Archive of Our Own

“Shit, hyung. I need more. Please—fuck ahh, oh fuck—Felix hyungie.” Seungmin is so fucking done with hearing Chan almost every night. He doesn’t even live here. Seungmin looks at the clock beside his bed, and it’s only 10 pm; they’re just getting started. 

“Channie, shush, you’re so loud. You know I usually love it, but Seungminnie is gonna hear you,” Seungmin hears Felix say, loudly enough for Seungmin to hear. A weird, makeshift apology that should not be happening right now. Either way, he hears a stream of apologies come out of Chan. 

Chan’s normal and will apologize tomorrow, or act like it never happened. They quiet down, and Seungmin thinks he’s in the clear until he hears four distinct knocks on their shared wall. A request for Seungmin to leave, great. Ran out of his own apartment again. 

Luckily, Seungmin doesn’t mind the short elevator ride and walking down a hallway to Jeongin and Chan’s apartment. Felix tells Seungmin that he wouldn’t be so bothered if he got laid himself. Brought a guy back to their place and annoyed the fuck out of Felix. ‘It would make me and Channie hyung’s annoyances seem fair.’ Seungmin always tells him: ‘I don’t mind Yongbok, I’m not interested in anyone right now anyway.’ 

He’s not lying to Felix; he just has always failed to mention the fact that he has never been with someone. He’s been in relationships before—well, maybe one he would count as serious. And that guy was nice, but being busy with comebacks and his work, they just never got the chance to. Or, if Seungmin’s honest with himself, he never felt the need to put that much trust in somebody. 

He’s lived 23 years without sex, he’ll be fine. He would like it if Chan and Felix would stop being so off and on, so they could move in together and never have to make Seungmin take a walk to Jeongin’s place. Speaking of, he probably should have texted him to make sure he’s free, but it’ll be fine. 

He knocks on the door, with no answer. Maybe Jeongin is in his room and can’t hear a knock. Seungmin texts him, and it’s read in the next minute. Jeongin doesn’t start typing for another minute, and then he takes another minute to reply. Damn, Jeongin is slow. 

give me two seconds hyung

Then another, please don't be mad

Weird. He doesn’t bother with a reply because he can hear Jeongin scrambling… and he can hear another person. Did Jeongin have someone over? Is it one of the guys? Usually, Seungmin is his first choice; they’re best friends, and he must’ve noticed Chan coming home and leaving again at 9 pm. He only does that during really busy periods. Now is not a busy time. 

Seungmin almost always comes over when Chan goes to his. Why would he—Jeongin opens the door. He seems to be alone. “Hey, hyung, I’m sorry. Come in, don’t go into my room yet. Just go sit on the couch,” Jeongin says, and he looks… he looks like he just ran a marathon. Sweaty, hair tousled, and, not a marathon adjective, but he’s got some red lipstick smeared on his neck. 

Jeongin doesn’t have a shirt on. Seungmin doesn’t ogle him, doesn’t steal a glance when he looks behind him, and definitely doesn’t want to squeeze his growing biceps, or better yet, be squeezed. He also definitely doesn’t look at Jeongin’s defined abs, doesn’t think about the work he’s put in, hours at the gym. He would look the same as he does now, minus the lipstick, maybe breathing harder. Jeongin groaning, moaning—he should respond to Jeongin. 

“Oh,” is all Seungmin manages to say before a girl walks out of Jeongin’s room. She looks annoyed, looks like she’s run a marathon as well, but she’s more disheveled than Jeongin. Her red lipstick is smeared across her face, hair tousled and curling at the ends, and undeniably sweaty. 

She storms towards the door, and Seungmin just side steps into the entryway so she can pass. When she squats down to put her shoes on, Jeongin opens his mouth to speak, probably to apologise, even though Seungmin is the one who crashed their night. 

But she speaks up first. “Don’t, oppa, just don’t. I can tell what you really want,” she says, and in contrast to how angry her movements are, she sounds very calm. Almost like she had been preparing for this, or if this had happened before. “What is this? Tenth, twelfth time? Fuck this.” Oh! So, this has happened before. 

Jeongin shoos Seungmin away with his hand, he obeys; he’ll hear the story when Jeongin’s done talking to her. Wait, now that he’s thinking about it, Seungmin has never heard of this girl. Granted, they don’t talk about their sex lives often, but that’s because Seungmin has nothing to talk about. 

Seungmin walks into the living room and sits down on the couch. He can hear them speaking in hushed voices, and she sounds annoyed as fuck. If this has happened ten times, like she said, it makes sense. He still doesn’t know her name, which is annoying him. 

He’s left alone long enough to start questioning his thoughts from earlier. Was he… thinking about Jeongin… squeezing him? What does that even mean? It was just some bro, best friend, appreciation. Admiring all the hard work Jeongin has made since Seungmin first met him. Yeah. 

After what seems to be another minute or two, Jeongin walks into the living room. Well, walks through the living room to go into his room and put a shirt on. Sad—what? Normal. It’s normal to put a shirt on when you have a guest over. When Jeongin emerges from his room, Seungmin notices the lipstick mark again. It’s not smeared on his lips, which is odd to Seungmin: only on his neck. 

“Sorry, hyung. Really,” Jeongin says, sitting on the couch right next to Seungmin. Right where he can see that fucking lipstick. He doesn’t say anything, just grabs a tissue from the coffee table and wipes it off of him. He just couldn’t look at it anymore. “Why did you do that?” 

“Lipstick on you. Unsanitary for it to stay there.” Is that what he wanted to say? No. For some weird reason that lipstick mark was annoying him and he’s still fucking mad about not knowing who that girl is. “Who’s the girl?” He tried to sound calm. 

