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Angeal, in his penance form, thrust its trident forward with a powerful surge, sending a tremor through the air. One of the serrated tines of the trident grazed the young First’s jaw, a line of blood immediately flowing forth from the wound. Zack sucked in a quick breath as the pain blossomed. Not good… a woeful understatement.
“Please stop this Angeal!” the words rang out clear in the dilapidated bath house.
The clang of metal against metal rang through the rapidly darkening room as sword met trident. It made the young man’s arms tremble and sent shivers down his spine. Zack barely parried the next incoming strike, his grip on the hilt now felt tenuous. He seized a chance to retreat, rolling back, seeking a sliver of safety. A mix of tears and sweat stung at his eyes as he spared a moment to stare at the creature before him. He could make out the upper torso of Angeal above the huge monstrous sharp toothed maw, the tranquility upon the man’s face so strange to glimpse amid this chaos. His heart hammered with sorrow against his ribs as a desperate question consumed his mind. Is there even still a chance to reach you, Geal? Are you lost to me forever?
The monstrous creature advanced, the weight of its armored body causing the floor to tremble and crack beneath its massive talons. Unprepared to exchange another blow, Zack rolled away from the next swipe, feeling a searing pain in his lower abdomen. A scar, made tender again from the helicopter crash, now robbed him of precious speed. It also served as a reminder of why he couldn’t give up on Angeal. Pain made him grimace as he got to his feet. He rubbed his jaw on his shirt, the dark cable knit fabric absorbed the blood and sweat in an instant.
“Angeal!” he screamed once again voice filled with desperation, the sound bouncing off the cold stone walls, yet the statue of the man remained impassive.
Zack’s skin crawled as the monstrous form shifted, blurring the line between Angeal and the beast. He could almost convince himself his lover was astride the creature rather than part of it.
This was it, time to use his single precious spell of invincibility. It was the only way he could attempt to reach his erstwhile lover. With a grunt, he fixed his grip, cast the spell, and launched into the air, his body twisting like a dancer as he deflected blow after blow with a keen skill. He got close enough to touch the grayed skin of what remained of his lover. The young warrior reached up with his gloved hand and tenderly cupped the chiseled, stubbled chin of his lover’s form. “You’re right, there is someone waiting, but not just for me, for both of us.”
The monster’s arm move was swift, launching the shield towards the young soldier’s head, striking him from the left side. Without the remnants of the potion protecting him, the menacing sharp points surrounding the shield would have pierced his temple, yet the impact still sent him flying. Stunned, Zack’s body flew backwards, the right arm of the creature thrust forth, the trident mercilessly impaling the now vulnerable body, resulting in a sickening squelch.
The sound cut through the buzzing noise in his mind, a soundless scream echoing throughout his soul, reawakening the man’s humanity. Deep blue eyes sprang open, greyed flesh returning to a healthy tan. With a violent shudder, Angeal expelled the monsters from his body, and they vanished into clouds of white and grey ash. There was no hesitation in rushing to his former lover’s side.
“Oh, Gaia Zack, why did you do that?” With the disappearance of his penance form the trident which was thrust into the teenager’s chest had dissolved. Dread washed over the older man, who remembered what a pierced lung sounded like. There was no point in checking himself for healing potions or restore Materia both were long gone. Kneeling by his side, he attempted to assess the wounds. The black knit top hid most of the damage. “Do you have any healing potions or restore on you?”
Zack struggled to draw precious air into his lungs to speak, “crash” emerged the faint whisper.
Angeal’s heart sank, cursing himself for forgetting about the helicopter incident he witnessed from afar. Of course, if Zack had the restore materia, he would have used that instead of the potions to heal the others. It also meant that his healing factor had already gotten taxed to its limit. Everything was falling apart. Fate had it twisted. It should be him dying on the ground, not the man he loved. His heart constricted as he watched the vibrant young man suffer, the teen’s life blood already leeched out in crimson swirls on the wet ground.
