Archive of Our Own

Jinx feels like she's about to crash out. She closes her eyes,  breathing in and out like she has practiced with Dr Viktor. It doesn't seem to be working though, her heart still thundering in her chest and her cheeks tinted a faint shade of red. Probably because she isn't having an episode. No, this is different.

She doesn't know how it happened, or when it happened for that matter. But at some point during the past weeks, she's come to a terrible realization: she likes her best friend. Like, a lot. And that shouldn't be surprising to her because, hell, he is Ekko. Cute, hot, funny, smart, kind, witty, selfless, charming. He’s a catch and most people on campus are aware of that. Of course, Jinx has always known all those things about him, but she has never considered them as anything else than personality traits belonging to the best person she knew - aka her dearest, oldest friend. No weird feelings involved.

It was only recently that she started paying more attention, or rather, that her attention has been captured and held hostage by him. And it is absolutely terrifying because she isn't supposed to like him like that. She's supposed to be his best friend - nothing more, nothing less. But oh, how she wants to be more.

Maybe it started that time when she showed up at his doorstep, face tear-streaked after a particularly bad day that she really didn't want to talk about, and he wordlessly engulfed her in his arms, then led her inside to cook her a warm meal. As he did so, he told her about a ridiculous client that had shown up at Benzo's shop, cracking jokes and doing hilarious impressions of him just to make her forget about her troubles for the evening and get her to laugh. 

Maybe it started the day he took her to a secret garden he had found behind an abandoned villa in Piltover and spent the afternoon pointing at various plants, explaining to her what species they were while the two of them walked around. That sunny day he looked so relaxed and carefree that the sight made her heart warm. But then his soft brown eyes brightened even more as they stopped in front of a flower bed of purple Crocuses and he started recounting fun facts about them. She did her best to listen, but soon she was distracted watching him. As the late afternoon sunlight illuminated his warm dark skin and his eyes, giving them the appearance of sweet honey pools she could get lost in, she couldn't help but be dazzled by him: the passion he put into his words, the curve of his lips, the movements of his sharp jawline as he talked, the few locs that would occasionally fall low on his forehead and the fingers that came up to brush them away each time. He was so beautiful. She found herself smiling back at him with the same enthusiasm, her heart beating fast, latching on every word he said, not because of what he was saying, but because he was saying it.

Maybe it was the time he ended up in the ER with a minor concussion after fainting due driving himself to exhaustion.  He trusted her, of all people, to go to the hospital and get him. To someone else it wouldn't have been a big deal - after all she was his best friend - but to Jinx it meant the world. He had many friends he could rely on, unlike her, along with Benzo and Vi and yet, he had called for Jinx first, like it was the most natural thing in the world. Like he believed he could truly rely on her more than anyone else. The thought was destabilizing to Jinx to say the least, leaving her confused and giddy at the same time.

Or maybe it had started long before any of that.

All Jinx knows now is that she's barely functioning as she watches Ekko surrounded by a small group of fellow students. Because just a few moments earlier, when he saw her sitting close to the door as he entered the lecture hall, his warm gaze lingered on her frame for a few seconds longer than usual, regarding her tight blue cropped top and her new black pants that hug her curves just the way she likes, only to smirk and comment "Nice outfit". Then, as it’s routine, he went to greet his buddies Scar, Eve and Zeri before the beginning of class, leaving Jinx struggling to hide how much the compliment has left her flustered. Admittedly, she’s been hoping he would notice that she has been putting more effort in her outfit choices lately, but she wasn't expecting him to openly acknowledge it. She wasn't ready. 

Just as Ekko seems to detach himself from the group to come sit next to her like he always does, Jinx notices in the corner of her vision a pretty pink-haired girl making her way with purpose through the bustling hall, her gaze fixed on Ekko. Jinx narrows her eyes, observing the girl, whose name she vaguely remembers being Seraphine, stop in front of the boy. It’s not hard to guess what her intentions are. He seems surprised at the interruption, but not displeased. 

Jinx suddenly feels the urge to play darts, with Seraphine positioned in front of the target board. She can’t hear what they’re saying, but she scowls when she sees the girl pass him a piece of paper, tucking her hair behind her ear. To make things worse, Ekko actually slips it into the pocket of his pants, politely smiling at her. 

Whatever good mood Jinx was graced with by Ekko’s compliment is now replaced by pure sourness. She looks down at her notebook, its pages covered in scribbles, and decides that it’s best for her to just focus on starting the design for Sevika’s new prosthetic arm. The bouncer employed by Silco has been complaining about her old one falling to pieces for way too long.

Fully immersed in calculations, she doesn’t notice her best friend sliding in the seat beside hers, startling when he rests his chin on her shoulder to look at her notebook.

“Is that for Sevika?”

She tries to ignore the way his breath feels hot on the skin of her neck, but doesn’t trust herself to speak with all those conflicting feelings boiling inside her, so she just hums in confirmation as she continues scribbling.

“Looks good”

“It’s just a stupid draft” she mutters, letting go of the pencil her fingers were gripping. 

The edge in her voice doesn’t go unnoticed. She doesn’t need to see his face to know he’s taken back by her response.

“You okay?” he asks reluctantly, raising his chin from her shoulder.

She sighs, leaning back in her seat and closing her eyes. She’s not mad at him, she reminds herself. He’s just taking interest in how she’s doing, like the good friend he is. 

“Yeah”, she opens her eyes and meets his concerned ones. She forces her lips into a lopsided smirk “What about you? I saw you made a conquest”

She really hopes her tone doesn't give her annoyance away and luckily it looks like it doesn’t, since Ekko just scratches the back of his neck, grimacing a little. “I wouldn’t say that”

This catches her off-guard “No?”

