Chapter Text
7:00 and I'm wrapping up dinner that I made, cleaning the table and putting the dishes in the sink, Black T shirt and red plaid sweat pants that even in the air conditioned interior of the house make me sweat. I’d made alfredo sauce with broccoli and the Texas Toast Renee bought yesterday and put in the freezer after the trip, I’d had to later put it in the fridge despite the fact it’s for dinner tonight. Though it doesn’t really matter all in all, Renee is getting ready for the night shift down at the late-night-for-ladies yoga night down at the ballet center and retirement home.
I’m using my sponge to scrub the plates we ate off of, leaving the pot with the alfredo sauce to sit for a couple of minutes even though I was going to have to scrub it no matter what. The hot water was turned all the way to the right, we’d tested it once and it got up to 128 degrees, curtesy of the tankless water heater installed when it broke a few winters ago. Two weeks before Renee and Phil had enough money to buy a new one. I finished the plates in the sink, settling into a dull pattern of dishes when Renee comes over, kisses my cheek and starts quickly saying goodbye to me and Phil, Phil who’s standing at the stove and boxing up leftovers into air tight containers from Sam’s. Phil kisses her goodbye at the door and closes it behind her.
She’ll be gone all night and since its only 7:15 I would probably be putting on a CD and reading a book or two until it got dark. Phil put the containers of still hot food in the fridge, and I glanced over my shoulder to say that he was going to make the noodles soggier if he let the condensation form the hot food trapped in the containers when his mouth covered mine, I didn’t startle, rarely did now, but he tasted like orange juice and it grossed me out for a second as it registered.
He squeezed my throat, cutting off air, not blood. Shoving my plaids down after untying the too big fabric, they fell easily, my boxers too when he slipped a hand under the lip of the sleep pants, the door opened and Renee walked in “I need my keys so I-“ and in a look I’d never seen, as if her hair-brained-ness was gone, eyes clear, she was dumping the pot of hot water that had been overflowing in the sink over his head, down his front, and yanking me away from him while screaming at him, kicking him and throwing pots and pans as she yanked my pants up and held me while calling the police not taking her eyes off him, threatening to cut his cock off if he so much as sat up.
She was shaking and she was crying and I wasn’t even sure when it started, I blinked and she was giving the police our address. He was crying on the ground, skin already blistering from the water that had been dumped down his front half. Fire arrived first, being a station down the road, police and EMS next, he was cuffed and treated first, me in another ambulance, being asked questions. They asked the basics, does anything hurt, what happened, the works. My mother was still bawling, so was Phil, I was dry eyed, not feeling the intensity of the situation.
Honestly it was all pretty straightforward.
Of course an investigation was started, and my mom wouldn’t be home anymore now than before so.. they proposed my other legal guardian: Charlie. I didn’t object, no reason to, so I packed the clothes that would be of use up there in Washington weather and Charlie paid for my flight, apparently insisting that I shouldn’t be spending my money on a necessity.
The flight was only 3 ½ hours and although I didn’t fall asleep it was pretty non-stressful. Next thing I knew was cloudy skies and air that wanted to mug me with the humidity. Baggage claim and the carousel later, Charlie was making a quick pace to get over to me and gently take my bags, talking in classic Charlie tone: even, low, and gentle. He asked about my flight, about how packing went and if there was anything I wanted and anything at all that I needed.
“I don’t have anything more than a thin long sleeve and a pair of jeans designed for Phoenix cold” I say, ruefully.
He smiles a little and says “Well, we can go shopping, I know you don’t like it very much but the cold will nip at you bells. Or maybe I can ask Sue Clearwater to help you pick out something a little more Chic” he says the words while loading my suitcase into the back of his Police Cruiser, looking mildly embarrassed at his own words.
“Yeah, that’s fine, I should have well over enough to replace my wardrobe with something substantial.” I say, clicking my seatbelt into place while he turns it on and cranks the heat to warm the cold car.
“No no, no need to pay for something that’s a necessity” he says, repeating the similar words he spoke before buying my plane ticket. “Ch- Dad, it’s really no big deal, I don’t mind, it won't hurt my pocket” I say, quietly arguing though there’s not much heat behind the words.
