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Standing outside of the apartment door, keys clenched tightly in his right hand as a gentle nighttime breeze came through, Shadow exhaled as he let his posture relax. ‘Finally..’ he thought as he fumbled through his keys, finding the one to open the door.
He was drained. Emotionally and physically. Sure, work for G.U.N. was one of the factors that played into his exhaustion, but there was something bigger that pushed- no, shoved down on his shoulders, threatening to crush him under the almost overwhelming emotion that came with it.
Today.. was Maria’s birthday.
Well, it would be her birthday. He remembers the date so well, November 1st. It is more important to him than his own birthday. It’s not like he even cares to remember his own birthday anyways, what’s the point of celebrating or remembering if you aren’t given the privilege of aging that’s meant to go with the yearly celebration?
Not bothering to announce his arrival to his roommate and colleague, (also his best friend, but would he admit that out loud? Hah, no) he opened the front door gently, but shut it a little harder than necessary as instead of stumbling over to the couch and passing out, he just leaned his back against the door, sliding down until he thumped onto the floor, his tired legs being brought up to his face as he wrapped his arms around them into the fetal position.
Nodding off as he buried his face into his knees, he didn’t notice Rouge come out from her bedroom, dressed in her lounge robe and fluffy slippers.
“Welcome back, hon.” She began, stopping a few feet in front of where Shadow sat, concern starting to show on her face. “..You alright?”
Unsurprisingly, she received nothing more than a ‘hmpf’ from her friend. But that wasn’t going to do.
Rouge took a couple of more steps forward and crouched down to now sit next to Shadow who hadn’t stirred from where he sat. She knew what today was, Shadow told her about it a couple of years back and she was aware of how miserable the day made him feel. She always did her best to comfort him and calm him down during one of his dramatic and depressive episodes, but she knew there was a certain someone who could do better at letting him be open then she could, she wasn’t much better with emotions than her friend was.
Just a moment later, she remembered a message she got from that certain someone earlier that day. At this thought a small smirk started to play onto her features
“You know..” she began, “Blue messaged me earlier, he wanted to meet up with you tonight~” she stated with a knowing tone in her voice.
“Rouge..” Shadow finally spoke, “It’s almost midnight.” He started to pick his head up now, his expression unamused.
Rouges smirk only widened slightly, to Shadow making her look like a devious gremlin. She put a hand on his shoulder and sighed. “He wanted to meet at like, 2am. He said something about a cliff..” she gave Shadows shoulder a gentle squeeze, “I didn’t know you two were so close!~”
“Why does he want to see me?” Shadow asked, either ignoring or being completely oblivious to his friends tone.
“Like I just said, he wants to hang out.” She stated, “how about you just go to sleep for an hour and I’ll wake you later, ‘kay?”
“I never agreed to going.” Shadow stated, now resting his chin on his knees while his arms were still loosely wrapped around his shins.
“If you go…” Rouge paused, there was a beat, and she spoke again, “I’ll buy you coffee beans for the next month.”
“Two months.”
Rouge sighed as her hand that was resting on Shadows' shoulder slid off and onto her own leg, “Fine, deal.”
“Alright then..” Shadow started as he slowly stood back up, “I’m only doing this for the coffee beans though.”
Both of them knew that was mostly a lie.
—————————————————————
“Wakey Wakey, sleepy head~”
Shadow got at most an hour and a half of rest before Rouge was excitedly standing over him from beside the bed.
“This is so dumb..” he mumbled to himself as he sat up. Yes. It was dumb, meeting up with Sonic at such an hour was dumb. That didn’t stop the light blush that threatened to creep onto his face at the thought of the blue idiot.
His mind kept saying ‘Do it for the beans!’ in a very silly and animated voice as if it were trying to use theatrics to distract himself from the idea of going out with Sonic so late at night..
Shaking his head, Shadow looked to the clock on his night stand. It read 1:45 a.m., he could just grab a coat and walk out, but Rouge kept pestering him from beside his bed about telling her all the details tomorrow morning. Shadow wasn’t the best with spotting what she was trying to imply with her words, so he just brushed her off.