“I mean, she’s cute”, he says - not a good start , Jinx thinks - “but I’m not interested”. He looks back, his gaze falling back on her notebook and he doesn’t seem eager to elaborate.

“Uh” 

She wants to say more, ask more, like why he’s not interested or if it’s because he already likes somebody else, but she’s terrified of the answers she might get. What if he does have a crush on somebody else? Or worse, what if he’s in the middle of some talking stage he’s left her unaware of, for some reason? She wants to scream in frustration, but this is neither the right time, nor the right place for it.

All she can do is forcefully shove those tormenting thoughts in the back of her mind as she picks up the pencil and resumes her work. Caught in her own world, she misses the way Ekko’s shoulders drop, a small sigh leaving his lips, when she’s no longer looking at him. Soon enough, class starts and Jinx is relieved at the distraction it provides for them both. Not talking to Ekko for the next hour means being spared the desperate need to combust on the spot for a while and she’ll gladly take the respite.

Vi loves watching wrestling matches on the couch with a bowl full of popcorn in her lap. It’s something fun she does every once in a while after getting off work, when she’s too tired to go to the gym. While she's not particularly fond of wrestling as a sport, preferring boxing, she finds the show the wrestlers put on ridiculous but entertaining enough. Besides, she will never pass the occasion to watch some pompous dudes beat the shit out of each other, even if she knows all of it is staged. She's pretty sure the hits are real anyways.

This Thursday is one of those exhausting days that end with her sprawled on the couch, watching wrestlers throwing absurd taunts at each other before the fight starts. Well, she would be watching wrestlers throwing absurd taunts at each other if it wasn't for her little sister's silhouette blocking the view of the tv screen. Vi squints her eyes at the blue-haired girl, struggling to make out her features in the scarcely illuminated living room, the only light coming from the tv.

“You’re not invisible and I’m not interested in watching you. Move” she deadpans.

Jinx crosses her arms. “I have a problem” she states, ignoring the request.

Vi scowls “So do I. It’s you, standing in front of the tv when I’m trying to watch the match”

Oddly enough, her sister actually moves to sit beside her on the couch, but her posture is hunched and she’s picking the skin at her cuticles. That catches her attention. Jinx always likes to make herself comfortable by stretching her limbs out on the couch and it’s not often that she sits like she currently is, tension visible in the rigidity of her back. A pang of guilt starts gnawing at Vi for dismissing her so quickly and she internally scolds herself. She reaches for the remote, turning down the volume, then grabs Jinx’s hand and stops the movement of her fingers in the process.

“You know you need to stop doing that to yourself” she admonishes. Then, she gives Jinx’s hand a light squeeze “What’s wrong?”

It takes her a while to answer. Eventually, she raises her head to look at the redhead “I’m so fucked, Vi. I -” she screws her eyes shut as she lowers her voice to say the rest of the sentence “I think I like Ekko and I don’t know what to do”

Vi just stares at her sister for a moment. Then she bursts out laughing “That- I’m sorry, but that is your problem?”

Jinx huffs, ocean blue eyes narrowed “What is that supposed to mean?”

Vi is still cackling between words “I mean, yeah, you like Ekko, no shit. I thought it was common knowledge? And anyway, what’s so bad about that?”

She brings her legs closer to her chest, hugging them and resting her forehead on her knees to hide her face from view, groaning ”Am I really that obvious?”

“Yep, but I don’t think Little Man knows” she shrugs “Actually, I’m pretty sure he doesn’t have a clue". Idiot . 

“Good”

Vi frowns at this. “Why?”

Jinx turns to look at her as if she’s grown two heads “Because he can’t find out. He’s my best friend . He doesn’t see me like that. I need to get rid of these stupid feelings!”

Vi wants to roll her eyes, but she holds back from doing so “Didn’t you two share your first kiss?”

“Yeah, but we were eleven! It was awkward and just to try it out. That doesn’t count” her hands move wildly as she speaks, almost accidentally hitting the other woman in the process, who just raises her eyebrows, unconvinced. 

“This is different” Jinx insists, “and I don’t know how to make it go away. And I can’t act on it because it’s gonna ruin our friendship". A hint of uncertainty flickers in her eyes. "Any advice on how to get over someone?”

Vi knows why her sister came to her with this, despite not being open about her feelings usually. First of all, she’s totally whipped and that must be freaking her out enough to actually ask for advice. Second of all, it’s only been a few months since the break up between Vi and her ex, Caitlyn. The first days after the break up were so bad she can barely remember anything of what happened. All she knows is that she drowned her heartbreak in alcohol and spent her nights picking fights at the bar, until Jinx found her passed out in some dirty back alley, wasted and covered in bruises after getting her ass kicked, and dragged her home. It got better after that. Vi was so ashamed of herself for letting her baby sister see her in those conditions, that she made a silent oath to be a better role model, to not fall into that cycle of self-destruction again, to be someone Vander would be proud of. She’s thankful for her own decision now, because Jinx, troubled by her feelings, is here seeking her advice instead of following her example. She takes a moment to find the right words before answering.

“I don't think you need to get over him at all" she says slowly, "Just be honest and tell him how you feel. Maybe do something romantic to show how much you care. You might be surprised at the outcome" she winks.

Wide blue eyes stare back at her, unblinking. Then, a laugh "Ha! You can be hilarious sometimes, sis"

Vi sighs. Ever since she was a child, Powder has always been stubborn. She doesn't know why she thought she would take her seriously this time. Of course it wouldn't be that easy.

