Chapter Text
The streets of Hogsmeade were unusually warm that day, the streets crowded with groups of students in their last gathering before the NEWTs began. Spring was already in full bloom, and Severus could nearly smell in the air the end of yet another school year, brought by the warmth of the pale Scottish sun.
Yet, he felt warm for another reason, so warm that he would combust at any moment. He felt pressure in his chest, mostly because of his… lover? Boyfriend? He wasn’t sure what term he was supposed to use. What he did know was that Sirius Black never stopped talking, letting his thoughts blab out in an endless rambling, ignoring completely the curious stares they received from their fellow colleagues.
Severus couldn’t exactly blame them. It wasn’t every day that a Slytherin was seen with someone outside their house, let alone a Gryffindor. And if that wasn’t enough, the sight of them together—the infamous sworn enemies—now walking shoulder to shoulder, fingers grazing in tentative touches, was bound to draw attention.
They had been fooling around for most of the school year, but today was different. Today was their first real date, if it could even be called that, after Severus had finally given in and agreed to move in with Black once they both finished school.
If he was being completely honest, Severus had been at first both irritated and amused when Sirius insisted to take him to a date in the first place, especially somewhere as public as Hogsmeade was. It wasn’t in his nature to just hung out, no matter how easy the other boy seemed to make it look like.
But quickly, Severus realized that he hadn’t had the heart to scoff at the idea, not when Sirius had looked so deflated at his initial sneer, lips forming the slightest of pouts.
Sirius Black wasn’t made for disappointment. He was meant to shine, to grin in that way that made Severus weak in the knees, no matter how much he tried to deny it. Besides, Severus needed supplies before exams, and he had been too buried in the library to fetch them himself. He might as well make use of the outing.
“Oi, are you alright?” Sirius asked, snapping him out of his thoughts.
“Yes,” Severus replied immediately, blinking himself back to the present as he adjusted the strap of his bag. “Yes, I’m alright. What were you saying?”
“Nothing,” Sirius muttered, shoving his hands into his pockets. “Just that you’ve barely said a word since we got here.”
Severus glanced at him from the corner of his eye, raising an eyebrow. “So? I’m not particularly chatty.”
“You are when we're alone,” Sirius grunted, shrugging. “But out here, it almost feels like you're ashamed to be seen with me.”
“I'm not,” Severus dismissed him with a wave, his gaze drifting toward the bookstore. “I was just thinking that I need to pick up a book from there.”
Sirius fell quiet, but something in his posture shifted. If Severus didn’t know better, he’d think the other boy was just as nervous as he was—an absurd notion. Sirius Black, whose romantic escapades were practically the stuff of legend, had no reason to be uneasy. This was hardly his first date.
And yet, there he was, sulking.
The sight was almost amusing, his shyness and embarrassment showing onto a face usually full of infuriating arrogance. But instead of mocking him, Severus found his heart quickening at the unexpected display. There were, he supposed, certain perks to being with Sirius. One of them, seeing this side that no other people got to see.
Stopping in front of the shop window, Severus dug into his pocket, the soft clinking of coins breaking the silence between them. He began counting them carefully, brow furrowed in concentration, when Sirius spoke again.
“Do you have enough? I could get it for you…”
Severus' head snapped up, heat creeping up his neck. “It's fine,” he said sharply, the warning clear in his tone.
Sirius raised his hands in surrender, his expression an exaggerated as you wish. With a sigh, Severus resumed counting, relieved when he confirmed he had just enough for the sodding book.
“My mother sent me some money not long ago,” he muttered, his voice slightly softer now.
“She did?” Sirius asked hesitantly.
It wasn’t a secret between them how shitty things were at the Snape household. Sirius must have guessed from the beginning—the threadbare robes, the battered school supplies—but it wasn’t until months into their relationship that Severus had dared to speak of it outright. Of the poverty. Of Tobias. Of his mother’s quiet misery.
It was still a sore spot in Severus’ heart, and he couldn’t help but snap at any attempt of sympathy in that topic. Still, he knew he should do better, specially if they were in fact going to live together in less than two months.
“Yes,” Severus said again, and this time, he met Sirius' gaze. His throat tightened, but he forced the words out. “She’s… she’s not like him. She does care, in her own way.”
Sirius’ gaze softened with sympathy as he placed a firm but gentle hand on Severus’ shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “That’s good, Sev,” he said, and there was such earnestness in his voice that Severus couldn’t even summon a sneer in response. “But seriously, let me know if you need anything, alright?”
Heat crept up Severus’ face, mortifyingly fast. “…Thank you,” he mumbled.
