Archive of Our Own

“What are you doing?” 

Wylan nearly jumped out of his skin, “Ghezen’s grand ledgers!” He placed a hand over his chest, feeling his pounding heartbeat slowly returning to normal, “How are you always awake!” 

The door to Kaz’s office was open, is always open now at Wylan's request. He’s sitting there, doing work by candlelight, “What are you doing?” He asks, again. 

Wylan adjusted the strap of his bag where it sits on his shoulder, “I have a council meeting.” 

Kaz isn’t even suspicious, he just sounds like he’s humoring him, “This early? Without Jesper?”

“I wanted to drop off my bag and make sure no one was poking around my office if you-“

He doesn’t even look up from his work, “You got caught, Wylan. Give it up.” 

Wylan sighed and walked into the office, pulling a seat up beside Kaz, “I just wanted to go for a walk by myself; before it gets too bad. Before I can't. How'd you know I was leaving?” 

“Change of scent woke me up. Don’t know how it didn’t wake up anyone else, honestly. Inej is a pretty light sleeper.”

Wylan is stunned for a moment. He often forgets about how little information Kaz knows about his own designation. It's a little frightening, actually. Kaz doesn’t even seem to grasp the basics of his own body. 

Once he asked what the blocked out sections were in his agenda book, “If they’re the black marks every four months it’s my heat.” Wylan said. 

Kaz had frowned, “Every four months?” 

“Yes.” Wylan hesitantly added, “Are yours not?” 

He responded a little too quickly, “I’m busy, I couldn’t be bothered to keep track of that shit.” 

Now, he tries to move on before Kaz can get prickly about his lack of knowledge, “You would be the only one to know early. We have different senses than the others.” 

“Is that just a pack thing?” Kaz asked.

Wylan shook his head. 

He turned back to his work, “Then you aren’t going out by yourself.” 

“Kaz!” 

“It’s too dangerous.”

Wylan leaned in closer, “If I spend the next two weeks not being able to leave this house I’ll start tearing the walls down with my teeth.” 

“Of course you can leave the house. You just can’t go alone.” Kaz was always like this; overprotective of Wylan even when he’s admitted that the dangers of the barrel are less of a concern in the upper districts. 

Wylan just wishes he knew why. Kaz refused to tell him. He refused to tell any of them. Wylan had asked. 

He’s pretty sure Inej lied when he asked, though. Kaz didn’t keep many secrets from her. He couldn’t when she was the one who gathered secrets for him. 

Wylan knows the barrel is dangerous for omegas. He knows it’s so dangerous Kaz won’t even threaten him with knowing the realities of it. The lack of knowledge eats at him, corrodes him. 

What has Kaz seen? What has he gone through? 

Wylan has taken a knife and reopened every fucking scar he’s ever gotten and showed them off to Kaz. His suffering has always been available upon request. Anything he had to do to ensure the team wouldn’t be hindered by any stupid shit from his past. 

Kaz doesn’t have to tell him. That’s why Wylan has never really asked, but it seems unfair that Kaz wants him to abide by rules with no explanation of their significance. 

“How is it dangerous?” 

“Excuse me?” 

Wylan speaks through grit teeth, “I’m going on a walk. Through the Geldin district. How is that dangerous?” 

“You’re going on a walk through the city at night in preheat. Use your head, merchling” 

Wylan growled, “Fine, I’ll wait till morning. Then, I’m going on a walk.” He stomped out before Kaz could argue with him. 

There is always something rotten in him right before his heat. It's always been there as far back as he has had them; there has been this period of time where he finds himself particularly unpleasant. Wylan is unsure if it is something biological or mental. If the feeling of impending restriction infuriates him because he is already in an emotionally sensitive state or because it is just by its nature agitating to be out of commission for a week. 

One of the other councilman’s children, Aaliya, once told him it was because he was a “half-assed runner.” 

“You want to do something but you’re so scrawny there isn’t much for you to do, huh?” She’d said in hushed tones during a banquet when they were fourteen, poking him harshly in the side as she did, “You’ve got a block in you, tops.” 

He never could figure out if Aaliya was his friend or a particularly incompetent bully.

She came in handy during the job that got rid of his father…

No, he still isn’t certain if she’s a friend or not.

Not that he’s much nicer during his heat. He’s just too tired to act on it. 

Wylan is reminded of that time he nipped at Jesper's hand for daring to try and feed him during his last heat. 

He’s too tired to act on most of it. In his defense, he told Jesper he was not hungry. 

Wylan trudges out to the back garden, taking a seat on the bench as he watches the lavender hues of morning light spread across the sky. 

The thing that stops him from leaving is not due to any authority Kaz has over him. There is no one left on the earth who truly has authority over him. 

It was some soft part of him that cannot stand breaking Kaz’s trust, making him worry any further, there is too much on his shoulders already. 

He has set his terms, he knows Kaz will not break them, nor will Wylan go back on his word. Once the sun rises over the horizon he will go for his walk, maybe grab some coffee at the little shop a few blocks away from the exchange. That would be nice, it might settle him. 

Alys will want to see him. She will want to provide him with nesting materials to lessen the discomfort. Wylan misses her. It is hard to have her over without putting Kaz’s secret at risk, so he mostly visits her and Adem off in the countryside, when he can find the time. 

She has an apartment in the city she stays in occasionally, on vacation or during flower season. She seems to understand, without having to be told, that she cannot be given lodging in the Van Eck Estate. Or the thought never managed to cross her mind. It is often a gamble with Alys if she is greatly perceptive or blessedly airheaded. When she stays in the city she will leave Plumje with them, sometimes for several days. He understands, they had a beautiful nursery already prepared in the mansion that she did not have in her apartment. 

Plus, she and Adem so rarely have time alone, since Kaz scared her off of live-in nannies. 

Alys has no pack, most well-off omegan children do not. She hasn’t told him directly but Wylan assumes her parents sheltered her from creating any communal bonds for the sake of her future spouse’s convenience. 

Alys was a silly, pious girl, he wonders if she even knows that she is not the only one who has felt that emptiness. The feeling of something missing. She wouldn’t have ever questioned it aloud if she did. 

After the death of his father they’d taken to calling themselves siblings. The distastefulness of a Ghezen-blessed man marrying a girl no more than a year his own heir’s senior was gratefully forgotten by high society. The origins of the child on her hip, taboo and tragic given the death of the father, who was so shamed by the time of his death his name need not be brought up. 

Gossips are gossips but even they cannot seem to find much to quarrel with regarding Alys. 

Wylan is so grateful for it. Even if she does not truly understand the horrifying treatment she has already endured, he hopes she will never endure misfortune again. 

His sister. It is nice to have a sister. 

There is nothing more boring, and simultaneously grating, than a merchant council meeting on a Monday. The younger members (most he knew as rude teens and rude teens they still behave in similar ways to) poke at him. They tell him how lovely the service was and how they did not get the pleasure of seeing him or his pack at church. Jesper must see the agitation already brewing beneath the surface of him and covers, “Our head alpha has conflicting business on Monday’s, but he ensures we can adequately do our worship at home to our heart’s content.” Wylan’s well-worn lie comes out sounding more like a threat from Jesper. 

It is no secret that Jesper is a member of the Dregs

The reality of who their head alpha would be is brought to the front of their minds easier when it comes from his mouth than Wylan’s. It helps that Jesper’s sleeves are rolled up to the elbows, the crow and cup flashing at their botherers as he ushers Wylan to his seat. 

“They want us at that fucking church so bad I’ll drag the whole crew in, see if that riot finally shuts them up.” Jesper grumbles darkly to himself, “Matty will ask so many questions during the service they’ll have to start a whole new religion just to answer them.” 

Wylan places his hand on Jesper’s angrily bouncing leg, “Darling, they’d have to evacuate the church from the number of members who faint in fright at the sight of Dirtyhands walking through those doors. We wouldn’t even make it to the service.” 

