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“Could you be more obvious?” Chaeyoung deadpans, startling Dahyun out of her daze.
“Obvious to what now?”
“Please, the school’s population has found Minatozaki attractive since the beginning of times. While we, mere humans, need to undergo such puberty, Minatozaki has always been a visual. No need to deny, Dubs. We all have eyes,” Chaeyoung continues through a mouthful of kimbap. The subject of their conversation saunters through the cafeteria like it’s her runway. It’s comical how every person in the room gawks at Sana’s presence. Dahyun snorts, dropping her gaze back to her food.
“Hirai’s cuter,” She mumbles to herself, feigning indifference. The captain of the dance club and Sana’s older cousin appear beside the young Minatozaki, looking chic and pretty as her. Of course, Dahyun is biased (Hirai Momo pretty much dotes on Dahyun every time they meet).
“What’s that, all I could hear is you being gay~” Chaeyoung teases her further, causing her scowl to deepen. In retaliation to the younger’s remark, Dahyun steals the last piece of kimbap and eats it.
“I don’t get the fuss with Minatozaki anyway.” Chaeyoung rolls her eyes and steals one of Dahyun’s egg rolls in return.
---
It's the honey-brown eyes that caught her attention the most when they first met. Dahyun wondered why their whole neighborhood was shaken by some family’s arrival. She remembered it was weeks before her freshman year.
She also remembered being dragged by her mom across the street and making her carry pastries in some fancy-looking package. (‘Can I have some, Mom?’ ‘No, Dahyun behave.’)
Towering figures answered the door, looking all prim and proper. The lady then gestured to a girl about Dahyun’s age to step forward and take the delicacies they brought.
“Minatozaki Sana.” A hand was then offered to her.
Dahyun stood frozen. Too lost in how doll-like the girl’s eyes were, and how the curls of her hair seemed to cascade freely on her shoulder. Her mom subtly pinched her side to return the introduction.
“Kim Dahyun.” She tried to lower the exasperation in her tone, still reeling from the pinch.
Her mother explained that the Minatozakis were heralded as business tycoons. Their moving to their quaint neighborhood was considered an honor. (But why? Dahyun will never know.)
---
It's not like they'll be friends after living closely with each other. Dahyun soon learned that the Minatozakis were someone unreachable. Their neighborhood wasn’t the same again with all the buzz they brought in. She and Chaeyoung always came asking for the younger Minatozaki after learning they’d be attending the same school. Her mom also made her bring the same fancy-looking pastries every visit. ('Seriously, they wouldn’t notice if I got one. Or maybe two, for me and Chae!') But through all that, only maids and a handful of security faced them. Sometimes, Dahyun would peep through her window only to see cars of different kinds parked outside the Minatozaki’s and gatherings being held on countless nights.
At school, it’s no wonder that Sana would be popular. It helps that she’s conventionally attractive but add to that, the girl exudes a magnetic aura. Looking at her, Dahyun realized Sana was way too out of her league. It's like the girl has her spotlight while Dahyun thrives on the sidelines.
The hoard of Sana's admirers too is endless, boys and girls alike. Approaching her would be like the Hunger Games. Sana dates but no one lasts. No one wonders why, but they never look past it because everybody (excluding Dahyun, she reiterates) wants a chance with the young Minatozaki.
---
It's half past eleven in the evening as Dahyun wanders around, clearly not in a rush to go home yet. The takeouts (a.k.a. expired goods) from her part-time at the local convenience store came in handy as she had not eaten dinner yet. Eventually, she ends up in a café not far from her work. She skims through the menu and settles on ordering a hot chocolate to justify her stay so she can eat her rice balls inside the store.
Halfway through her second rice ball, Sana walks in with some guy in tow (which she belatedly realizes is Sana’s ex-boyfriend). Are they back together again? Dahyun knows they broke up because the whole school’s buzzing with that gossip for two weeks straight. Chaeyoung retells it to her one lunchtime, with the guy cheating causing them to break up. (Who the hell cheats on someone who looks like that? Yes, Chaeng I do have eyes.)
Luckily, the couple(?) does not seem to notice Dahyun and settles a few tables away from her, with Sana facing Dahyun’s direction. It’s funny how Sana still looks flawless even at this ungodly hour. From her high ponytail bouncing elegantly along with her movements, the whole view of Sana appears cinematic. Dahyun glances back down at her plaid button-up shirt, too crumpled for her good, and tries to smoothen it hopelessly.
Dahyun opened her laptop to distract herself and continue her drafts that Ms. Bae asked her to work on. Her English adviser was so impressed by her writing that she tasked her to write a screenplay. Ms. Bae added that she would forward it to her colleagues to get Dahyun recommendations for a good university. She feels her mind is running like that one episode of SpongeBob with the way only the word ‘The’ is written on the Microsoft Word tab she opened.
The rising of voices breaks Dahyun’s concentration and she steals a glance at the nearby table where it originates. She quickly averts her gaze as she accidentally makes eye contact with Sana. A flicker of recognition passes Sana’s eyes, and she shakes her head as if to dispel some frustration away.
“What the hell do you want Junseo?” Dahyun perks up, alarmed at how rigid Sana’s tone seems (also did she curse?) She sees Junseo standing beside Sana’s side of the table, trapping her inside the booth. Dahyun is inept at fighting so she scans the café to see if there’s someone she could ask for help with. The only one around was the girl at the cashier who is preoccupied with making some TikTok content (probably).
She watches the argument, her fingers reaching for her phone in case she needs to call for an emergency backup. Eventually, Junseo seems to have backed down, not before throwing his hands in exasperation as he exits the café. Sana stays glued to her seat, her eyes closed as she pinches the bridge of her nose.
“Is this entertaining enough for you?” Sana’s voice cuts through the silence. Dahyun flushes as she gets caught red-handed but dislikes how she is accused of something untrue. So she takes the bait and bites back.
“Nope. I don’t care.” Dahyun returned her gaze to her laptop and typed more forcefully. She entirely misses Sana’s frown and the glistening of her eyes. Sana stands abruptly and exits the cafe, the door chiming as she heads out. Dahyun continues to watch as Sana gets in her car and drives away. Guilt creeps into her system and she regrets lashing out on the latter.
---
Dahyun now discovers her new favorite place to hang out. She spent the whole night at the café, the employee there not caring about the length of her stay. Dahyun is pretty sure she fell asleep at some point but she was not thrown out. She eventually packed up at around four AM and headed home (perfect timing because her mom would still be at her shift). She still got three hours to sleep before her first period, just the right amount of rest.
---
The day starts weirdly. She retracts her earlier thought: three hours is NOT the right amount of sleep. Dahyun massages her temples to ease the heaviness she feels. Also, Sana greets her by the lockers but her brain fogged by sleepiness does not register the greeting, making her unintentionally ignore the Japanese. Only a sharp jab on her ribs by Chaeyoung makes her yelp but Sana’s already walking away from them.
“Dude, how dare you ignore Minatozaki?!” Dahyun scowls in return, rubbing the spot Chaeyoung hit.
“Did she? I didn’t notice.” Since when did Minatozaki acknowledge her existence in school? Maybe she mistook her for someone else.
“Damn, I wish Tzuyu notices me too.” Chaeyoung audibly sighs.
“The 6-footer who looks at you like she will sack you in the face? I hate to break it up to you bro but-“
And another jab, this time square on the stomach. Dahyun reels in, leaning on the lockers as Chaeyoung blows on her fist, visibly satisfied.
“Minatozaki, it’s okay I avenged you.”
---
“You look like that one cat meme.”
