Work Text:
Grian was sketching an infant for his human anatomy class and started to fantasize about having babies of his own. He and Scar loved pretending they were going to get Grian knocked up. Something about it was just unbelievably hot to them both. Grian knew Scar did want a family. One day, when school and internships and debt wasn't a problem. He wanted that, too. They'd talked a couple times in a not very serious way about them having a future together beyond that, even. Even though it was Grian's first year in college and Scar's second, the after just seemed so far away.
Getting a house... in a nice neighborhood... adopting cats Scar's always talked about... having children...
Grian leaned back and looked at his sketch again. A baby...
He was reminded of the night just before when Scar pulled on his hair and told him he was gonna put a baby in him.
Grian shuddered, closing his eyes. He imagined it working.
But the fantasy was cut off quickly with his rational brain yelling, “Don't worry! I got you! You took the pill that morning!” and it made Grian pause.
Wait. Did he?
He immediately jumped up out of his desk chair and ran to their bathroom. In his pill container, yes, the W slot for Wednesday was empty. He did take birth control.
Grian let out a breath and chuckle at his own dramatics and picked up the bottle the pills are in. He absentmindedly read the label.
“Not 100% guaranteed”.
Yeah... but...
Surely there was no reason to worry, he was being silly. Basically 100% was just as good as a real 100%, right? No miracle had taken place for him to panic over.
…He reached for his phone and pulled up Scar’s contact. His wonderful boyfriend answered right away. “Well hello there, love!”
Grian smiled softly, quick heartbeat calming a little. “Hey Scar, could you do me a favor?”
“But of course,” Scar chuckled, “oh, by the way! I forgot if you said you wanted a number 12 or a 13.”
“A 13.” Grian answered, his stomach rumbling at the thought of the chicken sandwich he’d be getting soon. He felt bad for sending Scar out for fast food and now potentially scaring him.
“So what do you need, darlin’?” Scar asked, his voice all bubbly and flirty.
Grian took a nervous deep breath. “...could you um… pick up a pregnancy test?”
Scar was so glad he was at a red light. He could've crashed the car at that. “What was that?!”
He heard Grian take another breath through speaker phone. “It's just... sorry- sorry- it's definitely nothing but I was just thinking about how we've been having fun lately and then I was looking at the bottle of my pills and it says not guaranteed to prevent pregnancy and it's definitely nothing but-” he took a breath, having lost all his air. “I'm just. Nervous.”
Scar nodded even though Grian couldn't see him. “Yeah, yeah okay.” He felt a bit more calm knowing this was coming from a place of irrationality at least which is ironic. “That's no problem. Should I go now, dinner can wait-”
“No, please, I'm still hungry. After you pick up the food, stop at the store and just buy one- or two- really fast.” He could tell Grian was pacing. “Oh jeez I'm sorry, Scar.”
“No, don't be. It's okay. I'll be home as soon as I can.” He bit back the 'stress is bad for the baby' cause it made his heart rate pick up too fast.
“Okay. Love you.”
“Love you too. It's okay.” Scar hung up and pulled into the drive thru. He tried not think about how Grian sending him out in the first place might be early pregnancy cravings.
Scar got back to their shared dorm and immediately rushed to hug Grian. He had their takeout in one hand and a little grocery back in the other, but he still held Grian so softly. “Hi baby,” he whispered.
Grian exhaled shakily as he clung to his boyfriend. He was still nervous, but Scar being here now really helped. “H-hi…”
“Let’s eat first, okay?” Scar said softly as he pulled back from the hug. He slid the grocery bag up his arm to tuck Grian’s hair behind his ear. Grian nodded in agreement, trying to steady his breathing.
After only one bite, Grian sighed. “I can't wait. I'm doing it now.” He pushed his food to the side and stood up, grabbing the bag.
“Are you sure?” Scar asked.
“I have to pee anyway.” Grian half lied. He was sure he could get some out but he didn't have to go.
Scar caught his wrist, “Should- should I be in there with you?”
Grian looked at him fondly. “Just give me a minute. We can wait together for it to work.” He pat the hand and went in the bathroom, closing the door behind him.