Jesper laughs, “Yea, saints-know Inej probably found enough of all their secrets, make them keel over just at the sight of him.” 

“It’s just some juvenile badgering, don’t let it get to you.” Wylan says, even as he is allowing it to get to him. 

The slowly growing reality that he may have to start attending services again, most-likely alone, in order to keep up appearances at the council was a thought he had been avoiding. He didn’t need any more eyes on him then he already had. He is not the first omegan councilor, but he is the only one currently on the merchants council. They are only permitted in the case that no other viable heirs were available at the time of retirement or death of the previous council member. Jan Van Eck had no siblings, and any family he did have died when Wylan was young of the Queen Lady’s plague. 

Kaz is already scheming about Plumje’s designation. Wylan was aware that even young alpha children were worrying when it came to lines of succession, but Plumje will not be eligible to inherit his position until she is sixteen. 

“Ambition is not something that can be suppressed by age alone” Kaz muttered, scribbling in those notebooks of his, “I know that well enough.” 

They need to get him a hobby. 

“You zoned out on me. Please tell me you’re thinking about something more interesting than what I’m having to listen to right now.” Jesper whispered to him. 

“Kaz is already planning a way to keep Plumje from taking my position on the council.” Wylan whispered back. 

“The infant?” 

“Yes.” 

Jesper sighed, “Matthias bakes, do you think Kaz would try baking? We need to get him a hobby.” 

Wylan shook his head, “I’ve never seen Kaz in the kitchen but something tells me if he tried to cook anything the results would be more stressful than letting him scheme against babies.” 

Jesper nodded, “I’ll reframe my question. Do you think Kaz would try watching Matthias bake? Could be fun.” 

Wylan put a hand over his mouth to cover his laugh, “Yes, and now they can double the amount of packmates I have terrifying my kitchen staff on the weekends.” 

Jesper had to bite his lip, covering his own laugh. 

There is a world in which Kaz’s resolve snaps. A world where he can no longer be the person he has become for them, the better person he has pulled from what is left of his soul and built back up in the same way he remodeled the Slat. Wylan will push without asking and seek to understand the darkness of a world that was not made to accommodate him and Kaz will do what has to be done to stop him, to keep him safe.  

It is a prospect that fills Kaz with dread. He hears his own voice in his mind, knows exactly what he would say to scare Wylan off from the topic forever. 

It would scare Wylan, and he is making a concerted effort to no longer scare the people he cares about, even if it is a more efficient way to ensure their safety. The fact that it may frighten Wylan is not the main reason he fears his own temper in the situation. 

Kaz doesn’t want to live in a world where anyone else has to know and live in the world he must live in. 

And he knows how little that kind of thinking actually saves anyone. Not having information is always a weakness. Purposefully keeping a fact of the world from his partners is him making a choice to accept the likelihood that missing information would endanger them in the future. Some part of him, still, cannot release the idea that this is his burden to bear alone. He can protect them from it and they never need to know that it was ever a threat in the first place. They need not lose sleep or time worrying about Kaz’s nightmare if he never wakes them to share its horrors.

Kaz has rid the Silver Six of any trace of the previously distasteful business dealings within its walls. He never needs to step foot in a wretched basement or attic where eyes follow him and shine from the dark, again. 

He isn’t going to drag Wylan into its depths, if even for his own sake

When Kaz arrives back at the Geldstraat house there is a pink ribbon fluttering in one of the upper windows. 

Ah, Alys is visiting.

Kaz braced himself before walking inside. 

Wylan said it was rude if he didn’t greet Alys when she visited. Given how little he and Alys enjoyed each other’s company, Kaz thought it was pretty gracious to avoid her at all costs, but he wasn’t going to argue with Wylan if he could help it. 

He’s trying not to argue with Wylan if he can help it. 

Kaz stood in the doorway to the drawing room, taking a moment to get an idea of what he was walking into.

Alys was on one of the sofas dressed in an ornate lilac dress. The collar around her neck was thin and white if her hair wasn’t pulled up into some complicated structure he wouldn’t be able to see that her laces match that same gentle lilac. 

Her child is in Wylan's arms, dressed in a soft pink nightgown and cap. 

Wylan turns, “Oh, there you are!” He brightens, “Come in! Look at Plumje she’s getting so big!”  

Kaz walks over, now that he can see past the back of the couch he notices a large stack of blankets sitting next to Wylan's feet, a single deep red housecoat with golden laurel leaves embroidered at the neck of it, placed on top of the stack.  

If Kaz was more emotive he would’ve frowned at the sight. Wylan doesn’t like the Van Eck crest anymore than he cares for the man it represented for decades before he took over. 

He has to trust that Alys isn’t being malicious, merely stupid. 

Though, she’s tricked him before on that front. 

“She certainly is.” Kaz said, taking his seat next to Wylan on the sofa, “How old is she?” 

“Eight months” Alys and Wylan respond together, sharing bright smiles with each other when they realize it. 

Now that she’s spoken he’s forced to acknowledge her, “Miss Alys.” 

“Mr. Brekker. How was the exchange?” 

Alys knows he is not a mercher. Kaz is fairly certain she knows his actual job and all that it entails. She just refuses to acknowledge it, “Busy.” 

She smiles, “Isn’t it always?” The conversation could stop there and they’d lapse into a silence, but Kaz isn’t that lucky, “Your Matthias brought in cake earlier!”  She exclaimed, “Oh, it was absolutely delightful. He offered to watch Plumje while we talked, but I don’t think anyone’s going to be able to take her from Wy’s arms for the foreseeable future.” 

“She’s sleeping.” Wylan said fake-sternly, holding the baby a little tighter, “We’ve been so busy lately I’ve hardly gotten to see her.” 

Kaz hears the subtle tones of insecurity there, “She’s not going to forget who you are, gem.” 

“Not if I have any say in it.” Alys reassured, “But what I meant to say, was that I adore him. Where did you find him? I’d like one as well.” She joked.

Wylan sent him a look. Don’t answer that. 

“Sadly, I think he was the last one left.” Kaz says. 

Alys snapped her fingers, “Always get the perfect ones don’t you?” She says it to Kaz but he doesn’t think she particularly wants his answer because her attention shifts instantly back to Wylan, “Your pack is lovely, dear. Every single one of them. I’m so proud of the family you’ve built.” 

Whatever look that is shared between them does not match what she said. 

Wylan turns to him, “Can you bring Alys’ gifts to our room for me?” 

He’s asking Kaz to leave. Temporarily leave, but leave. 

Kaz hesitates, but he trusts Wylan. He grabs the stack of blankets and leaves. 

He lingers around the corner, waits. 

“I did mean it.” She says 

“I know.” Wylan replies. 

There’s a beat of silence. 

“He frightens me.” 

“Kaz frightens plenty of people. It’s not just you.” 

Her voice is so small he can barely hear it, “Does he scare you?” 

“…He tries not to anymore.” 

“Will he hurt you?”

Wylan laughs, “Alys, I don’t think he’s capable of it.”

“So, how are you feeling?” Nina asks, cutting into her waffles. She passes the syrup to Wylan. 

Wylan took it, pouring syrup onto his own waffles and sausage, “Pick a different question.” 

Nina laughed, “How was the council meeting yesterday?” 

Wylan had refused to answer that at the dinner table last night, clearly she remembered, “Boring and annoying. Jesper had to fend off some of the younger members who wouldn’t leave me be about church attendance.” Adding, “It was fine, just frustrating.” when a little frown darkened Nina’s face. 

“I don’t like it; that they bug you like that.” She said, “Don’t they have something better to do?” 

“The rich have nothing better to do than make up new reasons to judge each other. They’re a perpetually bothersome group.” He mumbled, cutting into a sausage. 

“Blasphemous.” Nina comments lightly. 

“If Ghezen has a problem with my blasphemous thoughts he should’ve kept me down in the Slat when he had the chance.” Wylan said with a shrug. 

Nina giggled, “Any plans for today?” 

