Chapter Text
It was a beautiful day: Sun high in the sky, light breeze in the air, clear weather, and a lively atmosphere around the Ant Kingdom’s city. Better than all of that, though, was the fact that Ren had the perfect vantage point to see it all. The residential and commercial districts to her sides had their virtues, but her focus was set on the plaza dead ahead. It was bustling today, and from up on high Ren could pretend that she was one of the fabled giants looking down on the bugs of the world.
She shifted her position slightly, letting her legs hang off the ledge before leaning back to fish her sketchbook out of her backpack, which was leaning up against the edge of the wall. There was no way she was going to let this opportunity pass by, since she wasn’t sure when she might be coming back through here again.
As she got to work, she started humming a simple, happy tune to herself, overcome by the sense of limitless possibility that this perch brought her. It was all going swimmingly until she heard someone approach from behind. A cautious voice said, “Hey, uh, who are you and what are you doing up here?”
Ren was focused on her work, not bothering anyone, and so she assumed that the bug was speaking to someone else until they continued, “Hello, you, on the ledge! Can you hear me?!”
After closing her eyes for a few seconds and letting out an irritated sigh, Ren shut her sketchbook and set it aside before spinning herself around. The roof itself was nearly featureless, so the view had been its only redeeming quality.
Ren saw an ant wearing the standard uniform of the kingdom’s guards stood a short distance from her, leaning slightly on her spear for support while carefully watching Ren. Upon seeing Ren turn about, she looked shocked and said, “O-Oh, uh, you’re a roach? I heard some of you are coming to Bugaria now.”
Ren, unsure of what point the guard was trying to make, swung her legs forward and back in the air while she stared back and said, “Yes.”
Shifting her weight from one leg to the other, the ant idly fiddled with her weapon before continuing, “Well, normally I’d have a lot of other questions, but you never answered my first ones: Who are you, exactly, and what are you doing here?”
Those were easy. “I’m Ren,” She said, pointing at herself. Giving the cityscape a glance over her shoulder once more before looking back at the ant, Ren then pointed behind herself and continued, “And I was just taking in the view of your city. I’ve never seen anything like it before, and the view from up here is incredible!”
The ant shuffled in place and looked away nervously before saying, “Well, that’s really nice of you to say, but you’re not supposed to be up here. Most of the palace is off-limits to non-ants. I’m not even sure how you managed to get here in the first place!”
Tapping on the stone rampart while looking up at the sky and retracing her steps in her mind, Ren said, “Well, I walked mostly. I think there was a lift at some point.”
The ant shook her head while stepping towards Ren, looking over her more closely. “How’d you get through the doors? Didn’t anyone try to stop you?”
At the time, Ren had been anticipating reaching the top so much that she hadn’t been paying too much attention to her surroundings. She thought back again and answered, “Let’s see. I walked in after someone else since I figured they knew where they were going. There was a little bit of yelling, but that was when…” Her words trailed off as a sudden realization hit her, causing her to sit up straight and look around the roof. She asked, “You haven’t seen a short, four-legged construct around here somewhere, have you? One that has a bad attitude?”
The ant stared back at her in disbelief, mouth ajar and left speechless. Ren wasn’t sure which part of that had confused her, but it didn’t really matter. She quickly waved with preemptive dismissal and said, “You know, never mind that for now. We can go looking for the little fiend later.”
Upon collecting her wits, the ant stepped forward again and cleared her throat before politely saying, “Ma’am, I understand you like it up here, but you need to leave. I can lead you back down to the entrance, if you’ll just follow me.” With the tip of her spear, she motioned for Ren to go first towards the door.
No, that wouldn’t do. She wasn’t done up here quite yet. Ren gestured for the guard to come join her instead and said, “I need to finish my drawing of the plaza first, but I won’t be long. How about you come on over? When was the last time you really had a look at the city?”
Closing the rest of the distance cautiously, the ant looked only briefly over the city before looking back at Ren and answering, “I’m up top every day. I think I’ve seen plenty of it.”
Ren shook her head and spun herself back around to take in the vista again. With the city fresh before her eyes once more, she held her arms wide. “No, not like that. I mean the last time you looked down, saw the little figures walking around down there, and wondered what their lives were like, or where they came from and where they’re going. Do you ever imagine what those two bugs down there by the statue are talking about, or what keeps them up at night?”
