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When Benji later found out what the reason for all the mess was, he burst out into unbelieving laughter. That little moment, really? It was nothing, a run-of-the-mill gun to his head. He hadn’t been under threat for more than twenty seconds, nineteen of those he wasn’t even afraid. All he got from the experience was the somewhat dark thought that low goons should really invest in better fake guns to press against innocent bystanders’ heads. And Ethan hauling him up from the damp street, patting his clothes haphazardly, his eyes just a little too large, leaning a little too close. That he got too, off course. But that he didn’t let himself enjoy back then. No, Benji just filed it away under ‘things Ethan did to everyone, because he just cares so much’. Ha, if only he knew.
But anyway, the story for Benji actually started a couple of hours later, when Luther, Ethan and him finally stumbled into the safehouse and Benji immediately crashed on the most decent bed. He was exhausted as their hunt had let them to skip at least two nights of decent sleep and forcing them to take turns napping on the short shady flight they took together with the mark. Or at least that is what Benji tells himself later, because he really should have noticed how taut Ethan was, how stiff his shoulders and balled his fists. How his eyes wouldn’t leave Benji even when the Brit tugged of his shoes and threw the blanket over himself. And Benji really, really should have noticed that Ethan was there when he woke up, was there in the same dirty clothes and wet shoes. He blames himself sometimes that he didn’t notice, but Ethan always shushes him with a kiss when he sees his thoughts drifting back. Because yes, that’s what they did now, kissing and touching and more. But he should really go back to the story. To the morning his whole life changed (actually it was the morning before the afternoon his whole life changed, but that’s just semantics really).
“Good morning,” a voice said softly as Benji blearily tried to see again after having given his eyes a rest for the past however long it was. The faint light of the winter sun bled through the windows, but Benji’s pupils were not properly online yet, so he had to squint anyway. A black figure in front of the window moved and Benji’s heart jumped in his throat.
“No, no, Benji, it’s me, it’s me,” the voice said and Benji recognized Ethan’s warm timbre. He sagged back into the pillows and sighed. Well, at least he was properly awake now. As he shuffled out of bed he cringed at the clothes sticking to his body and he made a beeline for the bathroom. He praised the lucky stars it was empty and went to shut the door, but found the doorway blocked by a certain person. Ethan was looking at him like it was totally normal to follow a guy to the bathroom and for a moment Benji just stared at him. Despite his earlier statement, he really wasn’t awake enough for this.
“Can I, you know, do stuff?” he said as he gestured somewhat towards the shower. He saw Ethan blink once, twice and then his relaxed stance disappeared as he straightened himself away from the doorpost.
“Oh, yeah sorry,” he said and as he turned away Benji swore he saw a faint rosiness appear on his cheeks. Benji quickly threw some water in his face, the cold liquid refreshening his brain and waving away any notions of somewhat even resembling a blush on Ethan’s cheeks. Off course not, who was he kidding.
After the best shower of his life (that was not really true since that title went to the time with the cesspool in Spain (don’t ask) but let him have his superlatives once in a while) he walked out of the bathroom and almost into Ethan. They both shied away from the possible crash site and Benji grinned.
“That eager to use the little warm water this boiler carries?” Benji chuckled, his mood lifted by the relative calm this morning carries. Ethan frowned and instead of walking into the bathroom, he followed Benji into the living room. Luther was typing leisurely away on his laptop at the table, a steaming cup in front of him.
“Is there some more of what you’re having?” Benji said in lieu of greeting. Luther didn’t lift his eyes from the screen but nodded towards the small kitchen. Benji spotted the full pot of tea and happily skipped towards it.
“Ethan. Go and take a shower,” he heard Luther say as he fills up a generous cup of tea. As Benji took a sip and leant back against the counter, he gave Ethan for the first time a quick once over. Ethan was still wearing the same clothes as yesterday. A tear at his knee stuck to a gnarly graze, his left pipe was browned from dried mud and his jacket missed a sleeve.