“Inej and I are going to the outdoor market for some supplies later. I’m running low on some of my compounds in the lab and I need to replace my goggles soon. The strap is starting to fray on the pair I got for the portrait job.” 

“Can’t you just replace the strap on them?” She asks 

“I could but I’d rather pour an unknown chemical mixture in my eyes than deal with how many times I’d prick my finger sewing on a new one. I was never good at it. It’s just easier to replace them. Do you have any plans?” 

“I have to go up to the government district to meet up with a friend. We’re going to get some lunch and plan out my next trip to Ravka. I was thinking of going in the summer, but I still need to check and make sure that works with everyone else’s schedules.” Nina cut some more pieces off of her waffle, “How is Alys? I saw she was visiting yesterday, and didn't want to intrude.”

Wylan shook his head, fond and smiling, “You can say you were avoiding her, it was pretty obvious.”
Nina pouts, “She asks so many questions.” 

“She’s curious!” 

“She acts like stadwatch.”

Wylan laughed, “She doesn’t know any of you that well, or anything at all really. You know that. She’s harmless.”

“If she was harmless we wouldn’t have kicked her out of the house.” Nina muttered into her coffee cup. 

“Alys chose to go live in the country house.” 

“She sure did, after Brekker got a hold of her.” 

Wylan made a conscious effort to avoid thinking about the specifics of what Kaz mostly likely (definitely) had to do in order to ensure Wylan was the inheritor of a majority of his father’s wealth as much as possible, “Careful, you’re getting dangerously close to agreeing with Kaz’s judgement on something.” He teases.

Nina smiles, “Ugh, don’t you dare tell him or his head will pop.” 

 They focused more on eating, going quiet for a few minutes, only passing quick jokes and stories as they ate. 

Once her waffles and fruit were gone Nina leaned back and smiled at him, “So? How are you feeling?”
Wylan sighed, “Better than I was, but it’s only going to get worse.” 

“Well, you sure know how to make a girl feel useful.” She jokes, “I’m glad I could make it better, at least for a little.”

Time with Inej was always relaxing. 

“Alys certainly has knows how to do pre-heat gifts, doesn’t she?” She teases as they walk through the market. 

Wylan felt his face heat in embarrassment, “A bit of dramatics is tradition when a family member has a new pack…I hope that’s what all that was about, at least. The dressing gown is hers and everything else is new, so I’m hoping that it’ll be smaller things like that in the future.”

“I think it's sweet. Are we supposed to get you gifts? Jesper was asking and I wasn’t sure.” 

“It’s usually more of a family thing- not that I’d be upset about getting gifts! It’s just-” 

Inej laughed, “Okay, okay, understood.” 

Wylan smiled, “Was Jesper freaking out about fucking up during my last heat?” 

She nodded, “He sure was. He also said you bit him and I quote,” Inej made air quotes with her fingers, “‘not even in the fun way.’” 

“I told him I wasn’t hungry!” Wylan defended.

“Jesper’s fault for putting his hand near your mouth.” She agreed with faux seriousness, nodding along in agreement. 

They walked around the market, sharing some gentle, pleasant, time together. Inej was filling their basket with fresh fruit (as well as some raisins and brandy for Nina now that the weather’s getting colder.) Wylan was perhaps buying a few too many presents for his pack, but every time he tried to walk away from each perfect opportunity to show his partners how much he cared and appreciated them he felt tears welling up in his eyes. 

Inej had to cheer him up with cherry hand pies when he found a little white wolf stuffed animal for children because he started crying about how much Matthias would love it. 

They also bought the little wolf, it was clutched in Wylan’s other hand. 

“What’s the Fjerdan word for precious? I want to name it precious.” Wylan asked, still sounding a bit weepy. He took another bite of his pie to cover for it. 

“I don’t know, Wy. We’ll have to ask Ni-” Inej went still, stared at something beyond him, sighed, “Really should’ve turned around.” She muttered to herself.

Inej redirected her attention to him, “Come with me. You’re going to be okay.” 

Wylan agreed instantly, “Okay.” 

She led him through the crowd to a stall with very few people around it. Inej stopped in front of a boy leaning up against a tree near the stall, “You’re following us.” 

He looked a little younger than them, and he clearly knew Inej. He was avoiding her eyes like he was in trouble, “Nuh uh.”

Wylan looked at him a little closer, vaguely recognizable. A newer member of the dregs, maybe. 

“You are, and now you’re going to tell me why.” Inej put her hands on her hips, glaring the kid down. 

She didn’t even have to pull a knife out, he broke from the threatening glare alone, “Boss told me to keep an eye until you both get back to the councilman’s house.” 

“You’ve been dismissed.” Inej said. 

“I- I don’t think you can do that?” His voice shook too much, definitely new. 

“I can, and I did. Go.” 

He fled. 

Inej linked arms with Wylan and turned them around to get back to their market trip. 

“I’m going to kill him.” Wylan mumbled, reaching the end of his rope with Kaz’s hovering nonsense this week. 

“Not if I get to him first.” Inej said, the growl she didn’t manage to completely mask in her tone surprising him. 

It hadn’t occurred to him that he might not be the only one Kaz was agitating lately. 

They finished their market trip, both the baskets they brought, along with the third one they had to buy for the overflow, were filled to bursting. It was a nice day. Wylan had so many presents to give out. 

When they arrived home they helped each other put everything away, talking as they did so. 

“Is there anything you’re going to need for your heat? Or anything that you want that I should pick up before it starts?” She asks, refilling the fruit bowl in the music room as he hides some of the gifts. 

“No, I think I have everything I’ll need.” He replies, “Thank you, though. It’s nice of you to ask.” 

Inej smiles, “I want you to be comfortable, you don’t have to thank me for that.” 

Once they were done, Wylan decided he would spend some time in the music room to relax. Inej kissed his cheek and said, “Alright, I’m going to go talk with Kaz.” 

She left, once the door shut with a soft click he heard Inej, louder than he’s ever heard her before, shout, “Kaz!” followed by some uncharacteristically aggressive stomping.

It was nice to know that the situation was being handled. Maybe she’d manage to knock some sense into him. 

He hears the soft creak of the basement door. Wylan growls. 

There’s someone in his lab. 

“What business?” He calls, refusing to turn away from his work to address whoever decided to bother him. 

“It’s just me.” A gentle, deep voice, pine and ice, “I was looking all over for you.” 

The growl softens and disappears, but Wylan still feels a tension in his shoulders that doesn’t go away, “Well, you found me.” He replies dryly 

Matthias sat on one of the stools, looking over Wylan's work with the vague eye of someone who is enjoying the atmosphere more than truly understanding it, “There’s a storm coming in. It got dark rather quickly.” 

“Did it?” He made the idle conversation, tried his best to be pleasant and not snap for no reason. 

“Kaz was worried you were out on your own. You usually aren’t down here all day.” 

He needed to be in his own space. Wylan loved that their room was theirs and smelled like them, but he needed to be someplace that was just his for a little, “The selling point when it comes to being very wealthy is the fact that you’ll have less to worry about, I think. Do you think anyone has told him that recently? He seems to be finding much to worry about that he has no need to.” Wylan muttered bitterly, “Like I can’t handle myself.” 

“Have you told him how that makes you feel?” 

“He knows exactly what he’s doing.” Wylan says. Matthias stands, a hand briefly touches Wylan’s waist. He doesn’t pull away, “Just don’t hang on me in a way that restricts my movement.” Throwing himself into his work helped him cope with the symptoms, too. If he was too busy with his lab he couldn’t think about everything going on with his body, or how his emotions felt like they were on a hair trigger. 

Matthias nodded in the corner of Wylan's vision, and wrapped him in a hug, “Yes, but I think he’s more likely to change it if you tell him.” Wylan’s body relaxed in Matthias’ arms. Of course it did. “And I won’t pretend to know why he does anything. It would be rather inconvenient for him if he was trying to upset you on purpose, particularly because of how prickly you can get. Don’t you think?” 

