Chapter Text
“Just forget about us and make some real friends, okay?” Ralsei smiles cheerily, providing no comfort. You’d always thought him to be annoying at best, but this… changes things. You can’t help the guilt that creeps up within you, and you feel like strangling the you from yesterday for being so stupid. How long has Ralsei been grappling with this, you wonder? How long has he spent telling himself he doesn’t matter? And all the while, all that you thought when you looked at him was how he looked like your brother. You’re fucking blind .
Susie reacts just as badly as you do, but for seemingly different reasons. And in a much more obvious way, given how you can’t even move your arm to her shoulder to comfort her, thanks to a certain possessing freak. You know she’s not really had friends since she moved here, of course she’d take it bad that one of the only ones she has is trying to convince her that he’s not real. You can see her tense up, clenching her fists. But then you see Ralsei, and how much of that smile is just plastered on his face because he thinks it needs to be there. Susie won’t say what he needs to hear, you know that. But it’s not like you can say anything. You can’t even move. At best you can clench your fist like Susie’s doing, and considering the way this conversation has gone you might as well do something to get your frustration out. But when you try to, your hands don’t move. That’s a bit odd… you usually have some control over your body, which would be a bit more odd for anyone else to be saying considering it’s literally your body and of course you’d be able to control it, but… you can’t find any limb of yours that you can make move, and… and you can’t breathe.
You stopped breathing . You can barely even move your eyelids . The Soul is doing something . It was always restrictive, but never this much. Your vision is beginning to darken, your blood pressure dropping, but you aren’t even wavering as you stand frozen upright. What’s happening?!? What’s it doing? You don’t know, and it hits you just how much control this thing has, and you’re- damnit, you’re scared. It’s never done this before, and you can’t breathe, YOU CAN’T-
Air rushes into your lungs in a slow, hushed breath. Angel, it feels relieving, if not for the terror of not knowing what just happened. You still can’t move, is the first thing you put together. The second is that you didn’t take that breath . Your eyes move on their own, shifting to look around as your legs steady themselves without your input. Your gaze lands on Ralsei, as Susie grips him while seething, and it makes you walk towards them. It never did it like this. Sure, it chose where you walked, but putting one foot in front of the other was always you. Until now.
“Ralsei.” A voice almost like yours calls out from your mouth. It’s never even spoken through you like this before… it couldn’t, because it had to get through you. But it’s like it… doesn’t have to, now. It took control from you, the last bit of your autonomy you held onto. The last thing you could do that was still attributed to you. Just the very act of living in your own body, and it took it. You try to run. You try to scream. Nothing happens.
Susie backs off as you- no, it approaches. You don’t quite get that look in her eyes, like she can tell something is wrong, but doesn’t object. Maybe she knows that something is different, but doesn’t know just how right she is.
Ralsei looks shocked, like he didn’t see this happening in a hundred years. He knows about the Soul, so maybe he can tell it’s taken control. But neither you nor him know how. He looks as scared as you wish you could show.
It approaches Ralsei in your body, stopping just before him. You try to scream, don’t hurt him. It’s never hurt anyone before, but you don’t exactly think it isn’t open to new experiences.
It puts a hand on his shoulder. You try to brace yourself.
“Ralsei.”
“U-um, yes… Kris ?” The way he said your name… he does know. But he isn’t moving.
“...You’re talking about the Light World.”
“ H-huh? ”
“Lancer is a playing card in the Light World. Queen is a laptop in the Light World. You are fake in the Light World , and ONLY in the Light World.”
“Kris, what the hell do you mean by that?” Susie asks, confused and angry.
“I… get it. It’s fiction, right, Ralsei?”
“U-uh, what do you mean?”
“Dark Worlds are based on our ideas and perceptions of our own worlds. The expensive laptop is more important than the cheaper computers, so it becomes a Queen. That’s really only something we, as people, recognize. And, from what I’ve seen, it seems like these Dark Worlds exist as though they always have. King knows Queen, despite the two Worlds never existing at the same time. As if things kept moving without a Fountain. So if the Fountain isn’t responsible for these things existing the way they do, what is?”
Susie puzzles for a moment. “It’s… the ideas, right?”
“Exactly. Without a Fountain, the Darkners still exist, just as ideas. As fiction. But every book or movie character isn’t real, right? If fiction has any real existence, it’s only hypothetical, at least without a Fountain.”
“So, without a Fountain, it’s not real.” Ralsei concludes, sadly.
“Debatable.” The Soul states, in seemingly unknowing agreement with you. “But that’s not the point. The point is, you’re real NOW. Even if you’re not real without a Fountain, that just sounds to me like it would kill you. And just because you can be ‘killed’ when the lights come back on doesn’t mean you’re any less ‘alive’ when they’re off.”
It takes Ralsei’s hands in your own, and looks at him. “And when they’re off, you’re Ralsei. You’re a part of our team. You heal us when we get hurt, and you show kindness as much as you can. You’re our friend. And when we’re here together in the dark, we are equals. Okay, Ralsei?”
He looks like he’s going to cry. He smiles, truthfully. “...okay, Kris.”
“That’s what I like to see.”
“ Hell , Kris, since when were you a therapist??” Susie punches you in the arm. Its smile drops a little. It opens your mouth, but-
“Wow, what an A M A Z I N G performance!!! The audience has been brought to TEARS , folks!”
“Who the HECK are you!?” Susie (and Ralsei, surprisingly) say in unison. And, suddenly-
You stumble, as your legs are not held up on their own anymore. No one seems to notice. You can move on your own, again. It… took full control, just to comfort Ralsei, and then it just gave that tiny piece of your autonomy back!? It can just do that!?!? Did it give you full control??
…No, you still can’t move on your own. In a moment, your strings tighten back up, and it resumes its regular hold on you. You don’t like how it can just push you away whenever your free will is inconvenient for it. Like you’re just a tool for it. You don’t like that idea, but the Soul doesn’t seem very interested in proving you wrong. But… it seems to care for Ralsei. But why him? Does it care for Susie? You weren’t sure it even cared for anything, and it sure doesn’t seem to care for you. You wouldn’t be surprised if it gave you control back on accident. But regardless, it shut you out. And it can probably do it again.
You could use a distraction from that thought.