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‘This is it’ thought Peter, ‘I’m going to show him. I trust him and we’ve known each other for a while. He’s even saved my life! And I have a crush on him! So man up Parker. I can do this.’ Peter Parker aka Spiderman turned nervously to the spandex clad mercenary beside him. ‘It’s not that hard. Just open your mouth and- “Hey Deadpool?” The merc with a mouth paused in his rendition of how his last job went. He was impressed. Usually his Spidey didn’t hold out this long when listening to his exciting and not all that legal escapades. “Yeah baby boy?” The spandex clad man shifted nervously. ‘Here we go.’
“So I’ve been thinking-“
“What about?”
“I was getting to that-“
“Of course that’s not what he was thinking about yellow. As amazing as his ass is.”
“Deadpool would you please listen!”
“Of course Spidey! Shoot! Well don’t actually shoot. That would be distracting. Are you gonna actually shoot?”
“What- No!” Spiderman shook his head frantically, “Listen Deapool I was just thinking that, you know, we’ve known each other for a while… And I trust you, so.. I think we should take the next step in trusting each other. To bare ourselves and… To get to know each other a bit better you know?” Spidey crossed his arms nervously, hoping he’d gotten his point kind of across, he was never good at this kind of thing, and he rather liked the idea of knowing what his friend looked like. He’d heard horror stories but from what he’d seen when they ate together it wasn’t repulsing, yeah the scars were there but Peter was concerned with how utterly painful they looked.
Deadpool froze in shock, his innocent little baby boy, wanted to see that? “You mean.. you wanna see it? Are you sure baby boy? Cause I didn’t think you would want to…”
‘Why am I questioning this?’
(Because we thought he was innocent)
[Obviously not as innocent as we thought]
(I definitely want to see that ass wriggling on our-)
‘THANK YOU FOR THAT IMAGING YELLOW’
Peter frowned at Deadpool’s answer “Of course I want to see it. Didn’t you see this coming? I mean we’re friends and you’ve saved my life so… Are you okay with it?”
“I am more than okay with this. Let’s do it. Do you want to do it on the roof though? It’s a bit breezy up here. Not exactly the best setting for my uh, assets. Unless you’re into that.”
Spiderman shook his head. “No. Come on, I might as well take you back to my place, not like it’ll matter after I show you anyways.”
(He’s going to show us his penis!)
[This seems strange. Why would he want to show us his dick? And how would we be able to tell where his apartment is by his penis anyway? Is it that big?]
(Don’t question gifts from the gods!)
“Would you two shut the fuck up?” Deadpool muttered as they approached an apartment with a window that faced a brick wall. “Stellar view you’ve got here.” He commented looking around as he took in where he was and whether he would really be able to identify Spiderman by his penis and what would cause him to do so.
(Maybe it’s hulk sized!)
[He runs around in spandex how would we not have noticed this?]
‘I doubt it’s hulk sized’ Deadpool pondered, ‘but if it was… Holy shit! How could we miss that!’
‘Okay’ Peter thought to himself, ‘No turning back now.’ He felt surprisingly good considering he was about to show the best mercenary in world his secret identity. He trusted him. That’s all he needed to remember.
“Okay,” Peter said startling the older man out of his scrutiny of his surroundings. “Are you ready?”
Deadpool smiled through his mask, “I was born ready for this, been dreaming of it since I saw you sweet, round-“
“Okay” Peter interrupted. “On the count of three. One. Two. Three.” At the same time Peter went for his mask and Wade went for his crotch. Both of them froze.
“What are you doing?” Peter asked staring wide eyed at Deadpool’s hands on his junk.
“I’m baring myself!”
“That’s not what I meant!” Peter took a step back in shock. “I meant to show each other our faces! Why would I- when did you get-“ He cut himself off blushing horribly. “I think there was a miscommunication.”
Deadpool had gone suspiciously still, “You want… to see… my face? A-and you trust me with yours? You were going to give us your secret identity? You trust me?”
Peter’s face was in his hands, “Yeah” His response was muffled. “I just thought… You know.. I mean… I trust you. And I wanted to share this with you.”
“O-oh.”
“Yeah.”
There was an awkward silence.
“Well let me tell you Spidey! You would not want to see this! I mean I’m hot and all, but I’m no Ryan Reynolds! Think pepperoni pizza. Or that like, an avocado had hate sex with an older more gross avocado.” Deadpool tried to lighten the mood.
Peter stared at him, “I’ve heard,” he started hesitantly, “but I still want to see for myself. If that’s okay?”
Deadpool hesitated. He did trust him. But did he trust him that much?
(Does he really want to see us?)
[We’re kind of disgusting]
“I trust him,” Deadpool muttered.
(I trust him I guess)
[Just one more person who will be grossed out. Go for it]
“Are you sure? I bet my penis will give a much better show.” Deadpool joked weakly.
“I’m sure. I’ll take mine off to, okay?” They both reached up and took their masks off and paused, taking each other in.
‘Oh no he’s hot.’
(He’s even smiling! Like he’s proud of us!)
[He hasn’t run screaming yet. Good sign]
Peter took Deadpool in. Yeah the scars were there. But he had a good jawline. And he had nice eyes.
‘He’s hot. Shit.’
“So. My name is Peter Parker. What’s yours?” Peter stepped closer.
“I’m uh. Wade Wilson. We both have double letter intials! And you haven’t run screaming yet.” Wade swallowed as Peter stepped closer, into his bubble. “You are also in my bubble. Not that I mind… But if you didn’t want to see my penis you might want to back up. He wants to get acquainted.”
Peter laughed and blushed. “Well you know, I usually don't meet the penis until at least the third date. Do you maybe- would you like to-?”
“Yes,” Wade replied without hesitation. “Yes I would like to and please let this not be a joke. I would cry. A lot. Like Alice in wonderland flood a lot.”
Peter stepped closer so they were standing chest to chest. More like face to chest.
(He’s so cute! And short!)
[I approve. Let’s do it.]
“It’s not a prank or a joke, I wouldn't do that,”
The taller of the two took a deep breathe in,
“Alright then. I trust you. I am going to kiss you now and we can plan our date and it will have tacos and burritos. We are also getting to the third date as soon as possible.”
Wade bent down and kissed Peter. Gently moving his lips when the other responded. They broke apart a few moments later.
Peter grinned and tugged his now proclaimed boyfriend to his level. “So, now that we've cleared that up. Any other misunderstandings I should worry about?”
Deadpool thought for a moment before grinning mischievously. “Just one. But that's going to have to wait for the third date.”