Dahyun looks around as if to double-check if she’s the one being directed by that statement. She doesn’t know what’s more surprising: Sana knowing a meme or Sana talking to her. She raises her brow and points at her chest to confirm if she is the one Sana is talking to.
“You don’t see anyone else around, right.” Sana rolls her eyes while Dahyun frowns, clearly offended by now.
“And you look like that rat from some chef’s hat.” Dahyun nearly snorts for accidentally rhyming her words (but she doesn’t). She doesn’t need more loser allegations or Chaeyoung will never let it die.
Sana looks offended. Dahyun pats her invisible ego for causing an expression like that from the mighty Minatozaki.
“I do not look like Remy.” Oh, so that’s that character’s name. It’s nice to know she got her reference right.
“You do, especially with that expression.” Dahyun teases her further, making Sana puff her cheeks in irritation.
“You’re annoying.” Sana retaliates.
“Okay?” Dahyun lifts an eyebrow. If she remembers it correctly, Sana’s the one who started the banter. Sana’s expression suddenly changes into something akin to remorseful. She fidgets on her necklace, giving Dahyun a whiplash on how uncommon a sight is a shy Sana.
“Look, the other night I was wrong to assume something. What I am saying is that I’m s-“
“Satang, hey!”
Momo appears out of nowhere stealing both of their attention.
“Oh Dahyun-ah, going home already?” Sweet as ever, Hirai side hugs Sana while she directs the question to her.
“Senior Hirai, yeah. Already halfway there,” She jokes, her entire demeanor brightening at the presence of her favorite senior. Sana rolls her eyes, watching the interaction from the sidelines. She latches onto Momo and drags her away from Dahyun, cutting their conversation short.
“Come on, Momo-rin. Jihyo’s probably looking for us.”
Dahyun scowls as she catches the insinuation of the action. Is she saying something before that though? She’s weird. Being weird and Sana is something you can rarely associate. Yet, all she could do was wave goodbye at the retreating seniors and watch them walk away.
---
The electric sockets are a blessing in disguise. The cushioned seat is the cherry on top. She could practically move in here (just joking or not). Dahyun contemplates for a moment whether she could get a part-time here rather than that dingy convenience store. But gosh that shop pays a lot more than those other jobs she had.
Dahyun excitedly plugs in her drained laptop as she settles further into the booth of her new favorite hangout spot. For a change, she chose a glass of iced Americano for her order. But yeah, it’s Saturday tomorrow so she’s free to stay up late all she wants.
There is a small group of office workers seemingly nursing their drunkenness a few tables away from her. It’s a nice change to have a few people around the café because it was deserted the last time she was here.
She rummages through her backpack, retrieving the only rice ball she got from work. She wasn’t quick enough to get more as the store manager had thrown them much earlier than her shift. She munched on the food quickly and started working on her drafts again, taking advantage of the spurt of ideas coming to her right now.
The rattling sounds of glass wares brought Dahyun out of focus. She glances up at the unknown figure who settles on the opposite side of her booth.
That signature smile greets her, the one that could launch a thousand ships (says one bystander during a random lunchtime). Dahyun continues to stare flabbergasted at the unexpected intruder.
“Oh, you might want to close your trap.” Sana’s smile widens if possible, clearly enjoying the reaction painted on Dahyun’s face.
“Seriously? What are you doing here?” Dahyun crosses her arms and straightens her posture, unwelcoming. Sana simply gestures towards her tray, a strawberry shake with tons of whipped cream and a single cookie on it (questionable food selection at this hour).
Dahyun could only furrow her eyebrows in return, her eyes squinting into thin lines. She points to the other tables, hinting at the unoccupied space surrounding them. Sana leans back to her seat, shooting Dahyun with only a “So? We’re friends. Friends could share tables and spaces.”
“Since when?” Dahyun wants to fire back but decides not to and ignores the girl across from her.
She goes back to work on her script but the presence in front of her is distracting.
“Are you doing homework?” Sana tries to peek at her screen, but Dahyun shields it from her prying eyes.
“It’s Friday night. There’s more random things to do than that.” Sana slurps on her milkshake instead, seeing that Dahyun is unwilling to let her see what she’s working on.
“Oh yeah, your random thing is to bother me?”
Sana smirks. “Right. It’s fun.”
Dahyun glances at her again, confusion etched on her features. She remembers Chaeyoung yapping around the party at Jackson’s crib tonight. Sana of all people, is the type of person this party caters to.
She internally debates asking the woman seated in front of her. But that means she needs to start a conversation and Dahyun doesn’t want to. (At the moment because she needs to finish at least a chapter of her script). They end up sitting in silence. Only the occasional slurping in Sana’s direction and the sound of her typing filling their booth.
At exactly an hour past midnight, Sana gets up and grabs her handbag, prompting Dahyun to look at her.
“See you around.” She throws Dahyun a wink and leaves their table. A slither of worry slips out of her. It immediately dissipates as she watches Sana drive away (at least she isn’t commuting). Only three hours more and she’ll be going home too.
And oh, what’s this?
There, lays a single piece of cookie in front of her, untouched.
(She ate the food afterward. You can’t say no to graces.)
---
“These are on the house.”
A tray of brownies with some kind of nuts is placed on the table. Dahyun immediately perks up in her seat, mesmerized by the sight of food. She didn’t have dinner yet and all she could buy was a piece of granola bar. Her earnings all went to the electric bill she had paid earlier so she could only afford a brewed coffee this time.
She looks up to the one who brought the food and sees Sana. (Are they halo behind her? No, that’s just the Sana -scratch that - FOOD effect.)
“Go on, taste them.” Sana seems eager for her to eat the brownies. She looks back at her skeptically (are these space brownies), before getting one. She immediately takes a bite of the baked goodie and munches on it. Dahyun hastily reaches for her coffee and drinks it in one gulp. It must be a curse with how she couldn’t mask her expression as she tried it.
“Fuck I understand why it’s on the house because for real they can’t sell shi-“ Oops, she overshared. As she looked up to meet Sana’s reaction, she didn’t expect the sad expression etched on her face.
Wait. These are not really on the house?
“Are these homemade?” Dahyun awkwardly gestures towards the brownies. Sana nods, obviously dejected. Dahyun points at her and Sana nods again.
Dahyun then grabs another bite of the brownie, eating it whole and successfully masking her grimace. Then another piece, and another one. Sana stares back, confused at the scene.
“Wait let me taste them one more time.” Dahyun struggles through a mouthful. Why does she have to run her mouth? She internally beats herself for lacking decorum. Someone gave her food and Dahyun should be grateful at least. Sana bursts out laughing which causes Dahyun to halt munching on the pastry.
“Seriously, it’s fine. I know I’m not the best baker” Sana finally says as she calms down. Dahyun takes another bite and awkwardly rubs her neck, still not meeting Sana’s eyes.
“Still, you offered it. The least I could do was finish them. Even if they taste so burnt.” Dahyun almost whispered the last part, causing another snort from Sana.
“That’s why I made you try it. Although, I'm sorry for not just asking you directly.” Sana leans at the table, demeanor a bit sheepish. “Honestly, you’re the only person I can think of who will tell me as it is. You don’t sugarcoat things. You don’t tolerate me as the others do just because I’m my name.”
Dahyun stares as she finishes her monologue. “Okay?” All she can think is ‘It’s still free food though’.
“So what do you honestly think?”
Oh, she wants it honestly?
“No holdbacks?” Sana nods, eagerness visible. “Well, for starters it’s salty, did you even use measurements? And with how loud I am chewing you can say it’s hard to chew as hell. And yup, burnt as well. The only good thing is the nuts.”
