Chapter Text
It was Monday morning and Rentarou awoke from his good night's sleep to be excited about another wonderful day with his girlfriends. His eyes shot wide open and he leapt out of bed.
"Yaaahoooo!!! I can't wait for another day with my love-love-lovely girlfriends. I wonder what kind of fun adventures await us today."
Rentarou had 32 girlfriends at this point and was very nearly a third of the way towards meeting all 100 of his fated soulmates. But everyday with each of the girlfriends he already has been incredible. Being around indescribably amazing people who he loved more than God loves his creation everyday was sure to make Rentarou the happiest man alive. This didn't come from nothing, however. Everyday he makes sure to make his girlfriends the happiest girls in the entire world and has dedicated his entire being to it. Everything he does is for the sake of his girlfriends.
Rentarou took off his T-shirt he sleeps in and put on his iconic navy blue suit with red tie in one fell swoop and then went to the bathroom to brush his teeth and comb his hair. After that, he dashed to his kitchen and watched as his toaster toasted toast. He put it in his mouth has he repeated that classic romcom anime cliche where he runs like a madlad with toast in his mouth because apparently that's a thing. He won't meet his 33rd soulmate by doing that however as it hasn't been 9 chapters yet but it still feels like a good luck charm nonetheless.
'I gotta get to school early so I can get some gardening work done.' Rentarou thought to himself.
Well, that would explain why our hero is in a rush. If you're anime only, you've only seen small glimpses into how much of a Love Monster he could be but this is yet another example of how Rentarou goes above and beyond at all times for his girlfriends.
Upon arriving at school, he swallowed up all his toast and walked through the front gate. After setting foot in, he was immediately stopped by a familiar morally questionable character.
"Hey kid, school doesn't start till 8."
"Oh, Vice Principal. I'm here to work on the garden. Wait, didn't Hahari-san fire you?"
"Nah. Since that previous fan fiction is a mostly self contained story, the chairwoman decided against it under a ridiculous condition I must follow."
"Nothing Hahari-san says or does is ridiculous." Rentarou deadpanned.
"But she said I can't kiss students unless we're in love with each other. But she kisses students all the time so that's bullshit."
"Well that's because she's in love with them. I've never seen Hahari-san kiss anyone other than myself or my other girlfriends."
"Wait. Girlfriends? Plural girlfriends? So those rumors about a Love Monster with a lot of girlfriends living in this town are true? Those girls who hang out with you on the rooftop nearly everyday are your girlfriends?"
"Yes."
The Vice Principal then took out her phone prepared to spend her life savings on gigolos. If she gets fired over having a harem of gigolos at school, then she would have to go to her 2nd choice when it comes to professions which is being the world's greatest Cloaker. At least she would be around hunky police dudes all the time as well as make out with hunky bank robbers.
Rentarou left the Vice Principal to her own devices as he went to the garden where he harvested all the crops and replanted different types of crops in different places than before as well as different types next to each other because according to Minecraft, that will make things grow faster. Since this doesn't involve anything Rentarou's girlfriends are currently doing, I don't really feel the need to look up how crop rotation works in order to properly write this paragraph, thus allowing me to properly portray his girlfriends as characters. The manga breaks the 4th wall so well that I feel like if I insult one of Rentarou's girlfriends in real life, Rentarou will leap out of my computer screen and kick my ass.
After Rentarou was done replanting the crops to be harvested again soon because the manga has been stuck in a perpetual Spring season for multiple years at this point, Mai came to school to take care of Momoha and her tent because she is pretty useless when it comes to that sort of thing when drunk which is basically all the time. But who cares? Irresponsible drunk women in anime and manga just hit different. The first thing she noticed was Rentarou sweating up a storm in his iconic navy blue suit. After seeing Saki, it's pretty clear uniforms aren't enforced at Ohananomitsu. Or perhaps the rule is that it has to be A uniform but not THE uniform. But be that as it may, Mai wasn't about to let her boyfriend walk around all day drenched in sweat even if it's technically legal.
"Ahem. As my dear sister's dear boyfriend, you should not walk around with your suit drenched in sweat. Take it off and I'll wash it for you." demanded Mai as she looked away from Rentarou.
Rentarou looked down and saw that he was indeed soaked. He took out his phone and saw that today's date is June 9th.
"Man, the writer couldn't help it. Just had to put a 69 joke in here didn't ya? But yesterday, it was May 17th so I guess it explains why it's suddenly hot out today."