“Uhm, just a hookup…” he trails off, obviously wanting to say more, but doesn’t. Seungmin signals for him to finish his sentence, mostly because Seungmin doesn’t know how his next words will come out of his mouth. “What? I just. I didn’t tell you because we never talk about those sorts of things.” 

Oh. “Well, doesn’t sound like you’re being very good to her.” It comes out sassy and still annoyed. Why is he so pissed? 

“Hyung,” Jeongin says sternly, almost like a reprimand. “What the fuck? Eunyu says one off comment, and you’re gonna take that as fact above all.” There’s her name. Eunyu is a pretty name. “Why would she come back if she wasn’t satisfied—shit, she probably won’t after tonight.” 

“I’m sorry. Chan hyung was—they were… You know, and I forgot to text before I got here. And—” Seungmin cuts himself off. Why the fuck did Jeongin pick up his phone? Did he hear the knocking and then the phone buzz? But they seemed deep into it? “You know I come here when he disappears from yours,” he whines, unintentional, much like the pout on his face. 

“Don’t pout, and don’t blame me, please, hyung.” He’s not trying to blame him—he doesn’t want to. He kinda wants to. Seungmin doesn’t know what he wants anymore. He feels like his entire world has been spun around, shaken up and down, and then thrown back into orbit again, and he hasn’t had any time to regain his balance. 

“I-I’m not trying to. I’m sorry,” he says, and they sit in an understanding silence for a second before Seungmin speaks again, small and soft. “Why did you answer my text?” Jeongin’s eyes shoot open, and a blush starts spreading up his neck, or maybe that’s the leftover lipstick Seungmin couldn’t get off without water. 

“You’re the only one who goes through my do not disturb, and you only text this late when it’s important,” Jeongin answers, and that’s fair.

“But stopping that for me? Kind of extreme, you could’ve answered when you were done.” Seungmin hates how shy he is when talking about sex, even thinking about it is a little gross. He gets off, sure, but he’s never one to think back on it. 

“I wasn’t gonna let an unknown message from you sit on me for an hour or two.” Seungmin’s eyes widen instantly. 

“An hour or two?” Seungmin asks, basically shouts. He knows sex can take a while, but getting pleasure for that long has to get boring eventually. “How do you keep… that up for so long?” 

“Hyung-ah,” Jeongin laughs, fucking laughs at him. Seungmin feels another pout forming on his lips. “What’s the longest you’ve had sex?” No. Don’t ask that. As much as he loves lying, this feels like something he should lie about. 

“I-I-uh. I’ve never.” God, this is so embarrassing. 

“My Seungmin hyung a virgin?” Jeongin asks, but it sounds more like a statement. It sounds like he’s assessing Seungmin and seeing how much he’s worth. “You don’t say? How much a virgin, kissed, messed around?” 

“I’ve kissed someone, Innie. Stop asking questions, this is why I never told you,” he’s whining, unintentional again, but the pout is intentional. It worked last time. 

“Okay, okay, but just one more, hyung,” he says, raising his eyebrows, like he knows Seungmin is gonna break. He nods and gestures for Jeongin to ask, hoping it’s not too bad— “Why?” Oh. He doesn’t really know the answer to that. Well, he does, just seems kinda too intimate to share with Jeongin. But he asked. 

“Never trusted someone that much.” It’s a half lie, there’s one person he trusts that much. Sitting right across from him, looking at him in disbelief, or maybe fondness? Seungmin hates describing Jeongin’s gaze as fond, he knows Jeongin would hate it. 

“What about that one boyfriend you had?” Seungmin shakes his head no. “Not—not even me?” Fuck. He should make a joke about Jeongin being the last person he would trust, but that would be lying, and he can’t lie to Jeongin, not about this. This shouldn’t be happening. 

It takes a moment for Seungmin to reply, not wanting to say the wrong thing. The blush has spread up and around Jeongin’s face. It was never the lipstick. “You’re the only one I would trust.” Seungmin probably has a matching blush spread across him. 

“Fuck,” Jeongin says, low and breathy, just meant for himself. Jeongin’s been mostly still for their entire conversation, but after Seungmin says that, he adjusts his pants. The suddenness of the action makes Seungmin look down, he shouldn’t focus on the fact that Jeongin is hard. 

He shouldn’t focus on it. He shouldn’t focus on the fact that he’s very obviously big. And he definitely shouldn’t be getting aroused right now. There’s an obvious tension in the air that shouldn’t be there because none of that conversation should have happened. 

He should of just fucking texted first. “How do you have sex with people you don’t trust?” The question tumbles out of Seungmin before he has the time to filter it. There’s no shame laced in his words when there should be. 

“Well, with hookups, I don’t get intimate, it’s just blowing off steam for both of us. So, no kissing, and no marking—which Eunyu was bad at.” It makes sense on paper, but Seungmin can’t help but find it difficult to understand. “Hyung, you know it’s okay if you don’t feel the same way, right? I don't have the same thought process about sex that… Minho hyung does, I’m sure.” 

“Minho hyung shouldn’t count in this metaphor,” Seungmin says, small and petulant, a pout on his face. 

Jeongin barks out a laugh. Always finding Seungmin extra funny when a joke is where it shouldn’t be placed. “He should, though! He has that different type of thinking because he’s been with Hyunjin hyung for however many years.” It’s been five. 

“More like fucking obsessed for however many years.” That’s been eight. 

Jeongin laughs again, and Seungmin feels the tension fully disappear between them. “Stop being funny, hyung, I’m trying to have a moment with you.” Seungmin pulls a fake zipper over his lips and locks them, throwing the key away. “Good.” Woah. Tensions back. “Now, seriously, do you understand?” 

Seungmin nods, but Jeongin chuckles. “No, tell me you understand with words.” Those feel wrong to use right now. 