Sana for all the things she said doesn’t seem offended. She seems to bask at the critiques with the way her eyes spark.
“Okay, you passed. Expect more baked goods from me.” Sana says in a sing-song voice, clearly content.
“Huh? But why? What’s with the baking?”
“What why? I want to take the culinary path. Bake, manage a café, all of that.” Sana says. Dahyun tilts her head in confusion. Would her parents be against it? After all, the Minatozakis are well-known businessmen. Maybe they want Sana to inherit their company. Sana seems to catch what Dahyun is thinking and leans back to her chair.
“I told them about this, how willing I am to learn and take culinary. That I have found something I genuinely enjoy, and surprisingly they’re fine with it. Dad mostly, because he is content with me showing passion for something. Sana pauses. “Mom still needs convincing, I have to attend a college she approves of once we graduate. I still have a lot to prove them so I got to start with this. They offered me to take classes but I want to learn on my own first. I baked a lot but never got the hang of it.”
Dahyun nods, taking in what Sana has said. It’s kind of refreshing to see her talk about it. Somehow, Dahyun only knows her through the perception of others. A privileged girl who’s easygoing and two-dimensional. She smiles at seeing her talk sincerely about her plans. Dahyun thinks it’s nice to have a glimpse of just Sana (not the Minatozaki Sana).
“Bring it on,” Dahyun shoots her a smirk before she eats the last piece of brownie from the plate, her eye slightly twitching at the saltiness. “I’m not going to be an English major for nothing. My critiques will be the most flowery words you’ll hear.”
Sana scoffs, her grin widening in contrast. “Such a nerd. Don’t worry, everything you’ll try will be edible enough.”
---
Dahyun tiptoes as she enters her house, trying to be as quiet as possible. She doesn’t expect her mom in the living room waiting for her. (She nearly shits herself as she sees her.) She drops her things on the couch as she readies herself from her mother's scolding. It’s five in the morning, and she should still be at work, so why did she come home earlier than usual?
“Kim Dahyun.”
“Mom, uh I was just at Chae’s.” Her mother shakes her head, seeing right through her lie. “I know you’re doing part-time.” Busted. Dahyun looks down, not meeting her eyes.
“I told you I can still manage. All these extra shifts so you don’t have to work and focus on your studies instead.” She massages her temple, exhaustion visible on her features.
“And see you burn yourself out? I can and I want to help, Mom. Those jobs are taking a toll on you. Ryeoun could just fuck himself. He’s just leeching on you-“
“Lower your voice and do not speak to your father like that.”
“He’s not my father and will never be,” Dahyun responds with finality. “All he does is drink all day and clear our savings. The money that was supposed to be for our electric bill Mom, he just spent it on his juice. You can do better and leave him. This has been going on for years now.”
“Enough! That is not what matters right now. Just stop… go to your room. Let me handle it.” Her Mom pauses as her voice slightly breaks. “Quit your job, Dahyun. Don’t compromise your health to help me. I can still manage.”
It's a lost cause. Dahyun surrenders the argument and gathers her things. Her stepfather must be drunk as fuck, as usual, to not hear the commotion they caused. Even if her mother tells her not to work, she will continue in secrecy. She can go to college by herself. She could not let her mother handle the burden alone.
---
“Tiramisu."
Sana slides a small cup towards her. Dahyun stares blankly at the cup. She has been typing for hours, but she cannot make one coherent thought.
“Off to neverland? Come back, be here with me for a moment.” Sana teases her but underneath her tone is a tinge of worry she tries to mask. Dahyun shrugs in return, her eyes drooping because of the lack of sleep. She didn’t attend classes the whole week, opting to work different part times instead. To pay for the water bill, this time.
“Oh, thanks.” Dahyun reaches for the spoon and digs in, letting the dessert coat her mouth. She hums in approval and digs in for another taste.
“This is fine,” She mumbles, earning an excited squeal from Sana.
“You managed to balance the creaminess and the coffee flavor not to be overpowering.”
“What can I say, I’m a quick learner,” Sana smirks. Dahyun snorts in return, finishing the cup empty.
“Don’t get too cocky now.”
“Do you know what tiramisu means in Italian?” Sana asks randomly. The younger shakes her head, her brain’s currently not functioning enough.
“Cheer me up.” Sana brandishes another cup and pushes it towards Dahyun. “Such a thoughtful meaning. Right for this moment.”
Oh, did Sana notice? Dahyun feels a prick in her eyelids, a telltale sign she’s about to cry. She swallows her tears, letting out a wet chuckle instead.
“I asked Chaeyoung for you the past few days. She made me swear my heart and said you’re out working. Don’t burn yourself out, Dahyunnie.” Dahyun could picture the confusion on Chaeyoung’s face as Sana asked her whereabouts. (Her sleep-deprived brain doesn’t notice how naturally Sana uttered a nickname for her.)
“Don’t worry I won’t snitch you.” Dahyun shakes her head and believes her even without her saying it. She doesn’t peg Sana as the type to rat someone out, anyway.
She shoots her a grateful look before she takes the dessert from the table and eats it, too. The exhaustion and hunger now catching up to her. Dahyun savors the taste, noting how a simple dessert like this uplifts and does wonders for her mood.
“I spoke too soon. This is straight-up sugar.”
Sana laughs so loud that it reverberates in the whole café.
“And we’re back.”
---
Chaeyoung pulls her by the gym’s stockroom after class. “I overheard someone saying you and Minatozaki are frequently seen together.”
She then jabs a finger to her chest, making Dahyun welp in pain. “And hey! Don’t you think I forgot Sana asking about you the other day, huh.”
The shorter one of the duo glances around before whispering, “Is it true though? Something’s between the two of you? You know how the school’s population are like hyenas to anything involving their beloved it girl.”
Dahyun dismisses the topic, seeing it unworthy of any further comments. “Pay them no mind. We’re just friends. That’s none of their business anyway.” Chaeyoung mutters “Since when?” before following Dahyun outside the stockroom.
“Oh, there you are.” Sana approaches them with a Tupperware in hand, looking immaculate as usual. She politely smiles at Chaeyoung and gives Dahyun the container. Chaeyoung stiffens at her side while Dahyun takes it wordlessly.
“It’s a blueberry cheesecake. I won’t be able to meet you later so I’m giving it to you now.” Chaeyoung gasped at them but both didn’t mind her. “My parents are making me attend some kind of gathering.” Dahyun nods, examining what’s inside the container.
“Don’t worry, I’ll provide you a live reaction video of me on my deathbed.” Dahyun grins as Sana scoffs at her sarcasm.
“You’ll live. Unless you’re allergic to blueberries. Bye.” Sana flips her hair and turns, leaving a gawking Chaeyoung and a grinning Dahyun behind.
“Dude! So unfair!”
“What’s unfair? I’ll tell you sometime, bro. I’ll be heading out first.”
She dashes to avoid further interrogation by Chaeyoung.
“Don’t think it’s over you sneaky, stinky tofu!” Chaeyoung could only bellow at Dahyun’s retreating figure.
---
‘Are you free, rn?’
They have exchanged text messages before. Occasionally, they inform each other when they’re at the café. And when either of them wouldn’t be available because of Dahyun’s part-time or Sana and her family’s endless gatherings.
‘Yup, hanging out at the café as usual.’
Dahyun rereads her message one last time before hitting send. She thought that Sana was stuck at some family gathering today.
Her phone chimes almost immediately, surprising Dahyun who is still holding her phone.
‘Great! Be there in ten.’