"I think it's better if we just let this slide. As a result, I have all the time in the world to perfect my skills as a maid and nail the certification test next year. Now take off your clothes."
Rentarou complied with the innocuous request from his tsundere maid girlfriend and took off all of his clothes except for his underwear. But at the sight of his gigachad body, Mai realized that this wasn't going to pan out as she hoped.
'Fuck... Rentarou is too freaking hot. His six pack is fully showing now...' Mai was gushing over Rentarou in her thoughts. 'I fully understand why Hakari was doing those things last night after I accidentally walked into her room rather than my own while thinking about my dear sister.'
"Mai? Are you OK?" asked Rentarou, snapping her out of it.
While she was lost in her thoughts, her face was flushed and she was drooling but now she's even more flushed. She draped Rentarou's shirt, pants, blazer, and tie over her shoulder and covered her face as she walked past him.
"I-I wasn't thinking about how much of a hunk you are, Rentarou-san. Why would I be attracted to a man who lusts for my d---"
*WHOOSH*
Needless to say, she tripped. Also needless to say, Mai would be the best otome game protagonist of all time if given the chance due to stuff like this. Kind of like how Rentarou is already the uncontroversial best harem protagonist of all time.
Rentarou caught her by her shoulder before she fully stumbled forward and spun her around.
*THROB*
"I'm sorry I made you see me like this, Mai. There's a washing machine in the home ec. room, right? I should wash my own clothes if this is making you uncomfortable."
Mai's mind figuratively melted at this point. She got really close to Rentarou and hugged him tight with one arm and used her free hand to push his head towards her own. Then she proceeded to French kiss him and make out with him harder than she ever has before. After separating she said "I HAVE TO ACT LIKE THIS BECAUSE I'M MADLY IN LOVE WITH YOU. I HATE IT BUT I LOVE LOVE LOVE IT!!!"
Giving herself a few seconds to regain her composure, she acted like nothing happened and went back to her normal self.
"Since you're my dear sister's boyfriend, I'll get your suit clean. Helping Momoha isn't part of the job description and I'm not even being paid overtime for this." Of course Mai doesn't really mean any of that because she said all of that as she was opening Momoha's tent. "Ugh, you're such a slob. I can't believe you spilled sake all over your tracksuit. That doesn't even make sense because you have to be drunk to reasonably do something like that but you have to get it in your mouth to be drunk to begin with."
A few seconds later, Rentarou was sitting next to Momoha in her tent while still wearing nothing but his underwear and Momoha was now wearing just a bra and her tracksuit pants.
"Huh? Mai forgot to take this thing?" Momoha said as she fondled her breasts.
"Nah, you didn't get anything on it."
"Eh, I'm sh-till gonna have her wash it anyway."
Momoha took off her sports bra and was about to leave her tent to catch up to Mai in order to give it her before she puts her and Rentarou's clothes in the wash. Rentarou had to think of a way out of this jam but Momoha dashed out of the tent. Drunks are fast now apparently and you're just gonna have to accept that because there is no one available to setup a cutaway gag for the explanation.
'I can't have Momoha potentially show off her breasts to someone she doesn't love but I also don't want her to not be able to have her bra washed. THINK! THINK!' Rentarou thought to himself for a few seconds until he had the solution. 'I got it! I just need something stretchy.'
Rentarou scanned through anything that is simultaneously stretchy and also worthless so it can be used for this idea of his and of course there was nothing because nothing Momoha owns is worthless. That was until Rentarou looked down and saw his underwear. Ecchi fanservice even applies to the harem protagonist himself this time around. Rentarou took off his underwear but luckily his dick was censored naturally because you can't show penises in Japan unlike nipples which are A-OK. It's rather concerning that genitalia gets censored automatically which shows that the world is heading towards a Shimoneta scenario but that one is going to have to wait.
Rentarou took black spray paint he randomly found near the tent and painted his tighty whities black before stretching them out and flinging them in front of Momoha's tits so they get censored. As the AO3 writer, I'm not sure whether to set this to 'Mature' or 'Explicit' at this point. But at least no one will see Momoha's nipples and that's the important part.
"Phew. Now I no longer have to worry about perverts zinging with my girlfriend's chest." said Rentarou as he ignored his predickament. "I do wonder if the readers will find this funny or if they'll click off. It is the author's 2nd attempt at writing this fan fiction after all."
