Chapter Text
“The doctor said-”
“I can't wait for the day I don't have to hear the word doctor again”
Jimin’s nurse chuckles into her shoulder, trying her best not to laugh, “I'd be sick of hearing it too jimin”, she says smiling softly as she checks Jimin's vitals, their daily routine.
Feeling groggy, Jimin looked around his room unamused. He had been in the same room for almost 2 years. They allowed him as of last year to customize his room a bit, to make it feel more homey as they told him he would “stick around” for a while. Jimin knew what that meant.
Jimin had hung up a few posters scattered across the room, some of them were pretty landscapes and others his favorite characters. Jimin had also received gifts from his hospital as well, as every once in a while they would give him plushies, clothing, or coloring books with markers.
Just to keep him occupied.
It worked, for the most part, to distract Jimin from the reality of his situation.
In her eyes, Jimin was the sweetest boy. Definitely, a boy who didn't deserve to die yet.
“What's my breakfast today anyways?” Jimin asks with big curious puppy eyes, “The same meal it will always be Jimin, unfortunately” she replies giving him a soft smile.
Jimin hoped since it was a Sunday he would be allowed to pick something else besides
Cereal.
Full-fat milk with cereal of Jimin's choice, he doesn't complain about this though since he has some type of variety to choose from day to day.
He's supposed to eat 2 slices of toast with his cereal, 2 eggs on each with cheese.
Jimin's nightmare.
After being an in-patient for so long the doctors opted to just give Jimin cereal and a cup of fruit because they knew Jimin would eat it all, at least it was something.
Jimin knows very well that the meals he is given are supposed to help him grow big and strong. Maybe even live.
But after his recent diagnosis jimin simply couldn't give more of a fuck.
He would eat, or not eat whatever the fuck he wanted.
As Jimin's nurse left to grab his breakfast, he sighed. Jimin Looked out of his room window, what a beautiful day it was outside. Winter was slowly coming to a close and the sun started to shine a bit more. The sun's morning rise struck his room leaving a warm yellow cast.
Jimin looked down at the IV attached to his arm, too bad he was too sick to go out. He hated being attached to his IV bag, dragging it everywhere he went, what a burden. In no time his nurse had come back with his tray of breakfast, Jimin chose coco pebbles today.
Jimin loved chocolate, however, he was also terrified of it.cHis fruit cup of the day consisted of strawberries, mangos, and grapes. He hated mangos. And something new was on the tray today, a cookies and cream protein bar. The doctors tried everything in their power to get him to eat any type of protein, jimin just simply wasn't having it.
He assumed this was their last attempt.
“Okay Jimin, Coco pebbles and fruit for you,” the nurse said, placing Jimin's tray in front of him on his bed, “would you like to watch something on the TV in specific?” She asks, grabbing the remote from the table next to them, “the notebook” Jimin answers immediately, looking at his nurse.
Jimin liked to torture himself and watch the notebook religiously.
“Okay love, the notebook it is.”
As the nurse placed Down the remote she had left to attend to another patient, Jimin was alone once again.
He didn't mind being alone, but sometimes he does wish he had someone. Jimin doesn’t remember the last time he had amde a friend, or found a romantic interest. Nobody was interested in him. He just wished he could be treated normally, like the normal 19 year old he is, not the sick boy.
Jimin stirred around his soggy cereal a few times, the milk turning a brown color from the chocolate.
Almost 300 calories, Jimin thought to himself. He loved chocolate, he wished he could turn back the time when he would eat chocolate bars mindlessly, simply enjoying the delicacy without thinking about the numbers.
Fruit cup 60 calories, almost a 500 calories breakfast? He doesn't even want to think about how many more are in the protein bar.
The movie began and Jimin took a small spoonful of Cocoa pebbles in his mouth. The cereal Melted instantly in his mouth, There was no reason to chew. It was chocolatey goodness.
He hated that it tasted so good.
He opened his fruit cup And picked out a strawberry, slowly nibbling away as he watched his movie.
Jimin doesn't know why he is so attached to this movie, maybe it was the gut-wrenching ending that it had that left an impact on him. Love was one thing that never died in movies like these. The love in the story was something fictional, but deep down Jimin craved this life with somebody.
But it's been taken from him.
When Jimin thinks about him and his situation too deeply he does get depressed. Who wouldn't, you were told just 2 months ago that your heart disease has worsened, becoming advanced. He was told there was a possibility for him to live longer with lifestyle changes, such as a better diet, however, like everything else in life
It all comes to an end eventually.
Jimin would rather get it over with than give himself false hope of a temporary survival.
Jimin hated life.
Why him? He had so much going for him just 2 years ago, getting accepted into a prestigious Arts college, getting his first job at a bubble tea Cafe, and reuniting with his parents after years. What did he do to deserve this?
Jimin stared at the tray in his lap, compelled. What was the point in trying to beat ED when he was just going to die anyway?
A knock came on his door, “Jimin, buddy, how are we doing?” His nurse asks, slowly Stepping Into his room in hopes he has cleared his plate.