“Yes.” He doesn’t even remember what he’s agreeing to anymore. 

“See, that wasn’t so hard,” Jeognin says, leaning back on the couch instead of facing Seungmin. “Wanna watch a movie?” Seungmin nods yes, still not wanting to speak for some reason. Jeongin seems to think that a good enough response, and grabs the remote. 

Jeongin flicks through a couple of options and lets Seungmin decide. He chooses a movie he’s seen before, pointing at the television when the option he wants comes on screen. “Hyung?” Jeongin looks worried for some reason. “You good?” 

“’m good,” Seungmin says with a smile. He’s just tired. 

“Whatever you say.” 

They don’t talk about their conversation that night until Seungmin is fed up with not talking. They haven’t talked in two weeks, and Seungmin has never gotten off so many times in two weeks. Everything is too much, and he just needs his best friend… in more than one way. 

If Seungmin is honest with himself, their conversation has replayed in his head probably hundreds of times. Jeongin’s stutter, the blush that moved across his skin, and his breathy response to Seungmin. He was so obviously affected by Seungmin. 

For the first time in his life, he wants that intimacy. It’s a weird feeling. 

Felix and Chan are ‘off’ right now, so Seungmin doesn’t have an excuse to go over to Jeongin and Chan’s apartment, but he does anyway. Standing in front of the door now, this seems stupid. He should just turn around and suck it up. Right before he is about to do just that, a tired-looking Chan opens the door. 

“Oh, hey, Seungminnie. You here for Jeongin?” Chan asks, and Seungmin should ask him where he’s going. Maybe, ‘why do you look so tired, hyung,’ or ‘are you okay?’ would probably suffice. Seungmin’s too fucking anxious about turning the other way and walking out with Chan to ask that though. 

“Yeah, hyung, I’ll just go in.” Real smooth Seungmin. Chan just nods, seemingly not noticing Seungmin’s weirdness. 

Seungmin slips into the apartment, closing and locking the door behind him, locking himself in. Shit. He’s never been so nervous to talk to Jeongin. He’s usually the one to ease his nerves, the one he can talk to about anything. 

He walks up to Jeongin’s door and doesn’t think about it before softly knocking on the door twice and walking in. “Yeah, Channie hyung?” He looks up from his phone slowly. “What the fuck. I mean, hi Seungmin. Why?” 

Jeongin’s in his bed, and, of course, he’s shirtless. Why wouldn’t he be? “I miss you,” Seungmin says, he wasn’t expecting to be emotional in this moment, but damn, does he feel like crying. “Please, Innie.” 

“Come here,” Jeongin says softly, opening his arms. Seungmin practically lunges into his arms. Jeongin makes a pained noise when Seungmin climbs into his lap. Usually, Seungmin would never do this ever—but he hasn’t spoken to Jeongin in two weeks. Seungmin needs this. “You're clingy.”

“Shut up,” he says, tucking his head into Jeongin’s neck. “You smell good.” Seungmin does not think about how he’s cuddled up to Jeongin’s bare chest. Sure, he has a hoodie on, but Jeongin’s bare skin is right there.  

“Is that why you’re in one of my hoodies?” He forgot he had one of Jeongin’s hoodies on, he has multiple of them. He’s been wearing them until his smell wore off, and told himself he would change before he left the house. Seems he forgot to. 

Seungmin doesn’t really know how to respond to that, so he just shushes Jeongin and cuddles closer to Jeongin, if that's possible. “You didn’t take your shoes off. Seungmin.” He can practically hear the eye roll in his voice. 

Jeongin tries to gently move Seungmin off of him or move his shoe-ed feet off the bed, but he doesn’t have any luck. “Hyung,” Jeongin says, and it kind of sounds like a warning. Jeongin puts his big ass hands on either side of Seungmin’s waist, and Seungmin’s stomach does not erupt into butterflies. Jeongin uses his grip to forcefully move Seungmin. It was definitely a warning. 

Seungmin tries to fight against Jeongin, more to be difficult than anything else, but he has no luck this time. Jeongin manhandles him so he’s lying on his back with his feet dangling off the bed. “You’re so annoying and unfairly strong.” 

“You have had plenty of opportunities to be unfairly strong with me.” Jeongin emphasizes Seungmin’s own wording; now he’s embarrassed, and he’s forgetting the entire point of coming here. Well, the manhandling certainly reminded him. “Take your shoes off, and you can keep being annoyingly clingy.” 

Seungmin doesn’t move. “Innie, will you do me a favor?” He shouldn’t ask this of Jeongin. Still, Jeongin hums and moves down onto the floor to take Seungmin’s shoes off. Jeongin gets one of Seungmin’s sneakers off before he speaks again. “I-I want to, um. You know I trust you.” Jeongin gets the other shoe off. 

“I do, yes, hyung, and I trust you,” Jeongin says, walking over to place Seungmin’s shoes by his bedroom door. He shuts the door and sits back down beside Seungmin before saying anything else. This is a bad idea. Jeongin’s going to say no; he has options. Jeongin doesn’t have to settle for Seungmin. “I can practically hear you overthinking.” 

“Do you remember what I told you last time we talked?” Seungmin asks, looking away from Jeongin; he doesn’t want to see him. Seungmin knows this is a big ask, and it’s probably going to be turned down. 

Jeongin clears his throat, then replies. “Yes, I remember.” 

“Would you—” This is so embarrassing. “Would you want to—or not want, but would you? I-I want to learn.” Worst idea Seungmin has ever had. He can’t even say the right words, if he can’t ask directly, maybe this shouldn’t happen. 

