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Yushi likes to believe that he knows Sion best.
It’s easy for other people to miss the telltale signs of Sion starting to wear himself thin because Sion would rather jump off a building than let other people know that he’s not okay. But Yushi isn’t one of those people. Yushi knows because he’s always paying attention to Sion. He has been for the last seven years.
It only takes one look at Sion’s eyes to know that he’s not as okay as he says.
It’s no secret that the six of them have pretty huge shoes to fill. Even when they’re guaranteed to debut, Yushi knew that they would carry expectations higher and bigger than they could ever imagine for the rest of their career.
That seems to take a toll on Sion. It doesn’t help that he loves to carry the weight by himself. Yushi doesn’t get it. They’ve always been a team. Even before Yushi understands enough Korean to not rely on Papago, before there were anyone other than the two of them, before they were announced to the world, before they knew if they still have a future together. Yushi doesn’t understand why anything has to change now.
But Yushi thinks all those years of learning Sion have finally paid off. He’s not saying he knows Sion better than himself, but Yushi knows when to pull Sion back whenever he’s teetering too close to the edge, something Sion’s still struggling to do sometimes.
So when they finally have some time to themselves, just the two of them, Yushi asks if he can take care of him. Sion’s ears immediately go pink at the request, immediately understanding what he means. His mouth opens and closes like he’s running out of words but has so much to say at the same time. The want is clear in his eyes as he nods. It’s probably been a while since someone asked him that. Yushi swears to do it more often if it makes Sion this happy.
He has no choice but to share Sion, first with the company, then with the other trainees, then with the other members, and now with the whole world.
Yushi isn’t selfish, but something about Sion makes him feel like he is. The small sick and rotten part of him thinks the world doesn’t deserve Sion. He thinks no one could ever understand him better than Yushi does.
But the more rational part of him knows that it’s silly and stupid and childish. That’s why he tries, as hard as he can, not to let the feeling consume him. The only thing that keeps him sane, is the knowledge that this version of Sion—soft, pliant, and a million times more beautiful under him—will forever be reserved only for Yushi.
Sion’s back hits the bed with a soft thump and Yushi immediately finds his lips. Sion tastes like toothpaste and his body is still warm from his shower earlier. Sion sighs into the kiss, his tension melting with each kiss.
He pulls back from the kiss feeling dizzy, from the lack of air, but also from the sight below him—Sion with his eyes slowly fluttering open, lips red and slick from the kiss, chest heaving from the lack of air. Yushi lets himself drink in the sight, only realizing the smile on his face after Sion points it out, whining at the attention.
“Stop staring at me,” Sion hides his burning face under his hands. He’s fully crimson red and Yushi wants to bite him.
“You’re beautiful,” the words spill out of Yushi’s mouth, not caring if he sounds way too honest.
“Ushi,” Sion chuckles under his breath, half embarrassed, half fond. Sion starts tugging at Yushi’s shirt as an attempt to run away from the attention. “Take this off. I want–I want to feel you.”
So Yushi does as he’s told because he will never deny his hyung anything. Throwing his shirt to the side, he can feel Sion staring at him, his hands twitching from where they’re resting on Yushi’s waist.
“You can touch.”
As if he’s been waiting for permission, Sion starts running his hands up and down Yushi’s sides. Hearing Sion’s hum appreciatively strokes Yushi’s ego more than he likes to admit. Yushi finally helps Sion out of his clothes, mouth immediately peppering kisses on his shoulder.
Yushi’s head has always been filled with Sion, but now much more than ever.
Hyung is so nice and reliable. Hyung is always there with open arms to ease all of our worries. Hyung never forgets to remind us to not push ourselves. Hyung is always there to wipe our tears away. Hyung is so selfless and always puts us before himself. Hyung is so good.
Hyung, hyung, hyung, he finds himself muttering the words against Sion’s skin. For once, Yushi wants him to know that he can also lean on Yushi, he can be a bit selfish and let Yushi listen to his worries instead and knows that he is also number one on Yushi’s list.
Yushi lets his hands travel around his hyung’s body. Tracing the outline of Sion’s abs, feeling the skin flexing underneath his fingers and prickling with goosebumps all over.
Yushi kisses the spot where Sion’s heart beats, then takes the supple skin under his hands and squeezes. He hears the sharp gasp as he arches up into Yushi’s touch. Then it turns into tiny, breathy whimpers when Yushi starts thumbing the buds. He alternates between pinching and sucking on them, drawing a whiny moan out of Sion with every touch.
He feels the older shake under him, the shuddering of his breath going straight into Yushi’s ear and down his dick. He can feel himself getting hard already, and Sion is no better.
Sion may be taller than him, but right now, Sion looks so small under him. Looking up at Yushi with a lazy smile, Sion also looks like the personification of Yushi’s heart.