“I’m capable of managing myself.” Wylan mumbled.

“I know. We all do.”

He growled, unhappy with the topic, and his shitty lab pen, “Well I wish we all acted like it.” 

“Do you want me to talk to him?” Matthias asked.

Wylan sighed, “No, I can do it. I’m going to wait until after my heat is over, though. Emotions are running too high to have a talk like that with Kaz. It wouldn’t be fair.” 

“I’ll trust you on whatever you think is best. If tomorrow comes and you decide you want me to do it instead, I’m always here.” 

“Thank you, dear.” 

Matthias kissed the top of his head, “Of course. 

Matthias convinced him to go upstairs for dinner. 

“I’m just going to tidy up the bedroom while we wait for it to be finished.” He said, not quite ready to face everyone else, “I’ll meet you there.”
“Alright.” Matthias said. They shared a quick kiss, and he continued one way down the hall while Wylan went the other way. 

Their room wasn’t dirty. 

It was just...a little messy. Cluttered. Disorganized. 

They all had their own individual rooms, logically, that is where all of their clothes and personal items should be kept and the room they all shared would just be for things they could all share. That’s what they agreed on. 

Wylan doesn’t know what beautiful, well-disciplined, fantasy they thought they lived in. 

He collected everyone’s individual items into piles, starting with Nina, because she was the worst perpetrator of leaving her things all around the room. Wylan picked up dresses, scarves, shoes, and hats. Her warm red coat was placed in its own spot on the bed while the rest was thrown onto a spot Wylan mentally designated near the window. 

Next was Jesper, waistcoats, pants, jewelry, and a few sets of mismatched shoes paired together around the room with their matching mismatched socks inside of them like he was trying to clean then got distracted. Wylan threw one of the ties Jesper will sometimes throw on when they go to Merchant Council meetings, though he can’t remember when he wore that particular one last, onto the bed with Nina’s coat. 

Matthias leaves notes to himself, and he leaves them all around the damn house, but at least his clothes make it to the hamper. Most of them, at least. Wylan jokes to himself as he throws the sweater Matthias was wearing the day before onto the pile on the bed. The books all around the room are either his or Inej’s and he doesn’t feel like trying to figure out which are which, so he piles them on a nightstand. Matthias’ many notes are shuffled into a stack and placed in the drawer.

There’s a knock on the door, “Councilman Van Eck?” 

Wylan startles, “Yes?” 

It’s Leanna, one of the staff members for the house, “Dinner is being served,” she says, “Would you like to be brought a tray?” 

Wylan looks around the room. 

He can join them in a few minutes, “No, please tell them I’ll be right down. Thank you, Leanna.” 

“Of course.” 

For the most part, the things Inej leaves around the room don’t need to be moved. They’re decorative knick-knacks and blankets that should be in the guest rooms that she’s stolen for herself because she runs cold. Wylan still neatens them up so that the room is orderly. He gathers the few bits of clothes and places them in a pile, throws one of her cardigans onto the bed, and puts her slippers near the door. 

The only proof that Kaz has ever been inside their shared bedroom is a hat on the vanity (that Wylan is 90% certain is only there because Nina stole it) and a coat hung on one of the bed posts. The coat is added to the bed pile. Wylan is sure there are more things Kaz has brought into the room all around him, but the problem with that is that they’re not Kaz’s things. They’re matchbooks, and rings, and half-crumpled letters, and salt-water taffy, and a million other things that go from other peoples’ pockets into his because he gets bored waiting in line, or he didn’t like someone’s face, or their voice, or how they spoke to their child.

Wylan knows that if he were to look in the nightstand he would see Kaz’s black modesty collar neatly laid next to his own. He considers taking it and adding it to the pile as well. What could Kaz even do to stop him? He’s not here.

“Are you going to come down and eat anytime soon?” 

Wylan spins to face the new presence. 

It's Nina, a frowning Kaz behind her, “Matthias has started fussing about you going hungry.” 

“I was just tidying up a bit, lost track of time.” He says fidgeting with the cuff of his shirt. Wylan didn’t want to leave. He was almost done!

“Can I take Inej’s things back to her room?” Kaz asked, his voice oddly soft, cautious.

“Yes, I’m done with them. You don’t think she’ll mind?” He asks. 

“No. If she does, it was my fault anyway.” Kaz gathers the small pile into his one arm. Nina pushes the door fully open so that he can get through. 

“I’ll get mine, too.” She says trying to collect her pile into her arms, but not completely successful considering how much it is.

Wylan laughs, “Let me help.” 

“Thank you so much, kind sir.” Nina says with a giggle as he collects the other half of her things. 

As they walk Nina starts singing a silly, slightly raunchy, drinking song and he joins in. They’re laughing when they toss all of her things onto the rarely used bed in her room. They walk back arm in arm.

Kaz is waiting for them when they get back, “Nina, help me with Jesper’s things.” 

Nina pulls away from him. They still sing together until the song is finished just as she’s walking out with Kaz. 

When they return Wylan has already collected all of his own things and dropped them off in his room. 

“Does it feel done?” Kaz asked. 

Wylan nods, “Yes. I think I’d like some dinner now.” 

Nina links arms with him again, “Wonderful! Let’s go.” 

Jesper wakes him as gently as he can, “Hey love, we have to go get some breakfast.” 

Wylan pulls the blanket up over his head. 

He tugs the blanket from his grip, “It’s time to get up, no getting out of it.” 

“I don’t want to. Have it sent up.” Wylan says, trying to pull the blanket back from Jesper. 

“Everyone is going to miss you at the table, you can go back to sleep once you have some food in you.” Jesper holds a hand out, Wylan takes it, letting Jesper ease him out of bed. 

Wylan clings to him, which is a little odd, but they walk together out of the room and down the hall. 

As they passed by his office, Kaz made a sharp sound. Jesper stopped instantly, Wylan bumping a little into him at the suddenness of it. 

“What is he doing out of bed?” 

“We’re getting breakfast? Why?” Jesper didn’t know why Kaz wasn’t at breakfast and instead was hiding out in his office so that he could spook people as they walked by.

“It can be brought to the room.” Kaz says 

“Did you two have something planned?” Jesper asks, baffled. 

Kaz sighs and sets his files down, he stands and walks over, “Do you want to go back to our room?” He asks Wylan, voice impossibly soft. 

Wylan nods. 

“Okay, we’ll walk you back.” 

They walk Wylan back to the room. Kaz takes his hand and helps him back into bed, arranging the sheets and blankets atop him, “There you go, gem. Too warm?” 

Wylan shakes his head. 

“Good.”

“Can you- the curtains-” He asks

Kaz nods, “I can pull the curtains, do you want them closed all the way?” 

“Some light, just- I don’t want anyone to be able to see me.” 

“I think that’s perfectly reasonable, gem.” Kaz pulled the curtains closed, letting a strip of light through on each of them while Jesper stared at him dumbfounded, “I’ll bring your breakfast up, are you going to be okay if Jesper and I step out? Or will it hurt?” 

Wylan shook his head, “I’ll be okay. You’re coming back though, right?” 

“Of course I am. My schedule is completely clear today.” 

A soft smile takes over Wylan’s face, though it’s a bit confused at the edges, “Oh. That’s nice.” 

Kaz leaned down and kissed Wylan's head, “We’re going to step out, now. If it hurts, call us back in and we’ll figure it out, okay?” 

Wylan nods. 

Kaz walks away, Jesper follows him out the door. Kaz takes clear pains to make the closing of the door as soundless as possible. 

“Alright, what did I miss?” Jesper asks

Kaz frowned, “Wylan’s heat is tomorrow, did you not notice?”

Jesper shook his head, “Nah boss, think that’s just a you two thing.” 

“He was practically pulling Matthias on top of him in his sleep! How did you not notice?” 

 Jesper smirked, “The one arm that was thrown across him this morning?” 