“Look at me.” Seungmin doesn’t look at him until Jeongin places a hand on his chin and turns his head for him. Oh. Jeongin does want this. Maybe a lot if Seungmin is reading his face correctly. “Are you asking me to teach you about sex?” Not exactly. 

“No.” Jeongin takes his hand off of Seungmin’s cheek, panicked— “I want to have sex with you. Want you to be my first, Jeongin,” Seungmin’s words flow out of him faster than his mind can filter them. Jeongin’s been having that effect on him recently. “Sorry.” 

Jeongin looks relieved, but beyond that, Seungmin can’t tell what he’s thinking. “Do you want to do it tonight?” That was easier than he thought. He did not think his plan through this far, though. Does he want to do this tonight? “We don’t have to tonight. We don’t have to do it at all.” 

“I want to. I just—I don’t know how, so I don’t know what to expect,” Seungmin says softly, matching Jeongin in that aspect. He would love it if Jeongin would talk to him about what would happen first, then they do… whatever. But that seems like a weird thing to ask. 

“Everything would be up to you, hyung. Here, we can walk through some stuff. First, would you want to top or bottom?” How does Jeongin just know Seungmin’s needs?

“Bottom.”

“You answered that fast,” Jeongin says with a giggle. He’s not making fun of Seungmin, he knows that. Seungmin also laughs lightly and shushes Jeongin. “Are you gonna let me take care of you?” Seungmin didn’t expect that question. The butterflies are back. “Gonna let me teach you? Make you feel good?” 

“Yes—yes, Jeongin. Stop it,” Seungmin whines, looking away from Jeongin. He looks too sincere, too happy, too into this, which is admittedly a good thing, but it is kinda scary. “Do. Would you… kiss me?” He remembers Jeongin saying something about kissing being too intimate for hookups, but, selfishly, he wants to be kissed.

“Right now?” Jeongin asks, and Seungmin sits up, facing Jeongin, and he shouldn’t but…

“Really?” he asks, breathless, which is better than what he thought was going to come out of his mouth. 

Jeongin’s been sitting against his headboard this entire time. He leans forward, grabbing Seungmin by the waist, and pulls him forward into his lap. “Of course,” Jeongin says, and Seungmin leans forward, connecting their lips hesitantly. Jeongin follows him, letting Seungmin do what he wants. 

Seungmin doesn’t rush into it, just one—two—three chaste kisses. His hands come up around Jeongin’s neck, he’s willing himself not to grope Jeongin’s chest. “Can we tonight?” 

“Yes. Just tell me what you need.” Seungmin doesn’t really know what he needs right now. Jeongin pulls Seungmin closer to him. His hands slide under the bottom of his hoodie, just resting there. Seungmin feels like his skin is being lit on fire where his hands are. Seungmin hopes he’ll have burn marks in the shape of them. “Kiss?”

“Yes,” he says, and Seungmin is so thankful that Jeongin seems to understand him perfectly. Seungmin leans back in, connecting their lips again, and Jeongin lets him set a slow pace. After a couple of seconds, Jeongin laces his hands around Seungmin’s waist and pushes his tongue against Seungmin’s lips. 

Seungmin tries to speed up their kiss, but Jeongin keeps it slow. He slides his tongue in and explores Seungmin’s mouth, up, down, left, right. He tastes like the toothpaste Seungmin got him recently, with hints of brown sugar milk tea, his recent obsession. 

Jeongin’s hands slide up Seungmin’s back, more burn marks on his skin; he hopes to be covered in them. He tangles his own hands in Jeongin’s hair, whining in impatience, wanting to speed up their kiss. Jeongin relents, stopping his exploration to speed up and deepen the kiss. Seungmin hums, happy. 

He thinks he could stay here forever, kissing Jeongin. He never understood the love of kissing before, but in this moment, with Jeongin, he thinks he understands now. He could do this for hours—if he didn’t have the promise of Jeongin fucking him. 

Seungmin accidentally grinds into Jeongin’s lap, pulling away from the kiss with a moan. Seungmin immediately hides in Jeongin’s neck, trying not to grind down into Jeongin again. “What’s wrong, Seungminnie?” Taunting. 

“Want more,” he replies, not acknowledging Jeongin’s question any further. 

“More of what?” Seungmin whines in protest, Jeongin knows he doesn’t know. Maybe he doesn't know, but Seungmin wishes he did right now. “What do you want?” Another question Seungmin doesn’t know the answer to. He must recognize Seungmin’s annoyance because he starts rubbing Seungmin’s waist comfortingly. Burns, scars, please, form and stay forever. 

“Just do whatever you want to me,” Seungmin says, coming up from his hiding spot in Jeongin’s neck. And… Jeongin looks beautiful. His hair is tousled from Seungmin’s hands, his lips red and bruised and slick from Seungmin’s lips, and his face, neck, ears, and body spread in a gorgeous blush. 

“You sure?” He knows the answer to that question, luckily. 

“Yes, just, c’mon, Innie, touch me.” 

“Say please.” Seungmin miscalculated here. 

He waits a moment before he speaks, not wanting to give in, make it a challenge. But after a moment or two of Jeongin not relenting and touching him anyway, he whispers, “Please.”

“Please, what?” Jeongin asks tauntingly, not only does he want him to say it again, he wants some sort of title with it. Lucky for Jeongin, Seungmin is desperate enough to give in and not be a brat. 

“Please, hyungie,” he whines out, embarrassed at the blatant power structure between them. Embarrassed isn’t the right emotion—turned on and extremely horny describes what he’s feeling better. Maybe both emotions are mixing together to make every emotion overwhelming. 

