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It's late afternoon, grey light slanting through the closely drawn curtains. Everybody's out who wants to be out, sprawled in the quad or prowling the town streets, but Kate's still paranoid enough to check the locks over and over again.
She's even tossed a blanket over Alice's cage, stupid as that feels. One pair of eyes is enough right now, one body standing too close and somehow too far away, all at once.
"Don't be scared," Max says, watching Kate wedge a chair under the door handle.
"I'm not." Kate swallows and takes a deep breath, trying to harden her voice into something like iron. "Are you?"
"Maybe." Max's lips quirk up into a smile when Kate looks her way, the freckles glinting on her cheeks. She looks beautiful like this, the way she always looks beautiful--and that's still an unsettling thought, isn't it, that Kate can call a girl beautiful and not burst into flames because of it.
It's tempting to smirk back, but instead she makes her voice mean, the way her aunt used to when she was pissed. "What's so funny, hmm?"
"Nothing." Max makes a show of looking away, gazing back out the window. Deliberately insolent, and it makes Kate's hackles rise, even as heat stirs in her belly. Oh mercy, they're really doing this, aren't they?
She'd thought the idea ridiculous when Max had first brought it up. When they'd started kissing, trying to kiss, because every time Max put a hand on her or pushed too close, Kate would feel engulfed by a flood of sin, with hands, light, laughter, and the camera lens all screaming at her, causing her to jerk away as if burned.
"Maybe you could take control," Max had suggested, like it was the simplest thing in the world. "Order me around, put me where you need me to go."
Kate hadn't known what to say for a moment, left floundering. "We can't," she'd said. "What if I mess it up? What if I hurt you?"
But Max just smiled with that look in her eyes, the one that makes her seem a thousand years old. "I'm not scared of a little pain."
Pain. Kate's not sure if she wants to bring pain, if she's ready for something like that. But control...it feels tempting and impossible, all at once. Especially with someone like Max, someone like Max, with the power crackling through her hands and the steel in her spine.
But here she is, standing in the center of the room like a mannequin, waiting for orders. Waiting for Kate's orders, an angel hanging onto Kate's every command. It's terrifying...it's thrilling. It makes Kate want, even more than she wanted Max before, something she didn't even think was possible.
"Take off your clothes." It's a simple enough order, and easy for both of them. After a heartbeat, she adds, "Slowly. Fold them and put them away."
Max obediently reaches for the hem of her hoodie, tugging it over her head and folding it neatly. She sets it on the dresser, folded with her shirt. The pale cloth of her bra glows in the low light, and Kate swallows, throat suddenly dry.
Next come shoes, socks, and pants. Max is wearing light blue panties, tufts of hair curling out from behind the fabric, and Kate presses her knees together. Her own clothes suddenly feel impossibly heavy, but taking them off now feels terrifying.
"Underwear, too," she orders. Her stomach swoops like she's falling off the building again--but she's not supposed to remember that, is she? Not the fall, not the blood, nor the angel who had raised a hand to bring her soaring back.
The angel who strips for her now, bearing pink-tipped breasts and dark-haired cunt. Her hands fall back to her sides, lips faintly parted, letting Kate look as long as she wants. “Shameless!’ A voice hisses at the back of Kate's head, but it’s drowned out by her own heartbeat.
She approaches carefully, terrified she'll trip over her own feet if she moves too quickly. Max lets Kate walk around her, lets Kate's eyes wander over her ass, breasts, the small mound between her legs. Her skin is soft to the touch when Kate runs a hand down her arm, fine as silk.
Kate comes back to stand before her, looking Max dead in the eye. Max looks back solidly, gaze full of love, of trust, that makes Kate want to grab her by the shoulders and scream. You can't trust me, don't you see? I'm a sinner, I'm a whore, I'm burnt-up trash and a fallen saint and I'll only destroy you like I destroy everything!
But by the same logic Max is also a sinner, also a whore. Max is fueled by something that could be of God or the Devil or something greater than either, yet Kate loves her regardless, still wants her regardless. So maybe it's not entirely out of the ordinary for her to want her, too.
She lets herself bend forward slightly, peering down at Max's breasts. This close, there's something incredibly disorienting about being the only clothed one in the room, the layers of fabric weighing on her like shackles or armor. Max suddenly seems so small by comparison, little more than a fragment of light.