It seemed easy enough, if he thought about it. A simple thank you and Sirius’ face broke into a broad smile, one so shiny that Severus felt himself the flush on his face spread to the tip of his ears.
“Don’t worry about it!” Sirius said with a laugh. “We’re… you know. Together. It’s normal to help each other out.”
“I-I suppose,” Severus muttered, his eyes scanning nervously around the street. “I’ll be back in a second,” he stammered, turning around and fleeing before he could embarrass himself even further.
The shop was thankfully busy, offering him the perfect excuse to steady himself in peace. He started browsing through the shelves, his long fingers gliding over the spines of the thousand books in display, the familiar scents and textures grounding him. As his eyes skimmed across the titles, he allowed his thoughts to finally settle, as well as the maddening beating of his heart.
Merlin, how things had changed.
Two years ago, maybe even less, if someone had told him he’d end up in a relationship with Sirius Black, he would have hexed them on the spot. He had hated his guts as much as he hated Potter, loathed him so much he would have gladly paid money he didn’t have to watch both of them tossed into the Black Lake, left for the Giant Squid to devour them.
And yet, by some miracle of fate, by some god needing a good laugh, here they were now, about to start something else than just fooling around in the dark corridors of the school, both pushing through the end of school and their exams before they could begin their life as adults. Together.
And he wanted that. Wanted him. More than he ever thought possible, so much that it even surprised him at times. He wanted everyone to see that Sirius Black—Sirius Black—had chosen him of his own volition. That he, Snivellous, the boy so often mocked and tormented, had somehow found a way past his own hatred and claimed the Gryffindor as his own.
But beneath the want, beneath the strange and unfamiliar warmth curling in his chest, there was fear. A lingering tendril of doubt that refused to let go. Sometimes he still found himself waiting for an insult or a cruel mockery from Sirius, the everlasting fear that everything had been but an elaborated, cruel joke.
Because life had taught him one brutal lesson: when something seemed too good, it rarely was, and he should brace himself for the unavoidable disappointment.
Severus let out a long sigh and finally plucked the book from the shelf, ready to pay and leave. As he stood in the queue, his gaze drifted absentmindedly toward the window—until the sight outside sent his heart into a panicked, stuttering frenzy.
Sirius stood just beyond the glass, talking to none other than Potter and Lily.
His stomach twisted. Swallowing hard, he fumbled for his coins, his fingers clumsy as he handed them over, the old shopkeeper counted them with agonizing slowness, each second stretching unbearably. Outside, Sirius laughed at something, his shoulders lifting in an easy shrug before his gaze flicked toward the shop, their eyes meeting as Sirius gestured in his direction.
Severus didn’t wait to see if Potter and Lily followed the motion. His breath caught, and in a split second, he turned on his heel, retreating behind a bookshelf, the package holding his newly purchased book pressed tightly against his chest.
What was Sirius thinking? Was he openly admitting they were on a date? Would he be waiting for Severus to come outside, only to turn around and deny him in front of them? The latter seemed far more likely, and the thought burned more than he cared to admit.
The shopkeeper, Mr. Brown, was already eyeing him suspiciously, no doubt wondering if he was lingering just long enough to pocket something when he wasn’t looking, and that kind of situation was the last thing Severus needed at that point. Clenching his jaw, he exhaled slowly.
“Count to ten. Whatever it is, face it,” he told himself.
One… two… three…
He forced himself to move.
But by the time Severus stepped outside, Potter and Lily—Evans, she’s Evans to you now, he reminded himself—were already far down the street. Only Sirius remained, standing there with his brow slightly furrowed.
“Done already?” he asked, almost cautiously.
Severus gave a brief nod, his mouth cotton dry, before started walking in the opposite direction. Sirius fell into step beside him without question. To some extent, it was a relief that he seemed to pick up on Severus' mood, waiting until they reached the outskirts of the village before speaking.
“You didn’t have to hide, you know?”
Severus kept his gaze fixed straight ahead. “What?”
“Back in the bookstore,” Sirius pressed, hands buried deep in his robe pockets. “I saw you.”
“I didn’t hide,” Severus muttered, though that was exactly what he had done. “I just didn’t want to deal with either of them.”
“I get it about James,” Sirius scoffed, rolling his eyes. “But what about Lily?”
Severus stiffened, the name slicing his heart open. “It’s none of your business.”
“I think it is.”
Before Severus could snap back or walk away, Sirius stopped abruptly in front a narrow alleyway. Looking at both sides of the street briefly, he didn’t waste a second before he wrapped a hand around Severus’ arm, dragging him into the street.