“That’s not how he typically sleeps.” Kaz says stiffly. “Stop smiling like that.” He turned on his heels and started walking towards the kitchen. 

“You’re being sweet, I can smile all I want.” Jesper said, wrapping an arm around Kaz’s shoulder just to lean his weight on him and be annoying. 

“I’m not sweet.” 

“Oh!” Jesper exclaimed, “Oh he’s not sweet!” 

“Stop it!” Kaz hissed, smacking him lightly in the side.

“Gem, do you need the curtains closed? My love, will you be okay if we leave?” Jesper teased 

Kaz shoved him away and Jesper shoved him back. 

Soon enough they’re wrestling on the floor of the dining room and Jesper can’t stop laughing. 

There are footsteps then a deep voice, “Do you two need to be pulled apart again?” 

“No ‘cause I’m about to fuckin' win!” Kaz shouts, shoving Jesper onto his back.

Matthias crossed his arms, “Whether or not you’re winning has absolutely no bearing on if I pull you apart. It’s too early for this.” 

Jesper kicked a leg over Kaz’s hips, launching himself up and over him, “Got to get the blood pumping, Matty!” 

“Why do you have so many fucking limbs!” Kaz gripes 

Jesper is quick to defend, “I have the average amount of limbs!”

“Why are they so freakishly long!” 

“To win wrestling matches with barrel bastards!” 

“If you want to win, maybe you should gain some muscle first! You scarecrow fuck!” 

“Aw, is someone sad that he’s short?”

Inej walks in, stands next to Matthias, “Huh. Early for this.” She leans forward, “Who’s winning?” 

“I am!” They yelled in unison.

“Yea, that’s what I thought.” She said with a smile, “Did either of you manage to wake Wylan before deciding to scrap on the floor like this?” 

Kaz gets distracted at the mention of Wylan and Jesper takes the opportunity to pin him in a way that will keep him fucking still, “Yield.” 

He frowned, “Fine, get off me.” 

Jesper laughed, “I’m not falling for that again, say it.” 

Kaz stared at him, lips sealed in a thin line. He tested the hold. 

Jesper whistled a bit, just to be an asshole, “Any day now, Kaz.” 

Kaz rolled his eyes and went limp, “I yield.” 

Jesper leaned down and kissed him chaste and quick before getting up and holding out a hand to help Kaz to his feet. Kaz grabbed his cane and took Jespers hand pulling himself up. 

“I need a tray for Wylan, he’s eating in bed today. Can you ask the cooks? They-” Kaz searches for a way to say it that won’t have Inej giving him a look, “seem to prefer I stay out of the kitchen.”

“Of course,” She agrees, eyebrows pulling together in concern, “Is he alright?

“His heat’s starting soon. He’ll be more comfortable in bed for now.” 

“I can take it to him, you sit and eat something. I was worried you’d never come down from that damn office.” Matthias volunteered 

“I told him I would bring him a tray. I can come get breakfast after.” 

Matthias leveled Kaz with a knowing look, “You could, I’m sure that you would be capable of it. However, I am not sure that you will. If you go back up those stairs you’re bringing two trays one for Wylan and one for yourself.” 

Kaz grit his teeth, “Fine, I’ll bring two trays.” 

“And where will your cane go?” Matthias asked. 

Kaz growled at him, irritated and finished with the badgering. 

“Problem?” 

“You clearly have a solution in mind. Why don’t you share?” Kaz said.

“Simple,” Matthias said, pleasant as ever, “You bring a tray for Wylan, I bring a tray for you, and I’ll leave it in our room for you to eat once you have finished pacing the halls like a nervous German Shepherd.” 

“Says the former child soldier who does perimeter checks when he can’t find a way to keep his fat hands busy.” Kaz grumbled. 

“Takes one to know one, dejmin. I’ll go get the trays.” 

Someone is banging on the door to his room. 

Wylan is curled into a ball beneath the bed. He is surrounded by his bedding that he pulled down to protect and hide him. 

“Open this door!” 

Wylan curls tighter into himself, nails digging into the sleeves of his shirt, biting his lip to keep any sounds from escaping. He wants to disappear. He wants to be left alone. 

It will only be worse if he stays under the bed. 

He cannot possibly leave. 

Wylan jolts awake, at the sound of a door being opened. He blinks blearily in the direction of the door as he tries to get a handle on his breathing. 

It’s just Matthias and Kaz. 

Matthias sets his tray down and runs to him. Wylan flinches away. 

He freezes, doesn’t come closer, “Has something happened? Are you alright?” 

Wylan shakes his head. 

“You might want to try one question at a time, there. He doesn’t seem fully aware yet.” Kaz says plainly. He hasn’t stepped past the threshold into the room. 

“What happened?” Matthias asks. 

“Nightmare.” Wylan croaks out. His hands are shaking, Kaz’s outline in the door isn’t helping, “Bad one.” 

Matthias nods in understanding, “I’m sorry. Is there anything I can do to help?” 

Wylan holds his hand out. Matthias takes it. He squeezes, bends his hand so that his wrist rubs against Matthias', releasing both their scents to the room a little stronger. Wylan relaxes, his heart still pounding in his ears, but his mind is clearing. 

Wylan turns to Kaz, “In or out, Brekker. Pick one.” 

Kaz steps in, kicks the door shut behind him. 

It doesn’t slam, thank Ghezen it doesn’t slam. 

Kaz places his tray down as well, he takes the drink from it and turns to Wylan, “I brought you juice. Can I bring it to you?” 

Wylan nods. 

Kaz approaches him slowly, he only comes as close as he has to so that he can pass the glass to Wylan. He takes it, orange juice, “Thank you.” He says. Kaz nods. 

As he drinks the adrenaline ebbs away, leaving him even more tired than he was before he fell back asleep. 

Even so, there is peace when his body remembers where he is, when it seems to realize that time has passed and he is no longer where he was. A warmth settles over his neck and shoulders, a golden sun deep and shining in his chest. He is home, the same home as it has always been, but it is filled with people who love him and who want to see him comfortable and safe. 

Once he calmed down, Matthias brought him the tray with breakfast on it so he could eat in bed. When he stepped out Kaz followed after him. Wylan could vaguely hear their voices from the other side of the door, but nothing he could make out clearly. Then, Kaz came back in, and ate from his own tray at the window bench. 

“How long do you have?” He asks. 

“Not long, tonight or tomorrow before it really starts I think.” 

Kaz nods, “Do you want me to gather all the nesting materials for you after we finish eating, then?” 

Wylan smiled, “If you could, that would be lovely, thank you.” 

Kaz piled the supplies on the floor next to the bed so that Wylan had easy access to them, “And you’re sure you want it in here?” 

Wylan frowned, “It’s our room. Where else would it be?”

“I just wanted to make sure this is where you felt safest.” Wylan glared at him until he continued, “It feels a little open to me, is all.” 

“Kaz, I’m in my own home, in the bedroom I share with the five other most dangerous people I know besides myself. I don’t need to go hole up between the walls like a rat. It’ll be fine.” Wylan threw all the pillows onto the floor next to the other supplies Kaz had brought, “This is where our scent is. This is where I’ll feel safest.” 

“Okay, if that’s what you need.” Kaz conceded, surprisingly quick for him. 

Kaz wasn’t much help in the actual construction of the nest, but that was okay. Wylan doesn’t think he would’ve responded well to another omega touching his nest before it was done anyway. He’s always been very particular, his instincts needing the nest to be flawless. He’d taken hours constructing them before, his mind not capable of moving on until he was certain there was nothing else to add or fix. 

Finally, it’s done. Wylan climbs into the nest, making some minor adjustments and fussing just to ensure it's perfect. 

Then he lies back, tries to relax. 

Kaz is still standing at the end of the bed with his hands at his sides looking like someone lost their young barrel boss in the grocery store. 

Wylan sighed, “What are you doing?” 