But she smells like something made of flesh and blood, young and sweet and painfully alive. Kate's head dips even lower, until she's practically between Max's breasts, close enough to see goosebumps on Max's skin.
It occurs to her that she wants to bite. And then want becomes the soft ache of her jaw opening before her teeth sink into Max's flesh, skin folding against her mouth like biting into a warm pillow.
Max yelps in pain, and Kate lets go immediately, snapping her head back. "Sorry!" she yelps, composure forgotten. "Sorry, I..."
"It's okay!" A fresh mark gleams on Max's breast, Kate's teeth indented in fine red spots. At least she hasn't broken the skin, thank Christ. "It's okay, I don't mind. That felt--" She sucks in a breath, eyes shining. "Really good."
"It did?" Kate can't even imagine. But then again, biting down had felt “Really good,” so maybe the opposite was true as well.
"Yeah." Max hums in thought, biting her lip. "Maybe if I--I say 'vortex,' you'll know it's too much, right? How does that sound?"
"Vortex." Kate nods slowly. Fitting. "Okay, um...yeah. We can do that." She smooths a hand over her hair, undoing the ties. "Yeah." Loose hair cascades down the back of her neck, its weight soothing on her neck.
She leans forward and plants a kiss over the bite mark on Max's breast, a careful apology. Then she straightens up so she can plant a kiss on Max's lips, slow and deep. Max kisses back, but only slightly, letting Kate control the pace.
It feels good, it feels right. Like the kind of first kiss Kate was supposed to have, SHOULD have had, before the Vortex Club stole it away. She plants another kiss on Max's neck, letting her teeth graze the skin ever so slightly. Max shivers at the touch, letting out a soft sigh.
How fragile she looks right now, like a strong breeze could blow her into nothing. It makes Kate want to take care of her, to be strong like Max has always been, so strong. She brushes a hand through Max's hair, a gesture that feels almost maternal in its tenderness.
"Lie down," she orders, voice soft. "On your stomach."
Max does as she's told, her shoulder blades rippling slightly as she lowers herself face-first onto the bed. She rests her forehead against the pillow, prostrating herself as if in prayer, her breath hitching when Kate draws close.
So vulnerable, so trusting. It would be easy for Kate to leap on her like this, wrap rough hands around her throat, squeeze and break and take before Max knew what was happening. Be cruel like so many others have been cruel, ugly like so many others have been ugly.
Kate won't do that. The potential drains from her hands, leaving a faint buzz in its wake, something she might call power. Kate doesn't have much experience with power, just enough to know it doesn't belong to girls like her. But she has it now, anyway.
She kneels down beside the bed, brushing her fingers lightly over the back of Max's scalp, tracing the outline of her skull. Then down along the arch of her neck, the delicate notches of her spine, the curve of her hip bone.
The hip is where she bites down next. It feels as lovely as it did to bite Max's breast, nice to feel the flesh give between her teeth. Max jolts with a low moan, and Kate smiles as she leans back, admiring the fine new mark she's left on Max's skin.
Max's hands are trembling, fisted in the blankets. Kate frowns; it feels...wrong, somehow, to leave Max's hands to their own devices like that. She gets up and digs around in her drawer, not sure what she's looking for, until suddenly she finds it.
God forgive me, she thinks, and almost wants to cross herself, but stops at the last minute. God isn't here, any more than He was in the Vortex Club, or the dark place that came after. It's just Kate, Max, and everything they're going to do to each other, everything they're going to become.
"Hands behind your back," she orders, having come back to stand behind Max. "Wrists crossed." Max does as she's told, but slowly, gingerly, like the idea frightens her as much as it does Kate. She doesn't say vortex, though, and Kate lets out a low breath before bending down.
"Hold still," she orders, wrapping her rosary around Max's wrists. "If you break it, I'll--" she flounders for a moment, feeling stupid. "You won't break it, will you?"
"No, ma'am," Max says. Ma'am. It feels...interesting, but not quite right. Kate files that away for later as she focuses on the clink of metal beads and sleek ties beneath her fingers. It's her grandmother's rosary, a fact that makes her sick, but in a distinct, almost intellectual kind of way.
She pulls tight, giving it a brief tug. It won't break right away, although it'd probably shatter if Max put some effort into it. That's...good, right? Kate hopes (prays) that it's good.