The ant set her spear up against the wall and leaned forward to get a better look for herself, with her arms resting crossed on the rampart. Meanwhile, Ren picked up her sketchbook and quickly got back to work, putting some hasty details on the buildings. After a short but pleasant silence, the ant turned her head to Ren and said, “I haven’t, though that’s a strange thing to wonder if you ask me. Are those the sort of questions the other roaches like to ask too?”
Ren frowned as sour memories bubbled to the surface of her thoughts. Before she realized it, she snapped her stick of graphite and slowly shook her head. “No, except maybe some of the other ones who chose to leave. I didn’t have to wonder what the others did or thought back home, because the village was small, everyone knew one another already, and there was nowhere to go. Plus the Elder always made sure I knew what she thought about what I wanted to do. The less said about her, the better.”
She pointed at the ant with the end of the broken stick and looked her straight in the eyes. “Maybe you don’t appreciate it, but you’ve got something special here, with all these different bugs coming and going.”
“Huh,” The ant said, before quiet fell over the two of them again, broken only by the soft sound of Ren’s continued drawing and the distant noise of the city. Just as Ren was about to finish, the ant stepped back from the edge of the roof, picked up her spear up, and said, “Well, you’ve got an interesting perspective Ren, but you really do need to leave or else I’m going to have to throw you in jail.”
Ren closed the book on her mostly-finished drawing with dramatic exaggeration. Slouching in defeat, she sighed before muttering, “No justice for the wanderer.”
Stopping at a crossroads, Helio surveyed his surroundings while shielding his eyes from the harsh sunlight as best as he could. Those rocks up ahead looked depressingly familiar. He must have wandered in a circle. Crossing the desert on his own had been exactly as terrible of an idea as he’d thought it would be. Too bad he’d convinced himself it was more important to put some extra distance behind himself as soon as he could.
The border guards had told him to head towards the great tree on the horizon until he found a town at its base. It sounded pretty simple, but it was nearly impossible to find a straight route with all the pits and cliffs. For all his walking, the tree didn’t seem any closer. He should have just waited for a caravan. Helio sighed deeply and picked a path he was pretty sure he hadn’t tried already and, pushing past his exhaustion with sheer stubbornness, kept on moving.
A few hours later, carrying on through momentum more than anything, Helio struggled against his own weakness to look up again. The tree was closer, but not close enough. He was thirsty, hungry, and weary to the point where he could feel each step taking more effort than the last. If he didn’t find a straight path soon, he was going to… well, it would be a damn foolish way to die after everything he’d been through to get there.
He crossed over another chasm using a bridge of dried wood, but when he stepped off the end he caught his leg on the edge and fell forward face-first into the sand with a groan. Helio tried pushing himself back up, but found that he lacked the strength. His arms shook while he tried to force himself to go on. It didn’t take long for them to give out, and he found his face buried back in the sand again. He stopped trying to get up and simply laid there, accepting defeat.
So, this was going to be the end? He’d really wasted everything he’d had, first at home and now on this total failure of a misadventure. This was what he deserved.
The next thing he was aware of was muffled, indistinct sounds of a few other bugs speaking. It wasn’t clear how long it had been, but at some point while laying there Helio must have passed out. He was blinded by the sudden light when he was lifted by the arms up out of the drift he’d settled in and set down on his back. He sputtered sand out from between his mandibles.
His saviors helped him sit up. While his eyes adjusted and he got a few more grains out of his mouth, he could hear the two of them speak to one another. First, a man’s voice saying, “See? I told you he’d be alive. It’s a good thing we came this way.” Then, a woman speaking to Helio directly, “Hey, are you okay? I was worried you were a goner, but it looks like we found you in time.”
When he could see again, he looked up and saw a ladybug in a helmet and a blue ant with armor and a large shield. They didn’t look standard issue, but they weren’t shaking him down either, so they probably weren’t the bandits he’d heard about. Despite being parched, Helio managed to joke, “Thanks. Just needed a rest.”
The ladybug knelt down to meet Helio on his level and offered him a water pouch. “You look like you need more than that, to put it lightly, and this is hardly the place for one. Are you hungry? Do you need help getting to Defiant Root?” The ant leaned on her shield and said, “We don’t see many termites this far north, and you look ready for a fight. Are you a soldier? Or a new explorer?”
