Chapter Text
“Oh my god..” Bucky chokes as he runs towards Steve's hospital room, he’d sprinted down to the medbay after getting Nat's cryptic text message. ‘Emergency. Steve. Medbay’
After bursting into the medical room, Bucky finds himself staring
down
at their shrunken Husband. Once standing at a proud six feet, has been reduced to five foot four, and looking like he weighs 90 pounds soaking wet,
if even that
. Bruce has his stethoscope pressed against Steve's back as the others gawk, passing security and doctors of the med bay rubbernecking as they pass.
Steve on the other hand looks miserable, he's in ill fitted boxers, wrapped in a thin medical blanket. His face is flushed red in embarrassment, his eyes glazed with unshed tears. Bottom lip bitten and raw. He feels like an animal behind glass as his partners watch over him, and doctors seem to just stand and stare through the window into his medical room. Once Bruce is finally done with the stethoscope he quickly pulls the blanket up over his head, only allowing his face to show.
“Your you again-” Bucky manages to croak, eyes trailing over Steve's rapidly wilting posture, “Shit- I mean, what happened sweetheart?” He nudges past Nat and Clint, sitting beside Steve on the bed. Steve glances up, shaking his head.
“It started on the way back from our mission, he’d gotten hit with a ray of god knows what.” Natasha chimes in, the shock finally gone from her face, “We got the weapon he was hit with, I’ll bring it down to Tony and Bruce’s lab after…we get this situated.” Bucky nods along, only half listening as he moves a trembling hand towards Steve's cheek. The poor thing startles, looking up at Bucky, baby blues glistening with unshed tears.
“Oh, sweetheart it’s gonna be alright-”
“No it's not!” Steve shouts, spooking everyone from their worried haze. “Look at me, I'm not supposed to be strong. I-I’m supposed to be Captain America now, not the skinny kid from Brooklyn..” He sniffles, rubbing his nose with the blanket, trying to hold himself high and proud. But ultimately failing since he looks so upset, the prideful facade breaking with the tremble of his plush pink bottom lip. “Look at me!”
“I am looking at you..” Bucky's gaze softens, pulling the blanket back from Steve's head, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. “I see you, the strong, beautiful guy I fell in love with. No matter how your body changes, big or small, I still see you.” A half smile graces Steve's lips, leaning into Bucky, resting his hand on his. Bucky gently holds Steve's hand, letting it rest on his palm. His breath catches, the sight reminding him of the past, slow dances, intimate nights, lazy mornings. Things they could share again, outside of Bucky’s fuzzy memories.
Steve looks up when Bruce finishes scribbling on his notepad, “So, am I..?”
“You’re exactly how you were back in the 40’s, physically. But luckily you seem to have remained the same mentally, no memory loss or anything like that.” Bruce hums, tilting Steve's chin, gently turning his face to do one final check of his eyes. “I have a nurse checking for your old medical records, just so I can get medications ordered.” Steve nods, awkwardly ringing his hands together, gaze not fully meeting Bruce’s as he's handed shield logo clothes to change into now that his uniform is three sizes too big.
“No need, I can tell you everything.” Bucky cuts in, “want me to write a list..?”
Bruce's eyebrows raise in surprise, “I mean, if you’re sure you remember everything-”
“I used to sit by his bedside while he’d have his
year round
sickness’, I remember all of it. Trust me.” Bruce nods, handing over his notepad. Eyes slowly but surely getting wider as the list gets longer and longer. Asthma, scarlet fever, rheumatic fever, high blood pressure. Bucky sighs, his heart clenching at the memories of Steve struggling with these illnesses day by day, heart palpitations, fatigue, anemia, scoliosis, and the cherry on top, he’s
partially
deaf. Just an extra kick in the ass, his poor baby sick and aching, and to top it all off he couldn't even hear that well. Bucky remembers before him and Steve got together in the 40’s he used to mumble his praises and affections so only Steve could hear him.
He hands over the list, “Can the medications be delivered? I really want to get him home.” Bucky cups the back of Steve's neck, brushing the downy hairs on the back of his neck.
“Yeah, I can have them brought up to you and Steve’s floor once it’s ready.” Bruce sits on his stool, wheeling over to where Natasha is sitting nearby, typing out her mission debrief on one of Starks tablets, Clint leaning on her arm napping. “I’ll have it up there by 9am?”
“Yeah, Yeah that's fine. Uh– thanks for all your help Bruce. Take care Nat.” Bucky leans over to gently ruffle Natasha's hair, her lips quirk up into a half smile. Before leaving he pauses, turning on his heel “Wait- how did this even happen–”
Natasha frowns, “We aren't sure, I didn't see it firsthand I was focused on grabbing some data from the computers we found. But we’ll figure it out, promise.”
Bucky doesn’t seem eased by the information but nods anyway, trying to stay positive for Steve's sake, “Okay, thanks...” After flashing a weak smile he quickly shuffles after Steve who seems to have already taken off down the hallway.
The walk from medbay to the elevator felt long, tedious. Steve was so unused to his old body that he struggled to maneuver himself like he used to. He pushes through, not wanting to worry bucky anymore than he already has, just the simple walk to the elevator takes his breath away. His spine makes this awful
crick
sound with every other step, and his feet
ache
like they did so long ago. Steve lulls his head from side to side, wincing as it pops.
“Stevie easy- you’re gonna hurt yourself doll..” He mumble’s, Bucky follows close behind Steve, his hands up in case Steve simply topples over. Steve notices, shooting a weak glare back over his shoulder.
