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Washington, D.C. - Just six weeks after the most controversial election in United States History, there may be a new concern for the White House staffers: the rumor that President-elect James Brighton has been secretly seeing FBI Supervisory Agent Peter Sadusky. The two were recently photographed by several paparazzi during an unscheduled trip to Mount Vernon where the pair reportedly spent the night though the staff at the former home of George Washington refused to speak with us. This comes days after a dismissed intern, Joshua Hadley who was asked to leave after he was caught abusing his privileges and using government computers to arrange for sexual services, wrote an incendiary post on the internet journal he had been using to document his time at the White House. The “blog” itself has been removed and Mr. Hadley has not commented on when or if it will be returning. For now, the White House has dismissed all claims that the President is, in any way, not serving the best interests of the American citizens and have released a press statement calling the allegations of impropriety are baseless. They have also scheduled a press conference for January 27th – the day after the State of the Union address. President Brighton was voted into office during the record-setting 2004 election, garnering 61% of the general vote. During his first 100 days, he instituted several programs to benefit impoverish schoolchildren, began asking Congress for a bill to give healthcare aid to the elderly, as well as began recalling several military units from areas they were no longer needed. He has never married despite rumors during his first campaign and has no children. He served 4 years in the Army after college, choosing not to reenlist when his time was up due to the death of his mother. Agent Sadusky joined the FBI in 1984 after serving 12 years in the United States Marine Corps. He was honorably discharged after sustaining injuries in the bombing of Beirut in April of 1983; he received a Purple Heart after the incident as well as a Joint Service Commendation Medal. He was briefly married to Jennifer Mays; she died in 1989 of lung cancer. There is no record of Sadusky having fathered any children. B. Slonski |