Kaz blinked, “Am I supposed to be doing something?” 

“I mean…get in the nest? It’s done.” Wylan felt a spike of fear run down his spine, “Unless there’s something wrong with it! Is there something wrong?” 

Kaz rushes to his side, “No, no, there’s nothing wrong. I just-” Kaz took his hand off of where it was nervously smoothing out one of Matthias’ old sweaters, “I didn’t want to intrude. It’s yours, after all.” 

Oh. Well that’s a little silly. 

“I’ve told you to leave Dirtyhands at the door, Kaz. You don’t have to pull on the alpha act just cause you’re the only one here.” Wylan pulls on Kaz’s hand, urging him in. 

The look on Kaz’s face is almost painfully open. He’s confused. 

Wylan forces a smile that he hopes is convincing, releasing Kaz’s hand, “You’re always allowed in my nest, dear. Take off your shoes and your coat.” 

Kaz does, folding his coat neatly and placing it at the foot of the bed and kicking his shoes beneath it before carefully climbing into the nest and settling in next to Wylan. He pulls Wylan into his arms. Wylan nuzzles his head into Kaz’s neck and closes his eyes.

Wylan lays at the center of his nest, surrounded at all sides by the scents of those that care for him most, in the arms of someone he loves. He is safe, and comfortable. He can feel his heart rate slowing to a comforting beat.

He is loved. He is loved. He is loved.

Kaz is woken up by Wylan shaking his shoulder.

When he opens his eyes, Wylan is sat up, crying and now pulling on his arm, “Can you- I want- Help. Please.” 

Kaz does the first thing he can think of and pulls Wylan in close. Holding his partners has gotten easier, but there’s always that second of apprehension in him even after a year of improvement, the expectation that with this he’ll be drawn back to the Reaper's Barge. 

The waters don’t rise on him. He’s relieved and grateful, he can’t lose himself right now. He has to take care of Wylan. 

Kaz places his good leg between Wylan’s. It’s the fastest thing he can think of to get Wylan through the first wave. It wouldn’t take much and he couldn’t stand Wylan suffering for any longer than he had to. 

Wylan grinds against him, Kaz’s sleep clothes clutched tightly in his fists as he whimpers out, “Thank you…thank you”

When he cums he buries his face in Kaz’s neck and sobs through the aftershocks, then he almost immediately falls back asleep. 

Kaz gives it a few minutes to ensure he’s asleep. He then strips Wylan down, throwing the clothes off the side of the nest to get later.  Kaz gets a washcloth from the side table and cleans him up, Wylan whines in his sleep but doesn’t wake up. He lays the extra towels beneath Wylan, then grabs a thin blanket to cover him up. 

Kaz feels Wylan’s forehead, the fever is barely there. A pretty slow start. That’s good. Hopefully he can sleep through most of it, but if he can’t at least the discomfort won’t be as sudden and intense. 

He keeps his own sleep clothes on for now. His mind tends to get away from him while he sleeps, and waking up to a sweaty body against his own bare skin seems like the perfect way to send him into a half-asleep attack of  nerves. 

Kaz doesn’t know when he falls back asleep. All he knows is that he spent far too long staring up at the ceiling waiting for it to take him, listening to the sound of Wylan’s breath as he sleeps. 

Kaz wakes before Wylan. He is usually the first to wake. 

He checks Wylan’s temperature again, the fever hasn’t progressed much, which he finds odd. There’s no point in questioning a good thing, though. Kaz goes to the bathroom to fill up a basin with water and bring it into the bedroom just in case, anyway. He lets himself be a bit smug about the convenience of having a room with a bathroom connected to it. 

There’s a soft knock at the door. 

Kaz is slow to answer it, not entirely comfortable with the idea of other people being around Wylan when he’s this vulnerable, or with being seen in his sleep clothes with dried slick on the one leg. 

He opens the door a crack, no one is there, but there is a basket of fresh fruit left in front of the door. A note in Inej’s handwriting says, “Careful, he bites.”

Kaz smiled, “Like I didn’t already know that.” 

He brings the basket in, closing the door and locking it behind him as he does. He places the basket on the nightstand, moves the large stack of books onto the floor to make room. 

Then he got back into the nest and watched over Wylan. 

He was safe, of course he was. Kaz was there, and everyone else was in the house. Nothing could get to him. If the fever gets too high they’ll be able to handle it, but it’s not looking like it will go that way. 

Once the sun started streaming in through the curtain, Wylan began to rouse. 

He made a few soft whimpering noises and held his arms out for Kaz. 

Kaz pulled him close, kissing the top of his head as he did. 

“Good morning.” Wylan slurred into his nightshirt. 

“Good morning, gem. Did you sleep well?” 

“Dreamed of Inej wearing that thing you’ve got to fuck me ‘n Jesper.” 

He feels his face flush instantly. His scent…may have spiked a little at the image. Wylan giggles and Kaz squeezes him a little tighter, “Did you do that on purpose?” 

Wylan nodded, “Yea.” 

“Menace.” He scolded, kissing him again. 

Wylan laughed, laying his head back against Kaz’s shoulder, “Did really have that dream though.”

“Oh? Care to share, merchling?” 

He smiles, “hm…maybe later. Feed me.” 

Kaz lets him go so he can leave the nest and go to Inej’s basket, “Demanding as well, huh?”  

“I’m suffering, Kaz.” Wylan whined, “You begrudge an addled man his table manners?” 

Inej practically put a whole picnic spread in the basket, plates, bowls, napkins, cups- Kaz brought cups! He wouldn’t have forgotten! “If you’re still using words like ‘begrudge’ I doubt you’re suffering all that much, and I know for a fact you’re barely warm.” He threw some grapes and strawberries in a bowl and returned to the nest,

“Slow starter, aren’t you?” 

“Depends. Stress hasn’t been too bad lately, I think that’s the only reason I didn’t jump you in your sleep.” Wylan opened his mouth, expectant. 

“I’m slightly concerned that you don’t call what happened last night me getting jumped in my sleep. I’m not feeding you.” 

“My arms will get cold!” Wylan opened his mouth, pointedly wider this time. 

“You can do it yourself.” Kaz held the bowl out to him. 

Wylan closed his mouth, “Then I won’t eat.” 

“You’re hungry aren’t you?” 

Wylan nodded, “Mhm. I’ll starve.” 

Kaz knows, logically, that Wylan is playing him. He isn’t even doing it that well. He wouldn’t actually refuse to eat to the point it came to that. 

But a shot of panic that has his heart in his throat shoots through him at the threat, joke or not. 

He plucks a grape off the bunch.

Wylan makes a happy noise and opens his mouth. 

“Threatening my partner to make me treat you like a prince is ruthless.” Kaz says feeding the grape to him. 

“I’m fine with ruthless.” Wylan says, as he is hand fed grapes while wrapped in blankets. “Whatever works.” 

They got through about half the grapes before Wylan noticed the strawberries and bitched about Kaz withholding the best from him for no good reason. He ate a few strawberries before he was full. Kaz put the bowl on the nightstand. 

When he turned back he noticed something. Small movements under Wylan’s blankets, “Are you touching yourself right now?” 

Wylan flushed, the movements stopped “Maybe.” 

He laughed, “How long have you been doing that?” 

“Don’t laugh at me! I’m in heat!” 

Kaz raised an eyebrow, waited. 

Wylan looked away, “On and off since I woke up.” 

He let his voice drop, reached out to push some of Wylan's hair out of his face, “Do you want something, gem?” 

The little whine from Wylan was so different from his dramatic displays earlier, “You don’t have to tease me.” 

It was so much more fun if he did, though, “Answer the question.” 

“Yes.” 

“Then ask.”

Wylan gave him a flat look, “No. You know what I want.” 

“I don’t think I do, but if you want to continue fucking yourself with your spindly little piano fingers, you’re welcome to. You’ll ask eventually, won’t you? When you start burning up and nothing is enough? I can wait.” 

