Chapter Text
This is not a happy story—it is a descent into a dark shadow.
If you have watched BANANA FISH and felt the weight of its sorrow, I’ll warn you. What lies ahead will drag you deeper.
This is worse.
Here, the unknown hides behind every corner, always ready to reach out and grab you, always just a few steps behind. The beconing hands of suicide, the cold glint of knives, and the crack of gunfire are only the surface. Beneath it, darkness festers—child sex trafficking, assault, unspeakable abuse, and the unrelenting torment of body and mind.
If these themes disturb you, or if you are in a fragile headspace, turn away. Leave.
For those who remain, know this: the story begins where BANANA FISH ends. Eiji Okumura is back in Japan. Ash Lynx lies motionless in a library, the final scene of episode 24. Dead? From this moment, the world you knew is gone. The events that happened in Garden of Light do not exist here. Only the unknown waits.
I doubt this story will end how you expect it too.
“<...>” Denotes speaking in a foreign language.*
To those who dare, I offer only these words: hold on tight. And good luck.
February 6th, New York City
“You there?”
The librarian asked Ash. He laid still on the table, a letter from a boy under him.
“You shouldn’t sleep here.”
Noticing his face, he looks so peaceful, she thought as she smiled.
“Must be a good dream.”
“Um, excuse me…” A voice called from beyond Ash’s table.
The librarian left, tending to the voice.
Keep Him Safe
February 13th, Izumo, Japan
Three knocks at Eiji Okumura’s door drew him from his spot at the table. He had been working on some school work.
His grey slippers shuffled across the floor as he rubbed his face and pushed his black hair from his eyes.
“<Coming!>” He called out after hearing an additional three knocks.
Eiji opened the door and was immediately tossed back by Shunichi Ibe, his employer and mentor, in a tight hug.
“<Ibe-san! W-What are you doing here?>”
“<Eiji…Ei-chan…>”
Ibe, a photojournalist, took Eiji, a young college photographer, to New York City in mid-May of last year as his assistant for a story he was covering about teen gangs, leaving Japan for nearly 9 months.
“<Ei-chan…I need to talk to you. Are you busy?>”
“<Well, I was doing some schoolwork. I have a lot to catch up on, but it can wait. Is everything okay?>”
Eiji tried to read his expression, but nothing was clear enough to understand. It was a mix of panic, and urgency, but he also looked so, so sad.
“<Here, come sit down.>”
Eiji walked back to his chair and slid his schoolwork to the side. Ibe, after removing his shoes, followed and slowly sat down across from him. Now in the light of his work space, Eiji could see his eyes more clearly. They were a little red.
“<Hey…have you been crying? What’s the matter?>”
Ibe rubbed his eyes with his fingers and then dragged his hair back. He looked away from Eiji, somewhere into the distance of another room.
“<Eiji...It’s Ash.>”
It was as if, in less than a second, he had just been thrown into the ocean with stones tied to his ankles. He was suddenly sinking. He couldn’t see for a moment, and his heart dropped out of his body. He tried to think rationally.
“<A-Ash? Wh…what’s wrong with Ash?>”
Ibe kept his gaze away from Eiji. He couldn't bear to look at him right now. Tears filled his own eyes at the sound of Eiji’s voice. He didn’t respond.
“<Hey…Ibe-san, answer me. Answer me!>” Eiji’s voice shook and cracked. His hands were trembling and ice cold with uncertainty.
“<I’m so sorry. I am so sorry, Eiji. Ash, he…he’s dead.>”
He said it. Eiji heard the words he feared most in this world of his. Ash Lynx is dead.
“<He was stabbed by Lao, right by the library you two always went.>” Ibe forced out his words through cracks. They sounded planned, as if he had practiced this. “<Lao, he…he missed all of Ash’s vital organs, and…and Ash walked back to the library, where he bled out…he had some papers with him, but I don’t know what they were…>”
Eiji listened. He had no choice, he was frozen.
“<He…he died the very day we left, Eiji.>” This final part shattered anything Ibe was holding together. He couldn’t speak more after that, his head fell into his hands, and he cried right in front of Eiji.
