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It was hard not to notice that Buck had a tendency to sleep around in a desperate attempt to get some form of the affection he craved. It wasn’t a problem when he had been on his own, when he could sleep around without anyone caring because no one knew him well enough to recognize it as the form of self harm it was.
Now, though, he had a family. People who looked at him closely whenever he started going to bars again when he was having a hard time, when he came in covered in hickeys the week after Eddie left the 118 the first time.
Luckily (or unluckily, really) for him, none of them were around that night.
Stumbling into Eddie’s house (Buck’s house, Buck’s house) with another man’s hands on his waist, tangling in his curls, running all over his back, was different than he had always imagined it would be. Not that he had imagined it, of course.
Tommy was strong and solid and firm in front of him, pushing him into a wall and keeping him there, hands drifting to the bottom of his shirt, brushing against the skin of his stomach.
“You want a tour?” Buck managed to gasp out, his eyes firmly shut as hands ran all along his body, leaving goosebumps in their wake. If he just didn’t look–
“Yeah,” came Tommy’s voice, still somehow irritatingly nasally despite the clear arousal in his tone. “Why don’t we start with the bedroom?”
Wordlessly, Buck grabbed at one of Tommy’s wandering hands, dragging the other man behind him towards Eddie’s– Buck’s– room. He dropped back onto the bed, grinning despite himself as the warm weight of Tommy followed him down.
For the first time since Eddie had left, he felt– settled. Like he could breathe, like–
“You look so good, Evan,” Tommy groaned, dropping down to shove his lips against Buck’s, cutting off the relieved breaths he had been taking. Buck kissed back for just a moment before pulling his head away, turning to the side to present his neck to the man on top of him.
Tommy ground his hips down against his, a steady heat rising in Buck’s stomach as their hard lengths rubbed against each other.
The weight on him was soothing, the arms pressing into his own grounding, the feeling of a flat chest against his just what he had been looking for.
If he closed his eyes, just felt everything around him, he could almost imagine it was–
“Eddie–”
Suddenly, everything stopped. Tommy pulled back, taking his comforting weight with him. Buck remained frozen, eyes finally reopening to stare into space.
Fuck.
“What did you just say?” Tommy asked, his voice cold.
“Uh,” Buck managed, gaze remaining unfocused on the wall to the side of the bed. He said Eddie. He moaned Eddie’s name while another man was pressing him into the bed in Eddie’s room, in Eddie’s house.
“Sounded like you just called me Eddie, Evan,” Tommy continued, sitting upright on his knees, separating their bodies entirely.
“I… might have,” Buck said, his brain feeling like it was buzzing. “It was an accident.” There was no way he just did that. It must have been an accident, some weird thought put into his brain from being in Eddie’s house. There was no way–
“Sounded like you just moaned your best friend’s name like he was the one that was about to fuck you, Evan.” As Tommy spoke, he climbed the rest of the way off of Buck, standing beside the bed to glare down at Buck.
Suddenly feeling small, Buck rushed to sit up, pulling his comforter over his lap. The shift in activities had largely gotten rid of his growing erection, but he wanted to cover his lap regardless.
“I’m sorry,” he said softly, looking up at Tommy, “I don’t– I don’t know what happened.”
“You know,” Tommy grumbled, pacing beside the bed, “I always thought– ‘one day, Eddie is going to swoop in and take Evan away from me.’ But he moved, and– I don’t know, I guess I thought we could actually work now. But you– you just can’t let him go, can you?”
“Sorry– what?” Buck stammered.
“I’m not stupid, Evan,” Tommy sneered at him, “I can see the way you look at him, the way he looks at you– you looked ready to fall to your knees in front of him during your dumb boils spiral–”
Buck raised his hands, his eyes widening. “Hey, c’mon Tommy–”
“No! What the hell is wrong with you, bring me back here? Did you just want to pretend it was Eddie’s cock in your ass–”
“Jesus, Tommy!” Buck yelped, ignoring the heat that was spreading down his neck and onto his chest. “Eddie’s straight!”
“Yeah, right.” Tommy rolled his eyes, adjusting his shirt as he searched the floor for his shoes. “Have a nice life, Evan.”
The door slamming made Buck jump, flopping back onto the bed with his eyes closed. He needed to talk to someone, try to make some sense of this, but for now–
He needed some damn sleep.
He didn’t have it in him to explain the situation to Maddie, Chimney would just laugh at him, Hen might be a little too real, Bobby was already going through something with his mom–
That left one option.
“You did what?” Eddie asked, his voice sounding faint over the phone.
Buck groaned, dropping his face into his hands. “I moaned your name! I don’t know why man, I just– Tommy said a bunch of stuff after– after. And I can’t work any of it out, and I know this is probably weird but I really need my best friend right now.”
“Alright,” Eddie said eventually, “did he– did you guys still sleep together?”
Eyebrows furrowing, Buck pulled his phone back to stare at the screen as if it would give him answers. “No, we– why does that matter?”
“So you didn’t?”
“No, but–”
“Okay, that’s good,” Eddie said, sounding oddly relieved.
Buck sank into the couch cushions, his fingers tapping on the back of his phone. “That’s– good?”
“Can’t believe you almost slept with another man in my house. Can’t believe you almost slept with Tommy in my house,” Eddie grumbled under his breath, so quiet Buck almost didn’t pick it up.
“Sorry, was I supposed to just remain celibate while you were gone?” Buck asked, desperately trying to ignore the implication that he wouldn’t be celibate if Eddie were there.
