Chapter Text
He missed again. The bullet flying through the air, and right past the killer. He failed to save Elliot.
Elliot — the guy who saved Chance a few moments prior with a slice of pizza, after his gun blew up on him.
He just stood there, watching Elliot get massacred by 1x1x1x1 like he was being prepared for a stew. His expression not faltering. A habit by this point.
Chance stood there for a bit, looking at the scene, unable to tear his eyes away from it, but then realised that he should probably run if he didn’t want to end up with the same fate. Did he though? He pushed this thought down for later.
After this the round finished without any other events. Him, Guest, Two Time and Builderman being the last 4 standing.
‘Chance, how dare you let me get killed’ Elliot dramatically says, putting the back of his hand up to his forehead, and falling on the couch.
‘Heh, my bad. The air seemed dangerous’
‘No problem. We all have our moments’
Why did it feel like such moments were happening all the time to Chance? He pushed this thought down for later.
Chance decided to help out Elliot in making dinner and preparing pizzas for tomorrow’s rounds.
He must’ve zoned out, as he was spreading the pizza sauce for the past 5 or so minutes. Slowly sliding the spoon from side to side.
‘Are you alright? I think the sauce is well spread’ Chance snapped out of his trance at that
‘Oh yeah. Just gotta make sure it is really well spread. Don’t want puddles of sauce in random spots’
Elliot glanced at him for a moment, before continuing talking about something. Chance shoved it down for later.
At dinner Chance did his best to make jokes as much as possible and partake in conversations. The food tasted bland anyway, so he did not eat much. Not that it was tasteless, but Chance did not feel any fufillment from eating it.
He was pretty sure he received some weird looks, but he chucked it up to some jokes that didn’t hit. He shoved it down for later.
After dinner he excused himself, saying that he will be going to bed early. He always seemed to be one of the first to go ‘sleep’ nowadays.
He called it having a good sleep routine.
He laid there, mulling over the thoughts he shoved down for later. It was definitely unhealthy bottle it all up, but what could he do?
He messed everything up. Wasting such useful materials on nothing. He got Elliot killed. A teammate. A friend.
He deserves a good punishment. Chance rolls up his sleeve and takes out a lighter.
He shuts his eyes tightly, preparing for the pain, and brings the fire up to his skin. It hurts. Spawn it hurts so much. His eyes well up with tears, and he has to use a lot of effort not to sob or whine. But he doesn’t stop, just moving on to a different area to not destroy all nerve endings. He wouldn’t be as merciful.
By the end he’s shaking, tears streaming down his cheeks. He considers going for the other arm too, but decides against it. He always only focused on one area, in case Chance messed up again.
He lets the pain set in for a while, before getting his first aid kid, and working on the wounds. He didn’t want to get an infection, and cause the others to have to use even more materials on him.
This is fine. He’d dealt with worse. After this he felt content with going to sleep.
During next day’s round, he was messing up horribly. All movement of his arm caused immense pain, and he couldn’t hold the gun properly because of it, missing his shots.
He received many concerned glances at his periodical wincing and shaking hands. He shoved it all down for later.
After being killed by Jason, he just sat on the couch, waiting for the round to end. They’re going to be so mad at him. If he was here, he would be dead already. Such messing up was not permitted. He should not be doing worse because of his punishment.
‘Dude. What was that? You almost shot at me’
Guest didn’t seem happy. Probably mad at him. Chance wanted to fall through the floor right then and there.
‘Sorry’
‘It’s alright. It happens’
‘Probably a bad rest, eh? Go on, we’ll wake you up when it’s time for dinner’ Shedletsky took him by the arm to turn him towards the rooms.
Chance stiffened. His expression faltering for a second. Please let go please let go please let go
‘Chance?’ The grip on his arm was gone
They all look at him. So much hatred. He really messed up this round.
‘Sorry. Falling asleep in advance. I’ll go now’ Chance forced out, and head out the door.
Oh my spawn they hate him so much. He messed up real bad. The hatred on their faces. He can’t face them again. Not without punishing himself well.
He really didn’t want to do it, but he wouldn’t like it if he didn’t.
He rolled up his sleeve on the other arm, and took out the lighter. Why is he messing up all the time? It hurt so much. His soul felt like it was being squeezed painfully.
He felt sick. He decided to bandage himself up in the bathroom, in case he felt more sick.
When walking in, he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. Eyes dull, hair disheveled, tear streaks on his cheeks. A pathetic look on his face. A pathetic look on his face. A pathetic-
He threw up in the sink. He can’t do it. He can’t keep on going like this. It hurt too much. Everything hurt too much. He messes up too much.
‘They don’t need me’ Chance said, as he looked at himself in the mirror
They are wasting so much effort and resources on him, only for him to not even give anything back.
He looked at the bottle of painkillers, and after thinking about it for a moment, opened it, and swallowed a handful of them. He knew it will hurt. He needed it to hurt. He deserved it.
He stood there, feeling more and more sick by the minute. He decided to eat another handful for good measure.