“You aren’t that patient.” 

“No, I just don’t think it’ll take that long.” 

Wylan leans forward and kisses him. 

Kaz takes over, pushing in closer and prodding Wylan to open his mouth. 

When they pull away Wylan gasps out, “Sick of your smug fucking tone.” 

Kaz laughs, ducking his head down to Wylan's throat, “You’ve always been good at thinking on your feet.” He kisses and mouths at Wylan's neck, light and gentle, nothing close to the pressure Kaz knows he must be craving. 

 Wylan rolls his eyes with a laugh of his own, “One of my many skills.” He says, though the end is a little distorted by his gasp as he continues rocking his hand into himself. 

Kaz always thought heat scent was too sweet, nauseating even. His own was, at least. It gave him a headache once or twice. 

Wylan’s was different. It was a little sweeter than normal, a little much, but it wasn’t unpleasant. Kaz pressed his teeth to the scent glands on the back of Wylan's neck. 

He gasped, “Kaz!” 

“Hm? Bad?” 

 “Good, you just surprised me.” Wylan said, flustered. 

“You smell good.” Kaz mumbles, though he isn’t quite sure why. He pressed his teeth into Wylan’s neck again. He’ll return to teasing him in a moment. 

Wylan’s breath stuttered, “Good- Good to know?” 

He might’ve lost track of time for a bit. Kaz knows that he eventually moved on to the rest of Wylan’s neck, giving up completely on teasing him to instead nip and suck at his neck, listening to the soft noises he made in response. 

“Okay, okay, you- I need you.” Wylan was breathless, shifting around under the blanket trying to get his other arm free “Need you in me, please!” 

“You sure? Sounds to me like you’re giving up early.” He was too coherent to be that desperate just yet. 

Wylan huffed in annoyance, finally getting a free hand out to tug at Kaz’s arm, “I’d rather have you doing something helpful instead of ensuring I can’t wear anything but turtlenecks for the next two months.” 

Kaz lowered his head back down, “It’s getting colder, you’ll be fine.”  He bit down again. 

Wylan moaned, “Kaz, please!” 

Kaz sighed, pulled away again, “I’m busy.” 

“I can’t take it anymore, please. I need you.” 

“Fine, fine” Kaz shifted to get out of the nest and Wylan’s hand shot out to grab his arm. 

“I’m fine! I’m fine! Just- just mock knot it and it’ll be enough.” He still hadn’t stopped pumping his hand into himself, though it looked to be becoming more frustrating than relieving. 

“What?” 

“The hand trick? When you-“ Wylan's face fell, “You don’t know what I’m talking about.” 

“Not a clue” 

Wylan sat up a bit, “Right, just-” Wylan shook his head, like he was resetting himself, “just give me your hand.” Kaz held his hand out and Wylan took it, bending a few of his fingers and moving them into a shape, “This? In me.” 

“Simple enough.” 

Wylan nodded once, “You can’t just stop after, though. The heat will figure out it's not real, plus your hand starts cramping like a bitch. You’re going to have to move it like this.” He twisted Kaz’s hand at the wrist making a kneading motion back and forth. Then, he takes his hand out from himself, pulling the blanket away with it, and says, “I’m open enough, but if you do that on yourself prep first, okay?” 

“I can handle myself, Wy. Lean back.” 

He does, taking Kaz’s other hand in his and lacing them together as he goes down. Kaz reached down and pressed inside of him. Slowly, he bent his fingers and spaced them out the way he’d been shown. 

Wylan groaned, “Good. It’s good.” 

“Should I keep going?” Kaz asked 

“Mhm…” Wylan’s eyes slipped shut, the frantic energy starting to die down. 

“Are you sure? You’re getting quiet on me.” 

“Kaz, If you stop I’ll have your head displayed on the-“ His breath hitched as Kaz’s wrist began to turn, “on the fence of the Church of Barter. Hear that loud enough?” 

Kaz let out a huff of a laugh, “Understood, gem.” 

Whatever you need. 

He ducks his head back down to Wylan’s neck, craving the lightheaded feeling that came over him earlier more than he would ever care to admit, “How do you think it would go, if everyone else was here?” He wondered out loud, twisting his hand and pulling a keen from Wylan as he did.

“I think Nina and Matthias would let the rest of us have our turn with you, keep you busy while they discuss the merits of who gets to knot you first.” Kaz grinned, nipped at Wylan's throat, “Do you think I’d get to go twice? They aren’t here to know I’ve already had my turn.”

 Wylan’s only response is half-moaned pleas, gasps, and whimpers. 

Kaz stays there, sufficiently proud of his method of getting Wylan to stop complaining about nice things (marks or not) until he hears the pleased little noises he’s been making shift in pitch. They go a little higher, a bit more ragged. 

He sits up, presses a little harder, twists and thrusts his hand a little faster. Kaz wants to see the moment Wylan falls apart. 

And it is a wonderful sight when he does. Wylan’s gasps and pleas fall silent, his body goes tight as a bow string, he cries out one final time. 

And then his entire body relaxes, his eyes slip shut and all the muscles in his face go slack.

Kaz doesn’t move a muscle. He isn’t sure how long he needs to keep the mock knot in Wylan for his body to stay sated. He waits, until he is certain Wylan is practically asleep again, and then he slowly pulls his fingers out, wiping them off on one of the towels in the nest. 

Wylan doesn’t complain past a wrinkle in his nose from the oversensitivity. 

Kaz moves to lay next to him. 

A rush of breath is forced out of him from the sudden pain that shoots through his leg as he rolls onto his back at Wylan’s side. It’s over quickly, fading once he’s still and no longer balancing his weight on it. Honestly, it's about as bad as he expected, but it always takes him by surprise.

Wylan starts whimpering and curls into Kaz.

“Oh, hey, hey gem. Are you okay? Did I hurt you?” Kaz looked Wylan over, trying to see if there was anywhere he was trying to guard that may be hurting. 

Wylan whines, “ ‘m sorry.”

Not finding anything, Kaz pulls Wylan closer into his arms, mentally checks that the contact isn’t going to set him off, then holds him tighter “You have nothing to be sorry for, gem. Can you tell me what’s wrong?” 

“Hurt you.” He mumbled into Kaz’s chest.

Kaz huffs, “You didn’t hurt me, my leg hurt me, and it was just for a second. I’ve dealt with worse than that.” 

Wylan whined louder, clutching onto Kaz, “My fault.” 

“You have quite literally been laying there doing nothing, Wylan. It cannot possibly be your fault.” Kaz said, flat as anything. 

The change in tone seemed to catch Wylan's attention better. He looked up at Kaz quizzically. 

Kaz leaned down to kiss him soft and quick on the lips, “I’m okay. You’re okay. Why don’t you close your eyes for a little?” 

“You’re not hurt?” 

“I’m always hurting, but I’m not hurt.” There was no point in lying to him, “It’s not your fault. Now, close your eyes for me.”

Wylan drifts off quickly after that. Kaz follows him soon after. 

After the next wave Kaz carries Wylan from the nest to the bathroom. 

Admittedly, he was the one who kicked up the most fuss about Nina’s contraption that she had installed in their shared bathroom. It was an expensive project that required the whole room to be expanded and, to be quite honest, it looked stupid. However, he didn’t have the time to bathe both of them in the tub. Plus, Wylan would probably fall asleep and manage to drown himself in it. 

Kaz set Wylan down on the bench outside of Nina’s shower and went to go fiddle with the knobs to get the water running the way she showed him a few weeks ago. 

“Thought you said you’d never step foot in that nonsense.” Wylan mumbles from the bench. 

“I don’t remember that at all.” Kaz lied, finally managing to get the hot water to work. 

He stripped himself quickly, throwing his clothes in the direction of the hamper to be put away later. 

Wylan let out a weak whistle. 

Kaz rolled his eyes, “You’re very funny. Come here,” He pulled Wylan to his feet, “we need to get you clean.” 