The beads scrape against Max's flesh, causing her to let out a low moan, grinding her hips against the mattress. "Fuck," she breathes.
"Naughty." Kate lands a light slap on her ass and Max jolts again, whining prettily. "No bad words, and no getting yourself off like a bad girl, understand?"
"Understand," Max puffs, her hips trembling like she wants to grind them into the mattress again, like she wants to fight not to grind them into the mattress again. At war with herself, her body, her desires, just like Kate has always been. She never knew she could reduce someone else to that.
"Good girl," Kate praises, rubbing at the soft pink print her hand left on Max's right cheek. "You'll do as you're told, won't you?" And then the words slip out before she has a chance to choke them back, to even think about what she's suggesting. "You'll be good for Mama?"
"Yes." A slight, choked noise, as Max presses her forehead into the pillow before lifting her head again. "I'll be...I'll be good for Mama."
"That's right," Kate praises, and Max lets out another muffled noise at that. God, Kate wants to hear her make that noise over and over again, wants to shower Max with gentle words, and see how they make her squirm until the stars burn out.
But for now, there's other matters to focus on. Max looks nice enough from this angle, but Kate suddenly wants to see a bit more of her face, to see her pretty mouth open and panting. Max has tried to hide so many things from her, again and again, and Kate's tired of that.
"Turn over," she orders, and Max does as she's told. Tries to, anyway, wriggling around like a seal, squirming and grunting with the effort until Kate takes pity. She grabs Max by the shoulders and carefully helps her the rest of the way, maneuvering her onto her back.
Max blinks up at her, eyes wide and wet, beautiful, yet also the eyes of a girl who's seen too much. Suddenly, Kate doesn't want a Max who's seen too much. She wants a Max who doesn't have to see anything at all, not as long as Kate can take care of her, see for her.
Without a word, she turns away, digging back through her things until she finds an old black scarf. When she turns with it in her hands, Max's eyes widen, but she doesn't say anything. She doesn’t protest: she just lifts her head so Kate can wrap the scarf around her head and pull it tight.
"Can you see anything?" she asks. It's a heavy scarf, thick and well-made, a gift from her father--she banishes Dad from her memory as quickly as she can, doing her best to focus on Max's face. Her eyes are gone, but Kate can see every twitch in her lips, trace the ripple in her throat as she swallows.
"No, Mama," Max answers obediently.
"You're not lying to me, are you?" You've lied before, she wants to say, but those moments don't count; the secrets and the power Max has tried to hide from her don't matter here. Whatever she is, angel, demon, or God, she's entirely at Kate's command.
"I'm not lying, Mama."
"How many fingers am I holding up?"
"Three?" Max hazards. Kate nods in satisfaction; she hadn't held up any fingers at all. She takes a step back and holds still, letting the quiet press down around them like a blanket. How many times has she curled up in this quiet little room, alone with just Alice for comfort, choking on her own silent sobs?
But she's not alone, not anymore. The quiet is something she can hold in the palm of her hand, cradle it as silence grows and grows. Letting the seconds tick by until Max starts to squirm again, face flushed, ankles twitching against the blanket.
'Kate?" she asks, voice smaller than before. They both know there's no way Kate could have left the room without making some kind of noise, but the very idea that she could, could have left Max helpless and wanting until she comes back, if she ever comes back.
It feels good, that idea. It makes Kate feel strong, makes her feel hungry. For so long after, she couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, she was numb and desiccated as a dry bone, but now she feels more alive than she ever has in her life, and her body surges with life.
The mattress creaks as Kate climbs onto it, loudly kicking her shoes onto the floor, letting her skirt tickle Max's bare calves. Max shivers, mouth half-open, letting Kate glimpse down her vulnerable pink throat. Her thighs press together almost instinctively, as if she's trying to hide herself.
But she doesn't flinch when Kate straddles her, hands braced on either side of Max's head. When Kate kisses her, firm yet gentle, Max opens up to let her in, her mouth damp and welcoming around Kate's tongue. A whole new world for Kate to explore, offered up without an ounce of hesitation.
She breaks away from Max's lips only to plant another kiss on her collarbone, with just a hint of teeth. Then another on Max's arm, her shoulder, her breast again, making to move too quickly and randomly for Max to tell where she's going next.