As Eiji watched Ibe crumble in front of him, his mind was busy elsewhere. Countless visions flashed through his brain. He may not have seen Ash Lynx die, but he watched it happen, hundreds of ways, hundreds of times in just a minute. Every possible scene of Lao stabbing Ash ran like a horror movie through his mind. Eiji’s body shook, his breathing faltered, his eyes were blinded with tears. He took his trembling hands and placed them in his hair, grasping it tightly, resting his elbows on the table, and looking down.
He silently said, “<No…no…>”, over and over again. He was crumbling.
Ibe wiped his eyes, trying to regain some composure so he could comfort Eiji.
“<Ei-chan, I’m so sorry, but we->” His words were cut short by Eiji frantically standing up and moving towards his front door. “<Hey! W-What are you doing!?>”
“<I have to go back, to…to…I have to go back to New York. I have to->” He was interrupted by Ibe suddenly grabbing the arm that was aimlessly searching. “<Let go! I have to go back now!>” Eiji struggled against him to no avail.
“<NO! No, Eiji. There is no point! New York has become even more dangerous since he died! It is insane over there! Plus, it’s already been a week, and Ash hasn't even had a funeral, and there is no grave. I…I’m guessing they cremated him… You can’t go back Eiji, there would be no point.>”
He loosened his grip on his arm, and after a moment, Eiji sank to his knees on the floor, sobbing.
“<I…I’ll never s…see him. I’ll never see him again. What am I gonna do, he…he was supposed to come here and, be with me…>” Eiji spoke and cried into his hands, as if the recitation of the plan would make it come true.
It didn’t, and it never would.
Ibe slowly lowered himself to the floor, nearly breaking down again at Eiji’s state. Eiji buried his face into him, and that is where the two stayed for quite some time. It wasn’t until Eiji finally lifted his head and rubbed his eyes that Ibe decided to say anything.
“<Eiji, it is going to be okay, we are going to be okay. Everyone is grieving right now. Me, Max, Sing, and Ash’s whole gang. You can talk to any of us, okay?>”
Eiji nodded. He silently stood up, put down his passport, and walked away from the door.
“<I’m sorry for acting that way, and thank you for telling me about him. I think I want to be alone right now, but I’ll keep in touch with you.>”
Ibe didn’t exactly want to leave him alone right now, but respected his wishes anyway. He gave him one last tight hug before making his way to the door and leaving.
Outside the door, Ibe sighed and pulled out his phone, dialing Max Lobo, a friend involved greatly in their adventure to New York. He answered on the first ring.
Hurriedly he said, “Hello? Hello, Ibe? How did it go?”
Ibe responds with a sigh as he begins to walk down the street. “Not well, for either of us. He was devastated, as expected. I should’ve never taken that poor kid to New York.”
About a week later, Eiji is laying in bed when he once again hears three knocks on his door.
He doesn’t get up, and instead thinks, please just go away, just go away. He remained quiet for a moment, hoping whoever it is will give up and leave. Unfortunately, this didn’t work, and the knocks came again-twice as loud. Damn it.
He sighed and got up, begrudgingly making his way over to the door. Behind it once again stood Ibe, who quickly stepped inside, changed his shoes, and headed for the eating area.
“<I brought you your favorite Ei-chan! Nattō!>”
Eiji appreciated it, he really did, but the smile and thank you he gave was clearly fake and forced. Thankfully, Ibe understood and he didn’t mind. He served Eiji the food he brought and sat across from him, opening what he brought for himself. The two sat in silence. Eiji took small bites, and spent most of the time just moving the food around in the bowl.
“<Ei-chan…you need to eat. You’re all skin and bones and looking pale.>”
“<I know, I’m sorry, I'm just…not really hungry right now. I'll eat it later, okay?>”
Ibe sighed and nodded as he took in the rest of Eiji’s appearance. His clothes were wrinkled, his hair was dirty and messy and his face looked slightly sunken. The outer corners of his eyes were bruised from crying, and his gaze was locked looking downwards. His mind was obviously somewhere else.
