling. Eight babies! He supposes he can be grateful it isn’t all nine clan members. Maybe e-droids are good at child rearing.
He puts his hands behind his head and closes his eyes. Just as he’s drifting off, there’s a noise at his window. He sits up, heart pounding, until he realizes it’s just Rin. He flops back on the bed. Rin is probably the last person he would choose to talk to about this, but he decides maybe it’ll put things into perspective.
“It’s been a crazy day,” he says. “You’ll never guess what happened.”
Rin’s lips curl up into a mischievous smile. “I want to hear all about it. But first, Brother, I have some news for you.”
Eiden sits back up, ready to hear whatever it is. But one look at Rin, and the only thing he can think to say is…
“Oh. Shit.”