“Hand me my shoes.” He asked, Rouge obliged by picking up the chunky boots from beside Shadow's dresser and tossing them onto the bed, at which Shadow let out a low grumble of disapproval as he immediately picked them up off his bed. Rouge giggled.
“Have fun and stay safe, handsome~” she cooed as she exited the bedroom, leaving the hedgehog alone with himself and his thoughts.
He put his shoes on and brought them to life, allowing himself to stand up and run a hand through his upturned quills. He let out a long and dramatic sigh, “Why am I even doing this..” he thought out loud to himself. He knew he was capable of just not going, he could just leave the blue hedgehog alone at their spot, probably waiting for him to show up. Just.. waiting.
The idea of leaving him alone out in the cold made his stomach do an upsetting and nauseating flip, ‘how long would Sonic wait for him?’ In reality, he wanted to be there already, showing up his heroic counterpart for arriving early despite the late hour, maybe exchanging some playful banter with one another, but overall just being in each other's presence. It was undoubtedly one of his favorite things to do, he wouldn’t tell anybody that though, obviously.
Grabbing his jacket, which donned the ‘G.U.N.’ logo in big bold yellow letters in the back, and picking up his carabiner of keys, he exited his bedroom and to the front door. Rouge was on the couch reading a book, clearly wide awake because of her nocturnal nature.
Not looking up from her book, she shot Shadow a “See you later!~” as he made his way out the door. He shut the apartment door and placed his keys securely in the zipper pocket of his jacket, and began his run to his and Sonic’s usual meetup spot. He did have his motorcycle, but running was faster. The small voice in his head was telling him he needed to get to Sonic as soon as possible.
—————————————————————
Sonic stood near a tree overlooking the ocean from the cliff, tapping his foot nervously. Tonight the moon was barely visible, allowing for the visibility of even the smallest glittery shine of each and every one of the stars that peppered themselves into the sky, he could even make up the slight colored glow of a couple of planets. The ocean below slightly glistened in the natural low light as continuous waves thrashed gently and aimlessly against one another and the rocky cliff side. There was something so ominous yet so beautiful about the whole scene that made Sonic shiver, mainly from the fact that it was the ocean, though.
He looked at his watch, 1:57 a.m. It wasn’t time for Shadow to arrive yet, but Sonic just wished he would arrive sooner. He wanted to stop overthinking about what in the world he was even doing out. The insanity solidified just how badly he was wondering if what he was doing was insensitive or not. Rouge had mentioned to Sonic just the week before about how the dark hedgehog acted during Maria’s birthday, and he’d been thinking about it for the entire rest of the week.
He remembered Rouge also telling him about Shadows' fascination with space stuff, so Sonic did some research to find out when the next night the sky was clear, and on impulse.. messaged her (he would message Shadow directly but he refuses to ever use a phone, not even his communicator watch!) and hed gotten a response almost immediately that Shadow would come.
He wasn’t sure if it was okay that he picked tonight out of all nights to stargaze with his... friend. But it was too late to change his mind now, Shadow would be there any minute-
“-onic?”
Ah, speak of the devil.
Sonic was broken out of his spiraling thoughts to see the striped hedgehog standing to his right, annoyance very clear in his face. “Oh! Uh, hey, Shads.” He replied with a wave of his hand, Shadow scoffed.
“Why did you want to meet here?” He asked plainly, placing his right hand dramatically on his hip. “We could both be sleeping right now.”
“Well.. uhm…” Sonic started as he fidgeted with the drawstrings on his jacket, “The sky was really clear tonight, y’know.. no light pollution from cities…”
“Get to the point.” Shadow stated, somehow he looked even more annoyed than he was moments earlier.
“I wanna watch the stars with you.” He blurted, his peach colored face turning a shade of pinkish-red from.. embarrassment.