"Hey shilly, ya forgot my sports bra ya shilly goose." said Momoha as she caught up to Mai.
"..."
"What? Doesh the cat got yer tongue?"
Momoha suddenly received a text from Tama saying "No. Cats don't take tongues."
"Me allowing you to wear a black rectangle like that would be unbecoming of a maid. Honestly, do you even care what you wear? You wear clothes, not shapes."
"I'm shorry but would ya please wash my bra?"
"Fine. But least let me take off that black thing."
"Are you sure ya want to shee my boobies?"
"You seriously have nothing else to wear except for that?! Wait, I should know because I cleaned your tent numerous times and never found any other outfits." groused Mai.
"Hahaha... that school issued tracksuit ish all I gots."
"Don't you still have that gothic lolita outfit or the gakuran from previous chapters? You gotta have something. I know Ohananomitsu is a silly school and not a serious school but your students are gonna laugh at you if you wear a black rectangle to your job."
"Oh yeeaaaahhh... I bet those on red and guess what? It landed on black!"
"Ugh, at this rate you're gonna bet your kidneys. I can't tell if this is supposed to be comedic or sad. Give me some of that sake because I'm gonna need it if I gotta deal with you for even 30 more seconds."
Before Mai could get wasted, Momoha drunkenly kissed her. "I love it sho much when you complain about how much of a slob I am. That's our character dynamic and I'm all for it."
Flushed, Mai stammered "W-w-what are you doing, Momoha?" but she then remembered how appreciative she really is of her and said with a shrug "Well, it's thanks to you that I'm able to keep up with my dear sister. Now give me that black rectangle."
After Mai took off the black rectangle, Momoha's nipples were revealed. She then swept two strands of Momoha's hair to the front in order to cover them up.
"Sheesh, that isn't much better. Go back to your tent before anyone else sees you."
"Awww come on, let's just do the laundry together."
"Nope. The manga doesn't normally show anything so I don't know what the consequences would be if someone saw you like this."
"You're right." Momoha replied in a rare moment of seriousness. "I don't want to fuck anyone unless it's you or Rentarou." And typical Momoha is back.
The real reason Mai and Momoha get along so well is because they are always thinking about one thing. Mai is far more hedonistic than she wants to admit.
Meanwhile, Rentarou walked out of the locker room near the pool with his school issued speedo.
"Welp, guess I gotta wear this until Mai finishes the laundry."
I know what you're thinking. Let's just say that Rentarou doesn't have gym class today so he doesn't have his tracksuit with him right now.
Suddenly a female pimp rushed towards Rentarou and tried to strike him down with her cane (no zing, thank God). He dodged right on time by doing a backflip onto his hands and spun to kick the cane out of the pimp's hands.
"Eh, you fucking manwhore, get back with the rest of 'dem gigolos." ordered the lady pimp wearing a gaudy purple suit and large hat with a feather.
"What?!"
"You heard me, bitch boy. Now go fuck that Principal lady or I'll slap you, hoe."
"Since when does Sukisugi have a prostitution problem?"
"Only speak when you spoke to, bitch boy." the pimp said as she tried to slap Rentarou. But he caught her hand.
"There appears to be a misunderstanding. I'm not one of your gigolos."
"That's fucking bullshit. Now unhand your pimp or you're dead."
Rentarou was willing to be lenient because none of his girlfriends are in danger but this woman was extremely rude.
"Here's what you're going to do. You're going to announce to your gigolos that they're free to go after you give them enough money to not have to be prositutes anymore. Am I clear?" demanded Rentarou with a terrifying look in his eyes.
"Y-y-y-y-y-yes, sir."
"Good. This is supposed to be a nice town for my girlfriends' well-being. Now go."
A few seconds later, the Vice Principal rushed towards Rentarou and tackled him to the ground.
"What. Did. You. Do?" You know she's mad because she is only saying one word per sentence.
"I knew you were involved in that. Did you bring the female pimp and her gigolos here?"
"Duh. If I can't have a lot of boyfriends then why should I let you have a bunch of girlfriends?"
Aw shit, she said something that can be loosely interpreted as a threat against Rentarou's girlfriends. Here's where the action starts. Remember to watch your wording, kids.
Rentarou pushed the Vice Principal off of himself and kipped up. "Those aren't boyfriends, those are gigolos. You can't just pay people to love you."