“What the—?” Severus yelped as he was shoved against the rough stone wall—literally and figuratively cornered.
Sirius stood in front of him, grey eyes locked onto his. “You should talk to her,” he said firmly.
Severus scowled as he gave a half-hearted push against Sirius' chest. “Fuck off,” he growled.
“I mean it,” Sirius said, his eyes narrowing.
“She made it perfectly clear that she wanted nothing to do with me,” Severus seethed.
“Pfft, talking about ancient history,” Sirius scoffed, rolling his eyes in a way that made Severus nearly slap him. “That was two years ago, back when she thought you were… you know.” He waved a hand vaguely in the air. “When you were still hanging around those gits from your house.”
“I still do,” Severus snapped, his lip curling. “I share a room with them, don’t I?”
“Well, yeah,” Sirius sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “But if she knew you weren’t planning to run off and join the Death Eaters the moment we leave school… maybe she’d be willing to talk to you.”
Severus averted his eyes. “I…”
“Look, Sev,” Sirius said, his tone gentler now. “I feel… responsible for what happened that day at the lake. I know you lashed out at her because we…” He winced, tapping his foot against the cobblestones. “But I’ve been thinking—”
“Shocking.”
“Shut it, will you?” Sirius huffed impatiently. “I know you want to keep this quiet because of those arseholes, but once we leave Hogwarts, once we’re living together… I don’t want to hide this anymore.”
Severus let out a sharp, bitter laugh, finally meeting his gaze. “Oh? So you’re planning to tell James Potter that you’re shagging Snivellus?”
Sirius didn’t take the bait. Instead, he smiled, that easy, infuriatingly charming grin, and reached out, his palm warm against Severus’ cheek, thumb tracing lightly over his skin. “No,” he said, steady and sure. “I’m going to tell him that I like Severus Snape. A lot.”
Severus’ breath hitched, but he quickly turned away, his expression unreadable. “And Lily?” he asked, voice quieter now, almost reluctant.
Sirius hesitated, then sighed. “Look, if Lily forgave James for being a right arse to her, what makes you think she won’t forgive you?”
Severus swallowed hard, his cheeks burning despite himself. He wanted to believe it—he really did. Still, he decided to veer the conversation once more. “Potter will think I’ve bewitched you.”
“Or that I’ve bewitched you,” Sirius smirked, eyes gleaming. “Honestly, Sev, I don’t care what he thinks. If you don’t want to see him, I get it. But he’s my best mate, and I will tell him—whether he likes it or not.”
Severus exhaled shakily, staring at the ground. “And if they don’t accept it? Us?”
Sirius leaned in, his breath warm against Severus’ lips. “That’s their problem,” he murmured. “Because I’m not ashamed of this. Are you?”
Severus' lips twitched slightly. If only Sirius knew—it wasn’t just Rosier and the others he was worried about. No, Sirius had no idea about the incessant letters Lucius still sent, pressing him for answers, pushing further and further to know what his plans were once Hogwarts was over.
everus had been as vague as possible, knowing that he wouldn’t join the Dark Lord just like he had promised him two years ago. Knowing that he would most likely end living with one of the biggest traitors of the blood.
Lucius didn’t know that Severus had no intention of keeping the promise he’d made two years ago. That he wouldn’t be joining the Dark Lord. That, instead, he would likely be spending his days with one of the most infamous blood traitors of their time.
Lucius couldn’t know. Not yet. But Severus couldn’t tell Sirius either—he knew him far too well by now. Knew exactly how he’d react.
“No,” Severus said firmly. “Of course not. I just… want to be out of here.”
Sirius studied him for a moment before nodding. “Alright then. All settled.”
Severus tilted his head back, his voice quieter now. "I hope you realize I like things tidy."
“Mhmm,” Sirius hummed, one long hand cradling Severus' cheek.
“A-And we won’t be getting a house-elf or any of that pure-blood nonsense—"
“Don’t even mention it,” Sirius grunted, his lips brushing a line of small, slow kisses along Severus’ jaw. A sigh escaped before Severus could stop it.
“Are you excited?” Sirius murmured.
Was he? Of course, he was. But instead of answering, Severus pushed himself on his toes, chasing those lips and pressing their mouths together. His eyes fluttered shut as he let himself sink into the kiss, arms looping around the other man’s neck, fingers curling into the soft hair at his nape.
The NEWTs would take place starting the following week, and after that, they would be free. After that, Severus told himself, his new life – their new life – would begin.
From the shadows of the alley, a rat observed behind a stack of barrels, its beady eyes gleaming with cruel eagerness before it slithered away into a nearby pipe, disappearing quietly.