Chapter Text
College was supposed to be an exciting experience. At least that’s what Wooyoung thought until the school messed up his roommate situation.
He thought he filled out the application with Yeosang perfectly. They literally sat down together and filled it out at the exact same time, submitting it at the same exact minute, so how is it that instead of rooming with his best friend of 10 years, he’s stuck with a roommate he barely even knows.
It’s not that Wooyoung has a problem with Yunho really. They’re cordial with each other. Yunho stays secluded to his side of the room, doesn’t really bother Wooyoung about anything, the only issue is that he never leaves.
He
Never.
Fucking.
Leaves.
In the beginning it really wasn’t an issue. But it’s been 3 months now and there has not been a single moment where Wooyoung has not come back to his dorm and walked in seeing Yunho, eyes glued to his screen, fully immersed in whatever round of League he was on.
It’s not like Yunho doesn’t leave the room at all, yes he does go to the bathroom but even then with their dorm so conveniently located directly across from the men’s restroom, he is gone no less than 3 mins before he’s running back into the room as if he’s in a rush to get somewhere important.
But come on. Has the man never heard about sunlight? Or fresh air? Hell, even grass? When was the last time Yunho even touched grass?
Wooyoung isn’t entirely sure what Yunho’s class schedule is like, let alone if he even goes to class. He’s tried multiple times to strike up a conversation with him, but every time the responses are either little noises of acknowledgement or partial one word answers.
The only things that he knows about Yunho are as follows: He has a best friend named Mingi (which he only knows because sometimes he’ll walk into the room and hear him say something like, “Mingi-ya, I gotta go - Woo is back from class”), he majors in computer science (strange given the fact that he has not seen this man go to class once, nor ever do homework), and that he is extremely, EXTREMELY, invested in League of Legends.
Now, Wooyoung doesn’t have a problem with Yunho’s hobbies by any means; hell, everyone needs an interest to keep them sane, obviously. But the thing that is starting to eat away at him the most is that he has needs.
Needs that can only be satisfied in the sanctity and safety of solitude.
Wooyoung has tried everything: Jacking off in the car (just to be caught by the on campus police), occasional grindr hookups (mostly leaving them extremely unsatisfied), and, worst of all, attempting to jack off in the communal bathrooms (don’t even ask about that one).
But nothing.
Nothing ever helps him get off, and he feels like his balls are going to explode at any given moment.
But how on earth is he supposed to get his recluse of a roommate to get the fuck out of their dorm so he can have just a few minutes to alleviate his pain?
“Hey Yunho, could you leave for like 20 mins so I can jack off? I feel like my balls are going to fucking explode!”
He absolutely cannot say that - it sounds just as insane in his head as it probably would if he were to say it out loud.
Well, he thinks, I guess desperate times call for desperate measures. Time to seek out the school’s Reddit page to see if anyone has any good advice on how to get out of this unfortunate situation.
Seriously, where can I masturbate??
I (25 M) live in the dorms with my roommate (25 M) who I'll call Stefano for anonymity sake.
Stefano is a great guy, the only problem with him is the fact that he never leaves our dorm room ever. I don’t know what his class schedule is like but I swear whenever I come home he is always there at his desk playing League of Legends. I’m not one to judge someone on their hobbies by any means but god always having him in our room is making me go crazy. Like come on man…I have needs too.
Aside from my room, the only other place that I thought I could masturbate in is the shared bathrooms, but nutting on the public shower floor seems so disgusting and heinous.
It’s been like 3 months at this point and I can literally feel pressure inside my pubic region whenever I sit down. Does anyone know a place I can go to masturbate? Seriously.
_____________________________
Wooyoung really thought that there would at least be some helpful people on Reddit but unfortunately luck just wasn’t on his side.
Instead of providing an OUNCE of empathy for his throbbing problem, his fellow Reddit-using classmates were either talking about the plumbing issues in the dorms and why you shouldn’t jack off in the showers, OR providing the worst pieces of advice known to mankind.
Wooyoung laid on his back, brow furrowed in frustration as he scrolled through the comments on his post.
numba2_robeddit:
bro i am so glad i skipped the dorms
Large2liter:
Tell your roommate to touch grass
hydroflasktotheknee:
nut on his bed sheets
jjoongrmi1107:
Stare him down while you do it, he’ll leave pretty quick!
“What the actual fuck is this?!” Wooyoung grumbled to himself as he stared at his phone. This really did prove to be unsuccessful, So he did the second best option he could think of…
__________________________
“Oh, this is GOLDEN dude,” Yeosang barked out a laugh while holding Wooyoung’s phone in his hands.
“Look, asshole, if you’re going to make fun of me instead of actually trying to help, I’m going to just leave,” he said while trying to snatch his phone away from Yeosang, who kept moving it around just so Wooyoung couldn’t get to it.