Jeongin looks taken aback, maybe that’s not what he meant. Oh, fuck. Did Seungmin just out himself as the weird freak that Jeongin will never see normally again? “Th-that’s not what I meant. I thought you were gonna say—” Seungmin tunes out the rest of Jeongin’s sentence, too embarrassed to pay attention to what he’s saying. He feels like he could cry. His best friend thinks he’s a fucking weirdo now. Shit, he is crying. “Hey, hey, hey,” Jeongin says, snapping and waving his hand in front of Seungmin’s face. “It’s okay, Seung.” 

Jeongin takes his other hand out from under his hoodie—he’s lying; he thinks Seungmin is weird. It’s not okay. He feels himself let go and starts to cry more before he processes his emotions. Jeongin gives him a tissue from his nightstand, rubbing his back while speaking to him softly, “Baby—Seungmin, hey, you’re okay. You did nothing wrong, hmm?” 

Seungmin nods, but still doesn’t believe him. At least he’s willing to forgive and forget. Seungmin guesses this is probably the best outcome. “Stop thinking bad things, hyung—” Seungmin winces at the word. “Shit, I’m sorry. Look at me,” Jeongin says, it feels like an order—a command maybe, even though it’s a normal request. “Your glassy eyes are so cute. Don’t pout. I’m complimenting you.” A command—Seungmin stops pouting, or he tries; it’s more his default face than anything else. 

“’m sorry,” Seungmin slurs. He doesn’t expect it to be so difficult to apologize. He’s done it plenty of times before, especially for saying or doing something stupid. But, words feel—hard. Well, he’s hard, achingly so—words feel difficult. Seungmin looks away from Jeongin’s fond gaze as he starts speaking. Fond is usually the last descriptor Seungmin would use when describing Jeongin looking at him, but that’s the only word that comes to mind. 

“Cute,” Jeongin says, as if it’s only meant for him. Even though Seungmin could hear the faintest hitch in his breath after he said it, maybe he didn’t mean to. “You have nothing to be sorry for.” Seungmin has stopped crying, so he looks over at Jeongin with a mix of confusion and denial. “You’re just like a puppy. The head tilt, the eyes. You know the power you have over everyone because of those eyes, right?” 

Seungmin didn’t realize the undeniably puppy-like way he tilted his head in confusion, he does it all the time. He’s called a puppy or a dog all the time, but the way Jeongin says it and lifts a hand to pat his head makes his cock twitch in his shorts. Suddenly, he remembers why he’s here. He lets his eyes fall downward, and Jeongin is also still hard. “Eyes up.” He snaps his head up and keeps his eyes on Jeongin’s face. “Do you still want to do this tonight?” 

“Yes. Please. Said you would. Please,” he practically begs, grabbing Jeongin’s hand that's traveled to his cheek, gently wiping away the tears that had fallen there. Burns won’t form there, the tears washing them away.

“Call me hyung again.” A command—‘hyung’ almost comes tumbling out of him, but he stops himself. Seungmin doesn’t want to go through that embarrassment again. He moves to hide in Jeongin’s neck again, but Jeongin stops him, holding him where he is. Then, a little bashful, “I liked it. Say it again.” 

Fuck. How is he supposed to deny Jeongin now? “Hyung,” Seungmin whispers, looking anywhere but Jeongin’s face. 

“No. Like you did before.” Seungmin closes his eyes and whimpers, he can’t be serious. “While looking at me, now.” He looks over at Jeongin, and he can tell Jeongin is not joking. He enjoys this, and he really wants Seungmin to say it again. “C’mon…” 

“Hy-please, hyungie,” Seungmin whines. Fuck, might aswell really go for it. “Need you, hyung. Please, Jeonginnie hyung.” Jeongin’s loving this. Smirk plastered on his stupid face, panting, and Seungmin’s like eighty percent sure he felt Jeongin’s cock twitch. 

“Fucking hell.” He’s breathless. “Just—lie down. Hyung will take care of you.” Seungmin’s cock twitches this time and he hopes that Jeongin didn’t see or feel it. “Oh?” Welp. “Want your hyung-ah to take care of you?” 

Seungmin climbs off Jeongin and lies down on his back, not giving Jeongin a response. Well, except looking at him with his best puppy eyes, he can conjure so Jeongin will get a move on. “Cute,” Jeongin whispers when he turns around to dig in his nightstand. 

He turns back around with a bottle of lube, only about a fourth left, and a condom. They both get tested regularly—got one a week ago actually, so he doesn’t see the need, but he’s not going to comment on it right now. Jeongin places both items on the bed and grabs onto the waistband of Seungmin’s shorts. “Can I take these off you?” 

He nods, but Jeongin doesn’t look pleased. “Yes. Please.” Now he’s the breathless one. Jeongin slides them down his legs and grabs onto his boxers the same way, looking at him with the question on his face. “Yes,” Seungmin says again, as breathless as before. 

Jeongin slides his boxers down his legs the same way as his shorts and grabs onto his hoodie. Seemingly ignoring Seungmin’s aching cock for now. “Wanna keep hyung’s hoodie on or take it off?” When Jeongin says it like that… But he’s gonna get hot, so maybe he should take it off anyway. Plus, once Jeongin takes his pajama pants off, he’ll be bare too. 

“Off.” Jeongin hums, helps Seungmin out of his hoodie, and grabs a pillow, lifting Seungmin’s hips and placing the pillow underneath him. He sees Jeongin eyeing his dick, for the first time. He’s not small, just average, but he feels a little self-conscious under Jeongin’s gaze, even though it's a short look. Jeongin opens his mouth to say something, but Seungmin speaks first, cutting him off. “Kiss me? Please, hyung.” 

Jeongin places a reassuring hand on Seungmin’s thigh, and it is reassuring, it just also happens to be very close to his cock. Jeongin leans down and presses a kiss to Seungmin’s lips, just a quick, chaste one. Then a kiss to his jaw, then on his neck. “This okay?” 