“<Why didn’t you call me? I was worried.>” He said kindly, hoping to draw attention away from the fact he was checking everything out. Eiji’s suitcase was still lying on the floor of his living room, unzipped, but appearing like nothing had been taken out of it. His house had grown messy, and everything surrounding him felt grey. This is bad, Ibe thought.
Eiji responded flatly after a deep breath in, still picking at his food. “<Oh, I didn't? Sorry about that.>”
“<Ei-chan, I am really worried about you. What can I do to help you?>”
“<I’ll be fine, Ibe-san, I promise, you don't need to worry about me.>”
They both sighed, but Ibe continued.“<Hey, what about your camera? Where are all the pictures you took?>”
“<Huh? Oh, they’re over there, I haven’t looked at them.>”
“<Oh! Well, let's go look at them right now! I’m sure that’ll->”
“<No!>” Eiji snapped back at his words. “<Sorry, but no. I really don’t want to right now.>”
Ibe persisted, “<Why not? I bet it would make you feel better.>”
“<Like hell it would!>” Eiji tensed up and balled his fists. “<Listen, I'm really sorry, but, I…I just want to be alone. Thank you again for the food. I appreciate it, a lot.>”
He stood up and headed to the door.
Ibe internally cursed himself. Damn it, I was sure he’d like that idea. Shit.
“<Hey, I'm sorry if I upset you. Call me if you need me, Eiji. I’m always here for you, but you know that.>”
Eiji nodded as he was brought into a tight, genuine hug.
He thought of Ash in this moment. He wanted a hug from him.
Ibe left once again, and Eiji’s house fell back into silence. The walls felt suffocating, but he couldn't bring himself to step outside, even for a minute.
What’s the point, he thought, as he walked slowly with a despondent air. He retreated to his bed, sinking back into the dent that had been created. He couldn’t even remember being anywhere other than his couch or bed and the bathroom in the last week.
Eiji’s phone lit up brightly from where it laid on his bed, burning his eyes from where they had been closed. He forced them open to see what the notification was, the blue light flooded his dark room suddenly. It was only another text from Sing, the young Chinatown gang leader and friend he made while he was in New York. He had sent so many messages the past 2 weeks, but Eiji hadn't opened a single one of them.
I’m sure he’s worried, Eiji thought. But this thought wasn’t enough to motivate him to respond. He sighed and closed his eyes again, drifting off into sleep, though his state recently wasn't necessarily ‘awake’.
His dreams lately have never been peaceful. Every time he closed his eyes, his mind was filled with inescapable nightmares, no matter how hard he tried. Ash’s green eyes and his blonde hair soaked in red is all Eiji could see. Memories were altered, and every happy moment they shared turned evil. He would see the two of them sharing a moment together, sitting on a bed, Ash in his arms. They would be talking about a future, free of fighting and death, free of the awful things that happened in this world. Eiji would smile in his sleep, feeling the warmth these thoughts brought to him. But just in an instant, a horrifying second, red, as Ash was brutally murdered in front of his eyes. Every time. Eiji couldn’t escape the cycle-it was breaking him.
After a particularly traumatizing dream where Ash was shot mere inches from his face, Eiji woke up with a scream. Running his hand along his face, he could almost feel where the drops splattered across it. He could still feel the thick warmth running down his neck and chest. His breathing heavy, his body trembling, and crying, he rose from his bed in the dark of the night, making his way to the bathroom.
He rubbed his eyes, what time is it? I must have fallen asleep during the day. He checked the clock. 03:34. He headed into the bathroom, and to the sink. He rubbed water on his eyes, trying to wash away the drying tears. They were bloodshot, and the bags under them just kept getting darker. I don’t know what to do, he thought as another wave of tears formed behind his eyes. His heart was aching, burning, and he was so tired.
Two days…maybe three? How long has it been since Ibe-san brought this? Eiji stared down at the discoloured food Ibe had brought him 2 days prior. He never got around to eating it. It’s definitely gone bad. He picked it up, and apologized to the empty house as he threw it away.
Eiji was weak, he had eaten basically nothing, and he knew his body was wasting away. The more he thought about eating, the sicker he felt. Maybe he didn't mind.
