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2025-01-26
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don't patronize me

Summary:

After Shadow Milk was defeated by Pure Vanilla, the last thing he expected was for the other to keep him alive, much less smother him with attention. He should hate this, but he can't.

Notes:

hey there, strangers. I was inspired to write this fanfic after I saw pure vanilla's dialogue in the new beast raid, the one where he triggers shadow milk by calling him a "poor thing". This story takes place after pure vanilla beats up shadow milk. I never write, so I hope the quality suffices heh :D

Work Text:

The master of deceit never thought he'd stoop this low. He never would have imagined himself as worthless as a dog who barked for undeserved love and affection. It was inconceivable for someone as high-ranking as him.

When Shadow Milk had been beaten by Pure Vanilla and stripped of his powers, he was certain the other would kill him. He had gotten away with the worst kind of crimes and thus deserved the worst kind of punishment. If not to be killed, then to labor indefinitely, locked away in that stupid tree, under his victor's annoying triumphant smile.

But Pure Vanilla hadn't done that. Why he hadn't done so remained a mystery. Instead, the healer, figuring out Shadow Milk was useless without his Soul Jam, brought him to his congenial little kingdom. When he walked through the streets—which looked a bit worse for wear—for the first time, the villagers hated him. Their utters of disapproval and avoidance didn't go unnoticed by the jester. And when Pure Vanilla's friends found out, they urged him to exile the villain. Shadow Milk scoffed at their aversions. He could care less about what some insignificant gnats thought of him. Pure Vanilla, on the other hand, cared too much. He begged the villagers and his friends to let him live. He begged them, if not to forgive Shadow Milk, then to leave him alone.

It annoyed Shadow Milk, but he wouldn't question Pure Vanilla's weird savior complex as long as he let him stew in his pathetic defeat by himself. The last thing he wanted was anyone's pity. But he could only stew for so long before boredom struck, and with nothing better to do, he decided to plan his revenge. He attempted to plant small rumors here and there, but soon found out it was nigh impossible with that idiotic, yet kind-hearted cookie watching his every move. He couldn't do anything without being scolded like a child!

If Pure Vanilla had ended or sent him away, he would have been a lot less frustrated right now. He didn't know what to do with all the extra time. Most of it was spent on menial chores he didn't care about, most of which Pure Vanilla had sent him to do. And Pure Vanilla wasn't much of an entertainer either. All he did was attend boring meetings, heal injured cookies, and talk to forgettable characters. Did the guy have any fun at all? He already knew the answer to that question.

One day, he must have looked too exasperated because Pure Vanilla asked if he was alright. He replied with a straightforward "no." His captor had kept him alive out of spite and refused to let him go. He knew his list of crimes wasn't smaller than a common thief's, and everyone already made it clear they despised him. So why hadn't Pure Vanilla just gotten it over with? If he disappeared, wouldn't that make it easier for him?

He should've known better than to tell him the truth, though. After his little outburst, Shadow Milk knew Pure Vanilla would lose the kind act and send him away. But he didn't. Rather, he grew… closer to him.

It started small, and if he hadn't paid attention, which was impossible since he knew everything, he wouldn't have noticed the little brushes and light pats he began receiving from Pure Vanilla. Gradually, he asked Shadow Milk to sit with him, sometimes pulling him in with a stray arm as they read or stared out the window. Little by little, pats turned into strokes and brushes turned into embraces. 

Today, he found himself in a similar predicament. No... not similar. Worse. Another pat landed on his head and Shadow Milk grumbled in Pure Vanilla's lap, his chin on the other's shoulder.

"What's wrong?" Pure Vanilla gazed at him with a soft smile. "Are you not enjoying this?"

"Don't patronize me. Once I get my powers back, I'll destroy you for debasing me."

Pure Vanilla grabbed his collar, pulled him back so he faced him, and frowned.

"Revenge is a heavy burden to carry. There must be better ways of expressing your anger."

He hated him. He hated his knowing expression, his soft caresses, and his alluring eyes. He hated how he manipulated his body without hesitation and talked in such a soothing tone. He hated all of it. But the heat in his face betrayed those very thoughts.

"There isn't."

Pure Vanilla sighed, stroking the jester's cheek. "Poor thing..."

He was better than this. He knew he was. But despite his disgust, he couldn't shake himself from Pure Vanilla's grasp. He supposed after being betrayed by the witches, locked away for thousands of years, and tortured by his insanity, the soft ministrations of his captor's hands made him forget about all his worries. Maybe, if he relaxed, he would forget. Maybe the healer would heal away his sins.

Finally, he felt the sun's warmth falling through the pristine window. It covered him like a weighted blanket, urging him to sleep. The birds sang, their melodic chirps blending into an intricately woven harmony, and the laughter of cookies far away melted away the tension in his arms. He sunk deeper into Pure Vanilla's hug and closed his eyes. He was sure his head now rested snug against his shoulder.

"The once brilliant Fount of Knowledge... the one who turned to deceit," Pure Vanilla chuckled into his ear, "looks so peaceful in my embrace!"

"Vanilly, you—" He began, intent on another insult. But he swallowed it down. He didn't know why. "Maybe I am feeling less murderous than usual. Maybe this isn't so bad." Shadow Milk cracked his eyes open, just a little, a smile light on his face. "But you better keep me entertained before I get bored again!"

"I will." He hummed. "Now rest."

Pure Vanilla draped his cape over the jester and Shadow Milk relaxed, letting Pure Vanilla's sweet scent drift him to sleep. He wondered when they'd do this again.