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Family; the heart of a home.
***
Carlos sighs as he closes the door to his hotel room. It’s dark for the moments it takes him to step away from the door and slip the keycard into the electricity card slot, then an artificial light fills the room.
There’s a mirror next to him, and one glance at himself tells him he looks about as rough as he feels. After a busy day, he shouldn’t be surprised. They had him chasing fake criminals and proving he’s ready to run after the real ones in tomorrow’s mission despite how many people he’s caught over the past eighteen months, but apparently, it’s protocol, something he agreed to when he signed on that dotted line.
He likes his job, so he can’t say he regrets it, but when he taps his phone to find a familiar photo of TK and Jonah on the screen, he’s reminded why he hates it just a smidge.
When they adopted Jonah, he promised he wouldn’t do this, work away. He promised, or he wanted to, and TK reminded him that promises in their line of work aren’t something they can make a habit of making. He wasn’t wrong. They don’t have the luxury of promises, of being certain that they’ll be home at a specific time, of knowing shifts won’t overrun or get dangerous. Except, the difference is, TK can promise that now, now that he’s a stay at home dad rather than a danger magnet paramedic. Carlos can’t.
And this mission is… It’s not the most dangerous he’s been on, but it’s out of town and isn’t entirely safe, and truthfully, Carlos would rather be at home.
Still, currently, he’s greeted with an empty hotel room and a bed neither made nor slept in by his husband, and he sighs again.
Truthfully, he should shower. He’s sweaty and gross, and his hair is a mess, but he figures TK has seen far worse, and he just doesn’t want to wait anymore, so he crosses the room, sits on the lone chair in the corner of the room, and unlocks his phone.
This time, he smiles at his home screen, a photo of him, TK, and his mom from their wedding, but he bypasses lingering on that and opens FaceTime.
“Hey, baby,” TK says the second the call connects.
“Hi, babe,” Carlos replies, and as he does, he settles into the chair a little. It’s what seeing TK does to him, helps him relax, because TK is sitting on their sofa at home, already in his pajamas, smiling softly at the camera. He looks settled, and that settles Carlos.
“How was your day?” TK asks. “You’re back late.”
Carlos frowns fleetingly as memories of the day come back to him. He shakes his head a little, so TK cocks his, and Carlos lets out a breath. “Stressful. I don’t wanna talk about it.”
“Sure, baby.” He flashes a smile. “I’m just sayin’, if I was there, you’d be in the shower right now.”
Laughing, more of the day’s tension eases out of him. “I wanted to talk to you first. And Jonah; where’s my little best friend?”
Faux shock spreads across TK’s face, but he struggles to hide his smile. “Your best friend? Sorry, was I wrong to think that was me? ‘Cause I’m right here, Carlos.” He waves. “Literally right here.”
“You’re my second best friend.”
“What about Iris? If I tell her, she’ll be offended.”
Carlos chuckles lightly, leaning back in the chair. “You wouldn’t. You’re still scarred from when she called you short. She knows you’re scared of her, by the way.”
“Am not,” TK says, poking his bottom lip out like a toddler, like their toddler.
“Yes, you are.”
TK widens his eyes, again, just like Jonah does. “Well, you like her, and her best woman speech was amazing, so…” He trails off, shrugging. “Anyway, we got off-topic there, babe.”
Carlos doesn’t tell TK that it’s precisely what he wanted, to just talk about crap, really, to help him forget his day and the fact it’s still another too many until he’s home again, and it’s working wonders. Or, well, TK is. But if Carlos tells him, he’ll be smug, and as much as Carlos loves his husband, he does not want to deal with a smug husband right now, so instead, he says, “Off topic from what?”
Of course, TK rolls his eyes. “You thinking our four-year-old is your best friend.”
“He is.” When TK sends him a look close to a sad puppy, Carlos laughs softly and adds, “And so are you, TK.”
This time, TK grins. “That’s better.”
“So, where is he?”
“He’s in bed,” TK replies. “It is kinda late, babe.”
Carlos glances at the clock at the top of his phone and sighs. “Oh. I didn’t realize.” He rubs a hand across his face. “It’s been a long day.”
“Are you sure you don’t wanna talk about it?”
He nods his head. His eyes are sore, too, so he hops up to grab his glasses from the nightstand and settles back in the chair. “I was hoping to see Jonah.”
TK pulls a face. “I’m sorry. He was out like a light.”
“Did you have a busy day?”
Humming, TK shifts around. “We had a playdate this morning. We went to that new soft play on Research Boulevard and met up with Elijah and his mom. That was interesting.”
Carlos quirks an eyebrow. “Interesting how?”
