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“Fef, why are we wasting our time here? If we don’t get back soon, Gl’bgolyb’s gonna start gettin’ hungry,” Eridan grumbled, leaning against the back of their private viewing box with a flawless and well-rehearsed air of boredom.
“Shh, Eridan!” Feferi hushed him, waving his comment away impatiently. She was watching the auction. She already had three new additions to the small crowd of attendants hovering about her, and she watched as they brought a new round of slaves to the block. She surveyed them each briefly, watching for grievous flaws and imperfections, listening to the emcee for harmful or exploitable psychic abilities. This was always the most difficult part of the slave auction. She could not save every slave, so she had to pick and choose her battles, bidding highest on the poor souls who needed her help the most. She had learned long ago to ignore Eridan, who always sat at the back, making noises of disgust every time she managed to buy a pathetic new troll to serve her. He considered them all useless, and some of them nearly were, but Feferi always found some way to employ them.
But Eridan was right. If she didn’t get back to Alternia soon to feed her lusus, she would start to get irritable. This would have to be the last round tonight, so she needed to make it count.
One of the slaves in particular caught her eye. She squinted, hardly daring to believe what she saw. “Eridan,” she called over her shoulder, and he grudgingly strolled over to her. She pointed to the slave, a man with two pairs of horns and a grim expression. “Is that Sollux?”
He started and leaned forward, shielding his eyes from the glare of the bright stage lights. “Yeah, I think it is,” he said, surprise evident in his voice.
“How did Sollux end up in a slave block?” she asked.
“Fuck if I know,” Eridan said, shrugging. He narrowed his eyes. “You’re not gonna buy him, are you?”
“Of course I am!” she replied.
“Ugh, whatever, I’ll be waitin’ over here when you’re done flounderin’ away all your money.”
“How can you say that, Eridan?” she said with a huff as he returned to the back of the box. “He’s your friend, too!”
“None’a those land dwelling scum were ever my friends. I was just keepin’ an eye on them,” he said. “Look, do you see me consortin’ with any land dwellers now?”
She pouted. “I have a fishy feeling that you miss some of them more than you let on!”
“Well, your fishy feelin’ is wrong.”
She was about to continuing arguing with him, but the auctioneer started his chanting and her attention immediately snapped back to the stage. The first three slaves were escorted off the stage to their new owners, and then the bidding began on Sollux.
“What we have here, ladies and gentletrolls, is one of the most powerful psionics we’ve ever seen on the block,” the emcee announced as the auctioneer began rattling off prices. Feferi and several other trolls stood up in their viewing boxes, their attendants holding up their auction number. She watched Sollux, trying to make eye contact, but he kept his eyes lowered defiantly against the blaze of the stage lights. His price kept going up, but the emcee continued to talk up his psychic abilities and her competitors held their ground. She stayed standing as well, nodding at her attendant to continue holding up her number. She heard Eridan groan as the price spiked higher than all the other trolls she had bought, but she ignored him again. This was a special case, and she was not willing to back down, no matter the material cost.
Finally, the last competitor grimaced and sat down, his attendant lowering his number. “And soooooold to the troll princess, our next Imperial Condescension—if she survives, that is,” the emcee screamed into the microphone, and Sollux started, looking up for the first time. Feferi waved at him, grinning, and he stared back dumbly until a burly troll shoved him away, manhandling him off the stage.
“Let’s go!” Feferi said, leaping over to Eridan and dragging him unceremoniously out of the box. Her attendants mobbed after them, the senior trolls whispering advice and commands to the newer members.
She rushed down the hallway, Eridan in tow, intercepting the troll that was leading Sollux to her. “Sollux!” she exclaimed, throwing her arms around him. Confusion was written clearly on his face, and the troll escorting him looked equally baffled. “Thank you, that will be all!” she said to him, releasing Sollux and waving him away. The troll bowed slightly and left.
“If you’re done with this sickenin’ show of affection towards this finless sludgeblood, can we please leave?” Eridan asked, regarding Sollux coldly.
“Would you calm your gills for once?” Feferi said. “Sollux and I have a lot of catching up to do!”
“You’ll be catchin’ up with a corpse bleedin’ mustard outta its ears if we don’t get back to Alternia to feed your lusus,” Eridan responded. She pouted and sighed.
“You’re right,” she admitted. Turning to Sollux, she smiled and said, “We’ll just have to talk on the way!”
“I honethly have no idea whath happening right now,” Sollux said, his bewilderment beginning to morph into irritation.
“You are now the property of royalty, that’s what’s happenin’ right now. So start actin’ like it and keep that nasty attitude’a yours in check,” Eridan said with a sneer.