Not today
Jimin looked at his Tray ashamed, “I'm sorry, I'm having a really hard time eating it, i-” the nurse sighed and sat at the corner of his bed, picking up his tray, “It's okay Jimin, I know it's hard for you.” She replies, knowing the reality of his situation. Knowing what they both knew, she wasn’t going to force Jimin to eat everything this week.
All the nurses assigned to a patient tried their best to make light of things, even when death was at the door. But Jimin was a different case, he was very grim about his situation. Often making jokes about his situation, to cope with it all.
“Eat the protein bar at least Jimin, or the fruit cup, you don't need to eat everything,” she says, placing his Tray down in front of him again.
Jimin silently picked up the protein bar, in most cases he would pick the fruit since it was lower in calories, however, it had more mangos than strawberries this time.
The nurse smiled and took Jimin's tray of food away, “I'll be back for your weigh-in, okay?”
Jimin nodded silently, turning his attention back to his movie.
Maybe if he didn't have a week to live he would try to eat everything, to become healthy again. He had been struggling with his eating disorder for years, two illnesses in one. Just Jimin's luck.
Jimin turned the protein bar around to check the nutrition label, and of course, they scratched it out again.
This scared Jimin.
He opened the bar and examined the outside, it was covered in a thin layer of chocolate, and, as said on the wrapping protein cookie dough filling was on the inside. He looked up at his TV, a mistake, as the female lead and male lead embraced each other. It was the part where they first fell in love. Jimins eyes seemed to twinkle a bit.
He wished he could experience love like any other person. He is almost 20 yet has not ever had any luck with love. Not after coming out, that was. Maybe he was truly meant to live and die alone. Jimin took a bite of the protein bar, slowly chewing at the texture. It was good. He looked at the inside; it sure was some type of cookie dough. He looked back up at the screen; he couldn't seem to take his eyes off the love story unfolding in front of him. To be held, to be kissed, to be loved were all things Jimin hated to admit he dreamed about daily. Often at night, he would fantasize about being cuddled into bed, someone laying soft kisses on his forehead before bed.
Jimin just loved breaking his own heart, a hobby of his.
A knock came on the door again, “jimin honey, it's time to weigh” his nurse said from the other side of the door. Jimin didn't see the point in weighing himself every morning anymore, why check for progress when he would be nothing but gone a week from today?
“Coming”
Jimin paused his movie, quickly striping himself of his pajamas and putting on a hospital gown. Now Jimin felt sick, the hospital gown screamed “I'm going to die in a week, I'm sick." He grabbed the IV Pole that he was attached to and slowly wheeled his way to the scale room, “Alright just step on for me,” she said placing the scale in front of the boy, jimin sighed and stepped on. He looked down at the numbers starting to rise, he bit his lip. This part always made him anxious.
“109.8”
“Step off the scale please,” his nurse said in a stern voice.
Jimin knew she was disappointed, and Jimin was disappointed in himself as well. Of course, he knew his weight wouldn’t magically increase overnight, he knew he had to put the work in. He wish he cared enough.
“Jimin, I know you see that there isn't hope but-”
Jimin stepped off the scale and grabbed his IV pole, he couldn't stand being in that room anymore. He stormed into his room and shut the door behind him. He was just as disappointed In himself as his nurse was. Jimin always craved to be the lowest on the scale, to hit his goal of being under 120 pounds yet, when it was his realitym it scared him. He couldn’t stop, he wouldn’t stop.
He started at his half-eaten protein bar left on his nightstand table.
“Jimin?”
He wiped his head around to see his nurse peaking her head through his door.
Jimin felt tears well up in his eyes, “I fucking hate this, why that fuck should I bother anymore.”
His nurse's eyes softened
“Just kill me now”
His nurse walks in and comforts the crying Jimin. She cared about the boy a lot, She has been with Jimin since day 1, through thick and thin. Pre diagnoses, and after, “I'm so sorry honey” She felt herself form tears in the corners of her eyes as well. She just wanted Jimin to have the best life he could in the remaining time he had left. “I want to feel something, anything at all I hate being stuck in this room all day and watching movies I know can never be my reality,” the boy said, clenching his chest in unbearable pain, “I can’t even fucking eat properly, my head is all fucked up,” he screams out. Jimin would have a meltdown once or twice a week usually. This wasn’t out of the ordinary for his nurse. Jimin had many health and mental problems, but
She understood Jimin, she saw Jimin.
Jimin seemed to lose control of his breath, his chest rising and falling at a rapid pace, “Jimin let’s calm down for a moment, this isn’t good for your heart." Jimin shut his eyes in pain, he felt pain everywhere in his body, his head, his limbs, his heart. Why couldn’t he be normal?