"Just think about it, okay?"

Jinx shakes her head "Nope. You've gone nuts. And that's saying something, coming from me." She swings her legs and jumps up from the couch. After scooping up a handful of popcorn from the bowl in her sister's lap, she starts heading towards her bedroom "Forget it. Enjoy your show"

Vi is left alone in the living room, wondering when her younger sibling would get her head out of her ass. Not soon enough, that's for sure. Idiot .

When she looks back at the tv screen, the wrestlers are nowhere to be seen, an annoying soap commercial with an unnecessary amount of singing playing instead. Great. She missed the match.

Friday is torture for Jinx. No matter how hard she tries not to think about it, she just can’t seem to get the conversation she had with her sister the previous night out of her head, replaying it over and over again in her mind throughout the entire day. Why the hell was Vi so adamant about telling Ekko the truth? Does she want her to embarrass herself for life? Jinx doubts she would go that low for the sake of a sibling’s prank, but you can never know, right? Or wait- does Vi know something?

She’s so consumed by the storm taking place inside her that even Ekko notices she’s distracted in and out of class. What’s worse is that he’s well aware that there’s something off with her and he’s beginning to worry - kind, sweet Ekko, who casts concerned side glances at her when he thinks she’s not looking and who offers to get ice cream together after their afternoon lectures. “Just to relax a little” he says in a casual tone when she inquires what's the occasion. Nevertheless, she knows it's mostly for her benefit rather than his. It's maddening. All she wants to do is stuff her feelings for him in the most remote corner of her heart and keep them boxed there, and yet here he is, looking all handsome and taking care of her without even having to ask if she needs it, making her breath hitch and her heart leap out of the chest whenever he gets too close. Why does he have to be so good? Why can't she have a crush on some asshole she would undoubtedly get over instead?

It’s when they finally go get that ice cream that Jinx comprehends that she’s a goner. On their walk to the ice cream parlor they chat about everything and nothing and Jinx is vaguely conscious of the way her eyes are constantly drawn to Ekko, as if victim of some kind of hypnosis. He’s too absorbed in the conversation to take notice of her lingering gazes though, and eventually he cracks a stupid pun. It’s not unusual for him, especially since he knows she can’t stand them and loves purposefully getting under her skin. Today wasn’t supposed to be different. Yet, when the unfunny joke leaves his lips, Jinx is horrified to hear her own voice crackle with laughter. Ekko is as surprised as her by the reaction, halting to analyze her face, eyebrows raised. She stops too, waiting for the inevitable teasing that's coming her way. He says nothing at first, then a light chuckle escapes his lips. His very soft-looking, very kissable lips. She has to summon all her willpower not to ogle at them. Janna, what is happening to her?

"Never thought I'd see the day you laugh at a bad pun" 

She rolls her eyes, trying to play it cool "So you admit your jokes are terrible?"

"Nah" he smirks, starting to walk again with her trailing after him "You laughed and that makes them good enough"

He nudges her side, enjoying the sight of the light blush appearing on her cheeks with a certain air of smugness to him. It makes him look even more attractive and Jinx thinks it’s so unfair. She silently curses herself for being so affected by every little thing he does. 

When she gets home in the early evening, she lets herself fall on her bed, worn out and utterly defeated by her own treacherous heart. She blankly stares at the ceiling, as if hoping it would give her the answers she needs. Ekko 1 - Jinx 0 . It’s ridiculous, really. He doesn’t even know what he’s doing to her. 

Laying there, she comes to the conclusion that Vi might have been right. Not because confessing is the best course of action, hell no. But simply because it’s becoming clearer and clearer that those feelings aren’t leaving her alone anytime soon. It’s so much worse than she thought and she can’t bear to keep doing whatever this is, pretending that everything’s normal when it’s not and hoping that one day his view of her might change, that he might like her back. That is, assuming he doesn’t already have his eye on someone else. The thought alone makes her want to rip all her hair out. Then again, Vi seemed so sure that confessing was the right thing to do. What if Ekko reciprocates her feelings and he confided in Vi about it? If that’s the case, Jinx knows that asking her sister would be useless as she wouldn’t spill Ekko’s secrets, not even to her.

Which leaves her only one way to find out and she’s already dreading it. Still, the only thing worse than ripping than band-aid off is the anticipation before it, keeping her constantly on edge. Jinx is not the type of person who patiently waits for her own downfall, letting anxiety creep up on her in the meantime. Jinx is the type of person who seeks it out first, just getting it over with. And that’s exactly what she’s gonna do. Certainly not sober though.

The Last Drop is a nest of chaos and restlessness open to any Zaunite who wants to let some steam off after a long week of work. The place is packed, even for a Friday night. The bright strobe lights flashing through the dark venue and the blaring music alone are enough to induce dizziness in someone who’s not used to them. That’s not the case for Jinx, who has always strived in chaos. Most importantly though, as the adoptive daughter of the owner, she comes here often, whether to visit Silco, bother Sevika or dance the night away in the safety of her father’s establishment, blessed with the garantee that no creep will dare to even look her way if they don’t want their face to become acquaintances with the bouncer’s fists, or worse - deal with Silco’s ire. The man might display a calm exterior, but people in Zaun know better than to mess with him or, Janna forbid, his daughter. It’s no secret that he used to be involved in some shady business years ago and, while he doesn’t participate in it anymore, he still has contacts.