“Yes,” he says, breathy and drawn out. Jeongin kisses his neck again and again until Jeongin starts sucking on his neck. Fire. Jeongin is hot lava sliding down his skin, sitting on his neck, waiting for him to burn away. “Careful, no-no marks.” 

“None at all?” Jeongin asks, and maybe he could have some. They don’t have to be on camera for at least a week, but maybe it’s still too risky. What if Jeongin doesn’t even want to put any marks and just said that as a quip? “I can’t even put just one on you, puppy?”

Seungmin shivers under Jeongin, his breath hitting Seungmin’s neck and his words going straight to his dick making him a little dizzy. “None th-that anyone can see.” 

“Good.” Oh. He’s good. Seungmin is being good, answering Jeongin’s questions. 

Jeongin places a few more kisses on his neck, sucking a hickey there, probably light, and moves down to his chest. At first, Seungmin thinks he’s going to keep going down, but instead he latches his mouth onto one of Seungmin’s nipples and teases it with his tongue. 

Seungmin arches into the touch, not expecting his mouth to feel this good. Jeongin uses one arm to keep Seungmin’s waist pinned to the bed, and uses the other to attack Seungmin’s other nipple. They’ll be scorched before he’s done, burned and withered away like the rest of him that Jeongin has touched. 

“Do—ahh—don’t tease,” Seungmin says, breathy and quiet, but Jeongin keeps flicking his tongue over his nipple and tweaking his other one with his hand. Jeongin keeps and keeps going, switching his hand and mouth eventually. Moans keep slipping out of him—he doesn’t want to come from this, he’s too close. “Please, hyung.” 

Jeongin pulls away from his chest, placing soft kisses up to his lips. “Enough teasing?” he asks, and he’s not opposed to being teased; he just has some dignity. 

“Didn’t wanna—want you to—” Jeongin looks so endeared. “Don’t look at me like that,” he whines. 

“What do you want, Minnie?” Evil. Jeongin is evil. 

“Want you to-to fuck me. Now, please, hyung. Please, hyungie. Please, please, plea—” Seungmin gets cut off with a moan, Jeongin wrapping a hand around his cock for the first time. One stroke. “Hyung,” he squeaks out. 

“I’ll give you anything and everything you want,” Jeongin says, low and in Seungmin’s ear, hand still on his cock. Resting there. Seungmin tries to thrust up into his hand, but he is still being held down by Jeongin’s other hand. 

Jeongin lets go of Seungmin’s waist and cock. Before Seungmin can ask what he’s doing, Jeongin kisses him, deep, sloppy, and intimate. 

He can still taste the toothpaste and brown sugar milk tea mix of before. It’s still weird to him, but weirdly comforting. He really hopes he’ll be able to—

Oh, fuck. Jeongin somehow distracted him enough to get two lubed fingers on his hole, teasing him again. “Please, ‘m ready, hyungie.” 

Jeongin inserts a finger slowly, letting Seungmin really feel it. God damn, he has long fingers. “You don’t know how much I love hearing you say that.” 

“Say—ahh—what?” If Jeongin can tease, then Seungmin can too. His usually menacing side is a little toned down from the finger inside him. 

“When you call me hyung, I love it,” Jeongin says with no embarrassment, like Seungmin thought he would. “Do you like it?” 

“Yes—yeah, I. Fuck, yeah. I didn’t think I would, but—oh fuck.” Seungmin cuts himself off with a moan, Jeongin having found his prostate, getting Seungmin to yell out from the unexpected pleasure, and now ignoring it. “Wait, please, please.” 

Jeongin shushes him and works another finger into him. “You okay, puppy?” he asks, sitting up between Seungmin’s legs, continuing to work Seungmin open.   

“Please, please, hyungie. Need—” Jeongin hums, prompting Seungmin to continue speaking, but he doesn’t think he can anymore. Jeongin keeps brushing right over where Seungmin wants his fingers most. Jeongin mumbles something indecipherable and starts massaging right on his prostate. “There, th—ahh fuck—there, yes.” 

“There?” 

“Yes—ahh fu—yes, yes—please, please, yes,” he begs, not wanting this feeling ever to stop. Jeongin incessantly massages his prostate—better than Seungmin ever has to himself. His moans get higher and louder, he suddenly realises this, moving his hands from where they are fitted in the sheets to cover his mouth. 

—Suddenly, Jeongin stops rubbing his prostate and starts opening him up again. “No, no, no. We can’t have that,” he says, batting Seungmin’s hands away from his mouth. He grabs the ones closest to him and holds his hand. Seungmin didn’t know he needed that so bad. Burned hands are worth anything for Jeongin, especially this comfort. 

“Thank you, hyung-ah, thank you,” he says, cause he doesn’t know what else to say, doesn’t know how to say anything else. 

“Of course, baby, my sweet puppy.” Jeongin rubs circles in his hand, fitting another finger in him. He doesn’t need that, he’s ready now, he just, he needs Jeongin’s— “shush, shh, puppy, I’m just making sure.” Seungmin might’ve been saying that out loud. Oops. 

Jeongin kisses his hand and pulls his fingers out, taking off his underwear. Seungmin hadn’t fully paid attention before, but Jeongin is—at least now—fully hard. He was probably hard for a while, there’s a pretty big wet spot on the front of his boxers. 

Once he’s fully undressed, he reaches towards the condom. Seungmin grabs his hand while he’s grabbing it. “Wa-wait, we just got tested. I’m clean…” he trails off, a little embarrassed. 

“Me too. You sure?” Seungmin nods. “Want hyung to fill up, his good puppy?” Fucking hell, Jeongin will kill him if he keeps up with this. Maybe he’ll burn to death before that happens, though. 