True to her word, Sana comes in sauntering with her usual elegant stride. She’s dressed to the nines, a sleeveless floral-patterned white dress with a low (very) v-line cut. It makes Dahyun’s stare linger a bit longer than usual. It reminds her again that this is their school’s number one visual. (A title dubbed by her schoolmates making it seem like her school’s a big K-pop group.)
It surprises her even more when Sana makes a beeline to her side instead of sitting opposite her. (Too close for comfort as she feels Sana’s shoulder brush against hers.) Sana crosses her arms and lets out a huff. The crease between the young Minatozaki’s brow becomes prominent at this angle. Dahyun itches to ask what happened.
“I hate my relatives.” Oh, she doesn’t need to ask anymore. Dahyun wordlessly pushes her hot chocolate drink in her direction. She hopes it can offer comfort to the agitated woman.
“They’re always undermining me. Oh Sana, did you talk about this to your parents? Success in these things is usually a gamble. Are you sure?” Sana makes her voice bigger, imitating a guy’s mocking tone. She sinks back to her seat and does what seems to be breathing exercises.
“They always bypass the efforts I take. All they do is use our family name anyway to get what they want. They’re not one to talk.” A lone teardrop betrays her eye which Sana quickly wipes away. She reaches for the drink Dahyun offered and takes a tentative sip, letting the warmth simmer and calm her emotions.
Ironically, even though she is a writer, Dahyun isn't good at comforting people with words (or actions). One time, she gave Chaeyoung a coloring book as a get-well-soon gift after the latter broke her arm playing on the monkey bars. Perhaps she’s a little awkward, which may explain why her actions can sometimes come across as a bit off.
Not trusting her mouth, Dahyun rummages in her backpack to retrieve her gray jacket. She puts it on Sana’s shoulder after observing the latter shiver earlier. Dahyun rubs her arms for a good measure to create heat for Sana even for a while. Sana only stared at her doe-eyed as she tends to her. It prompts Dahyun to speak whatever is on her mind.
“Uh, that’s… I washed it. It’s newly washed, don’t worry.” Her mind is in shambles but she gets rewarded with Sana’s giggles instead. A pretty generous one for an awkward action. She runs her mouth to cover the effect of the giggles on her.
“And yeah. Those people who couldn’t do something themselves, usually are the first ones to tell you can’t do something.” A face pops into Dahyun’s mind as she says the words.
She playfully bumps her shoulder against Sana. “Don’t ever let someone tell you that you can’t do something. Only you have the say in that. I know sometimes it can get to you, what they say. But you, your dream, your goal, you just got to protect it,” She says it in one breath. While Sana stares at her the whole time, something unreadable lingers in those honey-brown orbs of hers.
“If it helps, I see you, your effort, and all those. It’s so genuine I want to help you protect your dream too.” Dahyun finishes, looking back at where her hands rest. The intensity of Sana’s stare makes her shy.
A pair of arms circles her neck and drags her forward. The gesture is so hastily executed it takes Dahyun a moment to register a face nuzzled on the space between her neck and shoulder. Her whole body is now facing Sana’s direction. A few more spaces, Sana will be sitting on her lap instead with how close they are.
Dahyun pats her back cautiously at first. But when the sniffles start, her hesitation fades and she fully wraps an arm around Sana’s waist. The other arm offered comforting strokes at Sana’s back.
They let themselves stay inside the bubble. Dahyun soothes Sana, whispering assurances until her cries die down. But even long after the weeping had subsided, they stayed flushed against each other. Neither seems aware of how both refuse to untangle themselves with each other.
They broke off just because of the nonstop buzzing of Sana’s phone. Her parents flood her with notifications if she has gone home. There is hesitation in their movements as they let go of each other. But a promise of a see you later makes up for it for now.
It hits her belatedly that she has let Sana take her jacket home with her.
(Take my hand, take my whole life too.)
Now who decided to play Elvis at this exact moment?
Dahyun throws an accusatory glare on the speakers blaring the classic love song. Are they reading my mind now?
Oh, fuck me.
---
The coins jingle noisily inside Dahyun’s pocket. She kind of regrets how she let Chaeyoung exchange all her money for loose change. She pulls in her pocket to retrieve her purse, subtly counting the coins as she scans the cake counter. The dark chocolate ganache cake seems all kinds of tempting. But her wallet thinks otherwise. She settled on her all-time favorite iced americano, her dream of eating the ganache cake is gone by now.
(So long my sweet, scrumptious, ganache).
She lets her head hit the desk as soon as she sits on her booth, the regret catching to her by now. The clink of glassware brought her back In reality. A body sliding beside her makes her raise her head sideways.
Of course. There she is, the ever-constant intruder and the sole culprit of her heart malfunction these days. Minatozaki Sana.
And the cake. Her dream cake is in front of them. Dahyun salivates at the sight of it. But of course, it isn’t hers so she just stares, pining.
Sana looks amused by Dahyun, before settling two pieces of fork on the plate.
“I haven’t prepared anything today.” Sana pushes the cake slightly closer to Dahyun. Dahyun perks up by now, her eyes twinkling as if it's possible. Although she's still shy to voice her preference she just stares again at Sana with hopeful eyes.
“We can share this, that’s what I’m saying.” Sana finishes, her cheeks flushed slightly. “A palate cleanser for all the taste testing you’ve done.”
“I’m more than happy to help.” Dahyun gets the insinuation and responds cheekily. “Here, we can share my drink.” She pushes the drink towards Sana, internally happy that she ordered a larger size than normal so that she could share.
“Dork.” The Japanese bites back her growing smile, a flush of pink fully powdering her cheeks by now. It’s annoying how endearing the action is, making Sana’s heart beat faster than normal.
“Now that I think about it.” Dahyun ponders. “How come you can bring me outside pastries without us being chastised or even charged with.”
“Oh, did I forget to tell you?” Sana sips on their shared beverage, drinking on the same straw Dahyun uses (which causes Dahyun’s heart rate to spike up).
“This café is owned by my parents.” Dahyun gawks in response.
“Seriously? And you didn’t tell me?”
“I mean this café does look Japanese enough? And the store's name is Nomu. You can't get more Japanese than that." Sana tilts her head, making Dahyun look away at the sight of the motion. (Cute.) "They might not also say it but they invested on one for me to have a place to practice."
“Points taken. Your parents are thoughtful for considering that for you too."
Dahyun notes as she examines the cherry blossom wall design on the back of the cashier counter. As she ponders, a smidge of chocolate on the corner of Sana’s lips gets her sidetracked. She absentmindedly rubs it using her thumb. Only with Sana freezing at her action does it register what she has done.
Dahyun grabs a nearby tissue, then wipes her thumb as calmly as possible (or as calmly as she can look because on the inside she’s frazzled). Sana seems to be frozen, paused in place, and a deepening blush gradually grows on her face.
“You have chocolate. Right there, but I already removed it.”
Sana frantically grabs her phone and checks her reflection through the camera app. She appears to compose herself first before retrieving another set of tissues to wipe any remnants of the chocolate on her face.
“Thank you.” Then a giggle breaks out of her, sounding too giddy than usual. Either way, it’s still music in Dahyun’s ears.
---
There’s an extra force on the way Dahyun’s currently typing. She’s stuck for ages now that she’s approaching near end of her script. Sana watches her from the side, finishing the remains of her red velvet cupcakes (that was a little dry and crumbly).
One last forceful tap on the space bar then Dahyun tugs on her hair in frustration.
“These damn scenes and I couldn’t move past describing it.”
Sana feeds her the last cupcake while she reads the part Dahyun’s stuck with.
“Well, I remember you saying once when creating a scenario. Something like focusing on a specific sensory detail will help it get by.”
