Chapter Text
Sleeping soundlessly was a rare occurrence for Bob. But there he was, under his custom-weighted blanket that John had spontaneously gifted him one afternoon, and it took Alexei with all his might to carry it up the stairs by himself. He laid on his side, with no nightmare troubling him and he would have continued like that for a few more hours if not for a soft knock on the door that had woken him up. His brown eyes slowly opened just before he heard another set of knocks. He recognized the three consecutive patterns and like always, felt himself grow light as a feather from the sound.
“Come in,” he said in a groggy voice.
The door swung open, and Yelena entered. Her smile held a brightness usually reserved for him and her father. That, in turn, made him smile, even if it was smaller and shyer than hers.
“Sorry, were you still sleeping?” she asked as she walked over to him.
“Yeah…” He rubbed at his eyes before letting out a tired yawn.
She sat on the edge of his bed and watched him for a moment. Then she reached over, brushing the loose strands of hair from his face and tucking them behind his ear. In turn, he closed his eyes, enjoying the tender gesture. It was warm and loving, so different from the hands that struck him without a second thought or the ones that avoided him as if he was some deadly disease. And yet, it made him want to tear up.
Why did kindness sometimes have to make him feel so emotional?
“It’s almost noon,” Yelena said as she pulled her hand back into her lap. “Did you have trouble sleeping last night again? Why didn’t you come find me?”
“You were passed on the couch,” he mumbled, pulling the blanket up to his shoulders, and hesitantly opening his eyes to meet her gaze.
“And…?”
“Well, I didn’t wanna wake you up. You looked so exhausted yesterday after that mission in New Jersey.”
She rolled her eyes. “I wasn’t that tired.”
“You were snoring… And you only do that when you’re really tired.”
“I don’t snore.” She playfully nudged him on the shoulder, amused. Bob couldn’t help but smile wide for a second before quickly forcing it back into a smaller one.
“Anyway,” she said, standing from the bed. “Just wanted to let you know we’re heading out now, but we shouldn’t take too long. Valentina wants us to do some lame photoshoot with some government people.”
“Yeah, Ava told me about it last night,” he said, then couldn’t help but feel like there was something important that came with that conversation as well… “It doesn’t sound so lame though.”
“Have you met government people? They’re soooo boring,” she said dramatically. “It’s all about laws and policies, acting nice, and some other shit I honestly couldn’t care less about. And to tell you the truth, I’d rather play that video game you’ve been wanting me to try all month.”
Bob blinked in surprise. “You do?”
“Yeah, sure, why not? Mario Party, was it?”
“We’re going to need at least two others, though,” he pointed out, sitting up with excitement blooming in his chest.
He hadn’t been able to get Yelena to try and play a video game since moving into the tower.
“I’ll have Walker and Ava join us,” Yelena said as she was heading out of the room now.
“Join what?” Ava asked, passing by just in time with an eyebrow raised.
“Mario Party,” Bob grinned at her.
“Who the fuck is Mario?”
“And I was supposed to have the more fucked up childhood,” Yelena sighed, grabbing the doorknob and turning to look at Bob. “I’ll text you. And remember, don’t open the door to strangers,” she teased before closing the door.
His joyful mood vanished once Yelena was out of sight, and the exhaustion from only three hours of sleep settled heavily over the emptiness inside him.
And soon, he was going to be alone in the tower again.
His phone buzzed on the nightstand. He picked it up and saw that Alexei had sent him a message.
Alexei: I got the last ingredients for that cheese noodle recipe!
Alexei: I put them on the left bottom shelf under the sink!
Bob’s eyes widened in realization.
That’s right - Yelena’s birthday!
At least, the day Alexei and his former partner used to celebrate it. The very reason Bob had spent most of the night trying to find the best recipe for the cake he was going to cake – one he was sure Yelena would love.
Because who didn’t love chocolate cake?
He pulled a notepad from beneath his pillow. It had a list of everything he had to do once Yelena and the others left the building. He was so glad she had woken him up in time.
While he read the recipe Alexei had given him - Yelena’s favorite food, mac and cheese with hot sauce and green beans - he smiled warmly at how she loved the unusual combination of foods.
But… What if he completely messed up making the mac and cheese? Or the cake?
He wasn’t a great cook, nor had he ever baked anything in his life. He usually just made eggs, sandwiches, or cereal.
His smile had vanished, the nerves twisted in his stomach, making him feel nauseous from the anxiety that was threatening to set him into a panic state.
But then he reminded himself that Alexei had told him all he had to do was follow the instructions he had given him, and things would turn out just fine. At least, when it came to the mac and cheese. The cake was a different story though.
“You got this…” he mumbled to himself, his fingers digging into his notepad and phone. “Just… follow the instructions… You can at least do that…”
He at least hoped so.
“But what if…” he cut himself off before he could let the doubts take over. He shut his eyes hard and shook his head out of frustration when he thought about how, for the past weeks, he’d been feeling like a burden for everyone around him. Especially after the one ‘incident’ that threw Bucky to give everyone the cold shoulder for days.
Doing his best not to think about that dreadful moment, he sighed as he laid back down to stare at the ceiling hanging over him.
“It’s just cooking and baking… that’s all you’re doing,” he told himself. “What’s the worst thing that can happen?”
Then again… he somehow always found ways to make things worse…