Powder was thirteen when she and Vi were taken in by Silco. It was around that time that she started going by Jinx, following the car accident Vander and her were caught in. Only she had walked out alive though, her former adoptive father’s side of the car taking most of the impact. She blamed herself, of course - survivor’s guilt, the therapist that Vi and Silco had taken her to had said. Jinx wasn’t of the same opinion. She knew she was the reason why they were in that car. That rainy day Vander would have stayed home if it hadn’t been for her insistence on going to some science fair in Piltover. If she hadn’t asked him to take her there, he would still be alive. No one else blamed her for the accident, but those days old memories from her childhood resurfaced, memories of when she would sometimes mess up in group projects at school and some cruel kid would call her a jinx because of it. They would start as whispers, harsh and taunting, then grow into something darker, louder, deafening, inescapable. At some point, she just accepted it, embraced her identity as a jinx. Silco, who stepped up to raise the two orphaned girls to repay some old debt he had towards Vander, allowed her to change her name, despite Vi’s protests. 

The eldest sister didn’t like Silco at all. She was seventeen at the time of the accident, almost a legal adult, and her grief was different, more bound to loss than guilt, laced with the pain of more memories. She had been untrusting of Vander too at first, right after the death of their biological parents given that she had known them for longer than Powder. Therefore, when she was placed under Silco’s guardianship, she was already too old to actually see him as a real parental figure and the differences between the two only put more distance in their relationship. Powder, on the other hand, found comfort in him, his soothing words, his arms, his care. Vi struggled to understand the newly-formed bond between father and daughter, but decided to keep that mostly to herself, only sometimes commenting on it. That was, until Silco, who had taken the reins of The Last Drop, decided to make renovations for the pub and transform it into a nightclub. Seeing that Jinx didn’t object to the decision, Vi didn’t hesitate to call her a traitor for that. 

Thus, the fights started. Between Vi and Silco, between Jinx and Vi. The younger sister would scoff and say things like “What difference does it make? It’s not like he’s here to see it anyways” or “If Silco wasn’t going to make renovations, I would burn the place down myself” when the eldest accused her of betraying Vander and letting Silco stain his memory. The dissonance between the two teenagers kept growing and growing until one night Jinx, broken and exhausted by all the fighting, took the time to explain why she was okay with it. 

“I can’t look at it anymore, Vi. It’s a constant reminder of him and what happened. It just hurts so much” she said with tears streaming down her face, her voice breaking, arms hugging her knees as she sat on Vi’s bed.

After that confrontation Vi begrudgingly let it go, not planning on staying to live with Silco and Jinx anyways. When she turned eighteen she got a job and, as soon as she had saved enough money to pay rent, moved into her own apartment. The relationship between the sisters was still a little strained, but it got much better when Jinx started college and asked if she could move in with Vi since her place was closer to the campus. Bonus point, Vi didn’t live far from Ekko. He had been by Jinx’s side through it all and she couldn’t be more grateful for her best friend, who had been an anchor when the ground underneath her feet had faltered for so long.

It’s because of that boy that now she is making her way through the mass of bodies, her small frame allowing her to slip between people. She isn’t really dressed for clubbing, her outfit consisting of a simple pair of black denim shorts, a grey baggy t-shirt and a leather jacket that used to belong to Silco in his youth. It doesn’t matter though, because she’s not planning on hanging around for long. She considers going to the bar but decides against it when she sees how crowded the area is, the bartender - Chuck was his name? -  moving frantically to serve all the customers huddled at the counter, shouting to call for his attention over the thundering music. Jinx opts for the stairs that lead to Silco’s office instead, grateful for his absence today due to some business meeting he has to attend. 

The music becomes a muffled sound as she closes the door of the office behind her and beelines for the cabinet in the corner of the room closest to the round window that seen from the outside represents an eye. She knows that’s where her father keeps the good liquors. When she goes to open it, though, her pull meets resistance, indicating that Silco locked the cabinet. She curses. Since when does he lock it? Then again, it’s not like she tries to get to the stash often. 

She’s not much of a drinker, actually. Aside from the fact that alcohol messes with her meds, she’s had a couple of pretty bad drunk experiences in the past. In fact, Jinx found out the hard way that she normally wants to steer clear of mind altering substances, Janna knows her mind’s already altered enough. The thought makes her still for a moment. Is this a terrible idea? Sure, not every time she got drunk had been awful, and there were times when she actually had fun, but what if today was one of those days? She shakes her head, dismissing the possibility; she’s been doing better lately. Most importantly, she can’t hide her feelings from Ekko anymore and she needs some liquid courage for that. Sometimes you just have to hope for the best.

With a newly-found resolution, she moves to stand behind Silco’s desk, opening his drawers in search of the bottles he keeps there, closer to him. She gets lucky at the third drawer, pulling out an half-empty bottle, the liquid inside it a light shade of brown. She scrunches her nose in distaste as she reads the label. Brandy. She hates brandy. But this is what’s available and it will have to do. She sits on her father’s chair, bringing the bottles to her lips and taking a sip. It’s even nastier than she remembered.

She stays there for a while, slowly letting the liquor slide down her throat until she starts feeling the tension loosen up. She takes that as a sign she’s ready. Leaving the bottle on the flat surface, she stands up and walks to the door. Halfway there, a thought occurs to her; she pauses mid-step and turns around, striding back to the desk. Her hand reaches for the last drawer, where a couple of spare flasks are stacked. She takes one, pouring in a generous amount of brandy. For back-up , she thinks. When she's done, she stuffs it in the inside pocket of her jacket and places the bottle back to its place. Now she's ready.

It’s late. The cool breeze of the night hits the skin of her bare legs, but she barely notices the temperature as her eyes are fixed on the window on the right on the first floor of the building before her. The house isn’t too old or shabby compared to the other buildings on that street, but  the flaking paint on some spots of the pastel yellow walls and the distinctly Zaunite architecture give away the class of its inhabitants.