“I like Jenny,” he says slowly, “but I really don’t care about what work they’re having done on their house this week. That’s all she talks about! And the worst thing is, they’re staying with her mom, so she hasn’t even seen the house for two months!”
He laughs loudly. “That doesn’t sound like you like her, TK.”
“I do, I do. I just can’t wait till Marjan and Joe’s little one is old enough for playdates.”
“What, because you want to spend time with someone you actually like?”
“No comment, officer,” TK replies dryly. “Anyway, after that, Jonah wanted ice cream, so I said—”
“Yes,” Carlos interrupts. “You said yes because you can’t say no to him.”
The moment he decides against lying is one Carlos can physically see. It’s like the cogs whirl in his brain, then he figures Carlos would always know when he’s trying to lie, so he decides against it, saying, “Yes, fine, I said yes. We had ice cream.”
Of course, Carlos finds himself chuckling at that. “What did you have?”
“I had mint choc chip.”
“Mm, toothpaste.”
“Hey, I won’t take mint choc chip slander, Carlos! That is grounds for divorce.”
“You wouldn’t dare,” he shoots back, and TK grins.
“Wouldn’t I?”
“No, you wouldn’t, babe. So what did Jonah have?”
“Strawberry,” TK tells him. “Which is basically one of his five a day, so…”
“Healthy,” Carlos says sarcastically. “And they say parenting is hard.”
“It is! ‘Cause you know what happened after soft play, hm? Yeah, that’s right, your best friend decided to kick off at the market because I wouldn’t let him try a chilli. And I blame you for that.”
“Me?”
“Yeah, babe, he said he saw you eat a whole one last week. When you made us nachos for dinner, and Jonah had his own cheesy version?” He raises his brows, but there’s a smile on his face. “You made our four-year-old think he can eat whole chilli peppers.”
Carlos snickers. “He probably could, babe. I know your inability to handle spice comes from your dad, so maybe your mom and Enzo—”
“Rude,” TK interrupts. “We are not testing that theory, by the way. No way.”
“He can try a slice when I’m back.”
As if he remembers that Carlos isn’t just at work, TK’s face falls. He lets out a sigh, then tries plastering on a smile that Carlos sees through. When Carlos doesn’t say anything, just watches him through the screen of his phone, TK murmurs, “I forgot you weren’t coming home tonight.”
“I wish I was,” Carlos murmurs.
“Yeah, me too.”
Carlos smiles sadly. “The chief said today it should only be a few more days. It’s—”
“It’s not your fault,” TK interrupts softly.
“I said I wasn’t going to work away.”
Even through FaceTime, the look TK sends him is one that simply says we both know you couldn’t promise that. With it, TK says, “I hate to point it out, baby, but you are the only one working right now. If we want to move into a house, we need your salary.”
Carlos huffs out an empty laugh. “I’m working away, and you have the most important job in the world.”
“We both do. We’re both parents.”
“I know,” he says, sighing. “It just feels like I’m missing out when I’m here.”
That’s the crux of it, really. He worries because his job is dangerous, he worries that he might inadvertently leave TK without a husband and let Jonah go through losing another parent, but it’s what he signed up for, so it’s more than that. It’s that he’s missing days and hours and minutes with his son; that’s not what he signed up for. He gets that he has to work, as envious as he can get that TK gets to be there all the time, but he wants to be there at the end of each day and the start of the next.
And that’s okay, usually, but being away is just making him think about what he’s not getting.
Onscreen, TK cocks his head to the side. “Are you sure you’re okay, baby?”
Carlos resists the urge to shrug because he thinks he is, mostly. Instead, he lets a small smile make its way across his lips and replies, “I miss him. I miss you both, but every moment is so precious with Jonah with how fast he’s growing up. He’s already four, TK. I…”
“If it’s any consolation, he misses you, too.”
“He does?”
TK nods without a beat. “He wanted a bedtime story from you tonight.”
Instead of making him feel better, Carlos’ guilt sets in even more. “This is why I should be there with you both, TK. I shouldn’t be—”
“Hey,” he interrupts softly, in a voice Carlos knows he uses to soothe Jonah’s bad dreams. “Baby, it is not your fault. You’ll be back soon. And you have that week off coming up, right? I was thinking we could take Jonah somewhere, maybe to the coast or—or my dad would love visitors.”
He sighs. “TK, we’re meant to be saving for a house.”
“And we are. But we can treat ourselves and our son to a vacation.”
The words settle into Carlos, and he leans back in the chair. It’s uncomfortable, truthfully, and lying on the bed would be so much more comfortable, but he still hasn’t had that shower, and TK is watching him on FaceTime with such love and adoration in his eyes that Carlos couldn’t move even if he wanted to.