"Oh that's bullshit. I bet the chairwoman is just your sugar mama."
"That's not true in the slightest. I love Hahari-san for the woman she is. Not because she is rich and owns a mansion. She's extremely kind, loves her family, and gushes over cute things. And the amount of other things I love about Hahari is well into the hundreds of septillion figures. Do you have any idea how INSULTING what you said is?!"
"Then take back what you said about my boyfriends, playboy."
"Fine. Those guys are your boyfriends, not gigolos. It's not like prostitution is fake love or anything. If everyone consents and they take your money, it's legit."
"Good. Now don't lay your hands on your Vice Principal ever again or I'll give you a kiss." '... on your cock in front of your girlfriends. Just because you saved the world from a malevolent God in the last fan fiction and do teachers' shit for them doesn't mean you own the place, you fucking entitled brat.'
"It seems we got off to a bad start. I just don't want a character like the Principal from To Love-Ru or Mr. Kimura from Azumanga Daioh running around in this school. Though I guess the genders would be swapped." Rentarou apologized.
"You say that as if this isn't already a pedophile manga in the eyes of your typical anime tourist. If 100 GFs gets a 3rd season, I just know people are gonna throw a shit-fit over Chiyo."
"Hahaha, funny funny. I don't care. Anybody who says stupid things about my girlfriends is just spouting nonsense that shouldn't be taken seriously."
Rentarou started to walk away. There is still one hour left until class starts and since there is no reason for any of his girlfriends to be here right now, there is no real reason not to fast forward.
"That's not true. Maybe Iku is practicing baseball right now." said Rentarou.
But the story needs to progress.
"Stop acting like you're omnipotent, narrator. You just exist to explain things in words because this is a fan fiction and not one of Nozawa-sensei's manga illustrations to convey what is happening."
_________________________
Fast forward to the start of the school day, Rentarou got his uniform back on time and waited at his desk for homeroom and then Japanese class.
"Wait... Did they skip that?!" Rentarou mused out loud. "No. We do things at our pace. I don't care if anyone says this is pointless filler. I'm going to see if Iku is practicing baseball."
_________________________
Rentarou went to the baseball diamond and saw Iku practicing baseball. She was doing practice swings which is what she usually does before school starts. But there is no big baseball game coming up soon so she didn't stay up all night practicing like that one time.
"Hey Iku, how's baseball practice going?"
A pitching machine was shooting fastballs and Iku was allowing them to hit her. No practice swinging today it would appear.
"Take your base." said a disembodied voice.
"Oh. Doesn't that hurt?" asked Rentarou.
"Yeah. It feels amazing." replied Iku. "Last night I played Oh! That's a Baseball with Rin and she kept pitching the balls at my characters."
"So you wanted to try it out in real life. Makes sense."
Rin showed up, ready for some violent baseball action.
'I think these two made their own version of baseball.' Rentarou thought to himself.
Another fastball came out of the pitching machine but it went slightly off course. The fastest fastball a machine can produce. It's almost like being shot by a cannonball from a cannon on a pirate ship with cannonballs and cannons.
*GULP*
Iku took this chance to get her butt hit by the baseball since it was lower than usual but the force was enough to launch her back. Reacting on time, Rin let out a devious smile with her own baseball bat in hand.
"HOMERUN!!!" said the same disembodied voice after Rin hit Iku with a Black Flash from the hit fighting game Super Smash Bros. Ultimate and launched her.
"Molto Violento." said Rin before noticing Rentarou was there. "Oh, good morning, Rentarou-senpai."
Iku got launched outside the confines of the school property lot and landed a couple blocks away. She was basking in her pain while drooling but Momiji happened to show up at that area right at that time.
"Iku-san. At this rate, you will never be able to walk again. I'm going to grope you even if you don't want it."
"NOOOOOO!!! I want to keep my muscle pain!!!"
"Sorry, did I say grope? I meant massage."
In just one touch, Iku was fully healed.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! WHY GOD, WHY????"
_________________________
Back to Rentarou and Rin, Hasuha showed up because she detected the scent of members of her family.
"Hasuha-chan!" cheered Rentarou.
"Good morning Hasuha-senpai." said Rin. "I've been meaning to ask this but can you detect the smell of blood?"
"Of course. I've already deduced that Rentarou is... WHOA!!! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU? Wait. I can smell the distinct scent of a baseball that was briefly burning."
