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Сaitlyn looks at the mirror. A carelessly drawn cupcake is clearly visible on the fogged-up glass. She has no illusions about who drew it, so she smiles and leaves the bathroom.
— You are making me fall for your romantic side, Vi... Completely unfair.
— My romantic side? Hmm, love, you think I have one? I've never serenaded you under your window. — Vi was lying on the bed in her nightgown with a book in her hands and winked.
A snort of laughter escapes Caitlyn as she imagines her standing outside her window, trying to sing some sappy love song to serenade her. She can't help but tease Vi just a bit
— God, the image in my head right now is priceless. I can just picture you standing outside my window, singing some sappy, cheesy love song, and me looking down at you and wondering what the hell you're doing.
— Yeah, considering I don't have a musical ear... That would be a absolutely shame, dear...
Caitlyn snorts again, her body shaking with stifled laughter at the thought of Vi trying, and likely failing, to sing a song from beneath her window. She lifts her head to look at Vi again, mirth dancing in her eyes
— Oh God, don't even get me started. I'm just imagining you trying to carry a tune... and failing horribly. It's a disaster waiting to happen, love. I'm saving both you and my ears from the horror of you trying to sing.
— Oh, yeah? Blue-haireееd beauty from Piltoооооver, you stооооole myyyy heart. — Vi started to fake hum.
A strangled, choked sound escapes Caitlin as her attempt at a hum transforms into that godawful song, her face going slightly pale as she listens. It's clear from the look on her face that she's torn between horror and laughter, Vi's terrible 'singing' sending her into a mix of amusement and dread. She quickly reaches up, clapping her hand over Vi's mouth to stop the noise before it can go further
— Ah, God no. Stop that, for the love of all that is good in this world. No more. Do you seriously think you sing well? Baby, you sing like a deaf crow being strangled... This is... Jesus...
— Oh, I'm a good singer, aren't I? I came up with that song myself. — Vi makes an exaggeratedly proud face and tries not to laugh. The twitching corners of her lips and the tightening grip on the book gave her away slightly.
Caytlin stares at Vi for a moment, her hand still pressed firmly over Vi's mouth, her face an absolute picture of horrified shock at the fact that Vi actually made up that monstrosity of a song
— You... you are many, many things, love. A good singer is definitely not one of them. And... you wrote that? That abomination? God, it's... it's horrifying. I'm pretty sure you just caused me some lasting trauma.
— Also, this song is about you, you get that, right? Who's the other blue-haired beauty? — Vi totally burst in laugh hiding her face in hands.
The fact that Vi's laughing like a madwoman now is the cherry on top, her eyes widening even further in bewildered horror as the realization of the song's true subject hits her like a freight train. And the sheer fact that Vi's still laughing at all of this makes her want to either hit her or kiss her, she's not exactly sure which yet
— You... you... you bastard. You wrote an absolute atrocious song about me. And you're still laughing about it.
— Yes... I also came up with an absolutely wonderful rhyme..... To the name Cait...
The horrified expression on her face only deepens further as Vi mentions an accompanying rhyme. The look in her eyes clearly says that Vi's just digging her own grave, but she's morbidly curious
— Oh God... oh God. Alright, alright, fine. Let's hear this 'absolutely wonderful rhyme' then. I bet it's even worse than the 'wonderful, lovely song' you already subjected me to.
— Okay, listen to... — Vi put on a completely serious expression and, after thinking for a couple of seconds, read a couple of lines with feeling.
Her name is Cait
She has irregular gait
Because at last night
She had a kind of bullfight
Caitlyn facepalms at the rhyme, groaning incredulously while shaking her head. The fact that she's actually finding Vi's terrible rhymes somewhat amusing only adds to her flustered frustration, her eyes narrowing at Vi
— Oh my God... you are absolutely, positively cruel. I do not have an irregular gait, I will have you know. And that last line... do not even try to make up a story about a bullfight. I swear to all that is good and holy, I will smother you with a pillow if you try to spin some lie about me fighting bulls.
— Oh, I mean the bullfight in the bed... So irregular gait suits to you very well...