Wylan pulled back a little, “You can go first.” 

“It’ll be faster if we both go.” 

Wylan shook his head, “You don’t have to do this.” 

“What are you talking about?” 

“I don’t want to hurt you!” Wylan sent a pointed look at Kaz’s hands, then the shower. 

“I-” Kaz had been so wrapped up in taking care of him he hadn’t thought about that, “I’ve been fine so far.” 

Wylan shook his head, “You’ve been clothed so far, too.”  

“I can handle it, let’s just get you clean.” Kaz pulls on Wylan's hands again and he follows, begrudgingly. 

Kaz knows that in the best case scenario this ends with him having nightmares for the next few days, but there isn’t a way around it. 

“Mr. Angstrom is retiring soon.” Wylan says as they step under the spray, “Do you remember his daughter, Aaliya?” 

“The girl you conned into thinking we were going to elope together?”

“I think the undertone was more ‘fuck in a basement’ than ‘elope,'  but yea. She’s going to take over for him soon.” Wylan yawned, the fatigue setting back in now that he was under the relaxing spray, “Do you think she likes me?” 

Kaz cleaned himself first, avoiding contact with Wylan for as long as possible, “How would I know?” 

“I don’t know. I can’t tell if she thinks we’re friends or not.” 

“Well I’m the last person you should ask and you know that.” 

“I’m just trying to keep up the conversation. Keep you out of your head or whatever Jesper and Inej do when you aren't doing well.” 

Kaz scoffs, “I think that’s more because Jesper’s incapable of keeping his mouth shut when he’s nervous than anything else.” At least if he’s talking he can’t fall asleep again. 

“She’s not very nice. Not many mercher kids are nice.” Wylan says 

“I don’t know what you expected.” Kaz responded, starting to wash Wylan’s hair. 

“Breathe, Kaz.” Wylan says, looking away from him to a spot on the wall. 

“I’m breathing.” He wasn’t, but there’s no need to tell Wylan that. Kaz does his best to remind his body to breathe as he rubs suds into Wylan’s curls.

The water is hot, which helps. He thinks it helps, at least. 

Kaz rinses the suds from Wylan’s hair and grabs a washcloth. It’s not direct contact, and he’ll be quick about it. 

They keep conversation as best they can until it's done. 

Once Kaz was finished, Wylan slowly started lowering down and Kaz rushed to grab him under his arms and hoist him up, “What are you doing?”

Wylan looks moments away from tipping into Kaz’s chest and falling asleep, “ ‘m gonna suck you off” 

“No, you are not!” Of all the dumb plans he could’ve thought up.

“Haven’t seen you get off like…the whole time. ” Wylan says, like it was a great shame upon him. He then repeats, “Gonna suck you off.” 

Kaz blinks in astonishment, “Yea, because every time you cum you pass the fuck out. Faster than you normally do, I mean.” 

Wylan pouted, “Rude. I offer to get you off, and you’re being rude to me- you’re being rude to me while I’m in heat!” 

Kaz reaches past Wylan to turn the water off, “Yes, so rude you should forget the entire damn notion until we’re out of the shower and you can manage to keep your eyes open.” 

Wylan paused, “Because my eyes are sexy?” 

“Because you’re literally falling asleep on me!” He gets them both out of the shower and sets Wylan on the bench, wrapping a towel around him to keep him warm while Kaz dries himself off. 

“Semantics.” Wylan mumbled, leaning back against the wall, his eyes slipping closed. 

After drying Wylan off Kaz gets him into a soft housecoat and sits him at the foot of the bed while he replaces the towels in the nest and changes the sheets that lay over most of the actual blankets and clothing items out for a clean set. Wylan whines about it and Kaz has to spend a little time consoling him before he can finish. 

Finally, Kaz picks Wylan up and places him back in the nest. 

Wylan let out a pleased sigh, “Are you going to let the others come in and make sure I’m still alive, now?” 

Kaz stilled, “No idea what you’re talking about.” 

Wylan laughed, “So you have no idea why the rest of our pack is oddly missing? Is it because they don’t like me?” He joked 

“I may have...asked Matthias to leave us be.” 

“Just Matthias?” Wylan asked 

“What Matthias went and told the others is none of my business.” 

“You’re adorable.” He pulled Kaz in closer, laying his head between his shoulder and neck, “I thought head alpha was supposed to get first?” Wylan teased 

Kaz rolled his eyes, “Well we don’t have one of those so you should have adjusted your expectations.” He pulled the blanket up over them, “Really, I just didn’t want to- the logistics of all of us in here at once while you’re-“ he was going to say fragile but instantly thought better of it, “dealing with a lot already. It messed with my head. I wanted to figure out your state before managing everyone else’s.” 

“I’m pretty sure that” Wylan flicked his ear because their omega was terrible and rude, “is meant to be Nina and Matthias’ job this time. Not yours. They’ve got all the instincts for it.” 

“Well it’s my job every other time.” Kaz grumbled.

“Great, you need a break anyway.” Wylan kissed his cheek, “All you have to do is monitor me. Clearly, you’re good enough at that.” He yawned, leaning further into Kaz, “When I wake up my whole pack better be in here or I will cry so hard.” He threatened sweetly, closing his eyes 

“Are you going to be okay if I leave?” 

Wylan shrugged, “Almost definitely not. But I’ll be asleep! So that might save you.” He yawns again, “It sounds like a you problem.” 

Kaz waits until he is sure Wylan is dead asleep. Then, he slowly extricates himself from the nest, dresses himself in some clean, soft, clothes to wear, and leaves the room. 

The rest of his pack is in the den, lounging around on the couches and speaking softly to each other. Inej is the first one that sees him, sending him a smile from where she’s laying in Nina’s lap, “Evening, Kaz.” 

The rest of them turn to look at him. Matthias, who is sitting in the armchair closest to the door, holds out a hand. Kaz takes it. Matthias raises it to his lips and kisses it, because he’s horribly sappy, “Everything’s well? You’re taking care of him?” 

Kaz nods, “He’s okay.” He turns to the rest of the room, “But Wylan is requesting everyone join him soon under pain of torture.” 

“Then we’d better get going!” Nina exclaims with a laugh, she tosses a throw pillow at a Jesper’s sleeping form across from her on the other couch “Jesper, wake up!” 

Jesper grumbled, but sat up, “Oh, hey love.” He greets Kaz when he sees him in the threshold, “You two doing okay?” 

“We’re fine. Everyone’s getting up to come join us in the room.” 

He nodded, barely awake, “Lovely.” 

Inej stands, “I’m going to make a pot of coffee, I think.” 

“Thank you.” Kaz and Jesper say in unison. He’s been craving coffee for who knows how long, but he didn’t want to leave Wylan by himself. 

So, the five of them split up. Nina and Matthias go to their bedroom to watch over Wylan in case he wakes up, so that he isn’t alone. Inej, Jesper, and Kaz wait by the coffee pot and talk. 

Inej is leaning into his side. Jesper is holding his hand where it's laying on the counter. 

Eventually, they finish their drinks, wash out their mugs, and go to join the others.

Nina and Matthias are standing beside the bed, having not been given permission to enter the nest yet, watching Wylan with loving eyes. 

Kaz climbs into the nest, rousing Wylan with a little shake of his shoulder. They weren’t all going to stand around staring at the two of them, not when Kaz was awake. 

“Hm?” Wylan mumbled. 

“You can go right back to sleep, Gem, but you have to do something first.”

Wylan turned over onto his back and blinked his eyes open. Taking in the sight of his pack his face relaxed and his scent sweetened, “There you are.” 

“Can we join you?” Nina asked. 

Wylan nodded, rolled over onto his other side to bury his head in Kaz’s chest, “Might as well if you’re gonna wake me up for this.” He joked. 

As everyone climbed in and got comfortable Wylan leaned up to peck Kaz on the cheek, “Thank you” he whispered.

“Of course, gem.”

Whatever you need.