While this conversation was going on, Rentarou got hit in the face with a baseball going terminal velocity because Iku never turned off the machine. He broke his nose. Or perhaps not because the mere presence of his girlfriends healed him. But that obviously won't despawn blood.
"Molto..."
"I'm fine."
"*SNIFF* *SNIFF* *SNIFF* Rentarou! That pitching machine over there is from the Serious Group. I can tell because it smells like it was manufactured in the same facility that processes cocaine."
'How does she know what cocaine smells like?' Rentarou thought to himself as a bead of sweat trickled down his face.
The machine fired again but Rentarou managed to react on time and put on a baseball glove. He caught it while being pushed back due to the sheer force of the ball. He then pitched it back towards the off switch to turn off the machine. But it's Serious Group. If you could turn it off then it wouldn't be serious now would it?
"Sorry Serious Group, but I'm serious about making sure someone doesn't get hit by a lethal fastball. Even more serious about it then you are about your stupid nonsense."
Rentarou pulled out his gun and shot the pitching machine, destroying it.
"MOLTO VIOLENTO!!! I didn't know you had a gun!"
"Of course I have one. In Ms. Naddy's class, I learned about this American thing called the 2nd amendment where the government allows you to own a gun. Though, it's not like I need its permission to protect my girlfriends."
"CONGRATULATIONS!!! YOU BEAT THE PITCHING MACHINE!!! HERE'S YOUR PRIZE."
The pitching machine got back up and started firing pellets of Big League Chew.
"Did you honestly think shooting me with a gun would stop me. I'm from the Serious Group."
Rentarou caught the Big League Chew in his mouth and blew a bubble around himself and his girlfriends to protect them from being shot.
"THIS GUM SMELLS SO GOOD!"
The machine then shot a sharp peanut shell to break the bubble.
"It's useless. Submit to a fate of getting hit by fastballs, you fucking ryouna obsessed pervert."
Rentarou walked up to the machine with a mysterious force deflecting every projectile it could think to launch. He then hit it with a baseball bat with maximum force, destroying it once and for all.
'Oh. So that's why I've never seen him paddling Iku before.' Rin thought to herself. The other reason is that Rentarou is vehemently opposed to hitting his girlfriends which is why he never fired his water gun in the zombie nurse tag chapter or why he has never trained with Kishika or Eira.
The machine had a dramatic explosion with loud noises and fire like a Transformers movie.
'Note to self. Make sure the Serious Group isn't mass producing Decepticons.' Rentarou internally mused.
_________________________
[Good morning] [Rentarou-kun] [aniki-san.] said Shizuka's phone after she showed up to class.
"Hey Shizuka-chan. I already read the newest Circlet Love Story book. Man, it was great. Oh yeah and I also read another book called Drips of Winter Nights. I feel like I'm a changed man."
Shizuka's cheeks glowed a bright red.
"Shizuka? Are you OK?"
[Oh no, bro!] [The knight] [knows of her forbidden pleasure.]
Flashback to the night Rentarou read this book. He just sat and read it as if it was a normal thing. Rentarou isn't the kind of guy to get flustered over a sapphic relationship. Besides, yuri is the pinnacle of culture.
"Oh, I see. I guess that book was kind of graphic. I'll let the readers imagine what happened in it."
SESBIAN LEX SESBIAN LEX SESBIAN LEX I MEAN LESBIAN SEX.
"I shouldn't have brought up a book which makes you feel so awkward, Shizuka-chan. That's my mistake. We all have our reactions that sort of content."
Flustered, Shizuka handed over Drips of Winter Nights 2 to Rentarou.
[Please don't worry about me, son] [She is] [the embodiment of culture.]
Don't interpret any of this as 100 Kanojo being a yuri series. Because it isn't. Probably.
"Circlet Love Story: The Servant Tale was good too. Did you finish it yet?"
Shizuka nodded.
"Man, I can't believe the servant loves the princess despite the fact he knows she's already with the knight. I swear, we made the harem genre more popular."
Suddenly one of the characters from the book jumped out of the book and landed in the classroom.
"Thank you for being the most loyal customer for the Circlet Love Story series. Please get isekai'd into our world as your reward."
"OK, this is weird. Even for 100 Kanojo standards." said Rentarou.
[Rentarou-kun] [Is this what happens] [when one] [is completely and utterly defeated?] [Personally, I didn't get a visit from Mr. Sandman last night.]
