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“Welcome to our new dorm!”
Kazuha can feel the excitement between Yunjin’s words. This is also the first time she’ll be having Chaewon and Yunjin as her new roommates.
It does seem exciting at first. She is close with her two friends and had shared some laughter together. She won’t also be having problems with some of her meals since she and the red haired woman almost share similar taste buds. Conversations were also never dull with their leader maybe because they also have the same birthday month.
However, she misses something.. no someone.
At first it was awkward with Sakura during their first days in their dorm but the woman never failed to make her feel at home in a foreign country. She is also very considerate in what food she likes to eat. Sometimes in the middle of the night, the woman can’t suppress her voice when she’s excited during a game night. However, the woman will still apologize when she’s getting a bit loud when she isn’t really.
All of these little things might seem like nothing to others but Kazuha.. oh she missed the woman so much.
“Chaewon unnie, how long would we be roommates with each other this time?” She asked their leader in a sad voice.
“Why Zuha? You don’t want to be with me and Yunjin?” She can see Chaewon chuckling and taps her on the shoulder.
“Don’t be like that Zuha!” Yunjin screams.
This is what she enjoys with these two. It’s those simple conversations and it’s always fun. Kazuha just hoped that she didn’t sound so sad when she asked the question as she didn't want any issues since there really aren't any. Chaewon answered that she still doesn’t know. Maybe after a few years or months if they’re lucky, and they are much more successful than before.
Kazuha thought that this new dorm assignment might take at least a year. She hopes that they could just all have an apartment together.
When she was drowning in her own thoughts, Eunchae called and asked if they were already finished unpacking since Sakura wanted to celebrate having new dorms.
“What’s there to celebrate? She doesn’t miss me..?” Kazuha is confused by this.
—
They all agree to eat at Eunchae and Sakura’s apartment since it is much bigger because of the lack of another person. Sakura even paid for their food and looks genuinely ecstatic by all of this. Kazuha doesn’t know what to feel. Does the woman want their maknae to be her roommate so badly? But she’s also a maknae she thought.
After they ate, Sakura asked Kazuha to stay for a bit as the woman was supposed to give her something.
“So how’s your new dorm Zuha chan?” Sakura asks her while they’re cleaning the table.
“Oh, it’s great. It seems bigger than the last time.” Talking to the woman, she sounded more excited than she wanted to. Kazuha hoped that Sakura didn’t hear the crack on her voice.
“Don’t worry, I’ll tell Yunjin and Chaewon to take care of you properly.” Sakura smiles between the words.
“You’re still growing so eating the right food is still important.”
All her doubts were gone instantly by that smile. Kazuha was surprised at how the woman still cares for her even after all of this.
After cleaning, Sakura asked her to come inside the woman’s room for the gift she mentioned earlier. Sure they had been roommates before, but it is rare that they will visit each other's rooms just for giving gifts.
“Come Zuha.” Sakura sits at the side of her bed and pats the space beside her.
Kazuha slowly sits down on the bed and feels the soft mattress. She looks around and Sakura has already finished packing. The Nintendo Switch, the pillows, the stuff toys, she can see the same things just like in their last dorm.
“Now close your eyes.” Sakura looks intently at her.
“W-why unnie..” Kazuha asks as she’s unsure what this gift is supposed to be but she wants it. Whatever it is.
When she closes her eyes, Sakura holds her hand and caresses it. The woman apologizes if she wasn’t able to care for Kazuha more than she wanted to. The woman feels that she spent too much time in her room doing her usual things and sometimes forgets to ask how’s her day. Kazuha assures her that she enjoyed every moment of them being roommates together and is actually fine by all of it.
“You’re too kind Zuha chan.. won’t you miss being in a dorm with me?” Sakura asks her boldly. She can feel the sad tone in her voice.
She wanted to say yes that she missed the woman already. She wanted to say how she loves waking up knowing that Sakura would just be in the kitchen or sofa doing something. She wanted to say how she loves it when Sakura tells stories or even those funny quotes she has. She wanted to say all of this, however she can feel that Sakura starts to lean towards her and it distracts the noise in her head.
“Don’t open your eyes okay?” Kazuha just nods to that simple request.
She patiently waits like she has always been doing for the woman. She can only hear her breath as well as Sakura. The woman touched her cheeks and she could feel the warmth in those hands. Kazuha didn’t know she craved this moment. She thought she was always okay with how calm and soft their relationship is. She thought everything was fine as long as the woman was there with her. But how is this okay when she can feel her heart beat faster and her cheeks getting redder.
However, that moment she never knew she wanted didn’t last. She suddenly felt something leaning towards her lips but got disappointed finding out it wasn’t something she hoped for.
“You can open your eyes now.”
Kazuha opens her eyes and she doesn’t know what she’s looking at.
“What is this unnie? … Oh!” She exclaimed in response after knowing what it was.
It’s a crochet stuffed toy but it was handmade.. It was made by Sakura and the character looks familiar.
“It’s Sakkukku. I will give it to you so that you won’t miss me.” Sakura laughs shyly.
Kazuha sees that sincere smile on the woman’s face. Oh how she will miss that face. It’s not like they won’t be seeing each other because of their busy schedule but it’s more like she won’t see that face anymore when she wakes up. The sleepy face on Sakura she finds cute.
“Unnie.. thank you.. you know that I will mi-”
“That’s all Zuha. You can go back now.” Sakura taps her arms.
Kazuha doesn’t know why the woman does this. It’s not like her words are always getting cut off, it’s like Sakura just doesn’t want to hear something that might break what they have now.
—
Kazuha went back to her new apartment and she tries to hide the gift but Chaewon sees it and Yunjin now wants all of them to have a crochet stuffed toy made by Sakura. The two felt jealous in a friendly way how Sakura really loves and takes care of their maknaes.
“I knew she would do that.” Chaewon smiles at her when she’s about to go to her room.
“So don’t be sad now Zuha.” Yunjin taps her head.
So they did feel that she’s a bit sad by the sudden change in their apartment. She feels a bit embarrassed and apologizes that it’s not that she doesn’t feel happy with them. The two just laughed at her awkwardness and their leader hoped that next time all five of them would be together even in their dorm.
—
Kazuha decides to lie on her bed hugging the crochet stuffed toy Sakura made just for her. She stares at the ceiling where it reminds her of the times where she will wake up in the middle of the night and will hear Sakura talking to her mother or playing some games. Where the subtle noise comforts her knowing that the woman is just on the other side of the apartment. She became so complacent thinking that nothing will change and it hurt her.
She didn’t know it would be over. If she only knew that they would be assigned to a new place, she would not spend her nights staring at the ceiling alone but instead would ask Sakura if she could lie beside with her sometimes. Or the other way around.
Kazuha drifts to sleep hugging Sakkukku near her wishing it was the woman. She doesn’t know that Sakura also has a crochet stuffed toy beside her but instead of a cat, it is a samoyed.