With eyes wide, Zack clutched at his chest and throat in a silent plea. A desperate attempt to breathe only resulted in burbling and wet sucking sounds emanating from his pierced lungs. Hot tears welled up, blurring his vision as he struggled to speak. Finally, a realization hit him, he was drowning in his own blood.
Angeal’s jaw tightened as he tried to push aside the icy-dread he felt. With a gentle but firm hold, he gripped the young man’s arms, placing them at his sides. He silently urged the teenager to remain still as he drew back to pull up the black cable knit fabric, which smelled of blood, sweat and fuel. A fresh scar on the teen’s lower abdomen drew his eyes. His fingers grazed over the darkened line of flesh, but he didn’t dwell on it as he focused on the more serious chest wounds. He balled up the black shirt and applied pressure to the largest of the punctures.
They were too far away from any medical and no one else here would have healing items. There was nothing he could do but stay by his love’s side as he slipped away. This isn’t how this battle was supposed to end. Why had his plan gone so wrong? Regret gnawed at his aching heart, leaving a bitter taste in his mouth as he gripped the fabric so tight his knuckles likely turned white.
“I tried to be a hero for our son… promised… I would bring you back.” A violent cough wracked the teenager’s body. He felt a warm trickle of blood slide down from the right corner of his mouth, leaving a sticky crimson streak on the paling skin of his cheek. “… So, we could… be a family.” With a small surge of his dwindling energy reserves, his fingers, trembling with exhaustion, reached up and gently caressed his older lover’s handsome face, a gentle smile appearing on his lips.
“Our son?” The words hung in the air, heavy with unspoken questions. To know now that Zack was pregnant with his child when he abandoned him was like an excruciating punch to the gut, his heart filled with deep sorrow and regret. What have I done?
“Love…him for… both of us.” The sick burbling ceased, Zack’s fingertips fell from where they brushed Angeal’s stubble only moments prior. The light drained from the sky-blue eyes as the beautiful smile faded away forever. Only a lifeless husk remained of the spirited young man, his empty eyes, and slack mouth a cruel mockery that would torment his dreams until his own dying day.
A choked sob escaped Angeal as he scooped up his lover’s body, his fingers carding through the soft, thick mane of black spikes. “Don’t leave, Zack, please,” his voice trembled. “You’re the one that needs to go on, not me. I don’t deserve to.” The pleas echoed off the decaying walls. His white wing wrapped around him and the rapidly cooling body, his tears blended with the chilling drops that fell through the tattered remains of the roof onto the beautiful face.
He lost track of how long he had been kneeling, the weight of the body in his arms serving as a harsh reminder of his failure to protect all he cherished. His tears ran dry, and the icy rain that drenched him mattered little. It was only when a green glow pierced the darkness, signaling Gaia calling her child home, that he looked up to witness the departure of his light from this world. Angeal’s life felt suddenly hollow and pointless, now left in a dreary world, devoid of meaning. As he glanced back at the ground where Zack had lain, his mako-enhanced vision saw the scant amount of blood that lingered. A beige square caught his attention. With long, strong fingers, he picked up the flimsy object. It had to be a photo. He turned it over almost reflexively, breath caught as the image of Zack, sweaty with grey smudges on his face, smiling tenderly at a tiny newborn with a tuft of dark hair, skin still pink from birth, came into view. “Argus, 2000” written across the bottom in the teen’s simple script. There was still a piece of his beloved in this realm.
We have a son. A spark of hope ignited within the former soldier’s heart. Perhaps, by honoring Zack’s last wish to be a part of their son’s life, he could find some semblance of salvation amidst the sea of devastating losses. The brown-haired girl that was at that old church regularly would probably be the best lead in trying to find his son. His self-imposed penance partly stemmed from the belief that the girl had stolen his place in Zack’s heart, leaving him consumed by resentment toward them both. Oh, how wrong he had been.