Scar fiddled nervously, unable to eat his food either. He chuckled though when he heard Grian ask, “Why did you buy seven?!”
Grian came out of the bathroom just a minute later with the test in hand. It still needed a couple minutes for the result to be clear, but Grian couldn’t sit alone for that long, and didn't want to. He set it down and washed his hands before coming over to sit next to Scar on the couch. He took a nervous breath.
“...I think I do want to have kids.” Grian said softly, leaning into his boyfriend. “Just not yet. But...” he looked up at Scar, his eyes warm. “The thought of having a family with you…”
Scar put his arm around him. “We haven't really talked about it before. Our future together.” It felt hard to breathe and he took the test in Grian's hands and flipped it over. “I don't wanna see it form. We'll flip it over in-” he took out his phone. “It's been two minutes since you peed on it?”
“Yeah- peed- Scar, don't touch it!” Grian couldn't help but giggle.
“And the test said up to three. So-” he started a timer for two. Grian raised an eyebrow. “Just in case.”
Grian nodded and leaned into him. “...Our future. A baby is a future.”
“It is.” He tried to keep his hands still where they wrapped around Grian. “I want kids, too. One day.”
Grian cuddled his face in Scar’s shoulder. “How many would you want?”
“Hmm..” Scar tilted his head. “I think maybe two.”
A big smile spread on Grian’s face. “Me too.” He ran his hand up Scar’s chest. “You’d be a good girl-dad I think.” He loved the mental image of a little girl with her arms around Scar’s neck, and they both looked down at a baby in Scar’s arms.
Scar hummed softly, smiling too. “Y’think so?” He looked down at Grian, eyes sparkling.
“Yeah.” Grian smiled, still buzzing with nerves.
Scar put his hands on Grian's lower belly and held him close. “Mm…” His eyes dimmed a bit. “But I'm not ready.”
Grian put his hands over Scar's and threaded their fingers together. “Me neither…” It was only his first year of college. They both had so little. And so much to do. “I'm scared, Scar.”
Scar couldn't hide the way his hands shook a bit, not like this. And he couldn't lie. “Me too. But, if this does happen, I'll be here.”
Grian gave a grateful smile and kissed Scar’s shoulder. “Thank you.” He exhaled shakily. “I love you.”
“I love you too, birdie.” He pressed a kiss to Grian’s hair. The timer went off and both of them tensed. Scar pressed the button on it and took a nervous breath of his own. “Well…?”
Grian swallowed and reached for the pregnancy test.
…
One line.
Not two.
Grian and Scar both sagged with relief against the couch.
“Oh, thank god.” Grian moaned, rubbing his hand over his face.
Scar set it to the side and pulled Grian completely to his chest. “You're not…”
“I'm not…” Grian buried his face in Scar's cotton shirt. The word still felt too big. He gripped the fabric. “I'm sorry, Scar. For stressing us both out.” He felt so stupid now, that dumb “Not 100% guaranteed” having haunted him.
“Don’t you dare apologize.” Scar lightly chastised. “It’s a valid worry!” He took a breath and kissed Grian’s head again.
“Still…” Grian huffed. “Maybe I should look into getting one of those birth control patches.”
Scar nodded. “Yeah that’s a good idea.” He ran his hand up and down on Grian’s arm. “For now though… do you wanna finish eating?”
As if on cue, Grian’s stomach rumbled loudly. He blushed in embarrassment, a giggle fluttering out of him. He felt so silly now, after being stressed for an entire hour and then it turned out that everything was fine.
Scar chuckled and shook out his hands, visibly trying to shake off his nerves. He handed Grian his food back and they settled in. “...It's sort of a reality check. Which I think I needed.” Scar started.
Grian picked up a fry. “Yeah?”
Scar shifted to sit criss cross. “The whole drive and the whole time at the store–I bought you chocolate by the way-”
“I saw that, thank you-”
“-I was just thinking about how my life would change right now if I became a dad. I tried doing the math in my head and one of us would definitely have had to drop out.”
Grian felt his throat close up.
