Chapter Text
Niall didn't want to. It was obvious he didn't have actual feelings for Niall. It was just for the night, so that he could be there for Harry in ways that seemed impossible for his friend to have with the one he really desired. Harry didn't have to say what he wants, no, needs for him to know what was on the younger one's mind. The look in those glazed eyes, the way he bites his lip as green hues size him up told Niall exactly what he thought. They were sitting so close, empty bottles dropped on the floor and the movie playing on the telly merely background noise at this point.
Harry inched closer, making his way across the couch to corner Niall. Maybe the alcohol was thinking for him, making him believe something good would actually come from this. Harry's flushed cheeks, the way his neck moved when he took in a sharp breath, the way his green eyes stared into his own, like he's looking into his soul. Every move, every breath made Niall's heart pound and his stomach burn and his crotch ache until he thought he couldn't stand it if Harry didn't close the distance between them right now.
Harry bent his head, placing kisses on Niall's pale neck on the spot right below his jaw. Then, along the vein running down his neck, suckling on the now sensitive skin. Niall tried his hardest not to moan, move his head to give Harry more access. But it was so hard because he'd wanted this for so long, and the alcohol that coursed through him slowly lowered his will to say no. Harry's large hand went to cradle his head, and Niall couldn't remember when Harry moved on top of him, now pinned between the narrow couch and Harry's own fit body.
He attempted to speak, to say what Harry's trying to do would only hurt them both. That Niall couldn't take being a release for all the tension built up inside. But Harry's free hand started its way underneath Niall's shirt, and it took all of his strength to just breath, let alone speak. Harry grabbed his sides, and finally finished leaving marks right above his collarbone to meet Niall half way for a heated kiss.
The kiss wasn't what Niall imagined. It wasn't sweet or tender, but desperate and lonely and made him feel sad and hurt just thinking about why Harry was kissing him in the first place. Niall knew he wasn't who Harry truly wanted. But he pushed that thought to the back of his mind, let his eyes slip close, and explore Harry's mouth to the fullest.
Harry sat up, breaking the kiss to pull his shirt over his head. Niall did the same with his own, discarding the item to lay on the floor. But instead of diving back in to continue their make out session, Harry let his hands wander on Niall's chest, rubbing and feeling the muscles. Niall moaned loudly, and didn't even try to muffle the sound he makes when Harry's fingers grazed over his nipples, more sensitive than ever. It encouraged Harry even more, and he pushed his hips down on Niall's crotch, making both teens gasp at the friction.
Niall couldn't control himself anymore. Everything around him started to blur, and his hips began moving on their own to throw them into a deep, steady rhythm. He wrapped his arms around Harry, pulling him closer, and encouraged the boy to meet him half way. Their lips connected once more, and their chests pressed together in the most imperfect way.
Niall only thought about how perfect this felt. He liked Harry's tongue inside his mouth and he liked how his hips grind against his own and he loved the fact he caused all the hot groans and pants and moans that coming out of Harry's perfect mouth. His body was heating up more than he imagined possible and Niall swore he'd die if he didn't take off these fucking tight pants right now.
As if Harry read his mind, the brunette crawled off of him, and before he could protest, began releasing the restraints on his trousers. Niall gasped, and moved to help him get the useless item off, along with the rest of his clothing. They sat there for a moment, Harry staring at him, taking in every part of him. And Niall saw those deep, sad eyes widen in excitement at realizing this was really happening.
Before Niall allowed himself to feel embarrassed, he moved to do the same for Harry, unbuttoning his jeans and pulling the zipper down fast. But instead of pulling them all the way off though, Niall stopped the moment his boxers were down, freeing his erection. He lowered his head to meet Harry's hard on, and gave an experimental lick before wrapping his mouth around the head.
It didn't taste bad or feel weird, but it certainly was a new experience for Niall and it took a few tries before he figured out what exactly to do. Harry didn't mind though, gasping out what may or may not be words, and laced his fingers through fading blonde locks. Once Niall figured out how to hollow his cheeks the right way, he slowly lowered his mouth, taking in as much of Harry as he could without gagging and moved his left hand to grasp around whatever else left.