And so, he lets out a breathy laugh, lifting his brows. “Can we?”
“Yep,” TK says, so matter-of-factly, so simply, and in a way that reminds Carlos so much of Jonah. “So, where are you thinking?”
“The beach would be nice,” he contemplates. “We could drive down, save on air fares, and Jonah has never been.”
TK smiles back. “No, he hasn’t. But he hasn’t been to the Hill Country before either. That’s closer.”
“That might be boring for a four-year-old, TK.”
“Fair point. And New York wouldn’t be boring.”
“It wouldn’t,” Carlos agrees. “Do you want to visit your dad? Because if you do—”
“Papa Bro,” a tiny voice interrupts, and immediately, Carlos’ attention falls to little Jonah appearing right next to TK.
“Hi, buddy,” TK murmurs. The screen goes blurry as he helps Jonah up onto the sofa, then Carlos is left watching the darkened ceiling. “What’s going on? Did you have a bad dream again?”
A beat passes, then Jonah asks, “When’s Papa Carlos coming home?”
Carlos’ heart shatters. It’s precisely the reason why he should’ve said no to this job, should’ve just refused. He wouldn’t have been the first father to refuse to work away from his family, and maybe he’d set some kind of precedent with it, maybe they’d learn that he isn’t always going to do as they ask when it comes down to leaving his family.
A long shift is— it’s fine. He has to do those. He has to work nights and overtime and cover, but he doesn’t have to be away for a week.
“Soon,” TK says. “Do you wanna see him now, buddy?”
Whatever Jonah’s answer is or isn’t, Carlos can’t see it, can’t see him or TK until a moment later when TK picks up his phone again. When he angles it, Carlos notices that Jonah is sitting on TK’s lap, curled up against him with his favorite dinosaur plushie in his hand, and the saddest eyes known to man.
“Hey, sweetheart,” Carlos murmurs. “Are you okay?”
Jonah’s bottom lip wobbles, and TK cradles his back with his spare hand, gently shushing him. “Hey, it’s okay. Papa Carlos will be home soon.”
“That’s right. Only a few more days, okay?”
Nodding against TK’s chest, Jonah looks out of the corner of his eye at TK’s phone. He says nothing at first, so Carlos just smiles a little as Jonah watches him. After a moment, he says, “I miss you, Papa Carlos,” and Carlos swears he could cry.
“I miss you, too,” Carlos says softly. He catches TK’s eye. “Both of you.”
TK offers him a smile. He adjusts Jonah on his lap, then holds his phone a little closer, lightly tickling Jonah’s side until he giggles. “So, Papa Carlos and I were just talking about taking you somewhere exciting,” TK tells him. “On an adventure. How does that sound?”
Jonah blinks. He looks up at TK as he speaks before looking over to Carlos’ image on the screen, and Carlos wishes he could reach out and hug them both. Then, after a beat, Jonah says, “A adventure?”
“That’s right,” Carlos murmurs. “Does that sound fun?”
Still, he hesitates. “Where, Papa Carlos?”
“Anywhere you like, sweetheart.”
“Anywhere?”
“Well.” He chuckles lightly. “Not quite anywhere.”
“But it will be an adventure, buddy,” TK says. “Just you, me, and Papa Carlos.”
“What about Dino?” Jonah asks.
“And him.”
“He likes an adventure, too, huh?”
Jonah nods. “Dino adventure!”
TK laughs softly as he leans down to press a kiss to Jonah’s head, and Carlos’ heart drops when he realizes he can’t do the same.
Still, he takes a breath only TK notices and says, “Let’s make a deal. We’ll plan our adventure when I get home from work, okay?”
“That sounds like a brilliant idea,” TK says. “What do you think, buddy?”
Jonah glances between TK and the screen again, then nods. “Will you read me a story when you are home, too?”
Carlos softens. “Of course, sweetheart. Hey, I have a better idea. Let Papa Bro take you to bed, okay? And once you’re tucked in with Dino, I can tell you a story. You got it?”
Immediately, Jonah jumps off of TK’s lap without warning. He laughs to himself, and TK laughs, too, panning the camera across so Carlos gets to watch him race back to his bed in the corner of the loft. Once Carlos sees him jump up onto his bed, TK pulls the camera back to himself and smiles.
“What about your shower, babe?” he asks, and Carlos shakes his head.
“You two are more important.”
“Is that right?”
“Always,” he murmurs. “I love you both so much.”
TK sighs contently. “I love you, too.”
In the background, Jonah calls, “Papa Carlos!” so loud that it echoes through the loft, and both of them laugh as TK jogs over to him.
To himself, Carlos promises he’ll never work away again.