It takes Dahyun by surprise that Sana remembers all the ramblings and nerdy writer stuff she blurts out of nowhere. How she makes good points too as she tries to offer input on Dahyun’s work. It makes Dahyun swoon a bit because hey, isn’t she brilliant?
“Tell me something I don’t know already.” Sana gives her a teasing smile as she wipes the crumbs at the corner of Dahyun’s mouth. Did she blurt it aloud? Dahyun covers her face with her hand.
“But I’m serious, Dahyunnie this is well-written. I'm so invested at the protagonist even if you have written her with all those flaws.”
“Well, consider yourself VIP with the way you can read this exclusive and free.”
“Should I ask for your signature now? Might be good to start now then I’ll sell them in the future.” Sana banters back.
“Focus, Sana, but yes let me in that business.” Dahyun high-fives her, on board with anything that will earn them money. “Wait, I’ll get us water, skim the pages and let me know what you think.”
---
“Do my eyes deceive me or does the vest look that fashionable?” Sana says through a series of suppressed giggles. “Work it, Dahyunnie.”
Dahyun rolls her eyes playfully as she punches the items Sana bought.
A lone yogurt drink and a strawberry-flavored lollipop. Very Sana coded.
It’s an hour before she clocks out and Sana decides to wait for her to finish her shift. Then they will head to the café together.
Sana spends the whole time asking random questions. It ranges from ‘Dahyunnie, what’s the most sold item here?’ or ‘Have you ever worked drunk before?’ Dahyun answered whatever the former asked her while multitasking with the register. (That’s how whipped she is.)
Sana, being as friendly as she is, even starts conversations with random strangers. Which earns her lingering stares, mostly lovestruck ones. Dahyun contemplates having her wait in the back room when some guy asks for her number. (This feels like the longest shift Dahyun had in a while.)
She clocks at exactly ten, carrying bonus take-outs that Dahyun manages to hide from Sana’s sight. (Because Sana would ask for some and Dahyun couldn’t risk her becoming sick from consuming an expired good).
“It’ll be December a few days from now.” Sana starts, skipping on the pavement. Dahyun brushes her hands together. The cold November air sinking further through all the covers she wears. She saw a coat from the surplus days ago, maybe it’s not bad to splurge on one or she’ll get sick with the chill air.
“My family insists that we spend Christmas in Japan. But I will spend my birthday back in here, just a few days before the new year.” Sana turns to her, making Dahyun stop abruptly to avoid bumping into her.
“We’re going to see each other less than usual through the holidays.” Sana pouts and it sends Dahyun a shot through the heart.
The younger tries to display an air of casualness, patting Sana on the head as she walks past her. “Don’t worry, you can call me anytime you want. I understand how much you’ll miss my critiques. They’re very addicting.”
“I’m not that much of a masochist.” Sana banters back but suddenly she squeals, making Dahyun look back in surprise.
“It’s snowing, Dahyunnie!” Sana tries to cup the falling snow, faint at first to be visible by eye but the downpour gets heavier as time passes by.
Dahyun’s heart swells at the sight. Sana looks very much like a shiba inu, with the little skips and twirls she makes as the snow pours.
If three months ago someone asked Dahyun what it is like to be close to Sana, she’d answer by blowing a raspberry at how incredulous it sounds. But here, having a front seat view of a carefree Sana, in her pure, unfiltered self, she realizes it is a sight she wouldn’t trade for the world.
“Eep!”
Sana miscalculates a step, causing her to slip and let out a squeak. Dahyun, when it comes to Sana, reacts on pure instinct and immediately wraps her arms to prevent her from falling on the ground.
“Geez, Sana-yah be careful,” Dahyun scolds her, tightening her grip around the girl’s waist. “I know you have insurance and all but we can’t cash it out too early.”
The Japanese hit her weakly on the chest before settling her hands entwined on Dahyun’s nape. “I know you’re there to catch me anyway, Dahyunnie.”
As if pulled by some unknown magnetic force, their gaze stays connected. Both wearing flushed cheeks and bashful smiles, the downpour completely forgotten. Sana unconsciously rubs Dahyun’s nape with her thumb, making the younger shiver at the lightness of the touch.
The blast of the engine of a passing car disengages them both from each other albeit reluctantly. The surprise doesn’t end as Dahyun puts her backpack on her front and then crouches adjacent to Sana. The random act confuses the Minatozaki heir.
“Hop in,” Dahyun simply says. “Can’t risk further collateral damages with you.”
“Are you serious?” Sana laughs in response.
“Come on, Dahyun Express is ready for you.”
Without further resistance, Sana climbs on Dahyun’s back, her arms encircling around her neck. Dahyun securely grips the back of Sana’s knees and makes sure that the woman is comfortably resting on her back.
“Yes, body heat at last.”
“You’re just using me huh, after all.” Sana playfully shakes Dahyun who lets out a laugh in return. She settles closer to Dahyun, nuzzling her nose and inhaling the familiar scent on her scarf.
“I like this. It’s making me sleepy,” Sana mumbles, already on the verge of dozing off.
“Go on. Should I take you back home instead?”
“No! I still want to spend time with you,” Sana whines on her back, a bit incoherent as she struggles to stay awake. Only the tightening of the grip around the younger’s shoulder is the telltale sign of Sana’s protest.
“Okay, we’ll be at the café in no time.”
“No need to rush… You’re comfy, Dahyunnie. I like this, so close to you. Like it a lot,” Sana speaks with long pauses between sentences. Dahyun struggles to understand, leaving her to mutter about the girl’s cuteness instead.
---
“It’s Minatozaki’s birthday in a few weeks.” Dahyun sighs, the date’s quickly approaching. Chaeyoung continues her gossip and tells her about the upcoming biggest party this year that Hirai will be holding for her dear cousin.
The whole school's population is treating it like a national holiday. It’s amazing how her schoolmates and classmates alike are updated even on their holiday vacation. (Don’t they have their family gatherings to attend?) She would still be working on the holidays so she’s not keen on attending it (that is if she’s even invited in the first place).
She had already bought a gift though. An apron decorated with frills she luckily stumbled on one of her part-times. There’s also a bonus pair of oven mitts she did not even hesitate to add to her cart. (Just because they are cutesy and hamster-themed.) Somehow the clothing just reminds her of Sana and it’s a first for her to not even care for the price of the item. Even if it costs more than the usual things she purchases (so long fluffy thermal coat.)
It's a little appreciation gift too for all the feeding Sana has given her. She feels like the grinch with the way her heart seems to grow three times larger thinking of how Sana’s been good to her.
And all she could afford were these pieces of clothing. It’s better than nothing, she thinks. Dahyun hopes Sana likes them, that's all that matters.
---
“I hope whatever you prepared is holiday-themed.” Dahyun anticipates as she looks at the box containing whatever pastry Sana brought. It’s just a week before Christmas and this may be the last time they’ll meet for a while. With Sana celebrating the upcoming Christmas back in Japan and Dahyun, being buried with part-time jobs.
Sana smiles, drumming her fingers at the table for dramatic effect. She then opens the box, revealing Candy cane-shaped cookies.
“It’s not fruitcake. I wouldn't let you go that torture, at least.” Dahyun high-fives her as both of them are not really a fan of that dessert. Sana then eagerly pushes the cookies towards Dahyun.
“The design’s kinda nice.” Dahyun takes a quick snap of both the cookies and the baker before getting one. She tentatively takes a bite, savoring it before she speaks.
“Oh god, this is too sweet.” Dahyun reaches for her brewed coffee, drowning the taste with bitterness. Sana pouts, and leans back to her seat.
“Hey before you sulk, this is just my personal opinion, okay.” Dahyun starts, not liking how sad it made Sana.