Shadows' face briefly morphed into one of surprise, but softened a bit almost immediately. It was too dark outside to tell and it didn’t help that his face was a darker tan, but Sonic could slightly make out a hint of red on Shadows cheeks.
The darker hedgehog cleared his throat, “Did you mean stargazing?” His face then contorted from one of soft surprise to discomfort and unease as he spoke and his face seemed to turn an even darker red, not that Sonic could see it, though.
“Yeah! Yeah, that’s what I meant..” he wanted to dig a hole and bury himself right then and there from how awkward he felt. He was usually so confident and bubbly around everybody else, so it was difficult for him to pinpoint why he was like this with Shadow so often.
There was a heavy silence that stretched on for an eternity between the two hedgehogs, though it only lasted a few seconds. The first one to make a move was Shadow, “I’m leaving.” He said without warning as he turned around and started to walk in the one direction Sonic didn’t want him to go. Back the way he came.
“Wait!” He reached out to grab his friend's wrist, stumbling forward. Sonic caught himself and steadied his footing as he tugged on Shadows wrist, making the dark hedgehog face him.
Sonic wasn’t expecting for him to look so.. distressed. Shadows eyes were wider now with something the blue hedgehog could only describe as fear, though it was hard to tell from the subtly. Shadow’s lips pressed into a thin line as his eyes darted around briefly to look at anything besides the emerald green eyes of his companion before looking down at his feet.
”Just, stay… please.” Sonic pleaded. He felt weird for begging, but it was all he could do to hopefully get the other hedgehog to stop running.
Shadow was no longer tugging against the grip that was being held on his wrist, instead standing in place to hear Sonic. He still looked at his feet, afraid that if he made eye contact with anybody right now, he’d break. He loved stargazing, it was something he used to do on the regular with Maria.
”Rou-“ Sonic paused, not wanting to name drop, ”..someone told me that today was a special day for you.. that..” He wracked his brain for the right words to say, “that.. it means a lot to you…”
Shadow was no longer staring at his feet, but was now staring off into the ocean just behind Sonic's face, still not able to bring himself to make eye contact just yet.
The blue hedgehog spoke again, Shadow listened closely. “And me? Well.. I am not the best guy to talk to about emotions. So… I planned this! To uh.. make you feel better?” Sonic ended his statement with a small shrug of his shoulders, a futile attempt to save the awkwardness that hung in the air.
Shadow wanted to run, run as far away from people as possible. He was horrified of showing any emotions in front of anybody out of fear of being perceived as weak. It had already taken him a long time for him to get comfortable expressing those kinds of emotions towards Rouge, and his brain could only conjure up the worst of what could and would happen if he was open up around Sonic of all people.
But he didn’t want to leave. He needed the comfort of another, and he always found solace in Sonic’s presence. Most outside observers of the two would think Shadow hated Sonic, but that was far from the truth. Every time Sonic interacted with him, hell, even when they’re in the same room, Shadow always felt more emotionally at ease, though it didn’t always seem that way on the outside.
Shadow was always having a bad day of some kind, but whenever Sonic came into the picture, it was like an unrelenting weight had been lifted off his shoulders and his chest would begin to feel like it had grown wings and began to flutter.
He thought otherwise, but those feelings were reciprocated. (Well, besides the ‘always having a bad day’ part)
“Look, sorry. This was stupid..” Sonic said as he began to let go of Shadows wrist. He was caught off guard as his friend immediately took hold of his hand.
It was easy to see the way Sonic started blushing even harder than he was before. “What are you doing?..” he mumbled, just loud enough for Shadow to hear.
Shadow didn’t grace the blue hedgehog with a response, instead tightening his hold on his hand as he guided the two towards the edge of the cliff, making a lump of fear form in Sonic's throat at the mere thought of the ocean below.
Stopping a few feet away from the ledge of the cliff, Shadow let go of Sonic’s hand and sat on the grass. He looked up into emerald green eyes briefly before looking away again, patting the grass on his left.
“Sit.”