Night hid Angeal, moving like a shadow he silently entered Midgar’s underbelly. A thick, cloying smell of grime hung in the air under the plate, a testament to the appalling living conditions Shinra had subjected these people to. The lack of response to his presence was surprising. Perhaps his conversation with Lazard had been more fruitful than he expected. However, once the Turks and infantrymen reported back about his assault on them, their pursuit would be swift and relentless. He perched, unseen, outside the church, the stone of the wall cool against his back, patiently waiting for the young girl, hoping she would come today.
Luck was on his side, as he spotted the familiar figure of the girl from afar, her long hair braided and a pink bow nestled at her nape.
Bright yellow flowers peaked out playfully from the generously sized woven basket she now carried, her petite frame not bothered by its size as the girl moved with energetic steps.
It was interesting how she kept her white and blue dress so spotless amidst the dust and dirt of the slums. He remained in place, though weary of invisible eyes posted around to observe her. The question of why she was on Shinra’s radar lingered, but it didn’t matter right now. Perhaps he could use one of his few remaining copies to lure away the Turks’ attention.
With gentle hands, Aerith tended to the flowers, warm shafts of sunlight dappling the flowerbeds, illuminating the colorful blooms. Natural light was such a rarity in the slums. She hummed as she worked, occasionally glancing at the basket and smiling, although it didn’t quite reach her emerald eyes. The melody of her song faltered as the church’s large doors creaked open. The light from the building entrance caused her to squint as an imposing figure filled the doorway, casting a long shadow. She could only discern that they possessed a massive sword, with the grip visible near their head and the tip of the blade appearing near their calf. Are those wings?
She leapt up in an instant, moving toward the figure that had just entered. I had a feeling he would show up today. As the doors closed, the light normalized, and she knew this man was the one in the photos Zack had shared with her.
“Oh, hello!” Aerith bowed, her voice warm, “you must be Angeal. I’m Aerith.”
“Yes, I’m Angeal,” he said, voice surprisingly calm, trying to muster any kind of smile. “It’s nice to meet you, Aerith,” extending a hand now bare after discarding the worn black gloves that had gone stiff with Zack’s dried blood. In his eyes, the blood would be forever present on his hands, a constant reminder of the sins committed.
She respectfully ignored the offered hand and bowed instead, keeping a safe distance from the towering figure.
It surprised him she showed no fear and welcomed him so readily, even if she knew who he might be. “Don’t you find it odd that Zack isn’t with me?”
With a slight shrug of her shoulders, she spoke. “He warned me it would be a dangerous mission and not to be surprised if you showed up without him.” Of course, she had felt his life force fade like she had her mother's long ago. Whispers from the life stream only confirmed it.
Her calm demeanor was unexpected. Whether this girl was brave or foolish, remained to be seen. With eyes downcast, he spoke in a hushed tone, voice wavering only a bit. “I shouldn’t be here. I’m the one who belongs in the life stream, not Zack.” Locking eyes with the girl just feet before him he roared “I loved him, and he’s dead because of me!” Breath hitching the ache in his chest at Zack’s absence felt like a gaping wound in his heart.
The girl seemed unfazed at the sudden volume of his voice or the gravity of his confession. “He swore he’d gladly give his life to bring you back.” She noted the large man stiffen at her words. Her head tilted, and she moved, only to lace her fingers behind her back. A gentle smile graced her lips. “That you’re here now shows the depth of his love for you, a love he shares equally for your son.”
“He deserved so much more than this cruel fate.” If Genesis were here, those words would no doubt elicit a smug smirk upon his lips. “My selfishness blinded me. I couldn’t see beyond my suffering to see that he was hurting because of me.” The truthful words tasted like bitter ash in his mouth. Wait, what had she said? “My son! Gaia, there I go again off in my head. Do you know where Argus is?”
She nodded and walked back over to her basket in the bed of flowers. Kneeling, she removed a wrapped bundle from it and walked over to Angeal.
“Zack never got around to building me a cart to sell flowers from or he would have been riding around in that.” Smiling, she hands over the small gurgling baby boy with a charming smile. “Perhaps someday you could make it in his place?”