Caitlyn can't help but let out a strangled, strangled mixture of a laugh and a groan of disbelief at the double entendre. The redness of her face only deepens at Vi's implication, and she tries in vain to regain her composure, her voice coming out in a half-stunned, half-amused huff
— Oh, I know exactly what kind of bullfight you mean, you bastard. I'm going to choke you with a pillow if you don't stop with the terrible jokes. And with the terrible rhymes!
— Dear, dear, it was just a joke...No punitive measures should be taken...
— Mmmph... a joke, you say. A damn awful, terrible joke, you mean. Seriously, I swear between that absolutely horrible song and these horrible rhymes... you're just lucky that I'm hopelessly in love with your dumb ass.
— Oh, I'm just a simple fightgirl from Zaun with Poetic gift...
— Oh please, you and your 'gift for poetry' are a menace. That song and those rhymes are a literal crime against my poor ears. And don't give me that innocent 'oh I'm just a simple fightgirl' act. You know exactly what you're doing to me, you sly bastard.
— Okay, I take it you don't want to hear the second verse of the song.
Caitlyn's eyes widen, half dreading and half fascinated at the mention of a second verse. The idea is both horrifying and hilarious at the same time, and she can't help but lean forward a bit, her voice still somewhat wary
— Wait, wait, there's a second verse to that godforsaken song? Oh, for the love of... part of me doesn't want to hear it, but part of me is morbidly curious. God help me, what's the second verse?"
Vi thought for a few seconds, frowning, but then her face brightened at the idea that had come to her
When Cait go shopping
She buy nuts without stopping
Because nuts
Looks like butts
Caitlyn just sits there, stunned, her face once again going pale at the words of the second verse. The horror and outrage in her eyes slowly, slowly morphs to a mixture of stunned disbelief and reluctant amusement. The fact that Vi actually wrote another godforsaken rhyme is both unbelievable and absolutely hilarious
— Oh... oh my god. Are you trying to give me an aneurysm? That... that second verse is somehow worse than the first. And did you seriously rhyme 'butts' with nuts? What in the hell is wrong with you, love?
— Oh, I'm in distress... I think last verse will be better?
Caitlyn just sighs at Vi's question. The thought of another godforsaken verse is both horrifying and morbidly interesting, and she finds herself both dreading and yet also desperately wanting to know what absolute garbage Ve'd come up with for the final verse
— Oh, for the love of... alright, fine. Go ahead, you menace. Go on and share the final verse. I'm either going to hit you with a pillow or kiss you so damn hard you'll see stars after this.
— Well, I don't think one pillow fight will be enough...
Vi scratched the back of her head, thought for a moment, and began to recite the poem
She has blue hair
At all everywhere
I didn't take her at her word
And then I checked. Oh my Lord!
Despite Caitlyn's best attempt to maintain her stern, annoyed expression, the absolute ridiculousness of Vi's final, godforsaken verse is too much. She just sits there for several moments, silent with stunned disbelief at the fact that Vi just... did that. After several long seconds, the dam of composure finally breaks and she just bursts out in loud, completely unrestrained laughter
— I... I'm seriously at a loss for words. That... that final verse is both the worst and best thing you've come up with. You're impossible, my love...
— I... I just... I just wanted to tease you... — Vi suddenly laughed almost hysterically.
— Oh, you bastard! You just... you just pulled those ridiculous verses out of thin air just to tease me, didn't you? I was sitting here thinking you genuinely wrote that crap of a song about me, and you were just trying to mess with me this whole damn time?
— Did you think I sat around on long winter evenings and thoughtfully wrote this? Oh, my God...
— In my defense, you've done some pretty damn strange things. You trying to write a completely serious, heartfelt song about me is not exactly the most unbelievable thing. And that's why I took your song at face value. You should've told me you were teasing me from the start!
— I take it the idea of publishing a collection of poems dedicated to you, you will not approve...
The mere thought of the idea sends a shudder down Caitlyn's spine, the horror of the idea of Vi's 'poetry' being out there in the open nearly enough to give her a damn blush. She quickly shakes her head fiercely, almost desperately
— Oh hell no, absolutely not. I love you, my love, but there is no way in hell your 'poetry' is ever seeing the light of day. I'm burning every copy you make, you hear me?
Vi laughed again and pulled Caitlyn into a tight embrace. She felt truly at home, able to simply tease her playfully.