“I’m your dad, and I have a job, so let me until you can find something in town- if you want to work, you don’t have to, house is paid off so rents are not needed” he rambles firmly. I sigh inaudibly, “alright” and he looks relieved at my words.
The ride back from port angeles to Forks is steady, a comfortable silence fills the car, or a silence I think is comfortable, few things make me uncomfortable nowadays.
The radio chatters as a background noise to the rain that’s started up once as a sprinkle and is now leading into a now downpour. When we get home he has me rush to the porch with the key and he gets my bag, saying he doesn’t want me sick from the temperature difference and rain so he’s got it. He chuckles as he rushes through the muddy puddles to the porch, stopping under the awning and setting my suitcase on its wheels and unlacing his boots before coming in.
The words had been on the tip of my tongue but I didn't have to say them. I roll the wheels back and forth on the entryway carpet before taking off my own shoes, backside to the wall and setting them where they went all those years ago. I padded to the bottom of the stairs and he hurried to help, saying the stairs are old and slick and he doesn’t want me to fall over carrying something twice my weight.
He’s not wrong, it is heavy. He carries it up and sets it at the doorway of the room, carefully avoiding going in. “I was planning to order pizza if that’s fine with you, figured it would be a little late to cook,” it is 7:00 already so I agree easily, he awkwardly explains the little renovations to the room he made but says he tried to leave it mostly the same for when I wanted to change things.
“Thank you” I say, knowing there was no reason for him to go to such lengths to make me comfortable. He seems to relax with that and in his Charlie way gives a nod of his chin and a small smile “always bells,” before walking out and downstairs to presumably call the pizza place around the corner.
I unpack the few things I know I could wear at school and not be a trembling pathetic mess of goosebumps and leave the rest in the open suitcase out of the way, unpacking the few toiletries I brought, dollar tree body wash, razor, shampoo and conditioner, tweezer pack due to naturally dark hair and three sticks of deodorant because the myth that people don’t sweat and therefore don’t smell is a lie that won't become me.
Pizza is there by 7:20 and I plate a slice for myself and two for him, remembering he always ate two or half of the pizza, leaving my half until I was sure I was done and finishing it. And with no dishes to do I ended up checking the fridge, freezer and pantry and making a list of things I would need to get from the grocery store. Putting my foot down a small amount when Charlie protested.
“I’ve always done the shopping, it’s routine, I don’t mind I promise.” I reassure him, he looks anxious but nods, taking a silent breath.
Charlie had always been a more reserved man, but even I noticed when reserved turned to anxiety. He didn’t want to put too much on me, either fear of me splintering under the supposed shopping burden or similar tasks over time. I knew he was thinking about Phil, and the case, probably talked to Renee and made a mental list to help anyway he can without bringing Phil up.
And.. we both know I was taking care of Renee for the longest time, before phil came around and then it was just that I had my role and he had his, He took over bills, I kept grocery shopping and running errands and we silently agreed to just let her work as she pleased, it worked, the dynamic worked pretty well if I do say, except for the nightly visits he made to me.
I made a list for things to pick up at the small Albertsons in town the following day. I got in on Saturday and didn’t start until the following Monday, and Charlie quietly helped by suggesting old snacks they only had here that I used to like. And even if I didn’t want them, having some snacks would be nice so I wrote them down.
He threw out the pizza box and said goodnight before me, reminding me he worked tomorrow until 5, wouldn’t be home till 5:30, and Sue Clearwater was more than happy to go shopping with me for some weather suited clothes, his card was on the table and he insisted I take it. I turned off the lights and followed him up the stairs, showered slowly- as was habit-, and dried my hair with a drier. Brushed my teeth....
And… laid in bed.
I waited
Honestly, I waited.
845
900
940
1000
And forced to listen to the silence of the house, of boards not creaking, of my door handle not wiggling or the wood door not shuddering open is when I cried, soft and silently as I could never stand the sound my myself. I couldn’t understand why I was crying, bawling actually, gasping quietly for breath as tears tracked down my cheeks whilst I lay on my back. I cried and cried, muffling my nose and mouth.
1100
1200
100
200
And nothing
I was okay, nothing was going to happen, he wasn’t going to come in my room and visit like Phil, for the first time in years, the door never opened without my hand on the knob.