"Yeah. This guy is real."
"Oh come on, man. Don't you want to become the eminence in shadow or an androgynous slime guy or something? You already have a harem so it would work."
"I prefer not to refer to my girlfriends as my harem."
"We all read 100 Kanojo in our world. Doesn't your girlfriend Meru enjoy fairy tales? You would make her sad if you didn't go to the fairy tale world?"
Rentarou dialed up Meru.
"Hey Meru-san, are isekai fairy tales?"
"No. They are usually either cheap power fantasy knockoffs of fairy tales or Pokemon Mystery Dungeon."
"Let's just suppose they are for a moment. Would you want to get isekai'd?"
"No. Getting hit by a truck would bring forth true despair."
...
"Well shit. You've got me there. I'll just go find some even weirder Japanese teenager to isekai."
Over the course of the next ten minutes, the rest of Rentarou's girlfriends who share a class with him arrived and with it school started. Since the manga doesn't cover what goes on during class time, it's probably uninteresting. Unless Naddy is involved that is.
"Mornin' y'all, another fine day in Japanifornia, ya hear?" said Naddy as she arrived right when the bell rang.
"Good morning Ms. Naddy..." said the whole class in a monotone voice except for the members of Rentarou's Family who were more excited about it, well except for Nano obviously but that's just the way she talks. And she also said "Yamato Nadeshiko" rather than "Ms. Naddy." Though nobody paid attention to that little detail.
"Ah, I get it. It's Monday and most of y'all ain't fixin' to be here in this here school. Get excited cuz we're 'bout to learn about good ol' 'Murican freedom."
"Wait isn't this Japanese class?" uttered Seiji, a generic boy in the class.
"Huh? I thought this was Spanish the whole time." replied Shinji, the other one.
"Ah, Spanish. That's the language them there patriots of lower 'Murica speak, ya hear. It's its poca hijo Mexico. Arriba!!!!"
"Mexico is a completely different country from the United States." said Nano.
"Crap, if this wasn't a fan fiction, this would have been the perfect chance for Nozawa-sensei to draw Naddy wearin' a sombrero and pancho." said Karane. "I know I'm the straightman but it isn't like I dislike comedy or anything."
"CUUUUUUTTTTTEEEE!!! DON'T WORRY KARANE, MY IMAGINATION IS ENOUGH." gushed Rentarou.
"I was too busy experiencin' freedom this weekend to come up with a lesson plan for ya youngins so how about we just read some Samba de Amigo fan fiction today so y'all can learn 'bout lower America and Japan at the same time."
"As if this couldn't get any more unhinged. Big Cheese of Publishing Biz would never let this happen in canon material." said Karane.
"That just means I don't have to use 'mwhehehe' as a euphemism anymore." replied Hakari. "Also, in To Love-Ru, Rito can fondle his girlfriends all he wants and now Rentarou-kun will be able to."
"Come on. Don't compare Rentarou to that beast."
"You're our resident pettanko tsundere and you also have twin tails. We act like we didn't take a lot from To Love-Ru but we took a lot from To Love-Ru."
"For the love of God, please don't let this be a running gag like how Mei is basically Hayate The Combat Butler."
One day, Sonic, Amigo, Kiryu, and NiGHTS were at the bar, getting hammered until they were isekai'd into The King of The Hill world after they decided to have a kart race after. They got hit by a truck obviously and they were not pleased about it :(. When Dale saw these people, he started freaking out because all the conspiracy theories he believed were true because NiGHTS looks like an alien to his crazy brain. But luckily Hank isn't racist so he accepted Amigo as a new neighbor rather than hate him because he's an illegal. John Triden would hate his monkey Mexican ass because he is more racist than the KKK.
"Oh my... This fella ain't got no home trainin' to be bad mouthin' 'Murica like that." commented Naddy after the class read the first paragraph together. "It's the land of the free, ya hear. So it don't make a lick of sense that our amigo Amigo would not be acceptable."
"Hold on. Maybe there's a moral at the end. Even something like Berserk has morals. I think." replied Rentarou.
Amigo looked sad to be in Texas because he feels he isn't welcome but Hank shook his hand with the dignity of a true Texan.
"Well hello there, are you interested in hearing about propane or propane accessories?" asked Hank.
"Why yes, I would love to hear about propane AND propane accessories." replied Amigo.