“I-I hate living, why put me on this earth when I’m just going to die, everyone dies in the end,” Jimin states, his eyes droopy, lifeless as ever. His nurse looked down at the floor, she was used to Jimin being grim, but of course, his words would always stick with her. Jimin shut his eyes, “I know what my final wish is,” Jimin said trying to catch his breath, he had been thinking long and hard about what his wish would be after the hospital asked him, “I want to experience a life with love.” The nurse stood still. When Jimin was told he would only have a week left to live, he was granted any wish he dreamed of. This wish did catch her by surprise. She stood quiet for a moment, only Jimin’s breathing could be heard, “I'll try my best to have your wish come true, I promise jimin” she replied immediately, no thought behind her answer.
.
.
.
That night she went home, crying on the way there. Her job was never an easy one, essentially she was Jimin’s caretaker. Even though she attends to other patients in her work, Jimin has a special place in her heart. The boy first came in complaining about tightness in his chest. Little did Jimin know he had Congenital Heart Defects since birth.
There was no way Jimin could prevent his life from ending so early.
Along with his heart disease, he had an eating disorder on top of that. Jimin’s nurse has experience in nutrition, which ultimately was the deciding factor on who got assigned to Jimin. When she first saw the boy he was 18 and had a bit more life in his eyes than he did now. He was visibly thin for a 5’6 boy. He was toned from dancing all of his life but he was so, so thin. His arms were slim and delicate looking, and his collarbones were protruding. In a way,Jimin looked like a doll, like one of those fine china dolls. His cheeks were always a light shade of pink, along with his knuckles. His body was quite pale, which, according to the doctor was normal for the boy whose life would end soon.
Jimin” 's doctor has told her that the boy wasn't going to make it, early on. She hardly knew Jimin but yet, her heart broke for the boy. He said that they would still go through normal procedures for weight gain and treating his heart disease but, there was a very very slim chance he would make it out alive.
The doctor gave him about 2 years of life left to live when they diagnosed Jimin.
From that day on, she grew closer to Jimin, finding out the hobbies he used to have, his favorite songs, his likes, dislikes, and everything in between.
Jimin didn't deserve to die. Jimin was scared of death.
As she pulled into her driveway she quickly wiped her tears away, smudging her mascara in the process before entering her home.
She lived with her boyfriend and her son, Namjoon. Namjoon was still figuring out the jist of life after graduating from college with an English degree. Of course, she wasn't going to let her little boy figure out everything on his own so she offered to let him stay at home until he had found a job and had enough money to move out on his own. They lived a comfortable life.
She stepped into her house, exhausted from the day she had had. Namjoon, who was on their living room couch, turned his head to their front door.
“Mom you alright? Her son Namjoon asked noticing his mom's aura shift, and her smeared mascara, she had been crying.“A hard day at work” she simply said, with a sad look on her face.
Namjoon's mom worked extremely hard at that hospital, night and day. Enough for Namjoon to worry about her well-being.
“Was it that Jimin boy again?” Namjoon asked, knowing little, but enough about the boy. The stories his mom would tell him as she vents were heartbreaking, to say the least. Namjoon couldn’t put his shoes in Jimin’s, he couldn’t imagine what the boy was going through based on what his mom told him.
“He's got just a week of his life left,” his mom sighed, “fuck, he's just only 19 years old” his mom cursed, walking to their kitchen counter and lowering her head in stress. “I'm sorry to hear about that Mom,” Namjoon said not knowing how to comfort his crying mother. He was never good with his words.
“He gave me his wish today,” she said lifting her head to look at Namjoon, “he wants to live his last week of life with love,” she said shutting her eyes to stop herself from crying again, “How can I give him his wish?” she shut her eyes, and diverted them away from Namjoon’s. Namjoon pondered on the wish, of love. Usually, you hear make-a-wish kids wanting to go to Disney or meet their favorite idol. But love? Isn't it a bit vague? Can they even say no to wishes?
“Though, I was thinking on my way here,” his mom says, hesitant, “could you help me, son?”
Namjoon looked at his mom confused, “i-i don't understand,” he said, trying to get what his mom was implying. She took a deep breath in before responding, “Be Jimin's love for the week”
Namjoon thought he heard it wrong, he must have heard it wrong. His mom would be out of his mind to think he would fake being in love with a dying boy for a week. “That seems a bit cruel, no?” Namjoon said, looking at his mom like she was crazy.
“I-I know it sounds wild but, I think Jimin would love you, it's something he needs right now and I don't know how else we can grant his wish,” she continues, “You are closer to his age, he’s just a few years younger but I think you could make him happy.”
She knew Jimin would love her boy, they are a bit of opposites but, jimin was very likable.
Namjoon shook his head in disagreement, “I don't know Mom, I'm feeling a lot of pressure” he said overthinking about the situation, “take him out, pay for his meals, watch movies with him, get to know him Joon,” she pleads, taking her hands into her sons.
His mom grips her hands into his, “Please Joon?” She asks, giving him a soft look, “To him, it will be like you never left, you will be the last thing he remembers.”
When she put it that way, it sounded like Namjoon had a mission, like for whatever reason he needed to do this. One mission to make a boy he doesn't know, Jimin, last week on earth worth living.
Namjonn doesn't understand why but his conscious was telling him no while his gut was telling him yes.
Fuck it
“I'll meet Jimin”