“Jeonginnie, fuck—I, yes. Yes, please, hyung.” Jeongin throws the condom behind him, little giggles coming from both of them before Jeongin places a kiss on Seungmin’s lips, pulling away with more giggles. 

“Whatever you want, my puppy,” he says, lubing himself up, sucking in air through his teeth like he was the one being burned here. “Ready?” 

“Yes, hyung,” Seungmin replies, breathless, needy, and ready. Jeongin’s tip catches on his hole, and he feels euphoric. 

Jeongin, his Jeongin. The love of his life, his best fucking friend taking his virginity, giving Seungmin this experience. “I love you.” It slips out, he doesn’t mean to say it. He shouldn’t have—

“I love you, too, baby. Stop thinking, talk later, yeah?” Jeongin says, interlocking their hands again, he just knows what to say and do. 

He pushes in slowly, letting Seungmin feel everything, every centimeter, every burn, every touch, every feeling they’ve left unsaid for so many years. Every single feeling that Seungmin, at least, didn’t know was there. 

“Doing so good. You okay?” Seungmin nods, then throws his head back. Jeongin keeps going, slowly but consistently. It’s everything Seungmin needs.  

Jeongin bottoms out. That’s when Seungmin realized he was letting out a low, breathy sound. Only letting go of it when he bottoms out, into a small whimper. “Don't move, yet.” 

“Jus’ let me know when.” Seungmin hums in response. “You feel fucking amazing, gonna drive me insane, baby.” 

“I haven’t already, hyungie?” Seungmin quips, making Jeongin chuckle lightly, causing him to move, nudging Seungmin’s prostate. Seungmin moans high and loud, slapping the hand not being held by Jeongin over his mouth. 

Seungmin remembers Jeongin’s disdainful reaction from before and lowers his hand back into the sheets, holding on there. “You certainly have, pup. You don’t even know.” 

And he’s right, Seungmin has no clue what or how Jeongin means by that. 

“Of course you don’t know, my dumb puppy,” he says, a little condescending, but above all, fond. Seungmin couldn’t trust anyone more. 

“You can move, hyung, you can—” Oh. That feels better than he thought it would. 

Jeongin grinds forward first, finding his prostate again, and pulls out a bit and grinds back in, not fast, but not slow. “Fucking—shit—you, oh my god. My puppy feels—fuck, fucking amazing.” 

Oh fuck. Jeongin’s moaning and groaning and whimpering a bit and Seungmin’s gonna go fucking crazy now. His cock is hitting all the right spots, Jeongin sounds right. Nothing could be better—

Jeongin speeds up, and this is better. He’s pushing little ah-ah-ah’s out of Seungmin, the sound right under Jeongin’s moans. “Harder, hyung-ah, please.” 

“Yes, baby, so—mmm,” Jeongin trails off, lost in pleasure, thrusting harder and faster. The first thrust makes Seungmin throw his head back again, arching into Jeongin. “Da-’s gonna take care of you.” 

“Daddy?” Seungmin says, though, it sounds more like a question mixed with a moan, though. Jeongin’s movements falter when he says it, and he drops his head on Seungmin’s chest, placing a kiss there with a soft, shut up.  

“I love you, baby,” he says, kissing Seungmin once. “So.” A kiss. “Much.” And another kiss, his lips are gone, charred black. They’d wither away if Jeongin wasn’t there—he would wither away if Jeongin wasn’t there. 

“Lo-love you, love, love—fuck ahh—you, so much,” Seungmin says, broken up by his moans. He’s definitely more vocal than he normally is, but he’s also been on edge since Jeongin had his fingers in him. Seungmin’s actually— “Close, close, Jeongin-ah, please, hyung, hyung. Please, Jeongin.” 

“Can you—shit, can you come without, or do you need me to touch you?” he asks, and Seungmin doesn’t know, but he thinks he’s going to come any second now. 

“Don’t need it, jus’ little harder. Please, hyungie.” Jeongin goes harder, faster, dead on Seungmin’s prostate, burning him from the inside out. Giving Seungmin exactly what he needs. 

Both of their moans turn higher and breathier together. Seungmin squeezes his charred hand against Jeongin’s—having the best orgasm he’s ever had in his life. “Thank you, hyungie,” he says, quick and breathless, this is quickly followed by being filled up by Jeongin. 

Jeongin unlocks their hands and collapses on Seungmin, both of them breathing heavily, and sitting in the afterglows of their orgasms. 

“Seung?” he asks from Seungmin’s chest. 

“Yes,” he replies, hoping it’s not something bad, or that Jeongin wants to get up, or he wants to push him out the door. 

“Thank you,” Jeongin says, lifting his head to place a kiss on his lips. It's innocent and sweet, but Seungmin doesn't know why he’s saying thank you. 

“Why?” 

“For letting me be your first, silly. Thank you for trusting me that much, hyung. Means everything to me.” One more breathtaking kiss, and he returns to his hiding place in Seungmin’s chest. 

He never thought about how this could be a big deal for Jeongin too, he thought of it as just another night for Jeongin. But Jeongin said he loves him, and he wouldn’t lie, not about love. 

Especially not when Seungmin’s been consumed whole by the flames of Jeongin’s love. 

He thinks it’s a minute or two before he starts to feel how sticky and gross he is. “Jeonginnie, I’m so gross.” 

“Two seconds, babe.” 

“One. Two,” Seungmin says flatly, letting Jeongin know how gross he actually feels. “Shower, please. With you.” 

“Put those words in the right order and I’ll get us in the shower,” Jeongin says, a quip. Seungmin can hear the smile in his voice even if he can’t see it. 

“I want to shower with you, please.” Seungmin has never had to put that much effort into stringing a sentence together. He deserves that shower, the burns are eating away at his brain. 