Helio hesitated to take the drink and to answer. Instead, he quickly inspected his battered armor and made sure his sword and crossbow were still fastened to him. As badly as he needed the water, he didn’t want to be indebted to these two any more than he was already. He didn’t like their questions much either, but at least he could tell them the truth without having to worry. “Neither. Just a bug going where the road takes me.” He wasn’t a soldier, and now he never would be.
When he tried to stand up, he found that he still didn’t have the energy and fell back on his face. The two helped him sit up again, and the ladybug adjusted his position to provide Helio some shade from the harsh sun with his own body. He held out the water more insistently, right in Helio’s face. “Please,” He said, “You need to get your strength back.”
Helio anxiously shifted into a more comfortable position while the sun’s heat continued to beat down on him. They were right. He snatched the water and drank it so quickly that droplets dribbled down his face. Wiping them away with a pang of shame in his thorax, he handed the empty container back to the ladybug and said, “I don’t like taking something for nothing, but thank you.”
The ladybug shook his head and said, “Nonsense. What kind of explorers would we be if we took payment for helping a bug in need?”
To their side, the ant was climbing the short distance to the top of the drift and looking over the area ahead for their route, or maybe for danger. A gust of dry wind irritated Helio’s eyes. He grunted while rubbing the sand out of them.
Slowly rising to his feet, Helio found he was still shaky but could at least support his own weight this time. He brushed the remaining sand off himself and did his best to stand up straight to lend himself a scrap of dignity. “I’ll have to repay you when I’m in better shape. I’m out of berries right now, and… supplies in general.”
The pair glanced at one another before the ant returned to her partner’s side. She leaned in and the two whispered back and forth while Helio busied himself removing one of his boots to turn it over and unsuccessfully shake the remaining sand out. When they were done, the ant looked at him and doubtfully asked, “Do you have anything other than your weapons and armor?”
Helio held back his words for a few seconds as the shame welling up in him intensified, but he forced himself to look her in the eye and admitted, “No, not right now.”
Once again, the two of them exchanged a glance. The ladybug reached out to Helio and said, “Come with us and we’ll make sure you get to town and set you up at the inn for the night.”
He was going to continue, but Helio shook his head and said, “Just show me the way, and that will be more than enough.”
Patiently, the ladybug answered, “Hold on now, you haven’t let me finish. If you insist on paying us back, and assuming your equipment isn’t just for show, we are heading that direction already for a mission to hunt a monster and wouldn’t turn down some extra assistance.”
Chiming in, the ant added with a welcoming smile, “You’d get your fair share of the reward too, of course!”
“Hmph,” Helio grunted, crossing his arms while he thought. Hunting down monsters with explorers sounded like the sort of thing that would bring attention, and attention wasn’t what he needed right now. Neither were people who might end up inclined to ask more questions about him or what he was doing on the road. Unfortunately, what he needed was a place to rest, something to eat, and berries in his pocket, none of which were things he was currently capable of providing for himself.
“Okay,” He said, “I’ll help you, you’ll pay for my lodging and restock my supplies. That’ll be my share of the reward. You keep my involvement to yourselves when you go to collect it.”
The ladybug lowered his arm. He looked at his partner again, who picked her shield up from where she’d planted it in the sand, and then nodded. He said, “A strange request, but admittedly it isn’t association policy to have civilians help out on missions, even if they’re well-armed ones.”
Motioning for Helio to follow her over the dune, the ant said, “Now, let’s get going. I’m not sure how long you were out here, but I’ll bet you’re hungry. I know I’ve had enough of the sands for one day!”
He declined to tell her how right she was. Instead he stepped up to her and said, “After you.”
The explorers started walking, the rhythmic sound of the sand rustling under the others’ steps providing Helio with something to try and match instead of stumbling along on his own. They went slowly at first so the others could periodically looking back and keep a close eye on Helio to check if he needed help along the way.
Once they had reached a steady pace, the ladybug introduced himself first. “I’m Levi by the way,” he said. The ant was quick to follow, saying, “And I’m Celia!”
Though he would have been just as happy not to exchange names, he had to now to avoid being rude. “Helio,” he said.
Celia stopped at a bend in their path and said, “Nice to meet you, Helio! It should be a straight shot from here, so hold on a little longer!” Stopping alongside her, he could see the promised town in the distance. Today wouldn’t be the day he died after all.
These two seemed nice enough, and if they were really explorers, they’d be able to teach him a thing or two about the area. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad.