"Ahh--" Max jolts and shudders, breasts heaving. Kate can hear the rosary shifting beneath her, but no tearing sound, no beads coming loose, still trying to hold still for Kate like a good girl. Kate's good, beautiful girl.
"That's it," Kate praises. She reaches out to grab Max's breasts, kneading and tugging like her mom taught her to do with dough. "You need it so bad, don't you?"
“Holy fuck, she needs it so bad–”
"Yes, Mama," Max whispers, cutting through the buzz at the back of Kate's head, the chatter that's always stalking at her heels. "I do, please!"
"Needy little thing." She pushes herself a little farther off the bed, letting her tongue drag over Max's breasts. Max sobs and arches up into her mouth, nipple nudging at Kate's lips like an invitation. An invitation she wants very much to take, so she wraps her lips around Max's nipple and sucks, hard as she can.
"Fu--" Max cuts herself off with jaws snapping shut, trying so hard to do as she's told. Kate hums in pride as she keeps on sucking, reaching up to toy with Max's other breast, squeezing and rolling Max's free nipple between her fingers.
"Please." Max's hips rub frantically against her, her voice high-pitched and desperate. "Please, Kate--Mama--I need..."
"Mmm?" Kate pulls off of Max's breast with a wet pop, licking her lips appreciatively. "What do you need, sweetheart?"
"Need you to..." Max's thighs rub together anxiously. "Touch me. Please."
"Touch you?" Kate teases. "I am touching you, see?" She tugs at Max's belly; what little there is of it, anyway. She's too thin; Kate will have to do something to fix that. "I've been touching you everywhere."
"Not everywhere, not..." Max swallows hard, throat rippling. "Need you to touch my, my..."
"Say it," Kate orders. Saying the word herself still feels terrifying, but it's okay, because she can make Max say it for her.
"My pussy," Max groans. "Won't you touch my pussy, please, Mama?"
"Well, since you asked so nicely." And god, she wants to! Max's breasts have only left her mouth watering for something more. Kate shuffles farther down the bed, until her legs are curled awkwardly underneath her, feet hanging off the end of the mattress. It feels silly, and she's suddenly very grateful that Max can't see her.
Max's thighs are still pressed together, rubbing desperately against each other. Kate lets out a dramatic sigh, tapping Max lightly on the right thigh. "Come on, Maxie. I can't touch you if you don't let me see, can I?"
With a low hiss, Max's legs unfold, opening her up like the petals of a flower. Kate leans closer, studying the darkly curling hair over her mound--studying the gleam of her pussy, pink and bright as a pearl just tugged from the ocean.
"Look at you." Hardly able to believe what she's doing (thanking God that she washed her hands earlier) Kate reaches out, spreading the lips of Max's pussy. It gleams slickly beneath her touch, dampness tickling her fingers like a kiss.
"So wet," Kate breathes, voice soft with genuine wonder.
“So fucking wet, look at her.”
"You need it so bad, don't you?" Kate closes her eyes and opens them again, trying to drown out the flashing lights scorched behind her retinas, the click of the camera shutters.
“She needs it so bad, doesn't she?” Laughter, always the laughter. “ Such a fucking slut!”
"So beautiful." Kate leans down and plants a kiss on Max's pussy, shivering at how sweet she tastes. "So good for me."
Her tongue curves out gently, teasing Max's folds, tapping lightly at the tight little nub of her clit. Max squirms and grinds down, rubbing against Kate's face--but she doesn't grab Kate by the hair and pull her closer, doesn't bark at her for getting it wrong, doesn't call her a “ fucking whore!” when she finally gets it right.
No, she lets Kate take her time, even though Kate can taste the impatience shuddering through her every pore. She pants and whines as Kate's tongue shoves deeper and deeper, knees trembling on either side of Kate's head, the hairs on her mound seeming to quiver as they scrape against Kate's nose.
Kate sucks down hard on her clit and Max sobs, bucking down against her face. She whines like something split raw, new and open, like Kate's never heard her before, like she's never really been for Kate before. It's one of the most beautiful things she's ever heard, lovelier than birdsong, church bells, or angels singing her off a rooftop's edge.