They’ve most definitely consumed his heart already. His brain might've gone with it, too. 

And, if Seungmin’s extremely honest with himself, in hindsight, he was consumed whole by Jeongin years ago. They fell in love around the same time, their interactions took a turn a couple of years back, and everyone noticed, everyone supported them, and nobody rushed them. 

And they didn’t rush each other. They waited for the perfect moment to be engulfed in each other's flames. 

“Okay, okay. You deserve it,” he says, always understanding Seungmin in a way that he’ll never know. Or maybe he does, he knows everything about Seungmin after all. 

Jeongin reaches for a tissue before he pulls out, grabbing it and wiping Seungmin’s stomach off before pulling out. He looks at his phone, “Chan’s not coming back tonight, c’mon.” 

Jeongin gets up, but Seungmin doesn’t move. “Carry me,” he says with a pout. Jeongin doesn’t budge. “Please, hyungie.” Another pout. 

Jeongin scoops Seungmin up, who is evilly giggling. “You’re not allowed to use that whenever you want,” Jeongin says. Hah. 

“You’re funny, hyung,” Seungmin says, his way of telling Jeongin he will be using this against him. Jeongin doesn’t look amused, but he doesn’t look uncomfortable. “You know, you have a power against me now, too.” 

Once they get to the bathroom, Jeongin sets him down on his feet and turns on the shower. “Oh? Puppy, right?” he asks, “or is it baby?” Honestly, either, but Seungmin meant the puppy thing. 

“You can figure it out on your own, Innie,” he says, an unintentional pout on his lips. Jeongin kisses it away. Keeps the flames simmering in Seungmin, too. 

“Get in, pup, I’ll help you,” Jeongin says, obviously testing the name. Seungmin gives no reacti— “So it’s the puppy thing.” How? “You blush so easily, hyung.” 

“Whatever,” he says, letting Jeongin help him get in the shower. His legs are a little wobbly, and he might have a slight limp, but being covered in burns with only those symptoms is pretty good. 

Well, he has one more symptom: his heart beating seemingly as fast as it can, only when around Jeongin. 

Seungmin stands under the water, letting it wash away all his burns. Jeongin climbs in the shower behind him, placing a kiss between his shoulder blades. The burns spread from that point out. 

They resurface like they had never left. 

Jeongin washes Seungmin’s hair to his dismay. Seungmin complains that he’s the hyung and should take care of Jeongin in some way but this is ‘a part of the process’ and he should just ‘enjoy it while it lasts.’ 

“You know what you are,” Jeongin says after a couple of moments of comfortable silence. He’s washing their bodies now, making sure to get Seungmin’s burnt, crisp skin to wash away. He’s burning it while he washes, but cutie Innie doesn’t need to know that. “You’re my puppy hyung.” 

“Yeah, yeah, let’s just finish up so we can go to sleep. ‘m tired.” He loves it. That’s adorable, that name, puppy hyung, addicting. Puppy hyung puppy hyung puppy hyung puppy hyung puppy hyung puppy hyung—

“Okay, all done.” A kiss, right on his burnt lips. “I know you love it, puppy hyung.” Of course he does. 

Jeongin gets out first, and helps Seungmin out after. He dresses Seungmin first, in Jeongin’s underwear, Jeongin’s shorts, Jeongin’s hoodie. Then he dresses himself, his own underwear, and his own shorts. 

They lie down together, facing each other. Sitting in a comfortable silence, for a minute, two, three, before Seungmin speaks. 

“We're together, right—” Your burn marks cover me and consume me, you can’t leave me. “I thought—” 

“Of course,” Jeongin says, soothing him with a hand on his waist. “I love you, hyung. I wasn’t sure if you want—wanted this—us to be together.” 

“I trusted you. I wanted you.” Seungmin pauses for a second, not knowing if the next thing he wants to say is too far. He’s spent so much of tonight overthinking everything before Jeongin told him to stop. Fuck it.  “I need you, Jeonginnie. I love you so much.” 

“I need you, too, hyung. I love you—in love with you.” A pause, simmering fire. “Been in love with you for a while.” 

“Really?” 

“Yes. I—uhm, it’s embarrassing, but yes, and everyone knows.” Seungmin can tell Jeongin is embarrassed, but he doesn’t know why. 

“What do you mean, everyone knows?” Seungmin asks because certainly not everyone can know. The guys don’t know, they would’ve told Seungmin. Wait. They have told him. They tell him all the time. 

‘Jeongin only looks at you like that, Min.’

‘He has such a soft spot for you.’

‘I tried to make that same marriage pact with him, and he said no, I’m waiting for Seungmin hyung. Just accept he loves you the most so we can all move on.’ 

“All the hyungs know. Never really told them, but apparently I’m obvious or something.” Seungmin laughs, of course, it was only him, oblivious to this love. “Fans have certainly figured shit out before, too.” 

“Shit,” he mutters, Seungmin might've been oblivious in the past, but he’s here now, burning with Jeongin’s love. Letting it consume him whole. “Let it burn?” 

“What?” 

“Let it burn,” Seungmin repeats, nodding, more sure than ever that he’s gonna let it burn. Jeongin laughs, pulling him into a kiss, sweet and innocent. Seungmin’s never going to be unsure about Jeongin again. If it wasn't fucking insane, and legalized, Seungmin would marry if right now, in this moment. 

It was perfect. Jeongin was perfect. Seungmin hates to admit it, but— “You were perfect,” Jeongin says, and, yeah, he was perfect for Jeongin. 

Jeongin burned him inside and out, and Seungmin will take all of those with pride. Never letting them heal, keeping the burns fresh, keeping them burning. 

Let it burn.