“And we both still have student debts. We don't have the money to buy somewhere to live, with three bodies.” He tried to stay calm, because it wasn't coming true. Grian wasn't pregnant. But all the fears he'd held back in the last hour came to the front of his mind now that he didn't have to be strong. “And I don't know how to raise a baby. I'm still just a kid, Grian!”
Grian could see tears start to form in his pretty green eyes.
Grian nodded, tears finding his own eyes as he saw Scar’s. He reached up and cupped his face. “I know… I know Scar…” he took a shaky breath. “It’s all gonna be okay.”
“I know it is…” Scar sniffled softly, leaning into Grian’s hand. “It still scary, y’know…?”
“Yeah.” Grian swallowed. “I-I know…”
“Oh god, and that’s not even to mention what you would be going through…” Scar huffed, trying to calm his tears. “You’d have to carry the baby and deal with the symptoms and everything and…”
Grian silently pulled him into a tight hug.
They sat together, crying and rocking. Scared, relieved, d-
Disappointed.
Grian huffed between light sobs. “Am I crazy for feeling sad? That, um, it wasn't positive I mean?” Don't hate him.
Scar gulped and moved his hand through Grian's hair. “No, you're not crazy. ...I get it. Despite everything, there's a small part of me that's disappointed, too.”
Grian held his face. “Biology, huh?”
Scar smiled back, wobbly. “Love, huh?”
Grian nodded. “Love.” He remembered when Scar said it to him the first time. It’d been such a soft gentle night, when they were just lying together and reading something on Grian’s phone. They were still at camp, with all of their campers already asleep. Grian had giggled at something really stupid, but Scar looked at him with fond eyes and told him he loved him.
“I love you so much,” Grian said softly, “you’re the most amazing person in the whole wide world.”
“Griannnnnnn..” Scar whined.
“I mean it, Scar.” Grian touched their foreheads together. “You don't know what it means to me how you acted the last hour and a half. You stayed by my side, and was going to stay by my side even if this scary thing happened.”
“Of course I would.” Scar's brows furrowed.
“And that's why you're amazing.” A tear slipped down Grian's cheek. “Most guys our age wouldn’t do that.” he then huffed softly, wiping his face. “Trust me… I know.”
“What do you mean…?” Scar’s frown deepened in his confusion.
“My uh… my mum.” Grian cleared his throat from the frog forming in it. “She was our age when she had me, and my–” he huffed– “my ‘dad’ did not stick around.”
Scar frowned. “Well excuse my language then but he sounds like a piece of shit.”
“Scar!” Grian smiled, lightly slapping his chest. “Oh my god!” It was hot when Scar swore or defended his honor.
“I mean it.” Scar didn't let up. “There's a thing called responsibility. And obligation.” He sighed. “It... Jesus, you're not a burden, and please don't take it that way or I'll cry-”
Grian giggled.
“-But if you were carrying a baby, you'd be my responsibility. I'd never, ever, even think of walking away.”
Grian watched him, full of fondness. “You're a good one, Scar.”
“It’s the bare minimum,” Scar shrugged, smiling a little anyway. “But thank you.”
Grian hummed and kissed him softly. “It’s still very sexy.” He giggled.
“Yeah? How sexy?” Scar smirked.
Grian let his mind wander a moment instead. Scar would be the perfect partner to have while pregnant. To have while raising a young one. It felt simultaneously so hard and so easy to imagine it.
“We should have a baby.” Grian told him.
Scar choked.
Grian laughed and helped him breathe. “Sorry- that was- sorry-” he tried to stop laughing. “I don't mean now. Obviously, not now”
“O-Obviously-” Scar coughed, his face bright red.
“I meant- in the future. Maybe it's too early to feel so strongly, but... right now that's what I want for the future.”
In that moment, Scar could almost see the grey in Grian's hair, the crows feet next to his eyes and a ring on his finger. “The future.” They’d only been seriously dating for less than a year now, friends before all that, but it felt so right to Scar, too. He could almost hear the sound of little feet or laughter distantly. Very distantly.
He laughed to himself, disbelieving and almost dizzy. “I can't wait to open this conversation up again when we’ve both graduated.” There was no ‘and if we're still together then’, it would be unnecessary of an addition. Both were rightfully hopeful that day.
Grian nodded, equally hopeful and kissed his love.