Chapter Text
All dwarves can shift. Everyone knows that.
In fact, all in Middle Earth, with the exception of men, can shift. No one had ever worked out a reason for why people shifted into the animals they did. It did not seem to follow family lines, or races. Nor did it follow time lines or generations. It seemed more and more likely, the animal followed the personality.
The Line of Durin was no different. Durin the First was recorded as having a raven as his animal; the reason the ravens were a symbol of his line.
Thorin Oakenshield, exiled King Under the Mountain shifted in a large black bear; all power and rage.
Frerin was a Lynx; lithe, light and almost as golden as his hair.
Dis shifted to an eagle; large, majestic and intelligent, but incredibly protective.
Her husband Vili, shifted into a cougar; quiet, powerful, deadly and smart.
Thorin would never forget his first encounter with Thranduil in his animal form. He had laughed so hard he had almost fallen from a walkway, high in the mountain of Erebor. Thranduil, Elven King, not only rode an elk, he shifted into one too. Thorin, Frerin, Dis and Dwalin all still got a laugh out of the thought of the Elf King riding the same animal he shifted into.
Fili, heir to the throne, and eldest son of Dis and Vili, shifted into a majestic lion. Although, when he was young, majestic was not the word used. Cute, adorable... clumsy... were more appropriate words. Vili took his time teaching his son to use his 4 legs, and Frerin taught him how to get into trouble.
And he shifted every chance he had. At first it was completely unconsciously. He would go to bed a golden haired dwarfling, and wake as a golden lion cub. When he was scared, he shifted. When he was excited, he shifted. Sometimes he shifted just because he could.
It became a common sight, to see Thorin, or Dwalin, or Vili, or Frerin chasing after a golden lion cub. Most times he forced his elders to shift, just to keep up with him. Although it was usually Vili and Frerin who would shift and give chase. It just wasn’t practical to have the King and his Shield Brother and Captain of the Guard, in their bear forms, lumbering after a lion cub who could get to places they just couldn’t fit. Or weren’t fast enough to keep up with. It was also common for someone to come across the cub, curled up in a ball, and hiding somewhere; usually if he had done something wrong or he thought he would be in trouble. Sometimes even if he was just scared about something. The entire settlement knew how to coax Fili out from his hiding places by the time he was 5.
But, as he grew older, and his control got better, he learned to shift at will, and the mornings he woke as a lion were few and far between. Periods of heightened emotion, like fear, and anxiety, would cause him to shift unexpectedly.
Fili had his shifting under control. Excepting one thing. His younger brother, Kili. Kili could convince his brother to shift almost any time he wanted. And Fili would do it, just to see Kili smile and laugh, and his eyes light up.
As they grew, still in their teens and twenties, it was a common sight for Kili to be riding on his brother’s back, as the lion cub raced through the halls, and across the settlement.
********
Everyone shifted. Except the youngest of the Durin Line. Kili, second and youngest son of Dis and Vili did not shift. Not once in his life had he shifted.
The eldest always shifted first, a feeling of needing to protect, whether themselves or others, making their change happen earlier than those born after them. The younger ones, feeling safe and protected by their older siblings, and family groups, usually shifted later.
It was only on rare occasions, that the younger siblings shifted early. Dwalin was a notable exception.
It was not unusual at first. The first born always shifted early, in Fili’s case the night he was born, and the further down the line someone was born, the later they first shifted. Frerin was 10 when he first shifted, Dis’ birth prompting protective instincts, triggering his first shift.
Thorin still remembered the shocked look Frerin wore on his Lynx face when he suddenly shifted into his other form for the first time.
For Dis, it wasn’t until after the fall of Erebor, when they were homeless and wandering the wilds that she first shifted. Her fear, and need of a feeling of safety and strength forcing her first change.
But Kili... By his 30th birthday he still hadn’t shifted. And Thorin knew, for some reason, Kili never would. It was unheard of. And a secret to be taken to the grave. No-one could know that a dwarf was incapable of shifting, much less one of Durin’s Line.
And so everyone close to the family kept the secret close to their chests. Kili dreamed of running through the woods where he hunted on 4 feet, nose twitching with the smell of the forest, eyesight sharp, and feet silent. In his dreams he was a wolf, and so, that became the cover story. Kili shifted into a wolf, but had stage fright, and so, no one in the settlement had seen him change.
And it was a story bought for many years.
Until a hunting trip gone wrong.