“Personally, I'm kind of neutral with sugar cookies. But how you made these is actually good. Not burnt or uncooked.” She watches how the spark returns to Sana’s eyes, bringing flutters to her stomach as she sees her smile widen. “Kudos also on how you design it.”
“You’re generous with compliments today, huh.”
“It’s the Christmas spirit in me. Ho-ho.” Dahyun grins.
And before her courage runs out, she rummages at her backpack and retrieves a package. Dahyun slides the wrapped package towards Sana, her eyes focusing back to the cookies as she did. The Japanese girl tilts her head in confusion as she looks at it.
“It’s for you.” Dahyun takes one of the cookies, trying to conceal her blush.
Sana curiously reaches for the package and unwraps it slowly. She lets out a delighted squeal as she recognizes the items out of the wrap. She hugs It closely towards her chest, cheeks reddening in glee.
“This is so cute! What’s this for?” Sana runs her hand on the frills of the apron. Dahyun internally pats herself for picking the right design.
“Encouragement. You’re getting better at baking now.” Sana hits her playfully, and a giddy smile breaks into her face.
“Yah! These mitts are perfect! And what’s with this embroidery? Look, my name’s in it too!” Sana points out the hamster patch in the center. She’s like a hyperactive kid with those reactions.
“It’s you. Hi Remy.” Dahyun grins, enjoying the way Sana puffs her cheeks in mock annoyance. “Oh and also, happy birthday in advance.”
In a flash, Sana lets the gifts rest on her lap and reaches to cup Dahyun’s face, gently rubbing her thumb on both of her cheeks. It amazes Dahyun with how sparkling and dazzling Sana's eyes are and how they seem to hold a personal galaxy in them. Sana leans forward, kissing Dahyun dangerously close to the corner of her lips. The kiss imprints a warmth that makes Dahyun yearn for more.
“Thank you.” There it is again, the mysterious haze glazing Sana’s eyes, passing too quickly for Dahyun to further analyze. It is quickly replaced with a softness Dahyun can’t help but feel her stomach flutter to it.
Sana’s touch lingers at her cheeks before she settles on resting her head on Dahyun’s shoulder as she toys on the younger’s collar. The space between them is almost nonexistent as Dahyun’s hands lightly caress Sana’s lower back. How dare Sana act so casually as if what transpired was a common occurrence. She doesn’t even notice how Dahyun’s face has become full-blown red as a tomato. Suddenly, all her overtime last week was worth it. There’s also a magical boost in her energy right now as if she could work five shifts continuously.
“There’s a party on the 29th. You should come.” Sana adds after a moment. Dubbed as the biggest party of the year, of course, Dahyun already knows about it. She still contemplates how could she say she will be unavailable on that day, though.
“I have work by then. That’s why I gave you my gift in advance.” Dahyun rubs her thumb on Sana’s waist as she notices the latter deflates at her answer.
“Still, if you can. You’re welcome to go.”
“Nah, I’m just teasing you. Of course, I’ll be there.” She squeezes Sana further into her, feeling her smile against her collarbone. Dahyun internally plots all the shortcuts to be made just so she can attend Sana’s birthday.
What can she say? She is utterly, obviously whipped.
No point in denying it now.
---
Time goes by quickly as Dahyun buries herself into work. Sana constantly sends her snaps of Osaka. They have texted almost every day since the vacation started.
Dahyun sends her the final excerpts of the script she’s been close to finishing. She likes Sana’s output, her wit is not to be underestimated. It’s as if the script has also become their merged project.
‘Dahyunnie, I’m back~’
She is greeted by Sana’s text as she wakes up late on a random afternoon. Dahyun has worked double shifts throughout yesterday so she’s still disengaged.
Her alarm goes off immediately with a note ‘Be at Yoo’s resto at 3!’ It immediately sends Dahyun into a panic considering it’s quarter to three already.
She packs her backpack in a rush, stuffing an extra shirt and a toothbrush in it. She’ll just use the bathroom there to freshen up.
But of course, she didn’t forget to send Sana a text first.
‘Okaeri! I used it right, right? *wink emoji’
Sana answers with a flood of heart and kissy face emojis.
‘You’re taking after me. We’ll be two peas in a pod soon *heart emojis’
Dahyun rolls her eyes in response to Sana’s silliness.
‘Look at you learning my idioms. Oh and Sana, Happy Birthday!’
---
There’s still an hour left before the day ends and Dahyun promises she’ll make time to attend Sana’s party. She clocked out as soon as her shift ended and rushed to get back home. She needs to look presentable enough for Sana. (Of course, she wanted to look good for her. I’m the gift, duh. Just kidding.)
The buzz of the television and her stepfather’s laughter welcomes her. She tiptoes through the hallway to avoid interacting with him. It catches her attention how her room was unlocked. Dahyun reaches the knob and pushes the door, fingers trembling on the possibilities. She takes a deep breath and opens the light, and gosh does her heart drop at the sight she sees.
Scattered bits of mechanical parts of her laptop are all over her room. Dahyun doesn’t know where to look at, all that could register are archives of her work are all gone.
She picks up the closest piece by her feet: a chip of some kind.
“I told you college’s not an option.” The gruff voice of her stepfather echoes at her side. It awakens the fury she held back so many times. Dahyun makes a fist, the nails burying into her palm as if to restrain herself from doing something she might regret.
“Writing will get you nowhere.” Her stepfather stifles a laugh. “Your mom’s enslaving herself but still barely getting us through. And you think you’ll be able to go to-“
Dahyun, in an instant, is in his face, and she notices the smell of alcohol wafting from him. She clutches his collar, unable to hold on for much longer.
“Don’t. Insult me all you want but don’t you ever include Mom on this. You’re fucking useless, looking at you is a pity.” A searing hot pain instantly makes its way towards the left side of her face. Her stepfather’s palm smacks her, and she feels the ring on his finger nick her cheek.
“Keep your hands off of me you ungrateful bitch.” Dahyun cradles her cheek, a trail of blood dripping down her cheek. Her stepfather grabs her face with more force, getting ready to smack her again.
“Fuck you.” Dahyun escapes his grasp, as his drunkenness makes him sloppy. She storms out, not bothering herself with the profanities coming out of his mouth.
---
Dahyun rushes, her feet working on autopilot.
To Sana. Get to Sana, that’s all she needs.
She reaches Sana’s house and isn’t prepared to see a whole bunch of people lounging everywhere. She internally smacks herself as the scene finally registers to her. Sana’s birthday party flew right over her head because of the earlier event that transpired.
It makes her conscious because her face is busted right now. (A bleeding cheek is not suitable as an icebreaker, is it?)
So Dahyun puts on her hood, enough to conceal her face and maneuvers through the crowd. She just wants a glimpse of Sana.
And there, in the living room, effortlessly captivating the crowd is the young Minatozaki. The birthday girl. Somehow, the scene alleviates the heaviness Dahyun feels. She unconsciously smiles, her feet magnetically dragging her toward her favorite person.
But as she is about to take the final steps towards Sana, something clicks inside her. Maybe she is being selfish. Dahyun’s a mess, the sting of her cheek and eyes are a reminder. Who is she to demand attention from Sana? What could she possibly offer her? She doesn’t want to burden her. Each thought adds a dull ache and heaviness back to her step.
Sana laughs at something being whispered to her ear by someone. (That’s Miyeon, Dahyun thinks.) Dahyun grimaces and completely halts in place. This is all a wrong decision. She was about to turn when Sana accidentally caught her eye from a distance. All she could do was avert her gaze and adjust the hood further to cover her face. She needs to get away from here. She needs to escape quickly.
