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Seth's whole attitude had changed since he came back to the WWE. He was now a very quiet, nearly shy one. Nothing compared to the man he was just a year ago. Always talking, knowing his upper place in the company. His knee injury changed him. Seth stopped bleaching his hair. Changed his whole gear. He wasn't the golden boy, the undisputed future anymore. Hunter stopped calling him after the surgery. And Seth realized what big mistake he made... choosing being a champ over his brothers. His lovers. His friends.
There was nothing left from that brotherhood. Seth destroyed everything.
Mostly himself.
It took him long enough to figure out why he never was able to enjoy being a champ. But... he was alone. No friends. Just enemies. Seth was broken. Deep down inside he just wanted to fix everything. To get Dean and Roman back.
There was no chance in hell they would take him back. No matter what Seth would do. And he understood. But Seth wasn't able to deal with it. Being alone. Being broken.
Seth sat down in the locker room after his short match against Dolph Ziggler, took out his little writing-kit. He took the time off to really start writing again. Maybe he wasn't the best author but he liked the feeling he got when he finished something.
„Dear brothers,
I truly am sorry. For everything I've done. You'll never understand what being champ meant to me. But from my point of view today – this was the fucking biggest mistake I've ever made. We had the chance to rule the whole WWE universe. But I wanted to be a champ. Alone. Without you.
Today I know it was wrong. It was wrong to break this brotherhood. You were my family. And I just tossed it away.
I broke my own heart that night. Each and every night I laid in my bed, thinking about you. About joking around with you. Bleaching my hair in some old and dirty hotel rooms. Cuddling together because we had to share the bed. Damn, I missed you. Your kisses. The gently touches. Getting fucked.
After I betrayed you I realized how much I loved you. I truly did. And I still do. With every inch of my body. I know you'll never forgive me. And I can understand it. I can't even stand myself.
I hate myself. I really do.
The time at home, all alone with my dark thoughts, killed me. Deep inside.
There is nothing left.
I am truly sorry.
I really am.
But I have to leave. Forever. Because there are things in life you can't repair. No matter how hard you try.
I know one day we will see each other again. In an other time and space.
Dean? Roman?
I love you.
And I truly am sorry for everything.
Seth“
Seth had that little smile on his lips. He finished something. And for the first time in months he let out his own feelings. He was sure about what to do. A single tear found it's way down his cheek.
He placed his little book next to him. Knowing he would have about twenty minutes left.
Seth took some new, damn sharp razorblades out of his bag. Pulling his pants down. His whole body was shaking. He got up. One quick, deep cut. Right through the vein in his groin. Seth let out a loud groan. Feeling the blood escaping his body. Seth was still standing on his feet, facing the huge mirror. It made him feel alive to see the red liquid running down his leg. A second cut, right on the other side. Seth was barely able to stand.
He was crying. The blade fell to the ground.
Suddenly the door opened. Seth winced, trying to turn around. But instead he just broke down. Crying, sobbing, shaking.
Someone wrapped his arms around Seth's weak body. Screaming for help. Seth looked up. It was Dolph. Holding him.
Seth closed his eyes. Just to open them again after Dolph just slapped him into his face. „Stay with me, Seth!“ Dolph's eyes meeting Seth's. „Stay with me... Please...“
„Lemme go..“ Seth's voice was broken, weak. „'m tired...“
„Don't sleep, little boy. We need you... Dean and Roman need you...Cause they love you... You understand that, Seth? They need you...“ Dolph kissed Seth's forehead gently.
Just a few seconds later the locker room was filled with people. Helping Seth. Saving his god damn life. Dean and Roman just stood there. Frozen. Shocked. Unable to say anything.
Dolph got up, taking the little book. With bloodstained hands he opened it up. Reading Seth's suicide note.
Seth was already on his way to the hospital as Dean and Roman sat down in the locker room. Dolph standing a few steps away.
„Read that...I'm on my way to the hospital..“ Dolph left the locker room after he handed them the suicide note.
Dean and Roman were staring at what Seth wrote. For minutes. With tears in their eyes.
„Damn...“ Dean was the first who found his voice again.
„Do you thing he wants to see us?“ Roman asked weakly.
„Don't know...Maybe. Maybe not.“
Half an hour later they arrived at the local hospital.
Seth was sedated. Still crying and sobbing. They had stiched him together already but there was no way to stop him from crying.
As they stepped into the small room Dolph got up and left, nodding with a smile.
„I truly am sorry...“ was the first thing Seth said.
„It's okay...“ Roman slowly wiping away some of Seth's tears. „Everything will be okay...“
„We... we still love you...“ Dean said, leaning down to kiss Seth gently. „We'll always love you...“
„Forever..“ said Roman with his low, gently voice.
And Seth stopped crying.