The large man nodded, only partially listening as he took the precious bundle into his arms. “I wish Zack had said something…” before I dropped him into the abyss. Gaia, what have I done?
“He didn’t know himself until they were cutting him out of his belly in the hospital here in the slums.” She regales him with the harrowing birth of Argus after the fall that Zack experienced thanks to him dropping the teenager through the plate and the roof of the church.
“I’ve just been dabbling in healing.” Her voice was soft as she spoke, hands clasped above her heart. “Perhaps if I was better about practicing, I could have done something for him beyond helping get him to the hospital.” Aerith truly wished Zack was correct about Angeal’s ability to raise the boy. She rested her hand momentarily on the broad, bare shoulder before turning away, “I’ll help anytime I can, but he needs you more than anyone else.” Stepping away, she bowed, “I’m going to head home now.” She had to trust in Zack’s judgment.
It was oddly silent after the young girl left. The remaining sounds of life outside faded away. With a creak, the doors swung open, flooding the empty church with the bright light warming the massive man sitting in the pew.
Zack walked forward, stopping to turn and lean against the wooden bench in front of his lover and babe. “I never stopped loving you, I’ll never stop… even though you took my life and unknowingly almost our sons.” He couldn’t help but smile at the handsome image Angeal made holding their boy gently.
“I’m so sorry for everything you had to endure because of me.” He caressed the soft chubby cheek of the infant he now held. “Gaia only knows what you will have to endure, little one.”
“My regret is that I wasn’t enough to bring you back.” He looked at the cooing, wiggling bundle and wondered if their son could see him. Zack longed to hold his baby, hands itching to feel their softness, but he didn’t dare to try, too afraid that could cause harm.
“You were worth fighting back the madness, but I didn’t see the value in myself to make that push back.” There were a lot of things he should have thought about more. “I didn’t think that you would be the one to pay the price for my hysteria.”
“It wasn’t all your fault. Part of the blame goes to the degradation.”
Angeal shook his head gently from side to side, his long onyx hair catching his son’s attention as the tiny hands tried to reach up to grab at the dark strands.
“No, that lunacy was all my own. I never suffered from degradation like Genesis or my creations do.” The relief it brought his heart, knowing their son wouldn’t have to deal with that burden, was profound, and prayed to Gaia their little one had Zack’s mental fortitude. He couldn’t help but feel a tinge of sorrow upon realizing that the little one’s eyes were the same deep blue as his own, rather than the stunning violet that the teen’s eyes had been before taking on their striking Soldier sky-blue hue. “Why Argus?”
“He was my shining light as darkness closed in around me.” Even though he was reeling from the deep sorrow of his lover’s betrayal after he got dropped into the darkness of the slums, the birth of this tiny miracle he didn’t know about until he came screaming into the world gave him the strength to endure.
“My touch is like a curse on everything I care about, from my village to my career, my family, friends, even our relationship. It’s all gone.”
Would news that his love’s friend still roamed the realm of the living help or hinder the older man’s mental state? No, he deserves to know. “If it helps, Genesis hasn’t joined the life stream.”
A humorless chuckle escaped the large man’s chest. Of course, the entire reason he pushed that fight onto Zack was his friend’s supposed death. With perfect clarity, understanding far too late that he should have never risked depriving the world of Zack Fair. Now their son would never experience the warmth of his other father’s embrace, the comforting sound of his voice, or the joy of his presence. Angeal could only share stories from their all too brief life together and that alone could never fill the void in his heart. “I can’t chase after him now. I won’t risk Argus being harmed or my not returning to him.” He honestly didn’t know where to go from here, but he would figure it out.
Zack felt that his time here was through. The life stream called to him. Standing, he walked to look upon his son’s face once more before he left. As he stood to leave, he placed a kiss on his lover’s temple and moved towards the bright lights through the church doors.
Angeal sobbed at the tingling feeling that was left behind by his spikey haired lover’s soft lips. “You are more of a hero than I could ever be, puppy.” This was his true penance.