But still, Sana catches up to her, arms draping with affection on her shoulders.
“You came!”
But as soon as the hood of Dahyun’s jacket comes undone, giving Sana a clear view of the younger’s face, her demeanor completely changes.
“Oh Dahyunnie.” Sana cups her face delicately, the pad of her thumb brushes her bloodied cheek, feather-light in touch. She touches the corner of her lips too, making Dahyun aware of the sting of her busted lip. The gentleness of her action causes a wave of comfort in Dahyun, her body automatically leaning towards Sana’s touch. “What happened?”
Sana moves her face so that they’re directly looking at each other. Dahyun could see swirls of affection and worry in the older’s eyes. She gulps before placing her hands above Sana’s own, squeezing it gently before taking them off her face. She grasps it together with hers, savoring the feel of their entwined hands. She pulls them aside somewhere more private, away from prying eyes.
“Just… handled some troublemakers at my part-time.” The younger averts her gaze to her feet. She gives one final squeeze on Sana’s hands before letting it go gently. Sana frowns at the loss of contact, quickly looping her hands on Dahyun’s arm.
“They must be looking for you now, go on. I’ll be going home anyway. Thought I could just drop by, I promised you.” Dahyun offers a smile, which comes out more of a grimace because of the cut on her cheek.
Sana firmly shakes her head and proceeds to tug on Dahyun’s arm. “I don’t care. Come with me, we should treat that first.”
Dahyun shakes her head and pries Sana’s hands again off of her. “I can manage. Go enjoy, it’s your special day after all.” Dahyun pinches Sana’s cheek and it looks like Sana still wants to argue. Jihyo’s voice suddenly comes booming out of nowhere as she calls for Sana. One last bout of selfishness. Dahyun musters her courage and leans forward to place a fleeting kiss on Sana’s forehead. Dahyun fights the urge to let the kiss linger much longer.
“Happy Birthday again, Sana.”
Dahyun turns away, ignoring Sana as she calls for her.
---
She stops coming to the café after that night. Sana would flood her messages and send her snaps of the pastries she is supposed to try. But all she could do is send short replies of I’m busy, sorry. Or sometimes not reply at all.
The new year passed by, too quick for Dahyun's liking. It helps that their classes do not start yet so that Dahyun can have minimal interactions with Sana.
Sana finally corners her, after one of her endless shifts.
“Did I do something? You’re avoiding me.” Sana’s tone is shaking. Dahyun couldn’t look at her properly, focusing on sorting the items back to its shelves.
“I'm not.” Dahyun sighs. "I'm just swamped with work."
“You think I couldn’t see that? You’re overworking yourself.” She knows she looks like shit. She couldn’t even remember the last time she slept properly.
“And what happened, that night on my birthday?
“Nothing.” Dahyun deflects. She can’t or she will completely break down.
“Why are you shutting me out?” There are tears in Sana’s voice and that is Dahyun’s weakness. She finally looks at Sana and sees tears are already streaming down her face. She should not cry for her.
“I’m sorry, Sana.” She reaches for her and wipes her tears, flinching immediately as she is not supposed to do it freely. Sana backs away as if burnt by her touch, sending a pang of hurt to Dahyun.
“Don’t waste your time on me,” Dahyun says with visible resignation. “You’ll do great when you put your mind to it. You don’t need me anymore to taste your creations.”
“You think that’s the only reason I spend time with you?” Sana scoffs at her. “You really think that less of me?”
All Dahyun could do was shift her eyes to the ground. When Sana senses that the former would not say anything, she storms away wordlessly. Dahyun thinks it is for the best.
---
There's a couple of movers that greets Dahyun after school. Are they past due date already? Dahyun stops one of the workers from moving a couch out of their living room.
"Dahyun-ah it's okay, I booked them."
Her mother's voice interrupts her queries. "Rather, I asked Chaeyoung to book them." Dahyun shoots her a confused look. Her mother pulls her back inside their home.
"I filed a restraining order for Ryeoun. It's long overdue." Dahyun's mom says with remorse. "I'm sorry I tolerated him causing you to suffer so much." Dahyun shakes her head with vigor and hugs her mom.
"Mom, you suffered too." Dahyun's voice cracks as her mother squeezes her.
"I know. But I won't let him now. He had it coming." Her mother pauses, holding back a sob.
"I decided to throw everything that he owns and will remind us of him. Just a fresh start for both of us."
Dahyun nods, taking it all in. "I'll help too." She tries to remove herself from their embrace but her mom pulls her back.
"I'm sorry I couldn't do much for you and your laptop. And for not appreciating your help as you work."
"It's fine. Also, I'd rather let it get destroyed than for either of us to be hurt, Mom."
"Got all these for a huge deal!" Chaeyoung bursts in the doorway, carrying bunch of paper bags with fast food inside. She stops, embarrassed at interrupting a moment.
"Come here buddy." Dahyun extends a hand towards her best friend. Chaeyoung joins in the huddle with no hesitations but not before setting the food in the counter nearby.
---
She knows she couldn’t run on energy drinks and granola bars forever (and Chaeyoung's unique, prepared bento selections.) Between helping her mom with their home, to endless shifts and classes, and trying to salvage what she could turn into a new script, it’s taking a toll on her health. It didn’t even register she had fallen asleep in the secluded area of the school’s library for almost the whole day.
Dahyun shifts as she feels the school’s cleaner politely wakes her up. She retrieves her phone in her pocket and looks at the time. Just half past five. She’s needed at the store today, but her body’s not cooperating. She's all sluggish as she forcefully drags herself back to her classroom. But a sudden bout of nausea hits her, making her stop in place. Dahyun leans on the wall to pace herself; everything is spinning right now. She wonders if she can make it to the clinic with all the tiredness weighing on her. Just a few steps more and she’ll make it…
Or not.
---
The soft hum of an air conditioner wakes her. Next is the familiar scent wafting around her, like a soft blanket lulling her back to sleep. It’s comfortable here. When did she last feel this comfortable?
Oh fuck. She’ll be late.
Dahyun abruptly gets up. The towel resting on her forehead flinging a few spaces away from her. “Shit shit shit.”
“Stay still. You’re sick.” The stern voice of Sana sounds so foreign. Dahyun freezes as the scene finally registers to her. She's in Sana’s room. Did she faint somewhere and did Sana brought her here? She couldn’t remember where she fainted though.
“I’m sorry. I have troubled you enough. I- I’ll be going.” Dahyun tries to get up, but Sana takes both of her arms and puts her back in place.
“I said you’re still sick. You're running a fever and it's a miracle you could go to school with a fever that high.”
Dahyun stares as Sana scolds her. She turns away, concealing the happiness she feels knowing Sana still cares for her. That's enough to know. “Oh, I’ll just go home and rest. Um thank you, Sana.” Dahyun squeezes one of Sana’s hands and gets up slowly. She takes her things which are neatly arranged at the table beside the bed and heads to the door.
“I hate you,” Sana says just as Dahyun turns the knob. It prompts Dahyun to look at her. She does not blame the former judging on how she treated her. Still, it does not hurt any less hearing it directly from her.
“I hate you for scaring me. I found you on the floor, almost lifeless, and I got scared something bad happened to you. I hate that I still care for you even if you did not even think twice in avoiding me. I hate that you’re so averse to me while I- I loved you."
Dahyun stills. Loved?
Sana seems to catch what she said and turns completely away from Dahyun. Dahyun steps closer to her.
“Loved?”
With Sana's back turned to Dahyun, she could not make what expression she has.
“G-go home Dahyun.”