“You were awake before me and didn’t steal the warm water? How very generous of you,” Benji said as he sent Ethan a quick smile. Ethan smiled back, his eyes crinkling slightly at the corners. If only Benji could smoothen out those crinkles with his lips- no, not getting there. The mission, that what was important.
“Have you learned anything from the cams?” Benji asked Luther as he stepped towards the table. Luther hummed and turned the laptop towards him. As Benji leaned towards the screen he saw Ethan grabbing his bag and entering the bathroom, before the telltale sounds of water attacking the shower floor drifted over towards them.
Benji and Luther discussed the footage from the night before, pinpointing the moment their actual target switched with the red hearing. They had grossly underestimated their target, partially through bad intel, but Benji should have known something was wrong when the “target” looked over his shoulder a few times too many.
“I found some sightings near this shop, apparently our mark loves to fish.” Luther said.
“Hmm, it’s not as great as the club, but we’ll have to do with it. Have you set up the facial scans or do we have to do that manually?” Benji asked as he studied the footage. It was from an old police camera on the other side of the road of a small shop, the windows filled with fishing rods and other probably fancy bits and pieces (Benji had never been really much of a fisherman).
“We have to install it manually. I already prepared the program,” Luther said, but Benji didn’t answer, already typing busily on the laptop.
“It has a firewall, but we can just do it from here,” he frowned as he filled in the needed requests. When he got a negative he actually grabbed a chair and properly sat down in front of the laptop. This coding language was an ancient one and it had been a while since he used it, but after a few more minutes of clanking pots and pans around in his brain, he eventually built some decent program to break the firewall. Not his best work, but it’d do.
“You could have done that too, why did you want to go there in person?” Benji asked, his eyebrows raised. He sipped from his tea and grimaced as it was only lukewarm.
“The firewall was stronger than that, you just lucked your way through it,” Luther said calmly but Benji huffed,
“It really didn’t look like it and you didn’t stop me while I tried, so it wasn’t a mouse trap either,” he parried, and Luther glowered at him. He sent a sweet smile in return.
“You are just preying on some fancy fishing equipment, aren’t you?” Benji asked, his smile growing wicked. Luther opened his mouth to give a witty response, but another voice filled the silence.
“Luther just doesn’t want to admit he can’t code in Haskell,” Ethan said and Benji’s grin spread even further.
“Nooo, really?” Benji mocked Luther as he sipped his tea in incredible satisfaction. He flicked his eyes to Ethan to share the enjoyment of this grand discovery and promptly choked on his tea.
Ethan was still towelling his hair, another towel tied around his middle, nearly slipping off his very grabbable waist. Small rivulets of water slithered over his taut muscles, gathering on the ridge of his slightly sagged tits before tipping over the edge, fleeing from his nipples like they personally offended him. Benji was envious of every drop yet didn’t understand their flight. Why would you want to run away from those pink buds instead of caressing them and-
Benji got rudely pulled out of his musings by Luther thumping him on the back a little too hard. He sent a furious scowl, but the older man just smirked. He guessed the payback was earned and gave up the fight begrudgingly, turning back to Ethan, who had (sadly) thrown on a T-shirt. Benji frowned when Ethan swayed a bit on the spot, but when the man sent him a soft smile and straightened up, he let it slide.
“So, we wait?” Ethan asked easily, peering over Luther’s shoulder at the laptop, even though Benji was very sure Ethan didn’t know how to code Haskell either. Benji sighed and resolutely pressed the enter-button, sending their code towards the shitty security camera.
“Yep; now we wait,” he said and leaned back into his chair.