After collapsing onto the couch in the living room, Eiji stared at his unpacked suitcase. Nothing had been taken out besides sets of pajamas-which he had been rotating since he came back-his camera, and the folder that contained all the pictures he took of Ash and the others during the trip. Eiji had tried to look at the pictures when he first arrived back, but one glimpse of Shorter’s purple hair brought back memories he didn’t want to think about yet. Or maybe ever. He could still feel his weight laying on his chest. Now, with Ash being gone, Eiji gets nauseous even thinking about touching his pictures. He is scared to face reality. The reality being that the person that changed his life forever, the person he..., the beautiful boy in those pictures, was actually dead, and he was never coming back.
His mind was blank, but also loud at the same time, and his head hurt from crying all the time. He knew he should’ve been going to school, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t force himself out the door. There were a thousand things he could've been doing, and he knew this, but right now, everything seemed too hard, too much work, and pointless.
His eyes wandered around the darkness of his living room, tracing the shadows on the wall. His body sank deeper and deeper into his soft brown couch. He buried his face into the cushion as memories of sitting with Ash on a brown couch flooded his mind. He recalled the exact moment of him laughing, making fun of Ash for being scared of pumpkins. He remembered his face, utter shock that he was being laughed at-the pout after. Eiji used to smile thinking about this, but now, these memories only brought on a tsunami of worse ones.
His last moments with Ash constantly took over his thoughts. If only he had moved quicker, he wouldn’t have been shot. If only he moved his body from the hospital bed sooner, he could’ve touched Ash again. If only he had reached his hand farther in that moment, he might've been able to find him through his blinded vision. Eiji shoved his face harder into the couch, as if he could force the noise out of his brain if pushed hard enough.
It didn’t work, and instead, Ash’s last moments flashed again, along with Eiji’s letter to him. He sighed, The letter…I hope he read it.
He thought a little more, though, he really should've stopped there.
That letter… wait, was he…surely he wasn’t reading it when…
If he was stabbed in front of the library… and he died with papers under him like Ibe said…
He…he was paying attention…to the letter…
Eiji sat up and stared at the wall in horror.
“<My letter…. my letter…>”
His breathing became ragged, his skin felt hot, and his heart beat out of his chest. Tears rolled down his face as images of Ash holding his letter, looking at it instead of paying attention, and getting stabbed because of it.
“<It’s all my fault. It’s all my fault. It’s all my fault… >”
He stood up and quickly paced the room, his breathing fast and broken, completely crumbling under this realization. He was strong, but he wasn’t strong enough to bear the thought of being the reason the person he cared for the most in this world was dead.
“<Ash…>” Eiji crumbled to the floor, a weeping mess, as he kept repeating that he was sorry, over and over.
“<I-I'm not strong like you. I'm sorry. I just want to be with you again.>”
We’ll be together again soon, Ash. I can’t live in a world without you.
Eiji didn’t sleep that night, nor the next. Each time he tried he heard Ash in his ears, humming, talking, crying. If he did manage to sleep, it was never more than an hour at a time. He often woke up screaming.
It had been three sleepless nights, and Eiji was starting to see Ash everywhere.
He’s haunting me.
A shower Eiji brutally forced himself to take ended in tears of fear. Every time he closed his eyes, he felt Ash standing there, speaking into his ear, arm resting around his neck.
“Eiji, why did you do this? Why did you leave me? Why did you let me die? If only…”
Ash, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…
He dried off and tried to compose himself, going to the living room and turning on the news to distract his mind. It was a report taking place in New York.
Eiji watched in horror as the newscaster spoke of a new child sex trafficking ring in NYC.
“We are back with breaking news. Authorities have uncovered evidence of a new child sex trafficking operation, sparking fears that crime lord Dino Golzine’s dark legacy lives on. Despite Golzine’s death, this ring appears to mirror his methods, yet somehow more twisted, leading investigators to suspect remnants of his network or a new group capitalizing on the void he left behind.
Officials are working to identify those responsible, with the Police Commander stating, 'We’re committed to dismantling this operation and protecting the vulnerable.'
This is a developing story—stay tuned for updates.”