He moved his head in a steady rhythm, and the sound of Harry's stuttered praises and the way the hold he has on the back of his neck tightened encouraged Niall more. He pushed his limit, took in as much as he could and moved his hand along with the pace his mouth set. By this point he started to really enjoy the taste and feel of Harry's cock and let himself moan, running his tongue along the pulsing vein, down the underside.
But suddenly, Harry pulled on his hair so hard he wasn't able to tell if it hurt more than it felt good. He goes up for air, gasping for air and surprised. Niall looked completely debauched, his mouth wet and lips glistening from saliva and precum. His glazed eyes over met Harry's intense stare. But before he had the chance to ask why Harry stopped him, he answered.
“I was about to... you know.”
Niall loved and hated the way Harry suddenly became bashful now, after they already sat facing one another, both seriously lacking clothing and sporting major hard ons. But also felt a sense of pride, being able to give such brilliant head that he almost made Harry Styles come undone.
“I could have...” Niall paused for a moment, thinking about what to say next. Niall thought it was rather pointless, talking about it now.
But he realized he kind of had to, and the voice in the back of his mind telling him how this was a bad idea still echoed in his mind bad. “I could have handled it, you know...”
“Fuck, Niall, I'm sorry,” Harry seemed so pained and hurt it broke Niall's heart just looking at him. “I didn't mean for it to go this far. I don't want to have you think I'm...” He hated to see Harry so torn up, running his hand through his hair in frustration. At that point, all he wanted was for Harry to feel better. As his friend, it was his job to be there for Harry. That's why when Harry sounded so desperate and alone he invited him over for a movie and a few beers in the first place.
He'd be lying if he claimed what he said next was only out of concern and the desire to be there for his close friend.
Niall's hand made it's way to grasp Harry's, “You're not, Harry... don't even think that you're taking advantage of me. I'm your friend, I'm here to help...” Niall looked at their hands, and knew he wasn't just trying to convince Harry, but himself as well. “I know that you've got a lot of pent up feelings, it can't be easy... I understand the need to get off every once in awhile...”
“You...” Harry's voice was even slower than normal, “You don't mind...?”
And reality hit him. Niall was just a way for Harry to get out all of those repressed feelings, the ones that plagued his mind daily over somebody else. Niall would only be a friend, the one Harry went to whenever he was sad or alone, not the one he really wanted to love.
Niall stared into those beautiful green eyes he's fallen in love with, and smiled.
“It's okay. Just do what you need to do. I'll do anything I can, anything to make it easier for ya.”
His accent was thick, and he tried his best to make it seem like not a big deal, that being naked on his couch, offering to be a substitute was a perfectly normal thing to do. He was just a friend, one willing to do anything to help ease the pain of being alone.
And he better get used to it, because that's all he'd ever be.
Harry nodded once, and it was only a few seconds more before he slowly lifted a hand to caress Niall's cheek. Niall leaned into the touch, and his eyes slid shut just as Harry's lips pressed against his own in a slow kiss.
The rest of the night was painfully clear. Niall was able to finally get his hands on that beautiful chest littered with tattoos, full of secret meanings that only Harry knew. It felt great, being able to pull those jeans off Harry completely, to lie naked with him in that small space. He still felt Harry leaving kisses on the inside of his thigh, and the sting of his large hands stretching Niall's hole to the max.
Every sound Niall made, the way his hands tightened around the side of the couch in a desperate attempt to grasp something, anything, was almost intentional. He didn't try to stop himself from loudly moaning, from letting Harry's name fall from his lips, because he wanted Harry to know not only was he okay with this, he wants this. The last thing he wanted was for Harry to be hurt, to feel guilty and that he's used Niall. Because to Niall, there's nothing Harry could take he hasn't already been given.
Not only that, but he liked it. Harry's tongue was like magic, sliding over his dick and playing with it lightly. His hands spread his ass cheeks next, and then his tongue went lower, to poke and play with his hole. And oh god, Niall felt it should be a crime, having a talented mouth like Harry. Pretty soon, Niall found himself begging, “More... Harry, please...” and as Harry lifted his head, Niall pulled him up all the way, cupping his face with his hands and kissed him once more. He could taste himself, but he loved it and he loved the way he could taste Harry as well. They pulled apart, and Harry's beautiful eyes asked him once more if he's sure, and Niall's gave a reassuring nod.