"Propane? I'm outta here. I would rather run around and collect the Chaos Emeralds." said Sonic.
"What about you, son?" asked Hank to Kiryu.
"This is the craziest sub story I've ever fucking come across."
NiGHTS flew around the United States until he or she accidentally crashed into P...
"NOPE! We're not fucking reading this shit anymore." demanded Karane as she shot up from her desk.
"I uhhh... don't get any of this." said Meme to herself quietly.
"I actually kind of want to read this. It's bad, but maybe Hank and Amigo have sex." said Hakari, causing Meme to have to use all of her restraint not to misdirect and turn this fan fiction into an epic tale with multiple millions of words chronicling the journey to find her.
"This is absurd." deadpanned Nano.
Some of the generic NPC students uttered some lines but who cares about them?
Pearl Harbor.
That fan fiction was disrespectful to both America and Japan. Unbeknownst to them, it was written by that one guy with a mohawk who pretended to be the author of Circlet Love Story. Hey, at least he's actually writing his own stories now.
"What better way to start a fan fiction than to parody fan fiction itself?" said Rentarou.
"I'll tell you hwat, young monkey, I may not know hwat a samba is, but you've got the heart and soul of a true Texan. You and all your friends from Mexico are welcome to visit Arlen anytime." said Hank in the final paragraph.
"Gracias, Sr. Hank. I'll be sure to tell all mis amigos from Mexico and Brazil about this town and the true worth of propane and propane accessories." replied Amigo.
The two of them shook hands and the fan fiction ended.
_________________________
Lunch time has finally arrived and nothing is going on with anyone at this time today so all 32 of Rentarou's girlfriends made it to the rooftop.
"So what kind of hijinks are in store for us today? No more Family Guy I hope. That show is obnoxious. I caught my siblings watching it last night and now they can't stop saying giggity giggity goo." Kishika brought up.
"Brian Edward The Dog-Griffin and Stewart Gilligan Suarez-Griffin would have fit in perfectly with our family dynamic if they had remained here." said Nano.
"One could say Meru has taken the role of Fouad as well. As a writer perhaps the most important thing is to explain the joke in a comedic work such as this." said Uto.
"Family Guy comedy is too sordid of a role for me to take. It is antithetical to what a fairytale is. I'll only explain the joke if it's related to a fairytale." replied Meru with one finger held up.
"I don't think I want to do Family Guy again. Besides, since aliens are real now, it's all about American Dad! thanks to the gay alien named Roger." said Rentarou.
"OOOOOHHHH, KUSURI GETS IT. Seth MacFarlane likes putting bisexual characters in his shows and us Rentarou's girlfriends are bisexual as well, yep yep. Naddy's American shows sure are funny." said Kusuri.
"So since the Hyakkano community believes this manga has yuri undertones, it's canon now?" asked Kishika.
"I am NOT into Hakari!" insisted Karane.
"You know what really grinds my gears? How come in Pokemon, Unown are all the letters and even a question mark and exclamation point but not numbers?" Suu randomly brought up.
"I dunno. I think it's cuz they like insist upon themselves." replied Ahko.
"Good lord, we haven't escaped the reign of the Family Guy yet, everyone. Non-sequiter humor is being used just like in the cartoon." said Kishika.
Ahko began scrolling through current trendy social media platform that Japanese people use but us westerners ignore and found a video about Sukisugi Elementary School posted 44 seconds ago.
"44!" Suu cheered in the background while holding up four fingers on each hand.
"Uhhhh... Kishikacchi. Is he your brother?"
"What? Let me see that."
The video on Ahko's phone depicted Kishika's younger brother dressed up in a New England Patriots jersey perfectly singing and dancing to Shipoopi from The Music Man. Not even Hahari is old enough to get that reference because she was born some ambiguous year 1990 or later. And if you ask Yaku, you'll get answered with "Sheep poop peed? as it's a little after her time as well as her not being versed in western media."
"Maaan, this new generation is totally crazy." said Ahko.
"Just be grateful it isn't Skibidi Toilet, Kishika-kouhai. At My Usual Haunt, the kids showed me an episode of it and I had no idea what was even happening. But that's a good thing cuz I've reached the age that I don't understand what kids like anymore." said Saki, smugly.
"I'm sorry you had to be reminded of that, readers." said Kurumi. "Unless of course you like that sort of thing. I don't know. I'm not judging."