"Gonna cum," Max pants. "Gonna cum, Mama, I can't--" She breaks off into a wail, but only because Kate's head has snapped back up, Max's fluids glittering on her lips. Max's left humping the air, frantic, still unfilled.
"Please," she begs, tears rolling out from beneath her blindfold. "Please, Mama, please, I've been a good girl. I've been good, I--"
"I know," Kate says gently. She leans back to kiss the tears off Max's face, savoring the salty tang against her tongue. "But you're not in charge here, remember? And there's--" An idea leaps behind her eyes, blasphemous and beautiful in equal measure, "there's something I need to do first."
She climbs off the bed, heart hammering in her chest. Plastic gleams on her desk, the crucifix's surface cool to her touch. It's been sitting for how many days now, hovering at the corner of her eye. Kate's fingers shake as she grabs some wet wipes to clean and dry it off carefully--always good to be safe, right?
Oh, God, she doesn't know what she's doing. Except she does, she knows she's committing the most grievous sins, she's going to Hell. Only that can't be right, she's already been to Hell, and Hell is flashing lights and cutting eyes and hands that won't stop touching, Hell is teachers and classmates, and a video bleeding all over the internet.
The crucifix she carries back to the bed, where Max is waiting, still flush-faced and whimpering. She twitches as Kate climbs back onto the bed, her breasts heaving, her nipples and her cunt both shining wetly. She's never looked more like an angel than she does now.
"I'm going to put this inside you," Kate says carefully. She lays the crucifix on Max's chest, letting Max feel it for herself. The crucifix's edges are rounded, and it isn't very big, but it's still a crucifix, a desecration on so many levels. "Would you like that, sweetheart?"
"Yes." Max doesn't hesitate, not for a second. "Yes, Mama, please!"
"Okay." Kate's heart is beating so hard it hurts. "Okay, baby." She plucks the crucifix off Max's chest and turns it over in her hand, the crossways bar nudging against her palm. "Deep breaths, now." She takes a deep breath, then another, to steady herself as much as Max. "Relax."
When the crucifix slides past her entrance, Max lets out a noise Kate's never heard before, and she thought she had listened to every noise, thought she'd heard herself make every noise. But Max keens in a way that's unmissable and perfect, her head falling back on the pillow like her eyes rolling in her skull.
"That's it." Kate feeds the crucifix in slowly, inch by inch, giving Max time to adjust. "You're being so faithful to me right now, did you know that? You're perfect." She keeps going until she reaches the shorter bar near the top of the cross, resting snuggly against the entrance of Max's cunt.
"How does that feel?" Kate whispers, half-choked by her reverence.
"Full," Max forces out, swallowing hard. "Full and...good. So good."
"Yeah?" Kate tugs the cross out slowly, gently, pushing it back in just as carefully. "You like me stuffing you like this? You like me taking care of you, taking care of my girl?" She drags it out, turning it as she does, then pushes it back in.
"Yes," Max sobs. She's grinding herself down on the cross, fucking herself on it--only that's not right, Kate's the one fucking her. Fucking her with something holy, filling her with the light, filling them both. "Yes, I love it, God, please!"
"Don't talk to God!" Kate orders, bracing her hand on Max's stomach. She can feel the vibrations running through Max's body as the crucifix slides in and out, feel the hot pulse of her need, a match for Kate's own. "Pray to Mama, sweetheart."
"Mama," Max blubbers. "Kate, I love you, Mama, I love you so much!"
"I love you, too, sweetheart." Kate leans down, planting a kiss on Max's forehead. "Do you want to cum? Are you ready to cum for me, Max?"
"Please." Drool glistens at the corner of Max's lip, shining like diamonds tripping off her tongue. "Please, Mama, please. Want to cum, need to cum, need it so bad!"
"Shhh." Kate pets her face, rubbing a thumb across her mouth. Then she reaches down and rubs that same thumb across Max's clit in hard, firm circles. "Cum for me, Max. Cum for Mama."
And Max comes with a wail, a perfect crystalline note that Kate wants to record and play back forever. She shudders around the crucifix, clutching at it like a fist, and Kate can feel the vibrations running up through her hand.
When Max finally sags in on herself, muscles slack, Kate gently tugs the crucifix out of her cunt. She bends down to plant a final kiss on Max's pussy, savoring the way she twitches, warm and frantic as a beating heart.