"Okay, Jinx. You can do this. You will do this" she nods to herself, pacing back and forth in front of the building, her long braids hitting the back of her legs at each step. She kicks a few pebbles to vent her nervousness, but the alcohol in her system isn't helping her balance. Her foot misses a couple of times and that only leads her frustration to grow. She groans.

"Ya know what? Screw it"

Vi told her to confess and here she was, in the middle of the night, drunk and about to do something most likely very stupid. But her sister also said to be open, romantic, maybe even perform a meaningful gesture as the cherry on top. Jinx hums, nodding so vehemently that her already dizzy head hurts. 

“Yeah, a romantic gesture. But what?”

She doesn't know how much time passes while she keeps pondering and pacing, taking a sip from the flask she still has in the inside pocket of her jacket every now and then, grimacing in disgust each time. She feels so warm, whether it’s from the brandy burning her throat or from all the moving around or from the jittery tingles she’s getting at the thought of what she’s about to do. 

Suddenly a memory hits her, her back straightening with a new resolve as an idea forms in her intoxicated mind. She remembers how just last week Ekko defeatedly told her that he hadn’t managed to get concert tickets for a band he really likes, despite it standing out from his usual music taste. Their music isn’t really her cup of tea, but she can’t deny they are talented and she’s spent enough time with Ekko to have learned a couple of their songs. 

That’s it. A romantic gesture to confess her feelings. A serenade. And she just knows the song for the task. 

She digs her phone from her pocket and dials her sister’s number, excitement starting to run through her veins. She realizes now, as she waits for Vi to pick up, that she might be more drunk than she thought. Oh, well.

Vi answers on the fourth ring, her voice groggy from sleep “Pow? Ugh, it’s 2:45 AM, why are you calling?”

Jinx opens her mouth to reply, but her sister cuts her off before she can get a word out, sounding more and more awake. “Wait a sec. Aren’t you in your room? Where are you?”

“Jeez, chill sis! I’m at Ekko’s”, a giggle escapes her lips for some reason. “Well, outside. Imma ‘bout to try what you told me”. The sentence comes out slurred, no matter how much she tries to keep her voice even.

She hears Vi curse under her breath “Jinx… are you drunk?”

She brings her thumb index finger close to each other, but then remembers that the eldest sibling can't see her gesture. Ugh. She sighs into her phone. 

"Just a teeny-tiny bit. Don't worry sis, I'm okay- umphhh"

Jinx turns her gaze downward to glare at the pebble that has just made her trip, luckily not big enough to send her sprawling to the ground.

"Jinx?" a concerned voice says from the other line, "Look, wait there. I'm coming to get you.  Don't do anything until I get there, just - just wait. Alright?"

The blue-haired girl hums, paying the warning no heed. "I'm gonna show Ekko I like him. Like, like like him" 

She bursts into a laugh, weirdly amused by the repetition. It sounds so silly.

"What??" Vi screeched into her ear "No, no, no. What do you mean by 'show'? Jinx, I don't think that's a good idea right now..."

What is her deal? She was the one who had insisted that being truthful about her feelings was the right thing to do. And if there's a moment when Jinx is brave enough to go through with it, it's now.

"Uh-uh, it's now or never. You were right, I gotta tell him. Thanks Vi!" 

She ends the phone call before her sister can reply, dismissing any protests coming from the other line.

Next step: get Ekko to come to the window of his room. 

A sly smirk takes shape on her lips as she crouches to the ground to grab some pebbles. If she is to confess, might as well do things in full rom-com style. She rises to stand again and moves a couple of steps away to position herself on the right spot.  

Bringing her arm back, she aims for Ekko's window and throws one of the pebbles. The hit produces a light tapping sound and she's so grateful that her aim is good even in her inebriated state. She keeps shooting pebbles at his window for the next few minutes, but it seems it's not enough to wake him up and get his attention. He's always been a heavy sleeper, after all.

She searches the ground for bigger pebbles until her eyes end up on what she could only describe as a small stone, not quite a pebble, if she were sober. But she isn't, so she picks it up and launches it.

She’s quick to realize her mistake as the stone doesn't just bounce on the window like all the pebbles did. The high-pitched sound of glass shattering makes Jinx go still. She grimaces at the sight of the hole in the middle of the window pane, the cracks around it almost resembling spiderwebs . It wasn't supposed to go like that.

"Shit!"

She quickly brings out her flask again, gulping down more of the liquid courage she needs, sure that that has just woken Ekko up and that he's not gonna be in a good mood. Indeed, it's only a matter of moments before he opens the window, or rather what's left of it, and looks down at her, trying to blink sleep away, a deep frown on his face.

Standing there shirtless and undoubtedly pissed off, he looks like he belongs in a painting, shadows caused by the moonlight dancing on the muscles of his torso as he moves. The sight makes her mouth go dry. 

"Jinx? What the fuck??" 

She snaps out of it, grimacing at the barely contained anger in his voice. "Sorry!" she manages to weakly creak out, and if it wasn't for the silence of the night, she knows he wouldn't have heard her. "I didn't mean to break it! I promise I'll pay for it" 

Ekko sighs, running a hand over his exasperated face. "What on earth were you trying to do?"

This time his tone is less harsh, but it doesn’t make Jinx feel much better.     He sounds so tired, like he doesn't even have the energy to argue about his shattered window. Which she broke, just like everything else she touches. Always a jinx. Is he tired of her ? She wouldn’t blame him, especially after how closed off she’s been acting in the last days. He deserves better, a voice in the back of her mind whispers.