Sion whines for Yushi to stop, starting to get overwhelmed by how sensitive his nipples are getting. Yushi wants to know the things he can make Sion do without touching him, but saves it for next time. He shows Sion some mercy by taking off Sion’s shorts in one swift motion, making his already hard and leaking dick spring to his stomach.
Yushi can’t get over how pretty Sion is everywhere.
Yushi maps Sion’s pale body with kisses, sucking on the parts he knows make him squirm, until he reaches his crotch. Yushi takes Sion’s dick and licks a fat stripe across it, lapping around the tip where he’s already leaking. It earns a guttural moan from the older and Yushi can’t help the pride blooming in his chest. Sion isn’t that much bigger than Yushi, but he still can’t fit all of him in his mouth. Yushi uses his hands to stroke what he can’t fit in his mouth, matching the rhythm to the bobbing of his head.
Sion’s hand finds its way to Yushi’s hair, gently running his hands through it. He hears Sion mutter his name under his breath, words slurring against each other.
Yushi knows all the spots that make Sion’s knees buckle, elicit a sinful moan, or make him shiver with pleasure. Then the ugly feeling comes up to the surface again, but this time there’s smugness latched all over it, knowing that no one has the privilege of this information. No one has the privilege of seeing Sion crumble under them.
“Ushi,” Sion breathes out his name. “Ushi, Ushi, Ushi.”
Yushi feels drunk from it. His name has never sounded prettier coming out of someone’s mouth.
“Ushi, wait,” Sion pulls at his hair, hard enough to slightly sting his scalp. Sion cards a gentle hand through it as an apology. “I’m gonna come.”
“You can come.”
“No.” Sion closes his eyes shut, catching his breath. “I want to do it with you.”
“Inside?”
Sion shakes his head. “No, together.”
Yushi nods, climbing up to meet Sion in a kiss. It’s gentle, the kind that warms Yushi from the inside. He makes quick work of taking off his pants, throwing it away without looking back.
When Yushi’s back on top of him, Sion pulls him down, pressing their hips together. Yushi chokes out a moan into the kiss. The friction is wet enough from Yushi’s mouth on him, and each eager movement feels amazing.
Yushi sneaks a hand down to wrap around both of their dicks, his other hand finding Sion’s. The older holds Yushi’s hand tighter as he starts to stroke them together, moaning into the kiss that’s starting to get sloppy the closer they are to release.
“So good,” Sion whispers into Yushi’s mouth. “You’re so good to me.”
Yushi jerks them off faster. There’s a dull pain forming around his wrist, but he pays it no mind. Not when Sion’s face is scrunched up and mouth opening in pleasure. Not when he looks this pretty, teetering on the edge of his release.
“Pretty hyung.” Yushi kisses the corner of his mouth, and that seems to do it. Sion’s whole body shakes as he comes into Yushi’s hand, spilling onto both of their chests. Yushi follows not long after, his movement stuttering from the pleasure.
Yushi lets his body fall on top of Sion, only muttering a weak sorry when the older wheezes. It should feel disgusting, their sweat and come sticking to their bodies, but Yushi has never felt closer to Sion. He can feel Sion’s heart beating against his chest, and Sion can probably feel his too.
The soft caresses behind Yushi’s back almost lull him to sleep. But they need to clean up if they don’t want to wake up feeling icky. So Yushi forces himself to get up, not before being pulled down by Sion for a quick kiss.
“That was nice,” Sion cuts through the comfortable silence as Yushi wipes him clean. He’s staring at Yushi.
“Hm… It’s been a while.”
“It has, hasn’t it?” Sion’s still looking at him like he’s trying to figure something out. “You take care of hyung so well.”
Yushi doesn’t answer him, cleaning himself and throwing the dirty towel to the side. They can clean it up later.
“Ushi..”
“Hm?”
“What’s wrong?”
Yushi finally looks at him.
“I meant it when I said I want to take care of you.”
“You care about hyung that much?”
Sion has that teasing smile on his face, but the strain in his voice tells Yushi that he’s serious. So Yushi hums, even when he thinks that’s such an odd question to ask.
“You don’t have to deal with everything yourself. Just because you’re the leader doesn’t mean you’re alone.”
Sion smiles and Yushi realizes that’s the longest he’s talked all night. Because he needs Sion to understand him.
“Okay, Ushi,” Sion replies, his voice gentle like his hands around Yushi’s arms, pulling him to lie down.
“I’m serious,” Yushi grumbles but willingly goes under the covers, melting into Sion’s arms.
“Okay, hyung will let you know whenever I’m having a hard time.”
The next morning, Sion lets Yushi trap him to get an extra thirty-minute of sleep before their grumbling stomachs wake them up. Sion also lets the others cook him breakfast and lets them cling to him the whole day.
It’s easy for other people to miss it, the way Sion’s smile is different now, less tense and more genuine.
Yushi knows Sion, and he knows it won’t be easy, but he also knows Sion is slowly trying to let them take care of him for once, and for now that’s good enough.