Soft zapping filled the room while Tez put the finishing touches on his work. He connected some wires before reattaching a little cover plate on the mechanical claw he’d been working on. Leaning back in the workshop’s seat with relief after spending too long hunched over, he looked at Enigra and said, “Better than new! You should have finer control with it now.” He remembered that he hadn’t actually tested these modifications and added, “Well, in theory. If you have any problems with it, you better come find me.”
Enigra tested his claw out, opening and closing it with soft whirring sounds before trying each digit one at a time. With a triumphant grin, he clapped Tez on the back a little harder than was comfortable and said, “Great job, kid! Butomu hasn’t seen half of what I can do yet!”
Tez glanced at the other bug, who was busy at the other end of the shop. He wasn’t sure what their deal was, but the encouragement was a welcome bit of validation. With the job done, he found himself eager to get a move on. As much as the materials in the smithy beckoned him with possibility, between the heat of the nearby furnace and the piles of unfinished works Enigra had accumulated, it wasn’t the most welcoming for his own experimentation. While he packed his tools into his roll-up kit, he said, “I’ve been getting some practice in, but nothing beats real work! Now, do you have what I asked for?”
Once Enigra was done admiring Tez’s handiwork, he gave Tez an appraising look. “Right here, though I don’t know what you want them for. I tried to make it before, and it was just useless junk!” The blacksmith leaned over the edge of the table towards Tez and put some rolled-up prints in front of him.
Tez gave them a quick look over to make sure they were the real deal. He didn’t care if they weren’t that practical. Anything designed by the roaches was of interest to him. He needed every bit of information he could get his hands on to understand them and their inventions.
Enigra stood back up and walked over to his tool rack, picking up a hammer with the claw to further test it. While he worked, he asked with restrained curiosity, “Are you new in town? We still don’t see a lot of wasps around here, other than Wayde. Keep your work up and you could make a name for yourself.”
Whenever Enigra made a point of his being a wasp, Tez unconsciously tensed up. So far, his brief time in Defiant Root had been uneventful, but he still wasn’t sure what sort of treatment to expect. It had only been a few moons since they’d been at war. When the blacksmith didn’t say anything more, he relaxed and answered, “Just passing through on my way to the ant kingdom. I’m going to be an explorer actually. I guess you could say the tinkering is just a personal interest.”
Enigra looked genuinely surprised by Tez’s answer. “You, an explorer? Huh? Eh, never mind. I didn’t realize bugs were still going to sign up for that after all that business with the sapling was over.”
Shaking off his indignation, Tez said, “I don’t know if anyone else is, but I think there’s still got to be plenty worth seeing out there. I’ve got what it takes to see it all.” Hopefully those things wouldn’t get him killed. Not before he learned what he needed. Tez rolled his tool kit up, stuffed it in his backpack, and slung that over his shoulder. Waving goodbye to the other smith across the workshop, he made for a hasty exit.
On Tez’s way out, Enigra said, “Whatever you end up deciding to do, good luck kid, and thanks again for helping with my claw!” Tez walked a little faster to avoid giving an answer.
After exiting out into the sunlight, Tez stepped aside and took a moment to lean on the wall and sigh, looking down at the ground as the sound of the crowd surrounded him. Things were so different outside the hive. He still wasn’t used to it, even things as simple as choosing where to go, what to do, or just talking to other kinds of bugs. Feeling his doubts creeping in, Tez redoubled his determination to push them away. The hive needed him to succeed, even if they didn’t recognize it yet.
In search of a distraction, his eyes wandered over to the nearby bakery. A treat might help keep his nerves down, and he had a long day ahead if he was going to start heading towards the ant kingdom.
Once he was done, he had a muffin in hand and started walking out towards the main street. The sweet, nutty snack was just the thing he needed. He was starting to feel alright again when a familiar voice cut through the din of the crowd.
“Tez,” he shouted, “There you are! I’ve been looking all over for you!” Tez looked up and, without a doubt, his friend Witt was walking straight towards him, waving at Tez to try and catch his attention while sidestepping around the bugs walking in the opposite direction.
Tez froze. What was Witt doing this far from the hive? He wasn’t prepared for this, and it was too late to try and pretend he hadn’t noticed. All he could manage to do was stand there until Witt had closed the distance and looked Tez in the eye with a concerned look on his face. Tez instinctively backed up against a wall and turned his gaze away, pretending to watch a ladybug buying something from a bee.
