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His memory, although faint, has left its mark.
From the way he looked and smelled to the way he spoke and moved, Arata would always be remembered as “That Guy” in Yuudai’s mind. And not just because of the ridiculous hat he always wore.
Yuudai sat alone in his room, hugging an oversized shirt to his chest. It was not his, nor did it belong to That Guy. It was actually Taisei’s.
Yuudai sighed as he thought about the monstrously tall man. Taisei was large not only in size but also in personality. He was always dragging Yuudai along to one place or another, be it a busy clothing store or an unreasonably busy movie theater. Sometimes they’d even go to a fast food place afterward, only somewhat against Yuudai’s will. He tried hard not to see these as dates and only as friendly “hanging out”.
Arata, on the other hand, was never quite so romantic. He revealed his feelings in smaller, quieter ways. They’d relax and watch bad movies, pointing out plot holes and inconsistencies, or even just poor character development. Other times they’d order some sushi and just quietly sit and eat. Every once in awhile, Arata would save his money and buy some nice sake, then they’d party and have a good time. Sometimes it went bad, but Yuudai didn’t think much of it until it was too late.
Despite his flaws, however, Yuudai couldn’t help but still feel something for Arata. It wasn’t always bad, and Yuudai couldn’t shake the thought that...maybe it didn’t always have to be.
Yuudai was not an idiot, though, so he’d made a resolve to never meet up with the older man again. He would keep his feelings as feelings, and hopefully never put them into action.
But Taisei was another matter entirely. Yuudai had long since realized he had taken a liking to him, even from the day they met. He was kind and generous, and much smarter than he ever let on.
However, Yuudai wanted nothing more than to just stay as friends.
Yuudai was scared of what would happen if they committed to a romantic relationship. The blonde would only be a burden to Taisei. He had nothing to offer, not for an extended period of time. He had no money; he couldn’t take Taisei out somewhere, couldn’t get him a gift. He wasn’t any good at showing his affection, and Taisei would only end up getting hurt because of it.
Yuudai also had secrets. He had secrets he had to keep, and if Taisei were to find out about them…
With another forlorn sigh, Yuudai stood and balled up the shirt in his hands, and threw it to the side. He had no time to worry about this right now. He had to feed Hime.