Eiji watched the television, face pale. No…no,no,no…
Even after everything, after all the horrors the group had been through, all the deaths, it was for nothing. Ash died for nothing. Children were still being trafficked. Still suffering through what he did.
No. Eiji quickly shut the news off, unable to stand another second of it. He couldn't stop his brain from thinking about all the stories Ash told him about his time with Dino. The sick, vile things that happened. The twisted minds of those who lust after children. He felt ill.
A total breakdown ensues as Eiji is unable to push any horrific thoughts from his mind. He had lost anything holding him together. He simply couldn’t take the pain and the guilt.
As he crumbled, his last bit of sanity tells him to grab his phone, to call someone, anyone. Ibe, Max, or Sing. He repeats the names in his head as he reaches for his phone on the table, but stops short at the sight of a paper laying under his camera. From the corner of it he can see the red of Ash’s shoes he wore often. He abandoned the path for his phone, and instead reached for the picture. His shaking hand was barely able to hang onto it.
Picture after picture Eiji looked through brought memories of the time they spent together. All the experiences they had. The months he spent falling in...
His mind was made up. He gathered all of Ash’s pictures, tenderly running his hands over each one as he placed them to his chest. He then stood, and headed for the door with nothing but the photos in his hand and the visions running wild in his mind.
I’m coming, Ash, I’ll see you soon.
It had become night, and every house around was void of movement inside. Eiji took a step, then another into the cold air of late February. Its biting wind pricked the corners of his eyes that were wet with tears, numbing them. A chill snaked through his hair and under his thin clothes, beckoning him to retreat inside; back to the warm safety of his home. But he didn’t. He didn’t feel this cold. In fact, he felt the wind push him forward, his mind locked in a trance.
His steps down the sidewalk weren’t fast, but they certainly had direction. He held tightly to the photos in his hand, as if grasping to the last bit of life he had left. Gusts whistled through the trees, and the stars called down on him from above.
He looked up at them, are you up there Ash? I’m coming to join you, so don't worry.
He smiled as a high bridge, far away from the nearest house came into view. He approached and ran one hand along the top concrete ledge, feeling each bump and crack as he made his way to the center.
He took a deep breath, letting the icy air fill his lungs, and pulled himself up. He firmly planted his feet on the ledge, looking down at the fast running water below. Chunks of ice tossed around beneath the bridge, and the sound of waves filled his ears.
Please, God, bring us together again, no matter what.
His feet inched closer to the outer edge, shoving small pebbles off the side that quickly descended, taking the same path he was soon to. He looked down at his picture once again, recalling Ash’s voice.
“Stay with me…I won’t ask ‘forever.’ Just for now, Eiji.”
I’ll stay with you...forever, Ash.
He closed his eyes, held the photos to his chest, and let his tears fall into the water below as he leaned forward off of the bridge.
It is at this same moment that Eiji feels arms wrap tightly around his lower body, causing his eyes to shoot open and stare at the drop he was mere seconds from taking. The arms quickly and roughly force him backwards off of the ledge and back down to the ground. He flailed out of fear and frustration, desperately trying to get away from the strong arms holding him.
Slowly realizing his fall was stopped, he began to cry, angrily, while struggling even harder to get away.
“Eiji, Eiji stop! Stop it!” The person holding him calls out.
Eiji quickly takes in the person. A male. Tall and big, much bigger than himself, and he realizes he doesn't stand a chance. The figure is dressed head to toe in all back, making him practically invisible in the night. Plus, further frightening Eiji, the man’s voice was deep, and he spoke in English. It had been weeks since he heard English other than on the news, and this made his mind race with possibilities, none of which made any sense. The man's face was covered.
Eiji began to scream and kick his legs around, making any attempt to escape, but the man’s hold didn't even shake.
“Eiji! You have to calm down! Eiji!”
“<Help! Anyone!>”
“Eiji stop! I'm not going to hurt you!!”
“<Anyone! ANYONE->”
Just for a moment-a split second-he felt a hand on the back of his neck, before everything went black.
The strange man had performed a harmless hit, immobilizing him. He pulled down his mask to take a deep breath.
“I’m sorry, Eiji.”