Witt gently grabbed his shoulder and, softening his voice, said, “I heard you ran off suddenly. You made me worried sick, you know.”
Tez was still stunned. It wasn’t his surprise exactly - that had worn off already - but the confusion and irritation and guilt he could feel mixing in his thorax made it hard to respond. The best he could manage to choke out was, “Wh-Why are you here, Witt? I thought you were on duty.”
Silence was the only response he got. Eventually, he was tempted to look back. Witt hadn’t moved at all. His expression somewhere between sadness and betrayal. It hurt for Tez to look at. Once they’d held eye contact for a few seconds, Witt said, “You didn’t even say goodbye.” It was both hollow and accusatory at the same time.
This wasn’t how Tez had planned his departure. He’d left when he did specifically to avoid this exact conversation, and there was no way he could brush off Witt after he’d traveled all this way. Couldn’t Witt see that he’d been trying to spare them both the pain of this parting? It wasn’t fair.
Now that they were face to face, he couldn’t get out of it. He opened and closed his mandibles a few times while tugging nervously at the straps of his backpack, not sure of the right words, before he said, “Let’s sit down. There’s a bar just around the corner.”
Witt nodded. They walked the short distance and picked a table without exchanging another word. Tez sat down while Witt went up and got them their usual drinks - berry juice for himself and water for Tez. He slid Tez’s cup across to him and sat down opposite him. At first they both looked into their drinks instead of at one another. Tez swirled the water around a few times and took the occasional sip until the discomfort from the silence overcame his reluctance to talk. He looked back up to see Witt watching him attentively. “I wanted to say something, Witt,” he suddenly started, “But I knew that if anyone could talk me out of going, it’d be you.”
Shifting to lean forward in his seat with a deep sigh, Witt’s mandibles trembled slightly before he answered, “And would that have been such a bad thing, Tez?!” He set his drink down with enough frustration to send a banging sound across the room, drawing a few curious looks from the other patrons. Unbothered by them, Witt said, “I just,” before quickly stopping himself, taking another breath, and continuing, “I still don’t understand why you feel like you have to go. Is it about that expedition you went on? The injury? Is it something I said? Anything I can help with?”
That cut right to the chase. Tez still hadn’t ever worked up the courage or found the words to explain how he felt, but if anyone deserved his best effort it was Witt. Fidgeting in his seat while he felt himself shaking slightly, Tez said, “I-I just can’t go back to how it was before the usurper took over, Witt. I know nobody really talks about what it was like, but… it changed me, even if it doesn’t seem like it changed most of the others. I can’t stay in the hive anymore. I’m not trying to run away from you all. It’s the opposite, really: I have to do this because I want to make sure nothing like that can happen again, and I can’t do that at home anymore.”
Witt had watched Tez intently the whole time he spoke. When he was done, he fiddled with his cup and looked down at the table to think. Looking back up to meet Tez’s eye, he said, “It’s not that it didn’t affect me, or any of the others. I was just glad to be myself again, to have my squad… and you too, maybe more than anyone. If you think you can do something to help the hive, then you’ll always have my support Tez. I just don’t like to see you cut yourself off like this. I don’t want to see you get hurt. You don’t have to do this alone.”
Some of the other customers were still watching them. Maybe this hadn’t been the best place for this conversation after all. Tez tried to ignore them.
He looked back at Witt and shook his head. “I thought about it - a lot - but this is my responsibility. You already do your part, and I need to do mine. Besides, you like what you do too much and you know it. It wouldn’t have felt right to ask you to leave just for me.”
Chuckling nervously, Witt rubbed the back of his head and said, “You’ve got me there, sure. I’d still go if you asked me to, no second thoughts. I hope you know that.”
At that moment, the air between them lightened. Things suddenly felt a little more normal, like they used to. Tez smiled and said, “I know, and I won’t forget it. I promise. But for now I’m going by myself.”
Witt rolled his eyes. It was his way of admitting defeat. “I know when I can’t change your mind,” he said, “But I’ll hold you to that. At least make sure you come and visit. Don’t forget about me.” He raised his cup.
“I’d never forget you,” Tez said, feeling a smile creep back onto his face for the first time in a long while, “So yeah, I can do that.” He raised his cup in turn, and the two clinked them together.