“I'm not gonna break–” Steve's words crumble into a hoarse wheeze. “I can handle this,
again.”
He sighs, trying to hit the elevator button to take them up to their floor, frowning when he realizes he's a hair too short to reach. “
Damn Tony and his tall ass tower…”
Steve grumbles, pointing up towards the button.
Bucky smiles, tucking Steve close to his side, arm slung over Steve’s shoulders, grinning like a lovesick idiot. Steve on the other hand didn’t seem so amused, arms crossed, and his jaw set in silent anger. The elevator hums as it
wooshes
up the elevator shaft, giving a soft chime as they arrive on their floor. Before Bucky can get a word in, Steve scrambles out of the elevator and locks himself in the bathroom, leaving Bucky staring in the direction he went from the doorway. He furrows his brow, making his way to the bathroom door and giving a quick knock.
“You okay doll?”
“M’fine…I just need a shower.” Steve mumbles, “Start a movie, I’ll join in a bit.”
“Okay,” Bucky's tone is laced with worry. “I love you.”
Steve doesn’t have it in him to respond. Making his way to the full body bathroom mirror. The shield issued clothing he had to change into at the medbay drowns his thin form. Before an XL shirt would stretch over the expanse of his pecs, showing off his defined muscles. Now the small shirt hangs off of him, the neckline dipping down almost to the top of his chest. He grabs the back of his shirt, pulling the fabric back to see his body shape. Cringing at the sight, his boney hips, ribs visible if he pulls tight enough. Sucking in a deep breath he pulls his top off, his hands wandering down his own chest and concave tummy.
He mentally counts the moles and freckles on his chest, turning to see his back in the mirror as his stomach drops. That god forsaken curve in his back, visible as it used to be. An S shape snaking up his spine. Steve stifles a whimper, each subtle movement making his spine ache. Slowly he peels off the loose grey sweatpants, even his underwear is shield issued. His pants pool around thin ankles, up to his knobby knees and smooth thin thighs. Steve frowns, eyebrow drawn low, furrowed. He decides to finally rip his undies off, mentally bracing himself. His body, his
old
self staring back at him fills him with dread. Even his dick had reverted, not that it was that big to begin with. Steve turns, looking at himself from behind.
“My ass is gone, I'm all skin and bones…
again
.” Steve mumbles as he steps up into the shower, turning it as hot as it’ll go. Letting the water burn trails down his pale skin. He can't help but let his mind wander, Bucky didn’t seem upset by the change, he’d reassured him of that in the medbay. But how long would it take to revert this, hell he didn't even know if it
could
be reverted, and the thought that it couldn't be was terrifying. He didn’t intend for any of this to happen, the mission was going so well. He and Natasha had infiltrated a small warehouse that had been used for smuggling weapons. What they hadn’t expected was to find a lab in the warehouse. Natasha had started grabbing hard drives, and phones, getting whatever information she could. But Steve just
had
to start touching things, he just couldn’t help it, the lab looked straight out of the movies. Weapons with tubing and colorful liquids swirling within them, things were glowing and beeping. But Steve was drawn to an unsuspecting green stone, surrounded by wires and a few buttons, sitting on the workbench. All he remembers was touching it and a sudden blast of light, before he woke up in the medbay. He’s shaken from his thoughts as the hot water starts to hurt, the hot water making his skin go from rosy pink to a harsh red.
Steve grabs a towel quickly scrambling out of the shower, looking at himself in the mirror once more. “I look like a boiled lobster..” while he would’ve preferred getting into his soft pajama pants Tony got him as a gag gift last Christmas, he’s sure the colorful fuzzy pants would drown him. Steve grumbles, pulling the itchy shield issued clothing back on, the textures rubbing him the wrong way. Trying to ignore it for now, he readies himself, taking a deep breath as he goes out to the living room to join Bucky on the couch. Before he even gets over to the couch he hears the tell tale snoring, he leans over the back on the couch seeing Bucky slumped against the cushions, the remote barely hanging on at the edge of his fingertips. Steve smiles a little, moving the remote and taking his usual spot curled under Bucky's arm, moving slowly so he doesn’t wake his sleeping husband.
He presses his nose to Bucky's chest, breathing in the musky scent of his cologne. Steve startles when Bucky moves, lifting his hand up to rub Steve's back. If Steve was a cat he’d be purring, the feeling of Bucky's calloused hand rubbing down his aching back, somehow in his half asleep haze applying the perfect amount of pressure to his curved spine. A soft pleased moan slips past Steve's lips, finally allowing himself to relax in Bucky’s embrace. Bucky’s eyes crack open a bit at the sound, he mumbles unintelligibly shifting Steve to the side to pull his jacket, and his metal arm off. Unceremoniously dumping both beside the couch before dragging Steve up to lay on top of him.
The only words Steve manages to catch is a soft grumble of, “missed this...” Steve's breath catches, to be fair they hadn’t been able to cuddle like this in a while, these days they tend to just flop into bed too exhausted to make an effort to cuddle. And when they did, even with the super soldier strength, Bucky couldn’t sleep through the night with Steve’s entire super soldier weight pressing down on his chest. Bucky throws his arm up and over Steve's hips, rubbing circles into Steve's hip bone with his thumb. “G’night baby..” Bucky mumbles before his head lulls back against the cushions, snoring once more.
“Goodnight Buck, I love you..” He whispers into Bucky's chest, praying tomorrow he’d wake and he’d be himself again, strong enough to take on the world once more. Steve isn’t able to dwell on it long, before the soft rhythm of Bucky's heart lulls him to sleep.