She instinctively steps back, but she stumbles on another stone in the process and almost lands on her ass. Suddenly she realizes she's trying to hold back tears, blinking rapidly not to let them fall.

Ekko seems to understand that too and his expression morphs into one of worry, "Jinx? Are you alright?". It’s a question she’s been getting a lot from him lately, whether in the form of words or quiet glances.

Warm brown eyes are staring into hers from afar, making her insides feel like they're about to melt, and all she can do is shake her head. That's all he needs to make up his mind. 

"I'm coming down to let you in" he says, but before he can move away from the window she stops him.

It’s now or never .

"No! Wait!"

He stops dead in his tracks, utterly confused.

"I need to sing for you" she blurts out as all inhibitions flee her body. She no longer knows what she's doing. Actually, she’s pretty sure she hasn't known all along.

"Sing? Jinx, are you drunk?"

She doesn't bother to answer the question. Brushing aside her side bang with her finger, she takes a deep breath. Then she starts singing.

"I wanna be your vacuum cleanerrrr!"

She stops immediately, pulling a face at the lyrics and bursting into a fit of giggles. Meanwhile, Ekko stands at the window, watching her completely dumbfounded. "Umm…uh?"

Jinx shakes her head to regain her composure, if it could even be called that. Focus . She starts over and this time she keeps going.

I wanna be your vacuum cleaner

Breathing in your dust

I wanna be your Ford Cortina

I will never rust

If you like your coffee hot

Let me be your coffee pot

You call the shots, babe

I just wanna be yours

She stares straight into his eyes as she sings, but it's hard to decipher what he's thinking. His lips are parted and the surprise on his face is evident. She can't afford to start overthinking it though. When she sings the next part, she puts her entire being into it. The lyrics flow out of her in a desperate plea to be heard by him, expressing exactly what she wants to tell him. She just doesn't know how to do that like a normal human being.

Secrets I have held in my heart

Are harder to hide than I thought

Maybe I just wanna be yours

I wanna be yours, I wanna be yours

Wanna be yours

Wanna be yours

Wanna be yours

The softest of smiles is now gracing his features, enhancing his beauty. Jinx doesn't know why he's smiling. Is he amused? Is she off-key? Does he feel the same? She has no idea. Either way, she can't look away, trapped under the weight of his gaze. Her breath hitches when she moves onto the next lyrics.

Let me be your leccy meter

And I'll never run out

Let me be the portable hea-

"Mmph!" 

A strong hand is clasped to her mouth and her eyebrows narrow as she recognizes the owner's blue eyes. Those same wide eyes turn to Ekko, apologetic.

"Hey Ekko! Sorry about this, she's very drunk" the newcomer nervously chuckles.

Vi doesn't wait for him to reply, proceeding to grab her sister's arm and drag her away, moving in the direction of their apartment “Come on Pow, let’s go home”

The blue-haired girl isn't having it, thrashing to go turn back in her sibling's grip. "Get your fat hands off me! What the hell is your problem?"

Vi snorts "My problem? What the hell is your problem, if anything"

Jinx looks back at the boy she just serenaded, who seems to be in shock, still standing frozen in front of the window, watching the two sisters bicker and drifting farther from his house. He hasn't said a word since she started singing. In her haze, she wonders if he liked it.

"I was singing to him!" she exclaims, trying one more time to free herself from Vi's grip, but her sister is relentless. 

"Yeah, I heard that and so did the entire neighbourhood, most likely. I had to save you from yourself"

"Rude" Jinx grumbles, but she has given up on attempting to go back, letting herself get dragged home.

About ten minutes later, the two arrive at their apartment. By then, all the energy she had has left Jinx's body, sleep threatening to engulf her at any moment. She's spent half the walk there leaning her weight on Vi's shoulder, too dizzy to walk in a straight line.

As she enters her room, she can merely change into her pajamas before she lets herself collapse on her bed, passing out in a matter of seconds.

A throbbing pain in her head is the first thing she’s aware of when she wakes up. The second thing she notices is a familiar voice calling her name - her old one, not the one she goes by now. The third thing is the light touch of someone’s fingers brushing away strands of hair from her face. Jinx opens her eyes, but closes them again immediately, wincing as the headache only gets worse. She feels the coolness of a curved smooth object being pushed into her hands accompanied by a soft-spoken command.

“Drink”

Creaking her eyelids open despite her whole body protesting against it, she does as she’s told, welcoming the fresh water washing away the dryness in her mouth. When she’s done she lets her head fall back against her pillow, handing her sister the emptied glass and covering her eyes with her arm. 

A chuckle sounds out “Not much of a nightingale now, are you?”

Jinx lets out a groan as the pain sharpens. “Too loud” she mumbles. Then, she registers what Vi said. “What the fuck are you talking about?” she drawls out.

The younger girl moves her arm to glare at the redhead when she just gets laughed at as a response. She observes her sister pull out her phone, tapping on the screen a few times before turning it towards her so she could see.

“Let me refresh your memory”

Jinx doesn’t miss the amusement in her tone, but doesn't think much of it, looking at the screen instead. A video is playing, showing none other than herself several feet away from the camera singing the words ‘I wanna be yours’ in the middle of a street while glancing up at a building. Although not enough to ruin the song, she’s a little off-key, which is unusual for her as she’s generally an alright singer. Not excellent, but good enough. Clearly that’s not the case when she’s wasted. The video doesn’t show who she’s singing to, but she doesn’t have to see the person to know who it is. 