"Hey, Nanopedia, do you have any context for these jokes?" asked Ahko.
"Family Guy is a hit television show known for jokes about pop culture from the 1980's. Its primary audience is too young to understand the jokes. However, it is still popular despite that."
"Oooooohhhh... So since the jokes are new to these kids, it's making a resurgence in meme culture?"
"No."
"Oh. OK then."
Meanwhile, Kishika, despite her best efforts not to cringe at her brother, failed.
"Don't worry about it, Kishika-tan. All children get older and move on to different TV shows. But you're different because you wuv Teddy Babies still don'chyou." said Hahari as she began coddling Kishika.
"I want SpunchBob. SpunchBob!"
"GAAAAHHHH!!! I LOVE SPONGEBOB!!!! HE'S TOO CCCCCCUUUUUUUTTTTEEEEEEEE BUH-BUH-BUH-BUH!!!"
"I like the one where Squidward accidentally pulls off his toenail using his couch. Molto violento." said Rin with her perverse grin.
"This is going on way too long. Let's just go and watch it so I can get hungry for a Krabby Patty." said Kurumi.
"I knew you would like Spongey-wongey-baby, Kurumi-chan. Then after we can watch that episode of Teddy Babies where they work at WcDonald's."
"You mean McDonald's. Don't mess with me when it comes to delicious food." Kurumi pouted as Hahari hugged her tightly.
There were about 35 minutes left in the lunch hour, giving time for that episode where Plankton invents a gas that turns other fish into babies and then that episode that Unambiguous Mr. Exit surely hates where Squidward hits his head and reverts to an infant's state of mind. As for Teddy Babies, the sheer craziness of that show warrants a one-shot in order to explain its appeal. Imagine Bear in The Big Blue House if all the characters were drug addicts along with weird sexual tension between a mother and her children. Oh wait, that's Hyakkano. But it's OK because it's cute and marketed towards kids unlike Hyakkano which while still being cute, is sensibly marketed towards adults.
"I never heard of this honored TV show before today. Pardon my impertinence but I believe that SpongeBob-sama the greatest show of all time." commented Mei after they finished.
"Oh great, even Mei's on board. Are we gonna be doin' a SpongeBob thing next, Rentarou?" asked Karane.
"I don't think so. I enjoyed Teddy Babies more anyway. I've watched that particular episode more than 50 times." replied Rentarou as they all exited the auditorium and the students went to their afternoon classes.
_________________________
It is now after school but no one in Rentarou's Family is meeting on the rooftop today because they all have some sort of plans. But luckily for Rentarou, he already had plans with Mei to accompany her to the annual servant convention. If you are a certified member of the butler or maid community, you get a coveted invite to such an awesome event and you even get to bring a guest. Mai technically is a certified bunny girl so she ended up taking Momoha to the bunny girl convention.
"We have arrived at the honored convention, Rentarou-sama." announced Mei as she parked the fancy Rolls Royce.
Rentarou saw the sheer scale of the convention center. Apparently, it's meant to host all the upper echelons of servants from all over the world.
"Are you sure I'm supposed to be here? I'm not a suave butler like all these guys in tuxedos."
"Rentarou-sama is my honored guest. As a platinum ranked maid, I have the privilege to entrust someone honorable to the world of servants. Maids are ones who serve but also work in the shadows of their master or mistress. If I may be bold, I am of the belief that they run the world. But I never cared about that because I love Hahari-sama too much."
"I suppose that makes sense if they are the ones running around, doing things on the behalf of their master or mistress. One of the reasons I love you is because you are devoted to Hahari-san so you would naturally embody her values."
'In the world of the affluent, Hahari-san has struck me as an outsider. Her money isn't a part of her personality at all. But online and on TV, I always see rich people flaunting their wealth and status while their servants act as silent background set pieces. I understand obedience but I've never seen it from Hahari-san. She spends her money on crazy things a lot but it's just for gags in the manga. Anyway, this is my best chance to learn as much as I can about affluent culture.' Rentarou thought to himself.
"Rentarou-sama?"
"Oh sorry, I guess I'm just a little bit nervous. I'm about to be surrounded by people of immense status."
"If that's the case then would you like to hold my hand? I understand that being thrusted into the world of affluence is rather daunting."
"Yes, Mei-san, I would love that!"
After exiting the car, Mei approached Rentarou and put her hand near his. She hesitated for a moment before gently grasping it.
*THROB*