Sonic was broken out of the daze he felt from the brief moment just a couple of seconds earlier, ignoring how cold his hand now felt. He knelt down and sat next to Shadow, close enough where their shoulders brushed together, and since Sonic was sitting cross-legged, his right knee brushed up against the darker hedgehog's left thigh. Neither moved or shifted.
The pair sat in silence for a little while, both leaning back on their arms to look up at the sky better. Shadow loved this, he didn’t want it to end. In the back of his mind, old memories started briefly flashing, making an attempt to ruin the moment for him.
Shadow was always the type to stay reserved and calm with his emotions, but it was late and he almost felt drunk off of the bliss stargazing brought him. (though, he has never actually gotten drunk before..) So he did the one thing he hadn’t done much of until that point.
“Maria always loved looking at the stars..” Sonic's ears perked up and immediately looked into Shadows eyes, though he wasn’t doing that back. He also did not want to scare off his friend, so he remained quiet. This took much restraint, but Shadow opening up like he was about to do had never happened, so it was special.
”She… always wanted to look at the stars… from Earth.” Shadow continued, “I told her that… that I would bring her to Earth if I had the ability, I would protect her and she would point out all the constellations to me that she would read about in her books..” there was a pause. Sonic wanted to keep looking at Shadow, wanted to study his face and how his quills stood up and donned those bright red highlights, but held back his urge and looked away, though, because in the low glisten of barely-there moonlight, he could make out a soft shine of tears that threatened to swell at the bases of red eyes and to drip down dark tan cheeks.
It felt like a minute passed before anyone spoke again, Sonic started fidgeting again with the string on his jacket, distracting himself from the idea of talking, giving his friend the opportunity to speak when comfortable.
Another couple of minutes passed. Sonic couldn’t take the stillness anymore.
He didn’t talk, though. Instead he scooted his hand over, seeking that warmth he needed back from earlier. His gloved fingers found the gloved hand of his friend. There was a light flinch from the darker hedgehog at the sudden contact, but neither made an attempt to back off as Sonic took hold of Shadows hand, giving it a comforting squeeze and scooting himself ever so slightly closer.
Shadow could feel his face get redder at the contact, but he didn’t dare move away. He instead sat himself up more while bringing his knees up to his chest, leaning slightly more into Sonic's shoulder as he brought their holding hands up and unto his left knee.
“Hey..” Sonic spoke softly, just loud enough for the hedgehog sitting up against him to hear, “You don’t have to talk if you’re not comfortable. This… this is enough.”
“It’s fine.” Shadow said as he rested his head against Sonics.”I.. need someone to talk to anyways.” There was a beat, and he began to speak again.
”I guess Rouge told you, but today would be Maria’s birthday.” He paused to take a deep breath, and continued. “I always think I moved past those memories I had with her and began to ‘live in the present’.” He stated the last part with air quotes, “But then this day comes around, and…” his voice cracked and he paused, Sonic noticed and removed his hand from Shadows, reaching around and bringing the darker hedgehog closer into a sort of sideways hug. It was a risky move, yes, but Shadow actually leaned further into the embrace.
Despite trying and failing to hide it, Sonic heard a light sniffle come from Shadow. He absentmindedly began gently rubbing the darker hedgehog's shoulder as he stared off into the sky, trying to recognize any constellations, but his attention was still on his friend's words.
Shadow took a shaky breath and began to speak again, but it was easy to tell how close he was to breaking down from the overwhelming emotions that threatened to crash down like a tidal wave. “I… I think she would be in her.. sixties or seventies.. if she was still here… but..” His voice began to waver, “.. she’s not.. here…”
Shadows lower lip was now quivering as a couple tears broke free. He was still very clearly holding back, but just a thread away from sobbing uncontrollably into his rival's arms. ‘This is too much’ he thought ‘I can’t break like this, not in front of him.’
Sonic, though, felt content to cut that thread. He shifted his body slightly to face Shadow more as he pulled him further into the hug, resting Shadow's forehead on the crook of his neck.