So, they waited. Luther worked on his crochet project on the couch, his feet planted on the coffee table. Benji was tinkering with some stubborn coding project at the table, half an eye on Luther’s laptop, in case the software wouldn’t do its proper job. Ethan was weird. Normally he would be outside, doing a work-out or checking their supplies twenty times, but now he was reading, curled around himself on one of the easy chairs in the living room of the safe house. Benji couldn’t see what exactly he was reading, but it was a paperback and looked cheap, so probably nothing really fancy yet delightfully enjoyable. Ethan sat right in Benji’s point of view and Benji couldn’t help but throw a look to him once in a while. That’s why he was the first to jump upright when Ethan’s head suddenly dropped to his chest, the book clattered on the ground and Ethan slowly started to lose the fight against gravity. Benji was at him in a second and caught Ethan before he could fully topple over.
As soon as he grabbed Ethan’s shoulders, the man’s eyes flew open, and he went completely rigid. A pained, guttural choking noise left his mouth as he frantically looked around him, eyes hazy. His breathing quickened as he shook off Benji’s hands and pressed himself in the back of the chair, his eyes still searching.
“Ethan, Ethan, it’s me, it’s Benji,” Benji said softly, taking a bit of distance and showing him his palms. As soon as he started talking, Ethan’s eyes zeroed in on him and his shoulders sagged. He took a few shuttering breathes before shaking his head once and then forcibly relaxed his faintly trembling limbs.
“Yes? Did we get a hit?” he asked, calmly like the past minute hadn’t happened. Benji squinted at him, but Ethan raised his chin a bit, so Benji sighed.
“No, not ye- “At that moment the Jaws-theme blared through the room and Benji chuckled.
“Apparently, yes we have,” Benji smiled, and Ethan gave a hesitant one in return. Benji and Ethan joined Luther, who was shutting off the alarm.
“Really?” he asked Benji with a slight glare and Benji shrugged.
“Thought it was fitting since our guy’s a fisherman and all,” Benji said, and Luther sighed softly, but a small smile played along his mouth all the same.
“Those aren’t fishing supplies,” Ethan said softly as he zoomed in on the package their target was carrying. At first glance it looked like a simple cardboard box, but Benji quickly recognized the characteristic folds, fake fainted logo and crisp corners of a typical drugs package. Really, Benji thought for the second time this mission, these goons should invest in some better or at least more unique equipment.
“But we aren’t tailing this guy because of drugs?” Benji asked, confused. Luther hummed and shrugged on his coat.
“Drugs or no drugs, that fishing store is the perfect location to set a trap,” he said and Benji cocked his head before he shrugged and grabbed his jacket too.
“You coming, Ethan?” Luther asked as he zipped up his coat. Ethan, still sitting at the table, startled and shook his head, before he stood up too.
“You okay?” Benji asked when he saw Ethan seek support at the chair, his knuckles white as he grabbed on tightly. Ethan closed his eyes and took a deep breath, before he let go of the chair and confidently stepped towards Benji, even giving him one of those ever-charming smiles he used to throw around freely when on a mission. Benji frowned at him.
“Are you really fine, Ethan? If you are tired or sick Luther and I can handle this,” he asked softly, but Ethan shook his head, a little too fervently, his eyes a little too big.
“No, no, I’m fine. I just stood up too quickly, nothing to worry about,” Ethan said, clasped him on the shoulder and followed Luther outside. A stone dropped on Benji’s stomach as he felt the ghost of Ethan’s hand on his shoulder. He hadn’t been supporting Benji with it, he had been seeking support himself and Benji (finally) started to worry. But Ethan had already left the safehouse, so Benji reluctantly followed him, vowing to keep an eye out on the older man.
The plan was supposed to be very simple: Benji and Ethan would wait for their mark to leave the shop before overpowering the personnel and taking their place. Then Ethan would swap places with the shopkeeper via mask, call their mark and make him walk right back into their trap. Luther would be keeping close attention on the surroundings of the store from the van. Easy peasy lemon squeezy.