********
Kili felt useless. He sat at the base of his favourite tree, stripping the leaves and bark off sticks he’d found on the ground. He’d run after another altercation in the market. The other boys had teased him for years, telling him that his animal form must be truly pathetic for the normally self assured prince to have such severe stage fright that none had seen him change bar his closest family. They had taunted him that maybe his animal was a ‘cute little bunny rabbit’, or ‘maybe a harmless little squirrel’.
But today, they had hit a nerve, saying that maybe the reason no one had seen him change, was because he couldn’t change. That maybe he was an abomination and he had no animal form, just like the race of men.
Kili had been so enraged, and embarrassed, and hurt by the words that he had tried to force the change. Which resulted in further embarrassment when nothing happened. In his humiliation, with tears in his eyes, Kili had fled, finding refuge at the base of the tree.
That was where Fili found him, a few hours later. His brother’s lion form slowly approached him, a pack on his back. Kili looked up at the soft noise of Fili’s paws on the dirt, but quickly dropped his head before he could notice the tears. He should have known better than to think Fili hadn’t noticed his mood.
The great cat dropped down next to him, and Kili automatically curled into his side, absorbing his warmth. He hid his face in Fili’s mane, his tears soaking the darker fur as he cried. Fili let out a concerned whimper before he curled protectively around his younger brother and started to let out a low, rolling purr.
When Kili finally pulled away, Fili’s head followed him, gently licking away his tears with a rough tongue, his purring never ceasing. With a deep, heartfelt sigh, Kili pulled the pack from his brother’s back, unpacking some apples, cold cuts of meat, and a few water skins.
“What’s wrong with me Fee?” Kili asked after emptying a water skin.
“Nothing’s wrong with you.” Fili had adamantly repeated the same thing in many different ways since Kili realised he was the only one who couldn’t shift.
“Then why don’t I have an animal?”
Fili sat next to his brother with a sigh, pulling his tunic on over his head. “You do. We all have an animal. And do you know how I know?” Kili shook his head. “Your dreams. You dream of your wolf like I dream of my lion. I’m sure you’ve an animal, and I’m positive it’s a wolf.”
“Then why can’t I change?” Kili viciously bit into a red apple.
Fili sighed again, running a hand through his hair. “I don’t know.” He winced when his fingers got caught in a tangle and let out a small, resigned sigh when Kili moved to sit beside him, pulled a comb from the pack, and started to comb out his hair. “Maybe you’re not ready. Maybe you feel safe and your wolf doesn’t feel the need to change. But you can’t force it. It’ll only hurt you.” Kili remembered Fili trying to force the change once, when he was younger. Kili would never forget the screams and whimpers that came from Fili when he only partially changed. His hand and feet changed, his tail grew, his jaw and nose changed, and his shoulders, but the rest stayed dwarven. He was in so much agony that Oin had to force a tonic down his throat to make him relax and sleep. Kili, Thorin, Dis and Vili had all sat vigil through the night, waiting for something to happen. Kili wasn’t sure when, but sometime during the night he fell asleep, and when he woke, he was nestled in golden fur, his head buried in a short, young mane. Fili had completed the change during the night, and he never tried to force the change again.
Fili shifted, letting his brother redo his braids. “I know you’re frustrated Kee, and angry, I would be too. But try not to let those morons bring you down to their level ok?” He took Kili’s face in his hands. “They pick on you because you’re so much better than them at everything.”
“I know.”
Fili kissed him lightly. “Good. Now, we need to go home. Thorin wants to take us on a hunting trip.”
Kili’s face lit up like the sun was rising as he smiled. “How long for? Where are we going? Who’s going with us? Is Adad coming? Or Uncle Frerin? Can I take my bow? What are we hunting for?”
“Whoa Kili slow down. I don’t know anything. He only told me as I was running out the door to come and find you. I think it was supposed to be a surprise, but when Ori came to the forge and told us what had happened... I think he thought knowing early might cheer you up.” Fili grabbed the pack and started repacking things into it.
“Can you change? And can I ride on your back home?” Kili prided himself on not pleading for it.
“You just redid my braids Kili.”
“I know but,” Kili dug into the ground with the tip of his boot, “it’s the only way I can experience how it feels to really run.”
Fili was already pulling off his tunic, hands going to unlace his breeches. “Pack everything up,” he told Kili as he started to shift, falling onto 4 paws. He lay down, watching as Kili raced around, packing everything up, then slung the pack over his own shoulders. He carefully climbed onto his brothers back, taking care not to accidently boot him in the ribs (done only once), and cautiously grabbed two handfuls of Fili’s mane. Then they were off, Fili sprinting through the forest, towards home.
And if they took the long way home? Well, no one needed to know.