But Dahyun can’t. When those words make her heart bursting at the seams.
“C-can I just be selfish and say it back? That I want you?” Dahyun stops a few feet away from Sana, hands clasp at her sides as she tries to control herself not to reach out to her.
“I want you so bad. Yet I'm afraid I could ruin you, Sana.” She couldn't deny herself of what she feels anymore. The tears start to fall. Her longing for the young Minatozaki amplifies the moment she sees her. The heart really grows fonder with distance.
“I walked away that day because I realized I have nothing to offer you. And you- you deserved everything.”
She's tired. Tired of pretending and holding everything together.
“I always wondered if I was meant for at least one good thing in this lifetime. If I could just be selfish and impatient so that I can get something I want all to myself. But then, I looked at my parents and I was afraid of going the same route as them."
"That night weeks ago, I had a confrontation with my stepdad. He ruined the only thing I got working for me. But through all those haze of anger, I remember you, you're my only solace at that very moment. There's only one thing running through my mind and that is to run to you." Dahyun chokes back a sob, she must look silly with all the tears running down her face.
Sana could not resist and finally turns to face her. She takes cautious steps towards Dahyun, closing the remaining gap between them. She breaths shakily as she takes in Dahyun's words. But her hands still find its way to cup Dahyun's face and wipe the tears on her face.
"I'm so torn because maybe I'm just dragging you down with me. I try not to fall for you. But then as we spend time together and with every glimpse of you I can’t help but yearn again. Wish that you're mine. Mine to care for. Just mine to be devoted to."
“I don’t want you to be dragged into my mess. You deserve everything, Sana. I promise to protect your dream, right?” She feels Sana strokes her cheeks so softly that Dahyun couldn’t resist but to further melt at her touch.
“Look at me, hey,” Sana says, the wisps of her breath make Dahyun shiver and more aware of how close they are. Their foreheads are pressed together as Sana speaks. “Your mess is mine too, Dahyun. Loving you just makes sense. You make me feel things I wasn’t aware I could feel. But you -oh god you make me feel so much. You make me feel cared for and nurtured. You just exist and I can’t help but feel myself fall into you.” Sana rubs her nose against Dahyun's.
All those uttered words, the depth of emotions in them. How could Dahyun resist? It’s Sana in the first place, her inhibitions don’t stand a chance.
All Dahyun could do is surrender completely. She closes the gap and kisses Sana, tentative at first, then deeply, pouring all her passion and affection into the kiss unbridled. Sana reciprocates with the same intensity, and tugs her impossibly closer, her hands becoming woven in her hair. Dahyun responds by encircling her arms into Sana’s waist caging her, their bodies nearly merging into one.
“I’m so in love with you, Sana,” Dahyun confesses in between kisses, making Sana whimper in delight.
“I love you so much, Dahyunnie,” Sana whispers the words against her lips. It’s as if they’re afraid of even the littlest loss of contact so the words fall with their lips still connected. As if with those words spoken, their souls become tangled too.
---
"Penny for your thoughts?"
Dahyun pecks Sana on her head as she settles a tray with a single Iced Americano on their table. Sana beams at her and pulls Dahyun in a proper kiss. She pulls away satisfied with the way Dahyun's all flustered.
"Hi babe." Dahyun swoons hearing the pet name. Everyday she reminds herself how lucky she is being loved back by the most wonderful girl in the whole wide world. (Chaeyoung teases that she became insufferable recently. Give her a break. She's just in love.)
"Do you remember during our holiday break, you sent me excerpts of your script." Sana becomes shy all of a sudden. She then retrieves something at her purse and turns to Dahyun again.
Sana slides a USB drive at the table. Dahyun looks at it, confused of what it contains.
“I was so proud of your work so I compiled it and saved it in this.” Sana finishes and gives her a reluctant smile.
“The original plan was to print this so I could turn it into a book. I don’t know. I just want to commemorate your work into something tangible like this but now maybe it’s a silly ide-“
Dahyun steals the rest of her sentence anyway and drowns her in a kiss. A kiss so passionate and lingering that Sana immediately got lost in it. It doesn’t matter if it’s messy and they're in public. They clearly couldn’t get enough of each other, anyway.
---
Boxes are scattered everywhere. The only room without mess is their bedroom where a couch as a makeshift bed lays in the middle. The delivery for the bed they ordered is delayed so they settle on improvising. Mr. Minatozaki insisted on suing the shop but Sana managed to convince him not to press charges. (She couldn't say the real reason being how romantic it is to cuddle on a small space like a couch. Cuddle, among other things, wink wink.)
Dahyun wipes the beads of sweat on her forehead as she places tupperwares filled with food her mom prepared at the table. She looks around their rented apartment for her girlfriend who may be lost in sorting their things in their corresponsing room already.
She spots the cabinet Sana's mother gifted them placed on the far left corner of their room. It reminds her the first time she met Sana's parents and being dote upon is last on her list of expectations. Something about Dahyun being the first person to be introduced as Sana's girlfriend have them immediately take a liking on her. The Minatozakis are far from their business powerhouse image and she understands now where Sana got her warmth from. They're both just normal, doting parents with money and reputation.
With Sana's unwavering support, Dahyun passes a scholarship offered by one of Ms. Bae's colleagues. It is from one of the top universities in the capital and getting there by scholarship is uncommon. Sana too, strives in her culinary journey and gets into a university approved by her parents. Which coincidentally is the same school with Dahyun.
They both agreed to share an apartment because 1. It is practical for rent (more on Dahyun's side because she insists on paying), and 2. "Oh Dahyunnie, I could not be away from you," Sana says in dramatics. (It's mutual, Dahyun adds.
Dahyun finally finds Sana in the kitchen, putting a picture in the mini refrigerator they got on sale. The magnet Sana is using is a gift from Chaeyoung whose currently on the other side of the world. "Travel first before encaging myself in the shackles of education," Chaeyoung exclaims as she goes solo travelling.
Dahyun stops behind Sana and wraps her arms around her waist, her chin resting on Sana's shoulder. Dahyun feels Sana sighs in content and leans more on her embrace.
"We're cute there. Who knew Genie and Mera has that chemistry."
Sana snorts and rolls her eyes. "I almost thought of ditching you the moment I saw that shade of blue."
Dahyun fakes a gasp, lifting her chin off of Sana's shoulder. "Excuse me, I saw you looking at my six-pack that night and you dragged me into some room immediately. Momo scolded us for turning her sheets blue."
"Fine, you made me fall for you a little bit that night." Sana bites on her lip, as she traces the corner of the polaroid. She turns her head to kiss Dahyun on the cheek. Dahyun squeezes her back, savoring the press of her lips.
"By the way, Mom sent us kimchi-jjigae and some other side dishes. She says she made sure to prepare it extra spicy for your liking."
Sana jumps in glee while in her arms, making Dahyun smile as she practically is jumping now, too.
"What are we waiting for Dahyunnie? I'm so hungry I'm going to faint now." Sana drags her while her arms are still circled at her waist.
---
Dahyun sometimes still overthinks. She ponders if this is a product of her struggling in the earlier times of her life. But these days she finds herself feeling more elated, and just content. She can't deny having a certain Minatozaki by her side makes her world a lot lighter and brighter.
She still pushes herself to be worth being loved by Sana. (Because Sana deserves the best, she reiterates. Dahyun's the lucky one. Although Sana debates otherwise.) But most of the time, she doesn't dwell in it anymore, rather she just lets herself love Sana in any way she could.
Dahyun's no stranger in mishaps and struggles. Her life's been a mess, always have been. But it's getting better, infinitely better than before.
Life is great. She can say it now.
---
Fin.