Benji begroaned their overconfidence loudly when Ethan sent a charming smile at the shopkeeper and the man immediately punched him squarely in the face. Ethan blinked and stumbled, way more than such a punch would normally entail, before he got grabbed by the collar and flung into one of the racks next to the counter. The whole thing clattered on the floor with a deafening crash as the shopkeeper nimbly jumped over the counter and spat on Ethan, who was staring at him from on top of the pile of bait and metal, his gaze dazed.
“That will teach you to never- “the goon couldn’t even finish his threat because Benji firmly pressed his taser into the guy’s back, before he shot a tranquilizing dart into his neck for good measure.
“What was that, Ethan? Forgot how to dodge a fist coming at you?” Benji said, his voice high on adrenaline as he helped Ethan upright. Ethan was looking a bit brighter out of his eyes by now, but he still looked not totally fine either. Benji quickly checked for head trauma and when he saw no bumps or cuts he lightly skimmed his fingers over Ethan’s scalp, stepping a bit closer. Ethan closed his eyes and swayed a bit into Benji as Benji’s quick fingers buried itself in Ethan’s fluffy locks. Benji stiffened and quickly finished his search, before pulling his hands back. Ethan inhaled sharply as he did so and struggled to open his eyes again.
“Looks like a mild concussion, but I don’t see nor feel any trauma, did you hit your head on your way down?” he asked as he led Ethan to the chair behind the counter. Ethan shook his head in a negative. His movements were sluggish and uncoordinated, but he didn’t fight Benji and crashed unto the chair. Suddenly, their earpieces loudly fizzled into life.
“There is someone escaping from the back of the store,” Luther’s hurried voice sounded and Benji jumped upright, eyes roaming over the wall until he found an ‘employers only’-sign on a door nearby. He stepped towards it, but an iron grip around his wrist kept him back.
“Ethan? What are you- “Benji shrieked.
“No, Benji, I’m coming with you, “Ethan said, his eyes wide and breathing hurried. He squeezed Benji’s arm so hard it hurt.
“He is almost outside,” Luther said and Benji tried to pull his arm back, but all it did was make Ethan stand from the chair. Benji’s eyes grew wide and he forgot all about the other man in the back of store as Ethan’s eyes rolled back into their sockets and his legs gave out under him.
“And he is gone; what the hell is going on there?” Luther cursed as Benji eased Ethan to the ground, laying his head into his own lap and uncurling Ethan’s fingers from his arm.
“Ethan just collapsed out of nowhere. It looks like he has a concussion, but I’m not even sure he hit his head earlier,” Benji said hurriedly as he grabbed a bottle of water from the minifridge and gently put it against Ethan’s forehead.
“As long as he is not dying, you need to get out of there. And even if he is dying you better get out of there now, it looks like that guy you let escape called some friends,” Luther said as Ethan’s eyes fluttered open.
“Hey, Ethan, it’s Benji. Are you there?” Benji said as Ethan’s eyes focused in on him.
“Benji?” Ethan croaked out and Benji smiled.
“ETA two minutes, get out now!” Luther said and Benji quickly helped Ethan in an upright position before he stood up fully himself. He joisted Ethan upright, slung his arm over his shoulder and started walking towards the door. After a few steps however, Ethan suddenly lurched forwards and promptly threw up the meagre insides of his stomach on the floor. His legs buckled and Benji nearly fell down as well, but he just about caught Ethan around his middle and managed to step away from the puddle of sick on the ground before his sank to his knees. Ethan slumped against him; his forehead shiny from sweat as he breathed shallowly.
“Don’t go out, don’t go out, they have surrounded the shop, I am calling back up,” Luther said and Benji cursed softly. That curse became a lot louder when suddenly the air exploded in sounds and glass shattered everywhere as bullets destroyed the shop front. Benji immediately pulled Ethan into one of the small aisles and when the first burst of gunfire stopped, risked a look towards the front of the shop. When he found what he was searching for, he made himself ready to cross the aisle, but again he was stopped by a hand on his arm.
“No, Benji, don’t,” Ethan rasped, his voice rough and feeble. Benji threw an angry glare at him and shook of his hand, which he managed remarkably easy.