Yeosang kept laughing as Wooyoung gave up fighting for his phone back and proceeded to pout and lay down on his best friend’s bed.
“I genuinely don’t know what to do Sangie. I feel like I’m going to explode at any given moment and I have genuinely tried everything.”
Yeosang looks at him blankly. “Everything you say?”
“Yes, everything!” Wooyoung’s getting annoyed he’s not hearing this.
“So you have asked him to leave for a few hours right?”
Wooyoung swallowed loudly and looked at the floor. Asking Yunho to leave is really not that simple. What kind of excuse would he give him? Can you leave so I can do homework alone? No, that's just an extremely lame excuse. It’s not like Yunho makes a lot of noise, plus he has studied with Yunho in the room, so that would just make it all the more obvious.
“Young-ah, literally just tell him that you need alone time in the dorm for a few hours.” Yeosang said as he sat back down on the bed. “That’s a perfectly normal thing to ask your roommate for.”
“I can’t Sangie,” Wooyoung laments. “I literally can’t without embarrassing the fuck out of myself. He’s going to think I’m insane or worse.”
“Okay, okay, fine. Since you’re so overwhelmed by this situation, I’ll just rip the bandaid off and show you this now.”
Yeosang pulled out his phone, unlocking it and putting it in Yunho’s hand. “Here, you can read this.”
Wooyoung took the phone and looked at the screen. There, staring right back at him, was a Reddit post with the title, “ My roommate is always hard and it’s becoming increasingly distracting”.
Oh
Fuck
NO
As if the title itself wasn’t enough to make Wooyoung’s blood run cold, the entire content of the post turned him to ice.
I (25 M) live with my roommate (25 M) that we’ll call JW for the sake of protecting his identity. I don’t really have any issues with JW at all. He’s clean, cooks for us on occasion, pretty quiet and keeps to himself. I don’t really know as much about him as I’d like to but it’s hard to start a conversation with him because he usually comes home when I’m in the middle of a league match and whenever I finish he’s either studying, asleep, or has his headphones on and I don’t really want to disturb him.
The main issue is that I’ve noticed that he’s always hard? I don’t know if I’m seeing things or not, who knows maybe he’s just packing and I’m just trying to rationalize it but I swear everytime I see him he’s either sporting a half chub or it’s like fully hard. It’s gotten to a point where because I’ve been seeing it so much it’s starting to haunt my dreams.
I’m starting to wonder if it’s my fault because I don’t really leave our dorm room often since all of my classes are online, but I feel like he might need some alone time to take care of the issue.
How do I go about telling him “Hey I’ll be leaving the dorm for a few hours” without it sounding suspicious? I don’t want him to know that I’m aware of his issue. I kinda need him to stop being so hard around me because it’s not really helping with the other issues I’m dealing with regarding him.
Any and all advice would be greatly appreciated.
Wooyoung couldn’t move. Actually he wasn’t even sure he was a real person. Did he always have a hard time breathing? Why was everything around him suddenly hot but his blood felt cold?
The amount of shame and embarrassment he felt was almost suffocating.
“Where and how did you find this? How do you even know for sure it’s Yunho?” he said as soon as he was able to remember he existed.
“Sannie found it while we were hanging out the other day,” Yeosang said with a giggle. “The only reason that we’re certain it’s Yunho is because he’s not exactly the smartest and did use his gamer tag as his Reddit account username and there is no one else on this campus that would willingly go by ‘puppyyvyv’ other than the living embodiment of a dog himself.
Wooyoung stared at the post a little bit longer, trying to wrap his head around the new information he just absorbed. Part of him felt embarrassed, he didn’t realize how obvious it was that he was struggling to control his dick, but another part of him felt a bit better knowing that this post existed.
If Yunho was also struggling with ways on how to approach him, that honestly gave him the higher ground.
“Although I am embarrassed about the fact that Yunho so obviously noticed my issue, this does make me feel a bit more confident about approaching him about the situation.” Wooyoung grabbed his belongings and turned to leave. “Thanks Sangie, I’m going to go talk to him.”
“No problem dude, but I do think you should look at these other posts of his cause they’re a bit interesting…” Yeosang began, but before he could finish talking, Wooyoung was out the door.
Yeosang sighed and flopped down on his bed. After a few moments passed, he heard the door open to his roommate San walking in.
San eyed Yeosang suspiciously. “Why did I just see Wooyoung walking out of our building with a pep in his step?”
“I showed him the reddit post we found.”
“The one about him being hard or the other ones?”
“Just the one about him being hard, I was going to show him the other ones but he was out the door before I could show him.”
“Well,” San said with a chuckle, “He’ll find out soon enough.”