Horror washes over her like a high tide as the events of the previous night slowly start coming back to her. Her resolution to confess. The brandy. Getting some idiotic idea about serenades. Breaking Ekko’s window. Singing that damn song. Getting dragged home and passing out. Fuck. If there’s one thing that Jinx never got with her hangovers, that’s memory loss. She idly wonders whether bashing her head against the wall would be enough to give her amnesia.

She grimaces helplessly when she hears herself shout ‘Let me be your leccy meter’ into the quiet of the night. In the background of the video she can make out Vi asking no one in particular “Your what?” and snickering. The video ends before the next lyrics. It doesn’t matter, she remembers what happened next anyways.

“That was gold, really”

Her blue eyes shoot daggers at Vi, who’s way too pleased with herself. “Why didn’t you stop me sooner, you moron? Do you wanna see me die of humiliation?”

Her older sister rolls her eyes at her antics “And miss the show? No way”

Jinx lunges at her, eager to give her a real show and see if she still feels like laughing then. Much to her frustration, Vi’s quicker, getting up from the bed and out of her reach in no time.

“I brought you an advil and more water” she tilts her head in the direction of Jinx’s nightstand, then moves to walk out the door, closing it behind her. 

Left alone, Jinx pushes her face into the pillow, letting out a scream. Why did she have to do something so stupid? The thought of facing Ekko after that shitshow makes her want to fake her death, change her name again and move to another continent. 

Her door creaks open again and she looks up at her sister, whose head is peeking in. The latter smirks, her powder blue eyes twinkling.

"Oh and, by the way, I sent the video to Ekko too. You know, so he can replay the highlights when he’s feeling sad"

Vi closes the door before the pillow Jinx tosses at her can hit her face. "You did WHAT?!"

Jinx has never felt so homicidal towards her sister in her entire life. Maybe Cain was right; fratricide is the only option your sibling leaves you sometimes. Her head hurts too much to commit murder today, though. Ugh.

Her phone buzzes on the nightstand. Extending an arm lazily, she grabs it and unlocks it. She sees a missed call and three texts in the notifications bar, all from Ekko.

The first two were delivered about three hours ago.

-You awake?

-Can we talk?

The third one was delivered just seconds ago. Jinx sits up in alarm as soon as she reads it, regretting it when a stab of pain shoots through her skull. 

-Is it okay if I come over later? 

"No, no, no, no, no" she says under her breath, scrambling to come up with a reply. She can't see him, not after catastrophically embarrassing herself like she did last night. He’s probably mad at her because of her little stunt. She even broke his window, for fuck’s sake. 

Deep down, she knows he won’t be angry at the confession itself, regardless of how he feels about it, but the execution? Yeah, she doubts he’s happy about that. Her concerns on her all the ways her plan went wrong, though, pale in comparison to the rising fear of rejection. Yesterday she was so sure that confessing was her only option, the only way of getting rid of the huge weight that was pressing on her shoulders, to free herself of the unbearable torment. With post-confession clarity striking her in her gut, she wonders at what cost. 

She has to backtrack. She might have lost all her dignity, but if she plays her cards well she might be able to at least preserve the friendship. Jinx is aware that she has worn her heart on her sleeve the previous night and things might be awkward for a while, but the mess she made put things into perspective again for her. She’s a screw up. Ekko might want her as a friend, but he would be insane to want her as something more.

First things first: apologize. She starts typing a quick text on the screen of her phone.

-Hey, sorry about last night. I don’t know what I was doing

Then, avoid. Not the best move, but a necessary one. Addressing his previous questions, she replies:

-Not feeling very well right now. Another time?

It takes him a few seconds to respond.

-Sure. How about tomorrow?

Jinx bites her lower lip. Too soon. She needs more time. 

- Can’t. I’m visiting Silco, sorry

Excuses, lame excuses and they both know that. Nevertheless, Ekko lets it go for now.

- It’s fine, I’ll see you on Monday. Hope you feel better soon <3

She types a quick ‘thanks’ and locks her phone, ignoring the way her heart rate picks up at the heart emoji he’s sent. It doesn’t mean anything, she reminds herself, he’s used it plenty of times before for completely platonic texts. 

She sighs. She truly is hopeless.

Jinx is not proud of the way she behaves on Monday. She’s managed to avoid Ekko throughout the weekend, but when she steps on campus ground that morning, eyes darting around for any sign of him, she’s still terrified of the confrontation that will surely take place when they meet. 

She looks at the time on her phone while walking to class. She has two minutes to get to the lecture hall. She purposefully left the apartment later than usual, since she usually comes a little earlier just to catch up with Ekko before class. She supposes that arriving late might get her scolded by professor Talis, but at least she won’t have to talk to Ekko just yet. She isn’t oblivious to the fact that she’s just delaying the inevitable.

When she gets there, class has in fact already started and she does get reprimanded for being late, but she barely hears what the professor’s saying as her eyes scan the room and are drawn to where Ekko’s sitting. The seat next to him is empty and she knows it’s because he reserved it for her. He’s staring at her, an unreadable expression on his face. Her feet move automatically towards him, despite having initially planned to take some random seat. She’s not thinking clearly, her mind a mess of rushing thoughts that don’t have enough time to fully take form.

Finally, her feet come to a stop as she sits down, placing her backpack on the floor next to her. When she turns to look at him, he’s still watching her with that unreadable look. She clears her throat.

“Hi” her voice sounding shy for the first time in what’s probably been years.

His face breaks into a genuine smile. “Hi”

Warm relief blooms in her chest, along with something else, but she can’t quite put her finger on it. In the background, she distantly hears Talis droning on about today’s subject, though not a single word actually reaches her. Ekko seems to have turned back his attention to the lecture, but she, whose eyes are really struggling to leave his side profile, notices how he throws her some side glances every now and then.