“If you hadn’t stopped me that first time we wouldn’t be in this mess, Ethan,” he whisper-shouted and without waiting for an answer he crawled towards the other side of the store. As soon as he had reached the control panel for the canopy, he quickly stood up to activate it, but just as quickly dropped down as bullets rang again, one whizzing only a few inches over his head.
“What about that backup, Luther?!” he yelled as the ruckus of bullets slowly changed into a quieter raffling, the more the canopy covered the window front of the store.
“Twenty minutes! But the attackers aren’t with much and won’t be able to storm the building so just hang in there.” Luther said and Benji let out a relieved sigh.
The relief lasted just a second as Benji heard muffled sounds coming from the back of the store. Immediately he jumped up and ran towards the ‘employers only’-door, quickly turning the lock and pushing a heavy cupboard in front of it. Then he shoved the counter, another cupboard, and a chair in front of that too and prayed it would be enough.
Benji quietly shuffled back towards Ethan, the white light from the overhead lights casting stark shadows on the sticky floors. As he turned into the aisle he had left Ethan at, he froze. Ethan sat against one of the shelves, his knees in front of his face and his arms curled around them. His shoulders shuddered minutely as faint, wet breaths drifted towards Benji.
“Ethan?” Benji said softly as he crouched in front of the trembling man.
“Ethan,” he repeated as he laid a hand on Ethan’s shoulder. Ethan startled a bit into the shelves behind him, but uncurled himself quickly after. He tried to wipe the tears from his face with his sleeves, but his hands trembled too much so he just let them fall into his lap. He let his head fall forwards, tears still leaking out of his eyes and dropping into his lap. Benji sucked in a breath. He had never seen Ethan cry. That just wasn’t the way his emotions showed themselves. Well, he had seen him cry once, but that was when he was-
“Oh Ethan,” Benji whispered softly as he curled his hand around Ethan’s neck and pulled him against his chest.
“You didn’t sleep at all last night, did you,” Benji states and the fact Ethan didn’t deny it was proof enough for him.
“But why?” Benji asked and when Ethan again didn’t answer, he gently pulled back a bit to look him in the eyes. His heart got squeezed because of how wet they were and he instinctively wiped away one of the tears with his thumb, cupping his cheek while he did so. Ethan closed his eyes and nuzzled into the touch, his breathing relaxing slightly. Benji smiled softly, even though Ethan didn’t see, and slowly carded his other hand into Ethan’s hair, scratching his scalp gently. Ethan went completely boneless in his arms as he relaxed fully against Benji.
“Had to protect you,” he eventually said, his voice small. Benji frowned.
“Protect me? From what?” he asked, his voice high from confusion.
“Never mind, it’s stupid,” Ethan said, burying himself a little further into Benji.
“No, Ethan, anything that prevents you from sleeping until you literally fall over is important to me,” Benji huffed as he tried to sound stern. It came out mostly very worried for his friend. Ethan sighed.
“Yesterday, at the canal, I couldn’t reach you. Someone held a gun against your head and I wasn’t there,” Ethan spat, his voice rising his intensity as he found energy in his desperation.
“What?! The gun wasn’t even real,” Benji laughed, a little confused now.
“But it could have been,” Ethan said, his voice hitching and Benji’s heart fell.
“Yeah, it could have been. But that’s part of the job, I know that it is dangerous and I still follow you out there. In fact, keeping watch over me while you are supposed to be sleeping got us into even more danger in the end,” Benji said and Ethan squirmed a bit against him.
“I know, but every time I closed my eyes I feared opening them would show a world without you,” he sighed dejectedly and Benji’s eyebrows shot up.
“Didn’t know you would become a romantic when tired,” he quipped and Ethan huffed against him, the closest thing to a laugh in a long while.
“I can be romantic when perfectly rested,” Ethan mumbled and Benji chuckled.