He felt dizzy and sick. It hurt a lot, but he was happy to know it did. Chance hend onto the sink to not fall over. His breathing becoming weaker, and vision becoming blurrier.
After a while, his legs felt too weak, and he slid crumbled to the floor, dropping the pill bottle in the process.
He faintly heard some noise, but didn’t move or make a sound. He couldn’t.
He heard screaming and yelling. He thinks they were celebrating. He finally did something right. He felt someone touching him, but didn’t react other than his eyes trying to look at the blurry image.
He felt himself get picked up, arms wrapping around his stomach. Are they going to get rid of him already? Good plan.
Something was shoved in his throat, and he gagged. The arms wrapping around his stomach squeezing sharply.
After a few more attempts, he threw up. Something was being said, but he couldn’t figure anything out.
He felt so tired. He started dozing off, when a splash of cold water hit his face. Why are they not letting him die? Did he do something wrong?
He was forced to throw up a few more times until he was just left dry heaving, his stomach empty. He lay limply in their hold. No energy to move or make noise.
Chance was so confused on why they wouldn’t let him die. What happened? He was so delirious and nauseous.
He felt something cold being poured in his mouth, and gagged, throwing it up right after. It was poured in his mouth again. Presumably not what he just threw up. This time it stayed down.
Chance felt someone hugging him tightly, something being said. He couldn’t focus on anything else but his tiredness though. This time permitted to slip into unconsciousness.
Guest POV
That kid seems off lately. Especially today.
His aim seemed to not be as good. He seemed unfocused. Today he was stiff. His shots even worse than before. And he seemed to be clutching his arm a whole lot.
‘Dude, what was that? You almost shot at me’ he tried to not let his concern slip through too much
‘Sorry’
Not even a joke? Is this kid doing alright? He was becoming really suspicious.
‘It’s alright, it happens’
‘Probably a bad rest, eh? Go on, we’ll wake you up when it’s time for dinner’ Shedletsky took him by the arm to turn him towards the rooms.
He thinks it’s the first time he saw Chance drop his cocky expression. He looked stiff and almost in pain?
‘Chance?’ Shedletsky looked really concerned. He let go of Chance’s arm.
‘Sorry. Falling asleep in advance. I’ll go now’ It sounded forced, as he hurried out of the room
Everyone stood silent for a moment.
‘Uh, Guest? Can I talk to you for a moment?’
I followed Shedletsky to a separate room.
‘He has bandages on his arms’
What?
‘Dude, I think this guy really needs help’
‘I don’t think we should jump him right away. Maybe after dinner, we should ask him if he’s doing alright’
‘True. Should we tell Elliot and Noob?’
‘I don’t think we should tell them. What if we’re wrong?’
‘So, after dinner’
‘Yeah’
Everyone seems to be relaxed. Even me honestly. Maybe the guy really was just really tired. Happens to all of us sometimes.
Elliot said that he’ll go call Chance for dinner.
A scream. A blood curdling scream.
Shedletsky and I looked at eachother, and ran to Chance’s room.
Elliot stood there, a completely horrified look on his face. Then we saw it.
Chance laid on the floor of his bathroom, barely breathing and pills thrown about. His fingers and lips already turning blue.
‘Holy shit’
Builderman thankfully ran with us, so I asked him to take Elliot out of there, as Shedletsky dropped down on his knees next to Chance, checking him over.
‘Chance? Can you hear me?’ Shedletsky tapped Chance’s shoulder, only getting a weak look. His glasses and fedora fallen off, presumably during the fall
‘Painkillers. This guy overdosed on painkillers. We need to make him throw them up before they’re fully digested’
I picked the kid up, and wrapped my hands around his stomach. This guy was light. Chance laid limply in my grasp. We needed to act quick.
Shedletsky shoved his fingers down Chance’s throat, and the younger one gagged. Ok, it might work. I squeezed his stomach sharply. Better break a rib than lose a life.
We repeated this process a few more times, until he finally threw up a mixture of bile and half dissolved pills.
He seemed about to pass out, so Shedletsky splashed some water on his face to keep him awake.
‘It’s ok, you’re doing great. Just a few more times’
It hurt seeing the kid in such a state. What if Elliot decided to let him sleep in? Guest decided to stay focused at the task at hand, making Chance throw up the rest of the contents of his stomach.
I rubbed his back, as Shedletsky grabbed the water bottle brought by 07, and tried getting Chance to drink some. Chance ended up throwing up the first gulp, but after it the liquid seemed to stay down.
‘Shh it’s ok, you’re alright. We’re here’
Chance passed out or fell asleep. I wasn’t sure.
‘Holy Spawn, look at his arm’
I looked, and wished I didn’t. It was all covered in pretty bad burns. Did he do it to himself? Shedletsky pulled up the other sleeve, took off the bandage and revealed a similar scene.
I hugged Chance tightly. This poor kid.
Shedletsky worked on the burns, as I kept petting the guy. We should’ve noticed sooner.
After Shedletsky finished all the work on the wounds, I carried Chance to his bed, and decided to stay with him, as Shedletsky looked for anything that Chance could use in the future to hurt himself.