Soon enough, class is over and seeing fellow students around her starting to gather their belongings, she snaps out of the spell she seems to have fallen under. Suddenly, she remembers what’s gonna come next if she doesn’t get out immediately. Grabbing her backpack, which has been left untouched since she wasn’t in the right state of mind to take notes, she looks at Ekko, who is in the middle of putting his notebook away.

“I’ll see you later, yeah?”

She doesn’t wait for an answer - or for him to register her words, really - weaving her way through the other students to rush out of the lecture hall. She hears him calling her name from behind her, but she doesn’t stop, quickly thinking of a good hiding place. Library? Too predictable. But they wouldn’t be able to hold a proper conversation there, another part of her argues. Caught up in her own head, she doesn’t notice the figure coming from behind and crossing her path to block it. She almost crashes into him, but halts just in time. 

Ekko is looking down at her, jaw clenched, a fiery expression in his eyes. The fact that they’re merely inches apart doesn’t go unnoticed by her. She feels her knees go weak.

He lets out a hot breath, annoyed, and she tries to act nonchalant as the air hits her face “Will you stop doing that?”

She plays dumb “Doing what?”

He scowls “You know what. Running away from me”. She opens her mouth to shamelessly deny the accusation, but Ekko doesn’t give her the chance to. “Don’t even try to deny it. We need to talk and we’ll do it now ”.

She gapes and before she realizes what’s happening, Ekko’s taken her hand in his, dragging her through the campus halls. She doesn’t even care to watch where they’re going, too distracted by the contact of his skin with hers. Her grip on his hand tightens a little, quietly enjoying the feeling while she can. They end up in an empty Physics lab. 

As Ekko closes the door behind them, she turns to face him “If this is about your window, I told you I’ll pay for-”

“It’s not about the damn window” his voice is tight. “It’s about you, about what you did. Did you mean it?”

Straight to the point, then. He doesn’t give her the clemency of circling around the matter. That’s more her game anyways. He’s looking at her expectantly, gaze sharp but no longer upset. He’s waiting for something, something specific, but she doesn’t know what. She takes the safest course of action. 

“Look, Ekko, I was just thinking about some stuff and suddenly I remembered how disappointed you were about missing the concert and my drunk brain told me that as your friend it would have been nice of me to give you a low-budget personal concert”. She pauses, “That’s it”

He’s studying her face, searching for something.

“As my friend” he repeats slowly, leaning closer almost imperceptibly. She’s hyper aware of every movement he makes though, and her breath catches for a second before she forces herself to nod, staring into his brown eyes.

“Yeah, obviously” she chuckles. He purses his lips and nods, brown eyes briefly leaving her blue ones and flicking lower, before capturing her gaze again. It’s so quick she almost misses it. Her heart skips a beat.

He takes a step closer, his fingers lightly tracing the tattoos on her bare arm, and shivers run down her spine. She averts her gaze down, where he’s touching her.

“You know, that was the most romantic thing a friend ever did for me. Or anyone, for that matter” he muses.

Genuine amusement molds the laugh she lets out “ That was the most romantic thing someone’s done for you?”. She looks back up and he’s smiling and he’s so, so close . When did they get this close? “Your friends or anyone need to do better”.

His lips are on hers in a second, his hands circling her waist and bringing her body flush to his making her gasp in the kiss. His lips are moving against hers, hot and insatiable, and as soon as she gets past her surprise, she returns the kiss just as passionately, looping her arms around his neck. If the kiss they shared as children was short and awkward, this is the exact opposite, a meeting between flame and fuse. And oh, Jinx has always loved explosions. As her fingers move to tug at Ekko’s dreads, his hands slide down to her hips, squeezing, and the soft moan he lets out against her mouth is so delicious. When she feels his teeth grazing her bottom lip, she loses it; she lays her hands on his chest, pushing him backwards until his back hits the wall, their lips never parting. Jinx deepens the kiss, slipping her tongue into his mouth and a fight for dominance starts, both of them unrelenting as their tongues dance together. Eventually, they part to catch their breath, chests heaving against each other. When she reopens her eyes, the first thing she sees are his plump lips, thoroughly kissed.  

I did that. We actually kissed , she thinks in disbelief, her mind still clouded from the kiss.  She feels so warm; just being around Ekko is like bathing in sunlight, but kissing him is something else entirely. She wonders if Icarus felt such heat when he got so close to the sun before disastrously falling. Because that’s what she’s doing, isn’t she? She’s falling. But at least now she knows Ekko will be there to catch her.

Ekko’s eyes are fixed on hers, the black of his pupils swallowing his irises, and there’s an adorable blush coloring his cheeks. She’s mesmerized, once again.

When her brain starts working again, she blurts out the first thing that comes to her mind.  “Can’t believe the serenade actually worked”, her tone impressed. “Wait, did Vi seriously send you the video?”

He blinks a few times, then breaks into a warm laugh “That’s what you have to say after that kiss?”. He shakes his head at the way she shrugs, exasperated but the fond smile hasn’t left his lips. “And yes, she did” 

She groans, burying her face into his neck and breathing in his scent. “Damn it”

His collarbone reverberates from his snickers “That reminds me, you’re lucky Benzo slept through it all, but the neighbours didn’t. Actually, I think Mr Singed filed a report for vandalism”

She scoffs “Always knew he’s an old grumpy asshole”

“Eh, I don’t know. He did it for me” he teases.

“Shut up” she grumbles, before yanking the collar of his shirt and pulling his face to hers, effectively shutting him up.