"Come on." Kate dangles the crucifix in front of Max's mouth. "Give it a kiss. Show me how much you believe." Max lifts her head, straining to give the crucifix a sloppy, perfect kiss. Kate wipes it off and sets it gently aside, feeling more reverent than she has in months.
Hands finally empty, she's keenly aware of the heat still trapped in her own belly, battering at her ribs. Kate swallows, then very carefully reaches for the waistband of her skirt, pushing it down her hips. She steps out of it gingerly, rolling her panties down her legs and dropping them off one foot.
Being exposed like this is still terrifying. But Max can't see her, can't hurt her, and when she's like that, it's easier for Kate's body to believe that Max won't hurt her, not even when Kate climbs onto the bed and straddles her, letting her own wet vulnerability brush Max's mouth.
"Mama's taken such good care of you," she says. "Are you ready to take care of Mama?" Max nods eagerly, so desperate to please that Kate can't help smiling as she lowers herself down.
She yelps as Max's tongue stabs up into her love tunnel, a hot, piercing movement that sends lightning through Kate's insides. Growling, she grinds down frantically, doing her best to make sure she doesn't accidentally block Max's airway while Max's mouth works against her like a starving woman's.
"Oh!" Kate moans, squeezing her eyes shut. "Oh, G--" No, no God, remember? "Oh, Max. So perfect for me, God, my precious, perfect girl! My girl, mine--"
She cums with a gasp, a punch of pleasure reverberating straight through her insides. It's better than anything she's ever felt in her life, better than anything they ever made her feel, like she's rising up out of the dirt instead of falling into it. Like she's an angel, too, a Devil, a God, and something greater.
It takes an effort to drag herself off Max's face, her jelly legs stumbling when they hit the floor, but Kate manages it. She stumbles over to the table, grabbing wet wipes for both of them, bending down to snatch the half-empty water bottle that's fallen under her desk.
As she hurries back to the bed, she impulsively snatches the blanket off Alice's cage. Her rabbit blinks out at them, big dark eyes large and trusting, her nose twitching like she's smelling something nice in the air. Kate makes a mental note to take her out in the sunshine later on, maybe bring Max along. Out in the open together, all of them, trusting and free.
She climbs onto the bed, gently wiping the mess off of Max's face and thighs before grabbing fresh wipes to clean herself off. Max drinks gratefully when Kate presses the bottle to her lips, throat rippling prettily as she swallows.
"Hands," she whispers finally, voice raw and stretched out. "Eyes?"
"Right, sorry." Kate sets the bottle aside and hurriedly tugs the scarf off Max's eyes. Max blinks up at her, eyes soft with wonder, like Kate's the most beautiful thing she's ever seen.
"Hi," she whispers.
"Hi." Kate smiles, shoulders uncoiling with a tension she didn't know she was carrying. She reaches underneath Max to undo the rosary, freeing her wrists and carefully rubbing life into them. Bruises stand out on Max's skin, and Kate swallows, struck with a sudden blade of guilt.
"Hey, it's okay." Max smiles at her, steady and trusting. "I wanted it, what you did." She frowns, a shadow crossing behind her eyes. "You--you wanted it, too, right?"
"Yeah, I--yeah." Kate presses her lips to the bruises, Max's skin warm beneath her tongue. "I did, yeah. It was scary, but not… not the bad kind of scary. You know that, the difference?"
"I do." Max's gaze is far away for a second, looking at places Kate can't see. Places that she carries with her, just as Kate holds her own memories, her own fears. Her hands are loose in Kate's, letting Kate trace a finger over her palm.
"You've done things with these hands, haven't you?" Kate asks. Max glances up at her, blinking, and Kate swallows as she keeps talking. "Big things, strange things." She weaves her fingers with Max's, giving her a squeeze. "Will you tell me about them sometime?"
"...I'll try." Max bites her lip, and Kate doesn't resist the temptation to lean in and kiss her, firmly and gently all at once. Max kisses back, shivering as Kate runs careful fingers through her hair.
"I love you," Kate whispers, pressing her foreheads together.
"I love you, too," Max breathes. Her eyes shine; so close, so beautiful, so perfect. Kate can't see her, see this, as anything other than holy. She wraps an arm around Max's shoulders and pulls her close, pressing their bodies together as their hearts beat as one.