“You managed it before I left!” Eddie said frustratedly, his voice crackling through the phone speaker.
Blinking rapidly, Buck dropped his head onto the back of the couch. “Eddie, that is not the point!” he whined, “I need advice, man.”
“Alright, alright,” Eddie said, the smile on his face carrying through in his voice, “what’s going on?”
And– well. How the hell was he meant to explain this without Eddie getting weirded out?
“He sort of– implied that maybe me saying your name wasn’t really an accident?”
“Moaning my name, you mean?”
“Eddie, c’mon,” Buck whined, his face flushing at the teasing lilt to Eddie’s voice.
There was a quiet laugh through the phone, then: “Sorry! Continue.”
Buck closed his eyes, chewing at his lip for a moment. “That’s kind of it?”
“That’s it?” Eddie asked, amused, “he implied it wasn’t an accident and just… left?”
“I said it was an accident,” Buck said slowly, “and he– he said you don’t accidentally say someone’s name like that, and I told him you’re straight, but–”
“I’m not,” Eddie cut in, emptying Buck’s brain quickly and efficiently.
Eddie… wasn’t straight? No, he had to be. Their entire friendship Buck had found himself going down a line of thinking, only to always be stopped by ‘no, Eddie is straight, stop,’ but if he wasn’t….
Looking back, maybe Buck should have known he was bisexual sooner.
“Buck? You gonna say something?”
“You’re… not straight?” Buck asked slowly, a strange feeling growing in his chest.
Eddie snorted, shuffling sounds coming through the speaker as he adjusted. “I probably should have waited until I got back to LA,” he said sheepishly, “I just– it’s driving me kind of insane that you went out and nearly slept with that Cybertruck-looking man because you thought you couldn’t have me. Buck, you have me.”
“I have you?” Buck whispered disbelievingly, his knee bouncing relentlessly.
“If you want me.”
If he wanted him. Jesus. Buck wasn’t sure if he had ever wanted anything more. Being in Eddie’s house without Eddie was like going outside only to find it was cloudy every day, like eating unseasoned food for the rest of his life, like the worst day of his life over and over again. If he wanted him.
“Eddie, I– I want you,” he said, realizing the truth in the statement as he spoke, “But you’re in Texas.”
There was a sharp intake of breath over the phone. “I know. I know, but– I’m coming back. You know that, right? I’ll wait for you. Will you wait for me?”
Buck had promised to wait for someone once before. He was good at waiting, good at hoping, good at pretending his hopes weren’t being crushed with every day that went by. But this wasn’t Abby, it was Eddie. Eddie wouldn’t do that to him, right?
“I’ll wait,” he murmured, closing his eyes.
Anything for Eddie.
He waited for Abby for six months, but she never came back. Not really. Not for him.
Four months into his wait for Eddie, there was a knock on the door.
Seeing Eddie and Christopher– God, Christopher– again was like going outside on the first proper day of summer. Everything was so warm and happy, he was sure he would never have a bad day again.
The night was even better.
The morning after– somehow better than that.
Buck was starting to think every day, every hour, was going to be better than the last.
He was startled out of his thoughts by a loud ping! on the nightstand beside him.
Buck groaned, opening his eyes to look at his phone. Surprisingly, there was a message from Ravi.
hey, man. srry to hear about tommy
He furrowed his eyebrows, typing rapidly as Eddie stirred beside him.
what do you mean??
…the heart attack?
Eddie snorted behind him, his arm tightening around Buck’s waist briefly before snatching the phone out of his hand.
RIP.
“Eddie!” Buck hissed, giggling despite himself.
“What?” Eddie laughed, turning Buck around to face him, resting their foreheads together, “he knew I was in love with you and he dated you anyway! He tried to have sex with you in my house!”
Bending his neck, Buck buried his head into Eddie’s chest, kissing the skin below his collarbone, right over his heart. “I invited him, Eddie. Besides, he might be dead! Be a little nice.”
Wordlessly, Eddie pulled out Buck’s phone again, tapping rapidly at the screen.
“Dead!” Eddie cheered, tossing the phone to the side and dragging Buck back up, pressing a firm kiss to his lips. Buck laughed into the kiss, unable to help himself. Maybe he would feel bad about it later, but he couldn’t find it in himself to be upset about anything with Eddie in bed beside him and Christopher down the hall.
Eddie’s lips pressed against his quickly distracted him from anything happening outside the room, and Buck dragged Eddie on top of him, tilting his head to deepen the kiss.
Somehow they had been hovering the line between friends and more for seven years and Buck had never thought about what it would be like. Now that he knew, he wasn’t sure he would ever be able to think of anything else.
When Eddie eventually pulled back, Buck couldn’t help but to whine and chase after him, frustrated to find the other man’s hands holding his shoulders down.
“You know I love you, right?” Eddie asked in a whisper, his eyes shining and lips pulling into a beautiful smile.
And– no. Buck did not know that. They had talked constantly between the first conversation and Eddie’s return, but never about anything serious.
“I love you, too,” Buck responded eventually, raising a hand to trace along Eddie’s cheek reverently, darting up to flick the strands of hair that had flopped onto his forehead.
“Well, that’s a relief.”
With that, Eddie dropped back down, not kissing Buck this time, but settling on top of him with his head tucked between Buck’s neck and shoulder. With the warmth of Eddie on top of him and the comforting knowledge that he would never be waking alone again, it was easy to begin to drift back off to sleep.