“Eridan, he’s not my property,” Feferi said.
“Oh my cod, Feferi, yes he is,” Eridan snapped. “You just bought him.”
“And now I’m saying he’s not my property!” she snapped back.
“Wait, hold up a thecond,” Sollux interrupted. “Am I going to have to fly your ship? Becauth if I am, you can juth cull me now. I am so done with that bullthit. Stheriouthly, I will throw mythelf into the black void of sthpathe if I have to be a brain-engine for another ship.”
“No, of course not! You don’t have to do anyfin you don’t want to do,” Feferi said. Smiling, she took his hand and said, “That’s not why I bought you anyways. I missed you!”
“Fef, you’re gonna spoil him. He has to know his place!” Eridan snapped, prying her hand from his.
“How about you mind you own glubbing business, Mr. Meddlefins McAngergills!” she spat, grabbing Sollux’s hand back and turning, announcing to her attendants, “To the ship!” Without another word, she set off down the hall, pulling Sollux along with her. Looking over his shoulder, Sollux caught a glimpse of Eridan’s fierce scowl before they turned the corner.
“God, what’th hith deal?” he asked. “Ith it me, or ith he worsth than he wath on Alternia?”
“I don’t know,” Feferi said with a sigh. “It’s always exaggerated emotional theatrics with him! I thought he would grow out of it, but it’s only gotten worse.”
“Damn, and I thought I had it rough. Any job ith easthier than dealing with that athhole,” he said. “You sthould really conthider getting a better moirail, I mean sthit.”
“It’s a tough job, but someone has to keep an eye on him,” Feferi responded with a shrug. She looked at him, smiling. “Don’t let him reel you into his drama. You’re a free troll on my ship.”
“Thankth. Stheriouthly, you don’t know how good that sthoundth,” he said, smiling back.
She grinned and laughed. “Sollux, I’m so glad I found you, I can hardly contain my excitement! I didn’t know if I’d ever see you again!”
“I don’t even know why you’d care,” he replied, but his smile lengthened as well, “but thankth. I mean, fuck, who am I kidding, thith ith the betht thing that could have happened. If it weren’t for you I would be sthuck in another nooksthtain’s hull zapping what’th left of my mutant brain on meaningleth mental labor. Stho it’th pretty sthweet I don’t have to do that anymore.” And then, blushing lightly, he added, “And let’th fathe it, I’d rather be with you than almotht anyone elth in the galackthy.”
“You’re so glubbing cute,” she said, laughing.
He was going to reply, but one of Feferi’s attendants jogged ahead of them and bowed low, stuttering, “Um, your highness, I’m terribly sorry to interrupt...” He held out an open husktop with an active trollian window. “It’s from, uh...centaursTesticle.”
“Equius?” Feferi asked, stopping to read the screen. “He never talks to me. Hmm...”
“What ith it?”
“He wants to know if I’d let Aradia accompany me to Alternia on my next visit,” she stated, rereading the message with a slight frown. “Nepeta is missing, and he’s sending Aradia to search for her.”
“Oh, sthit, Nepeta’th mithing?”
“I guess so,” she said, and they exchanged glances. Speaking to her attendant, she said, “Tell him that it’s fine and set up a rendezvous point.” The attendant bowed low and turned away with the husktop.
“Doeth thith mean we get to sthee Aradia?” Sollux asked.
“It shore does seem that way!”
“Fuck yeth, thith ith awethome! I haven’t heard from her in monthth!”
“My princess,” another attendant greeted her, approaching with a bow, “Lord Eridan would like to send the message that he will be taking his own ship ahead to Alternia to gather food for your lusus.”
“Was he angry?” she asked.
“Uh...yes, I would say so, your highness.”
She sighed. “There he goes again, hopping overboard with his emotions. He’s always carping and carping on and on and on...”
But Sollux was overjoyed. “Hell fucking yeth, thith ith the betht day ever! No Eridan, I get to sthee Aradia, I’m not a fucking brain sthlave anymore, and, betht fucking thing, I get to be with you for good! Well,” he said, checking himself quickly, “if you don’t mind putting up with me. Honethtly I don’t know why you would, but if you wanted to...”
“Of course I do!” Feferi said with a laugh. “But,” she added with a sly smile, “everyone on my ship has a job to do, so don’t think you’re getting a free ride, mister!”
“Oh...” Sollux said, his face falling.
“Lucky for you, I have an opening in my red quadrant for someone with just your qualifications,” she said.
He looked stunned, and a grin slowly crept onto his face. “That’th a job I can actually do. I’ll try not to fuck it up too badly.”
“I think you’ll do swimmingly,” she said, taking his hand and giving him a small, affectionate kiss on the cheek.