Because there was still that other part in the back of his mind. It told him that maybe, just maybe, Harry might grow to love him instead. It hoped one day, Harry would realize everything he does is because Niall is unconditionally in love with him. That maybe, by that knowledge, Harry would realize his heart really belongs to the blonde Irishman that was there for him the entire time. Maybe Niall's way of thinking could be considered selfish, but really, he's only human.
Harry kissed him slowly, and lined up his throbbing erection at Niall's entrance. It's only then the nerves start to settle in, realizing he actually never went this far with anyone before. But both of them were too far to stop, and Niall swallowed back his fear as he felt Harry push inside him.
It burned and hurt and Niall regretted not thinking about any sort of lubrication or condom. He hissed loudly, digging his fingernails into Harry's back and tried his hardest to bite back tears. It felt like being split in two, but at the same time he felt full and complete, as if Harry inside him, moaning loudly and rocking against him was what he longed for his entire life. Soon, he didn't feel anything but Harry's mouth sucking on his neck and his hand jerking him off and the pain of Harry moving in and out of him.
They were both a panting, hot, sweaty mess and once Niall wrapped his legs around Harry, he let out a loud moan as he felt his cock hit his prostate just right. He pushed back against him, meeting his thrusts and they both fell into a fast rhythm. Niall's brain couldn't keep up with what was happening anymore, and only felt the pain and pleasure and Harry's hand wrapped tight around his dick. He chanted Harry's name, “Harry, Harry...” as if was the only word he knew, accent thick and laced. He felt his release coming on soon, and he wanted to find it fast and now even though he wanted this moment to last forever.
He finally hit his breaking point, moaning and cumming hard on Harry's hand, his chest, Niall's own stomach. He still felt Harry thrusts inside him, and although Niall was drained of any energy, became focused on helping Harry reach his orgasm as soon as he recovers. The blonde's hands slid from his back to his hair, running his fingers through Harry's curls. He loved how he could make the younger boy moan, and relished in the fact that he was the one with him right now, like this.
Harry's eyes closed, focusing hard, and when Niall finally grabbed a handful of his hair in a fist and tugged, hard, Harry couldn't take anymore. Niall felt him shudder and finally come, buried deep inside. It was so weird, being filled up likes this, and just as he's finished, Niall faintly heard a breathy, “Louis,” escape Harry's lips.
And like that, his fairytale dream was over. Reality set in, and the weight of Harry laying on top of him comes with the heavy feeling of guilt and hurt. Harry fell asleep quickly, loosely holding onto Niall, his mess of brown curls buried deep in Niall's shoulder blades. And Niall was left staring at the ceiling, Harry's body and the weight of their actions crushing him.
After a few moments, Niall broke slowly out of Harry's grasp, falling onto the floor with a silent, 'thud.' After a minute, he finally found the strength to stand, shaking, and he instantly felt both Harry's cum and his own dripping down his leg. He placed a blanket on Harry's sleeping form. And once he was done taking care of his friend on the couch, went into the bathroom and to clean himself off.
It was only until after he washed himself, put on loose sweatpants, and laying down in his own bed that he starts to cry. He tried to convince himself otherwise, but he's never felt more alone or used in his life. Hearing Louis' name was like a wake up call. It pulled Niall away from his silly delusions, and it smacked him across the face. His chest hurt. His head hurt. His body ached. And Niall painfully understood that Harry would never be his. Niall instantly regretted everything, for letting himself think that it was possible to have Harry. He hated how he let himself believe he was worth his love, that by sleeping with Harry it would make the teen fall in love with him. But Harry's only human. He's disgusted at himself, blamed himself, and now all he felt was dirty and unworthy.
He slowly drifted off to sleep, and when he woke, Harry had already let. There was a fry up sitting on the table, and Niall walked over to see a note laying beside the food. After sitting down, he found the courage to read it.
“Thanks for everything, Nialler. I didn't want to wake you up, you deserve to rest after putting up with me last night. Sorry if the food is already cold by the time you wake up, I thought it was the least I could do. You're a good friend, Niall, too good. I'm glad I can depend on you.”
Niall didn't feel hungry. In fact, he didn't feel anything. He knew that Harry would depend on him from now on.
And Niall knew he'd be there for him, in the only way he possibly could.