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Cuddling your jacket closer to your chest, the dirt road ahead was only covered by a dingy and dusty orange road lamp that barely illuminated the area.
Chills ran through your body despite the warmth of your jacket and you clutched your arms together even tighter for added warmth. You knew better than to trust your friends to take you home the moment that they pre-gamed earlier that night— but they practically begged you to go out and you knew that it’d been way too long since you’ve had a girls night.
Despite your mild desire to go out, you knew that it would’ve been best to stay in since the girls kept griping about hooking up that night with the first cute guy that they would see when they got to the crowded bar.
As always, they convinced you that they wouldn’t abandon you at the bar, and like always, you believe them. Guess what happened.
Jessica disappeared the moment she got inside. Amber stayed around for a bit until she gravitated to grinding on a tall blonde on the dance floor. And Jenny was already making out with one of the bartenders in the bathroom.
Annoyed, mildly tipsy, and frustrated, you decided to just head home knowing that they were likely not going to be seeing you again that night and were likely to call tomorrow profusely apologizing, yet gaslighting you into how much of a prude you were or that you needed to get out more.
It’s not that you’re a prude- it’s just that you’ve lived that life a long time ago. And you were done with it. You enjoyed nights in with a cup of hot tea while marathoning your favorite movies. You liked to craft at home or bake a new recipe from that library cookbook that you didn’t get the chance to return yet.
The girl's criticisms still got to you though. Even though you knew that you were confident in your own ability to have fun and engage with the world— you couldn’t help but feel absolutely bored and vanilla.
If they only knew how untrue that really was…you made a commitment to yourself to live an abundant life once you left the world prior to this. But you couldn’t help but feel so alone.
You shivered once more as your boots sounded against the graveled dirt with every step you took forward. Cars would intermittently pass you with their high beam lights, and you felt safe enough considering it’s just the local street.
Seeing the Train Six Road sign up ahead, you tensed before taking a deep breath and continuing to move forward firmly. This part of town was unfortunately all too familiar, and you didn’t want to be in this neighborhood any longer that you needed to be. Especially considering the fact that he may be patrolling tonight.
It was like your mind manifested in real time your absolute misery as you heard the incoming car behind you. At first, you didn’t give it any thought— figured that it was another cab passing through. But once you noticed the headlight overcast growing as it got closer, and heard the car wheels start to slow into a gentle stop, you knew it was him.
You cursed under your breath as you didn’t even last two minutes until he caught wind of your presence (they had eyes everywhere). You also didn’t proceed to stop at all and continued to ignore him until he softly called out, “Get in, trouble. You’ll freeze out here.”
Releasing a loud scoff, you call out without looking back, “I told you to stop calling me that. And I was fine until you showed up, just pass by- I’m almost home.”
You continued walking and didn’t hear a response. A spark of curiosity fluttered as you heard the car door shut abruptly and footsteps moving towards you to match your pace until a bodied presence was next to yours.
Huffing out your frustration, you stopped to turn and face Curtis while crossing your arms.
“Curtis, seriously? Get back in your car!”
Completely ignoring the evident anger and annoyance that filled the cadence of your comment, Curtis merely smirked at you in response. “Dove, you know that’s not happening. Not sure why you think that.”
Releasing out another scoff, you rolled your eyes at the other despised nickname that rolled out of his annoyingly plump lips.
“I’m not your dove. Haven’t been for some time, or do you not recall?” Snark couldn’t be more palpable in your voice, albeit, the nerves trembled as they usually did around him. It’s like your body couldn’t help but react to him every time. You told yourself it’s the brutal combination of a cold winter and improper outside attire.
Curtis’ smirk persisted and you hated him for it, “C’mon, dove— we gonna play this game again tonight?”
You took in a deep breath and the frustration seemed to exhale out with your breath against the cold air. Your sigh echoed in the silent and dark trees around with a heaviness that came with the past.
Even though you and Curtis haven’t been in a relationship for a few months, it seems that you couldn’t completely shake the bastard. And you’d be lying to yourself if you didn’t still have feelings for him, but you didn’t want them.
Your relationship together was loving, intense, caring, sexy…but it was also possessive and weighed heavy on your heart. Curtis’ role as your brother’s enforcer always brought in constant arguments and a coldness that you were desperate to stay away from.
Andy may be your brother, and you love him, but the blind loyalty that Curtis has to him as his second— to do the things that he does, it’s not something that you want a part of your life forever.
At first, Curtis would just harmlessly flirt and tease you. It would be your little game for years, until he saved you from an incoming assassination attempt that was for Andy. Since then, Andy deemed Curtis to be your protector as an additional duty. The beauty of time and a little magic sparked something like a kinship between you two and the rest unfolded naturally. It was as if it was all meant to happen in the first place. An eventuality.
But the constant possessive behavior- his tendencies to be controlling, and to know that he’d go out every night to seek retribution for your brother's organization…cause he liked it and he was good at it…had you forced with the realization that you’d never leave the life with Curtis still in yours.
And therein lies you and Curtis, seeking to drift in and out together but never seemingly apart for too long. Of course, any opportunities to even move on from him were a lost cause.
You’ll never forget leaving a dinner date a few weeks after you and Curtis broke up— only to come out and see Curtis resting against the car door, outwardly casual and relaxed, but the storm swirling in his gaze told a different story. It was hazed with an intensity that left your date stumbling away from you suddenly with muffled excuses of “leaving the stove on”. Meanwhile, Curtis’ threatening gaze wouldn’t leave the man’s figure until he got into his car and drove off.
At first, you were angry. Rageful, even. You’d shout at him and push him, and Curtis would just take it. He’d capture your hands in his eventually and his blue eyes stormed over your presence with a light that wasn’t present moments before. It was that light that always had you accepting him back into your life.
When you meet a person who would do anything to protect you, want you, and need you— you wonder why you’d ever give that up in the first place.
Looking up into his mirthful gaze now under the ambient light, you felt the annoyance take a step back once again as that light seemed to shine brightly as you. It illuminated those spots in your heart that felt dark and alone. With him, you were never lonely.
That’s what had you notably huff and pout while turning back around to get into the car. Curtis reserved his smirk and kept his ‘told you so’s’ to himself as he filed in right behind you. The car ride to your place was quiet until you realized that he bypassed your street completely and went down the dirt road to his place.
“Curtis, why do you always do this? I trust you for one minute and then you pull shit like this? We are not together anymore. Why are you always testing this?” You didn’t even turn to look at him as you spoke resolutely. A frustrated kind of numbness settled in as he turned off the car to address you, “Dove, you can keep pretending you hate me, but I see it in your eyes. You’re mine—even if you won’t admit it."
His words filled you with a familiar dread and yet also toned into that dangerous excitement that only seemed to build as your eyes met his serious gaze. Hearing Curtis speak so candidly about you filled those spots in your heart that felt empty with longing.
And that’s what made you go into his house. Eat some dinner that he made you. And later, end up naked in his bed while he cuddled you to his chest intimately. It just never seemed to end.
The thing is, did you want it to?