Chapter Text
"Nobody died." Joker's voice was soft, almost a whisper in her ear.
Of course, it wasn't just for her, despite her imagination. It was over the comms because he was flying and she was in the almost a med-bay watching Liara and some poor Alliance medic whose name she didn't even know yet trying to figure out how to help Alenko until they made it to an actual proper hospital on the Citadel.
"Yet." She mouthed the word almost silently.
Ella wanted more than anything to barge into the cockpit and fling herself all over Joker, actually touch him for the first time in six months, but she had to be Commander Fucking Shepard again, and she wasn't completely sure she remembered how to keep it all together.
"None of that." She wasn't sure if the mic had picked up her whisper, or if he knew her well enough to read her mood by the set of her shoulders in a tiny security vid, but she couldn't resist shooting a smile in the vague vicinity of the cam on the ceiling at his teasing tone. "Come bring me some coffee. I doubt you can glare Alenko better by sheer force of will, and you might be scaring Chief Soun there. She's not used to Shepard glares yet. Might think you're serious."
Liara glanced over, an almost smile softening her eyes. "He's got a point, Shepard. I think the Major is stable now, let us work?" Liara's gaze lifted briefly up towards the camera in the ceiling, her smile widening enough to be visible across her lips.
"Thank you," Ella nodded, grateful both for the gentle nudge towards where she wanted to go, as well as the care they were giving Alenko.
He'll be alright. Has to be. Strong man, Alenko. He knows we need him.
She paused right before she left anyways, looking back over her shoulder, hoping she was right. Chief Soun's shoulders eased just a little at the sound of the door opening, and Ella swallowed the urge to snort audibly as she stepped out of the medbay.
Joker had been right. Again. As usual.
She smiled as she stalked over towards the coffee-pot. Not that I should tell the arrogant SOB that. He'll never let me hear the end of it.
She made the coffee as strong as she could stand it, though it wasn't quite at the scorched tar level of the stuff Joker usually made on his own. She leaned against the cabinets as she waited for it to brew, fingers wrapped tightly around the edge of the counter.
Earth. Anderson. Mars. Alenko.
And Joker waiting for her in the cockpit.
Her fingers clenched hard enough she could feel her knuckles crack.
Or maybe that's the counter? Crap. Stupid cybernetic everything.
She made herself let go, shook her hands gently, trying to relax.
End of the world.
Almost more worried about seeing her pilot again.
I'm an idiot.
Not that that's new. Always been an idiot.
Anticipation and grief and nerves and six fucking months without being able to share a single word and wondering if they were both still on the same page or even the same book.
Not that she'd seen more than a handful of books with pages in a good twenty some years.
Not that that had anything to do with her current situation.
She had no idea how he'd survived her two years dead. She'd had trouble with six months in a room without email, even knowing he was fine and relatively near-by, still working on their ship.
God, she'd missed the Normandy almost as much as she'd missed her pilot.
Well, maybe not that much, but it'd still been a damn fine sight, the Normandy flying to the rescue again.
Ok, that had mostly been because she knew who was at the helm.
Ella grinned as the pot beeped, and dug out two mugs.
Now that she finally had a moment of down-time, nothing for her to do 'til they docked at the Citadel, the end of all that waiting in sight, the anticipation was strangely pleasant, a shiver down her spine, a wiggle in her toes. She took her time walking up through the CIC, making sure she was learning names and ranks to go with faces, duties lined up with uniforms. Had to make her poor cobbled-together-skeleton-repair crew as comfortable as possible, after all.
But even savoring a nice slow pace, the feel of ship beneath her boots rather than hallway or floor or earth, it didn't take long to reach her destination, to lean against the bulkhead and admire the line of his shoulders, the shift of exceedingly talented fingers across holo-displays.
She'd rather missed everything about him while in lock up, but she spared an extra thought or two for the things he could do with those hands.
"That better be some spectacular coffee, considering how long you made me wait." He tilted his head around as he spoke, the brim of his hat shading his eyes, the slightest hint of teeth just visible between his lips as he smiled.
Her breath hissed out as her hands tightened. If she hadn't had the sense to grab the mugs with lids, she would've spilled coffee all over herself. That smile. Oh yeah, they were still in the same book. Same page. Possibly the same letter of the same word.
"It's dreadful coffee." Ella managed after one hard swallow, feeling herself smile back, her toes curling in her boots as she suppressed the urge to drop everything and clamber onto his chair. "But I'm bringing it to you, so you're going to like it anyways."
"I am, aren't I." He shrugged as he turned his chair all the way around, but it clearly wasn't really a question.
She straightened up off the bulkhead, her feet moving forward without any real input from the rest of her. "Holy fuck, you're a sight for sore eyes."
"Such a mouth on you, Commander." He'd been staring at the movement of her lips as she spoke, and his eyes were dark when they lifted to look at her properly. "Going to get yourself in trouble one of these days."
"Oh, I certainly hope so." Their fingers brushed, just a little, as she handed him his mug, and she felt her nostrils flare and her breath try to catch in her lungs. She watched the slow blink of his eyelids dropping in reaction, and leaned in even closer, head tilted so she'd fit under his hat, her now free hand braced on the side of his chair.
He opened his eyes, and there was that smile again, all those things they neither of them were very good at saying, clear in the curve of his lips and the creases by his eyes.
"Missed you too." His voice was rough, barely a whisper, a breath against her mouth an instant before she felt the brush of his lips.
Her eyelids slowly lowered, even as a soft hum rose up through her chest and into her mouth. He leaned up into her, as if trying to taste the sound of her voice along with her lips, and her fingers clenched around the leather beneath them to hold herself steady.
She'd barely had a chance to notice she was lightheaded, a flush of heat beneath her skin and the thud of her heart in her chest, before he was leaning back in his chair, their mouths slowly separating. It took another breath or two before her fingers eased and she remembered how to open her eyes.
There was just a hint of green between his lashes, his eyes still mostly closed as well, and she smiled again as he slowly focused on her face. "Never said I missed you, Joker."
"But you did, didn't you."
And yet again, not a question. Smug bastard.
"Every second." She ached with it, even now, but the CIC was never really quiet and the cockpit was never really private, so she was just going to have to deal. She forced herself to stand up straight again, to take a drink of her coffee.
Which actually wasn't that bad.
Wasn't that good, either, but she'd take what she could get.
For now.