“Yeah right, like all of the times you completely forgot valentine’s day until Julia just asked me to subtly remind you of it?” Benji teased and Ethan frowned.
“She did?”
“Oh totally,” Benji laughed and Ethan groaned.
“Valentine’s day is just a way for companies to get money from you, shut up.”
“Or the time you went to the cinema with your date and choose Schindler’s List.” Ethan groaned again, but his attempt at it was interrupted by a huge yawn.
“Or that time- “Benji started again, but Ethan awkwardly extracted himself from where he had been tucked into Benji, took his face into two trembling hands and clumsily kissed him. Benji froze. Ethan’s lips were soft and warm against his own. He exhaled softly as he relaxed into the kiss and closed his eyes. The slight saltiness from Ethan tears stung on his tongue as he gently pulled back, his eyes big.
“Shush, I’m too tired to keep finding a clever response,” Ethan said but his cheeks were definitely red from more than crying alone. Benji smiled and kissed him again, quick and sweet, and he could feel their connection thrumming through his veins as he did so. Benji had expected his world to shift at the realisation his best friend liked him as more than a friend, but it felt like it had never been different at all. Ethan buried himself back into Benji’s arms and started nuzzling his neck, painting feather light kisses on the hot skin, but he got interrupted by another yawn ripping his lips apart.
“Listen, please know I am very happy to continue this, but I’d prefer to do that when you are in your right mind. Back up is coming in a few minutes, we can’t do nothing more in here than wait, so just relax, Ethan,” Benji softly murmured. Ethan protested faintly, but Benji only pulled him even closer and started softly carding through his hair again.
“I’ll be here when you open your eyes again, I promise,” Benji whispered and Ethan closed his eyes before he, only a few seconds later, finally fell asleep.
Ethan had been totally dead to the world when the back up finally rescued them from the ruined fishing/drug shop. Benji hadn’t wanted to wake him up and just hoisted him into the air before carrying him outside, ignoring the raised eyebrows from the other agents. Luther, however, smiled brightly when Benji arrived back at the van. He clapped Benji on his shoulder and opened the door for them.
“I see you have finally knocked some sense back into the guy?” Luther said and when Benji quickly shushed him, Luther just laughed.
“You can fire a canon next to him in this state and he won’t stir a bit,” he said as Benji tried to extract himself from the older man’s dead-to-the-world grasp. But, even when far away in the land of dreams, Ethan was still as stubborn as ever and wouldn’t budge, until finally Benji just plopped down on the seat next to Luther, Ethan firmly on his lap and his quiet snores filling his ears.
And Luther was right, it took eight more hours for Ethan to finally stir again, during which Benji had taken a nap too (not that he could do anything else, with Ethan being curled around him like a koala bear and all).
“Hello there, sunshine,” Benji said softly as Ethan groaned and shifted a bit, burying himself into even more of the covers he had stolen from Benji during his sleep.
“Shh, ‘m tryin to sleep,” Ethan mumbled as he curled a little more towards Benji.
“Go ahead then, sleeping beauty,” Benji grinned as Ethan groaned again.
“Wrong, you’re beauty, you’re much more pretty,” Ethan mumbled as his breathing deepened once again, before he was lost to the world only a second later. Benji smiled softly, regained control over a bit of the covers and slowly drifted off to sleep himself.
Ethan later admitted he didn’t remember him waking up in between the fourteen hours he slept that night. But he did agree with himself about the sleeping beauty bit, which made Benji blush every time Ethan mentioned it. He also finally admitted his feelings a few days later, when he was well rested and yet somehow still very much into kissing Benji. They also found their mark a few days later and easily brought him in, now that their full team was well rested and working with a vengeance on top of that.
And from that moment on, whenever Benji stumbled into one shitty safehouse bunk or the other, he quickly found himself in the tight embrace of Ethan, who he now could call his boyfriend.
Benji had never slept better, but, more importantly, Ethan had too.