”Just let it out. You’re safe with me.” Sonic thought he wasn’t really the best with words in these kinds of situations, but it seemed to have been what pushed Shadow over the edge as the dark hedgehog hugged his own arms tightly and began to cry.
They sat like this for a while as Shadow cried into Sonic's shoulder. There was a point where Sonic went back to gazing up at the sky, still trying to remember some of the constellations he forced himself to memorize. Clearly he did a bad job at the remembering part.
Shadows sobs started to calm down, and neither stirred from their positions even for a few minutes after they had both become completely silent, aside from an occasional sniffle.
”I’m never doing that again.”
Sonic looked down at his companion, confused. “Doing what, exactly?”
Shadow curled into himself a bit, “Being.. emotional.”
”Dude, if you’re worried about me making fun of you I won’t.” Sonic gave Shadows' shoulder a light squeeze, “If anything, I think you may be cooler for being willing to.. cry, in front of me out of all people!”
“Are you admitting to me being better than you at something, hedgehog?” Shadow joked, a light chuckle escaped from the back of his throat. “Also, I believe Rouge beat you to it with the whole crying thing.”
Sonic rolled his eyes. “Yeah yeah, whatever dude.” There was another minute of silence, but this one wasn’t awkward or sad, it was more peaceful and calming.
Shadow started to squirm, giving Sonic the signal to let go of the hug as the darker hedgehog went back to his prior position of leaning against Sonic shoulder-to-shoulder. The expression Shadow wore as he looked up at the stars and planets could only be described as child-like wonder, the puffiness in his eyes being shrouded by how his eyes also twinkled under the glittery night sky.
Sonic thought this was very endearing, and dare he say cute. It was at this thought though, that he caught himself staring and he immediately went back to looking at the sky. He also didn’t notice Shadow start to talk again.
“Those stars there, the few that connect to make a line with a sort of box at the end, that’s Ursa Major.” Shadow started to try and point out constellations to Sonic, voice still a bit hoarse from earlier. “Next to that one is Draco.” He traced the sky with his finger to try and better point out the star combinations to Sonic. It didn’t help much, but it didn’t stop the way his heart fluttered at the gesture.
As Shadow begins naming off a few more constellations, Sonic starts nodding off into sleep (he downed an energy drink before coming, it’s clearly coming back to bite him in the rear now). Shadow paused, noticing his companion starting to doze off.
“You’re falling asleep, faker.”
“No I'm not..” Sonic’s body betrayed him as he involuntarily let out a long and dramatic yawn and he slumped further into his rival's side.
The dark hedgehog let out a sigh. “Come here.” He reached his hand around and took hold of Sonic’s shoulders, the blue hedgehog not doing much to stop it, probably because he was quickly slipping into a state of sleep. Shadow stretched his legs out, lowering his knees from his face as he lowered Sonic’s head onto his lap, wary to not get poked by any blue quills despite how relaxed they already were.
Sonic was clearly very close to falling asleep now as he nuzzled into Shadows jacket. He let out a soft gasp as his face turned a dark red at the contact of Sonic also bringing his right hand up to rest on the lowest part of the dark hedgehog's jacket where it met his hip.
Shadow had dramatically lifted his arms above his head as he stared wide eyed at the now sleeping hedgehog that was using his legs as a pillow. Those theatrics were quickly forgotten, though, as his face relaxed and he let his right arm fall to his side, and he gently cupped Sonic's face with his other hand, brushing his cheek softly with his thumb. Sonic looked so peaceful as his chest rose and fell gently while he slept.
The sight didn’t do anything to help the deep red that still burned onto the dark hedgehog's face.
“Stupid hedgehog..” he whispered. Shadow had no real reason that he could name, and it was inconvenient for the angle he was at, but he lowered his head, planting a soft kiss onto the blue hedgehog's forehead right in between his ears. He lifted his head from Sonic’s face as he looked up into the sky again.
“Thank you, Sonic.”