Chapter Text
The reflection off of the buildings were blinding paired with the absorbent fashion that made up the Capital was different than what was shown of the Capital growing up. What they showed made it seem like it was a place where anything was possible and in some ways it was, but when you’re close to the glitter and conversations, it’s easy to spot the darkness that was so well hidden from the districts.
Growing up you were taught to believe the Capital was amazing and the decisions made were for the right reasons — that didn’t mean people truly believed it though. For some reaping day was a bold reminder while for other districts believed it was an honor to fight in the games, to volunteer was bold and made their family proud but for you the former was the reality.
District four, a career district, however unlike district one and two, who fell into the latter category of taking pride in joining the games for the Capital but to train for the games to make it through — yet the training was what was necessary to work different jobs in the district. They were skills that weren’t meant for the games but translated well.
It had worked for yourself, Mags, Finnick, and Annie when she went into the games. The games haunted all of you in different ways — the Capital playing a part in that process, particularly for you and Finnick.
Mags and Annie knew why visits to the Capital occurred, it was unspoken but when the two of you returned you found yourselves sitting on the shoreline next to the Victors Village. No words were spoken, but the weight was heavy in the air. The two of you spoke often in the Capital during the trips trying to find comfort but when you were finally home you could finally take a deep breath, the facades you so carefully created fell.
The trips to the capital started for you first as you were already eighteen, it wasn’t until a few years later when Snow called Finnick to the Capital. It was something you fought against when you talked to Snow but he declared Finnick would be coming to the Capital — so a deal between you and Snow was struck. He wasn’t one to make deals like this but when he realized that it gave him more leverage and opportunity, he agreed.
Finnick and Annie didn’t know but after a drunken night after returning, you told Mags everything, she listened in horror as she held you close as the tears fell. From that day on, Mags took notice to check in on you more, for your frequent solo trips to the Capital she held you tight and packed you snacks for the journey, despite knowing the train would be filled with food the districts could only dream of having — not even the type of food but the amount of food so readily available.
You’d grown close with some of the other victors during those trips, staying on the same floor of apartments — you were proud to call them your friends. Being in their presence offered you and Finnick a safe space to drop the act of being the capital darlings. They understood on a level only victors could.
The only other victor that was hard to nail was Haymitch — he only made the trip to the Capital when Snow demanded, which translated into a few parties. No where near the amount you’d been forced to attend, but his absence was oddly something you took comfort in — it meant that he hopefully didn’t have to suffer more than he already was as he drowned himself in bottles of alcohol.
Yet you somehow were able to crack his tough exterior, somewhere along the way becoming friends and somewhere along the way something more. There were no labels and no desire for one, a label was just asking for trouble from Snow. Things were already hard with Snow and the more leverage he had the more trouble you’d be in — it didn’t take a mine reader to imagine the threats he would levy your way, so there were no labels, nothing concrete except for the butterflies you felt in his presence and the longing at the end of a night that left you tangled in his sheets.
It could never happen but that didn’t stop the dreams — the thoughts of throwing everything out the window for a moment of alone time outside of the capital. Moments that could only exist in daydreams, locked away from everyone close to you and in unwritten pages of your journal. Hell, you weren’t even sure how he felt towards you outside of friendship and lust, but if that was the way he viewed you, why were there nights spent talking, with a fully sober Haymitch?
The thoughts of Haymitch led you to your current state. Waves lapping at your body as you floated on your back, sun beaming down, eyes closed as you imagined a life out of reach.
“Wave girl!” You heard a familiar voice call out. Peeking out of your one eye you saw the matching face — Finnick. “It’s time for dinner!”
Taking a deep breath, you tried to bury your dreams down, as you swam back to shore.
The night before the reaping, the day when you and Finnick brought two innocent kids to the capital who were facing the fact that they might never return, even if they volunteered they were still kids. A trip that fractured you every year, but you’d do your best for them, dazzle the citizens and get sponsors – anything to keep them alive..
“I’m here, calm down,” you said, as you made your way over to where he stood a little back from the shoreline.
Rolling his eyes, he linked his arm around yours and practically dragged you to Mags house. “Mags wouldn’t start without you and I’m starving,” he groaned, “so sorry for not being patient.”
“Whatever,” you laughed, as you gently shoved his shoulder.
—
A bit after the game started, Snow always called the mentors away for a party he was throwing in honor of the games. The idea of being at a party while the tributes were fighting for their lives made you feel queasy, the games playing all throughout the room felt wrong, but you had to find the positive in the party otherwise your facade would crumble, so you focused on finding sponsors for your tributes. It was the only way you would be able to make it through the party.
All of the other mentors except one seemed to have a similar plan – yet there was Haymitch alone sitting at the bar. Capital citizens knew better to approach the victor after years of being pushed away and the god awful smell of alcohol he reeked of. It wasn’t a smell you enjoyed but his presence made up for it.
Leaning on the bar you angled yourself to face the man, next to where he sat, “Haymitch.”
“Princess,” he smirked, drawing a small smile out of you. When he first called you princess you detested it but as time went on, the way he said it changed. It took on a different meaning, one that most wouldn’t notice, assuming the man was messing with you, but you knew better.
Tapping your hands twice on the counter with your middle finger, earned you a soft smile and a shake of his head from the man, that was quickly replaced with his uncaring front he put on when you were in public.
The signal was something that you had come up with last year, a way to speak without speaking knowing you were being watched. A double tap of a finger letting him know to find you at your meeting spot. When you both agreed on the signal, he suggested changing the fingers and hand used in case Snow had people watching you during the party and a recording of the party – if Snow found out, you were afraid but the risk was worth it to be with him.
You did your best to protect your loved ones lives and prevent Snow from breaking the deals you made, but finding someone you loved was rare, it was especially rare to find it in another victor from a different district. After all, there wasn’t a way to travel to other districts and calling would only attract the attention of Snow, so if there was an opportunity to be together you were going to take it.
It was selfish, but you couldn’t resist him.
During the games there were moments between the two of you that could only take place in secret — soft spoken words and stolen kisses. With the game on if either of your tributes needed help to send them something Finnick took charge, handling district four and letting Haymitch know if his tributes needed anything. Finnick was good like that.
Finnick always remained casual, whispering questions about Haymitch at the Capital that never recieved an answer, but when you returned home it was different — that’s when he asked for all of the answers to his ever growing list of questions about your romantic life.
He never said it explicitly, but you knew he was hoping you’d find your own Annie.
You didn’t mind it though, you were both floating in the water when you first told him about Haymitch, away from prying ears and potential capital surveillance. Sometimes accompanied by Annie or Mags who wanted to know about your relationship with the man. The four of you were as close as can be, while the other victors kept more to themselves or with each other. If any of you needed anything you’d be there for each other but Annie, Finnick, and Mags were your family.